Black Light
by Dante Lewis
Summary: COMPLETE! AU What will Snape do when his sister dies, leaving him to raise the child she bore to Sirius Black? Call Remus Lupin of course! But a life built on secrets is but a house built on sand as they will discover. 1st FF Please R
1. The Calm Before the Storm

Disclaimer: Harry Potter, it's characters, locations and all associated paraphernalia belong to JK Rowling, a gifted and imaginative mind that resides all the way over in England; which is a far cry from a obsessed plot bunny wrangler who has hardly two Knuts to rub together.

A/N 2nd July 2005: As of today, this fic is complete. As such, any issues or questions that arise in reviews will only be responded to by return e-mail.

"**Black Light"**

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter One: The Calm Before The Storm**

Saturday, 24 October 1981

"Lily Potter I will never forgive you for making pregnancy seem so glamorous!" The heavily pregnant, raven-head beauty scowled at her best friend from her position on the couch.

The fiery redhead in question shifted the squirming boy on her knee and chuckled, her green eyes twinkling in mirth. "Really Sussy, it isn't that bad! Put your feet up on the coffee table, that helped me with the swelling."

Sussy sneered at the suggestion and grunted as she struggled to clomp her uncooperative limbs onto the table in front of her. "Merlin, I feel like I'm carrying a whole Quidditch team!"

"Selina, love, don't sneer like that, you look like Snivellus!" A male's voice chided from the doorway.

Selina sighed, and twisted her head around to glare at her approaching husband, one delicately shaped eyebrow raised. "I really wish you wouldn't call him that, Sirius! Isn't it about time you two put this childish animosity behind you?" She said, gesturing vaguely at her heavily rounded belly.

Sirius Black smirked at his wife and winked. "Sorry, sweetheart, I keep forgetting it's _PROFESSOR_ Snivellus now!"

Selina quirked her lips, failing to hide a smile while her friend shook her head. "Sirius Black, you are incorrigible!" Lily admonished, playfully. "Ah look, seems like someone wants to say hello!" she added as the little boy on her lap started to wriggle excitedly and reach out to the newest occupant of the room.

"Pa-foo! Pa-foo!" He cooed, his baby babble forming the more basic of vowels.

"'Allo Harry! Miss me did ya kiddo?" Sirius joked with his Godson, and walked over to his mother to relieve her of him. "Hand him over Lils, you look like you need a break!"

Lily Potter shrugged and unquestioningly handed her son over to the awaiting arms of his Godfather. "What's the matter Sirius, desperate to fit in some last minute practice?" She smirked.

Sirius ignored her, instead focusing all his attention on the child in his arms. "Wanna come say hello to the baby Harry?" Sirius asked, shifting Harry on his hip as he carefully stepped around the scattering of toys by the hearth to join his wife on the couch. Then, after settling Harry on his lap and giving his wife a chaste kiss, he cradled the smaller hand in his own and guided it towards his wife's belly while Harry watched on in wrapt attention.

"How's she been treating her mother tonight, babe?" Sirius looked at his wife questioningly as he ran Harry's hand over her stomach, feeling for stimulus.

Selina shrugged, then smiled as she felt something move within her. "Ah, waiting for her Daddy, it seems!"

Sirius' eyes lit up as he felt an affirming kick by the baby through Harry's hand, which was pressed firmly against his wife's stomach. Harry squealed in delight, his bright eyes wide.

"I'm not the only one she's waiting for," he growled softly, nodding towards Harry before adding under his breath. "He may be my Godson, but I swear if he ever…"

"Oh come off it Sirius, we don't even know if it's a boy or a girl! We told Healer Svigos that we didn't want the charm performed…" Selina's voice trailed off as she noted the mischievous glint in her husband's eye. Her eyes narrowed. "WHAT! Sirius! We agreed!"

Sirius smiled broadly at his wife, his eyes dancing at her reddening face. "Gods you look so sexy when you're angry!" He jibed, welcoming her death glare before he reached over and clasped his wife's hand in his own then leant in close to kiss her ear lobe.

"No one performed any charm," he stated softly, in a rare moment of total seriousness. Then, looking her square in the eye, he added, "trust me, I just know we're having a girl!"

Selina huffed, her anger dissipating. "Oh, and I suppose you have her life all mapped out already, huh?"

"Right down to the very last detail." He said smiling, a wistful, far away look in his eyes.

Lily laughed. "I don't know how they do it, James was the same. Had Harry here pegged to be Gryffindor Seeker and Head Boy before I'd even finished my first trimester!"

"Well can't argue with Prongs there!" Sirius exclaimed, bouncing Harry on his knee. "This kid just has future-Quidditch Captain written all over him! I'm sure if I could just take him out flying he'd…"

Lily shook her head. "Sirius Black I've said it before and I'll say it again, there's no way I am having my son out on that blasted bike of yours – I don't give a flying howler what you or James say about how safe it's supposed to be!"

Sirius sighed in mock disappointment before shooting his wife a hopeful look "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Was all she said.

"Baby! Baby?" Harry babbled, patting his hand on Selina's stomach, and was rewarded with another resounding kick. Harry grinned a gummy smile, his lone front tooth standing proud. "My baby!" He squealed again.

Sirius Black beamed at his godson and hugged him closer. "That's right Harry," he murmured. "She'll be your baby and you'll look out for her at Hogwarts for me, won't you?"

Harry glanced at his godfather knowingly and smiled. "Hog! Hog!"

"That's right Harry, one day you will go to Hogwarts and soon after that, Missy here…" at this Sirius patted Harry's hand on Selina's swollen belly before continuing in a sing-song voice "…will come and join you, and then she will fall even more in love with you and if you are good to her I will let you marry her and then you can have lots of little grand-pronglets and grand-padfoots to give Professor Snivellus a nervous breakdown and they will all be on the Quidditch team and win the Cup for Gryffindor year after year and stick it to the slimy Slytherins!"

"What's this about slimy Slytherins?" A bespectacled, messy-haired man interjected as his emerged from the fireplace, shrugging off his official robes and making quite an entrance as he tripped and almost fell over one of Harry's toy Hogwarts Carriages.

"Oh hello James," Lily said, leaping to her feet to greet her husband with a firm embrace. "Padfoot here was just planning the lives of our children and their grandchildren!"

James shot his best friend a knowing look and smiled, "Shhh Padfoot, you weren't supposed to tell them our plans!"

The men laughed at this, and the women smiled contentedly as their spouses launched into an enthusiastic play-by-play of events yet to pass.

End Chapter: The Calm Before The Storm


	2. Lightning Crashes

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!

Additional Disclaimer: The lyrics quoted in this and following chapters derive from the song "Lightning Crashes" by Live. I do not own the rights, nor have I permission to use them (shhhh!). Nor will I profit from them in anyway unless some Goblin from Gringotts decides to give me a Galleon for every review I get...

Uploaded: 24th December 2004

**"Black Light" **

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Two: Lightning Crashes**

One week later

Sweat covered her brow as yet another contraction receded, the rivulets of perspiration echoing the driving rain that was steadily pattering on the window outside her room. Selina sobbed, her body wrought with a pain as equally emotional as it was physical. It was hard to believe that it was just a week ago that everything had been so perfect… so… so… right. Sure, the Wizarding world was at war. Everyone knew there were risks, but they were together, and happy, and that's all that mattered.

_**Oh I feel it coming back again**_

_**Like a rolling thunder chasing the wind**_

Feeling another contraction coming on, Selina clutched the stuffed toy dog closer to her and willed with all her might to feel her husband's strong, comforting arms around her as her agonised scream battled for volume against the rolling thunder outside. Hell, at this point, she'd even settle for the disapproving glare of her _brother_! But, as the fate's had dealt it, she couldn't even have that.

_**Lightning crashes a new mother cries**_

_**This moment she's been waiting for**_

This was supposed to be the happiest moment of her life. Everything over the past nine months had been leading up to this point, and yet her whole world was crashing down before her at a dizzying pace. James and Lily… gone! Her brother accused of being a Death Eater… a _Death Eater!_ Earlier that evening when the Ministry Officials came to alert her of Severus' incarceration, all the pieces of the puzzle began to fall disturbingly into place.

**_Lightning crashes, a new mother cries_ **

Selina broiled with hate. Peter Pettigrew – the quiet, unassuming, fourth marauder – had, in recent times, become steady acquaintances with her brother. That Peter was so close to both her own family and Sirius' makeshift family in James and Lily - and yet so aloof and unnoticeable in people's recollections- made him the perfect choice for being the Potter's Secret Keeper. When the news came that her brother was an alleged traitor to the light, the integrity of Peter's sudden interest in potions came into question. She knew Severus was a spy, and that he couldn't blow his cover by telling them directly about Peter working for Voldemort; but damn it they'd missed all the signs. Who else could have exposed Severus as a Death Eater if not for that _rat_?

As a precaution, Sirius was out the door and roaring off into the sunset on his bike before one could say "trick or treat". James and Lily had to be warned, and Selina had never seen her husband look so serious… or worried. He had been gone no longer than half an hour before another pair of Aurors graced her doorstep with closed expressions. Selina's legs had buckled from under her as the news was spoken with just a look.

Gone.

She had barely enough time to register the accusing, cold stare of the Auror's at her door before her baby decided it was time to enter the world… her water breaking all over the Ministry-issued dragon hide boots of the men. Which brings her to where she was now, in the Maternity Ward of St. Mungos, about to give birth.

End Chapter: Lightning Crashes


	3. Confusion Sets In

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!

Uploaded: 29th December 2004

_A/N: It's going to be a bit sad for the next few chapters, but it will get happier, I promise! _

**"Black Light"**

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Three: Confusion Sets In.**

But where was Sirius? There was no question in Selina's mind that Sirius had more than likely happened upon the scene of the Potter's untimely demise. Nothing would have kept him away from seeing the truth with his own eyes. Was he so distraught in his grief that he couldn't travel? She wondered. Why hadn't anyone brought him here? Did something happen to him in the storm? Was he taking care of Harry? Oh Gods Harry…

"My husband!" She grimaced, grabbing the arm of the hovering midwife. "Where's Sirius?"

The young nurse pulled back abruptly and avoided her eyes, seeming uncomfortable in her presence. Selina's questioning look, however, was interrupted by the rapid onset of another excruciating contraction.

"No…" she wailed. "This isn't right." Gasp. "Something's wrong." Another Gasp. "Not yet. Sirius…" her voice trailed off as she struggled for breath, oblivious to the nervous looks the nursing staff exchanged at the mention of Sirius' name.

Exhausted, Selina fell back unto her pillows, the pain etched in her face framed by stray rays of lightning that sharply illuminated the room in its pursuit of thunder. Drifting in and out of awareness as weariness crept in to succumb to the calming draughts and potions the Doctor's had given her, Selina struggled to put her thoughts together in her mind. Sirius' boastful voice was suddenly in her head as she was reminded of a conversation that took place a few weeks earlier…

_"No-one will expect Peter to be the Secret Keeper, everyone will just assume I'm the Secret Keeper. No one will go after Peter, it's brilliant, Selina your husband's a genius!"_

Selina shot up in bed as the realisation hit her. No one knew that James and Lily had swapped secret keepers! The Ministry were after Sirius! Maybe they already had him! Selina screamed both in pain and fury as the thought of her husband being treated like a criminal graced her ever-fogging mind. Gods, James and Lily. Sirius would soon as die for them. Surely people would know that?

The door opened, as though by force. Voices trailed in from outside.

"With all due respect Nurse Steinberg, but I don't care what the hospital policy is, Selina Black is my friend and she's all alone, so I am going in. Now kindly step out of my way before I show you the business end of my wand!"

Selina could barely make out what was said, but there was no doubting in her mind who this softly spoken male voice belonged to.

"Remus!" She cried out. "Thank Merlin!"

At this, the door opened wider to reveal the gaunt and tattered form of her old friend. Recent times, she realised, had not treated him kindly; but all that mattered at that moment was that he was there. It hit her with a bitter sense of irony that despite all of the unwarranted speculation questioning the Werewolf's loyalties and the subsequent ostracising of him from his circle of friends, no one had thought to remove his name from the emergency contacts on her medical records. For that she was eternally grateful.

"Remus!" She rasped, reaching out her hand to beckon him into the room. "Sorry… so sorry… we thought… we didn't think… Sirius… oh Gods Sirius… Remus they think… he didn't… must help him… James…. Lily… oh God. OH GOD!" Selina screamed as another contraction hit her.

Remus ignored the glares he was getting from the nurses and took a seat at Selina's side, grasping the hand which wasn't wrapped around her 'Snuffles' toy and gently brushing her sweat-drenched hair out of her face with a cool cloth he had conjured.

"Shhh… Selina, remember to breathe. Don't worry about anything else right now; just concentrate on the task at hand, mmm? We will sort everything out, all right? Everything will be taken care of!" Remus soothed in comforting tones, sighing in relief when his werewolf senses picked up signs of her relaxing under his ministrations. '_Thank Merlin tonight isn't a full moon.'_ He mused to himself.

"What?" Selina whispered once she had caught her breath. "Not going to offer me some _Chocolate_, Remus?"

Remus quirked his lips. "Well actually if you insist, I do happen to…"

His response was rapidly cut off by sharp intake of breath from the woman at his side. "Oh Gods, again? …So soon."

The healer at the end of the bed, who had been carefully monitoring the ongoing situation, gave Selina a meaningful look. "Right, now Mrs Black, I do believe that it's time to push!"

_**The angel opens her eyes**_

_**Pale blue coloured iris**_

Remus' eyes widened. Selina grimaced and gripped his hand like a lifeline. The moments that followed went like a blur. Before they knew it, Selina was spent, and a piercing wail gave the storm outside a run for its galleons.

"Congratulations Mrs Black, you have a beautiful blue eyed baby girl." The midwife announced, wrapping the baby firmly in a fluffy yellow blanket. "Mrs Black?"

_**Her placenta falls to the floor**_

_**The angel opens her eyes**_

_**The confusion sets in**_

_**Before the doctor can even close the door**_

Fear gripped Selina's eyes as they met Remus confused look. "_Moony_… something… something's wrong. I don't feel… quite right."

Remus looked from Selina to the deepening concerned looks on the Healer's face, comprehension setting in.

"Selina?" His throat constricted in fear. '_No not her too…'_

"Healer, what's happening? What's happening?" He demanded.

Healer Svigos nodded quickly at the midwife who nodded back gravely before sweeping out of the room with the baby; then turned his attention to Remus' question. "Mr Lupin, if you would be so obliged as to leave the room, there seems to be a problem."

Selina gripped Remus' hand weakly. "No! Please don't leave me!"

Remus looked helplessly between the woman fading before his eyes and the now frantic Healer who was barking orders left right and centre between casting complex charms. His Werewolf senses were overwhelmed with… the scent of blood. Too much blood. All colour left his face as the grip on his hand started to weaken.

"Selina. Don't worry. I'll… I'll… everything will be taken care of." Remus choked back his emotion.

"Remus, my baby, don't let them take her away!" Selina cried desperately, realisation setting in. "Go to her Remus. Give her this. I don't… you shouldn't… Go."

Remus wiped away the lone tear that had flooded from his misty eye and gruffly accepted the distressed looking black dog from Selina's outstretched hand before turning on his heel and stalking from the room, not looking back. The last look between them conveying more than words ever could.

Selina watched her friend walk away for the last time as the darkness began to envelop her. Eyes glazing over, all tension left her body as her lips curved into a slight smile.

"He knew." She whispered.

_**Lightning crashes**_

_**Aold mother dies**_

_**Her intentions fall to the floor**_

With that, and a deafening crash of thunder, Selina Black was no more. Outside her door, Remus' werewolf senses failed to pick up her heartbeat, and the realisation was instantaneous. Letting out a ragged sob, he followed the newborn cub's scent. Down the hall, a baby screamed.

She knew too.

_**The confusion that was hers **_

_**Belongs now to the baby down the hall**_

End Chapter: Confusion Sets In


	4. Murky Waters Ahead

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!

Uploaded: 2nd January 2005

**"Black Light"**

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Four: Murky Waters Ahead**

Remus pushed open the door to the nursery wearily. The cataclysmic events of the day only beginning to hit him full force. James and Lily… dead. Voldemort… gone. Peter… killed by Sirius who had betrayed them all and was now on his way to Azkaban. Caught red-handed laughing insanely, the people in the hall had said. Nothing like the caring father-to-be everyone had been fooled into seeing. Then there's Selina. Shaking his head forlornly, Remus mused. '_It was probably for the best. Knowing what Sirius did would have broken her heart anyway.'_

Walking up to the lone crib in the centre of the room, Remus leaned over and nestled the battered toy dog against the infant's lithe body before subconsciously stroking the dark fuzz on the baby's head; mirroring his ministrations to its mother just moments earlier. The child stopped screaming and focused herslightly greying eyes on her attendant.

Sirius' eyes. Remus thought with a start. 

"Now that I have your attention, young lady" Remus admonished, in his best authoritative tone. Then, adding more for himself. "What to do with you?"

"I believe that is none of your concern, Mr Lupin." A voice interjected from the doorway. "The child is now a ward of the Ministry."

Remus spun around, protectively standing between the baby's crib and the intruder. He could smell ill intent. "Who are you, and what do you want?" He growled, his baser pack instincts overcoming his sensibilities.

The smug looking man approached with an air of false confidence, a stubby hand outstretched. "Cornelius Fudge. Minister for Family Services."

Briskly shaking Remus' hand like it was a dangerous contagion, Fudge smiled falsely and moved to look at the baby.

"The Ministry appreciates your concern, but as I was saying, under Decree 214 of the Family Services Act, all children of incarcerated criminals without _suitable_ law-abiding next of kin to accept guardianship of them shall be relinquished to the custody of the Azkaban Asylum for Children until they come of age or a suitable relative be found."

Remus' jaw dropped open. The Azkaban Asylum for Children was a matter of much consternation within concerned humanitarians in the Wizarding Society. Rumours of what went on there told of horrific misdoings. The shadowed, inhumane activities that went on said to be an emotional deterrent for the criminally inclined parents of the world to abide by the law. However, as all children of Azkaban inmates have, to date, had 'suitable' upstanding relatives or Godparents located within a very short period of time, no move had been made to amend the Decree, or put a stop to the atrocities that went on with the cold dank walls of the Asylum.

Families who have taken in a former resident of the Asylum remain tight lipped as to the institution's lasting effects. The children were often sheltered from the community and purportedly home schooled. Activists even went so far as to question if the 'released' children even existed at all, or if the Dementors descended from the neighbouring prison and gave them the kiss upon arrival. Speculation is that all the children are still in there, having gone as mad as their parents, and thus left to rot in 'mini Azkaban' for our safety.

Never in history has a newborn been subjected to within even a kilometre of Azkaban Island or the abominations that feed on the souls there. Surely they could make an exception in this case and keep the baby out. Remus was hopeful that the Healers would see fit to retain the child for observation for a couple of days… buy some time until Dumbledore could exonerate the child's Uncle – who he had just been informed was a spy – and have him released. Remus was just about to voice his objections when the pug-faced Minister continued with contentious self-satisfaction.

"Surely Mr Lupin, you can't actually care for this child? What, with all the dark blood that runs through her veins! I couldn't think of a place better to place this child! I'll see to it that my department deploy a Mediwitch to escort this infant to the infirmary at the Asylum expediently. No need to waste the valuable resources of this fine institution and deprive the other patients of quality care!" The pompous fool ranted, oblivious to Remus' increasing rage.

"How dare you dishonour the dead?" Remus said softly, each word accented carefully in his efforts to contain his rage and prevent himself from wielding his wand and hexing the man six ways to Sunday.

Cornelius Fudge took a step back from the fiery look in Lupin's eye and uttered his commiserations. "Yes, yes, poor child. I do wish it could be different, but it's the law." He reasoned, clamouring for favour.

It wasn't coming.

Crestfallen, the spineless whelp of a Ministry lackey stuttered. "Well I'll leave you to fulfil your Godfather duties to the best of your ability given your… _condition_. I have an important celebration to attend in commemoration of the fall of the Dark Lord. Glorious day for history this has been indeed!" The man said proudly, recovering some of his composure before stalking out of the nursery, leaving a stunned Remus Lupin in his wake.

_Godfather?_ Remus wondered, his eyes trailing the path to where Fudge's had been fixed. At the end of the baby's crib hovered the child's self-updating medical chart.

Patient: _Baby Black_ (unnamed)

Parents: _Selina Black _(mother – deceased)

_Sirius Black_ (Father – unavailable)

D.O.B:31 October 1981

Time:11: 13pm

Gender: Female  
Eyes: Blue/grey

Hair: Black

Weight:7lbs, 5oz

Length: 52cm

Status: Healthy

Next of Kin: Severus Snape (Maternal Uncle, unavailable)

Godparents: Lily Potter (Deceased)

Remus Lupin (See note)

Special Note:Due to the laws concerning lycanthropy sufferers and the protection of minor children, refer case to Ministry for Family Services to locate suitable guardian. Probable candidature of Decree 214

Remus sighed, a creeping feeling of foreboding eating away at his insides. What good was he as a Godfather if he couldn't protect his cub? He was a Godfather in ceremony only, and that fact alone had him stumped. Had Selina and Sirius overlooked the paperwork they had filled out for the hospital nine months ago or did they really not suspect him to be an agent of Voldemort? So many unanswerable questions swirled in his confused mind; he didn't even hear the Mediwitch's stealthy approach.

"So, have you decided upon a name?" The woman asked briskly.

Remus stared at the woman blankly. She expects me to name Sirius and Selina's baby? Remus mentally slapped himself, '_Well who else is going to do it you great oaf?'_

"Um, err…" Remus' voice trailed off as he racked his mind to the nights spent several months previously discussing names with the expectant parents. "I didn't really see much of the family in the last few months, I – I – I – don't know if they changed their mind or not." He stammered, referring not just to a tentative name they had come up with six months ago, but also the couple's apparent decision to retain him as Godfather.

"Well with all due respects Mr Lupin, the child's parents aren't here to confirm a name, and so whatever you can offer the child will have to suffice." The woman said, trying to be sympathetic.

"Estella. Estella Michelle Lily Selina Black." Remus declared shakily after some thought. His lips rolling over the name, trying the name out, having attempted to anticipate as many of his friend's preferences as possible. '_Missy for short'_ He added to himself, paying homage to Sirius' name for the unborn foetus and saying a silent prayer that all concerned would have approved.

"A wonderful choice." The Mediwitch responded, in a somewhat automated way, as the medical chart changed to accommodate the child's… Estella's… name.

'_No going back now_' Remus mused, nodding.

"Oh and Mr Lupin?" The retreating Mediwitch said, giving Remus a pointed look. "That medical chart is self-updating."

Realisation coursed through him like a reassuring jolt. He _was_ her Godfather.

End Chapter: Murky Waters Ahead


	5. Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!  
Uploaded: 3rd January 2005

**"Black Light" **

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Five: Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold**

_Meanwhile, in Azkaban Prison… _

Two men stood, pacing in their respective cells.

One, a tall and sickly looking man with greasy hair, aristocratic cheekbones and dark eyes, was pacing irritably with an air of feigned arrogance. The longer he stayed in the holding cell, however, the more his step would falter in doubt and insecurity.

_What if Dumbledore couldn't get him out?_ He questioned over and over, each syllable accentuated with a frantic step. Shaking himself mentally, he assured himself that his doubts were just a result of the Dementors getting to him and so he concentrated on occluding his mind.

Inwardly, Severus Snape cursed the Aurors for indirectly assisting in the Dark Lord's work.

'_How ironic_' his narky mind thought. That he be arrested before he could alert the Order that Peter Pettigrew was the Potter's Secret Keeper ('_Damn blind trusting Gryffindor fools!'_ he scoffed) and an attack was planned. Of course, had he thought the Potters would be fool enough to use anyone but that mangy mutt of a brother-in-law of his to be their damned Secret Keeper he would have dropped the hint that everything within their tight knit little circle was not all that it seemed. Of course he couldn't give away too much for risk of blowing his cover. Couldn't very well let that rat Pettigrew know how the Potter's found him out now could he?

The death of James Potter was of little incident to him. Lily, well, as a friend to his sister, her untimely demise was a pity ('_But serves her right for marrying a arrogant ass like Potter_!'). As for that brat child that they spawned, Severus dreaded the effects such fame would have on an already arrogant bloodline. At least the Dark Lord would be off his case for a while. Reports say that the brat killed him, (_How in Merlin…_) but Severus knew better. He would be back. They _always_ come back.

In the meantime, his main objective was to get off of this blasted island and as far away from those sadistic soul-sucking monsters as possible. As the night wore on into the beginnings of dawn, Severus knew his mental defences would not withstand much more of the Dementor's persistent cold probing.

A gleeful look threatened to escape onto his normally stone faced features as he replayed a comment relayed by a custodial Auror earlier.

"The games up, Snape! Your Master is as good as dead, and we nabbed that insane brother-in-law of yours too! He will pay for betraying James and Lily Potter. Mark my words Snape, you two will rot in here together!"

'_So. The Wizarding world believed Sirius Black to be the Potter's Secret Keeper and betrayer?'_ He mused, quirking an eyebrow.

Who was he to argue?

Revenge, they say, really was a dish best served cold.

End Chapter: Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold


	6. Breaking Point

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!  
Uploaded: 3rd January 2005

**"Black Light"**

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Six: Breaking Point **

In another, less hospitable (if you could believe that) part of the prison, a man paced, mind awash with emotion. 

"James! Lily! No!" He cried, the Dementors replaying the memories of what he had uncovered in the ruins of his friend's home earlier that night.

"My fault… my fault" He sobbed.

Sinking further and further into despair and insanity, Sirius began to hallucinate. He remembered Hagrid taking Harry from him and instructing him that the child was to be taken to Dumbledore. Given his incarceration and the hospitalisation of Harry's Godmother, Alice Longbottom, he knew the old man would have no choice but to place the toddler with his Muggle relatives.

Fighting back tears, Sirius fought against an invisible barrier as he saw in his mind's eye, Dumbledore abandoning his Godson in the worst situation possible. Lily's sister… Sirius remembered her well. Even as a teenager, the stone-faced cow of a woman made his blood curdle. He could take her on any day, but to think of sweet innocent Harry in her care and the viscous, malevolent things she would do to the child's impressionable body and mind made his blood boil.

"No!" he cried out in despair.

The images of Harry being left defenceless on the doorstep of his close-minded and ignorant Muggle relatives merged to reveal his beloved wife, and their unborn daughter. A daughter who will never see him, both staring at him with cold, hating eyes. They all hate him. They all think he did it.

"Oh Gods! Sussy… Missy… I didn't…."

His manic ramblings were interrupted by a sharp tapping of wand to bars.

"Tisk Tisk Black, bit late now to go for a insanity defence." The Auror sneered maliciously at the broken man before him and spat at his feet. "You don't deserve to be the Godfather to the saviour of the Wizarding World. For Shame!"

Sirius lunged fruitlessly at the bars, only serving to injure himself on the unforgiving cold steel as the Auror took a step back, taunting him,

"Ah, there's that infamous Black temper! What, so Pettigrew ticked you off when he exposed you for the fraud you are that you just had to blow him up, hey?" The Auror jibed.

Sirius schooled his features and struggled to retain control of himself. Seeing no reaction, the Auror grinned malevolently and conjured something in his hand, which he then tossed to Sirius, whose Quidditch-honed reflexes caught automatically; revealing a… cigar?

Casting a puzzled look at the Auror, the Auror smiled falsely and said mockingly. "Congratulations, it's a girl."

Sirius' face lit up. Then fell again in suspicion.

"Oh yes, don't you worry Sirius. You'll likely be seeing plenty of your little murdering bitch when she gets packed off to the Asylum tomorrow. Honestly, what idiot makes a _werewolf_ Godfather?"

Sirius was astonished. What did he mean his daughter was being sent to the Asylum? What about being a murderer? And how did he know Remus was Godfather? A sick feeling of dread began to rise in his gut. _'No…'_

"That's right Black, you heard me. Seems daughter dearest is following in Daddy's footsteps. Giving birth to your evil little spawn went and made that wretched wife of yours bleed out. God-awful mess it was. Some stains just don't come out!" The Auror taunted before stalking off, his mission complete.

Sirius slumped to the floor, the wind taken out of him. His wife, his beautiful, beautiful wife: dead. His daughter will never know her mother's love for her, doomed to rot alongside him on this hell of an island. Yet he would likely never set his eyes upon her. He didn't even so much as know her name.

Or even if she had one.

Curling into the foetal position against the furthermost corner of the cell, Sirius blended into the shadows and transformed into his animagus form.

'_Innocent. I'm innocent.'_ He repeated to himself over and over like a mantra, tears coursing down his short face. _'One day they will see it. One day I will be set free. Missy I promise you, love. Daddy's coming… Daddy's coming…'_

As Sirius entered the realm between sleep and wake, he could have sworn he heard his daughter's cries.

End Chapter: Breaking Point


	7. Goodbye is so Hard to do

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!  
Uploaded: 6th January 2005

**"Black Light"**

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Seven: Goodbye is so hard to do. **

"Just five more minutes, please!" Remus pleaded with the Azkaban Mediwitch before him, holding baby Estella close to his chest, the rapid beating of his aching heart soothing her slumber.

"Mr Lupin. I have been gracious enough to grant you lenience, but we have been bartering this exchange for close to half an hour. Now, I really must insist that you hand over the child, else I summon Aurors to arrest you for obstruction." The stout, muscly woman grimaced dutifully at the distraught werewolf.

Remus unashamedly allowed the tears to flow as he leant over the infant in his arms and kissed her tenderly on her forehead, her cheeks, her chin, her nose… and in fact on every exposed, vulnerable piece of flesh on her body as though to will, by sheer love and force alone, a protective shield around the child. His tears wet her face, while hergreying eyes – her fathomless, innocent eyes that were so devoid of the mirth and mischief of her father - stared up at him with foolish trust and an impossibly aged clarity, the melanin already starting to determine the iris' hue. "Goodbye my Angel, M-moony is sorry they wouldn't let him keep you."

He sobbed, the emotion of the past 24 hours pouring free. "Don't forget that your Mother loved you. Aunt Lily and Uncle James would have loved you too, and Harry will love to meet you at last! I-I'm sure Uncle _Snivellus _loves you too, though I wouldn't call him that to his face if you want to live to see Hogwarts!" He let out a strangled nervous laugh. "God I hope you live to see Hogwarts. You'll love it there Angel, just you wait! If your Daddy isn't out to teach you how to fly, I promise I will. Gods how your Daddy loves you _Missy_. Don't forget how much love you are surrounded with. May you remember and be protected, sweet child."

The Mediwitch, by this stage, was becoming increasingly exasperated. "Honestly, Mr Lupin, you're making it sound like the child is being sacrificed to the eternal suffering of purgatory!" She admonished.

"Well, isn't she?" Remus shot her a cold hard look, before placing one last chaise kiss on Estella's brow and handing her over before he lost all nerve. "Now, just take her and go before I change my mind and hex you into your next lifetime!"

The moment Estella left the sanctuary of Remus' embrace, the tiny infant started to scream. A blood curdling, terrified, full-bodied scream that, if Remus didn't know any better, he would have thought the poor child was under the throes of an unforgivable. Weighed down in his shoes by the lump in his throat that was threatening to choke him, Remus watched helplessly as the Black child was carried away to an ominous fate.

Swallowing back the lump, Remus' heart broke, the last shreds of his resolve crumbling. Never before had he loathed his Lycanthropy so much. It was his fault she was going to that awful place. _His fault. _His whole live was forfeit. He'd lost _everything_.

"Selina, I'm sorry. I failed you." Remus whispered under his breath. Self-loathing setting in as he abruptly left the nursery – and the hospital – and headed towards the nearest pub.

He needed a drink.

Meanwhile, at Azkaban, Sirius Black was stirring. He had dreamt that his child was in danger and he couldn't reach her. She had been screaming so much. Then, the dream had shifted and his child was lost at sea. The wail of his daughter's cries was replaced by the deathly silence of the ocean. His child couldn't call for him, and yet as much as he wanted to help, he couldn't call out to her because he _didn't know her name_.

As Sirius began to stir even more, the crying was back. In his last moments of his dream, he was relieved that he had some point of reference from which to find his daughter. But it was with a violent start that he realised that he was no longer dreaming.

His daughter _was_ screaming.

End Chapter: Goodbye is so hard to do


	8. From the Cauldron to the Flame

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!  
Uploaded: 8th January 2005

**"Black Light"**

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Eight: From the Cauldron to the Flame. **

_Several months later. _

"Severus, my dear boy, I'm so sorry it took us this long." The wise old Wizard kept vigil at the bedside of a released Severus Snape, the omnipresent twinkle in his eye disturbingly absent.

Severus stirred; his emaciated form dishevelled and exhausted from months of fractured sleep and mental breakdown. Any who knew of the proud, menacing mask he put on in his former life would not have recognised the broken wreck of the man shivering on the bed. It broke Albus' heart to see the unsung hero of the war effort _rewarded _in such a way. The man only hoped that the dear boy could forgive him.

"W-water." A once silky voice, now coarse and broken from misuse, croaked almost inaudibly as his clouded onyx eyes flew open.

"Welcome back to us Severus." The old man mused, stroking the younger man's matted black hair out of his face and cradling the his neck effortlessly to bring a conjured glass of water to the man's cracked lips. "Hush now, you're safe."

Severus drank greedily, and then sunk back into the pillows of the infirmary bed, falling back into deep slumber.

* * *

_A Further week or so later _

Severus was now all but completely recovered. Physically speaking at least. The man in question swung his legs over the side of the bed and flexed his muscles experimentally. He had to get out of this place.

When he had finally come to and met the worried, sleep-deprived eyes of his colleague and mentor, the initial anger had overwhelmed him. Four months. Four months he had been left in _there_, to think he was abandoned and left to die. Another week or so and the unforgiving environment of Azkaban would have driven him insane to the point of no return. Why did it take them so long to extricate him from his captivity?

Severus had half a Slytherin mind not to forgive the Order for its inadequate attempts to save him. He supposed bitterly that it was their way of punishing him for not warning their golden boy Potter in time. The hypocrites. If it had not been for the Griffyndorish do-good mentality of those blasted inept Aurors that arrested him in the first place, he would have damn well had ample time to save their precious golden boy and prove his worth as a spy. His intentions had been good, and yet they let him rot in Azkaban for over FOUR MONTHS. Severus was sure had it been a saintly Gryffindor or Hufflepuff in his place, the Order would have gone to insurmountable lengths to bust him out. Legal channels or no.

He'd had full intentions to direct the full extent of his wrath at the Headmaster, but one look at the old man's face made him decide against it. Never before had Severus fully appreciated just how old and vulnerable Dumbledore truly was. The look on the elder man's face belied his age like no other emotion could. His once twinkling blue eyes were hazed over in concern. Concern for him. He realised with stark clarity that Dumbledore was only human; and it appeared that the old man had in fact done everything in his power to secure a favourable fate for Severus.

"It's all right, Albus. You did everything you could." Severus had forced himself to say, quashing his inner demons to ease the old man's conscience.

That was two days ago. The malevolent twinkle had since returned to the old man's eye, and Severus took to occluding his mind at night to ward off his dreams. Today, as he pulled himself from his crib in the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts, he was leaving no matter what the nurse said. The news of his sister's untimely death was still resonating in his ears from when Albus had broken it to him the night before. The rush of adrenalin that flowed through his body at the news that there was still a Snape in captivity fuelled his protesting body as he set his mind about leaving the confines of the infirmary once and for all.

'_She's as much a Black as she is a Snape_' A jeering voice – Black's voice – echoed in his mind as he moved in haste to rescue his niece from the clutches of that terrible place. Snape fought off the resentment that bubbled just beneath the surface.

'_She's all I have left of Selina'_ He reminded himself, striding out of the room, his closely guarded love for his family driving him to return to the one place that haunted his dreams.

* * *

"I don't care what the blasted piece of paper says you infernal wretch of a woman! I want my niece, and I want her now!" Severus demanded hotly. 

"But Mr Snape…"

"_Professor_!" He corrected, in a soft, threatening tone that would send the bravest of Gryffindors retreating to the sanctuary of their tower.

"_Professor_ Snape…" The woman shakily continued. "The Ministry of Family Services was under the impression that you were not yet fully… recovered. I really must insist that you leave and return with the appropriate paperwork filled out by your Healer stating that you are capable of taking on the _special needs_ of a infant!" She rushed out, brandishing departmental policy papers in his face.

"Seriously woman, if you know what's good for you, you will get the hell out of my way!" Severus warned, taking a step closer to the woman, towering over her prone form, wand drawn and sneer firmly in place. "I may have been excused of all charges, but you are forgetting that I was accused of." He added in harsh undertones, his onyx eyes glinting in anticipation.

The woman took in a startled breath and pressed herself further into the wall Severus had her backed against.

"Don't – tempt – me - woman!" He growled, accentuating each word with a jab of his wand into the woman's breastbone.

The woman, considering her options, folded. Warily, she brushed his wand aside and said briskly. "Come with me."

Severus sheafed his wand back in his sleeve, the familiar weight pressing into his arm like a reassuring shield as he quashed down the returning emotions that being back in Azkaban drove from him. Schooling his face into his usual impassive mask, he followed on the heel of the woman's scurrying footsteps.

"Wait here." She said shortly, indicating to a rickety wooden chair that surely would have seen better days in a place like the _shrieking shack_. "She won't be ready."

Severus narrowed his eyes at the retreating back of the annoying woman. What did she mean that the child '_wasn't ready_'?

'_What, precisely, were they rushing to cover up?' _He wondered. Severus wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know, as he busied himself transfiguring the inferior piece of furniture into a tolerable alternative.

In what felt like hours in the dank outer walls of the Azkaban penal settlement, but was in actuality a few minutes, a woman emerged, hovering a small unmoving bundle in front of her. Severus' eyes flashed dangerously.

"What do you think you are doing, woman?" Severus snapped, leaping from his chair to steady a shaky hand under the abnormally still form of the hovering child's body.

"I'm sorry sir, but it's Azkaban policy not to physically touch the inmates." The woman rattled, as though stating a well-trodden by-line.

Severus shivered, outraged, as the implications that such deprivation of stimulus on an infant meant. "_What?"_ he intoned, his voice rasing up a notch, as he took in his niece's features. _'Inmate, indeed'_ He fumed.

While the child looked well nourished and clean (evidently the work of silly incantations and foolish wand waving, he assumed), the rigid posture and deathly silence of the infant was cause for some concern.

"What… is _wrong_ with her?" He asked gruffly.

The woman, seeing the child cradled in the large capable hands of the frighteningly enraged man before her, lowered her wand and took a step back. "W-w-w-we petrify the _troubled_ cases to give them time to adjust." She stammered quickly, faltering when she saw the murderous expression that escaped onto the man's features. "I-I-it's for their own safety!" She cried, increasing the distance between herself and the incredulous man before her.

Drawing his wand swiftly and silently from his sleeve, Severus glared menacingly at the woman, getting brief satisfaction when he saw the wretch visibly flinch. Averting his eyes to the unfortunate child in his arms, he pointed his wand at the infant and muttered a barely audible "Finite Incantatem" before pocketing his wand and giving the woman one last look.

"Don't think for one minute, that you've heard the last of this." He warned, turning on his heel and storming out of the establishment with a now screaming child sobbing exhaustedly in his robes.

* * *

_Several hours later, in Severus Snape's quarters _

Severus had not moved from his position on his couch since his return from the Island. Estella had taken close to an hour to calm down and readjust to the sensation of human contact. Even though her sobs had since resided, her body was still tense with lingering mistrust and wariness, a sign that she was cursed with the combined legacy of both Snape and Black stubbornness.

Severus smirked as he recognised the inherent family trait.

'_There's was no questioning this was Selina's child_' he sighed, his heart longing. Estella's face mirrored the beautiful features of his sister's grace.

Oh how he had envied his sister's nose as they were growing up. Now it appeared that the unwarranted recessive trait began and ended with him. Tweaking his niece's cute button nose playfully, he allowed himself a rare smile. "Be thankful little miss, that you didn't inherit your Uncle Sev's nose!" he whispered to the dozing infant, in a foreign, caring tone.

Estella reacted to the stimulation, her palegrey eyes fluttering open in shock.

'_Black's eyes_' His heart froze.

Staring back at him was a contrast of conflicting anarchisms. The beloved face of his sister, mixed with the subtle blend of that blasted Black's unwanted influence to the gene pool: his eyes haunting him on his sister's face, reminding him of all that he took away from him and all that he tried to do to him. Black, who had played that foolish prank that almost got him killed and then got away with it. Black, whose eyes jeered victoriously with smug satisfaction as he bewitched Selina's heart and drove a wedge between the last of the Snape line. Black, who taunted him in his dreams, his actions indirectly killing the one confidante in Severus' life.

With his black eyes hardening into an icy stare, he continued to look into the eyes of his innocent niece.

'_Innocent?'_ a benevolent little voice in his subconscious scoffed, reminding him that his sister would be alive if not for this child's birth. _'She'll be just like her father, just you watch_' the taunting voice continued, warning him.

Clearly not of sound mind, Severus Snape glared coldly at his niece and closed his heart to her. He would not take the risk, he resolved. Out of duty for his sister he would see to the child's incidental needs, but he would not become a _father_ to her. There was too much Black in her to convince him that he would ever have anything to gain from it except for pain and weakness.

Let that useless excuse of a Godfather play _Daddy_. He thought, sneering, moving to place his burden in its crib. Disturbed by the sudden movement, Estella screwed her face up and began to sob.

"Damn it!" Severus muttered under his breath. Regardless of his cold, unaffectionate resolve, he still couldn't stand to see the child distressed. On some obscure level – though he would never admit it to himself - he loved the child no matter who its father was.

"I'm sorry Estella, your father deserves to rot in hell." He stated, mind awash with conflicting disarray as he assured himself more than anything. "One day you will thank me from sparing you from his _influence_."

_After all, at the end of the day, she was still Selina's child; and Severus was not about to permit another Snape to fall victim to a Black's charm. _

End Chapter: From the Cauldron to the Flame


	9. Liberation

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!  
Uploaded: 18th January 2005

**"Black Light"**

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Nine: Liberation.**

The last few months since the death of his friends and the removal of his Goddaughter hadn't treated Remus very kindly. Asides from his monthly moonlight sojourns in the shrieking shack, Remus spent most of his time drinking and wallowing in self-pity. It was well documented that the consumption of alcohol any later than 24 hours prior to a transformation would result in the change being increasingly painful and all together hazardous, but Remus wore the risk like a gift. He welcomed the amplified pain and, when it consumed him, found comfort in the possibility that he may not wake up.

As the screams of his goddaughter echoed in his every waking thought, so too did the manner of his friend's deaths and their assumed disappointment in him plague his dreams. As a result he stopped eating and the only time he ever slept was when he was rendered unconscious by drunken stupor. Due to a lack in hygienic routine, his normally clean yet threadbare appearance and wiry frame became all the more indigent looking and emaciated. Remus was steadfastly becoming a shadow of his former self.

In a cruel twist, he hadn't even been allowed to visit Estella in her captivity. All parties unrelated to a Ward of the Ministry – regardless of being nominated as guardian by the parents in good faith or not – had to pass an impossible criteria. Remus had neither the mandated written consent from a surviving adult blood relative nor was he able to source reputable character references from upstanding members of magical society. All of the people that would have been able to assist him in those fields were dead. Even Dumbledore could be of no help. His position of power on the Wizegamot and on the Hogwarts staff rendered him incapable of subjecting an opinion on such matters without running the risks of unduly influencing the overall decision; and thus he was excluded from making a reference. Not that the man would have even consented to giving a favourable recommendation of the man in his present state – no one would have.

But now, Remus Lupin was on a mission. A brief fire call from Dumbledore and a few hastily cast self-cleansing charms later and he was flooing to Hogwarts. Estella had been released from the hell he had so foolishly sought to recreate in his own life. As he threw down the floo powder and stepped into the harmless flames he vowed never again to lose control of his resolve and brood. He would be damned if he would let his self pity get in the way of doing what was best for Estella. That child deserved better than him, he knew, but from that moment on he swore to Selina's memory that he would try his damnedest to make the most of the second chance he had just been given. Severus had been granted provisional custody of Estella, and Remus knew that although the two men had their differences, the man was going to need all the help he could get in raising the child.

"Ah Remus, such enthusiasm!" Albus Dumbledore smiled, eyes twinkling, as he barely made it out of the hearth and the path of Remus' ungraceful entrance.

"Where is she? Can I see her? Is she all right?" Remus cried, getting to his feet and grasping the older wizard gently, but firmly, by the arms.

The old man sighed and pulled a lemon drop out of his pocket, offering one to the fraught man in front of him in what was clearly a delaying tactic. "Are you quite sure you don't care to sit down and join an old man for a spot of tea?" He asked needlessly, already knowing the answer. "You're looking a little under the weather."

Remus let go of the older wizard and ran a shaky hand through his hair. "Professor, I really don't have time for this!" he said, exasperatedly.

Albus locked eyes with the wild-eyed youth before him and nodded softly. "Please call me Albus, Remus, I am not your headmaster anymore."

Remus nodded, "Fine, _Albus_. Now, where is my _Goddaughter_?"

"I do believe she is currently with her Uncle in his quarters." He stated. "Estella, such a wonderful choice Remus. Sirius and Selina would have been proud, mmm?"

Remus ignored the last part of Dumbledore's comment as his feet were already out the door as soon as he'd said 'Uncle'. Finally, Estella was safe, and he would hopefully be permitted to see her.

End Chapter: Liberation


	10. Confrontations

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!  
Uploaded: 18th January 2005

**"Black Light" **

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Ten: Confrontations **

"You've been drinking, Lupin." The voice at the door declared, nose sniffing loudly, disapproving at the stale stench of alcohol still permeating from his tattered robes.

Sometimes Remus wondered whether or not there was more to Severus Snape than he let on.

"Oh come on Severus, what would you have done?" Remus said gruffly, neither denying nor defending his actions. "Can I come in, or not?"

"If it was my choice, I would prefer you _not_." Snape was blunt in letting his distaste for the werewolf be known. Had Remus had a galleon, he would have bet the man was sneering as he had said it. "However…" the voice continued, recapturing Remus' attention. "Given the circumstances, I suppose you'd better come in."

With that, the heavy gilded portrait swung to grant Remus entrance. Hesitantly stepping over the threshold, Remus jumped as the door swung shut behind him. Taking in his surroundings he sought Snape out, only to be completely and utterly taken aback when he saw him bent over a small, wriggling figure as he struggled to change the infant's nappy… _the Muggle way_!

Inwardly chuckling at the picture, Remus furrowed his brow as he glanced between the clearly occupied individual before him, to the solid oak door, and back again. Straightening his back for a moment and clearing his throat, Snape voiced the answer to Remus' unasked question.

"A simple sensory charm woven into the wards, Lupin. Surely I need not explain its application in home security?" He said, without turning to face Remus' shocked expression.

Recovering, Remus scoffed and gestured towards the baby on the table. "And I suppose you have never heard of a simple _Scourigify_ and its applications in efficient child rearing!" he muttered under his breath.

Hearing the hushed outburst from his reluctant houseguest, Severus' back stiffened, and he hastened his efforts to clean up the child. Satisfied that he had done so, he gathered Estella in his arms, and with nothing less than a purposeful step, spun around to stand toe to toe with the last of the Marauders.

"Don't mock me, Lupin. I know full well the alternatives." He growled warningly, yet softly enough so as to not startle the baby in his arms. Then his voice dropping even lower, he added forlornly. "They did not permit the wards of Azkaban to be _touched_, Lupin."

Wide eyes stared at him in shock as the ramifications of his little revelation spoke volumes of the depravation inflicted upon the object of their mutual interests. Remus' face fell.

"I-I-I'm sorry, Severus. I didn't realise." He stammered, forcing out the apology.

Severus brushed it off with the wave of his hand. "It's not important." He said dismissively. "Drink?"

Remus nodded, shakily. "I suppose we have a fair bit to discuss…" he said, sinking into a seat on Severus' couch and making himself comfortable.

"Indeed." Severus intoned as he, without warning, swooped down and deposited the alert child in Remus' lap before disappearing into the lab.

Remus, slowly emerging from his shock, wrapped his arms tightly around the content child. '_My how you've grown'_ He thought to himself, though he doubted if the child would be as small had she been with a loving family. Shifting lightly in his seat and elevating his feet up to rest on the edge of the ottoman in front of him, Remus lifted up the child and repositioned her on his raised knees so that she was facing him and he could get a good look.

"So much like your parents, Missy. More than you will ever know." He said, becoming increasingly choked with emotion.

Pulling out a familiar black dog from his robes, he reunited Estella with _Snuffles_, the Padfoot-replica soft toy that Sirius had conjured for his wife the moment he had found out she was expecting. "Here, Missy, this is something that your Mummy wanted you to have. I kept it safe for you." He said, waving the dog in front of the child's eyes, until he could have sworn he could see the same mischievous mirth flash in them, that her father before her had continuously held.

"You know who this represents, don't you Missy?" Remus mused, wistfully. "I bet deep down you remember me too, don't you cub?" He continued, searching for recognition in the sparkling pools ofgrey before him.

"What do you mean, 'remember you'? Lupin?" Severus' shadow suddenly loomed over Remus' shoulder.

"Just what I said, Severus." Remus replied softly. "I was there."

Thoughts flooded Severus' mind. "Impossible." He scoffed. "Estella was taken directly to Azkaban for processing upon Selina's death. I saw the report!"

Remus sat up straight and shifted Estella into a more comfortable position on his lap. "Sit down Severus. There's a lot you don't know about what went on that night."

Severus stalked around the edge of the couch, and handed Remus a glass of a dark, thick substance.

"A sobering potion." He said dismissively at Remus' questioning look, as he put down his own glass of fire whiskey and perched himself in a armchair across from Remus, steepling his fingers and staring at Remus in anticipation.

"Well?" He prompted, returning to the point.

"I don't presume to know why the report you read said what you say it said, Severus, but I do assure you that I was there that night." Remus began, his face grimacing as he took a sip of the offending substance. "The hospital called me when Selina was admitted."

Severus gasped. "You… you… _were with_ Selina?"

Remus nodded, wordlessly.

Severus shook his head. "Impossible. Only family…"

Remus broke him off. "I forced my way in, Severus." He snapped, then added softly. "She didn't have anyone else."

Severus pulled out his wand, summoning his pensieve. "Show me." He said. It was not a question.

Remus shifted the baby on his lap, and pulled out his wand to comply.

End Chapter: Confrontations


	11. Revelations

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!  
Uploaded: 24th January 2005

**"Black Light" **

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Eleven: Revelations **

Snape slumped back in his chair, the werewolf's finely tuned memories of his sister's final moments eliciting a exhaustive rush of emotion from him. There were so many things he had gotten wrong about what had happened that night. The assumption that his sister had lived long enough to at least name her child, to hold her, being one of them.

While the revelation that Selina didn't die alone brought with it some measure of comfort, the creeping insecurity of inadequacy - that he had failed to be there for his sister - overwhelmed him with jealousy. Where Severus had failed his sister in his duties as a brother, the man before him had risen to the occasion. Did his sister even acknowledge that he would have not hesitated to do all that for her if he had half the chance?

Swallowing his pride – for what felt like the first time in his life – Severus pushed his emotions aside and looked Remus Lupin square in the eye.

"T-t-thank… Thank you." He said softly, not needing to convey anything more.

Remus nodded solemnly, words escaping him.

Their mutual silence was broken only by the sound of the two men nervously gulping at their drinks and the dozing snore of a contented 5 month old.

After a few moments of companionable silence, Severus set his glass down heavily and exchanged looks between the sleeping infant and the werewolf who, in a unguarded moment, was staring down at the charge in his arms with emotion written all over his face.

"You love her, don't you Lupin." Severus said softly, shared recollections of the wolf's traumatic separation from his Goddaughter flashing through the forefront of his mind.

Remus raised his head and nodded his head pointedly. "Yes I do, I'm not afraid to admit it." He said proudly, before giving Severus a dead serious look and adding in a warning tone. "So help me Severus, you better treat her right. I'll be watching."

Severus felt his defences rise, but pushed back his distaste before matching his guest's serious tone. "I'll be counting on it." He said, sighing inwardly at his own shortcomings.

And from that day on, an unspoken truce was formed.

End Chapter: Revelations


	12. Keeping up is hard to do

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!  
Uploaded: 24th January 2005

**"Black Light"**

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Twelve: Keeping Up is Hard to Do.**

Taking care of an infant was hard. Much harder than Severus could ever have imagined. Estella was not a happy child, for she had yet to recover from the neglect and mistreatment she had suffered at the Asylum. Her cries echoed constantly throughout the small dungeon rooms Severus once considered his sanctuary. Even when he could get the child to settle her sadness haunted him still.

Severus, above all else, hated his niece's crying. Not only because it disrupted his sleep and made his life disorganised, but because hearing the child's distraught wailing threatened to tear down the walls he had erected so carefully around his conscience. Estella's cries were his one weakness, the one thing that would break his resolve, and yet he battled with himself everyday not to give in.

'_If I bring him back I will lose her forever!'_ He justified to himself, over and over, convinced that should he testify to the innocence of his brother-in-law he would lose his niece and she would be raised to hate him. Never mind if he would actually live to see that happen for should he testify and reveal his status as a spy he would be a marked man.

Yet, at any one of many unguarded moments, the sleep deprived potions master would convince himself that his niece's inconsolable sadness was his fault. That the child was crying for a parent Severus was knowingly depriving her the freedom of knowing. Had anyone asked him three months earlier if he would feel guilty for not coming to the rescue of Sirius Black, he would have unceremoniously laughed in their faces and yet here he was, looking into the despondent eyes of his nearly eight-month-old niece feeling what could only be described as guilt.

"Albus!" Severus cried as he fought to settle the red-faced, squirming child in his lap, "I cannot stop her from crying!"

Albus looked over his desk at the pale young man across from him holding the distressed child, taking in their dishevelled and tired appearances. "Severus, my poor boy, have you taken her to see Poppy?"

Severus nodded his head furiously and scowled. "Of course I have, Albus! She said there was nothing _physically_ wrong with the child!" He snapped.

Albus removed his half-moon shaped spectacles and proceeded to clean them on a corner of his robes while he stared off into the distance in thought. "Perhaps the child is haunted by her stay in Azkaban." He said simply.

Severus shook his head in disbelief. "I've done everything in my power to counter the effects of her stay in that… that… _place_!" He said, practically spitting out his reference to Azkaban. "What else can I do?"

"Perhaps if you explained what you mean by that I can be better placed to offer advice?" Albus said thoughtfully.

"Well, first and foremost I make a point of ensuring maximum contact with Estella and engage with her as much as possible throughout the day." Severus started. "I read in a book on childhood developmental psychology that children who have been through a traumatic experience require this kind of attention and reassurance."

Albus nodded his head. "Continue, my dear boy."

"From what I saw of her time in _that place_, she was cared for magically and without any human interaction, so I try not to do anything that would remind her of that." Severus faltered.

"So I am to understand you do not refer to _Mothering Magically Manual_ for parenting advice then?" Albus queried.

Severus spluttered. "Of course not! _They_," he spat, "kept _my_ niece petrified and under silencio twenty four hours a day and saw to her every need from the distance of their wands! So of course I am doing everything the _muggle_ way Albus! Wouldn't you do the same?"

Albus shook his head sadly, the twinkle in his eyes fading when he looked upon the innocent child before him as he tried to fathom the wrongs she had endured. "Severus, no wonder you are both so exhausted and inconsolable!" He paused, then sighed. "Tell me, dear boy, do you feel stressed? Or anxious? Is there something else on your mind that you would like to talk about?"

Severus scoffed. "No, I feel just _peachy_ Albus!" He said sarcastically. "How do you think I would feel having an inconsolable child on my hands when I have had next to no sleep? Of course I am stressed!"

Albus nodded, the all-knowing twinkle once again sparkling in his eyes. "You do realise children are very receptive of the emotions of their caregivers? I suspect that little Estella is reacting to your emotions."

Severus shook his head. "Impossible! I am a master Occlumens! Voldemort could never even…"

"Severus." Albus interrupted, raising his hand. "I assure you Children are much more perceptive." He said, looking down at the miserable child before him. "Besides, you yourself have just endured a most harrowing experience. I would not be surprised if your skills as a occlumens have been temporarily exhausted."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "Well I guess there's no Dark Lord around for me to test that theory!" He said tiredly, "though I will concede that I have not been feeling quite like my old self since my return."

Albus smiled. "I am sure with time you will heal and return to your full potential, Severus." The old man said encouragingly. "However I fear your rather more intensive methods of meeting your niece's needs is hindering both your progress."

"Indeed." Severus sighed, admitting the old man had a point,

"Indeed!" Albus said happily. "Now may I make my suggestion?"

Severus nodded urgently as he subconsciously hummed to Estella and rubbed her back, surprising himself when he successfully ended her sobs.

"I suggest that you read the _Manual_. You will be surprised at what it has to offer." The old wizard stated, then, waving his hand when he noticed Severus opening his mouth to object, he continued. "Whilst I do not deny that the methods employed by those at the Asylum are a very literal and damaging interpretation of what magical methods have to offer in child rearing, if used in moderation its techniques really are in the best interest of parent and child."

Severus shook his head. "But I don't want to remind her!"

Albus looked at his colleague gravely. "I know it is not you desire to do so, but look at yourself Severus. You are not coping. Either or both of you will get sick if things continue along this path. There has to be a compromise!"

Severus sighed in defeat. "What do you suggest I do then?"

"Reintroduce Estella to magic slowly." Albus started. "Make it fun. Conjure toys and colour to surprise her, then start using light charms to assist you in the tasks you cannot handle. The main issue here is to ensure Estella sees magic in a positive light. She will, after all have to confront it sooner or later if she is ever going to become a student. Allow me to demonstrate." Albus said. "Pay particular attention to Estella's body language when I take out my wand."

At this, the elderly wizard removed his wand from his robe and pointed it at the infant who visibly tensed in her Uncle's lap.

"Albus, this is what I wanted to avoid!" Severus growled softly as he rubbed his niece's back soothingly in an effort to reassure her.

"Patience, dear boy!" Albus said, then, with a flourish of his wand, conjured a colourful round ball that shot out of his wand and bounced lazily towards Estella.

Estella, in turn, relaxed in her Uncle's arms and reached out curiously for the ball while Severus watched on in amazement.

"You see, dear boy," Albus said cheerfully, tucking his wand away. "With frequent assurances combined with a more welcome use of magic, you will feel increasingly capable and Estella will thrive."

Severus nodded, his face visibly lined with relief. "Thank you Albus, I do believe I will take that under advisement."

Albus nodded in acknowledgement as the younger wizard bundled the now contented child in his arms and made to take his leave. "Oh and Severus," he called after the younger wizard. "I have taken the liberty to assign you a personal House Elf to assist you with the child."

Spinning around at a dizzying pace, Severus took a step back towards the headmaster's desk. "While I appreciate the gesture, Albus" he said between gritted teeth, "such measures are hardly necessary."

The older man smiled serenely and nodded. "Nevertheless Severus, Lena will remain in your exclusive service shall you ever need her assistance. She previously serviced the Hufflepuff first years, I assure you she is loyal." Albus stared down Severus' icy glare with his twinkling eyes. "And I daresay you will need the assistance once you resume teaching classes in September."

Anyone would have thought Severus Snape had accidentally ingested one of the headmaster's infamous lemon drops on account of the face he made. "Very well, headmaster," he said reluctantly. "Thank you for your consideration."

"Not a problem, my dear boy." Albus said in acknowledgement. "It was the least I could do to ensure Hogwarts got its potions master back."

"Indeed." Severus said flatly, a part of his subconscious wondering if the sorting hat had ever considered placing the old man before him in Slytherin. "Now if you would pardon my leave, Albus, it is time for my niece to have her nap."

Albus nodded knowingly as the younger man turned on his heel and bundled the increasingly drowsy child out of his office. Returning to his paperwork, the old man cast a look at his phoenix and smiled. "Well Fawkes," he said, "it seems young Severus has met his match."

The next few years at Hogwarts would prove to be rather interesting indeed.

End Chapter: Keeping Up is Hard to Do


	13. Black is not a colour

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!  
Uploaded: 24th January 2005

**"Black Light" **

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Thirteen: Black is not a colour.**

"Black!" The obstinate child stabbed a chocolate stained, chubby little finger defiantly at the offending sample of material Madame Malkin's had on display.

Severus sighed, inwardly cursing the devil who suggested that it was even possible to reason with a three year old. They had been deliberating to no avail in Madame Malkin's for close to half an hour, and people were starting to stare.

It was not very often that Severus took his niece outside of Hogwarts' extensive grounds. When he did venture forth, they frequented the comparatively smaller and less populated attractions of Hogsmeade, coming to Diagon Alley only on the rare occasion. Now, Severus was steadfastly reminded as to _why _that was.

As Estella grew, Severus was becoming increasingly aware of his niece's changing needs. The large array of clothing that had been found in the nursery at Selina and Sirius' home and the ceremonious bequests from amongst his colleagues in the Hogwarts Staff had been more than efficient to keep Estella adequately clothed, but now the child required attire that could not just be re-spelled to fit; but also catered to her increasing mobility and independence.

It was thus with much consternation and regret that Severus forced himself to 'let go' of the clothes his sister had lovingly collected for her then unborn child and move on to new unchartered heights. Had it been his choice, however, Severus would have been more than happy to continue to accept the gift of clothes from others and supplemented the selection with a few randomly chosen practical garments from mail order, but no, that damn meddling old fool of a mentor and that sentimental git of a werewolf talked him into including Estella in the selection process. Said something about it being of upmost importance to _'embrace her emerging individuality and nurture her sense of style'_.

'_Sense of style…_' Severus grumbled to himself, '_all she wants to wear is black!'_

"Estella, how many times must I insist that black is very unbecoming on a child of your age!" Severus said tiredly. Just because his niece _was_ still just a toddler, he was not about to insult her intelligence by coddling or cooing at her. Children, after all, developed their vocabulary by example and there was no way Severus was going to tolerate having a ineloquent dunderhead for a niece.

Estella, in turn, tilted her head in consideration of her Uncle's suggestion. "No." She said sternly, shaking her mane of black curls violently. "Black!"

"Estella _Black_!" Severus snapped, his voice in a dangerously low hiss as he stated her surname. "I have had just about enough of your insubordination. I asked you to select a range of colours with which Madame Malkin can tailor your robes and must I remind you yet again that black is _not _a colour!"

Estella's bottom lip quivered into a stubborn pout that matched the fierce – and fearless - determination in her eyes. "Black!" She said softly, this time pointing at the folds in his own robe. "Like you."

Severus eyes widened in surprise. Estella, it seemed, was not only completely fearless, but desired to dress just like himself. Barely suppressing a smirk, he looked at his niece curiously, an unbidden flame dancing in his eyes. "Is it to be my understanding that you wish to dress like me?"

Estella nodded vigorously. "Black. Like you." She said simply.

Severus sighed. "Well that will simply not do!" He said as he crouched down to his niece's level, his Slytherin mind furiously at work. "Little girls only wear black when they are very sad. Are you sad?"

Estella screwed her face up in thought before her bottom lip began to tremble. "Uncle Sev sad!" she sobbed, her little shoulders shaking in Severus' contrastingly large hands.

'_Stinking salamander!_' Severus cursed to himself, looking around hopelessly, astounded at his niece's deductive sense of reasoning.

"If I could make a suggestion?" Madame Malkin, who had long since been waiting patiently to be handed a colour swatch. "Perhaps you can select colours for each other."

Severus glared at the woman, letting go of his niece and rising to his full height. "Thankyou for your suggestion Madame, but I regret to inform you that I do not require new robes at this time." He said between gritted teeth.

"Your niece appears to think that you do." Madame Malkin said quietly, nodding her head towards the child who was now frantically sifting her way through a batch of colours, the tip of her tongue peeking through her pursed lips as she considered her options.

Severus smirked. The woman clearly possessed a Slytherin mind. "Indeed." He said. "For Estella's robes, use whatever colours the child takes a liking to, ensuring the shades are appropriately toned and compliment her features."

Madame Malkin nodded. "And your robe?"

"I trust you will not be offended if you do not see me wear it?" Severus said in a conspiratorial tone.

Madame Malkin winked. "If you prefer I can charm the material so that it appears to everyone except your niece that you are wearing customary black robes." She said in hushed tones.

Severus raised an eyebrow. "I do not believe that will be necessary, Madam." He replied in kind, for he knew his niece was too sharp to not miss the guaranteed reaction his wearing colour would incite amongst his colleagues. "And I assure you that my measurements remain the same from my last order."

Madame Malkin nodded, delighted at making another sale. "Right now dearie," she said loudly, turning her attention to the fossicking child at their feet. "Have you chosen what colours your Uncle's robes should be?"

Estella looked up and nodded wordlessly, thrusting out a fist with the offending selections.

To Severus' pride and amazement, his niece had chosen a rather tasteful range of forest greens, silver threads, black accents and deep aqua tones for him. Nodding at the seamstress at her unasked question, she accepted the colours from the beaming child.

"And do you have a favourite colour for your own robe, child?" Madame Malkin asked finally.

Estella furrowed her brow in thought and hovered her hand over the well worn black swatch until she caught her Uncle's warning glare. Deciding to back down on the issue, she instead triumphantly indicated her intentions towards a rich blood red that was so dark it _looked_ black, a deep magenta that reminded Severus of a hue Selina had favoured in the clothes she had chosen prenatally, and midnight navy that he reasoned would compliment his niece's eyes. Nodding slightly to each colour in turn, Severus gave his assent to the patient robe maker who scurried off to work as soon as she had all the samples.

Deftly picking up his niece in one fluid movement, he positioned the child on his hip and propelled them both out of the store by his long legs towards the Apothecary.

After placing an order for his private potions stores and arranging for it to be delivered to his quarters by express courier owl, Severus and Estella returned to Madame Malkin's Robes for all Occasions to collect Estella's complete new wardrobe.

"Ah, Professor, not a moment too soon!" Madame Malkin greeted them as she hurried over to the counter, her arms full of garment boxes. "Would you be liking to wear a selection of your new robes out of the store today, dearie?" She addressed this question to Estella, who nodded.

"Uncle Sev too." She directed, stabbing her thumb in his general direction as she was lowered from his hip and led into a change room by the store owner.

Severus sighed, pulling the larger of the boxes towards him reluctantly. He had hoped to have gotten away with just being seen wearing _coloured_ robes in the relaxed privacy and sanctuary of his and Estella's private quarters, but for the sake of a peaceful afternoon, who was he to deny his niece this one request? It was not as though the child had assaulted his senses with a flurry of bold fluorescents or Merlin forbid, _Gryffindor_ colours.

And so that is how it came to be. The potions master and his niece walking hand in hand down Diagon Alley towards the flooing point at the Leaky Cauldron, turning heads in their wake. Estella, who was proud as punch, stood tall and smiled widely, while Severus – who had nothing to be ashamed of – kept his head high and his features schooled with his most menacing do-not-mess-with-me scowl and glare combination.

Arriving back in the entrance hall halfway through dinner, the pair entered the Great Hall with a flourish. Proceeding down the room to the Head Table where the holiday staff had stopped their eating to ogle at him, wide eyed. Severus narrowed his glare at the knowing looks his colleagues were exchanging, his mouth falling open in shock when the headmaster raised his glass to the visiting Remus Lupin (who had a infuriatingly mischievous smirk on his face) and said, his infernal eye twinkling away; "Remus, Minerva, I do believe you both won the pool."

End Chapter: Black is not a colour


	14. Covert Ops

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!  
Uploaded: 2nd February 2005

**"Black Light" **

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Fourteen: Covert Ops**

"Severus." Remus Lupin called out softly as the man in question emerged from a darkened room, closing the door softly behind him. "Is she asleep?"

"Before her head even hit the pillow." Severus replied lightly, "whatever did you do with her today?"

Remus frowned. "Severus, we need to talk."

Severus nodded slightly and gestured to the set of armchairs by the fireplace. "I was wondering when this day will come," he said simply. "What does she want to know?"

Remus sighed. "Why she doesn't have parents, for one," he paused. "Why didn't you tell me you don't have any pictures of them, Severus?"

Severus sneered at the man sitting across from him and looked him in the eye. "Of course I have photographs, Lupin!" He snapped.

"Where?" Remus gestured wildly at the room around them. "Come to think of it Severus, I've never seen any around here – and clearly Estella hasn't either!"

"Estella only needs to look in the mirror to see her mother, Lupin." Severus said irritably, waving his wand in a jerking motion to conjure himself a glass and summon his favoured bottle of fire whiskey from its cabinet.

Remus leant back in his chair wearily. "I see," he said. "So this is what this is about."

"Whatever do you mean?" Severus asked dismissively.

"You're afraid that if you answer Estella's questions about Selina she will think to ask about Sirius too." Remus said.

"Don't you say his name in my presence, Lupin." Severus snapped angrily.

"Just as I thought." Remus said, "Severus, regardless of what he did, he is still her father. Whether we like it or not, she will only become more curious."

"She's only five years old." Severus said wistfully. "She's too young to understand."

"So we don't tell her all the details, Severus!" Remus exclaimed, "but we have to tell her something."

"Why?" Severus said defiantly.

"I bumped into Sirius' cousin Andromeda and her husband Ted in Muggle London last week and they informed me that all of their Owls to you requesting to see Estella have been returned unopened! They're her family, too Severus! You're keeping her to yourself and it isn't healthy! What if something happens to you? She needs to know…"

Severus downed his drink and glared at the werewolf. "Andromeda Tonks is the least of my worries, Lupin. You forget who else is in her family! I have had Narcissa Malfoy making similar requests, Lupin, and I am just about out of excuses. If she were to find out I was permitting Estella to associate with her _muggle_-loving sister and not her, what do you think she will think? You forget only too easily Lupin that I am stuck in the role of double-agent in this war. I will not take the risk!"

"Severus, the war is over. Voldemort was defeated…" Lupin pleaded.

Severus snarled angrily and sneered. "If you believe that, you're even more ignorant than I thought! The Dark Lord may be out of action, Lupin, but don't think for one moment that he still doesn't have supporters out there."

Realisation dawned on Remus' face. "Did Dumbledore… the Order… you're still spying?"

Severus looked away and gazed into the fire, a unreadable expression on his face. "My life – and Estella's – would be forfeit if _his_ supporters ever discovered my 'betrayal'. I thought that much was obvious." Severus sighed. "So you see I cannot permit Estella to associate with any of her extended family. Contrary to public perception I do not 'keep her to myself' as you so wantonly put it out of selfish spite."

Remus paled. "Severus… I'm sorry." He said softly. "Merlin, I didn't even realise… why didn't anyone tell me any of this?"

Severus shook his head. "I did not think it needed telling," he said. "Why else do you think I insist on living at Hogwarts year round when I have several estates at my disposal? Why do you suppose I insist Estella is kept in crowded, public places whenever she leaves Hogwarts? Why did you think I would not permit Estella to meet with Andromeda Tonks? I will not risk her life for the sake of family reunions! Honestly Lupin I would have thought you had mind enough to draw the right conclusions!"

Remus narrowed his eyes. "How can I draw the 'right conclusions' when your attitude contradicts your intent?" He said defensively. "You've spent so long being a spy, Severus, that effective communication skills allude you. Now whilst I can now understand the fallacy behind the misconceptions, Andromeda and her family continue to feel as though they are being denied unjustly and don't get me started on what Estella thinks…"

Severus straightened rigidly in his chair and glared. "Oh no, dear _Remus_, feel free to start whenever you like…" He said snidely, his eyebrows raised in expectation.

"She's confused, Severus!" Remus said exasperatedly. "She has so many questions, but she doesn't know who or what to ask! I'm not sure I agree with you yet about it not being safe for Estella to see the Tonks so long as the Malfoys are on the scene, but at the very least, Severus, we need to tell her about her parents. I spent half the afternoon today with Estella in tears because she was convinced her parents didn't want her or love her!"

Severus raised his head in surprise and shook his head slightly. "No," he said. "Why would she think that? Why didn't she come to me?"

"She _did_ come to you Severus!" Remus said exasperatedly, "and do you remember what you said to her? You said she had no parents!"

Severus sighed. Resting his elbow on the arm of his chair he cradled cold glass against his forehead. "It's as good as true," he said defensively. "What do you prefer I say? That her mother died giving birth and her father is a heartless, immoral servant of darkness who didn't spare her a thought before he murdered scores of people and condemned himself to rot in Azkaban?" He asked, more to convince himself that Sirius was as bad as all that than anything else.

Remus narrowed his eyes, his lips set in a thin line. "Now listen here, Severus." He growled. "I know as well as you do what Sirius did to land himself in Azkaban, but I won't deny to Estella that he loved her and Selina in his own way."

"Nonsense, monsters aren't capable of love." Severus snapped.

"You know, five years ago people were saying the same of you?" Remus said matter-of-factly. "Don't be so quick to judge."

"Telling her about them will only confuse her more." Severus replied, choosing to ignore the previous comment.

"So you'd rather go on ignoring that Sirius even existed, mmm?" Remus hissed. "You'd dishonour Selina's memory by raising her daughter to be a stranger to her and the love she had for her father!"

Severus growled defensively and opened his mouth to curse at the errant werewolf, but Remus cut him off.

"No you listen up Severus, and you listen good. I am not finished!" Remus warned. "Get over yourself Severus! So your sister fell in love with someone you didn't approve of! Do you think Selina would appreciate how her daughter thinks her parents didn't love each other or welcome her birth? She wanted that baby more than anything in this world, Severus. Estella deserves to know that!"

Severus inhaled deeply and expelled the breath slowly between his teeth. "Whole lot of good it did for Selina too, don't you think Lupin?" he hissed, mockingly. "She's dead!"

"Who's dead?" A small voice inquired innocently from the shadows of the hallway.

Severus and Remus shared a surprised look, neither of them having noticed her approach.

"No one you know," Severus said dismissively, "why are you up?"

Remus shot Severus a warning look. "Severus…" he warned.

Estella looked between her two 'uncles' curiously. "What's going on?" She asked determinedly, ignoring Severus' question. "Who died?"

Remus opened his arms and welcomed the sleepy looking child onto his lap. "Hush now, Missy, nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about tonight." He said, heeding Severus' wordless glare. "Now what woke you up?"

Estella cast a worried glance at the simmering form of her blood uncle before burying her head in the crook of Remus' shoulder. "I heard angry voices." Was her muffled reply.

"Didn't you cast the silencing wards?" Remus asked accusingly, his voice low so as to not startle Estella.

"Of course I cast the blasted wards!" Severus hissed back. "Something else must have woken her."

Estella turned her head to face her uncle. "I was dreaming of angry voices but then the kind lady told me everything would be alright." She said softly. "At least I think I must have been dreaming, right Uncle Sev, because you wouldn't let a strange lady in my room, would you?"

Severus narrowed his eyes and inclined his head over his shoulder to look at his niece's open bedroom door in question. "Don't let Estella out of your sight, Lupin." He said in response, rising from his chair, his wand drawn. "Estella, if you would excuse me momentarily."

As Severus left the room to investigate Estella's bedroom, the child in question struggled in her Godfather's strong arms. "No uncle Sev, don't hurt her!" she cried, mortified, while Remus struggled to mollify her with soothing tones.

"Here Estella, eat this." Remus cooed conspiratorially, conjuring a piece of chocolate place that he offered to the worked up child. "You'll feel better."

Estella eyed the chocolate hungrily and leant in close to Remus' ear. "But Uncle Sev doesn't let me have treats after I've brushed my teeth!" She exclaimed in hushed tones, so only he would hear.

Remus chuckled, thrusting the chocolate in his goddaughter's surprised mouth. "What your Uncle Sev doesn't know won't hurt him." He winked.

Estella's responding giggle was muffled by a mouthful of chocolate. "Thanks Uncle Remus!" She scoffed.

"Now, now, Missy," Remus scolded mockingly, "it's not polite to talk with your mouthful!"

"Mouthful of what?" A menacing voice growled from the edge of the room. "Lupin you had better not have been feeding my niece chocolate again!" Severus strode into the room with a menacing sneer on his face.

Estella looked at her uncle mischievously, a small hand clamped firmly over her mouth as she shook her head furiously in denial. Behind her, her Godfather's chest rumbled heartily in barely concealed mirth before steadying back into its regular rhythm.

"Any boggarts in the closet, Severus?" Remus asked, hiding his concern from the child with a light layer of humour.

Severus took the hint. "No, but I did find this rather interesting artefact." He hesitated as he resumed his seat. "Estella, if you would come here please."

Remus gently settled Estella on her feet and gave her a reassuring shove towards her Uncle. Estella found her feet and approached her Uncle slowly.

Severus, sensing his niece's hesitation, reached out and wrapped a long arm around his niece's waist, pulling her close whilst his other hand opened the album that was balanced on his knee.

"Estella," he asked, clearing his throat nervously, "is this the lady you saw?" He continued evenly, indicating to a picture of Selina and himself on her wedding day.

Estella looked at the smiling woman carefully, before nodding her head gravely. "I think that's her," she said thoughtfully. "But she was much sadder when I saw her. So I could be wrong…"

Severus and Remus exchanged a look as he held up the photograph to show Remus who Estella had just identified.

"Who is she?" Estella's innocent voice permeated the stunned silence that had blanketed the room.

Severus sighed, his dark eyes glazing over. "My sister…" he said softly, then more strongly he added. "Your Mother."

End Chapter: Covert Ops


	15. Mr Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!  
Uploaded: 2nd February 2005

**"Black Light" **

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Fifteen: Mr Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.**

For the next hour Estella had sat on her Uncle's lap, transfixed, as he turned through the pages of the neglected photo album, explaining who everyone was. Surprisingly, she took the news of Sirius' incarceration pretty well.

"But he looks so nice and not mean!" Estella exclaimed, pointing at a picture of Sirius that had captured him laughing, with his arms around the shoulders of a younger Remus and James Potter at his wedding. "Uncle Remus, why would you be friends with someone who was mean?"

Remus sighed forlornly at the memories the picture brought back and pushed his emotions aside. "Estella, your father wasn't mean to everyone." He paused, trying to find the right words whilst ignoring Severus' look of indignation. "However, there were certain people he didn't like and to those people he was unspeakably mean to. He hurt them when they didn't deserve it and when they couldn't defend themselves and he had to be punished for it."

Severus, repressing the sickening feeling of guilt that he was feeling on account of the lies his niece was unwittingly being fed, could only nod his head in agreement.

"Did he take Mummy away?" She asked, horrified, her voice barely audible.

"No sweetheart, your father loved your Mummy very much." Severus begrudgingly admitted to the distraught child.

"Well was he mad at me? Is that why he did the bad thing?" She asked.

"No Missy, he was so happy when he found out your Mummy was pregnant with you." Remus said softly, leaning over and flipping through the pages of the album until he came to one near the back featuring a heavily pregnant Selina and a beaming Sirius who had his arms wrapped around his wife's midsection protectively as he kissed the swollen belly while they sat on a comfortable sofa. "See, there's you in your Mum's tummy. Your Dad couldn't wait to hold you in his arms!"

A sad look crossed over Estella's face. "But he never met me, did he?" She asked softly.

"No, he didn't." Severus admitted, "he was arrested and sent to Azkaban the night you were born."

"Didn't he love me then?" She asked despondently.

Severus hesitated, the guilt beginning to eat at him. "I am sure your father loved you in his own way, Estella." He said diplomatically. "It seems, however, that he had other priorities that took him away from you."

'Well no one made him to abandon his wife and go after Pettigrew single handed!' Severus thought, justifying his logic.

Estella bit her bottom lip nervously. "Can I see him?"

Severus sighed. As much as he didn't want to expose his niece to the harsh environment of Azkaban Prison, he didn't want to lie to her anymore than was necessary. "Azkaban does permit visitors, but I assure you that the man in the prison cell is no longer your father."

Estella frowned, looking to Remus for clarification.

"What your uncle means is that Azkaban has a strange effect on people who are imprisoned there. I doubt he even remembers his name." Remus said sadly, "and whilst I am sure that any part of the Sirius I knew that may remain would love to see you, I also know he wouldn't want you to see him like that. It's better for you to think of him as being at rest with your mother and remember him through these photographs."

Estella nodded slowly. "How did my mother die?" She asked, changing the subject.

Severus froze, battling his inner demons. "She died so that the one thing she loved more than the entire world could live." He said softly, the better demon winning.

* * *

That was two days ago. The days since had seen the small dungeon quarters Severus shared with his niece turned upside down in a re-decorating frenzy. Photographs of Selina, her scourge of a husband and Severus' own band of childhood tormentors, Potter and his merry gang, inescapably mocked at him from every conceivable nook and cranny. Now the child knew of the existence of such photos, their omnipresence in their lives was unavoidably necessary if he were to keep his niece happy. 

Severus only had to look at the contentment in his niece's eyes, however, to know that any personal discomfort he felt was well worth the reward. Up until that moment, Severus had never fully appreciated what depriving Estella of the finer details of her heritage was doing to the young child. Already, he could sense an air about her that was so much more sure of herself and confident. A healthy spark had ignited in the eyes Severus was beginning to identify as his niece's own, and any sign of the insecure hesitancy he had previously picked up in the child's recent behaviour was but a memory.

Talking to Estella about Selina had opened a can of worms, but in reflection, had been a rather therapeutic experience for him. Unable to be present at his sister's funeral and then overwhelmed with the responsibilities of looking after an infant, Severus realised he had not really grieved her loss. Whilst the intermittent time had permitted him to accept his sister's death, opening up and talking to Estella about his memories of Selina gave him a sense closure he didn't even realise he needed. It was good, also, to recall the many good memories he had of he and Selina growing up as for too long he had been resentful, obsessing over Selina's decision to marry the one person besides his father and Lord Voldemort, that made his life miserable.

Begrudgingly, Severus even answered questions about Sirius. Whilst he and Remus remained tight lipped about what 'good' Sirius was like before he did the 'bad thing', both were willing and open about sharing their recollections about the specific love Selina and Sirius shared. It was, like Remus had said, what Selina would have wanted for her child. Severus didn't know what to think of the apparition Estella had seen in her bedroom that night, but he liked to think it was his sister's way of letting him know it was the right time to tell Estella about where she came from. He knew without any sliver of a doubt that if anyone could come back from the dead to watch over their child, it would be Selina.

After much discussion after Estella had gone to bed that fateful night, Severus and Remus had come to a mutual agreement about what to tell Estella about the lycan's friendship with Black and Potter. They decided, in the end, to mask Remus' recollections under the guise of a fictitious story, using the code names the group assigned to their pranks and allocating each character an appropriate animal form as cover. It was Severus who suggested that Sirius' _Padfoot_ should take the form of a Black dog, not unlike the stuffed toy that Estella had possessed since birth. He thought it was highly appropriate given that he'd always thought of his errant brother-in-law as being something of a mongrel; and was rather proud of his private little joke.

Remus, of course, assumed the guise of Moony, although Estella knew already that Moony was real – at least for a couple of days each month – following an enlightening conversation the pair had orchestrated with the child after she began noticing the regularity of Remus' absences some six months previously. James 'Prongs' Potter took the form of a Stag (which figured because weren't Stags arrogant?) and the weedy, impressionable Peter 'Wormtail' Pettigrew was aptly given the form of a Rat (again Severus cheered his hidden genius at the suggestion given what he knew of the man) because like a rat, Remus said, Peter was the only one in the group who was consistently able to worm his way out of trouble.

The plan was to introduce the characters slowly and reconstruct historical events from there. Moony and his canine friend had apparently already shared in some adventures, Remus had confessed, during his play sessions with Estella and the ever-present toy dog; so the introduction of a rat and a stag would be of little incidence. However, the day after 'the talk', Remus had come to spend the afternoon with Estella and was quick to discover that the child had an immense phobia of rodents. Wormtail's existence as a fictitious representation of Peter Pettigrew's friendship with Estella's parents was over before it began. When Severus first heard of his niece's aversion to the innocent looking fluffy toy rat Remus had transfigured for the part, he couldn't help but shiver. He wondered, somewhat warily, if this was fate's way of haunting his decision to not expose Pettigrew for the two-timing rat that he was.

As the days moved into weeks, life began to settle back into a sense of normality. Her initial curiosity sated, the onslaught of questions from Estella had descended to a comfortable trickle and Severus felt a feeling of contentment, having gotten a lot of things off his chest and out in the open.

* * *

The day was Saturday. Estella was in her room getting ready to spend her day with Remus and Severus was in his office clearing his desk for the day in preparation for his obligatory monthly Saturday lunch with the Malfoys. 

It was ironic, Severus realised, that it was on account of the taunting and ridicule the likes of Sirius Black and James Potter had plagued upon him that he came to idolise Lucius Malfoy in his youth. A proud pureblood and confident Slytherin, Lucius represented everything 'snivelling' Severus wanted to be. When his talent for potions was realised early in his schooling years, Lucius readily became Severus' ally. Deep down Severus always knew their 'friendship' was as shallow as the bottom of a alcoholic's glass during happy hour, but by the time he grew the spine to do anything about it, he was in too deep.

Lucius Malfoy was one of Lord Voldemort's strongest supporters. Whilst Severus' own father had also been a death eater, with the contrasting balance of his mother's opinions he knew he would not have been forced to follow in his father's footsteps if he so chose. His father would likely have disowned him had he publicly renounced his support of the dark lord to save his own face, but it wouldn't have been the end of the world had his dissent had been discreet. No, it was out of foolish peer allegiance with the charismatic and politically enchanting Lucius Malfoy that drove him to make the biggest mistake of his life, and even to this day he and his niece were being forced to pay for it.

It was imperative, Dumbledore had stressed, that he maintain appearances amongst the more unsavoury members of the Wizarding society. Even with the Dark Lord out of commission, Severus knew his life would be over should any of 'his Master's' dormant supporters were to discover his 'treason'; and so he maintained his association with the Malfoy family – an association that was made even more pressing given Narcissa Malfoy's blood relation to Sirius Black. She had it in her mind that Estella would make a worthy playmate of her son, Draco, and was insistent upon meeting the child. Severus, namely, disagreed, but of course he couldn't let such sentiment be known.

The first few years after Estella's birth, he was blessed with peace. The Malfoys, busy with an infant of their own, were under close scrutiny from the Ministry and all but severed their connections with other known 'dark' families – Severus included. That was, until nine months ago, when he and Estella had been surprisingly invited to young Draco's sixth birthday party. Estella, conveniently, had contracted a serious bout of the flu that week and they were not-so-unfortunately unable to attend, but like he told Remus several weeks earlier, he was running out of excuses.

"Estella, are you ready to go? Your Godfather is due to arrive in several minutes!" Severus called out as he exited from his office to find his private living room devoid of his niece's presence.

"I can't get my head through!" A muffled voice replied as his niece stumbled blindly out of her room, her head concealed in the folds of her cloak, her arms tangled in the material as she clutched and clawed at it's neck.

Severus shook his head, smirking. "How many times have I told you to unclasp your cloak first?" Severus said, striding over to his niece and stilling her form. "Keep still, you'll fall and hurt yourself running around blindly like that!"

Estella relaxed under her Uncle's gentle ministrations and waited patiently as he deftly untangled the distressed cloak and loosened it's ties so it could fit over her head without incident.

"There, that wasn't so hard, now was it?" Severus chided lightly, patting her on the head. "See to it that you unclasp your cloak first in future, mmm?"

Estella nodded, her hair falling out of place even more "Thanks Uncle Sev, I will."

Severus frowned slightly as he took in his niece's dishevelled appearance. Briskly brushing out the rumples in the dark cloak, he tutted at the child's straggling hair.

"Did you even brush your hair this morning?" He asked exasperatedly, "you look like you just got out of bed!"

Estella rolled her eyes and flicked at her hair nonchalantly, the scene a routine occurrence. "I _did_ brush my hair Uncle Sev! You know it's a _hopeless battle_!"

Severus smirked at his niece's flawless imitation and ruffled her hair into even more disarray. "I give up!" He said half-heartedly. "Start a trend."

"Oh _Uncle Sev_!" Estella giggled, absorbing every second of her uncle's rare playfulness.

"Shall we walk to the Entrance Hall and await Mr Lupin's arrival?" Severus asked.

Estella was out the door and down the hall before Severus could even announce their intended destination.

"Estella! Don't get too far ahead!" Severus growled, as he paused to ward the entrance to their quarters.

"Moony!" Estella squealed with joy, as she heard her Godfather's unmistakable step up ahead and ran to join him, totally ignoring her Uncle's request.

"Why do I even bother?" Severus mumbled to himself as he sheafed his wand back in his sleeve and followed his niece's echoing footsteps at a more languid pace.

Remus, meanwhile, had heard his Goddaughter's approach and crouched down, opening his arms in anticipation, a wide smile on his face smoothing away the years.

"Hey there cub, got a kiss for your favourite Godfather?" Remus scooped the child up in a embrace and raised her up in the air.

"Remus, you're my _only_ Godfather, silly!" The child admonished, rolling her eyes and wrapping her arms around Remus' neck lovingly.

"So what does my little star child wish to do today with her _only_ Godfather?" Remus asked, playfully correcting his previous mistake.

The little girl in his arms broke into a wide grin, as she fished out a black ball of fur from the pockets in her robe.

"Can you make up another story 'bout Moony and Padfoot?" She asked excitedly, waving the black object under Remus' nose. "Can you Remus, please?"

Remus took the Padfoot toy from his goddaughter and placed him on the floor in front of them. "I can do better than that, sweetheart." He said, pulling out his wand and pointing it at the toy. "Animate!"

Estella squealed with delight as her toy dog came to life, jumping and yapping at their feet. Extricating herself from Remus' arms, she knelt on the floor and giggled as toy-Padfoot proceeded to climb on her and lick her face. Remus meanwhile, had pulled a scaled version of a familiar looking _Stag_ out of his robe and silently animating it behind the child, unnoticed.

"Oh Remus, Remus, thank you, thank you!" The little girl cried, when she acknowledged the new toy Remus had bestowed upon her.

"That's quite alright, Estella." Remus said warmly, squatting to join his charge on the floor. "Now, how would you like to hear a story about Padfoot and his new friend _Prongs_?" He asked, indicating to the toy stag.

"Oh how riveting!" Severus remarked sarcastically as he rounded the corner and came across the pair. "How unfortunate that I will be otherwise occupied and unable to join you!"

Estella rolled her eyes while Remus shook his head. Bundling the child and the toys up into his arms, he rose to Severus' eye level. "Really, Severus, no need to be so dismayed." Remus chuckled, "I am sure Estella will fill you in with intricate detail upon her return, won't you cub?"

Estella nodded enthusiastically, unaware of her Uncle's inward cringe. "Sure will, Uncle Sev! See you later!"

Severus inclined his head in response and glared at his niece in warning. "Behave," was all he needed to say before turning to walk away.

"Severus!" Remus called out, causing Severus to turn, "I will be sending my letter tomorrow as we discussed."

Severus nodded his head in agreement. "I will bear that in mind." He replied cryptically, not wanting to arouse Estella's curiosity. Following the discussion with Estella about her parents, the pair had confronted their need for closure in regards to Sirius. It was decided after much deliberation, that they would both write to him.

End Chapter: Mr Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs


	16. A Letter From Home

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!

_Uploaded: 5th February 2005 _

**"Black Light" **

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Sixteen: A Letter from home.**

Inside his decaying cell in Azkaban, a shaggy black dog whined. The Dementors were making another pass. Sirius had lost all concept of time. His baby had long since stopped screaming, and Sirius didn't know if 17 years had passed or if the child had died in captivity or what had happened. As much as it tore at his heart to hear his child in distress, a part of him yearned for the baser reassurance that sounds from his beloved child unwittingly gave. He could only hope that Remus or Dumbledore, or even Snape, had gotten her out in one piece.

Rolling off of the flea-ridden lump of a mattress that served as his sanctuary, Sirius hastily transformed back into human form as his canine senses had detected the oncoming approach of one of Azkaban's human custodians. Schooling his face into an arrogant sneer of indifference, Sirius prepared himself for the imminent exchange. He had long since given up showing the cold-hearted staff of Azkaban how desperate he was for news of his daughter. Perhaps reverse psychology would provide better results.

"Black!" The harsh voice of the Azkaban postal worker broke through his thoughts. "Mail."

Sirius' head snapped up, shock evident on his face. This was not what he had been expecting. Clambering to his feet, he scuffled across the dirty floor of his cell to retrieve the two conversely clean white envelopes from the floor where they'd landed by the cell door. Then, huddling against the door and lining up the paper in his hands so that the sparse light leaking in through his observation slot illuminated it, he tore open the first envelope and began to read.

_Black_, the first letter began. A feeling of foreboding relief flooded through him as he recognised his brother-in-laws snaking handwriting. Severus was writing to him! Perhaps news about his daughter! He read on.

_Quite the sticky mess you've gotten yourself into this time, isn't it? Such a shame you didn't think to tell anyone else that you weren't the Potter's secret keeper, hmmm? Everyone thinks you betrayed them. But I know better, don't I Black. Why haven't I ran to your rescue, you ask? Why should I? There's still the question of how those Muggles died. Not to mention what was left of Pettigrew. Tsk Tsk dear Sirius, someone has been a very naughty boy. No Dumbledore to play it down this time, Black! I'm almost glad my sister is dead, so she can be spared the consequences of your extreme arrogance. It's bad enough I'm left to raise your daughter in the shadow of it._

_Rot in Hell,_

_S.S._

Sirius choked back a anguished cry and scrunched the parchment in his hand into a unrecognisable pulp.

'_How could he?'_ He screamed inwardly. For not only was he innocent, but a unwilling someone out there knew it. Not only this, but his child was most likely being raised to hate him! What did he have to live for?

Sirius slumped to the floor and leaned against the door heavily, his head bowed, defeated. The passing of shadow and light as the day wore on illuminated the discarded second envelope on the floor near his foot where he had hastily dropped it whilst reading Severus' letter. Throwing the screwed up remains of Severus' letter across his cell, he contemplated the second letter from its place on the floor.

Picking it up tentatively, he ran his hands over the non-descript envelope, sniffing and smoothing it out. This letter, whatever it was, was considerably larger than _Snivellus'_ biting prose, but try as he might he could not ascertain the content's intent.

'_Just open it you daft twat!'_ The long absent voice of his best friend, James, rang in his head. Sirius shrugged, and carefully began to pull the wax seal apart. '_Not like I have anything better to do_,' he mused.

Staring intently at the envelope as he pulled apart the wax seal, Sirius immediately recognised the letter to be from Remus Lupin.

"Moony!" He exclaimed. "Thank Merlin you're still alive…"

His joy, however, was short lived, as he was inexplicably pulled into the letter.

'_What the?'….._

End Chapter Sixteen: A Letter From Home


	17. Message from Moony

Disclaimer: See Chapter One!

_Uploaded: 8th February 2005 _

**"Black Light" **

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Seventeen: Message from Moony.**

Sirius looked around at his new surroundings. Hogwarts. He was at Hogwarts! Leave it to Moony to truly bring him a little piece of home!

Suddenly, movement at Sirius' right drew his attention to a tall, sandy haired man in tattered robes.

"Remus!" Sirius cried, ecstatically.

The man, however, did not turn, and Sirius felt himself pulled along with the figure as he made his way down the hallway. A memory, Sirius realised, Moony had sent him a memory!

Picking up his feet to match the pace of the memory-Moony, Sirius took a good look at his old friend. Remus' hair and style of clothes had not changed at all, Sirius realised, but the man's face looked older. Dark circles surrounded his eyes, and the beginnings of lines were forming on his brow.

'_How long have I been in here, Moony?' _Sirius pondered. What year was it?

Sirius questions, however, were interrupted by the sudden flurry of small footsteps rushing towards them.

"Moony!" A child's voice squealed with joy. Sirius turned his head to see a dark blur round the corner and run towards Remus, who had crouched down and opened his arms in anticipation, a wide smile on his face smoothing away the years.

Sirius' heart froze in his chest, his breath catching. '_Was this…'_

"Hey there cub, got a kiss for your favourite Godfather?" Remus scooped the child up in a embrace and raised her up in the air.

Sirius exhaled sharply and rushed forward to get a closer look at the child in Remus' arms.

"Remus, you're my _only_ Godfather, silly!" The child admonished, rolling her eyes and wrapping her arms around Remus' neck lovingly.

Sirius' mouth flew open. '_My eyes_', He realised.

Taking a closer look at the child, Sirius knew without a doubt that this was his daughter. She was Selina all over, but clearly had inherited his eyes and flyaway hair. Reaching out his hand to touch his child for the first time, Sirius was dismayed to see his hand go right through the image.

'_That's right, it's only a memory_.' He mentally kicked himself.

"So what does my little star child wish to do today with her _only_ Godfather?" Memory-Remus asked, playfully correcting his previous mistake.

The little girl in his arms broke into a wide grin, as she fished out a black ball of fur from the pockets in her robe.

"Can you make up another story 'bout Moony and Padfoot?" She asked excitedly, waving the black object under Remus' nose. "Can you Remus, please?"

Sirius realised with a smile that his daughter was holding the replica of his animagus form that he had made for Selina upon news of her expecting. Tears – both of joy and grief – cascaded unnoticed down his cheeks. Joy because he was seeing his child for the first time and she was from all appearances, happy and healthy. _And he – well at least his animagus form – wasn't a stranger to her. _Grief, because he was missing out on her life and the child would never truly realise how much he loved her.

Memory-Remus took the Padfoot toy from his goddaughter and placed him on the floor in front of them. "I can do better than that, sweetheart." He said, pulling out his wand and pointing it at the toy. "Animate!"

Sirius' daughter squealed with delight as her toy dog came to life, jumping and yapping at their feet. Extricating herself from Remus' arms, she knelt on the floor and giggled as toy-Padfoot proceeded to climb on her and lick her face. Remus meanwhile, had pulled a scaled version of a familiar looking _Stag_ out of his robe and silently animating it behind the child, unnoticed.

As the toy Stag playfully poked at his little girl and made for the toy dog, Sirius felt his heart burst with pride. '_This was his little girl_!'

"Oh Remus, Remus, thank you, thank you!" The little girl cried, when she acknowledged the new toy Remus had bestowed upon her.

"That's quite alright, Estella." Remus said warmly, once again joining his charge on the floor. "Now, how would you like to hear a story about Padfoot and his new friend _Prongs_?" He asked, indicating to the toy stag.

Sirius smiled his first real smile in many years as he watched his daughter's eyes light up. He didn't even notice when the memory dissolved and he was back in his cell in Azkaban. The image of his daughter's happy face was burned forever into his mind.

Slowly coming back to his senses, Sirius sighed as his eyes cast over the innocently blank piece of parchment. Suddenly, words started to appear.

'Was it worth missing out on this?' was all the letter said in Remus Lupin's precise script. Sirius' heart sank… there was no doubt in his mind what the 'it' Remus was referring to was: his supposed betrayal of James and Lily. 

Sirius sighed. His last friend in the whole world thought he was guilty. As the letter suddenly burst into magical fire and disintegrated in his hands, Sirius couldn't help but feel his resolve strengthened. Now, he was even more determined to get out of the infernal hell he was in. Now, he had something _real_ to fight for. To live.

_Her name was Estella_.

End Chapter Seventeen: Message From Moony


	18. Eye for an Eye

Updated: Wednesday 9th February 2005, in honour of Haley Carr's Birthday -)

Disclaimers: See Chapter One

**Black Light **

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Eighteen: Eye for an Eye **

Severus Snape put down his quill, and, sealing the envelope with the Snape Crest (with Slytherin green wax, no less) summoned his private owl: a majestic black creature named Onyx. His only wish at that moment, was that he could be there in Azkaban to see the look on Black's face when he got his mail.

As he watched the Owl fly off into the early afternoon sky, Severus ignored the annoying little voice in his head that insisted that the object of his ire was most likely too insane by now to even comprehend a written word, and that he had waited too long to have his final say. But whether it is a insane Black or a lucid one at the receiving end of the line, it was all a means to an end.

"Was that Onyx, Uncle Sev?" A little voice suddenly piped up from his side.

'_Damn that child for catching on to my finely crafted art of stealth_' Severus thought, as he turned around to face his niece. _'…and sense of timing!'_

"Yes Estella, that was Onyx. Must you state the obvious?" Severus replied in a level tone.

The object of his oncoming migraine pouted. "But Uncle Sev, I wanted to give Onyx an Owl treat before he left!"

"Well you can give him one when he gets back!" Severus said shortly, rubbing the bridge of his nose in irritation. '_Here we go…'_

"But he will hunt while he's out and not be hungry when he gets back!" Estella proclaimed, as though she was stating an obvious fact.

"Well then you needn't have worried about feeding him before he left then, hmmm?" Severus replied, as though it was equally as obvious.

"But… but… I _wanted_ to!" Estella cried, her innocent child logic failing her.

"Well how was I to know that, I am not a mind reader!" Severus snapped.

"You are when you want to be!" Estella said quietly, referring to his skills as a legilimens.

'_Touché, little Miss'_ Severus quirked his lips, but said nothing; his eyes staring intently into her blue orbs.

"Uncle Sev, are you mad now?" Estella asked, lowering her eyes.

Severus sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "No, I am not mad. I am however at a loss as to why the dietary habits of a self-sufficient animal are of such concern to you."

Estella shrugged. "Was just trying to be nice, you know. Onyx is a good owl and deserves treats."

Severus looked down at his niece incredulously, cursing the emergence of such _Gryffindor_ traits in the child. "He is also my Owl, and as such my responsibility."

"Well maybe if I had my own pet I wouldn't want to care about yours so much!" Estella said sweetly.

'_Slytherin. Very Slytherin_.' Severus thought, a strange sense of relief flooding through him. _'There's hope for her yet.'_

"We've already spoken about this Estella, I will not get you a dog. When you start at Hogwarts I will consider either a Cat, Toad or Owl as such are the School's permitted familiars but not before then. Am I clear?"

"Yes Uncle Sev." Estella said evenly, saving the battle for another day.

"Very well." Severus said appreciatively, placing a hand atop Estella's head. "I must attend to my potions. Can I trust you to quietly colour and play whilst I work?" Severus asked.

"Yes Uncle Sev." Estella answered eagerly as she followed Severus into his lab where she then took her seat at her very own worktable that was set up a safe distance from the banks of cauldrons Severus worked with, but well within his line of sight.

"Thank you Estella. Now you remember the rules, not a sound from you unless I give the signal, alright?" Uncle Sev reminded Estella as he busied himself at her desk, conjuring fresh parchment and crayons for her.

"Yes Uncle Sev." Estella droned, clearly used to this routine. "The potions are extremely volatile at this delicate stage of development and the slightest distraction could send you to the hothpiball." She recited, in her best Uncle Sev impersonation (only he _didn't_ pronounce 'hospital' that way, of course!).

Severus smirked at his niece's impressionable observance and adherence to his code of conduct. Evidently his influence over his niece was so far overwriting the genetic predispositions she had undoubtedly inherited from her father. Nurture vs. Nature, so they say.

"That's correct, Estella. Congratulations on learning the first rule in potion making: always listening to your potion's master." Severus nodded in acknowledgement. "Now if you will excuse me, we have precisely one hour and twenty minutes until supper time and I wish to have completed a batch of Pepper Up for Madame Pomfrey by that time."

Estella nodded absently at her Uncle, the wheels in her mind turning. Severus noted with queasy anticipation the far away look in his niece's eyes as he set up his ingredients. '_What on earth was the child planning now?'_ he mused. '_Probably planning her next method of attack in the immovable plight for a dog_' he concluded, as he set about making his potion.

Several steps into his potion brewing, Severus felt something was wrong. Listening out for the frantic scratching of crayon to parchment, Severus was alerted when he could hear none. Suddenly, he realised that he could feel her eyes on him, watching him intently.

Pausing only momentarily in his fluid movements, Severus continued with the potion without looking up until he had reached a non-critical moment in the potion's process. Once he had adjusted the cauldron to simmer for the necessary length of time, Severus allowed himself to chance a look in the direction of his niece, where she was, he confirmed, watching his every move.

Her eyes capturing her Uncle's ever so briefly, Estella took in a breath as though contemplating speech, but noting the pre-emptive look her Uncle gave and remembering the rules, she fiddled with the crayon in her hand and waited politely for the signal instead. Thinking she had captured her Uncle's attention and he was about to grant her permission to speak, Estella sighed quietly with disappointment when he instead looked back down at his work and began preparing the next lot of ingredients for the potion.

"Why aren't you drawing?" Severus asked, not looking up.

Estella shrugged, somewhat startled at his unscheduled outburst and unsure if she would be risking a potentially dangerous potions accident by answering out of turn. He hadn't given the signal!

When he didn't hear an answer straight away, Severus looked up from his cutting to see the end of a shrug. '_No signal_' he realised with awe. '_Good girl_.'

"You may speak." Severus said, giving the signal.

"Idon'tknowwhattodrawIwannahelpyouinstead." Estella said all at once.

Severus looked at her blankly, replaying in his mind what she had said, albeit at a slower speed. Realisation dawning in his features, he shook his head. "No…" he started, but then, noticing the way her face fell, paused, trying to think of the best way to handle this.

Clearing his throat, Severus decided a change of tact was in order. "While I approve of your inclination to show a vested interest in the subtle art of potion making," he started, noting with satisfaction the way Estella beamed at the notion of his approval. "I do not have the extra time available to me at the particular stage this potion is at with which to supervise your assistance. Perhaps tomorrow I will be able to schedule some time to teach you some rudimentary basics and we could work on a simpler potion."

Stella nodded enthusiastically. "That would be nice thank you Uncle Sev."

"Indeed." He intoned. "As for now, you may continue to observe from where you are, unless…" at this he picked up his wand and, pointing it at the crayons and parchment on Estella's table, muttered a incantation. "… you would rather play pretend."

Estella blinked in astonishment as she took in the scale replica potions kit her uncle had transfigured. It was just like his real set that he was working with across the room from her, except her utensils were splashed with a myriad of bold contrasting colours (a throwback to the crayons they once were, perhaps, given her Uncle's aptitude was _Potions_, after all and not _Transfiguration_) and the piles of ingredients at her disposal were of course, not real. But still, she was now free to observe and mimic him at her leisure.

Smiling widely – '_Selina's smile_' Severus thought absently – Estella started arranging her new toys so that her workbench was mirroring Severus' at that moment. "Thanks Uncle Sev!" She said enthusiastically. "Shall we begin?" She added, sounding remarkably like the _Professor_ Snape she had overheard in the classroom one too many times.

Severus merely nodded in acceptance and proceeded to add the next ingredient to his cauldron, before stirring it precisely 3 times counter clockwise. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see his niece watching him intently, her actions half a beat behind his. Smirking at what that mutt Black would do if he were in the room to bear witness to his daughter's blatant idolisation of his arch nemesis, Severus wondered if this was what it would be like with his own children.

'_Nonsense_' he mentally corrected. '_Black is as good as dead, Estella may well as be my own_.'

Hazarding another glance at his niece, Snape was amused to see Estella deep in thought, completely immersed in her actions to even pay attention to him. As he watched her stir her play-potion, he could see her counting soundlessly and tilting her head in a gesture that was all his own. He realised with a start that he had just considered his niece 'as good as his own child' and that, in realising just how true that statement was in terms of the dynamics of their unique relationship, he should no longer be afraid to let her in.

Rousing Severus from his thoughts, however, were his niece's eyes on his. His niece's fierce_grey_ eyes. Eyes just like Black's. Eyes that haunted him still. Eyes that when they watch him, remind him of how _his _eyes had watched on in amusement as Severus had faced almost certain death at _his_ doing. Of eyes that glittered in triumph when _he_ had gotten away with the 'prank' and later, stolen Selina's heart.

Severus could feel the walls around his heart rebuild. Even from Azkaban, Sirius Black still seemed to manage to get the last laugh.

End Chapter Eighteen: Eye for an Eye


	19. Something Once Forgotten

Updated: Wednesday 9th February 2005, in honour of Haley Carr's Birthday

Disclaimers: See Chapter One

**Black Light **

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Nineteen: Something Once Forgotten **

It was several months after Estella's sixth birthday. The child, for the past semester, had been attending a prestigious day school in Hogsmeade, one of the only all-wizarding preparatory schools in Europe. The issue was cause of much consternation between her guardian and others interested in her welfare. Severus, on one hand, had been extremely adverse to sending Estella away from the sanctuary of Hogwarts' protective wards unaccompanied by either himself or one of the few people he entrusted her safety to. Most Wizarding children (especially those with muggle heritage) either received their elementary education in the Muggle school system or were home schooled by their mothers. The wealthier, predominantly prejudicial pureblood families on the other hand, often employed the services of highly qualified magic tutors to give their child a distinct academic advantage and ensure their admittance to Hogwarts. Severus and Selina themselves, had of course been afforded the best tutors of their day; and Severus anticipated that the same principles would be best applied in regards to his niece's educational development.

Estella's godfather, however, had different ideas; and was wholly supported by Albus. Both believed that Estella would benefit greatly from not only socialising with peers her own age, but also the experience of an academic environment segregated from Hogwarts. While Severus did not care much for the opinion of a simple half-breed whose presence he would never tolerate socially if not for his niece, the Potions Master, did, however, hold Albus' input in high esteem. He was also secretly willing to admit, begrudgingly, that what the headmaster and infernal werewolf were suggesting was a proposal that Selina herself most likely would have assented to. And so, for that foreshadowing fact alone, Severus relented and agreed to send Estella to day-school.

The first few weeks were hard. Not only was Estella accustomed to spending all of her time within the Hogwarts grounds, but she had never been without the reassuring company of either her Uncle or Godfather. Severus too, although he would be remiss to admit it, was feeling her absence also. He no longer had a precocious young child to tear his attention away from the students he couldn't stand at lunchtime, nor would he feel the familiar warmth of the child's presence beside him in the halls between classes, or see her in his peripheral vision as she occupied herself diligently in her corner of his classroom while he taught. No, Severus would have been much happier for Estella to be tutored by himself or another in a manner that would have ensured that their standing routine would have remained unchanged.

And so the routine changed. Each morning after an early breakfast in the sanctum of their private quarters, Severus would accompany Estella across the Hogwarts grounds for the short walk into Hogsmeade. From the Hogwarts gates, he would then save them a lengthy walk through the village by apparating them both to the school's apparition point, the kiss-and-drop. After school each day Estella would then be met by Rubeus Hagrid, the large groundskeeper of Hogwarts who would collect her whilst in the village running errands. Estella would then walk through the village with the overbearingly gentle half-giant, getting a daily dose of fresh air and exercise, and in drawing the time out until she was due to return to her uncle's care, enabling him to complete his teaching duties before her return.

While Severus regretted that he had responsibilities at Hogwarts on most afternoons that rendered him unable to collect Estella from Hogsmeade everyday, he found himself refreshingly racked with anticipation each time he stepped through the threshold of the private quarters he shared with his niece. His quarters were closely guarded with a plethora of wards he had designed to ensure Estella's safety at all times. Anything that posed a potential threat to a curious, unsupervised child were locked away and the wards were structured to alert him in the unlikely event of emergency. In turn, Estella only had to send for Lena if she required nutrients or assistance in remedial tasks. The eager, ever faithful former Hufflepuff house elf was the only elf trusted enough to enter through the complex wards of his quarters when he himself was not present.

Severus reflected appreciably at his fortune of having a niece in his care who was so level headed and reliably well behaved. Despite her tender age, Severus was comfortable to leave the child to her own devices in their quarters for he not only trusted the child to abide by the rules, but he trusted the wards – and the ever-loyal house elf's intuitive sense of preservation - to adequately contain the child. Of course, he did not habitually leave Estella alone, nor was it ever his intent to leave the child without supervision, it was merely a last resort he had confidence in implementing when circumstances sent a unexpected bludger his way and kept him from returning home early enough to welcome her arrival. That way, on the occasions that Severus was running late, he would not have to spend additional time arranging alternative care for his niece, he could just return when he was free to do so, safe in the knowledge that his niece would be home waiting for him with enough protection and activities to keep her out of harm's way.

* * *

Severus was soon to realise, however, that no plan was ever completely infallible. It was an abnormally frosty day in early spring that saw everything change. The day had started off like any other. Severus had roused Estella at the usual time and left her to don her regulatory navy blue school robes while he ordered a light breakfast for them both from the house elves. Breakfast was uneventful, with Estella prattling off with her usual chatter about the things she was going to do at school that day and Severus sipping his black, steaming coffee, bent over that morning's edition of the Daily Prophet. The cold fresh air assaulted their faces as he walked briskly across the dewy Hogwarts grounds, Estella keeping up with him at a slight run, her shallow, warm breaths visible on her flush features as they came in short bursts, dispersing into the cold air. Their parting was routine, and Severus went about his day unfazed.

"Estella!" Severus called out in welcome as he crossed the threshold of their quarters later that afternoon. "I apologise for my tardiness, there was a potions incident in my last class that required immediate attention."

When he could hear no rapid approach of feet or verbal response from his niece, Severus set down his paperwork on a nearby shelf and scanned the room, frowning. He was almost an hour late, which was unheard of, but surely the child was perceptive enough to deduce that it was nothing personal and had suitably refrained from sulking. "Estella?" He called out questioningly.

'_Perhaps she is napping in her room?'_ he mused, as he made to cross the living area towards his niece's closed door. He instead, however, froze, mid-step as his body registered the stale cool ambient temperature of the room. In an effort to maximise the strength of the magical protection surrounding the school the castle conserved energy by only heating of cooling its room when a person was present in them. If Estella was indeed asleep in the next room, the living area would not be in such a state.

An increasing sense of foreboding gripping around his heart, Severus sought out any sign of his niece's return from school. No fresh artwork lay scattered on the table by his armchair waiting to be appraised. No dirty dishes from the child's afternoon tea lay neatly stacked for collection by the hearth. Then, most tellingly, Estella's book bag was missing from its hook. With each sign that failed to reveal itself, Severus felt the constriction in his chest tighten as panic began to set in. He was, by now, rigidly searching the rooms of their quarters for any sign of his niece, his mind unwilling to accept that indeed no one had been in the rooms since morning.

Estella was gone.

End Chapter Nineteen: Something Once Forgotten


	20. Gone

Updated: Friday 11th February 2005

Disclaimers: See Chapter One

**Black Light **

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Twenty: Gone **

Turning on his heel, Severus raced from the dungeons, headed for no particular destination. His normally ordered and perceptive mind was blurred into a malleable mass of barely contained anxiety and he was unable to decide on where would be the best place to start looking.

'_Hagrid's Hut!'_ A exasperated voice he could barely identify as his own exclaimed in his head, willing his feet to move more purposefully.

Hagrid's Hut, however, was eerily reminiscent of his previous destination. There was no sign that the giant, let alone his niece, had been there all day. Severus could only hope that wherever the missing pair were, that they were together. It would not do well for his mind to start thinking of the possibility that Estella was alone in Hogsmeade or lost in the forbidden forest; especially since it was the afternoon of a full moon.

Severus considered heading into Hogsmeade, but decided to check the infirmary first, clinging to the hope that perhaps something minor had occurred on her return from school that required Hagrid to take her there.

'_If that was the case, why was he not sent for?'_ A conspiring voice in his head spat, niggling away at his resolve.

The increasingly concerned potions master was half way to the infirmary, and just outside the Headmaster's office when he saw the man in question approach him merrily.

"Why good afternoon Severus," The headmaster beckoned. "Such strange weather we've been having today!"

Severus glared at the man incredulously, his face an impassive mask. "Have you seen my niece?" he asked evenly.

Albus Dumbledore narrowed his eyes at the younger man before him, his years of experience belying Severus' efforts to conceal the full extent of his concern. "I'm afraid I haven't seen young Miss Black since last night at dinner, is something the matter?"

Severus deepened his glare. "Of course something is wrong!" He snapped, his resolve slipping. "She hasn't returned from school!"

Albus looked unaffected. "Oh, that." He said dismissively, much to Severus' chagrin. "I sent Hagrid away on official school business and sent a message to our friend Remus Lupin..."

Severus paled, his eyes conversely darkening dangerously. "What?" He asked quietly in a menacing tone. "Have you any idea what you've done?"

The twinkle died in the elder wizard's eye as he noted Severus' volatile response. "I'm not quite sure I understand, Severus." He pleaded. "I apologise but I assumed this arrangement would be amenable to your needs."

Severus shook his head forlornly. "Tell me Albus," he said gruffly, desperately clinging to an impossible hope, "that you arranged this with Lupin personally and didn't just send him a message."

"Well I did indeed send him an Owl…" Albus began. "It was such short notice, dear boy, that there wasn't time to await a reply. I assumed Mr Lupin would be reliable…"

"Oh dear God." Severus cried, "did it not occur to you, old man, that tonight is a full moon?"

"Of course," the headmaster responded, nodding. "Though it is still daylight Severus, I did not anticipate that you would have a problem."

"My problem is that Lupin is unlikely to have been in a state to read any Owl we send him today! Do you not recall either Lupin or I mentioning to you several weeks ago that I was testing him on a new potion I am developing? The man has been in the Shrieking Shack all day as a precaution, in case there are any side effects! I wager that the _message_ you sent has since come back unopened!" Severus was beside himself with anger. "Damn it Albus, you should have come to me!"

"Merlin!" Realisation hit Albus full force. "I do apologise, Severus. Shall I notify all available staff and mount a search?"

"I think you've done enough." Severus said coldly before heading towards the nearest floo that would take him to Hogsmeade.

Albus, meanwhile, watched Severus' back as the younger wizard sped away. With a vulnerable look on his face, he alerted the rest of the Hogwarts staff anyway and mounted a search party, desperate to appease his conscience and redeem himself. The last thing the venerable Order leader needed was to have his most valuable spy hold him responsible for something happening to the Black child, causing him to retaliate by revoking his allegiance with the light.

End Chapter Twenty: Gone


	21. Light Fading

Updated: Friday 11th February 2005

Disclaimers: See Chapter One

**Black Light **

_By Dante Lewis_

**Chapter Twenty One: Light Fading**

Severus had retraced Estella's steps from her final class of the day some two hours previously and come to another brick wall. The last time any of her teachers had seen the child was as she sat waiting by the gate to be collected, and none of the storekeepers in Hogsmeade had any recollection of an unaccompanied child fitting Estella's description visiting their store. He had searched every alleyway, every park, every café, pub and shop he could think of that Estella may have been likely to have gone. He tracked down the houses of her school friends and traumatised them with his desperate inquisition. All to no avail.

It was early March, and as such the light had been early in fading from the sky. Any moment and the full moon would rise, leaving a child alone outside susceptible to not only the abnormally cool elements, but at risk of attack from the unsavoury wilds of the surrounding woods. Those amongst the Hogwarts staff that weren't required to supervise the students in the evening were combing the forest for any trace of the child, whilst locals from the village assisted by door knocking and searching backyards. As time crept on, the likelihood that Estella had been met with foul play became all the more apparent.

"Severus." The headmaster's grave voice stirred him from his thoughts as the older wizard appeared before him. "The moon is rising. I am afraid we have no choice but to postpone the search until dawn."

Severus waved the man away irritably. "Do what you must Albus," he growled. "But understand that I will not stop until my niece is found."

Albus nodded sadly and squeezed the younger wizard's shoulder encouragingly. "I didn't expect that you would." He stated, "have faith, my dear boy, if she is anything like her uncle she will have the sense to pull herself through this."

Severus sighed, his shoulders drooping under his mentor's grip, and he nodded slightly. "I can only hope," Severus said, pausing uncertainly as though reconsidering the weight of his words, "that for the sake of our professional relationship, you are correct this time."

The older man paled visibly and inclined his farewell with a tilt of his head.

Meanwhile, in another part of Hogwarts, a small girl shivered. After waiting patiently to be collected from school, Estella had made the fateful decision to walk herself home and had invariably gotten lost. One of the narrow streets that served the most direct route back to Hogwarts was akin to Knockturn Alley and whilst Estella had been frequently escorted down that path by a trusting adult by matter of necessity, she was forbidden under any circumstances to traipse down its length unaccompanied. What Estella had then thought to of been an alternative route was in fact a winding, disorientating maze of unfamiliar lanes and buildings.

Finally, in the distance, Estella could make out the derelict chimney of what she was sure was the Shrieking Shack. It had been a long while since her uncle and godfather had taken her to the shack as part of their explanation of where Uncle Remus went once a month, but she'd recognise its neglected features anywhere. While she had no idea how to get back to Hogwarts from the derelict estate, she sought comfort in the fact that Remus would be there that night. Her Godfather would know what to do. All she had to do was get there before the moon rose.

Looking up at the sky Estella noted she didn't have much time. Light was fading.

End Chapter Twenty One: Light Fading


	22. Madness Within

Updated: Friday 11th February 2005

Disclaimers: See Chapter One

**Black Light **

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Twenty Two: Madness Within **

As Estella approached the perimeter of the shack, she could feel the inexplicable sensation that she had to be somewhere else. Unwittingly combating the anti-wizard wards with her fierce determination and inbred patented stubbornness, Estella reached the threshold of the rambling old abode and made her way into the darkness within.

Passing through the front doorway of the shack, Estella shivered as her body reacted to the ripple of magic that permeated the air due to the disturbance in the wards. Suddenly, the door slammed shut, enveloping her in darkness and causing no end of panic. Fumbling blindly for the door handle, Estella cursed her irrational behaviour.

"This was a bad idea!" She said out loud, as her confinement to the shack became apparent. Estella had never seen her Godfather in the hours leading up to the full moon rising, and there was no telling if he was in a position to help her now. "Merlin, Uncle Sev is gonna think I'm a dunderhead!"

Her eyes now adjusting to the musty grey din of the room, Estella took in her surroundings, watchful for any sign of either her Godfather or a way out. Making her way up the stairs wearily, the old structure creaking and groaning underfoot, Estella began to appreciate exactly both why her Uncle and Godfather refused to take her on a tour of the property and why there were so many wards surrounding it, keeping people out.

"Blasted stubbornness!" Estella muttered to herself, echoing her uncle's favourite sentence.

Spying a dim light under a doorway up ahead, Estella rushed forward, almost knocking the rotted wood off its hinges as she fell into it heavily, pushing it open in relief. "Uncle Remus!" She called out.

A rustle in a shadowed corner of the room alerted Estella to her Godfather's location. Remus, in turn, was struggling to rise from the makeshift mattress on the floor to shoo his goddaughter away. "Estella," he croaked, his voice thick under the influence of Severus' latest potion. "What are you doing here? You have to go!"

Estella's exhausted face screwed up at her godfather's unintentionally harsh tone. "Please don't be mad, Uncle Remus. No-one came for me at school…" she started, her voice becoming increasingly choked on sobs. "I-I thought I c-could m-make my way h-home."

Remus sighed, yet still kept his distance from the child. "You got lost?" The child nodded. "Merlin Estella, you can't be here. Not now."

"I can't get out now." Estella sobbed, eyes downcast. "The door w-w-wont open. I'm s-s-s-sorry!"

Remus wretched, fear for his goddaughter twisting at his every inside. He would welcome the Dementors Kiss before he would see the precious child before him sentenced to his fate. Noticing the fear on her features, he crossed the room and gathered the trembling child in his arms, frantically hoping for a miracle.

"Hush child, it's alright." He said shakily, trying not to think what the rising wolf in him was capable of doing to her. "There's another way out…"

However, before the tortured werewolf could direct Estella to the secret trapdoor that would lead her all the way back into Hogwarts' grounds, he felt the last of his humanity begin to slip away. '_No!'_ he inwardly screamed.

In his arms, Estella could feel her godfather's heartbeat race. Looking up at him quizzically as he stopped mid-sentence, she was alarmed to see his eyes glazed and his breathing heavy. "Uncle Remus?" She asked warily, snaking her way out of the man's loosening grip to stand a few steps away.

Estella continued to watch in frozen terror as hair began to grow all over her beloved Godfather before her, his robes stretching, tearing and _moving _over him as his body started to shift. Her legs beginning to move on their own accord, Estella stumbled backwards, her hands flailing around looking for something she could protect herself with.

"Run! Hide!" Remus panted almost unintelligibly as the primal natures of his inner wolf drove the last of the desperate fear and sadness from his eyes. As the moon shone forth to cage his soul, his last conscious thought was that Severus' potion hadn't worked.

Estella was in danger.

End Chapter Twenty Two: Madness Within


	23. Fateful Night

Updated: Saturday 12 February 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Black Light **

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Twenty Three: Fateful Night **

Severus shivered. The moon had risen. All of the Hogwarts staff had returned to the Castle to see to their students and have a late dinner. How anyone could eat at a time like this was beyond the man. He could not believe how nonchalant they were being about his niece's disappearance. Most seemed to think she ran away, or that she had the miraculous foresight to find adequate shelter for the night. 'Right', Severus snorted to himself. 'If the child was so insightful, how come she didn't find her way home?'

His legs unwittingly leading him towards the Shrieking Shack, Severus sucked in a breath. In the distance, he could hear the call of the werewolf warded within its walls. Memories of events years previously flooded the forefront of his mind, sending shivers down his spine. As he got closer to the boundary fences of the property he could feel the anti-wizard wards propel him away, and he wasn't about to argue with them. The Shrieking Shack was the last place he wanted to be… and it was the last place Estella would be if the wards were any indicator.

Fatefully turning away from the shack before him, Severus headed back down the road to continue his search. Had he stayed just a moment or two longer, he would have most certainly have heard a terrified child's scream.

* * *

Estella turned on her heels and ran. Out the door and down the stairs she stumbled, the darkness of the house enveloping her once more. Disorientated amidst her panic and the cold black stillness of the air around her, Estella ran through the house listlessly, unable to find her bearings. Stumbling unceremoniously into a furry, tattered wall tapestry, Estella screamed, initially thinking she had run into the stalking wolf. Drawing ragged breaths to calm herself, Estella clung to the warmth of the material, seeking comfort and refuge. 

Choking down a sob, Estella held her breath in anticipation, desperately trying to discern the werewolf's location from the sounds around her. To her horror, identifiable amongst the subtle creaking and groaning of the old house was the terrifyingly close panting of something no longer human.

It was Moony.

* * *

In Azkaban, a dog stirred in his sleep, unbeknownst to the terrors his loved ones were tangled up in at that very moment. For time itself was irrelevant to the occupants of Azkaban prison. Cold, hungry and wrought with emotional tortures, it was not unheard of to lose consciousness for days at a time… or to fall into a lucid nightmare that never ended. 

Dreaming whenever the Dementors were near always spelt bad news, and yet sleep was always inevitable. Tonight was the full moon, and like he often did, he dreamt about the nights James and he would accompany Remus to the Shrieking Shack in their animagus forms to keep him company while he transformed. Only problem was, tonight Prongs was not there, and Sirius was not there as Padfoot. He was human. He had no wand, and Moony had him backed into a corner.

"Moony, no!" Sirius silently screamed, his unconscious mind not recognising the canine state he was physically in. "Don't attack! They'll kill you! You don't want to do this!"

He stumbled in his dream, struggling to find his way in the dark. It was all so _real_, his mind thought as his canine sharpened senses could actually smell the dust, fear and blood. Backing into a wall, the Sirius in the dream screamed.

'_That's not me!'_ Sirius realised incredulously. His scream would never be so high pitched – and he would know, he'd screamed a lot of late.

It was with abstract trepidation that he assumed that his dream must be based on the (very) deeply buried guilt that he felt when he sent Severus to the Shrieking Shack on the night of a full moon in their fifth year. Either his mind was recreating the fear he had inflicted unto his brother-in-law, or the greasy git himself was casting a memory charm on him from afar after having made some voodoo potion with his blasted chemistry set.

'_Must be my birthday or something…_' A long-absent lucid thought sarcastically bit at his subconscious.

Yet despite his being able to somewhat observe the dream from a third person perspective, he still felt like he was the one being hunted. That he was the one in imminent danger.

'_Relax!' _He tried to soothe the escalating panic in his mind, trying to convince himself. '_This is just Snivellus' memory. Any minute Prongs will appear and come to the rescue._'

Turning away from the werewolf nonchalantly, he found himself watching the trapdoor he knew was there through the darkness, waiting for the rest of the historical event to play itself out. Only thing was, no one came through the trapdoor; and behind him, the werewolf attacked.

Sirius let out a blood curdling scream and woke up, cold and disorientated in his inexplicably (now) human form.

* * *

It was in the small hours before dawn that Severus forced himself to return to the castle in defeat, clinging to the desperate hope that his niece had somehow returned in his absence. Making his way back into his undeniably empty dungeon quarters, Severus inexplicably found himself in Estella's dark and empty room, as though the walls that formed her own little haven would provide him with the answers he was seeking. Letting his weight fall onto her small bed, Severus acknowledged the exhaustion that wracked his very core. Promising himself that he would just rest for an hour – and that the rest, and the subsequent onset of dawn would present much more favourable conditions in which to make his search all the more efficient – Severus dissolved himself, fully clothed, into his niece's bedclothes; subconsciously finding comfort in her lingering scent. 

Later, as the beginnings of dawn peaked over the horizon a broken wreck of a man awoke from his monthly nightmare. Awoke with splinters under his butchered nails and suffocated by the undeniable scent of fear and bloodshed in his nostrils.

All that Remus could remember of the night that had just passed was the moments before his transformation. The evening had started like none other – Severus had him dosed up on some new concoction he was experimenting with, and he had whittled the day away in his 'bedroom' in the warded shack, nervously awaiting the onset of the full moon. That was, until, his whole world was turned upside down by the last minute arrival of his most beloved goddaughter.

"Oh God!" Remus cried, "Estella!"

End Chapter Twenty Three: Fateful Night


	24. Morning Has Broken

Updated: Sunday 13 February 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Twenty Four: Morning Has Broken  
**

_A few hours previously…_

Estella was suddenly instilled with an eerie sense of efficiency. Letting out her breath slowly and quietly, Estella hugged the wall, tiptoeing across its length, feeling for the nearest exit, and careful not to make any sudden movements. Estella knew without a doubt that Moony could smell her, and most likely see her too. He was merely toying with her, playing with his prey. Estella shuddered. She knew better than to approach the beast, expecting to find some shred of the Godfather she knew in its features. Remus would not have looked at her so fearfully and urged her to leave if Moony was merely the kind of wolf that just wanted to play _ball_ with her.

Her hands suddenly grasping at air behind her, Estella began to back away slowly through the doorway into what she assumed to be another hallway. Turning away cautiously, Estella made her way forward, her ears pricked for any sound of the werewolf she knew was behind her, following, waiting for his time.

With her mind so focused on keeping mental tabs on the werewolf's last known whereabouts, Estella, unfortunately was not paying attention to what was in front of her. Unexpectedly stubbing her toe on something metal and hard on the floor, Estella lost her balance and fell forward, landing on the floor with a crash - a inexplicably _hollow_ crash – grazing her legs and splitting her lip in the process. Running her hands around the floor surrounding her in distress, one of her fingers caught in a small ring of metal on the floor, whilst the other detected a symmetrical crack in the floorboards. Estella had seen enough of them during her explorations of the castle to know she had landed on a trapdoor.

Sliding off the trapdoor on her belly so as to not alert the approaching werewolf of any threat, she worked the rusted old ring free on its axis and pulled, grimacing as she knelt on her injured knees for purchase. Hearing the soft padded paws of her pursuer increase in step, Estella channelled all her strength, fear and hope into one last tug.

'I swear if I ever see Mrs Norris chasing a mouse again I will save the mouse!' she swore to herself as she pulled.

With what only could be displayed as a show of accidental magic, the rusty, stiff hinges began to cooperate; the trapdoor rising high enough to admit a small person. Hearing the werewolf growl and pounce behind her, Estella pitched herself forward into the darkness below; the attacking wolf tearing the book bag from her shoulders before the door slammed on his nose.

Tucking her head down to her chest, Estella rolled forward down a series of steps with the momentum that the shove the closing trapdoor had given her. Her increasingly bruised and battered body coming to a stop on the bottom step, Estella struggled to her feet; eager to get away from the scratching and growls she could hear above her. Clawing her way through the ink black cavity before her, Estella followed the tunnel's length, stubbornly refusing to succumb to the fatigue and pain that coursed through her.

* * *

Scrambling to his feet, the weary man looked around frantically for any sign of his precious goddaughter. The air was rank with her scent… her _fear_… her _blood_. A choking sense of foreboding gripped his heart tightly as she searched for any sign of the child. His heart froze as his eyes took in the wolf's scratch marks on the trapdoor and Estella's destroyed book bag amongst faint dashes of human blood. Reaching down and tearing the trapdoor open with inhuman strength – the wards no longer holding him back - Remus plundered his way down the well-trodden path, his mind awash with emotion. He swore to himself that had Moony done anything to his goddaughter, neither he nor the madness he carried within deserved to draw another breath. 

Running now, Remus sped down the tunnel he knew all too well from his time at Hogwarts. Estella was close, Remus could smell her, and if his fears were correct, she had just spent a night outside in the cool March air unprotected from the elements. Coming around the final bend, long since having started the ascent towards higher ground, Remus was reunited with the sight of the familiar form of his goddaughter, lying on her stomach on the cool tunnel floor, her back warmed by the light of the rising sun as it streamed in through the entrance above her head.

'_She couldn't get by the Willow_!' Remus realised with a start as he crouched down to assess the child's unconscious form. The poor child looked worse for wear. Caked in a mix of dust, cobwebs and dirt, Estella was covered in a series of cuts and bruises, and her knees were scabbed over with dried blood. Rising to his feet to reach up beyond the sleeping child, Remus felt around the tunnel's entrance for the knot in the roots that would grant them safe passage and pressed it before stooping back down to pull Estella into his arms.

Crawling out of the tunnel awkwardly, Remus emerged from under the Whomping Willow and sped towards the infirmary, his inexorably exhausted body fuelled by adrenalin and concern. Estella – who had yet to awaken – was breathing shallowly and was dangerously cool to the touch. His werewolf senses were panicked to note that the resilient child's heartbeat was not beating as strongly as it normally did, even in slumber.

And he could smell blood.

End Chapter Twenty Four: Morning Has Broken


	25. Prognosis

Updated: Sunday 13 February 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Black Light **

_By Dante Lewis _

**Chapter Twenty Five: Prognosis **

Barely half an hour later, two fraught looking men sat at opposite sides of the room outside the infirmary waiting for news. As soon as the harried nurse had opened the door, the darker of the two men was on his feet and assaulting her with a barrage of questions.

"How is she? Is she going to be alright? Was she bitten?" Severus asked gruffly, casting the ashen-faced form of Remus Lupin an accusatory glare.

Madame Pomfrey, in turn, looked between the two men nervously and cleared her throat. "In answer to your immediate fears," she started, looking directly at the distraught werewolf. "I see no traces of a werewolf bite _anywhere _on Estella's body. From what little Mr Lupin could describe to me when he brought Miss Black in, it appears young Estella's book bag bore the brunt of the attempted attack."

Severus cast a murderous look at Remus. "You _attacked_ her!" He said in a dangerously low tone. Remus cast his eyes to the ground shamefully, unable – and unwilling - to redeem himself from Severus' wrath. Anything the man had to say to him or do was nothing compared to the self-punishing purgatory his conscience was already torturing himself with.

"If I may be so prudent as to intervene, gentlemen," Dumbledore's voice interrupted from the hallway. "I do not find it at all productive to hold Mr Lupin accountable for events he holds no control over."

Severus opened his mouth to protest, but Dumbledore continued, cutting him off and turning to Remus. "In fact, my dear boy, I must confess my own hand in creating the circumstances that directed Miss Black into such mortal peril in the first place."

At this, Severus glared openly at the headmaster, remembering their confrontation the previous day, while Remus looked at the headmaster blankly. "I do apologise, gentleman, for my lapse in judgement. I had to send Hagrid on important Hogwarts business and I am afraid I did not confirm the alternate arrangements for Miss Black's collection." Dumbledore explained humbly. "Severus here was tending to a Potions accident well after classes had finished and the alarm wasn't raised for some time. A dreadful mistake on the part of a interfering old fool, I do hope that all three of you can forgive me."

Remus looked at the Headmaster before him with a bewildered look on his face, shocked at the older wizard's apparent fallibility. Severus, meanwhile, regarded both men with closely guarded contempt. Ignoring the old man's pleas for forgiveness, he turned his attention once again to the nurse in the doorway, raising an eyebrow at her expectantly.

Taking her cue, Madame Pomfrey continued her prognosis. "Like I said, gentleman, no _long-term_ harm done – physically speaking at least." She began. "Asides from a few cuts and bruises which I have healed already, Estella contracted a moderate bout of hypothermia. Had she not had the relative shelter of the tunnel or not been found when she was I'm afraid we might have been too late; but as it stands the child has responded well to treatment and should awaken soon."

At hearing this, both men visibly relaxed. Estella was out of immediate danger. "What about psychologically?" Remus asked timidly, his voice thick with emotion as she choked back a sob "I, er, don't remember what happened…" His voice trailed off for he didn't wish to admit to Severus how much fear he could smell when he awoke for fear of never being able to see his Goddaughter again.

Madame Pomfrey appraised him knowingly. "There's no question that Estella has endured a traumatic experience. Until Estella tells us what happened I don't think we will fully understand the extent of things, so all I can advise is that you both support her as best you can." Then, looking at Severus, she added cryptically. "Try to keep things as normal as possible, and let Estella guide you. Thankfully she is so young."

Albus nodded his head in agreement. "Children are exceedingly resilient." He said, planting a reassuring hand on Remus' shaking shoulder. "She'll bounce back."

Both men rose to their feet and headed towards the infirmary, but Remus found himself blocked by his opponent. "I will not permit you to see Estella at this time." Severus hissed. "You've done enough already, Lupin."

Remus bowed his head in silent agreement, acknowledging the likelihood of Estella being frightened of his presence upon her return to consciousness. It was merely a selfish desire to ensure the child was safe that drove him to want to see her at that moment at all. He didn't think he would be able to bring himself to face her for quite some time after what he imagined had happened the night before. He knew it was impossible, but he should have been able to fight the wolf for control. He should have been able to protect her.

With trembling shoulders, Remus nodded his assent and took a step away, watching after Severus as he hurried into the room. Seizing her opportunity, the meddlesome nurse grabbed him by the arm gently but firmly and pulled him towards the infirmary, following in Severus' footsteps.

"Not so fast, young man!" She scolded. "You are in need of serious medical attention!"

Remus looked to Dumbledore helplessly only to see the old man smiling at him knowingly and waving at him as he left the room. So, resigning himself to his fate, he let himself be pulled into the infirmary and directed onto a bed not too far away from Estella's by the surprisingly wiry nurse. Collapsing appreciatively onto the clean soft linen of the hospital cot, Remus could barely make out the words of Severus' protest and Madame Pomfrey's staunch defence before the nurse returned to him, pulling the curtains around his bed in the process. It was not long after, that Remus found himself in soft, worn flannelette pyjamas and tucked into bed, a myriad of unidentifiable – but highly effective – potions melting into his body as sleep swept him away.

Meanwhile, a few beds down, Severus Snape kept vigil at his niece's bedside. Rigidly posed in his chair, any stranger passing by the bed would mistake the scene as a teacher watching over one of their students – not an uncle waiting desperately for signs of life in his beloved niece.

Staring down at her small, vulnerable form, Severus' eyes were the only sign that he had any feeling at all; the rest of his face remaining an impassive, stony mask. In his lap, his hands shook slightly as he gripped the edge of the bed so tightly that the already pale skin of his knuckles glowed. His mind was swimming with conflicting emotions and he fought valiantly to clear his mind. Seething anger ran hotly through his veins… both anger at what Lupin had very nearly done, and irritation at Dumbledore's unsolicited oversight. Part of him was even angry at Estella for her juvenile lack of judgement. Then, on the other hand, Severus' body was wracked with the residual aftermath of fear and exhaustion; his stubborn nature unwilling to accept the gratifying flood of relief until his niece was back on her feet.

Severus didn't know how to react. He didn't know if he wanted to yell, scream, cry or laugh at the situation. Part of him wanted to take the reassuring warmth of his niece into his arms and never let go, while the other half wanted to chastise her for her childish error and push her away. He had almost lost Estella last night, and the way his emotions had consumed him was frightening. He had allowed himself to get too close. It made him weak. Severus was undecided as to whether that was a good thing or not.

"Umph…" a moan from the bed before him roused Severus from his thoughts. Turning his attention back to his niece, his heart instinctively leapt at the signs of her awakening from her unconsciousness.

"Estella." He said firmly, "it's time to wake up."

The child groaned and writhed on the bed in protest. "Just five more minutes Uncle Sev, we can floo to school today…" She mumbled.

Severus bit back a smirk, his eyes flashing with the familiar routine. "You're not going to school today." He said softly, waiting.

Estella jerked awake in shock. "Wha?" she cried groggily, her head spinning as she shot up in bed. Blinking the sleep out of her eyes furiously her posture changed as she took in her surroundings.

"Oh." She said softly, her voice barely a whisper, as the events of the previous night flooded back to her consciousness. Falling back onto the pillows heavily, she let out a shaky breath.

"Indeed." Severus said sternly, controlling his baser need to just hold the child in his arms. "Care to enlighten me on why you didn't alert a teacher and use the floo to return home?"

Estella lowered her head, her bottom lip quivering. "I-I-I d-didn't think o-of t-that." She confessed, sinking lower on her pillows in retreat. "I'm s-sorry Uncle S-Sev."

"So you should be." Severus snapped, "do you have any idea how much trouble you caused last night?"

Tears cascaded down her cheeks as Estella began to sob. "I t-thought… I d-didn't mean… it w-was… I-I-I-I-I…" Estella's voice trailed off as she cried more and more inconsolably, her little heart breaking with the thought that her uncle didn't even seem to care that she had almost died – _died_ – the night before.

"Desist that self-pitying racket at once!" Severus said shakily, his resolve crumbling.

"Severus!" The approaching nurse almost shouted, shocked at what she had witnessed. "What in Merlin's name do you think you are doing to the poor child?"

Severus glared at the woman. "What disciplinary methods I choose to use on my niece are none of your concern, woman." He spat coldly, rising from his chair.

"I beg to differ, young man!" Madame Pomfrey cried, pulling him away from Estella's bed to confer with him in private. "Your _niece_ is my patient and you are interfering with her recovery!"

Severus moved to stand menacingly over the woman. "Are you accusing me of not knowing what is best for my niece?"

"The child is clearly in shock, and if you continue with your harsh verbiage she will most definitely develop a severe case of post-traumatic stress disorder and lapse into a coma." Madame Pomfrey explained in dangerously low tones.

Severus paled slightly, but maintained your resolve. "I think, _Madame_, that you are underestimating the resilience of the Snape line." He said in equally low tones. "My niece would not be so weak as to succumb to such a psychosomatic disorder!"

"With all due respect, Professor, I think _you_ are grossly underestimating the extent of the experience Estella has just endured!" Madame Pomfrey said exasperatedly.

Glaring at her coldly, Severus sneered. "You are forgetting woman, what her _father_ subjected _me_ to in my fifth year!" He snapped, "so don't you dare accuse me of not appreciating the extent of what she has _endured_!"

"The circumstances were entirely different!" Madame Pomfrey snapped! "You were fifteen, Estella is six years old! The people involved were your childhood adversaries, not a trusted member of your extended family! Now I am afraid I am going to have to ask you to leave and come back when you are no longer in a frame of mind to distress my patients!"

Severus shook his head angrily and turned on his heel, not bothering to gratify the pushy woman with a response. '_Different circumstances indeed!'_ his mind screamed. When Black and Lupin weren't so much as _punished_ for their foolhardy _prank_, no one cared that Severus had to go to class every day afterwards and _endure_ their constant, reminding, presence. No one walked on egg shells around him, and yet he survived. He didn't cop out and lapse into a blasted coma; and he would be damned if his niece was so weak as to do so either. Storming out of the infirmary without even casting his distraught niece a second look, Severus found it entirely ironic that fate had seen Black's daughter subjected to the same experience as what the arrogant prankster had imposed upon another. Sneering malevolently as he made his way down to his dungeons – stripping a few unfortunate students of their house points as he went – Severus wondered what Black would think of this newest development.

* * *

Back in the infirmary, the motherly old nurse was busying herself calming her youngest patient down; administering a series of calming draughts and healing potions. Once settled high on her pillows, the nurse instructed the child to eat her breakfast and spend the day in bed. 

Spooning a mouthful of steaming hot porridge into her mouth gratefully, Estella sighed. "How did I get here?" She asked.

"Why, your godfather found you and brought you in shortly after dawn." Madame Pomfrey replied as she flittered around straightening out Estella's bedclothes. "Right awful state, the pair of you!"

"Remus?" Estella asked, suddenly alert as she ignored the insecurity that tore at her from the hastily drawn conclusion that her Uncle didn't even seem to have looked for her at all. "Where is he? Is he alright?"

Madame Pomfrey looked at the child closely, a calculating look on her face. "Why yes indeed, child." She said. Then, careful not to say anything about his transformation, she added. "He's asleep a few beds down, recovering from a nasty hit to the nose if my memory serves me correctly."

'_The trapdoor…_' Estella recalled to herself. Then, looking at the nurse shyly, "could you please open the curtains so we can see each other?"

The nurse narrowed her eyes, surprised at the request in light of all that the child had just witnessed, and nodded; opening the curtains with a swish of her wand. Estella, in turn, peered down the length of the infirmary and took in the peacefully resting form of her godfather in the distance with a measure of relief. "Thank you." She said softly, more than just to the nurse before her.

At that, Nurse Pomfrey left Estella to her breakfast to return to her office. No sooner had the witch left, did Remus start thrashing on his bed and moaning. Pushing away her breakfast tray, Estella clambered down off her bed and gingerly tiptoed towards her Godfather's bed. Standing at his bedside, she could now hear the man crying out a name – her name – and see tears streaming down his face.

"Estella! No! Run! Hide!" Remus' body wracked with sobs as his unconscious form was enveloped in a nightmare full of real and imagined recollections. "What have I done? What have I done?" His broken voice cried guiltily as he clawed unseeingly at his sheets.

Alarmed by her Godfather's distress, Estella did the only thing she knew how to do. She crawled into his bed and huddled herself against his shaking body, and holding him as best she could in her small arms; willing away his distress. Finding her own measure of comfort in her Godfather's familiar warmth, Estella dozed off to the rhythm of the man's steadying heartbeat just as the man in question was starting to emerge from his nightmare.

His eyes opening slowly, Remus took a while to find his bearings as the residual tremors of his nightmare faded back into his subconscious; the smell of his Goddaughter's fear still lingering on his nose. Coming to his senses, he was quick to observe that he was still in the infirmary, and that it was still morning.

Sighing inwardly, Remus was not looking forward to the coming days. He couldn't bear to be apart from his beloved Goddaughter, and yet after what had just happened he could hardly blame her if she never wanted to see him again, let alone forgive him for what his inner demon had almost done to her. Silent tears of remorse fell down his cheeks wearily as he could still feel the phantom presence of the small child in his arms. He doubted that he would ever be so privileged as to experience the innocent display of affection and human contact ever again. Making to move his arms to stretch, however, he was startled to realise that the heavy warmth he felt cocooned against his body was not in fact a lucid illusion, but was real. Looking down warily, Remus was stunned to see the peacefully slumbering form of his Goddaughter willingly wrapped in his arms as though nothing had ever come between them.

Sighing as though the weight of the world was just lifted from his shoulders, Remus planted a shaky kiss on the child's forehead, reacquainting his senses with the blissful scent of her clean hair and contentment. Wrapping his arms around her protectively, he squeezed her reassuringly and murmured his appreciation to the gods above for giving him back his life.

"Thank you." He whispered, before falling back into slumber.

End Chapter Twenty Five: Prognosis


	26. Foolish Wand Waving and Silly Incantatio...

Updated: 14th February 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One.

**Chapter Twenty Six: Foolish Wand Waving and Silly Incantations.**

Christmas 1988 

It only seemed like yesterday to Severus, that Estella was celebrating her seventh birthday. In actual fact, nearly two months had passed, and the Christmas break was about to begin. The time since that fateful night in March had been difficult to say the least. While Estella was quick to absolve her Godfather of any accountability, the poor child was plagued with nightmares of the vicious Moony, and could not so much as blink in a room without the lights on.

Remus and Severus, in turn, battled their own respective demons. Remus wallowed in self-loathing and openly cursed his condition, and both men were haunted by the possibilities of what could have happened that night. Severus, as such, had become driven in his desire to develop a potion that would effectively allow a werewolf to retain his humanity – and judgement – during their transformation. After months of botched attempts and half successes, the full moon before school had returned for another academic year went down in history as the night the thus christened Wolfsbane Potion finally worked. Resplendent in their achievement, both men felt suitably redeemed – their inner demons mollified with the comfort of knowing that such events would not recur. Make no mistake, though: Severus was hardly doing it to help the bane of his existence; rather he was redeeming his own sense of guilt in terms of what he had done to Black and what he had almost – inadvertently – done to Estella. It also gave him another delectable carrot to dangle over the humble Marauder's head, thus giving Severus an almost giddy sense of power over the man. Only deep in his subconscious, did the stubborn Potion Master admit that he was really doing it for the love of his niece.

Respect remained the key to Estella and Severus' bond. Shortly after the events of "Moony March", Severus – unbeknownst to the involved parties – returned to the scene of the incident to see for himself what Estella had experienced. The night was something that Remus could not remember in his human form, and Estella had remained tight lipped as to the horrors she had been up against. It was not until Severus had gone to see for himself that he gained a new appreciation for his niece's resilience and compassionate strength of character. Though he could still never understand _why _Estella could be so forgiving so quickly, and his resentful, bitter shell reactively thought she was being all together too _Gryffindor_, a secret part of him admired her. She reminded him of Selina.

After seeing Estella's shredded book bag in pieces amongst the scratched, splintering wood of the trapdoor, blood (both Estella's and Moony's) he shuddered to think just _how_ close he had come to losing her. The ramifications of almost losing the last of his kin drove a lot of home truths from the stubborn Potions Master. As the year went on, he began to see how fortunate he was to have the child in his life; and after seeing how damaging his indifference had been to Estella otherwise, he allowed himself to open up a little and admit to the child – and himself – just how much she meant to him. The pair had become much more relaxed and mutually attentive to each other. Severus was quick to discover, in particular, that when allowed to act uninhibitedly, that his niece had developed his unique sense of humour and penchant for sarcasm.

"Uncle Sev," Estella asked from her place at the kitchen table, where she and Severus took most of their meals away from the prying eyes of the Hogwarts student body. "How come all the students get to open their presents Christmas morning and I have to wait until Christmas night?"

Severus looked up from his Winter Broth and glanced at his niece curiously. "Eat your broth before it gets cold, child." He said softly, "I will not disrupt my appetite with such inane questions!"

Estella rolled her eyes and pulled a face. "Yes _Sir_, _Professor_." She sneered sarcastically, in true Snape style.

Severus nearly choked on his stew. "Estella!" He warned, "I'm serious!"

Estella grinned malevolently. "No you're not!" She exclaimed, "he's in Azkaban!"

Severus glared, astounded at his niece's cheek. Opening his mouth to chastise her, his eyes darted between the hopeful look on her face and the bowl of uneaten broth. His calculating mind drawing its own astute conclusion, he changed his method of approach and smirked. "Oh no, I'm not going to fall for that, young lady!"

Estella shot him an innocent look. "Whatever do you mean, Uncle Sev?" She said with an almost convincing sincerity.

"You know I do not tolerate that kind of cheek," Severus lectured. "And so for punishment you will _not_ be sent to bed without supper…" Severus noted with satisfaction as Estella's face fell slightly – his suspicion was correct. "Instead," he continued, a dangerous glint in his eye. "You will sit here until every drop of that broth is gone!"

Estella blanched, "oh Uncle Sev!" She protested.

Severus raised an eyebrow expectantly. "What are you waiting for, child? Surely you realise it will only taste worse as it cools!"

Estella slumped in her chair and poked at her broth with her spoon. "You didn't even answer my question!" She sulked.

Severus rolled his eyes, "my original response stands" He said simply as he spooned himself another helping of broth.

Estella watched him dig into his second helping with a look of disdain on her face. "I don't know how you consider this pala…pala…"

"Palatable." Severus finished, then smirking slightly he added. "You have been spending entirely too much time with me, child."

"There's not enough time in the world for me to ever like this stuff as much as you do though!" She said, grimacing as she forced herself to eat a spoonful.

Severus raised an eyebrow at his niece and sneered half-heartedly. "Indeed."

Estella continued eating quickly, eager to complete the horrible task. Severus was glad they were eating alone, for she rather favoured a gulping fish as she hastily swallowed each mouthful, trying her hardest not to taste it.

"Slow down," Severus said finally. "You'll make yourself sick with indigestion!"

Estella looked up at him, bewildered, and reached for her glass of pumpkin juice, drinking from it greedily. "There!" She said triumphantly, "finished!"

Severus looked at the child fleetingly, spooning off his last mouthful with much more etiquette. "I said you will not leave this table until _every drop_ of broth is consumed!" He said, motioning towards the serving bowl that still contained a ladle full.

Estella slumped even further in her chair, her face paling in distaste. "You can't be serious!" She said disbelievingly.

Severus smirked. "Of course not!" He said, repeating her joke as he vanished the dishes from the table with a swish of his wand. "_He's_ in Azkaban."

Estella glared at her Uncle, relieved. "Oh, ha!"

Severus rose from his chair and extended his hand to assist Estella from hers. "Shall we floo back to our quarters?"

* * *

Once back in their own quarters, Estella flopped unceremoniously onto her favourite chair by the fire and pulled out her toy dog from under a cushion. "So can you answer my question now, Uncle Sev?" She asked, "please?" 

Severus removed his outer robe and loosened his collar, Estella being one of the few to see him in such an informal state. Lowering himself into his chair, he placed his feet on the coffee table, steepling his fingers under his chin. "What question?" He asked innocently.

Estella fidgeted in her chair, pulling at the ends of her hair nervously.

'_Just like Selina used to do_,' Severus remembered fondly.

"Why everyone else gets their presents Christmas morning and you make me wait until Christmas night." Estella explained in a way one would talk to an infant.

Severus smiled, lost in memory. "Your mother used to do that…" he said wistfully.

Estella looked at him, confused. "Do what? Ask you questions you didn't want to answer?"

Severus chuckled softly, "yes as a matter of fact she did, but rather I was referring to your tendency to pull at your hair when you're unsure of something."

Estella caught herself mid-pull. "I pull at my hair?" She asked quizzically, having only just become consciously aware of he habit. "I pull at my hair!"

Severus nodded slowly.

"Oh and you pinch your nose, like this!" Estella said excitedly, pinching the bridge of her nose in demonstration. "When you are still in snooty potions master mood! And the first thing you do when you get home is take a headache potion!"

Severus' eyes widened in surprise, raising an eyebrow at Estella's description of the mask he wore while teaching. "How observant!" He deadpanned. "Did you not consider I ingest the potion pre-emptively in anticipation for _you_?"

"Very funny." Estella drawled. "Quit trying to stall. I know you're hiding something!"

"What makes you think that?" Severus asked, lowering his feet to lean forward in his chair, honestly curious.

"Because you _always _say my question is inane when you want to avoid it!" Estella exclaimed, then ticking off each point on a different finger she continued. "You try to change the subject heaps, then you make a joke! It's always the same."

Severus shook his head in disbelief.

"You may be a Slytherin, Uncle Sev," Estella said seriously. "But don't forget I have lived with the head of Slytherin House my whole life!"

Severus couldn't help himself. He laughed. "Oh Estella, you are incorrigible!"

Estella smiled knowingly. "So…?"

Severus composed himself and stared into his niece's eyes. "So… I would have expected this kind of question from you a lot sooner."

"Well?" Estella asked impatiently. "Why?"

"You will be an asset to Slytherin, one day!" Severus said smugly, avoiding the subject.

Estella glared. "Uncle Sev! You're doing it again!"

Severus smirked, then inhaled deeply, his mind figuring the best way to explain. "Christmas morning you get to open your gifts from your Godfather and have breakfast with him – in the evening is the only time we really have available." Severus explained. "It is a long standing arrangement we have."

"Uncle Severus, you're weird!" Estella said resolutely, inwardly referring to the long-standing argument regarding the unwillingness of the pair of men in her lives to spend time together in the same room. "I can't see why you both just can't do it at the same time. I should be able to spend the whole day with _both_ of you if I want!"

"Estella, it's not up for discussion" Severus warned quietly.

Estella slumped in her chair dejectedly, her instincts telling her to push the issue at a later time. After looking as though he were weighing out the lesser of two options, Severus rose to his feet and strode over to his bookshelf. Picking up an intricately carved wooden box, he moved back to the hearth and sat on the coffee table directly across from his niece. "Here." He said simply, holding the box out to her.

Estella, looked at her Uncle curiously and accepted the box warily. "Thanks Uncle Sev." She said, "but what is this for?"

"Consider it an early Christmas present." He said gruffly.

"Who are you and what have you done with Severus Snape?" Estella asked, narrowing her eyes at her Uncle's bizarre behaviour.

Severus smirked. "He's bound in his supply cabinet where his stock of Polyjuice used to reside." He said, straight-faced.

Estella rolled her eyes at her Uncle's sardonic wit. "Well, I can wait until Christmas night if you really want, you know! I'm not a baby anymore!"

"Nonsense" Severus said, nudging the box further into the child's lap. "Your Godfather will be arriving for the Christmas break tomorrow and you will need what is in there by then if you are to take full advantage of his presence."

Estella creased her brow in thought, her eyes inspecting the box thoroughly. "I can't get it open!" She cried irritably after failing to locate so much as a hinge.

Severus mentally slapped himself. "You see that there?" He asked, indicating to a definitively detailed carving. "That's the crest of the Black family. You will need to shed some blood on it for the crest to recognise you as kin and open at your command."

Estella looked at her Uncle, mortified. "I have to cut myself?"

Severus smiled encouragingly. "Hold out your thumb, I will make a minute incision with my wand and heal it momentarily." He said. "It should only require the faintest of drops."

Estella nodded her head and held out her thumb without hesitation, her fathomless grey eyes awash with boundless trust.

Severus tapped his wand on her thumb, muttering a charm. Seeing a pinprick of blood form, Estella took the initiative and placed it over the family crest, willing the box to open. Evidently the box had a few tricks of its own as the minute wound was healed as soon as Estella removed her thumb and the lock had clicked open.

"Wicked!" Estella said, in awe.

"Well, what are you waiting for, Christmas?" Severus asked sarcastically. "Open the box!"

Estella nodded quickly, looking her uncle in the eye before proceeding to open the box slowly, revealing two wands.

"Wands?" Estella asked, confused. "I thought people got their wand from Ollivander's? Do people have more than one wand?"

Severus looked forlornly at one of the wands in particular. After the events of March, he had decided it was time his niece learnt how to take care of herself in an emergency. "In answer to your questions, yes you will get your wand from Ollivander's when you turn 11… and yes, some people possess different wands, each with their different strengths." He continued almost reverently. "But these, child, aren't just any wands – they were your once your parents."

Estella ran her hands over the smooth handles, her magic tingling warmly at the slight touch. Looking from the wands to her uncle in surprise, "Oh!" Was all she could say. Then, after a comfortable period of silence she added softly. "But why give these to me now when I can't use magic yet!"

Severus smirked at his niece, shaking his head in disbelief. "Where do we live, Estella?"

"Hogwarts…" Estella answered hesitantly, not sure where he Uncle was taking this.

"And where is the one place underage Witches can practice magic?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow.

Estella's eyes widened in surprise. "Magic? You're letting me learn magic?" She asked incredulously. "But doesn't a wand choose the wizard?"

Severus nodded. "I'm sure you'll find that both wands will work for you in different areas." Severus responded. "You are the child of the people these wands belonged to and as their child their magical signatures have combined to create yours. Therefore you may find that your magic is most effective with your Mother's wand for Charms, but better with your father's for Defence as they were the subjects your parents favoured respectively. Ultimately as you get older it will be of upmost convenience to have a wand that specifically hones your potential in all areas of magic but for the purposes of learning a few simple spells you will find that these will more than adequately harness your magic. They will also be valuable back up wands as you get older. I myself have one."

Estella stared, open mouth, at the opportunity she was now faced with. "But why teach me magic early? No one else my age can learn outside of Hogwarts, can they?"

Severus inclined his head. "Most children do not have the maturity needed to channel their magic through a wand until they are just about old enough to attend Hogwarts." He smiled, "Like your mother before you, I have complete faith in your ability to cast minor spells at this early age."

Estella beamed. "Thank you Uncle Sev," she exclaimed, setting the box aside and throwing herself into Uncle Sev's arms.

Severus returned the hug awkwardly in a rare display of unadulterated affection. "Now come on, let's see which hand is your wand hand…"

No sooner had Estella touched her father's wand, was a man in Azkaban filled with a sudden burst of warmth. A connection he'd felt long ago rekindled in his heart, but it was a memory from so long ago he could not put his finger on it. After uncountable years of being at the tender mercies of the Dementors – even in his canine form - the withering figure of Sirius Black was convinced he was where he deserved to be. Rotting. In Azkaban. For although he had not physically cast the spells or committed the treason, everything led back to him: if he hadn't convinced James and Lily to change to Peter; if he hadn't chased Peter down that street… none of the crimes he was imprisoned for would have happened. Despite the insurmountable love he felt for his child, he felt like he didn't deserve to be her parent. Everything was his fault… and he deserved to be punished. But as this mysterious force consumed him, pulling him back from the edge as it sent warm shivers throughout his body like a wand connecting with his magical core, Sirius Black felt something he'd forgotten how to feel.

Hope.

End Chapter: Foolish Wand Waving and Silly Incantations


	27. Baby Did a Bad, Bad, Thing

Updated: Wednesday 16th February 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One.

**Chapter Twenty Seven: Baby Did a Bad, Bad, Thing!**

"Albus," Severus called for the man's attention as he sat aside him at the table in the great hall one night. "I have a favour to ask, if I may?"

The wizard in question cast Severus a questioning look and smiled. "Yes of course, Severus, do continue."

"As you are well aware, Remus Lupin and myself have, since Christmas, been introducing Estella to the rudimentary skills of practical magic." Severus explained, casting a quick glance at the chair next to him where a thoroughly dressed-down Estella sat slumped over her food. "However, my ever industrious niece took it upon herself to do some _extra-curricular_ reading and try out one of the spells she found on Argus Filch's cat!"

Albus chuckled softly, his eye twinkling. "Ah, another mystery solved! I was wondering who had caused Mrs Norris' fur to glow in the dark like so!" He said, then looking past Severus to address Estella. "I assure you, young lady, that many a student cavorting around the school after curfew have been silently thanking you for preventing Mrs Norris' sneak attacks!"

Estella looked up at the venerable old man with a bewildered look of confusion on her face while Severus cleared his throat agitatedly. "As I was saying, _Headmaster_, Estella's misconduct warrants disciplinary measures but yet short of sending her to her room where she willing spends a lot of her time anyway or enlisting her to assist me in preparing potions ingredients – a task that she also enjoys immensely – I am at a loss as to what steps to take to deter Estella from overstepping those boundaries again."

Albus gave Severus and Estella a thoughtful look, his hand stroking his beard in contemplation. "I see," he said. "Well as it was Mr Filch's cat that was victimised, perhaps Mr Filch would be better served to avenge Mrs Norris' integrity."

Eyes as wide as a centaur caught in the path of a bludger threatened to pop out of Estella's head at the suggestion. Severus looked down at his niece knowingly and came to her rescue. "Well you see, Albus, I wish to punish my niece, not scar her for life!" He said. "I was thinking that since she exhibits such a bookish regard for authority she would be demonstrably better deterred by a evening in the headmaster's office; if you would be so inclined."

Albus looked between the two kin, an uncharacteristic smirk on his lips. "Why of course, Severus! I am sure I can find something appropriately boorish for young Estella to do." He said mischievously. "Bring her to my office after dinner."

Estella paled. Her uncle nodded in appreciation and conducted himself throughout the rest of the meal with an air of smug satisfaction. She tried to draw out the meal as long as possible… but to her misfortune they had hot butterscotch pudding with ice cream for dessert and there was just no eating that slowly, save for ending up with cold, gooey mush!

As soon as the last dishes had been cleared away (and the headmaster had left the table) Severus was leading his remorseful niece to the frightening looking stone gargoyle and up the escalating stairs faster than you could say "Curly Wurly"; the unusual password guarding the headmaster's office.

Estella stood close to her Uncle as the stairs winded around the tower steadily, moving closer and closer to her doom with each rising foot. A nervous fist formed in the pit of her stomach, and as the stairs lurched and revolved she regretted that second helping of pudding more and more. Estella could not remember being inside the Headmaster's office before. Contrary to popular belief, the Hogwarts staff – while altogether polite and mindful of Estella on her birthday and at Christmas – conducted themselves rather aloofly around the child. It would not do, Severus had explained to her countless times – for her to regard the staff as extended family, just as it would be detrimental to her academic development for the staff, in turn, to develop a bond with her in her youth that would impair their judgement of her during her future time as their student. Therefore, asides from Hagrid's position as her escort through Hogsmeade everyday after school, Estella hardly consorted with any of the Hogwarts staff outside of mealtimes and the occasional staff meeting she infrequently accompanied her Uncle to.

Professor Dumbledore, therefore, was a figure of reverence to the young child. Attending school in Hogsmeade she had heard the talk about the town regarding the wizard's most notable achievements. Albus Dumbledore was indeed a extremely powerful wizard – even Voldemort feared him – so the idea of spending time _alone_ with the man in order to be _punished_ absolutely mortified her. Her spirit was dismayed, also, at the prospect of spending time in the headmaster's office before she had even _started_ at the school. Following her uncle through the unassuming doors, Estella could only hope that the incident would not go on her future school record.

After the two men exchanged a few quiet words, Severus turned and left the office without warning. Caught off guard, Estella was at a loss as to what to do, and so she stood, frozen, in the middle of the floor where her Uncle had left her. Peering at her amusedly from his vantage point behind his desk, Albus Dumbledore produced a tiny bag from his robes and held it out to her in offering. "Lemon drop?" He asked serenely, breaking the ice.

Estella's jaw dropped as she approached the desk curiously to see just what a lemon drop was. Willing to try anything once, she accepted one of the innocent looking sweets, muttering her thanks, before popping it into her mouth. She was quick to discover, however, that she had a severe aversion to its foreign, sour taste.

Smiling knowingly at the child's look of discomfort, Albus chuckled warmly and magically removed the sweet from her mouth with a subtle wave of his hand. "Ah I should have known – your Uncle doesn't particularly favour Lemon Drops either." He said conversationally. "Perhaps I would have more luck in asking you to join me for a spot of tea?"

Estella wiped the residual stickiness of the offensive sweet from her lips with a quick swipe of her hand and looked at the Headmaster oddly. "With all due respect Headmaster, but I was under the impression I was here to be punished."

Albus waved his hand again languidly and conjured a peculiar looking tea set that poured itself. "Why yes of course, child." He said simply. "Yet I am sure you can understand that for me to stray from my usual evening routine in order to somehow deprive you would unjustifiably deprive me also. After all it wouldn't be very hospitable for me to indulge myself while ignoring my _guest_"

Staring at the old man with wide eyes, Estella gingerly picked up her cup of tea and, settling into a chair opposite the headmaster, sipped from it softly. If this is how Hogwarts students were disciplined she was amazed how they weren't running amok. Then again, she supposed the truly troublesome were subjected to detentions with the likes of her Uncle or Mr Filch. It was strange all the same, in her preconceived expectation of order, to find the headmaster of the school the _least_ stern and authoritarian of the staff.

"So," the man in question said, rousing Estella from her musings. "Which book did you source the spell from, child?"

"Oh, um, '_Lumos and Other Light Remedies'_" Estella answered, surprised at the particular line of questioning.

"Ah, by one Newton Isaac if I am not mistaken." Albus replied thoughtfully. "So tell me, what drew you to that book? It's rather advanced reading for a child your age."

Estella shifted in her seat uneasily and stared at the floor. "I um, have a problem in dark places." She admitted. "I was looking for something a little more stronger than a simple _Lumos_."

Albus nodded, already familiar with the situation on account of his frequent meetings with Severus. "Yes, yes, of course." He said understandingly. "Yet I am still curious to learn what part Mrs Norris plays in all of this."

"Well…" Estella stated, looking the headmaster square in the eye. "I was walking back to the dungeons from the library late one afternoon and it was dark in the hallway and Mrs Norris jumped out of the shadows and scared me half to death!"

"Go on…" The headmaster nodded encouragingly as the child before him faltered.

"Well ever… ever since _that_ night I kind of freak out when something like that happens." Estella said softly. "So I thought if Mrs Norris glowed in the dark, I would be able to see her coming next time and I wouldn't be frightened like that. I didn't think I was hurting anyone."

Albus nodded his head. "So it is my understanding that you didn't act out of a desire to play a joke?" He asked, marvelled at how a trademark marauder act could be driven by such converse motivation.

Estella nodded her head gravely. "I am truly sorry if it offended anyone." She said humbly.

"Of course, dear. I see no error in your ways." Albus said congenially. "In fact I find your resourcefulness rather commendable. They are good skills to develop. You may wish to re-evaluate your application, however."

The child nodded agreeably, relieved she was not in any serious trouble. "Yes sir." She said. "But if I may ask, what is my punishment going to be?"

"Oh, given the circumstances I am sure you would heed well to a warning this time." Albus said. "Though I am intrigued how you got caught in the first place."

"When I saw Mrs Norris the next morning in the daylight she was still glowing and I didn't know how to reverse the spell…" Estella explained. "So I asked my Uncle for help."

"I see." Albus said. "If I can make a suggestion, my dear?" Estella nodded. "Next time, ask your Godfather."

At this, Estella cast the headmaster a puzzled look; the wheels in her mind spinning out of control. However, before she could question the old man on his suggestion, the office door opened to reveal the angularly stern form of the Gryffindor housemistress and deputy headmistress.

"Ah, Minerva!" The headmaster called in greeting. "What a pleasant surprise!"

The woman in question glanced between her colleague and the small child and set her face into a frown. "I do apologise for my unannounced entry, Albus, but I was not aware that you would have _company_." She said shortly, referring to Estella with barely hidden contempt.

Even though Estella had little experience in dealing with the stern looking woman, they held no amount of love for each other. She couldn't quite put her finger on the reason, but for as long as she could remember, the matriarchal housemistress had exhibited a rather off-putting cool exterior whenever she was in the room. Estella had heard that her father had been one of the students in her house that she had most favoured. She then supposed, that the older woman felt betrayed by his later, criminal actions, and somehow held it against her. In the absence of a history of anything personal transpiring between them, it was the only conclusion Estella could draw. That said, however, she had no desire to investigate the validity of her assumptions and chose instead just to accept the slight animosity. It was not as though the Sorting Hat would ever put her in Gryffindor.

"Good evening, Professor." Estella said politely, rising from her seat and nodding at the deputy headmistress as a mark of respect.

Albus gestured his arms open in welcome. "Ladies, ladies, do take your seats." He beckoned. "Minerva, Miss Black and I were just discussing the finer arts of _spell application_, weren't we Estella?"

Estella nodded while Minerva snorted derisively. "Really Albus," She said exasperatedly. "Babysitting now are we? I thought that was what you had Sprout part with one of their House Elves for!"

The younger child narrowed her eyes contemptuously at her adversary, offended at the implications the woman was making. Estella could sense a history of discontentment in the woman in regards to her existence at Hogwarts and apparent exhaustive use of school resources. Honestly, where would the woman rather Estella live? Surely the guarded transfiguration teacher did not wish for her to return to the horrible Asylum – a place she could thankfully no longer remember, but had heard enough about. Even at his maddest, her Uncle had never, ever, threatened to send her back there.

Sensing the myriad of emotions passing through Estella's expressive eyes, Albus decided to intervene. "Minerva, we have discussed this." He said firmly. "Need I not remind you that Severus Snape is an asset to this school and I have merely done everything I could do to accommodate…"

"I will not condone such _special_ treatment!" The by-the-book deputy head interrupted.

"Special treatment?" Albus asked, surprised. "I treat Severus no differently than I would any other member of my staff. When Professor Sprout's husband was ill did he not receive treatment in the infirmary so that Irma could be close to him? And what of the time your own sister had lost her husband and she stayed in your quarters for a month? This institution is amenable to the needs of _all_ its staff, Minerva. However small or great they may be."

Minerva drew breath exasperatedly and exhaled sharply through clenched teeth, opening her mouth to speak.

"No, Minerva, I won't hear of it." Albus said, holding up his hand. "Just because Gryffindor House has a instilled rivalry with Slytherin House, it doesn't excuse its respective staff of behaving with childish jealousy and petty foolhardiness."

The chastised woman merely glared at her superior with her lips pressed in a thin line. Estella, meanwhile, was feeling increasingly uncomfortable, and wished that her chair would just swallow her whole. Sensing this, Albus turned his attentions to the child with a warm smile on his face.

"Thankyou dear, for our enlightening conversation." He said sincerely. "If you wish to return to your Uncle now I shall permit you use of my floo."

"Yes thankyou Headmaster!" Estella said, relieved to stand from her seat and move away from the stern old woman beside her with barely a nod of farewell. "Thankyou for your advice."

"Ah, such a polite little thing," the headmaster cooed in a grandfatherly fashion as he rose from his chair and led Estella to the fireplace, a bag of floo powder appearing from one of his robes' many pockets. "Do try to visit again soon, child. You have yet to meet Fawkes."

Estella nodded slowly and gingerly accepted a pinch of powder from the headmaster's bag. She wasn't quite sure who Fawkes was, but as she threw the powder into the fire and stepped into the flames she knew she would not be returning of her own volition. Not only was there something about the man and his twinkling eyes that slightly unnerved her, but should her Uncle come to think that she actually enjoyed her _punishment _with the headmaster, the next time she misbehaved he would most certainly have her slaving away at some ghastly detail under the watchful supervision of Mr Filch!

Tumbling through the fireplace and out into the living room of her and Uncle Sev's quarters, Estella found herself sprawled at her uncle's feet as he sat in his armchair. Peering over the edge of the essay he was reading to cast her an amused look, he raised his eyebrow expectantly.

"How was your meeting with the headmaster?" He asked.

Estella climbed to her feet with no amount of grace and carried her body heavily to her own seat, where she collapsed with a dramatic exhale of breath. "Professor Dumbledore lectured me on having poor judgement in my application of magic." She answered, not quite telling the truth, and yet not actually lying. A true Slytherin answer if there ever was one. "He only let me leave because the Deputy Headmistress arrived to discuss important school business with him."

Severus narrowed his eyes at his niece, his mind filing away her response for later perusal. "Did you learn your lesson?"

"Yes Uncle Sev." She answered, nodding her head furiously.

'_Next time I will ask Uncle Remus for help!'_

End Chapter: Baby Did a Bad, Bad, Thing.


	28. In Cahoots

Updated: Wednesday 16th February 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One.

**Chapter Twenty Eight: In Cahoots**

The inevitable had happened. For nearly four years since the Malfoys had re-established contact with him he had managed to keep Estella at arm's length. After the first year, young Draco began spending all his time with a governess, and the Ministry had backed off entirely, freeing up much of Narcissa and Lucius' time to spend in other more socially profitable areas. The invitations for Severus and Estella to attend intimate family luncheons became less frequent; and it was subsequently easier to construct elaborate, unsuspecting excuses, to account for Estella's – and occasionally his own – absence. However, now Severus found himself inexorably backed into a corner; craftily manipulated and fooled by a fellow Slytherin's smooth operating.

Severus mentally kicked himself for allowing himself to be caught off guard like that. A proud Slytherin… head of the bloody house for crying out loud… and he had failed to recognise the signs of a Slytherin mind at work. He now had no choice but to accept on both his and Estella's behalf, their invitation to attend Draco Malfoy's ninth birthday celebrations.

"Estella, will you accompany me to my office, please?" Severus asked lightly, knocking on the doorframe of his niece's open doorway as he poked his head in.

Estella looked up from her desk where she had been slumped over a sprawl of parchment and schoolbooks and cast her uncle a curious look. Habitually speaking, her uncle only ever asked to speak with her in his office when he had something of upmost importance to tell her. Her uncle's office was to her uncle, what her room was to her – his safe zone.

"Alright, Uncle Sev." She replied cautiously, setting her work aside neatly and extricating herself from her chair to follow on her uncle's heel.

"Relax child, you're not in trouble." Severus assured her, "there's merely a development I wish to inform you of."

Estella nodded and took her customary seat in front of her uncle's desk. Severus did the same.

"Now…" Severus began, clearing his throat. "Would you care for a refreshment?"

Estella nodded slowly. Severus snapped his fingers, summoning one of the staff's exclusive house elves from whom he requested a pitcher of Butterbeer.

'_Butterbeer!'_ Estella thought in disbelief, realising with sudden clarity that the issue her uncle wished to broach with her was something big, for he seldom bestowed the treat of Butterbeer on her unbidden.

Estella accepted a tall glass of the frothy delight appreciatively and tentatively took a savouring sip. "So what's up?" She asked.

"We have been invited to attend a gathering at the Malfoy's." Severus said, getting straight to the point.

Estella shrugged, "who are they?"

"Lucius Malfoy is an acquaintance of mine from school and his wife, Narcissa, is your father's first cousin. They have a son named Draco who is a little older than you." He explained.

Estella frowned. "How come I haven't heard of them before?" She asked, puzzled.

Severus rubbed the bridge of his nose wearily. How was he going to explain?

"I've mostly kept up my association with them while you've been spending your weekends with Mr Lupin," he explained. "I do apologise for keeping this from you, but I had wanted to keep you from their influence as long as I could."

"What do you mean, Uncle Sev?" Estella asked. "Are they not nice people?"

Severus stroked his chin in thought. "Do you recall how Mr Lupin and I told you how despite how _certain people _could be harsh and cruel to people they didn't like, they could still be capable of kindness and love to those they approved of?" Estella nodded. "Well Mr and Mrs Malfoy are like that too." He explained. "They will be very nice to you and like you a great deal, don't get me wrong, but I do not care for you to be influenced by their political beliefs."

"You're afraid that if I spent time with them I would want to be mean to people they don't like too?" Estella asked in hushed tones. "Like my Dad did?"

Severus flinched at the mention of the man, but forced himself to smile. "You have a good head on your shoulders, Estella, I have every faith that you would have made the correct decision regardless of their influence." He assured. "However, should you visibly oppose the Malfoys I fear you won't escape unscathed."

Estella stared at her uncle, her eyes wide. "They wouldn't like me anymore and be _mean_?" She gasped, shaken.

Severus nodded gravely. "It is imperative that you speak only when necessary while we are there and pretend to agree with anything you fear would upset them otherwise." He said imploringly. "Do you think you could be a little… Slytherin?"

Estella nodded softly, not quite sure of what she was agreeing to do. Severus noted her concern and locked eyes with her, his eyes determined. "Don't fear child, I will be right by your side. Follow my lead and you will be fine."

Estella nodded, more surely this time, and Severus took a long refreshing draft of his Butterbeer. By Merlin how he hoped he had done a good enough job raising his niece to enable her to emerge from the snake's pit he was leading her into. His only reassurance, was his niece's newfound proficiency with a wand. Ever since that Christmas nine months previously, both Severus and Remus had taken it upon themselves to tutor Estella in the spells most valuable in self preservation.

* * *

"How will we be getting there?" Estella asked the next morning over breakfast. 

"The invitation will become a port key at the time specified," Severus replied, ingesting the rest of his coffee stonily. "Which is only twenty minutes from now, so hurry up and finish your tea!"

Estella pushed her cup aside and blanched. "I don't want anymore Uncle Sev, my tummy hurts." She said quietly. "What if they don't like me?"

Severus sighed, and after a moment's thought, summoned a vial from his potions cupboard. "Here," he said, uncorking the lid and extending the vial towards his niece. "Drink this, it will mollify your anxiety. I assure you there's no reason to be so nervous."

Estella took the vial from her uncle's outstretched hand and toyed with it in her hand. "I know what a calming draught does Uncle Sev," She said, administering herself the potion after examining its contents fleetingly. "Thank you, I feel so much better already."

Severus nodded in response and vanished the cups away. "Now, do you remember what we discussed?"

Estella nodded, seriously. "Only speak when it's absolutely necessary. Stay in the same room as you. Follow your example and give _Slytherin_ answers to everything!"

Severus cocked his head to the side. "And do you have your wands?"

"Out of sight, just like you said." Estella said, patting her torso. "And they won't come out unless I am threatened. It's always better to be underestimated and have the element of surprise."

"That's right, Estella." Severus said, nodding, "anything else?"

"Don't talk about Remus or any of the things that go on in these walls."

"And why is that?" Severus checked, "in the event that they ask?"

"What happens at home, stays at home." Estella recited.

Severus smirked. "A Slytherin answer if there ever was one." He said, then, rising from his chair. "Stay here, I have something for you."

Estella watched her Uncle leave with a measure of intrigue. Rising from her chair and leaning against its arm, waiting, she crossed her arms expectantly across her chest in a oh-so-familiar gesture.

Moments later, Severus emerged from his room wearing an elaborate black cloak, a impressively appointed silver clasp fashioned in the likeness of the Snape family crest completing the ensemble. In his arms was a folded garment in his arms. It was a cloak… but not just any cloak.

Unfolding the cloak carefully, he wrapped it around Estella's neck loosely, pleased when he noted the precise fit. "I would like for you to wear this today. Do not remove it under any circumstances."

Estella brushed her uncle's hands away impatiently, intent on doing up the clasp on her own. "What if I get hot?"

Severus smoothed out the ridges of the cloak on his niece's shoulders and stood back to admire her sophisticated form. "The cloak is charmed with temperature control… as well as a few protective charms for peace of mind." He said. "Now swear to me you won't remove it."

Estella nodded. "I swear."

Severus inclined his head gratefully and placed his hand between his niece's shoulder blades, nudging her towards a mirror he moved out of his room earlier that morning. "Come, have a look at yourself. You look positively impressive." He said, a hint of pride in his voice. "Like a true _pureblood_."

Estella stared at the reflection of her Uncle as he stood behind her before turning her attention to the amazing cloak he had bestowed upon her, watching, transfixed, as the midnight blue material shimmered lively as the light caught it and the folds fell and swished as she moved.

"I _am_ a pureblood!" She said factually, then, peering at the detail on her own bejewelled clasp she added. "Is that the _Black_ family crest?"

Severus nodded, placing his hands on his niece's shoulders. "As a most mundane and archaic custom amongst _traditional_ pureblood families it would be anticipated that you would wear it." Severus said. "For all intensive purposes we must appear to share the same principles." Then, pulling out his wand he took a step back from his niece. "Now, about your hair…"

Estella spun around to face her Uncle, her father's wand materialising in her hand but it was too late, he had already charmed her hair into a slick, unalterable style, giving her a mature, distinguished look.

"_Now_ you look like a _pureblood_." Severus smirked. "Remember to always stay on your guard while we are there, Estella. Your hesitation just now could have spurned even more devastating results."

Estella cringed, spinning back around to look at what her Uncle had done. "My hair!" She shrieked, "what have you done to my hair!"

Severus placed a placating hand on his niece's head, silencing her. "I have merely made you presentable to the inquisitive eyes of the Malfoys." He said. "Now come along, it's time to depart."

Estella stood still as stone as her uncle came up close behind her and stretched his arms out in front of her, the innocent looking piece of parchment in his hands. "Now, hold grab a hold of the Portkey, Estella, and do not let go until I give you permission to do so."

Estella nodded wordlessly and within seconds of her gripping the edge of the parchment the pair felt the slight tug at their navels as they were whisked away.

End Chapter: In Cahoots.


	29. Meet the Malfoys

Updated: Friday, February 18 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Twenty Nine: Meet The Malfoys **

Landing within the informal embrace of her uncle's arms, Estella was able to keep her footing as they appeared in front of an impressive stone manor.

"_This_ is where they live?" Estella whispered in surprise as she looked up at her Uncle in question.

Severus nodded, thankful that for any wandering ears, it would appear his niece was looking down her nose at the sprawling estate in front of them – the Black and Snape estates were after all notorious for their grandeur. Leaning down to whisper in his niece's ear, he reminded her of that status.

Standing aside his niece, he took her arm gentlemanly and escorted her up the steps to the main entrance. The doors opened, unbidden, upon their approach to reveal a tall, slender blonde woman with severe features.

"Ah Severus," She cried in welcome as she ushered them into the manor's entrance hall. "How pleasant of you to accept our invitation."

Severus nodded in inclination and bowed, gently taking the woman's extended hand in his own and placing a faint kiss on her wrist. "A pleasure," he replied. Then, squeezing Estella's shoulder encouragingly, he pushed the child forward. "Allow me to introduce you to my niece, Estella Black."

Narcissa clasped her hands together in delight and bent over slightly to get a better look at the child. "Don't be silly, Severus." She cried, "I'd know who the child was anywhere! She's just how I imagined her. Severus you have done a remarkable job. My aunt would have surely approved, may her soul rest!"

Estella looked at the woman curiously and allowed herself a small smile at her apparent passing of the inspection. "It is very nice to meet you, Mrs Malfoy." She said, inclining her head respectfully, taking heed of her Uncle's warning that a person of her breeding would not curtsey to an equal.

Narcissa beamed, positively thrilled, and she pulled the unsuspecting child into a airy embrace, kissing each cheek with flourish. "Nonsense child, there's no need for formalities here, we're family!" She said, "call me Aunt Narcissa!"

Estella eyed the woman cautiously before throwing her uncle a questioning nod. Seeing his slight nod of approval, she faced Narcissa and corrected herself. "Very nice to meet you, _Aunt Narcissa._"

"Oh Severus, she's an absolute delight!" Narcissa beamed, "it's a crime that you deprived us of her for so long!"

Severus stiffened momentarily, "I do assure you Narcissa that it was not intentional. Estella has been a rather sickly child."

Narcissa looked at Estella sympathetically, a calculating look in her eye. "Mmm, yes, she does look rather small for her age." She concluded, "still, you have done a worthy job with her."

Estella shuddered inwardly under her _Aunt's_ close scrutiny, comforted only by the stabilising presence of her uncle.

"Ah Narcissa, I see our special guest has arrived!" A smooth masculine voice said from a doorway, revealing a tall, menacing, immaculately dressed figure crossing the hall to shake hands with Severus.

Their macho rituals over, the man narrowed his hawk like gaze at Estella. "Step aside you silly woman, let me get a look at her." He said gruffly to his wife, as he made to stand toe-to-toe with his young cousin-in-law appraisingly. The calming draught still in effect, Estella was able to push aside her quaking inhibitions under the man's penetrating gaze and, chin raised stoically, matched him with a spirited glare of her own.

After an uncomfortable silence, the pointed blonde man quirked his eyebrows in amusement and smirked approvingly. "Clearly the progeny of a Snape and a Black." Was all he said as he stepped away to offer his hand to Estella to shake. "I am Lucius Malfoy." He said, shaking the child's hand firmly when she didn't hesitate to take his hand. "Since it appears we are cousins by virtue of marriage I would like to welcome you to the family."

Estella inclined her head respectfully. "Thankyou sir, it is a pleasure to meet you." She recited.

Lucius smiled shortly and took his wife's arm. "Narcissa dear, I do believe our young Draco has met his _match_." Then, addressing his guests. "If you would care to follow me, we shall adjourn to the parlour."

Severus nodded, and, placing an unnoticeably shaking hand on his niece's back, guided her behind the Malfoys in the direction where he knew their parlour to be.

"When will the other guests be arriving?" Severus queried as they entered the empty room and took their seats on deceptively comfortable dark leather settees.

Narcissa and Lucius exchanged a knowing look before Narcissa smiled falsely at Severus. "Oh," she said flippantly, "we decided to scale down the celebrations this year."

"You're the only ones who accepted our invitation." Lucius contributed with sickening sincerity.

"Is that so?" Severus said coolly, his eyes darkening in suspicion. Next to him, Estella subtly shifted closer.

"Uncle Severus!" a young voice cried from a unknown doorway. "You came!"

The adults in the room rose from their chairs and turned to face the approaching form of Draco Malfoy. Estella froze in her seat then rose stiffly to stand at _her_ uncle's side. Seeing her, Draco stopped mid-step.

"Oh, you must be Estella." Draco said, extending his hand. "I'm Draco, Draco Malfoy."

"Indeed." Estella replied shortly, raising an eyebrow in perfect imitation of her uncle as she stood possessively in front of Severus to accept Draco's hand. "Many happy returns for the occasion of your birthday."

Draco nodded his head in acknowledgement, continuing to stare obtrusively at the girl he had up until that moment, only heard about. "Do you fly?"

Estella turned her nose up at him in distaste. "I have yet to ride a broom." She said with disdain. "I have much less frivolous things to do to occupy my time."

Severus explained. "My niece has proven quite astute in my Potions Lab."

"Why is that no surprise?" Narcissa smiled. "Draco, dear, perhaps you would like to show Estella your Potions Lab."

Draco nodded, smirking with satisfaction when he saw Estella's face fall open in surprise.

"You have your own Potions Lab?" She asked in awe, and a slight amount of envy.

Draco nodded smugly and gestured for her to follow. "Shall I show you?"

Estella hesitated. Seeing this, Severus cleared his throat. "I should very much like to see this _lab_ of yours for myself," Severus requested. "Lucius, Narcissa, if you would grant my leave?"

"Shall we all go, then?" Lucius stated, not waiting for confirmation as he strode ahead of his son and into the inner bowels of the house.

Narcissa curtly shooed at Severus and Estella who walked with the younger Malfoy heir. "If you'd excuse my absence, I shall go oversee the party preparations."

Draco's lab, it turns out, was in a transformed room on the third floor, across from his private rooms. While the equipment was state of the art, and the resources admirable, Estella much rather preferred the efficient sparsity of her uncle's lab. Striding around the room appraisingly with her hands clasped behind her back (not unlike her Uncle when he would observe a class at work) while Severus and Lucius discussed specifics in the doorway, Estella made a mental list of criticisms.

"Well?" Draco asked boastingly. "Is this one of the best Potions Labs you have seen or what?"

Estella whirled around disdainfully to face the taller boy who was leaning languidly against a polished mahogany workbench. "Well, for aesthetic value alone it is surely impressive," she conceded, watching the smug look on Draco's face solidify. "However," she added slyly, determined to bring the annoying materialistic boy in front of her down a peg or two. "Do you realise that excessive exposure to UV rays like what these windows will inflict upon your ingredients will spoil the more sensitive potions?"

Draco looked, aghast, at his father and bona fide uncle. "Is this true, Father? Uncle Severus?"

Lucius looked to Severus for confirmation, the darker haired man being the unquestionable authority on the subject. "Indeed it is true," Severus said smugly. "Well done Estella for remembering that little piece of information."

Estella nodded politely. "Perhaps if the windows were charmed to repel the harmful light it will counter the effects." She suggested, "although the most appropriate location for a lab is underground. The atmosphere there is much less volatile."

"Oh I am certain the environment could be recreated with the right charms," Severus assured. "Such ministrations impact insignificantly upon a potion's potency."

'_But they interfere all the same!'_ Estella shared a look with her equally perfectionist Uncle.

Lucius nodded. "I will see to it that it is done." He acquiesced, "I would have situated the lab in the manor's dungeons if not for their _current occupation_. Besides you know how Narcissa can be about such things, Severus."

"I do recall." Severus replied, keeping a distracting eye on his niece's body language.

"So, anything else _wrong_ with my _private _lab?" Draco asked defensively, taken aback that his intended audience was not swooning and ogling his good fortune as he was so accustomed.

"Well oiled oak is a more deflective work surface than polished mahogany." Estella said. "It doesn't look as impressive, but these benches are far too porous."

"That will only be of concern if I make a habit of spilling my potions, right Father?" Draco asked, his face reddening.

Estella shrugged and moved to look at the shelves of bottled ingredients. "Did you prepare these ingredients all by yourself?" She enquired.

"Yes of course," Draco said proudly. "This _is_ my private lab!"

Estella smirked, looking at the arrogant boy triumphantly. "You mislabelled this jar of shrivelled dragons nails here." She pointed helpfully. "They look to me like they are dried frogs legs."

Sure enough, Estella's potions master of an uncle confirmed her suspicions and it was Estella's turn to wear a smug look. Staring at the reddening face of her defeated foe she smiled disarmingly sweetly and said with a sincerity that fooled even Severus. "Of course, I have only my Uncle's lab to compare yours with, and he is of course a _master_ of his craft" she stated. "I would like for you have the _best _private potions lab."

Draco looked up, surprised. "You do?" He asked in disbelief, "why?"

"Why?" Estella asked, appearing to be taken aback. "Why else? You're family!"

Lucius smiled a rare, genuine smile at the sight of his son getting along with a child more than worthy of his acquaintance. As an only child in a highly superior family it had been difficult to secure a playmate for his son that was his equal. Now, it appeared, that search was over.

Severus, meanwhile, looked upon the scene unfolding before him with smug satisfaction. If his niece didn't make it into Slytherin there was something seriously wrong with the sorting hat.

End Chapter: Meet the Malfoys


	30. I'm a Little Cauldron

Updated: Friday, February 18 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Thirty: I'm a Little Cauldron… **

_**flashback **_

"_Albus, I am afraid I won't be able to attend the Halloween Feast this evening." Severus had told the headmaster over breakfast on the morning of Estella's birthday._

"_Why ever not my dear boy?" Albus asked, his eye twinkling._

"_Estella has a school play." Severus answered._

"_Yes, yes, of course." The headmaster replied, "2:30pm is it not? Good thing you don't have classes on Wednesday afternoon, mmm?"_

_Severus nodded, warily._

"_And you will have returned in time for the feast, splendid!"_

_Severus grimaced. How would he get out of this one? "Indeed." He said shortly. _

_**end flashback**_

And so that is how Severus found himself in the audience of Hogsmeade's playhouse sitting through act after act of inane dunderheads fumbling around on stage with only a _splendid_ evening of Potter worship and over-indulging children stuffing themselves sick with treats to look forward to afterwards.

'_At least I made it through the afternoon relatively unscathed_.' Severus mused.

The afternoon in question had been spent in Hogsmeade in a private booth at the Three Broomsticks having a celebratory birthday lunch with Estella and her Godfather in one of the rare instances where both men shared their time with the child. Estella, of course, couldn't tell enough people that it was her birthday and that her 'Uncle Sev' and 'Uncle Remus' were _both _taking her out to lunch because she was a 'big girl now'. She was totally oblivious to the wide eyes and sniggering smiles people – a lot of them ex-students of his – gave upon witnessing the revered Potions Master referred to as 'Uncle Sev' by a fearless, precocious eight… no _nine_ year old. When Lupin had noticed Severus pre-emptively glaring at anything and everything that moved, the deranged wolf had smiled and winked at Estella whilst cooing to him incessantly about how _cute_ she was and to 'let her go'.

Watching the two of them together, Severus felt the familiar pang of inadequacy course through him. How he wished he could throw down the barriers and rewrite the perception of himself that he permitted people to see. Not only did Remus Lupin do what he could not for his own sister, but now he was doing it with her child, his niece.

The werewolf unabashedly and undeniably loved Estella, and was not afraid to let his pride in the child – or his protectiveness over her – be known. Severus, on the other hand, viewed such openness of emotion as a weakness; for it gave one's enemies something to target.

And Severus Snape certainly had a lot of those.

Casting his mind back to the _delightful_ lunch he had just shared with his niece and her godfather, a particularly cringe worthy memory came to mind.

_earlier that day _

"So what does my favourite goddaughter's debut into the acting world entail?" Remus Lupin asked, in mock awe.

'_Here we go_' Severus thought, miserably, having been overloaded with details of his niece's school play for the better part of the past week already.

"Well…" Estella said, index finger tapping her chin contemplatively. "we're doing _Hansel and Gretel_ and I am the singing cauldron that teaches the starving children how to brew a replenishing potion, only it's not really a potion, just rhyming words in a song, right Uncle Sev?"

Severus nodded absently, before turning his attention to his food. Remus looked mortified.

"_Hansel and Gretel_, Severus?" He asked, shocked.

Severus scowled at the man in front of him, in contrast to Estella's giggles.

"The _Wizarding_ version, _Moony_!" Estella explained, "_everyone_ knows the Muggle version is full of s… _Skrewts_…!"

Severus cast his niece a warning look, whilst Remus not-too-subtly choked on his butterbeer at his Goddaughter's near slip. Estella returned the gaze with a deceptively innocent face and continued.

"Would you like to hear my song?" She asked.

"Of course we would" Remus said, at the same time Severus had said "I'm sure we can wait until your performance."

Of course, Estella only paid attention to the request made in the affirmative and proceeded to make a public spectacle of herself standing on her chair in the booth and singing at the top of her lungs.

"Estella, will you please desist that this instant and return to your seat!" Severus had hissed at the time, wary of the attention his niece was drawing to their private little gathering. "_People are staring!"_

Remus let out a belly laugh at this and shook his head in mirth. "That's the point of performing, isn't it Estella?"

Estella, on the other hand, had sobered at her Uncle's pleads and returned herself primly to her seat. "Very well Uncle Sev." Was all she said before returning to her food, the mirth in her eyes gone.

Remus looked from his subdued niece to Severus and back again, slowly shaking his head in concern. "Merlin Severus, she's only a child. Indulge her a little, will you?" He asked.

Severus glared across the table and sneered. "Why do you think I tolerated such behaviour unchecked, Lupin?" Then, glancing at his niece in acknowledgement, he nodded approvingly. "Thank you Estella for that _enthusiastic_ display, however I don't want you to spoil the surprises of the performance later this afternoon."

_Present time… _

Remus Lupin nudged the Potions Master next to him, rousing him from whatever far away place his mind had drifted to. "Heads up Severus, Estella is coming onstage."

Returning his attention back to the present, Severus shot Remus a withering look before watching his niece take her position onstage confidently.

The _true_ story of Hansel and Gretel and how a kind old witch recognised their magical ability and help them battle their evil stepmother so they could reunite with their Muggle father unfolded. True to Estella's word, the witch in the story proceeded to teach the children a fictitious version of the Replenishing Potion, that would ensure the Muggle woodcutter and his magical children would not starve (they had already ridded themselves of the evil stepmother by transfiguring her into a turkey and having her for Christmas lunch in the previous act). And so Estella's song began:

"I'm a little cauldron

short and round

here is my ladle

stirs round and round

then the potion's ready

at the sound

Pour into vials

Not on the ground…"

…and so the song continued.

As the show was finishing and the crowd were applauding, Remus turned to the silent Potions Master and smiled. "A role quite befitting of a Potion Master's niece, I should say, don't you think, Severus?"

Severus allowed himself a smirk, his dark eyes swirling with proud emotions. "Indeed" was all he said, nodding in agreement.

"Fought tooth and nail for that part, you realise." Remus continued. "Turned down the leading role!"

Severus narrowed his eyes and glanced between his niece descending the stairs from the stage and heading towards them and the meddling werewolf. "What are you implying, Lupin? That it is distasteful for a child to want to stay out of the limelight?"

Remus sighed. "Brilliant, Severus, once again your keen and penetrating mind has applied itself to the task and come to the wrong conclusion! Don't you see Severus? That child worships the very ground you walk on."

Severus scoffed and looked at the werewolf in disbelief. "One could say the same about you."

Remus smiled sadly and nodded. "I see her but once a week on weekends, you're the one who sees her to bed at night and rouses her in the morning. Don't underestimate how much she adores that time with you, Severus."

Severus nodded. "Indeed," unable to say anymore as their attentions were drawn to the excited nine year old bouncing around at their feet.

End Chapter: I'm a Little Cauldron


	31. Tea With the Tonks'

Updated Saturday 19th February 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Thirty One: Tea with the Tonks.**

As Estella physically – and vocally – expressed her appraisal of her performance, the intense gaze of someone in the distance caught Severus' attention. Across the room from them and watching their every move with profound interest, was none other than Andromeda Tonks and her husband. Having realised that his companion had noticed the presence of the unexpected guests, Remus grabbed Severus' attention and tried to explain.

"I'm sorry, Severus. They came to me and I couldn't refuse them." He pleaded. "I thought this would be a inconspicuous way to…"

Severus spun around and glared at the interfering menace before him. "You _fool_, Lupin!" He snarled. "Have you any idea who could be watching?"

Remus sighed. "Yes Severus. I do." He said wearily. "But at least you will be able to say you did not plan this."

Estella, who had long since ceased her prattling, looked between her two Uncles, a confused look on her features. "Uncle Sev? Uncle Remus? What…"

Before Estella could finish her sentence, however, she was interrupted by a woman's voice. "Hello Severus, Remus." Andromeda Tonks said nervously, her eyes not leaving the child at the centre of it all. "It's been a long time."

"Indeed." Severus said gruffly, casting his mind back to his sister's wedding – an event that seemed a lifetime ago now in light of all that had happened since. "What brings you to Hogsmeade, Andromeda?"

Andromeda inclined her head to the husband flanking side. "You remember my Husband Ted, don't you Severus?" She asked by way of passing introduction. "I had heard from an old friend…" (at this she looked at Remus) "…that the school in Hogsmeade was putting on the play of _'Hansel and Gretel'_ and I had wanted to show my husband how the story truly plays out in _our _world." She paused again, awaiting Severus' curt nod of acknowledgement. Ted Tonks was none other than a fully-fledged Muggle. "Anyhow, imagine our surprise – and delight – when we saw who was in the cast!"

Feeling the gaze of several sets of eyes, Estella turned forthrightly to get a better look at the strange woman and her peculiarly dressed husband who had imposed themselves upon their previously cosy and _private_ conversation. Taking in the woman's nervous disposition and the hungry look in her eyes, Estella took a slight step back, enveloping herself in the familiar warmth of her Godfather's form. "Uncle Sev?" She asked quietly in question.

Severus cleared his throat. "This is Andromeda Tonks, and her husband Ted. You may be vaguely familiar with their daughter Nymphadora who graduated a few months ago." Severus said monotonously, waving his hand at each person in turn. "Andromeda is your father's cousin."

Understanding flooded Estella's features. "Oh, like _Aunt_ Narcissa?" She asked no one in particular. Even in the said woman's absence, she accented the word 'Aunt', as though it were a quaint joke. She was exceedingly surprised that she had been having dinner in the great hall in the presence of a once-removed cousin for the past seven years and no one had thought to mention it until now. Raising her voice to address her newfound extended family, she offered her hand in greeting. "Pleased to meet you." Then, her mind finally placing a face to the name, she added. "Your daughter is a really good metamorphagus."

Thrilled, Andromeda forwent Estella's outstretched hand in favour of a bone crushing hug. "Well look at you! Practically grown up already!" Andromeda fussed. "Look Ted, isn't she just adorable? So polite! Nymphadora would do well to take a leaf out of her book, mmm Ted?"

"She prefers to be called Tonks, heaven knows why!" Ted Tonks stepped forward to shake hands with Severus and Remus. "Always throws a fit whenever we call her otherwise, in public or no. Kids, eh?"

Severus glared coolly at the easy-going middleclass man whilst Remus nodded conspiringly. As Severus' gaze befell his sister's cousin-in-law, the woman addressed him.

"So I see you have already introduced Estella to my sister." Andromeda said tightly, with a sad look on her face. In orchestrating this 'spontaneous' rendezvous, Remus had explained to her the machinations of Severus' actions and made her aware of the risks he was up against, but it still hurt to know that she and her family were effectively cut out of the life of a child they would, under different circumstances, been otherwise entitled to see grow. Sirius had always looked upon their Nymphadora as something of a kid sister, after all.

Nodding affirmatively, Severus pulled his niece back from the woman's reach. "It was such a _pleasant _surprise to cross paths with you like this, Andromeda, Ted." He said with mock sincerity. "Yet I regret that Estella and I have a most pressing engagement to attend at the Castle. I am sure Nymphadora has told you all about the Halloween Feast?"

'_There_.' Severus thought to himself smugly, glad to finally gain something out of his enforced obligation to attend the blasted event.

Andromeda beamed. "Of course! Halloween!" She cried. "A very Happy Birthday to you, my dear. Nine years old! Would you look at that, Ted! Nine years!"

Estella looked at her 'cousin' in shock, before muttering her thanks.

"Severus, you surely must be able to spare a few moments for a wee cup of tea?" Andromeda pleaded, casting a questioning look at Remus as though pulling him up on his cue. "We really would like to give Estella something in _private_."

"Come on Severus, the feast doesn't start for another hour." Remus said, leaving Severus little escape. "What will it hurt?"

Casting a withering glare at the officious werewolf who he just knew had set this all up – right down to the number of lumps of sugar he was planning on dive bombing in his proposed cup of tea – Severus folded. Seeing her Uncle's reluctant consent, Estella looked between the men in her life and this newly found cousin with a bewildered look on her face. As all five of them made their way towards a secluded booth in the teahouse that occupied the playhouse's foyer, Estella voiced her opinion.

"Thankyou for your kind gesture," she said to the Tonks. "But you didn't have to get me anything. There's no need to go to so much trouble… if there's someplace else you need to be we don't have to have tea…"

"Nonsense!" Andromeda and Remus both said at the same time, setting Estella in her place and ruining Severus' last hope for reprieve.

Shrugging almost unseeingly at her uncle in unspoken defeat, she allowed herself to be led into the teahouse to be doted on by her long lost relatives. Her gift, as it turned out, was an old, leather-bound photo album embossed with the Black family crest. Inside it were pictures of her father with (and without) various members of his family and extended family dated from his birth right through to his time at Hogwarts. After that the supply of family pictures had petered out, but were, as Estella noted, readily supplemented by the collection her mother had amassed from their time at school together. Touched deeply by the gesture, Estella found she felt much more at ease and comfortable around Andromeda than she did around the other Black sister, Narcissa. Where the latter was Slytherin to the core and altogether cunning, manipulative and false, Andromeda was the polar opposite.

After her experience with dealing with the Malfoys, Estella didn't have to be told why she had been kept from knowing the Tonks. Three quarters of an hour had passed all too quickly for the reunited family and as they parted to go their respective ways, both parties had the firm resolve of ensuring the 'chance' encounter was not just a once-off. Having been thoroughly enthralled by her very first encounter with a real life Muggle, Estella spent the entire trip back to the castle brainstorming ideas on how she could go and experience a bit of the Muggle world – and catch up with the Tonks' – without the Malfoys or any of her Uncle's politically bigoted 'friends' ever finding out.

The day had shaped up to be one of Estella's best birthdays ever… and that was before they even got to the Halloween Feast!

End Chapter: Tea With the Tonks'


	32. Homecoming

Updated: 19th February 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Thirty Two: Homecoming **

After months of pleading, Estella finally convinced her Uncle to allow her to go and experience some of what the Muggle world had to offer. Strange as it was, Estella had never seen Remus' home. Her Godfather lived in Muggle London and while she'd spent plenty of days with her Godfather where he had collected her from Hogwarts and taken her to Hogsmeade or took her exploring around the castle, she had never spent a night away from her Uncle. Well, that night in the tunnel under the Whomping Willow and the time in the Asylum being the exception. Now, as the mid term break rapidly approached, Estella was more excited than she had ever been in her entire life. Not only was she going to spend an entire week with her Godfather, but she was going to spend the duration in the Muggle world _and_ get to see the Tonks again.

"Got everything packed?" Her Godfather asked as he walked in through Estella's open doorway. Estella, in turn, beamed at his arrival and leapt up into his arms. Remus chuckled. "Excited?" he asked, stating the obvious.

"Uncle Remus this is so cool!" Estella gushed, before quietening down and casting a sidelong look at her trunk. "But…" She added hesitantly.

"Yes?" Remus asked curiously, shifting Estella on his hip.

"I um, don't have any _Muggle_ clothes!" Estella replied exasperatedly. "I'll stick out like a sore thumb!"

Remus chuckled heartily. "Oh Cub, you don't think your genius Godfather didn't already think of that?" He said, smiling. "It's already covered. Trust me."

Estella squirmed out of her Godfather's strong grip and mock-hid behind the curtains of her bed. "I really don't like the sound of that!" She said playfully, as her Godfather growled and tackled her, bundling her back into his arms and swinging her into a fireman's grip over her shoulder so he could tickle her feet.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Estella pleaded unconvincingly, play-slapping the wiry man on his shoulders in protest. "I need to finish packing!"

"Nonsense!" Remus boomed, waving his wand theatrically and muttering a spell that caused Estella's trunk to finish packing itself. The effect a was rather spectacular display of organised chaos as drawers and cupboard doors opened and closed themselves, sending an assortment of clothes, toys and books flying into the trunk at the end of the bed whilst, in the midst of it all stood the tall sandy-haired werewolf swinging a giggling Estella around in the air.

Moments later, the pair had exerted their hourly quota of 'silliness' and were collapsed on the floor in a heap. Rising to his feet slowly, Remus dusted himself off and groaned as his back clicked back into place.

"I'm getting too old for this!" He said.

Rolling her eyes, Estella jumped up fluidly, shaking her head at her Godfather's antics. "You _always_ say you're getting too old for this!" she said concertedly. "Can we go now?"

His eyes flashing mischievously, Remus shook his head slowly as he stealthily drew his wand and levelled it at Estella. "Not yet," he said softly, as he waved his wand and transfigured Estella's robes before she had time to blink.

"What have you done now?" Estella asked trustingly, turning to face the mirror. Taking in the blue trainers, strange khaki overalls, pink-striped t-shirt and blue denim jacket, Estella raised her eyebrows at Remus in question.

"How could I forget?" Remus said apologetically, slapping himself in the head with his palm before swishing his wand at Estella's hair. "There, now you're ready!"

Estella returned her gaze to the mirror and laughed. On either side of her head sat two conspicuous pig tails, held on either side with gawky pink ribbons. "Oh my!" She managed between peals of laughter. "I've never seen any of the Muggleborn students dress this way before!"

"I assure you it is appropriate attire for a child your age." Remus promised, only admitting to himself that he had perhaps dressed her a little bit younger than her age to maximise her cuteness.

"What on earth is going on in here?" Severus asked, entering the room agitatedly. "I could hear you both all the way from my lab!" Then, after having taken in Estella's attire he gaped. "What in Merlin's name are you wearing child?"

Estella smirked and spun around flauntingly in front of her Uncle. "Muggle clothes!" She said gleefully. "I'm all packed too!"

"I suppose you shall like to be leaving then?" Severus said flatly, already regretting his decision to allow Estella to go. "Lupin, it is imperative for Estella's safety…"

Remus nodded, cutting the other man off. "It's alright, Severus, I have everything under control." He said reassuringly, then as a afterthought added, "trust me."

"You know, you really _can't_ trust him when he says that!" Estella said matter-of-factly, erupting into a fresh wave of giggles and taking her Godfather's hand in a gesture that said '_I'm only joking!'_.

"Don't I know it." Severus growled, then holding out an object in his hand "Lupin, the portkey."

Remus accepted the appropriately muggle-themed white ceramic tile appreciatively, having since shrunk Estella's packed trunk and pocketing it in the pocket of his taupe BDU pants. "Well then, if everything's in order…" Remus said congenially. "Estella, if you would like to say goodbye to your Uncle?"

The over-excited child merely shrugged. "Oh, see ya Uncle Sev… let's go already Moony!" Estella urged in the same breath, waving a flippant salute to her Uncle with one hand, whilst tugging impatiently on her Godfather's arm with the other.

Severus shook his head. "On with you!" He said, shooing them off with his hands. "Remember, Lupin, 6pm next Sunday."

Remus nodded his acknowledgement. "You know Severus I really can't thank you enough for this…"

"Whatever, Lupin." Severus said coolly, ignoring Remus' outstretched hand. "Just see to it she is kept _safe_. Estella…"

"I know, I know… _behave_!" Estella finished, increasingly exasperated.

"Goodbye then." Severus said simply, becoming somewhat disheartened by his niece's apparent eager desire to get away from him. "Leave already will you, I have a potion on the boil."

Taking their cue, the pair grasped the small mosaic tile and with a muttered '_Portus'_, were transported directly to Remus' home.

* * *

Landing haphazardly in the main living room of Remus' London flat, Estella was ecstatic. Around her, was a eclectic mix of both Muggle and Wizarding influences. The room was undeniably well appointed, and yet expelled an air of homely welcome amidst its organised chaos. 

"Welcome home, Estella." Remus said softly. "Come, I will give you the tour later. I'm sure you'd be wanting to see your room first."

"My room?" Estella asked, seeking clarification. "I have my own room?"

"Of course you do, where else did you expect to sleep?" Remus said, chuckling. "Unless you'd rather sleep in the guest room…"

"Well I am a guest, aren't I Remus?" Estella asked, confused.

"You will always have a room all of your own in this house, Estella." Remus said quietly, leading the way up a narrow staircase. "It's been waiting for you since before you were born."

Estella faltered on the bottom step, causing Remus to turn around. "Did… did you want me to live with you?" Estella asked softly.

Remus sat down on the step he was standing on so that he was level with Estella. "In an ideal world you would have lived here, Estella." Remus sighed. "However, your home is with your Uncle. You enjoy it there, do you not?"

"Oh, well, yes of course." Estella said cautiously. "Though it would have been nice to visit with you sooner, and more often."

"Not to worry, Estella. I did not take your Uncle's unwillingness to let you go personally." Remus said reassuringly. "It's only natural that he has concerns for your wellbeing."

"Uncle Sev? Worried?" Estella scoffed, racing up the stairs past Remus. "Now come on, Moony, show me _my_ room already!"

Rising to his feet wearily and dusting off his knees, Remus followed his Goddaughter up the stairs and guided the child down the hall from where she stood waiting for him on the landing. "This way." He directed, pushing Estella towards a heavy dark wood door towards the end of the hallway. "Open the door."

Opening the door, Estella took in the bedroom with wide eyes and slack jaw. The nine foot high walls were decorated floor to ceiling with an detailed, live mural than spaned all four walls of the room. The scene depicted a rolling field of flowers whose blooms actually blossomed and scented the air, an evergreen forest full of friendly magical creatures that moved freely around the walls as though alive, and a amazing expanse of sky that not only covered the ceiling and featured the occasional witch or wizard on broomstick playing a bout of Quidditch, but also mirrored the weather and time of day of the environment outside.

To complement this, the polished wood floorboards were endowed with a beautiful thick green carpet and the picture framed window seat was nestled under the boughs of a great oak tree and scattered with cushions and throws of complimentary bright flowery hues. The window itself, looked out over the Muggle London streetscape, revealing a small playground across the street that Estella made a mental note to go explore. The vertically drawn curtains were like velvety canopy of vines and were at that moment bunched under the main branch of the two-dimensional tree, seemingly a part of the mural.

Under the window seat, were built in cupboards of white wood, and throughout the wooded section of the mural were recessed shelves in dark wood. A Telescope stood proudly on its stand in a corner by the window, and a collection of children's story books and soft toys adorned the shelves. A intricately carved desk that would rival the headmaster's sat in front of the shelves, paired with a comfortable looking leather swivel chair and equipped with thick ivory parchment, quills and ink wells. The wooded section of the mural ended with a cliff face by the bed with what looked like to be a trickling waterfall cascading over it into a small stone pool that sat adjacent the bedside drawers. It served the practical purpose of providing an endless supply of fresh cool water to the bed's occupant, both for consumption and early morning refreshment.

As for the bed, it was a impressive four poster canopy bed, not much different from Estella's bed in her room in Uncle Sev's quarters. The soft, plush bedspread was in Estella's favourite colour – deep magenta – and had no curtains. The bed head was higher than her own at Hogwarts, and was, under closer inspection, embossed with the images of her favoured Marauder characters, Padfoot, Moony and Prongs. Across from the bed was a small, yet inviting, marble fireplace in front of which sat a comfortable looking settee and armchair. A magical mirror graced the wall above the mantle and on either side of the fireplace were doors leading to a closet and bathroom (which far outstripped Hogwarts' famed prefect amenities) respectively.

Turning around to face her Godfather as he enlarged Estella's trunk and positioned it at the end of her bed, she shook her head in amazement. "You did… all of this… for me?" She asked, astonished.

"Well actually," Remus said, perching himself on Estella's trunk so that he could meet the smaller child's eyes. "I only transfigured the bed and the desk."

At Estella's questioning look, Remus continued, playing with Estella's hands in his own. "Everything else your parents designed themselves shortly before you were born." He explained. "If my memory serves me correctly, your father was already planning the nursery within an hour of your mother telling him she was pregnant… and she, being so in tune with him, had already picked the room out!"

"What do you mean, my _parents_ did this room up?" Estella questioned. "Why would they go to so much trouble decorating a room at your house? Were they planning on leaving me with you or something?"

Remus shook his head sadly. Sometimes Estella could be frighteningly dense. "No Estella. Haven't you figured it out yet?" He asked. "This is your father's house. He bought it after James and Lily got married with money his Uncle had left him. Your mother of course moved in with him almost straight away and I er, became somewhat of a permanent house guest after… after… _your birth_."

"What are we doing here now then?" Estella asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "I confused, I thought you said you lived in a flat?"

"To anyone looking at this place from the outside, it _is_ a flat." Remus said. "I am sure you are familiar with the theory of _wizards space_. With your father in Azkaban this house all but belongs to you, Estella. I am merely taking care of it until you are old enough to decide what you want done with it."

"Ok." Estella said, her mouth forming the shape of an 'o'. Then, after a comfortable silence she added forlornly. "So this would have been my home if… if… my mother hadn't died?" Remus nodded, prompting Estella to ask. "Well can I see the rest of it now?"

The rest of the first floor, it turned out, housed a guest bedroom, Remus' room (which was lived in just how Estella had always imagined her godfather's room would be) and, closest to her room and behind a locked door, what used to be her parent's room (no one had been in there since the day she was born she was told). Since all of the bedrooms were serviced by their own bathrooms, there was no need for additional plumbing on the floor.

The attic, accessible only by staircase that unrolled itself when you pulled down a trapdoor, had clearly not been used in some time. An impressive treasure trove of cluttered paraphernalia that her parents had collected throughout their lives was collectively stored there. Trunks of old clothes and books lined the walls amongst the odd piece of furniture and a collection of rare magical artefacts and portraits that Estella guessed were up there because they were too conspicuous to be seen by the occasional Muggle salesman or guest invariably visiting in the house's main rooms. Amidst the disorder, was a Muggle games table, a well-loved sofa and makeshift duelling platform. Estella shivered unnervingly, the apparent masculine influence of the room lending to the conclusion that this was likely her Father's favourite room in the house.

Downstairs, there was a guest bathroom, a study (complete with her parent's formidable collection of books on defence, transfiguration, charms and Quidditch), the living room they had arrived in, and a large, casual, eat-in kitchen. Estella supposed she could tell a lot about the kind of people her parents were by the way they presented their house. Asides from the straight lines and educative range of texts in the study, there was nothing remotely _formal_ about the house; and with the seamless blend of Wizarding and Muggle technologies (Estella was intrigued to no end about the light bulb!) one would never have picked that it was the home of two pureblood wizards.

Below the stairs was a cloak cupboard, and off the kitchen was a stairwell leading to a basement area which, Estella was delighted to note, had once indeed been used as a makeshift potions lab as well as its predominant occupation as a wine cellar. The front of the terraced flat opened directly into the street – a narrow, cobble stoned lane in a area not far from Kings Cross Station that had survived the blitz of World War II – whilst out the back was a quaint sandstone floored courtyard surrounded by buildings on all sides that was cluttered with overgrown planting boxes and rusted outdoor furniture, giving it a feral, jungle appeal.

All in all, Estella loved the house. It wasn't cold and imposing like the Malfoy Estate, and yet it had more than everything a child could need. The rooms – in all their imperfect, rough around the edges glory, were warm and enveloping. Everything from the pleasant temperature to the soft textures of the furniture, to the aromatic lived-in scent were like a big warm hug. Estella felt safe and comfortable in every room of the house – in fact, on some subconscious level, she felt like a long forgotten part of her life was finally complete. Her quarters with her Uncle Sev, although they had been her home for as long as she could remember, felt just like that: quarters. Everything had its place, and Estella was forbidden from answering the floo or touching certain books and objects belonging to her Uncle. In actual fact, she had maybe been inside her Uncle's room five times in her entire life and she had never been allowed in his lab or office unattended. This house, however, posed no immediate threat to a curious, unsupervised child; and Remus was quick to permit her to move freely throughout its confines.

A week just wasn't going to be long enough to explore it.

End Chapter: Homecoming


	33. Muddled Muggles

Updated: Thursday 24th February 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Thirty Three: Muddled Muggles.**

The week was passing way too quickly for Estella. As much as she wanted to spend every precious moment exploring her newly-found home, the Muggle world proved all the more intriguing. So far, Remus had introduced her to the muggle inventions of the television and video games, and had taken her to the cinema and arcade. Even travelling on the tube and on the muggle bus was an exciting adventure to the absorbent child. She could hardly wait until after breakfast when she and Remus would be meeting Andromeda, Ted and Nymphadora at an Amusement Park. Even the _name_ 'Amusement Park' was an enticing, open promise of fun and intrigue.

"Is it time to go yet?" Estella asked Remus for the millionth time that morning.

Remus put down his controller, having just lost his last life on Super Mario Brothers. "It's your turn." He replied, seemingly ignoring her question. "I'll go fix us some breakfast and then we can go, OK?"

Estella reset the console and took her uncle's place on the beanbag as he vacated it to go to the kitchen. "When are you just going to get a House Elf, Uncle Remus?"

"Estella, I live in a _Muggle_ neighbourhood." Remus explained, not for the first time. "Besides, it is beneficial to be self-sufficient. You never know who you can trust."

"Ohhhh" Estella mocked, humming the tune to '_The Twilight Zone', _a syndicated late night television show the pair had taken a liking to. "Constant vigilance, hey Moody… I mean Moony!"

"Ha, ha." Remus said lightly, extricating a cushion from the sofa and pegging it softly at Estella's head. "Quiet you. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me. Egg and bacon roll OK?"

Estella nodded and Remus left the room. Returning to her game, Estella sniggered to herself. "Moony could almost be a house elf's name…" she mused aloud.

"I heard that!" A startled voice cried out from the kitchen amidst the clang and clatter of dishes.

Leaning over to turn off the television and Nintendo console, Estella crawled to her feet and ran to the Kitchen. "Sorry Moony, I was only playing!" She said, throwing her arms around her Godfather's waist as he worked on their breakfast.

Putting down his wand, Remus left the eggs and bacon to fry themselves and swung around to scoop Estella up before turning and depositing her on the bench top opposite him, next to the cutting board. "When you get back to Hogwarts I will teach you spells to do a few _menial_ household duties so that you won't have to rely so heavily on Lena, OK?"

Estella watched on, amazed, as the knife continued to butter the rolls and slice the cheese and tomatoes. Sensing her inattention, Remus chuckled softly and squeezed Estella's knees, gaining her attention as he hit one of her ticklish spots. "You didn't think I'd do things the _Muggle_ way do you?" He asked, then, picking up a completed roll from the cutting board, he held it in front of Estella's face. "Here, eat this!"

Estella accepted the offered food gratefully and took a bite. "You really have to teach me those spells when I get back to the school". She said with her mouthful. Remus tutted and grabbed up his roll, banished the unneeded dishes to the sink where they started washing themselves.

"Don't talk with your mouthful" He said, hoisting himself up onto the bench next to Estella and taking a bite of his roll.

Giggling, Estella nodded, finishing off the rest of her roll in companionable silence.

"Pumpkin Juice, Uncle Remus?" Estella asked, finally licking her fingers clean and jumping down from the counter to make her way to the refrigerator – another intriguing Muggle invention that had her delighted. Noting the older man's nod as he wrapped his lips around his last bit of roll, Estella grabbed two bottles from the fridge. Placing one in her Godfather's outstretched hand, she acknowledged his muttered thanks and leant back on the table opposite the man and took her own bottle to her lips.

"Alright then," Remus said, swallowing his last mouthful and downing his Pumpkin Juice in one drawn-out gulp. Wiping his hands on the thighs of his jeans and sliding off the counter to the floor when he was done, he added. "Let's go!"

Placing their empty bottles in the trash (where the labels were magically altered to appear as 'Orange Juice' to any prying Muggle garbage man) the pair exited the kitchen, bound for the hallway. There, they retrieved their jackets and hats from the cupboard under the stairs before heading out the front door, bound for the subway.

* * *

"Wotcher Remus, Estella!" A voice beckoned them over as they made their way through the busy crowds at the turnstiles. "So glad you could come!" 

"Good afternoon, er, _Tonks_" Remus intoned politely, shaking her hand. "Where are your parents?"

The oddly tressed girl bobbed her head in the direction to their left. "Me Dad's a hopeless romantic." She said, as though it explained everything. "Just had to take me Mum on the Love Boat before ya got here."

Looking to her Godfather in question only to have him shrug, Estella turned to her kin and raised an eyebrow. "The _Love Boat?_"

Nymphadora Tonks shrugged her shoulders. "Who knows what they see in it – it's just a dirty water ride through tunnels of clichéd cardboard cut outs and cheesy elevator music. Romantic Rapids at Camelot Gardens is heaps better." She said, then, noticing Estella's puzzled look, added. "Camelot Gardens is a Wizarding Amusement Park in Northern Scotland."

"And I'm just finding this all out _now?_" Estella cried. "Well that's just typical!"

"Oh you poor deprived child!" Remus mocked.

"My life is wasting away Remus!" Estella sighed dramatically. "Am I doomed to spend my whole life in a school?"

Remus cast Estella a sympathetic look. "I'll talk to your Uncle about it…" was all he said. Severus was a hard man to reason with. It had, after all, taken him nearly 10 years to get Estella into the Muggle world.

"C'mon," Tonks implored, "Let's go find my olds."

Estella and Remus shared a meaningful look before following the teenager down a bright and colourful path. Suddenly, the girl in front tripped on her feet and lurched forward. Remus shot out his arms with inhuman reflexes and caught Tonks before she fell.

"Thanks." She said. "Can't take me anywhere. I'm always falling over myself!"

Estella giggled. "s'ok," she said. Then, taking in Tonk's suddenly brown hair she asked. "Say, did you do something to your hair?"

"Bugger… spontaneous morphing!" Tonks exclaimed. "Whenever my concentration slips I revert back to normal. Shite, don't tell my parents I let it happen in front of the Muggles!"

At that, Tonks morphed her mousy brown hair back to its previous vibrant pink. It was a good thing she was wearing a jester's hat and the Muggles around them were too busy looking at their maps and taking in the sights to notice.

"Aye! Nymphadora! I see you found our guests!" A rapidly approaching voice called out to them. Turning in the direction of where it was coming from, the party of three could make out the oddly dressed forms of Andromeda and Ted Tonks.

"Ah, there you are!" Ted said happily, clapping Estella on the back and shaking Remus' hand. "Sorry for the delay folks. Couldn't resist some _quality_ time with the missus!"

Tonks and Estella shared a disgusted look and rolled their eyes.

"Got to love these Muggle Amusement Parks!" Andromeda said by way of greeting. "Can get away with wearing just about anything, really." She added, in reference to their strange attire – an eclectic blend of Wizarding and Muggle clothing. Then, turning to Estella, she added; "so what do you think of the place, love? Quite quaint, isn't it? Amazing though what the Muggles can come up with to compensate for their lack of magic!"

Estella could only nod. "Well, I er, haven't really seen much of the park yet, Andromeda." She said awkwardly.

"Oh of course, my dear!" Andromeda admonished. "What kind of tour guides we must think we are, turning up late like this! Come now, you just have to see the rollercoaster!"

* * *

Estella loved the rollercoaster. And the sideshows. And the food. After a morning filled with adventure and new experiences, the Tonks took Estella and Remus to what the Muggle's called a fast food restaurant. 

"Course, the service is hardly what you could call _fast_ by Wizarding standards!" Tonks explained as they walked into the McDonald's franchise. "Yet the Muggles must think it's alright because it's something like the largest food chain in the world."

Estella nodded in awe as she took in the electronic neon signage and life sized mascot with red hair and yellow jumpsuit. "What should I order?" She asked Andromeda.

"I'd recommend the Happy Meal." Andromeda suggested. "Though don't ask me why they call it that. It's not as though it is charmed to actually make you _happy_."

At Estella's puzzled look Remus explained. "It's a cheeseburger with chips and a drink." He said knowledgably, then in answer to the unasked question. "Your parents and I went to a McDonald's with James and Lily once shortly after we moved into the house. Sirius and James were determined to eat their way through the entire menu in one sitting!"

"Oh." Was all Estella said.

"So, Nymphadora," Ted asked his daughter as they ate their meal. "Are you all ready for your acceptance exams?"

Nymphadora nodded through a mouthful of her Big Mac and scowled "Yes, but will you quit calling me that!"

The other occupants of the table laughed.

"Remus," Andromeda said, turning attention away from her daughter's rising temper. "Ted and I really can't thank you enough for tutoring Nymphadora over the Summer. She's really keen to get into the Auror's program and your assistance with her Defence Against the Dark Arts spell work has made all the difference!"

Remus beamed at Nymphadora and her parents congenially. "It was my pleasure." He stated. "Only too glad to help. Tonks will be an asset to the Auror program."

The Tonks basked in the glory of Remus' praise. With a pensive look on her face, however, Estella interrupted the conversation suddenly. Turning to Tonks she asked curiously, "why didn't you ever tell me we were related, Tonks?"

Tonks looked from her parents to Remus, to Estella nervously. "It's not that I didn't want to." She said sincerely, "all my cousins on my Dad's side are Muggles and they don't know I'm a witch. I've always wanted a cousin who I could be honest with… but…"

"…but let me guess," Estella continued for the older teen, "My Uncle repeatedly threatened you with detentions if he ever caught you with me; and everyone thought it wouldn't be _safe_ for a witch from a family of such _reputation_ to be seen with Muggles?"

Tonks looked at Estella carefully and took another bite of her burger. "Sucks, don't it?" Was all she said, an unspoken understanding drawn between them.

"Least we found a way to see each other now." Andromeda offered, licking her fingers clean. "The circumstances are far from ideal, and we may never know when we will get the chance to do this again; but never forget child that we're always here for you. We're family."

Estella could only nod speechlessly. Whereas her Father's other cousin Narcissa had said those exact words to her also, she could not help but feel a deeper sense of warmth and belonging this time around.

'_So this is what it's like to have family_." She mused.

End Chapter: Muddled Muggles


	34. Face to Face

Updated:Thursday 24th February 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Thirty Four: Face to Face.**

The rest of the outing with the Tonks passed without incident, and the respective parties parted with a multitude of photos and memories to cherish the occasion for the days and years to come. Initially, Estella had thought Ted's Polaroid Camera to be rather barbaric in its technology, but now she had her very own collection of Muggle photographs to commemorate the day with, she appreciated the novelty. Developing Wizarding photos was, after all, a lengthy process – requiring precision in potions and much patience. It comforted her to know that she would have some images to tide her over until the time she could convince her Uncle to provide her with the ingredients for the developing potion.

Returning back to their terraced flat, Estella bid Remus goodnight and made her way upstairs to pack. In a few hours the moon would be rising, and she assumed she would be going home.

'_But it's only Thursday!_' a voice inside her screamed. '_Uncle Sev said 6pm Sunday!'_

Estella was startled out of her thoughts by the sound of someone knocking on her bedroom door. "Are you alright, Cub?" Remus' worried voice drifted through the wood. "It's still so early."

"Come in, Uncle Remus." Estella replied wearily.

The door opened cautiously, revealing the peppered locks of her Godfather. "What's all this?" He asked, when he saw Estella's trunk packed. "You that eager to get back to the school?"

"Well it's a full moon tonight, isn't it?" Estella asked flatly. "You are sending me home, aren't you?"

Realisation dawned on Remus' face as he pulled up the chair from Estella's desk so that he could sit across from her where she sat dejectedly on her bed. "I'll understand completely if you want to go home." Remus said quietly, leaning his head on his arms as they braced the back of the chair that he was straddling. "But please know that you don't have to. I have precautions in place to ensure your safety for tonight."

Casting Remus a quizzical look, Estella mused aloud. "So you're not going to the Shrieking Shack?" She asked. "What about the Muggles?"

"Estella," Remus said, his eyes downcast. "I haven't been back to the Shrieking Shack since… since… _that_ night."

Eyes as wide as saucers, Estella's face fell into a silent 'o'. "Then where…?"

"There's a room off the cellar." Remus explained. "It was built as a bomb shelter after the war. After… after _that_ night, your Uncle came and helped apply the appropriate wards to contain me during the full moon."

Clasping either side of Remus' face with her small, delicate hands, Estella tilted Remus' head up to look at him in the eye. Seeing the guilt and pain that resided there, she kissed him on the nose and pressed their foreheads together.

"I trust you, Uncle Remus." She said sincerely. "I'll be happy to stay for the rest of the week!"

Pulling back his head to rest his lips upon her brow, Remus let out a breath that he didn't realise he had been holding. "Thank you, Cub." He whispered. "Now, this is how things will go…"

* * *

Remus had been locked in the warded room for an hour. He had explained to Estella that there was no way he would be able to come out of the room whilst in his transformed state – even if someone were to try and extract him – and that if there were any troubles in the night, she was to activate an emergency portkey back to Hogwarts. The portkey took the form of a piece of wool, tied around Estella's wrist. Under no circumstances was anyone but Remus or her Uncle to remove it. Estella doubted she would be able to remove it if she tried. 

The ground rules were simple. Estella was free to roam the house until 10pm, upon which time she was under strict orders to put herself to bed. After watching the movie _'The Goonies_' on video, Estella noted that it was still only eight o'clock. With little else to do, Estella decided to go upstairs and explore some more – without the risk of getting caught out. No matter how hard she tried, however, she couldn't get the door to her parent's room open. Her parents room was the only room in the house she had yet to see – let alone explore – and she was most curious to see what it looked like. Things would have been so much easier if she was permitted to do magic outside of Hogwarts.

Tired of peeking in fruitlessly through the keyhole, Estella pulled herself to her feet and reached up for the chord to the attic trapdoor.

'_Perhaps there was a key hidden up there amongst all the junk.' _She thought as she gave the chord a tug and brought the stairs down. The attic was one of the few places in the house she had yet to explore properly. Asides from the cursory glance she gave it when Remus had initially shown her the house, Estella hadn't really been up there at all. Now that she was up there, though, she found that there quite a lot of interesting little things worthy of further perusal.

One of the first things that caught Estella's eye was a expensively crafted Wizarding Chess set. The pieces were intricately carved out of rich Holly and Oak respectively, and presented in a plush, transportable yew case lined with forest green velvet drawers for the pieces and featuring a collapsible game board embossed with white and black marble. Toying with the pieces thoughtfully, Estella established a pile of things she wanted to take downstairs with her. If leaving Wizarding items lying about in plain sight was unacceptable to Remus, she resolved to see about taking a few things back to Hogwarts with her – or at least hiding them well in her bedroom downstairs. It just wouldn't do to keep such a chess set stored away, never to be played.

Amongst the other items of interest that caught Estella's eye were; a sneakoscope, a rememberall, a dragonhide wand holster and a magical hand-held mirror that had quite a funny sense of humour. Wary of Boggarts, she left the trunks full of clothes and books to their own devices and settled for what she had found. Making one last trip around the perimeter of the room, however, something she hadn't noticed earlier caught Estella's eye. There, stacked in a shadowed, unseen corner, were a pile of old portrait frames.

Curious, Estella pulled out the pile and started looking through them. Faces she didn't recognise yawned and peered at her curiously as she flipped her way through them like some giant rolodex. Warned against conversing with strangers, Estella resisted the urge to talk with any of them until she came to the last portrait. There, standing side by side, in full profile, were none other than her parents.

Dropping the portrait back against the wall in her shock, she startled the portrait's occupants from their slumber and could only watch in frozen awe, as one of them began to speak.

"Moony! MOONY! Is that you?" Her father's sleepy voice bellowed from the canvas. "What do you think you're doing shoving us up here in the dark all this time? What year is it? Who's in the running for the Quidditch World Cup?"

"Oh really, Sirius!" A woman's voice admonished. "First signs of life we've had in nearly 10 years and all you can think to ask about is Quidditch! Oh, remind me again never to get painted while I'm pregnant – the baby's kicking again!"

"'Oh Sirius, let's immortalise this moment forever!'" Sirius mocked his wife's voice. "Think it's easy for me to be in a portrait with a pregnant woman either? With your hormones?"

"Oh can it Siri," Selina cried, following slight slapping noises and a cry of protest from her companion. "You know you love it."

"You bet I do, babe." Sirius growled, before the portrait emitted a series of smacking kissing noises.

"Sirius! Stop it, we have company." She said, turning their attention back to Estella who had remained out of their line of sight and was sprawled on the floor in shock, listening, too afraid to look.

"Who's there?" Sirius asked suddenly, his voice edgy. "Show yourself!"

Hearing this, Estella swallowed nervously and emerged from the shadows, moving so that she could see her parents fully and they could see her. Speechless, all Estella could do was sit there whilst she could feel her parent's eyes on her, scrutinising her, putting the pieces together in their minds.

Recognition lighting his features, Sirius smiled warmly. "Which one are you?" He asked merrily. Then, rubbing his wife's belly suggestively he added, "are you my little missy here… or are we well on our way from establishing our very own Gryffindor Quidditch team?"

Estella sat, mouth agape in surprise. Her father seemed nothing more than a devoted family man with a immature streak and deep seeded love for all things Quidditch. Not like she had pictured him at all, but still, she was wary.

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, her mother withdrew from her shock just enough to speak. "What did we name you child?"

At the sound of her mother's voice directed at her – so caring and loving - Estella felt a lump in her throat form. Unable to form words, Estella stared at her mother with a deep sense of loss and yearning tearing at her heart for what felt like the first time in her life. Up until that moment she had just taken for granted that her mother was dead, but now she actually had a glimpse of what she was missing out on, it hurt.

Sensing the unease in the air, Estella's mother frowned. "What's the matter sweetheart?" She asked, concerned. "You look like you've seen a ghost!"

The tears that had, until that moment, been threatening to fall; finally fell in a uncontrollable cascade of emotion. Opening her mouth wordlessly, Estella crumbled. Her parents, meanwhile, had come to acknowledge the painful possibility that their child before them was in all likelihood an orphan, and that they were dead.

"Oh dear Merlin!" Selina cried, her pre-natal hormones spiralling out of control as she collapsed into her husband's shoulder in tears.

Sirius also, Estella noted, had the gall to look hurt and shocked. She positively shivered with mixed emotions as she saw his image wrap its arms around her mother's midsection – the place where her unborn self was ingrained forever on the canvas – as he comforted his wife.

"How did it happen?" He choked out breathlessly. "How old were you? Was it Voldemort? The war… is it over? Are you safe and well? Who's taking care of you?"

Her father's line of inquisition both warmed and infuriated her. Warmth at the apparent implication that she was loved, infuriation at the simple fact that had her father not been sent to Azkaban and she would still at least have had one parent. Not knowing what to say to either of them, Estella rose suddenly and dragged the portrait back to its former resting place; drowning out her parent's startled protests and questions. Avoiding their eyes, she then proceeded to place the other portraits back in front of her parent's portrait, effectively drowning out their cries.

Slightly shaken, Estella gathered the items she wanted to take downstairs with her and left the attic for the sanctuary of her room. Once reaching the room, however, she found she could not escape. Everywhere Estella looked she could see them in her mind. Her father painting the Quidditch players on her walls, her mother painting the flowers and arranging her shelves. Everything about the room she had spent the past week in just reeked of lost opportunities and what could have been. Estella had never felt so alone and despondent in all her short life. Curling up into a ball on the bed and squeezing her eyes shut, Estella, for the first time in her life, mourned for the loss of her parents.

End Chapter: Face to Face


	35. What did you think you were doing?

Updated: Wednesday 23rd February 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Thirty Five: What did you think you were doing?**

Waking up several hours later, stiff, sore and cold from the elements, Estella rolled off her bed and ironed out the wrinkles in her clothes. Outside, the moon had risen high in the sky, causing a bright glow to emanate through the open curtains, lighting up the room with its silvery hues.

Clutching her arms around herself, Estella looked at the moon disdainfully and thought of her Godfather, alone in the cellar room. She wondered what he would be doing down there while he was under the influence of the Wolfsbane Potion. In the years since the night in the Shrieking Shack, Estella had never thought to ask Remus about his transformations. She knew the events of that night haunted him just as much as they remained with her. It was probably just as well Remus couldn't remember the specifics of what had happened that night, Estella mused, for he expressed enough guilt and remorse as it was.

'_Perhaps if I could show him I wasn't scared of Moony anymore?_' Estella mused some more. '_He wouldn't feel so bad…_' Of course, Estella was still scared of Moony; but she knew that the Wolfsbane Potion enabled her Godfather to keep his humanity during the transformation. Theoretically then, if she were to confront her Godfather in his wolf form she wouldn't _really_ be confronting Moony at all; just Remus in a wolf's body.

Her legs moving as if they had a mind of their own, Estella suddenly found herself outside the door to the converted Bomb Shelter under the house. Remembering what her Godfather had told her about the specific containment wards placed around the room, she couldn't see the harm in taking a look.

Peeking her head around the door – the door that opened surprisingly easily at a light touch – Estella crept forward into the room, seeking the wolf out. Her eyes adjusting to the darkness, Estella could make out the distinct silhouette of the slumbering wolf as it lay motionless upon a soft mattress. Pushing the old memories aside, Estella found herself awed by a curious fascination. Remembering that it was just her beloved Godfather under the fearsome looking skin, she crossed the room diligently and curled up next to the alpha wolf, seeking comfort in its warmth.

At their first contact, Estella could feel Moony startle, shying from her touch, as though afraid he might hurt her.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Remus." Estella said sincerely, "I don't know what came over me."

A pause as the wolf responded by whimpering and nudging at her firmly as though trying to get her to leave.

"I'm not scared anymore." She continued, both as an effort to convince herself of that fact as well as placating the worried wolf before her.

Stroking the wolf's down soothingly in a steady rhythm, Estella bent down and kissed the wolf softly on the brow before rising to her feet. "Goodnight Uncle Remus." She said before vacating the room.

Maybe, at last, she would be once again able to sleep with the lights off.

* * *

The next morning 

"Estella!" An extremely fraught and ticked off werewolf shouted rather uncharacteristically as he emerged from the cellar and into the main house. "Estella!"

Storming up the stairs after searching the lower level of the house and bursting into the said child's room without knocking, Remus was alarmed to find the room empty. Growling agitatedly at the possibility that Estella had anticipated his anger and flooed back to Hogwarts to avoid it, Remus moved on to his room with the intent to freshen up. However, no sooner had he opened the door could the man sense the presence of the lithe child curled up on his bed, asleep.

Furrowing his brown in thought, Remus was increasingly confused by his Goddaughter's recent behaviour. It was so very unlike her to disregard a rule so serious; let alone exhibit behaviour that suggested clinginess and insecurity. Perhaps Remus and Severus had overestimated the child's independence when arranging things so that she would be effectively alone in the house all night. But then, that hardly made sense for Estella was more than comfortable to be left alone for periods of time at the School.

'_Perhaps it is this house_' Remus mused to himself as he stealthily crept across the room and perched himself on the side of the bed where the unstirring child lay. '_But how could that be? She seemed to just melt into the walls the moment she stepped foot inside the place.'_

Absently stroking Estella's hair as he thought, slowly lulling her out of her slumber, understanding washed over Remus' features.

'_Perhaps she felt too at home here_' he realised. _'Perhaps now she has seen her birthright she is truly mourning her parents and what could have been._'

"Estella." He said firmly, but softly, to prevent the stirring child from falling back asleep. "Wake up now."

Opening her eyes groggily, Estella looked at Remus shyly before burying her head in her pillow. His anger returning to him somewhat, Remus grasped the child firmly on the arms and hoisted her up into a seated position.

Leaning in close to the child and shaking her slightly for emphasis he growled softly. "Estella look at me!"

Misty eyes rose unhesitatingly to stare at his conflicted orbs. "What do you think you were doing?" he said between gritted teeth, shaking the child into full wakefulness with each word. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that stunt was?"

Estella's lower lip began to tremble. She had never seen her Godfather so mad. "The Wolfsbane…" she squeaked.

"The Wolfsbane…" Remus continued, raising his voice slightly, "allows me to maintain my humanity during the transformations. It does NOT prevent your Uncle from setting the ground rules."

Seeing Estella's stunned look, he continued in a low voice. "Do you have any idea how difficult it would have been for me to see you again if your Uncle so much as thought you took one step downstairs last night?"

Estella dissolved into sobs. "I'm sorry, Uncle Remus!" She wailed. "I didn't know… I didn't think… I just wanted to show you I wasn't afraid anymore so that you wouldn't feel so bad about what happened last time…"

Remus pulled back from the hysterical child and sighed. "Oh but you must stay afraid, Estella." He said forlornly. "What if I build up a resistance to the potion and last night…" Remus' eyes were downcast, and he let the sentence hang.

"I said I'm sorry, Uncle Remus." Estella said, a little more forcefully.

"Quiet child." Remus said sternly, his voice softer. "Your father didn't pay much store by the rules either, and just look where it landed him! And your mother… your mother gave her life for you and this is how you intend to repay her? By disobeying rules that are set to protect you?"

"I thought it would be safe, Uncle Remus" Estella pleaded. "I trusted you to keep the wolf in line."

Remus sighed. "Whilst I appreciate your sentiment, Estella, it does not alter the fact that you acted foolishly and broke one of the few rules we have in place in this house."

"What are you going to do, Uncle Remus?" Estella asked timidly. "Send me home and tell Uncle Sev?"

Remus ran a weary hand over his face. "As much as I may think that is what you deserve, I am not prepared to weather the ramifications of raising your Uncle's suspicions." He said. "Do you realise, Estella, that should your Uncle find out about what happened last night he would forbid me from ever seeing you again? Those were his terms."

Estella's face paled. "He can't do that! He won't! I wouldn't speak to him again if he kept me from you!"

"Ah, but Estella, he would be completely within his right to do so!" Remus replied. "I'm lucky enough that he chose not to alert the ministry and press charges against me for what happened at the Shrieking Shack!"

"But you couldn't be punished for that, Uncle Remus! It wouldn't be right! It wasn't your fault what Moony done! He didn't even _do_ anything anyway – I got away!" Estella argued incredulously.

"The ministry doesn't see things that way, Estella." Remus said softly. "I endangered your life."

Estella frowned. "Moony did it, not you!" She said, shaking her head. "Even _he_ didn't drag me into the shack! I should have gotten a teacher to floo me home! I shouldn't have gotten lost at all! I should have listened to the wards telling me to turn back! _I _endangered myself. Don't try and tell me any different."

Remus could only stare at his Godchild, dumbfounded.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Remus." She said sincerely, breaking the silence with a sigh. "Now I know what's at stake I won't ever do something so stupid again. I wouldn't want to lose you."

Remus pulled the child into a hug. "And I you, cub." He returned. "I just wish you had the sense to abide by the rules without question. You're going to turn me grey before my time!"

"I really didn't mean to come down last night, Uncle Remus." Estella's voice was muffled by the folds of her Godfather's robes. "I, um, saw something unexpected and I was spooked. I wasn't thinking."

Vowing to question just what it was that spooked the child into mental remission at a later time, Remus pulled back and cupped Estella's face in his hands so he could look her in the eye. "Regardless of whether your actions last night were premeditated or not, they still warrant reprimanding, no?"

Estella's shoulders fell. "Yes." She agreed. "What will you have me do?"

**

* * *

**

For the last few days of her stay, Estella had been sentenced to doing household chores the Muggle way. There was also no morning cartoons allowed or video games after tea for she was confined to either the study or her bedroom during those times. Estella took the restrictions on the chin, without complaint, as she knew her Godfather to be a highly reasonable man. Her actions were, after all, undoubtedly erroneous.

Thankfully, Remus hadn't seen it necessary to deprive Estella from experiencing what else the Muggle World had to offer throughout the remainder of her stay. Friday afternoon, Remus had taken Estella ice skating at a indoor rink, whilst Saturday they went on a tour of Buckingham Palace and went to the Museum.

Sunday, came around all too fast for the pair, and saw them busy in Estella's room, 'personalising it' as Remus liked to call it. He had surprised Estella early that morning with duplicates of some of her most favourite photos – both from her parent's era, to her early childhood, and then some from their time together in London over that week to decorate the room with. Whilst Estella was permitted to take anything from the house – whether it be from her bedroom, the study or the items she had sourced in the attic – back to the School with her it was on the proviso that she left a 'little bit of herself' in its stead.

Remus' room and the living areas of the house, were already peppered with candid snap shots of Estella growing up – photos Remus himself had taken during his many visits to the School. However, asides from the minor adjustments Remus had made to accommodate her, Estella's room was just how her parents had left it for her – a clean slate. After spending a week there it was time to truly make it her own. Estella would pick photos and place them around her room, and Remus would follow, transfiguring frames to hold them up. She moved some of the soft toys off the shelf to make room for the photos, placing some on her window seat, some on her bed, and selecting a small collection to take back with her to Hogwarts. The process then repeated with the books, cushions, toys and clothes. By the time they were done, the room looked truly lived in.

Downstairs too, one could see the recent presence of a child. Her favourite children's book lay on the table closest to her favoured armchair in the study, her Muggle hat and coat hung in the cupboard, and her shoes were by the door. Everything was made to create the feel of two people living there, for although Estella was returning to where her Uncle's had made a home for her, Remus wanted the child to acknowledge that this was her home also.

"I feel like I've been here my whole life, Uncle Remus!" Estella sighed as she collapsed onto the sofa in front of the television when they were all done. "I almost don't want to leave! Do you think we could convince Uncle Sev to come live here in the spare room and floo to work everyday?"

Remus choked on his butterbeer and let out a strangled laugh. "Tell me you're joking!"

Estella smirked in typical Snape fashion. "Of course I am joking, Uncle Remus!" She scoffed. "Why, Uncle Sev would be here five minutes and we'd come home to find everything ordered and in its place like some potion ingredient storeroom!"

Remus laughed at the imagery. "You know you're welcome here anytime," he added, seriously. "I'm sure your Uncle would be amenable to have you spend some weekends here now – so long as it doesn't impede on your education. It will seem meaningless to have me make the trip up to the school just for the day to see you now that you've been here and we've proven it safe."

"That'd be wicked!" Estella said excitedly. "I'd finally have a home away from the school like all the other kids!"

Remus frowned slightly. "You do realise that your family – on both sides – has an extensive range of estates at its disposal?" He asked.

"Yeah, Uncle Sev told me about my family's 'status' before he dragged me along to meet the Malfoys." Estella said, nodding. "But I've never been to any of the family estates. Uncle Sev always says it's safer to live at Hogwarts."

"I assure you he is being over precautious. I don't know much about the Snape Estate, but the houses of the Black Estate are so old and imbued with family history that I suspect their protective wards would rival that of Hogwarts itself, both in their age and effectiveness." Remus said. "Talk to your Uncle about it, perhaps he will show you them over the Summer."

"OK, I will!" Estella replied.

End Chapter: What did you think you were doing?


	36. Harry's at Hogwarts!

Updated: Saturday 26th February 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Thirty Six: Harry's at Hogwarts!**

Estella had spent the first half of the Summer touring the various Snape and Black Estates. Course, Severus could only show Estella the ancestral Black homes that he _knew_ about. Given the notoriety of the family and its sordid dark history, he doubted that the readily accessible, aristocratic Manors he showed his niece were in any way representative of the type of family the Blacks were for none of the houses contained any trace of Dark Magic.

In that regard, the Blacks were not at all that dissimilar the Snape line. The Manor the Snape patriarch called home over the festive seasons – when the family would be entertaining more guests - was not as Dark and foreboding, not to mention as well hidden, as the sinister interiors of the day-to-day home. That was why Severus couldn't stand to live outside of Hogwarts. Whilst he simply would not subject a child to the type of environment a house seeped in Dark Magic would emit, the other, more habitable homes brought him nothing but bad memories. Memories of fallaciously playing at 'happy families' to audiences of bewitched Ministry officials and the like. It didn't feel like a home to him. It was all a lie.

Part of him knew that he could have made the effort to carve a life for Estella and himself in one – or all – of the homes. It would have been hard work, but not entirely impossible to purge the Estates of the darkness that dwelled underneath the surface. Why he didn't take the initiative to build a life for his niece and himself outside Hogwarts was anyone's guess, but Severus knew deep down that he secretly liked the routine and stability that the Hogwarts environment gave him. Over the years since Voldemort's defeat he had come to look upon the Headmaster as a kind of fatherly mentor, and it was no secret to anyone that besides the animosity he shared with a few of his peers in his year, the time he spent as a student were some of the most happiest and _safest_ of his life. In some small way, then, Severus just wanted the same for his niece, but didn't know how else to provide it.

The last half of the school holidays Estella spent in London with Remus. After seeing what she had of the ancestral family homes, Estella much preferred the sanctuary of her home with Remus over the stark, cold rigidness of the archaic family manors. Even the dungeon quarters her Uncle had made himself at home in would suffice for her now she had seen what the alternative was.

With school now about to begin, Estella returned to Hogwarts with the promise of spending many a weekend with her Godfather at their London home. At last she was beginning to feel like she had a life outside of Hogwarts. She had school in Hogsmeade, a collection of estates at her disposal that she may or may not one day decide to make habitable, and a home – a _real home_ – in London.

The Welcoming Feast was a night of much excitement for Estella, for she loved to watch the sorting ceremony. Her Slytherin side was positively thrilled that she was privy to the process that many a Wizarding child spent their youth wondering about for it was an unwritten law to keep the machinations of the sorting a mystery. This year, however, she was looking forward to the ceremony with a little more anticipation. Not only was the coming sorting ceremony to be her last as a guest at the head table (as she would be amongst the first year students waiting to be sorted herself the following year), but the night ahead marked the time when Harry Potter himself would come to Hogwarts.

Estella knew all about Harry Potter. Growing up in Wizarding society it was hard not to. A history assignment in her third year of school had seen everyone write an essay about the young boy's accomplishments, and she had gotten full marks. Many a lunchtime would find Estella and her peers out in the playground talking about what they each thought the boy-who-lived was doing and what he now looked like. No one at her school knew, however, that she had in her possession, baby photos of the boy-who-lived, or that Estella wanted to meet him more than anything she had ever wanted in the entire world.

Knowing better than to share her secret desire with her Uncle – who she knew despised anything and everything Potter on account of the antagonism he shared with Potter senior in school – Estella kept her feelings to herself. She couldn't even explain if she wanted to why she felt this need to meet the boy. Perhaps it was because, like her, he too lost his parents that Halloween and that on some level that would enable them to somehow understand each other. Occasionally, when she would look through the family snapshots of her parents with Harry and his family, Estella would let her mind wander… she couldn't help but think that in some other reality they might have grown up together. As she sat there at the head table watching the first years being sorted, she just knew that Harry and her were destined for great things.

* * *

After dinner, Estella summoned her courage and slipped away from the head table, intending to introduce herself to Harry. 

'_Merlin I hope he doesn't think I'm some star-struck kid!'_ she cringed inwardly as she weaved her way through the crowd of departing students.

Spying the messy black mop of hair by the front doors of the great hall, Estella caught Harry's eye. As though somehow knowing that she was there for him, a strange look came over the boy's face – as though he were trying to place her. Feeling his eyes on him, Estella smiled shyly, closing the gap.

"Hey, Estella!" A voice called out from behind her as a hand grabbed her shoulder, pulling her out of Harry's ear shot. "I've been looking for you since dinner finished, why weren't you at the head table?"

Estella broke eye contact with Harry – who now had a mortified look on his face – and turned to meet the gaze of Draco Malfoy.

'_Damn! Trying to see Harry will be near impossible with Draco on my case_' She realised, reflecting on her Uncle's need to remain 'politically favourable' in the eyes of the likes of the Malfoys.

"Oh Draco," She said weakly. "Why, I was looking to congratulate you on making it into my Uncle's House."

"Oh really?" Draco sneered, unconvinced. "Looked to me as though you were checking out Potter!"

Estella glared at the annoying blonde boy. "Well when I couldn't find you I figured you may be somewhere around Potter, waiting to hex him or something." She snapped.

Draco smirked in acceptance. "Right then," he said congenially, thrilled. "There's no doubting you'll be joining me in Slytherin next year!"

'_not if I can help it!' _Estella prayed silently to any God who would listen.

Suddenly, Estella was knocked off her feet by a passing red-headed first year. The taller boy had evidently heard part of their conversation and taken offence, as he now stood by Harry's side and was whispering in his ear between shooting her dirty looks. Estella's hopes crumbled as she watched Harry's face harden, his eyes becoming cold and distant.

'_Great, he now thinks I'm Malfoy's friend!'_ She sighed inwardly.

"Estella! Estella, are you alright?" Draco asked repeatedly, still holding the weight of her unbalanced form in his arms from where he had broken her fall. Then, seeing where her gaze lay, he added in gentlemanly tones. "Want me to hex Weaslebee into next Sunday for you? Defend your honour?"

Coming back to her senses, Estella shrugged off Draco's hold on her and laughed. Glaring towards the departing backs of Harry and his redheaded friend, she sneered. "It's not worth it, Draco. I've spent my entire life at this school to know well enough that if a Slytherin hexed a Gryffindork, the Slytherin gets all the blame."

"So?" Draco shrugged. "I am sure if my Father were to get a letter from the School under such circumstances he would be proud that I stood my ground."

"He would also be royally pissed that you displayed where the Malfoy's loyalties _truly_ lay." Estella intoned, touching her nose and winking. "Subtlety, Draco, subtlety. There's a time and place for everything."

Draco smirked. "How right you are, cousin mine." He agreed. "Now, would you be so kind as to escort me to the Slytherin common rooms? The prefects appear to have left with the other first years without me."

Estella nodded, her exterior betraying none of the displeasure she was actually experiencing. "Sure," she replied. "It's on my way."

Walking in companionable silence as the mismatched pair took the most direct route down to the dungeon commons of the Slytherin House, the trip was blissfully short and uneventful. Heading towards theindescript patch of stone wallthat guarded the entrance to the Slytherin Quarters, Estella took in the sight of two brutish looking boys standing at attention either side of the unassuming doorway.

"Hard to tell which is beast and which is man, isn't it?" She said softly, nudging Draco. "They look like two lepers waiting for their master to let them in."

Draco grinned malevolently. "I guess you can call me their master then." He said, puffing out his chest. "The one on the left is Vincent Grabbe, the one on the right, Gregory Goyle. Our fathers were part of the same, er, _social club_ and I've grown up with them."

"Oh," Estella said, chided.

"They're hardly as worthy of my company as you are, however." The conceited child continued. "Too much inbreeding if you ask me. Still, they make good side kicks."

The pair were interrupted as they came into sight of the oafs in question.

"Oi, Malfoy, who's ya friend?" The one on the left, Grabbe, grunted.

"She's Snape's kid, didn't you see her at the head table earlier?" Goyle replied, nudging Grabbe uncoordinatedly, spittle dribbling on his chin with each word.

"Wrong," Draco interjected suavely. "Grabbe, Goyle, meet Estella Black, our housemaster's niece and my cousin, once removed."

The boys looked between Draco and Estella, dumbfounded. Obviously the information they had just been told was too much for them to take in all at once.

"What are you doing outside of the dorms anyway?" Estella asked, changing the subject. "You do realise if my Uncle catches you skiving the Prefect's tour he will have you in detention."

"What about Malfoy?" Grabbe asked, stupidly.

"Oh if Draco was caught I'd take responsibility for his tardiness." Estella replied. "What's your excuse?"

"We didn't hear the password." Goyle said. "Wall closed."

"Likely story," Draco scoffed. "More like you were too busy stuffing your faces with all that you could carry that you lagged too far behind to get here in time. Estella, if you would be obliged to divulge the password so that we can avoid Slytherin losing any house points on the first day of term."

"Why certainly, Draco." Estella replied, maintaining her façade and walking about 5 feet down the hallway to where the real entrance lay behind the wall. "Aconite."

At her word, the wall dissolved to reveal a descending staircase. "I'll take my leave now," she said. "I will possibly see you at dinner tomorrow night."

Draco grabbed her hand as she attempted to leave. "What, you're not going to come into the Common Room to hear your Uncle's welcoming address?"

"I've heard it enough." Estella replied. "Besides, I only ever go when he takes me. I'm not supposed to make use of the passwords I know by letting myself in and out. I'm technically not a student of this house."

Draco nodded affirmatively and let go of her arm. "Good night then," he said. "It was nice seeing you again."

"You too," Estella responded, not even acknowledging the other two boys who, true to the analogy, were waiting for their master to take the lead, before she tore down the hallway towards her own quarters.

It was going to be near impossible to get close to Harry with Draco lurking in her shadows.

End Chapter: Harry's at Hogwarts!


	37. I'm bored

Updated: Sunday 27th February 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Thirty Seven: I'm Bored…**

It was nearly Halloween. Like all nine-going-on-ten year olds, Estella was looking forward to her birthday with much anticipation.

"Uncle Sev! Uncle Sev! How many more sleeps 'til my birthday?" The excited child asked, hovering at the side of his desk.

Severus paused in his marking and glanced sideways at the infernal child before him.

'_Darn Lupin and his full moons!'_ He thought. "Until, Estella, not 'til'." He admonished, casting a disproving look at his niece's rushed vocabulary. "I will not have you conversing like some street urchin!"

"Sorry Uncle Sev." Estella said, rolling her eyes. "How many sleeps _until_ my birthday then?"

"I do believe the answer hasn't changed since last you asked me, Estella!" He said absently, returning to his work. "Now for Merlin's sake, find yourself something to do before I lose my mind!"

Stella blinked her eyes, unfazed by her Uncle's mood swings.

"So still two sleeps then, Uncle Sev?" She said sweetly, cocking her head to the side.

Severus gritted his teeth. "Yes"

Estella nodded, turning to leave, but stopping mid step.

"I know this weekend is a full moon, but why am I here? I stayed with Uncle Remus over the full moon at Easter." She asked, turning back to lean on her Uncle's desk.

"The man is your Godfather, not your Uncle." Severus said shortly, his defensive walls going up at the insecurities the implication that his Niece preferred another's company to his own caused. "And you stayed here this weekend because it would have been redundant to spend the time with a man who would only be able to spend only a few hours with you."

Estella wrapped her arms around Severus' rigid shoulders where he sat. "You're my only Uncle! Silly Uncle Sev!" She said, then looking to her Uncle she added in all sincerity. "You know Uncle Remus is just a pretend Uncle, don't you? I didn't want to hurt your feelings!"

Severus spun his head around to peer at his niece curiously. '_Perceptive child_' he thought.

"I assure you Estella, my _feelings_ are not concerned with what you call your Godfather." He explained.

Estella untangled herself from her Uncle's robes and straightened herself up to her full height. "Well what would you have me call him then, Uncle Sev?" She asked snidely.

'Gods she is so like Selina when she's like that!' Severus thought, quirking his lips at many a memory. Then, focusing his eyes on his niece, "Who am I to question what Mr Lupin sees fit to tolerate?" 

Estella shot her Uncle a quizzical look at her Uncle. "But you said…"

Severus smirked at his niece, shushing her with a hand. "I said nothing of the sort. I simply remarked that the man was your Godfather."

Realisation dawned on Estella's face. Placing her hands on her hips indignantly, she stamped her foot and shook her head. "Oh Uncle Sev, you're such a _Slytherin_!" She scoffed, turning on her heel and stalking away from his desk, in a perfect imitation of him.

Severus sneered, his eyes glittering at the compliment. Then, seeing his niece head towards the doorway of their shared quarters, he cleared his throat. "Where do you think you're going?"

Estella stopped, her hand on the door. "Outside to watch Quidditch practice!" She answered, not turning around, and most definitely deliberate in her neglect to divulge _which _team she had set her sights on observing.

"Estella, it's raining out and you know I don't care for you gallivanting around the castle unaccompanied during the days of the full moon!" Severus admonished. Ever since that night she had gotten lost and spent the night under the Whomping Willow, that had been the rule.

Estella turned around and glared at her Uncle hotly. "So!" She snapped, "Uncle Remus isn't _all _Moony during the day you know. And he's all the way in London! The Quidditch team still practices in the rain too, it's not like it's raining acid or something. Why do you care anyway? I'm clearly being a bother to you here!"

Severus was up from his chair and across the room in mere seconds. Crouching down so his eyes were level with his niece's, he grasped her shoulders firmly. "Don't you _ever_ misinterpret my current preoccupation for not wanting you here, Estella." Severus said quietly. "Nor do I appreciate you taking that tone with me and disregarding standing rules, do you hear me?"

"Yes Uncle Sev," Estella replied quietly. "I'm sorry."

Severus nodded in acknowledgement and rose, his hands on his niece's shoulders guiding her back towards the lounge. "Now you will sit and think quietly about how you've acted whilst I complete marking the first year's essays. Understood?"

Estella nodded mutely. But before he could settle back behind his desk and resume his work, she spoke.

"Uncle Sev, how come I can't go watch Quidditch?"

Severus inhaled deeply – in a effort to calm himself. "I know perfectly well which team is scheduled to practice this afternoon, Estella." He revealed. "I know who you've been trying to get close to, and I won't stand for it. There's too much at stake. Especially with Draco Malfoy watching your every move."

"Can't you give Draco a detention or something? Distract him somehow?" She pleaded. "I just want to talk to Harry, that's all."

"Draco Malfoy is hardly the only student you need to worry about," Severus said snidely. "Well over half Slytherin house would take adverse offence to a child of your standing being even remotely nice to _the boy who lived_."

Estella frowned, startled. "Oh." She muttered, sinking into her chair. "It's not fair, Uncle Sev."

"Life hardly ever is." Severus said softly, thinking specifically of his sister. Pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation, he waved his quill at her irritably and scowled. "Perhaps you could write your Godfather."

"Thank you Uncle Sev," Estella said, picking up a quill from the table. "I'll do that."

Severus nodded, sighing in relief. '_Finally, some peace!'_

He thought too soon.

"Uncle Sev?" Estella said, pausing in her work to look at her Uncle pensively.

"Yes child." Severus asked, lowering his quill rather pointedly.

"Could I maybe write Harry a letter?"

"What, and have him reply with that obnoxiously recognisable Owl of his?" Severus scowled. "Really Estella, have you no concept of espionage?"

Estella shrugged in defeat and scribbled aimlessly on her parchment. Severus mirrored her action and returned to his marking, letting the matter rest. Two essays later he cast another look at his forlorn niece and frowned, his guilt getting the better of him. Casting his quill aside, he picked up his wand and waved an auto-marking charm at the remaining essays. First year Gryffindors were hardly expected to score past a D anyway. Satisfied that all was in order, he straightened the stack and put them aside. Rising from his seat he gave his niece a sidelong look before striding towards his private lab.

Turning towards his niece where she sat absorbed in her work, he banished her utensils and unmarked parchments away and leaned against the doorframe, awaiting her reaction. Smirking at her bewildered expression as she looked up at him in question, he beckoned to her with his hand.

"Come. I am starting a particularly challenging potion and I require your assistance." He said, raising an expectant eyebrow at her, then smirking when she scrambled to her feet and was by his side before he could even finish his sentence.

"Splendid," he said, as he noticed that his niece was walking at his side and not tearing in front of him into the lab where volatile cauldrons may cross her path. "Do you remember the first rule in Potion making?"

Estella nodded as she took her usual seat at the workbench on the far side of his own. "Always listen to your Potions Master." She recited.

Severus nodded in affirmation. "Good. Now come away from that table Estella, you will be working alongside me here today." He said, waving at the seat immediately to his left.

Estella beamed and moved to the proffered seat, watching her Uncle in wrapt attention.

'_If only all his students were like this_!' he remarked to himself. _'instead of blundering dunderheads!'_

"Now, for the second rule?"

"One must always keep their Potions kit clean and free of contaminants. A knife with a trace of boomslang skin on it for example, when used to prepare dragons liver will assuredly have disastrous effects." Estella recited by rote. "What will I be learning about today, Uncle Sev?"

"Invisibility Potion." Severus said, a triumphant look on his face when he saw his niece's unsolicited delight. "Do you by chance know of any of the ingredients?"

To his surprise, it became apparent that Estella had all but memorised the chapter from '_Most Potente Potions'_ for she could recall more of the ingredients than most of his Seventh Year NEWT students put together… although, he supposed, the child did have a vested interest in potions.

Estella meanwhile, had dutifully collected an array of ingredients from his stores and summoned the appropriate book from his private collection for reference. "Shall we begin?" She asked, unwittingly echoing her first words to him as she had sat behind a toy potions set not so many years ago. "What do you require me to do?"

Severus looked at his niece's calm, organised efficiency with a measure of awe. "Any potion master would consider himself proud to call upon you as his apprentice one day." He hypothesised with a thinly veiled expression of pride.

Estella nodded flippantly but then sighed audibly when she saw her uncle had not yet began to organise his side of the workbench. "Honestly, Uncle Sev," she said impatiently. "Things would move a whole lot faster if I had my own potions kit! I could have started on pulverising the dried mandrake roots by now!"

Severus glared mockingly at his niece. "Just who is the potions master here, Missy?" He smirked inwardly, not yet willing to give away his niece's birthday present just yet.

"Shall we begin?" He continued, spelling a sheet of parchment to reveal his directions for Estella.

End Chapter: I'm bored


	38. Head to Head

Updated: Sunday 27th February 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Thirty Eight: Head to Head**

Estella wasn't stupid. She knew that her Uncle's timing in making the invisibility potion with her was his Slytherin way of helping her get to Harry. All she had to do was wait for the right opportunity to put her plan into effect.

Little did she know, however, that she wouldn't need the potion after all.

It was just before Christmas break. Estella was in the library putting the finishing touches on a essay she had due that week.

"Excuse me, are you finished with that book? It's the only copy not booked out." An assertive sounding girl's voice behind her startled Estella from her thoughts. Watching, slack jawed, as the owner of the voice took a seat next to her, Estella couldn't believe her luck.

Sitting next to her was none other than one of Harry's friends.

"You're Professor Snape's niece, aren't you?" The girl continued. "Thought you looked a little small for a Hogwarts student. What are you studying?"

Estella looked at the girl warily, trying to detect any sign of ulterior motives. "Estella, Estella Black." She confirmed, by way of introduction, holding out her hand. "And I'm writing an essay on the origination of the Lumos charm."

"Well I'm Hermione Granger, first year Gryffindor." The bushy haired know-it-all returned the introduction, shaking Estella's offered hand. "You go to the Wizarding school in Hogsmeade then? I've read all about that! What's it like?"

"I take it you're Muggleborn?" Estella answered, amazed at how exciting the mere premise of her school was to the Muggleborn students she came across.

"Do you have a problem with that?" Hermione asked defensively. "You know, I'd heard about you from some of the other students. I didn't want to believe you were so prejudiced!"

"I'm not, ok." Estella said quietly, after checking to see if the coast was clear. "If you must know I spend a majority of my holidays and weekends in Muggle London!"

"Oh," the older girl replied, feeling somewhat dressed down. "Your Uncle takes you?"

"No, for your information my Godfather does." Estella replied in a tone that rendered further questions redundant.

"So Hogsmeade, what's it like then?" Hermione asked, wisely taking the hint by changing the subject.

"You'll see in your third year." Was all Estella said.

"Right, third years have weekend privileges." Hermione replied. "I read about it in _'Hogwarts: A History.'_"

Estella rolled her eyes. "Is there anything you don't get out of a book, Hermione?" Estella asked, good humouredly. "Did the hat by any chance try and put you in Ravenclaw?"

Hermione's jaw dropped. "How did you know?"

"Please, Hermione. I've spent my whole life at this school. I know house material when I see it." Estella said nonchalantly.

The girls surprisingly hit it off, and were, before they knew it, giggling and studying together like old friends. That was, until, the-boy-who-lived and a rather hot headed redhead entered the scene.

"Hermione," Estella asked, after a few moments of silence, yet to see Harry and Ron approaching them. "Why do Harry and that Weasley boy glare at me so?"

"I'll tell you why!" The Weasley boy in question bellowed as he rapidly descended upon the pair. "You're bigoted Slytherin scum. Hermione, don't trust this girl! Look at who her Uncle is!"

Estella jumped up form her chair defensively and looked at Harry pleadingly. "It's not what you think. Not all Slytherins are scum."

"You're friends with Malfoy," Harry said quietly. "Are you trying to say he is not scum?"

"His mother is my father's cousin." Estella explained. "Are you trying to tell me that we should judge each other based on who our family's are? That's ludicrous. We can't help who we are related to."

At this, Estella could have sworn she saw a flicker of understanding ignite in Harry's eyes. Meanwhile, Ron pulled a protesting Hermione away from Estella protectively. "Don't listen to her poison, guys, she's bad bloody news."

"Listen here, Weasley." Estella spat. "You have the nerve to call Slytherins bigoted scum! I am not even sorted into a house yet and you think you have me pegged! You are a _bigoted _hypocrite!"

"Stay away from Harry and Hermione!" Ron said threateningly as he drew his wand and moved to tower over Estella. "Your Uncle is a slimy git and reeks of Dark Magic. There's no way you're not like him!"

"Leave her alone, Ron!" Hermione pleaded, tugging at Ron's arm. "Professor Snape wouldn't be allowed to teach if he was a dark Wizard. And Estella's not like that."

"Then why is he after whatever it is Fluffy is guarding then!" Ron snapped. "He has Dumbledore bewitched, I tell you!"

"Maybe, my Uncle is attempting to _protect_ whatever the school is protecting, you dolt!" Estella growled. "And for your information, no one can bewitch a wizard of Albus Dumbledore's calibre. Don't you know anything?"

"Do you know what Fluffy is protecting?" Harry asked curiously.

Estella looked at him blankly. "Why would I know? My Uncle doesn't bring his work home." She said. "Though I suppose you expect it has something to do with the Hogwarts vault that was broken into at the end of Summer, mmm?"

"See!" Ron cried, stabbing his finger at Estella accusingly. "She knows something and she's not telling!"

"Honestly Ron, regardless of if she is holding out on us, we should respect that she would want to keep Hogwarts business secret." Hermione defended. "Am I right, Estella?"

"Well if I did know any school business I would be required to keep my mouth shut about it." Estella confirmed. "I have on occasion been present at staff meetings in the past."

"However," she continued. "I know nothing of what's on the third floor corridor, except to say that we're all forbidden to go there and that my Uncle has personally threatened to allow Mr Filch to hang me from my thumbs in the dungeons if I ever tried to take a look."

"Your Uncle wouldn't really do that, would he?" Hermione asked, disbelievingly.

"Mione, this is Snape, we're talking about!" Ron sneered.

Estella ignored Ron's comment and looked at Harry. "Oh, he generally has followed through on his threats." She replied. "Though he has never threatened me with this particular punishment before. Not even when I hexed Mr Filch's cat to glow in the dark with my mother's wand."

"You hexed Mrs Norris?" Harry asked, surprised.

"Yep!" Estella smirked. "Damn thing was always sneaking up on me."

"What did your Uncle do then?" Ron asked, curious. "Sentence you to scrub his classroom floor with your toothbrush?"

Estella laughed. "Why, I don't think he's ever had someone do that!" She replied. "Though, don't go giving him any ideas cause that one's right up his alley."

"What did he make you do?" Harry asked, his green eyes bright.

"Oh he sent me to the Headmaster's office." Estella said flippantly. "I was demonstrably mortified. Being sent to the headmaster's office before you're even a student at the school – thankfully it was classed as a domestic matter and didn't go on my school record!"

Ron screwed his face up. "Oh I see why you and Hermione get along then," he said snidely. "You're a swot."

"Ron!" Hermione cried. "I thought we'd gotten past this!"

"I don't care." Ron said defiantly, crossing his arms over his chest. "I still don't trust her."

Estella groaned. Things would go nowhere so long as that argumentative redhead was on the scene. She would have to try and make a go of things with Harry when he was alone. Gathering her parchment and quills, she made to leave.

"Here's the book, Hermione. I should be able to finish my work without it now." She said, handing Hermione the book they had been discussing earlier. "I really must go put my things away if I want to make it back to the Great Hall in time for dinner."

"It was nice to meet you, maybe I'll see you in here again sometime?" Hermione replied.

Estella nodded, then, turning to Harry. "I'm sorry we had to meet this way, Harry. There's a lot we need to discuss one day, but now is clearly not the time." She said diplomatically, before looking at Ron. "You have some pretty loyal friends there. I'm glad for you."

Harry could only nod as his mind clumsily turned over what the strange girl had said. Estella took this as his acknowledgement, taking it as her queue to turn on her heel and leave the Library without another word, her robes billowing after her.

"She is definitely Snape's niece!" Ron said once her retreating form was out of ear shot. "Look at how she makes her robes do that!"

"You checking her out or something, Ron?" Hermione teased as she gathered her things into her book bag so that she could leave.

Spluttering indignantly, Ron glared. "No way! I told you I don't trust her." He said, following on Hermione's heel. "Harry, mate, you coming?"

Harry snapped out of his line of thought and set his legs in motion. "Sure, Ron." He said distractedly, his mind still confused about what the girl had said to him.

His subconscious was tweaked. _'There's something familiar about her…'_

End Chapter: Head to Head


	39. The Mirror of Erised

Updated: Sunday 27th February 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Thirty Nine: Intervention**

Estella's Uncle had not been pleased when he had found out about Estella's encounter with Harry Potter and his friends.

_Flashback_

_"You told the Granger girl that you spent time in Muggle London!" Severus bellowed, incensed. "How could you have been so stupid? What if someone were to hear? What if word got out!"_

_"But Uncle Sev, I could just say I was saying that to allay her suspicions or something." Estella pleaded. "Please let me go to Uncle Remus' over Christmas! I've spent Christmas here every year! I want to know what it's like to go somewhere for the holidays and you can't take me anywhere because you are on duty."_

_"No." Severus snapped. "With certain students now at the school and your recent verbiage in the library it will raise too many suspicions if you were not to remain here over the holiday. Consider it your punishment for disobeying my direct order."_

_Estella's face fell. There was simply no reasoning with the man when he was worked up in such a state._

_"Furthermore, I do not find it detrimental to your education to revoke your library privileges." Severus continued. "After all, no other student at your school has such resources to work with."_

_Eyes wide, Estella felt her mouth drop open. "You… you can't do that! You can't!"_

_"I can, and I will!" Severus argued. "It's about time you stopped looking at the entire Hogwarts facilities as your own personal playground, Estella. These quarters are our home and from now on you will be confined to them when not in my presence. Do you understand me?"_

_Estella glared at her Uncle angrily and nodded her understanding reluctantly before storming off to her room to sulk._

_It seemed that the invisibility potion would come in handy after all._

_End Flashback _

Christmas was, therefore, a solemn affair in the Snape quarters. Remus was forbidden to spend the morning with her at the castle and she wasn't even allowed to floo him. Then, her Uncle wasn't even there when she woke up, leaving Estella to open her presents alone. Not even her presents could bring her any joy.

Whilst her Godfather had given her a really thoughtful maintenance kit for the chess set she had brought back with her from their house, it only served as a reminder that he wasn't there to spend the morning with her and that she had no one to play Chess with. Her Uncle in turn, had the gall to buy her a series of supplementary schoolbooks 'since she didn't have access to the School library and could do with a collection of her own' said the card.

After spending the morning throwing wads of wrapping paper into the fire dejectedly, Estella was further alarmed to realise that the Christmas feast had already started in the Great Hall and her Uncle had yet to collect her. She had no idea if he was simply punishing her further by excluding her from the festivities or if he was unavoidably detained. By any means, she didn't want to risk going there on her own steam given the rules her Uncle had so inarguably set forth; so she ordered a serving of food from Lena and sat alone in her room.

Picking at her food for what seemed like an age, Estella couldn't bring herself to eat. The lump that was steadily building in her throat was preventing her from swallowing, despite her rumbling stomach. Pushing the plate of stale, cold food away, Estella jumped out of her chair and started to pace the room agitatedly, feeling all of a sudden closed in and suffocated by the confines of the room as she fought back the tears that blurred her vision.

Starting to sob uncontrollably, Estella couldn't take it anymore. She had to get out of there. Grabbing two vials of the invisibility potion, she downed one and pocketed the other. Once she could see the potion had taken effect, she wasted no time in leaving the quarters and running, just running, as far away as possible.

* * *

Severus, meanwhile, was beyond annoyed. Early Christmas morning of all days he had been called away from his quarters to tend to a sick Slytherin who had remained over the holidays. 

'_Of all the days for Poppy to go visit her family in Wales!' _Severus scowled as he administered potions to the fraught child. The child in question, was a pasty first year runt of a child who, in addition to being frightfully ill, was also increasingly homesick and _clingy_ as the fever set in. Severus could hardly leave the room for five seconds without the dependent child convulsing dramatically and retching bile everywhere.

Summoning the child's medical records, Severus was quick to realise that the child was having a severe allergic reaction to the eggnog he had foolishly imbibed the night before. He couldn't believe how a child who knew they were allergic to egg solids could be so stupid as to do such a thing, but yet here they were. Unfortunately, the child's initial symptoms had gone unnoticed by the student's peers and by the time Severus had been alerted the lad had lapsed into the beginnings of anaphylactic shock. Severus was hardly a medi-wizard either, so all he could do was stabilise the child for the trip to St Mungos.

As the child's housemaster, he was effectively the child's guardian until the parents arrived. Unfortunately for Severus, that meant a several hour wait outside a hospital room while the hospital's administrator tried to track the boy's holidaying parents down. At no opportunity, was he able to contact his niece and let her know what was happening. He had tried before lunch to floo their quarters and grant her permission to head on to the feast alone, but the child must have been feeding the fire throughout the brief window of opportunity he had to contact her for he found the floo blocked. He could only hope that someone amidst the Hogwarts staff thought to check on his niece, for he doubted after the dressing down he had given Estella, she would venture out of the quarters alone.

'_What if they think she is with Lupin?"_ Severus' conscience plagued him.

He could only hope, as he hastily met with the boy's parents when they finally arrived well after dinner, that that was not the case. Merlin knew what he would come home to otherwise.

* * *

Estella had been running for what seemed like forever. Leaving the ubiquitous dark of the dungeons, she was quick to note that the whole day had in fact passed her by and it was now quite late. 

'_Perhaps I fell asleep at some point?'_ her mind struggled to make sense of things as she began to worry about her Uncle. It was not unlike him to be gone the entire day without returning at least once to his quarters. Panic began to set in, for she had yet to see a single living soul. Maybe something dreadful had happened to the entire school and only she was spared! Maybe it was not really so late and a eternal darkness had instead befallen the sky!

It was with such trepidation, that she suddenly found herself in a room of the castle she had never seen before. To her surprise, she was not alone, for there, sitting captivated in front of a mirror was… _Harry._

"Harry?" She said aloud in question. "Is that really you?"

The boy in question reluctantly tore his eyes away from the mirror and spun around to face the Estella. "Estella?" He asked, "what are you doing here?"

Estella didn't say anything. Instead, she flung herself into Harry's arms. "Thank Merlin! I though something had happened to the entire school and I was the only one who lived!"

Harry held Estella at an arm's length while he pondered her innocent face. The irony of her statement did not go unchecked, and he gave her a quizzical look. "What planet have you been on?" He asked, shaking his head slowly. "Whatever made you think something happened to the entire school?"

Estella screwed her face up as though she were going to burst into tears. It had been a very stressful day for her, and now fatigue was setting in she could barely keep herself together. "I woke up and no one was there! No one was there _all_ day! Then no one came to see if I was alright or take me to the Christmas Feast and Uncle Sev said I couldn't leave the quarters alone but then he didn't come home all day. He didn't even leave a note or anything!" She said breathlessly. "Finally I had enough and left and just ran and ran and ran… and here I am."

"You were alone all day?" Harry said, shocked. Even his relatives hadn't left him _alone_ on Christmas Day. Fed him scraps through a mail slot on his cupboard door and give him old socks for presents and parcel him off to a babysitter maybe, but never go out and leave him alone in the house all day! He'd seen Professor Snape with his niece plenty of times at the Head Table, and although the man was a absolute bastard to some of the students in his class, he didn't think the man would stoop that low. Harry didn't quite know why, but his blood was boiling. A unexplainable urge to protect Estella and make her smile overcame him. Why, he didn't know. He'd only met the girl a handful of times, and he wasn't even sure if he liked her or whose side she was on.

"Harry?" Estella said, rousing him from his thoughts. "I was alone all day. I've been nodding for two minutes almost!"

"That's horrible." Harry said finally. "I'm sure there's a innocent explanation though. If it's any consolation, I didn't see your Uncle at the feast either. Maybe he was called away from the school suddenly and the other teachers assumed you were with him or something?"

"Um, yeah, maybe." Estella said unsurely. "Least I hope nothing happened to Uncle Sev. Mean my Christmas was awful enough as it is, I don't want to wake up tomorrow and hear something terrible has happened to him. I know he's got a reputation for being a, er, _strict_ teacher, but he's the only family I have."

Harry cast Estella a sympathetic look. "I know how you feel." He said, putting his hand on Estella's shoulder awkwardly. "My Aunt and Uncle are hardly the most perfect people in the world, but they've all I got too."

Estella looked into Harry's eyes in understanding. "Is it, er, really true that you didn't know you were a Wizard until you got your letter?"

"Yes." Harry answered quickly. "And you would have no idea how hard it was for me to _open_ my letter! My Uncle kept burning them and taking them away, Hagrid had to come and hand deliver it!"

"Really?" Estella asked, surprised. "Man your relatives really must not like magic!"

"That's an understatement." Harry said darkly.

"That's horrible," Estella said. "I don't know your relatives, but gee, even my Uncle Sev wouldn't be _that_ awful."

Harry shot Estella a disbelieving look. Estella glared. "What? He's not all that bad you know once you get to know him, really!" She said defensively. "Though he does seem to have it in for you I suppose."

Harry smirked. "Now _that's_ an understatement!" He said. They both laughed.

"Say, have you any idea what this mirror can do?" Harry asked after a few moments of silence.

"Uh, show your reflection?" Estella answered slowly, as though she were explaining its properties to a five year old. "Though seriously, is it magical or something?"

Harry cast her a 'duh-we're-in-a-magical-castle-of-course-it's-magical' look and smirked. "Well we are in a magical school, so magical items do tend to show up from time to time!" He answered in the same sort of explanatory tone.

"Oh ha!" She said, slapping Harry playfully as she passed him to stand in front of the mirror. "Alright then, give's a look."

Estella turned her eyes away from Harry to look at her reflection. Seeing more than just _her_ reflection, she froze, eyes wide.

"Estella?" Harry asked, seeing the blood drain from the girl's face. "What do you see?"

Estella, meanwhile, was looking around her widely, looking at the reflection in the mirror and the empty space behind her incredulously. "You don't see them?" She asked, panicky.

"See who?" Harry asked.

"My parents… your parents… my Godfather and my Uncle!" Estella said, becoming increasingly hysterical. "How can they be in the mirror? Is that where my Uncle's gone? Oh my God it's a mirror to the dead! My Uncle and Godfather are dead! That's what happened today! That's why I was all alone! Oh my God! Oh my God!"

Harry didn't know what to say. He could see his parents in the mirror, and they were dead, so perhaps it _was_ a mirror that showed the dead. Maybe something _had_ happened to Estella's last living family that day and that was why they were in the mirror. Professor Snape _had_ been absent from the feast. He couldn't think of anything else it could possibly be. All he could do was try and comfort the now sobbing girl as she crumpled to the floor with her head in her hands. Getting Ron to look in the mirror for a third opinion on the Mirror's properties was out of the question since he really didn't like Estella very much, plus he was all the way over in the tower. He made a note though, to bring him up here soon.

Suddenly, Estella jumped to her feet and started pummelling the mirror with her fists. "Let them out! Let them out!" she cried, only becoming more and more incensed as the people she considered her family stared back at her lovingly, smiling serenely as though they weren't all dead and she wasn't all alone on this earth. Looking skyward for a moment in silent prayer that this whole day had just been one big nightmare and that she would in fact wake up any moment, something along the mirror's frame caught her eye.

Words.

"_Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi."_ She read aloud.

"What's that?" Harry asked, following her gaze and reading the line himself. "Is it Latin?"

Estella meanwhile, had calmed down somewhat, her mind struggling to put her finger on something she had just within her grasp. For some reason the phrase made her think of the afternoon she and Remus had spent over Spring break going through his record collection, but she couldn't think of _why_. Then it hit her.

"Of course! That's it!" She cried, slapping herself in the head.

"What!" Harry asked, still confused.

"When I was staying with my Godfather in Muggle London he showed me his Black Sabbath collection." Estella said. "And he told me that people used to think that if you played their albums backwards the songs held satanic messages."

"So?"

"So? Don't you see? The message isn't _Latin_, Harry! It's English… backwards! A mirror image, if you will."

"You are really starting to sound like Hermione!" Harry groaned. "So what's it say then?"

Pausing a moment while she studied the strange artefact that, until a few moments ago, had tormented her so, Estella worked out the puzzle in her mind.

"I… show… not your face… but… your… hearts… desire." Estella spelled out slowly. "I show not your face but your hearts desire."

"What do you suppose that means?" Harry asked dumbly.

"Um, that it shows not your face but your hearts desire?" Estella replied dumbly, her mirth beginning to return as the pieces all began to fall into place.

Harry looked thoughtful for a moment, looking between the mirror and Estella as though contemplating something. "How come you saw _my _parents?" He asked quietly. "How do you even know what they look like? They died before you were born!"

"Same night actually." Estella said absently, distracted by the loving gaze her mother's reflection in the mirror was giving her.

"That doesn't answer my question." Harry said quietly.

"Oh, er, what?" Estella answered, coming back down to earth. "Your parents? Oh, they were friends with my parents or something. They're in a few photos I have of my parents. They were at my parent's wedding."

Harry stared at her in awe. "I don't even have any pictures of my parents." He said quietly. "The first time I saw my parents was half an hour ago when I saw them in the mirror."

Looking at Harry as though she was just remembering something, Estella dug her hands through the pockets of her robes frantically as though searching for something. "Here," she said, holding out a gaily wrapped object, roughly the size of a large, thin book. "I found this amongst my Mother's things, and well, it's more appropriate that you have it." She said, pushing it into his hands. "I've had it in my robes all day in the hopes I might have seen you at the feast and been able to give it to you. Merry Christmas I guess."

Harry accepted the gift guiltily. "You don't have to give me this." He said sullenly. "I didn't think to get you anything, I'm sorry."

Estella shook her head. "Don't worry about it." She said. "I was going to give it to you anyway, I have just been looking for the right excuse. Go ahead and open it."

Wasting no time, Harry carefully pried apart the bindings holding the paper in place – it was such nice paper, and since he had never really had the privilege of opening so many presents in one day before, he wanted to savour every moment of it – and revealed a nice pewter picture frame containing a picture of a baby Harry being held by his father, who had his arms over the shoulder of his mother. His mother was snuggled into his father's shoulder, bending down to alternatively kiss either James or the giggling baby Harry on the forehead whilst Harry himself was busy cooing and patting his hands on the belly of the heavily pregnant woman who sat on the other side of James.

"I was born a week after that picture was taken." Estella said sombrely, tracing her finger over the dark-haired woman's features as Harry stared sadly at the scene of himself with his parents. "My father took that photo at your house the last time they saw your parents. 24th of October I think the back of the photo said. I'll have to check the original. I wouldn't have made a duplicate, except it's kind of the last photo of my Mother before she died."

Harry looked up at Estella, an unreadable expression in his watery eyes. "Thank you." He said softly, choking back a sob. "It's the nicest present anyone could ever think to give me."

Putting her arm around the boy-who-lived, Estella rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. "I know how you feel." She said sadly. "Christmas… and birthdays… you always wonder… what it would have been like…"

Harry nodded, tilting his head to rest on Estella's. "If you don't mind me asking, how _did_ your parents die?"

"My mother died giving birth to me." Estella said with a hint of remorse in her voice. "October 31st. Didn't seem to be a very good day for either of our families that day, huh."

"Again with the understatements." Harry chuckled mirthlessly. "How soon after did your father…"

"Oh my _father_ is not dead." Estella said coldly. "He may as well be though. I've never met him. They say he went mad…." _'…in Azkaban.'_ She finished in her mind. "Whatever happened, my Uncle doesn't really talk about it. He never liked my father at all. With good reason now I guess."

"Oh," Harry said, wondering what was worse. Having a father who had died, or having one who didn't want to see you. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Estella said. "I don't know life any differently. I get by. We all do."

Harry nodded. He hated it when people felt sorry for him too.

The pair sat in front of the mirror together in companionable silence, each seeing their own hearts desire.

"So do you and your friends still think my Uncle is evil?" Estella asked sleepily as she rested her head on Harry's shoulder. "Still think he is after whatever is supposedly hidden on the third floor?"

"I don't know." Harry said honestly. "I know he's your Uncle, but he doesn't help himself much." Estella nodded. "But I mean we don't even know what is hidden on the floor."

"I don't get it." Estella said, straightening herself up in an effort to stay awake. "If you 'don't know' so much, what makes you think there is anything there at all? And why think my Uncle is after it?"

"The day Hagrid took me to Gringotts he removed something about the size of a snitch from the vault that was later robbed." Harry began. "Then, one day Hermione, Ron and I were caught on the stairs when they changed, leading us onto the forbidden third floor corridor where we had a nasty encounter with Fluffy, this massive three headed dog that was standing guard over a trapdoor."

"So?"

"So, the coincidences are too, well, _coincidental_!" Harry said. "Then, a few days after I went to the staffroom to see if your Uncle would return a book he had confiscated from me and I saw him tending to a gash on his leg; and I overheard him ask Filch 'how are you supposed to keep your eye on all three heads at once'."

Realisation dawned on Estella's face. "Oh, I see. Let me guess. You concluded that my Uncle let the Troll into the school as a diversion so he could try and get past Fluffy and steal the snitch-sized-object you only _think_ is hidden underneath?" She asked, incredulously.

Harry nodded mutely.

"Did you not stop to think that there may be nothing there? That maybe, I don't know, it was my Uncle's turn to feed the dog? Or maybe if there _is_ something being protected there and the Troll was let in to create a diversion that my Uncle may have seen through the attempt and gotten injured trying to circumvent the theft?"

"Um, no, admittedly we didn't think of any of that." Harry admitted. "But to our credit your Uncle's reputation…"

"Whatever." Estella said dismissively. "Care to tell me what you think you know about the object that's got you all up in a fizz? Maybe if I had some clue about what it could be I could try and get some idea of where my Uncle fits in all this. Tell you if he would even _want_ to steal it and risk his job – and our _home_ - here."

"Well. For starters, an item 'pertaining to Hogwarts business' _was_ taken from the vault that was later broken into by a as-yet-identifiable powerful wizard."

"Well that rules my Uncle out right there." Estella said, ticking off her thumb. "He's pretty deft with a wand, but not even _he_ could break into Gringotts!"

"Er, right then." Harry said awkwardly. "Anyway, it's pretty strange to have such a dangerous animal in the school like that if it's not protecting something."

Estella considered all of this information thoughtfully. "Well it makes sense then that the teachers would be working together to try and _protect_ whatever it is that is down there." She said. "I mean, come on. My Uncle may act like an evil git sometimes… alright, _all_ the time… but he's a Slytherin. If he had some sinister plot to steal something Dumbledore's obviously been entrusted to keep safe, he wouldn't go about tending to his wounds in a _public_ staffroom for crying out loud! And, for what it's worth, there's no way he'd use something as obnoxiously out-of-the-ordinary as a _Troll_ as a decoy. Trolls maybe make their own way into the school once every hundred years or so. Now, a rampaging hippogriff or plague of bats. _That's_ more plausible."

"Oh, well I suppose you, er, know your Uncle best." Harry said diplomatically, letting the subject of her Uncle's integrity rest.

"So, any idea on who Dumbledore is protecting the item for?" Estella asked. "Maybe knowing that will help find out what it is?"

Harry nodded. "All we know is it has something to do with a Nicholas Flamel. But we don't know who he is."

"Nicholas Flamel, the alchemist?" Estella asked flippantly, smirking at Harry's bewildered look. "Oh honestly, Harry, don't your read your Chocolate Frog cards? He's mentioned on Dumbledore's; surely you have that card!"

"Really?" Harry asked, mentally slapping himself. He'd had Dumbledore's card since the start of the year. The answer had been staring him right in the face!

"No, I'm making it up." Estella said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Still, doesn't give me any ideas about what the item might be… or why someone wants it so badly."

"Me neither." Harry said, crestfallen, as he yawned widely. "Gods, it's late. I really should get back to the dorm before someone notices I'm missing."

Estella frowned. Harry looked at her apologetically. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be insensitive… are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah." Estella said, yawning herself. "I just needed to get out of there and clear my head a bit. I don't think I've spent so much time in there in one go before. If my Uncle's not there when I get back I'll floo my godfather and have him pick me up – I should have done it a lot sooner."

"OK then," Harry said as he rose to his feet and stretched out the cramps. "Do you, uh, need me to walk you back to your rooms? I have a invisibility cloak."

"Nah, I got a disillusionment potion I can use." Estella said. "But I won't even need that. Not like Filch can punish me or anything, I'm not a student yet… and after what my Uncle's put me through today he's hardly going to be in a position to berate me on leaving without telling _him_ where I was going!"

"Your funeral." Harry shrugged, reaching for his cloak. "Thanks again for the picture. I really feel bad for not giving you something in return."

"Don't be," Estella said, grabbing his hand and holding onto it slightly. "You were here for me tonight… and you heard me out. It's the best present I got this year."

Harry looked at Estella blankly. Estella cleared her throat nervously continued in explanation. "Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but I've been waiting to meet you my entire life." She said. "Our parents were friends… had they not died we probably would have grown up together." She paused. "It's hard to explain, but I don't know, meeting you …" She looked down at the photograph in Harry's hands. "I feel closer to knowing my Mother. It's strange I know."

"It's not strange." Harry said, cutting her off. "I mean, I know what you mean."

"I don't expect us to become lifelong friends or anything. I don't want you to feel pressured to like me because of that photograph." Estella said hurriedly. "It's in the past… and I know your friends don't really like me. Or anyone who hates my Uncle really. The sorting hat will probably put me in Slytherin – for us to be even seen together could hardly work out favourably. But I won't lie and say that I didn't need this. Tonight."

Harry stood, mouth agape as he struggled to find the right words. A long dormant part of his subconscious was stirring, making him feel that with their shared histories, Estella could be like the sister he never had… but then the rational side of him was battling his baser instincts screaming 'Snape's niece! Snape's niece!' and concerning itself with how his friends in Gryffindor would react. Basically, he didn't know if he wanted to have her as a friend. It wasn't that he didn't like her, or that she had done something to offend him. Things were just too complicated. Especially at this late hour. He couldn't help but feel, also, on some suspicious level, that maybe Estella was keeping something from him.

"Thank you." Estella said, shaking him from his thoughts as she planted a chaste kiss on his cheek before hurriedly making her exit.

Harry nursed his increasingly burning cheek as though he has just been stung. "Merry Christmas." He whispered to her lingering scent before donning his invisibility cloak and heading off in the direction of the tower.

* * *

Arriving back in the dungeons without crossing the path of any of the Hogwarts staff, Estella let identified herself to the complex wards surrounding the potion master's private rooms and said the password, securing her entrance to the quarters she and her uncle called home. 

Freezing in her tracks as she noted the blazing fire in the fireplace and the distinct smell of her Uncle's fire whiskey in the air, Estella's face hardened as she took in the shadowed form of her Uncle, who had risen inhumanly fast from his chair as she entered.

"Where in the _Hell_ have you been?" They both snapped at each other.

End Chapter: The Mirror of Erised


	40. Intervention

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Uploaded: Tuesday March 1st 2005

**Chapter Forty: Intervention **

Severus was beyond beside himself with guilt, concern and anger. Guilt, for the fact that his niece had been left alone all day on _Christmas_. Concern, because she was nowhere to be found upon his return. Anger, because he hated being left out of the loop.

'_At least I have an idea on what Estella was feeling all day_' he admitted to himself gloomily.

He would have mounted a search for his truant niece, but for the simple fact he was desperate to delay the time where he would have to explain and apologise to the child for his absence and deal with her wrath. Somehow he just knew that wherever the child was, she was not in danger. Estella was much like himself, in that regard, he mused. For in a similar situation Severus knew he'd most likely run off to a far flung corner of the castle and brood – free of the claustrophobic confines of his quarters and without the risk of being bothered.

Yes, he had no doubt that Estella would return soon.

Merlin help them both when she did, though.

* * *

"_Where in the Hell have you been?"_ Two startled voices snapped simultaneously. Under any other circumstances, the respective parties might have found their identical performances _funny_. This, however, was no time for mirth. 

"I'm not talking to you." Estella said stubbornly, brushing past her Uncle forcefully as she stormed towards her room.

'_You left me alone all day, then when you come back you don't even look for me!' _Her inner voice was screaming, her little heart smashing into pieces.

"Estella…" Severus began, letting his previous question drop. It did not do to dwell on redundant issues at a time like this. Where she was didn't really matter for the time being. "Estella come back here."

Estella froze mid step and answered without turning around. "Why should I listen to you?" She asked coldly.

Severus sighed. "If you would cease your melodramatic tirade for _five minutes_ I may have a chance to explain what happened today!" He said smarmily.

Turning on her heel, Estella crossed her arms defiantly across her chest and sneered at him, one eyebrow raised in expectation. "Clock's ticking."

Momentarily speechless by how much like him Estella was being right at that moment, Severus collected himself and leant back on the arm of his armchair for support. "Would you care to take a seat?" He said, gesturing to a chair congenially.

"I'd rather stand." Estella said shortly.

"Have you eaten then?" Severus asked, stalling. "Would you like a hot drink before bed?"

Estella looked at him thoughtfully. "I'd like a little known brew called 'quit stalling'" She said dryly, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Narrowing his eyes, Severus pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He really couldn't blame her for her attitude – not at a time like this – but it still grated him to have her speak to him in such a way. "I'll get straight to the point, then." Severus said firmly, barely containing his baser instinct to correct Estella on her tone. "One of the Slytherin students who had remained at the school over the holidays was gravely ill in the night and I had to accompany him to St Mungos and stay there all day as his housemaster and assigned school guardian until his parents could be contacted and return from their holiday abroad to claim him."

Having said this, Severus looked to Estella for any sign of her understanding. There was none, so he continued. "When I was summoned to the Slytherin dorms in the early hours of the morning I did not realise that the matter was quite as serious – or time consuming – as it was. If I did I would have most assuredly left you a note and made alternate arrangements for you for the day."

Seeing no change in Estella's cold hard exterior, he sighed. "I tried to floo here, you know." He said accusingly. "You weren't by some chance throwing wrapping paper in the fire, were you?" He asked, recalling his niece's habit and smiling inwardly when he saw her eyes widen momentarily in some semblance of a reaction. "I'll take that as a yes, mmm?"

Estella's eyes continued to bore into him unforgivingly. Severus couldn't stand her silence, it was driving him insane. "When I couldn't contact you I tried to contact another staff member." Severus explained. "But no one was in their quarters to answer my call. Then I was called away from the flooing point by one of the student's healers and I didn't get a chance to get away again. I could only hope that one of my colleagues had sense to check on you in my stead and take you to the feast… or that you would ignore what I said earlier and take yourself."

'_Uh oh_.' Severus thought as he saw the murderous expression on Estella's face. _'Wrong thing to say!'_

"Oh, so I guess it's all _my_ fault then!" Estella snapped angrily. "That I thought you were still punishing me for consorting with Gryffindors and nearly blowing your cover! You didn't let Remus come over because of that! What was I supposed to think? Huh?"

Severus blanched, running a hand over his face wearily as he cursed himself.

"Oh I know!" Estella chirped with mock enthusiasm. "Maybe I was supposed to think the school had been attacked and you had been detained by, oh, I don't know, _death_!"

The man in question sighed wearily. He had some work to do if he ever had a chance in hell in making it up to his niece.

"But nooooooo." Estella wagged her finger. "You had to go be a _good teacher_ and tend to your _sick student_ and forget all about me!" She shouted with no amount of hidden resentment. "But it's all _my_ fault! How could I forget! It's all my fault that I was left here alone when I could have been with my _Godfather_ who would _never_ _ever_ do something so… so… so…"

"Estella." Severus said softly as the child's voice trailed off. "I can't tell you how sorry I am for this _misunderstanding_."

His audience snorted. "_'Misunderstanding?'_" She shrieked incredulously. "_That's_ what you're calling it? Well I don't know Uncle Sev, but for what it's worth, you ought to be congratulated."

"What for?" Severus asked, stunned, before he could think.

Estella glared daggers at him. "For making me realise what Christmas would have been like had I never left _that_ place." She said in dangerously low tones, spitting out her reference to the Asylum. Then, before Severus could even open his stunned mouth to reply, Estella had spun on her heel and closed the distance between her and her room, entering it and slamming the door behind her. "Merry Christmas!" A muffled voice shouted sarcastically from behind the closed door.

Severus fell back ungraciously onto his chair and cursed. If he thought his tension migraine was bad, it was nothing compared to the daggers that were piercing the centre of his chest right at that moment.

What had he done?

* * *

The rest of the Christmas break was torture for Severus. First thing the morning after Christmas, Estella had spent half the morning with her head in the floo, spilling her heart out in hushed tones with her goddamn Godfather. As curious as he was to know what was going on in his niece's mind, he knew better than to try and listen in, and so he had retreated to his private laboratory. All he could surmise, however, was that whatever Estella had told her interfering wretch of a confidante, it was enough to have the damn werewolf floo into his quarters and storm into his laboratory with a uncharacteristically feral look on his face. 

The latest full moon must have been blue, for Remus Lupin was _pissed_.

"At what point did you not think to contact me and have me check on Estella?" Remus growled, barely containing himself. "I know we have issues, Severus, but I didn't realise you could be so _selfish_."

Severus, his skin a considerable amount of shades paler, opened his mouth to retort but was cut off by a dangerously close Lupin, who had closed the gap between them to stand eye-to-eye with his foe. "No, Severus. I have not finished." The feral wolf snapped. "It tore my heart out not to see or speak to Estella over Christmas, but I _respected_ your method of disciplinary measures. I did not think it was fair – depriving a child of a loved one over the holiday – but I _trusted_ that you knew what you were doing and that no harm would be done." He paused. "I can't help but feel accountable, for if I hadn't been so foolish in pledging my loyalties and I would contacted Estella irrespective of your wishes and this incident could have been averted."

The werewolf took a few steps back and ran a shaking hand through his hair. A hand that was shaking with barely suppressed anger. "Just so you don't _worry_" He said snidely "Though you hardly deserve the _courtesy_" A breath. "I've sent Estella through the floo to London. She will be spending the remainder of the Christmas break with me. Don't even suppose you are in any position to question me on this, Severus. Just be thankful I am here to clean up after your mess."

The darker-haired man finally got the opportunity to speak. "You can't do that. I forbid it." He said obstinately, clutching at straws. "She is _my_ niece, Lupin!" He spat. "_Mine_! You – you – you just can't waltz in here and take her!"

Remus Lupin narrowed his eyes at his counterpart. "Do you remember the night you brought Estella back from Azkaban?" The sandy haired man asked quietly. "Do you recall what we discussed?"

Severus nodded.

"Consider this my intervention." The weary werewolf replied simply. "She needs some time away from you to regain her perspective. The poor child doesn't know what to think of you anymore, Severus. Her whole little world is crumbling around her and I am here to offer her the last piece of stability she has left to build from."

"Fine." Severus said quietly after a few moments thought. "If you think it will help things, you may have her for the rest of the Christmas break."

Lupin nodded, turned and headed for the door. "Oh Severus," he said as an afterthought, turning back around to face the man briefly. "I really wasn't asking your permission."

"I didn't expect you were." Severus sighed finally, talking to an empty room.

End Chapter Forty: Intervention


	41. Making Peace

Updated: Friday 4th March 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Forty One: Making Peace **

When Estella had returned to their dungeon quarters early in the New Year, Severus felt more at ease than he had the time they'd been apart. Though the resilient child had pretty much continued to ignore him by throwing herself into the new term at school and hiding behind her books, only conversing with him when prompted, she could at least stand to be in the same room as him again. Upon her return Severus had sat her down for a heart to heart and apologised again, asking what he could do to make it up to her.

"If it happens again, I won't bother coming back." Was what she had said in a cold, impersonal tone. "Can we just get on with it for now?"

With a small measure of relief, Severus was glad that Estella appeared to just want to put the incident behind them and move on – much like she did the circumstances with Lupin and herself after that night at the Shrieking Shack. He didn't doubt, for one minute, that Estella would ever forget what had happened, however, and so he held her at her word and vowed to himself that he would do everything within his power to ensure that his niece didn't see reason to leave him. With Lupin's lycanthropy under control thanks to the Wolfsbane Potion and Estella becoming more and more independent as she got older, he wasn't sure where he would stand in court if she or Lupin ever tried to have him relinquish his guardianship. Of course he held the trump card in that he was the only one who could provide Lupin with his potion, but he didn't want to draw that card unless it was entirely necessary. Estella would likely never forgive him if he was that spiteful.

* * *

Estella, meanwhile, was thoroughly enjoying her last semester at school – the academic side of it anyway. She didn't quite know if it was because this was her last term before she would go off to Hogwarts and she wanted to be as prepared for the transition as possible, or if it was because certain extra-curricular issues were driving her to use study as a distraction, but she couldn't get enough of her schoolwork; and was steadfastly on her way to graduating the top of her class. 

As the days wore into weeks, Estella had even gotten her library privileges restored. She had been discussing elements of her extra-credit assignment with Professor Dumbledore at the head table one night and had conversationally mentioned that given the nature of the assignment (being extra credit and all) the Hogsmeade School did not contain all of the supplementary readings and her teacher must have evidently presumed that she had ample access to the Hogwarts resources because there was no way any student could get the research done without them. When Professor Dumbledore had assured her she as welcome to take full advantage of any of the books in the library because he didn't believe in people taking advantage at what was at their fingertips and he wanted to encourage conscientiousness amongst his past, present and future students, Estella had raised an eyebrow at her Uncle sceptically as though to say 'shall I tell Professor Dumbledore just why I don't feel like I can use the Hogwarts Library?' and that was all it took for her Uncle to renege.

Even thinking about it weeks later brought a look of smug satisfaction to Estella's face. It wasn't very often that her Uncle was 'out-Slytherined' at his own game.

Now she was free to use the library whenever she wanted, Estella embraced the place as a sanctuary away from her Uncle – who while she had forgiven him in her mind's eye, she wasn't done making him feel bad about it. While she had been staying with Remus in London, he had given her a book by Dr Suess called "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas". After that, she spent the first week back at the school calling her Uncle, 'Uncle Grinch'; much to the mirth of the muggleborn students. It was a rather confused and befuddled potions master that fumbled through the days, unable to put his finger on why his niece was calling him that or why it made the muggleborn students laugh and snigger behind his back. It was not until a sympathetic (and extremely courageous) seventh year muggleborn student explained the concept of the Grinch after a rather colourful animated drawing finding its way to his desk that it all fell into place for Severus. He couldn't help but feel slightly humiliated, but it compensated him that his niece had begun to forgive him enough to play the joke on him in the first place… even if the prank was such a _Black_ thing to do.

It was while in the library one day after the Grinch debacle while Estella was reminiscing, flipping through a copy of Dr Suess' now infamous tome (that Professor Dumbledore had rather merrily _insisted_ the school now stock for its 'Muggle' section), that she encountered Harry, Ron and Hermione again. At first they did not see her, for she was seated on the floor in the casual reading area and rather camouflaged with large cushions on her flank; and so Estella just sat and listened.

"Nicholas Flamel invented the Philosopher's Stone!" Hermione said. "Do you suppose that is what Fluffy is guarding?"

"If it's _not_ the stone under that trapdoor, I'll feed Scabbers to Fluffy!" Ron's voice filtered indignantly through the shelf of books between her and the Gryffindor golden trio.

"But who would go to such lengths to secure the elixir of life for themselves?" Harry said worriedly.

"Oh Harry, who _wouldn't_!" Ron snorted. "Could you imagine being immortal? Why you'd be just about indestructible."

A sense of dread pooled in Estella's gut. She knew from her Uncle's tutelage that anyone who was after that much power was generally up to no good. The idea of obtaining immortality by undeservedly _stealing_ the invention of another, had darkness written all over it. Quelling her fears, she listened on.

"Do you suppose it is Professor Snape who is after immortality?" Hermione asked.

"Of course it bloody well is! Though Merlin knows why a git like him would want to live forever. I heard even his niece got sick of him over the Christmas break and ran away to London." Ron said gluttonously. "I bet the greasy bat just wants to live forever so he can torture students until the end of time."

Estella had to bite her tongue and physically hold herself back from leaping up and over the shelves she was hidden behind and throttle the whiny little redhead until his face was redder than his hair! It seemed, however, that Harry had similar ideas.

"Ron!" Harry snapped. "Don't be so ridiculous. Even Professor Snape would have more ambition in life than to spend his entire life teaching. If you haven't noticed already, half the reason he's such a git to us students is because he would much rather be somewhere else."

'_Spot on!'_ Estella thought to herself, smiling.

"Yeah Ron," Hermione added. "Professor Snape really has no need for the stone."

"How can you say that, Hermione?" The redhead spat. "He's _Snape!_ He probably wants it as some whacked potion ingredient."

"I don't think so, Ron." Harry said quietly. "I think Snape is one of the teachers protecting the stone. Why would he show the bite Fluffy gave him to Mr Filch?"

Estella frowned. She never did ask after her Uncle's leg after she'd seen him limp. And that happened _before_ he went and became the biggest dunderhead… no _Grinch_… Hogwarts had ever seen.

"Because they're in it together!" Ron's voice continued. "Snape and Filch are both sadistic, cruel, mean, greasy, evil…"

"RON!" Both Hermione and Harry interrupted, cutting Ron off. "I'm not saying you're wrong entirely, Ron, but I spoke with Estella over the holidays and I don't think her Uncle would…"

"You spoke with the mini-bat?" Ron snorted derisively. "And the future Slytherin Princess is just oh-so-trustworthy I bet! Wait a minute, I was at School over the holidays, when did you…"

"It's none of your concern, Ron." Harry said shortly. "And I don't appreciate you taking that tone about Estella. She's done nothing to deserve…"

"She's _related to Snape!_" Ron cried.

"Oh shut up Ron!" Hermione snapped. "You are as bad as Malfoy with his pureblood superiorities."

"That's not the same thing!" Ron said heatedly. "I'm _nothing_ like Malfoy."

Estella had had enough. She stood and rounded the bookshelf with inhuman speed. "What, so you're not small minded and judgemental and pig headed and stubborn then?" She hissed at a surprised Ron.

"You were listening to us!" Ron accused. "She was listening to us! Guys! See, I told you! She's Slytherin scum!"

"Oh so you mean by overhearing _obnoxiously loud_ voices in a otherwise _quiet _room while I am minding my own business trying to read a book is being _Slytherin_ by design, then I suppose overhearing the conversation between two staff and manipulating it to suit your own perverted crusade is what exactly?" She retorted. "Just who do you think you are, Weasely? How _dare_ you go around slandering _my_ family, accusing them of things you know _nothing_ about!"

"Oh and I suppose you know _everything_, then?" Ron sneered. "I bet you're spying for your Uncle and you're really conspiring with him! You may think you can fool Harry and even Hermione so easily, but I'm not buying."

"Ron!" Hermione and Harry cried out again. Harry pulled Ron away from Estella. "There's more to her than you think, Ron. Lay off."

"Or what, Harry?" Ron shrilled, becoming manic. "You'll leap to her defence? Choose _her_ over _me?_"

"That question doesn't even merit an answer, Ron." Harry said. "Estella has done nothing to me that suggests we all shouldn't at least be civil to her, and I would like it if you would pull your head out of your arse and trust me on this, else I may just have to reconsider the nature of our friendship. I won't have you dictate who is and is not worthy of my time, Ron. I know you mean well, and I appreciate you looking out for me, but some things I have to learn on my own!"

Ron exhaled slowly and glared at Estella. "Fine, Harry. I'll let you avoid your own bludgers. Don't mean I have to like it." He said breezily as he walked off. "I'm going to the Great Hall for Lunch. They always put extra stuff out early on Saturdays."

Harry, Hermione and Estella stood in awkward silence, staring after Ron's retreating back.

"You'd better go with him." Estella said finally. "He'll probably think I've bewitched you both and turned you against the noble house of Gryffindor otherwise. You'll never hear the end of it."

Harry looked at Estella apologetically. "You know his type then?" He asked.

"I'm related to both Snape and Malfoy, aren't I?" Estella smirked, lightening the mood.

"Maybe we can come good on that promise to study together." Hermione suggested. "Ron and Harry hate the library, and I don't really have any female friends at this place."

"I'd like that." Estella said earnestly, before giving Harry a sidelong look.

"Yeah, um, well I am sure we'll bump into each other when we least expect it too." Harry said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. As much as he wanted to welcome Estella to the fold, he didn't want her to come between he and Ron; nor did he want to choose.

"Yeah." Estella said, absently flicking hair out of her eyes, a knowing look on her face. "Don't sweat it."

With that, the three parted and went their separate ways. Estella back into the depths of the library to find a book, Hermione back to the Gryffindor Tower to deposit the books she had borrowed from the library in her dorm and Harry to the Great Hall to deal with a temperamental Ron Weasley.

End Chapter: Making Peace


	42. The Mini Snivellus

Updated: Tuesday 8th March 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Forty Two: The Mini-Snivellus**

Despite how much Estella loved to learn, as she entered into the last months of her elementary schooling, she began to hate school. The other children were both jealous and spiteful towards her. Jealous, because she got to see Harry Potter every dinner time from across the Great Hall and she lived at Hogwarts – a place they were not to see until after they turned 11, if at all – and spiteful because of the stigma the name 'Black' held in history; and in their increasingly aware minds. The laughed at her because she didn't have a 'proper' family like the other children, and ridiculed her for her eccentricities. Stories about her Uncle's legendary behaviour, greasy appearance and uncaring nature at school filtered down from her classmate's older siblings, who encouraged the children in her class to 'give the mini bat hell from me'.

In the midst of it all, Estella kept mum. Throwing herself into her schoolwork and staying in the classroom during playtime to help her teachers, Estella became outwardly withdrawn and introverted. At night, she would cry herself to sleep, and whenever someone asked her how school was, she'd focus only on the things she was learning. Severus, of course, had noticed the dark circles that had began manifesting themselves around his niece's mirthless eyes and the closed expression she cultured to her face. Fatally, however, he – and in fact all who came across her – had overlooked it as a reaction to the child spending too much time around the dank looking Potions Master. Severus himself felt regret in the possibility that his actions over Christmas may have driven her to becoming so withdrawn from him. It was not until a chance walk past her school with Remus that the werewolf had smelt the anxiety rolling off of her in waves and confronted her about it.

"What's the matter, cub?" Remus halted in his step as they passed the playground of the Preparatory School, the distinct aroma of anxiety tickling at the senses of the alpha wolf within. "Got a test on Monday?"

Estella stopped and leant her back against her stilled Godfather's form. Looking up at him curiously, she frowned. "I'm top of my class, Moony, like I would be worried if we did have a test!" She replied absently, her eyes shifting distractedly between the school and her Godfather's concerned orbs.

Remus followed his Goddaughter's gaze and narrowed his eyes. Placing a protective arm around his charge's shoulders his brow furrowed when he noticed the child began exhibiting the physical signs of the scent he was smelling: her small trembling hands subconsciously clutching her re-emergent _Padfoot_ toy closer, and twitching over the pocket of her robe Remus knew she carried her father's wand in.

Resigning himself to get to the bottom of his Goddaughter's distress at another time and place – a time not so close to the full moon when the proximity of the cause of his Cub's stress didn't make him want to give in to his baser alpha wolf defences and rip into whoever was causing the problem. Giving the child a reassuring squeeze, Remus stepped away from the school, deciding misdirection (and a rapid change of scenery) would do them both some good.

"Last one to Honeydukes is a lousy dueller!" He quipped, mock-running from Estella then following her at a languid pace, hot on her heels, as she tore past him; all her ails temporarily forgotten.

It was whilst they were in Honeydukes that Remus saw firsthand the source of Estella's anxiety. Having spotted several of her classmates enter the store, Estella had gone into a mild state of panic, frantically tugging Remus towards the stairs leading to the cellar, desperate to leave for Hogwarts immediately via the secret trapdoor passageway. It was immediately apparent to the wolf that she was acting in such a way in a blatant attempt to conceal her presence from her classmates.

"But I thought you wanted to come over to my place this afternoon?" Remus had asked, puzzled, letting her lead him to the stairs. Normally, Estella would leap at the chance to spend the weekend in Muggle London. They'd spent the morning planning what movie they were going to see at the multiplex even.

Glancing over her shoulder warily, Estella paused momentarily as though weighing out two lesser evils. Tearing her eyes away from the front of the store, she looked at Remus apologetically and said, rather unconvincingly: "I don't want to."

Now, that Estella was so fearful of her classmates that she wouldn't so much as walk past them in the presence of someone she knew would protect her, spoke volumes to Remus. That she would also forgo a trip to the Muggle world said even more. Was she that scared? Or was her shame of that fear a deterrent?

Holding himself back as Estella tugged and pulled fruitlessly at the trapdoor, her little limbs too weak to bear the weight of the door, Remus leant against the balustrade at the foot of the stairs and folded his arms.

"Remus! I can't open this door on my own, y'know!" Estella said exasperatedly, looking up at her Godfather expectantly. "What?" She added, when she saw his expression.

"Sit down, we're not going anywhere." Remus said firmly, pointing to a tea chest and not taking no for an answer.

Estella sat down heavily and slumped, her head looking downwards. "Why?"

Remus crossed the room and knelt at his beloved Goddaughter's feet, placing his hands on her knees gently. "Because I know you don't want to leave." He said softly.

"But I do…" She said, her voice wavering.

"Estella, I can smell when you're lying." Remus said. "Besides, wanting to cut our day short and wanting to escape the presence of your peers are two entirely different things and I know you'd never want to cut your time with me short."

Estella's head shot up in shock and she looked into her knowing Godfather's eyes. "You think so highly of yourself…" She said in a thinly veiled attempt at humour.

"Hush child," Remus said soothingly, cupping her cheek with his hand, hardly buying the tough girl act. "What say we wait until they leave then we can go upstairs, pay for our purchases, and head on over to my place, watch a movie, and then maybe you can think about telling me what just went on then, hmmm?"

Estella nodded, "I can tell you now, Uncle Moony." She said softly, a lone tear escaping down her cheek.

Remus sighed and pulled the distraught child into an embrace. In one swift movement he lifted her up and turned them both around so that he could settle on the tea chest with Estella on his lap.

"OK, sweetheart," Remus cooed in her ear as he rubbed comforting circles on her back. "Take all the time you need."

After Estella's tears – which had descended into uncontrollable sobs as she released months of pent up emotion under her Godfather's patient ministrations – had subsided, the child leant into Remus and began her tale. She told Remus of the months of cruel taunts and bullying she had encountered since school had returned from Christmas break, leaving nothing out. Really, the children in her class had always been a little cruel and aloof towards her, but since she had that _misunderstanding_ with her Uncle over Christmas, she'd become a little more sensitised to their constant put downs. Previously, she was quite secure and content within herself to accept things as they were and keep to herself, ignoring them.

Inwardly, Remus felt the alpha wolf rise within him, ready and eager to jump to his cub's defences in the most heinous way imaginable.

"Have… have you told your Uncle any of this, cub?" Remus asked hesitantly, knowing that he would have a lot of questions for Estella's guardian if the man had knowingly ignored this information.

Estella, however, shook her head timidly. "Uncle Sev wouldn't do anything. He doesn't care."

Remus narrowed his eyes. "Estella, you don't really believe that do you? Don't listen to what those fools in your class think they know. What happened at Christmas was an unfortunate _misunderstanding_. Your Uncle didn't intend…"

Estella lowered her head. "I know, I know. But everyone says…"

"Estella," Remus said warningly. "Look at me, I'm serious when I say this. Your Uncle cares about you and he would be rather surprised if he thought you didn't know that."

Estella looked at Remus quizzically. "You're not Sirius, silly, you're Moony!" She said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Estella!" Remus growled.

Estella looked at Remus seriously. "Yeah I know Remus, it was a cheap trick." She paused, suddenly finding her hands extremely fascinating. "I didn't mean to say Uncle Sev didn't care _about me_, just that he wouldn't care that I was being picked on."

"How does that make sense, Estella? I guarantee your Uncle would be out to hex some ass – just like I am - if he found out what those little snots were doing to you!" Remus exclaimed, puzzled.

"Thanks Moony!" Estella shot Remus a coy smile. "But it's different with you. You weren't picked on in school like Uncle Sev was."

Remus' eyes darkened. Estella had yet to find out that he had indirectly contributed to her Uncle's torment in school.

"So I heard," Remus said carefully. "But I would have thought your Uncle's _experience_ would have made him even more willing to help you through this because I am sure when he was growing up he wished he had someone to rely on."

Estella shook her head slowly. "Or he could just tell me to suck it up and put up with it because that's what he had to do when he was at school!"

"So you _did_ speak to your Uncle Severus about this then?" Remus blurted without thinking.

Estella gave Remus a triumphant look. "See! You know he'd say that too!" She said.

Remus gave in. It wouldn't be out of character for Severus to be spiteful and embittered about his own childhood experiences and let it get in the way of his better judgement. Then again, the man had proven from day one that he was capable of doing things out of character. When it came to Estella, anyway.

'_But this is a child's heart_ _we're playing with_' Remus thought. The mere chance that Severus could give such bad advice at a time where Estella was already in a fragile state this wasn't worth the risk.

"I'm glad you felt you could tell me, cub." Remus said, sighing.

Estella shrugged. "You asked."

"So what do you want me to do about it?" Remus asked thoughtfully. "I'm open to anything. Maim, kill, any of the hexes in '_1001 Hexes you'll never forget'_… ALL of the hexes…"

Estella shrugged, fighting back a laugh. "I don't know. I just want them to bring them down a peg or two… like I used to be able to."

"I know," Remus said, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "We could always tell your Uncle and watch him _set a few things straight_ with them! The man positively makes _Seventh years_ want to wet themselves, can you imagine the reaction?"

Estella cringed. "That's not a very good idea Moony. Part of the reason they tease me is because Uncle Sev is scary like that, so making him scare them out of being bullies will just be perpa…perpetrating the circle."

Remus looked at his goddaughter, astounded at her profoundness.

"My, my, Estella. That was profound! Wherever did you learn a word like 'perpetrate'?"

Estella smiled wanly. "Let's just say I've had a lot of time spent alone in the library." She said darkly. "With Hermione Granger."

Remus shook it off. He'd heard about the Granger girl. It was a relief at least that Estella had one like-minded soul she could identify with. "So, having your Uncle scare the little brats from ever accepting their Hogwarts letters is a no go?" He said, ticking the idea off his fingers. "Although I hope you do realise that regardless of if we get your Uncle involved in this, I will be telling Severus when it's all sorted."

Estella looked at her godfather fearfully. "Do you have to?"

Remus nodded solemnly. "How do you think he will feel if he found out from someone else, hmmm?"

Estella sighed. "Alright. We will tell him, but after we got them to stop, OK?"

"What do you think we should do?" Remus asked.

"Well I can't beat them up because there are more of them than me and plus I would be just as bad as them if I tried to do it." Estella mused, counting off the thought with her finger. "And I can't prank them at school because if they know I did it, they would tell the teacher and I would get into trouble and if they didn't know it was me it wouldn't stop them teasing I don't think." She looked Remus directly in the eye. "And I can't challenge them to a duel because I can't use magic outside of Hogwarts wards and they probably don't even have a wand, let alone know any spells!" She sighed. "So what do you think I should do?"

Remus looked at his Godfather proudly, the mischievous glint back in his eye. "I think you have your answer right there, cub."

Estella spluttered. "Which one… what, you mean challenge them to a duel? How on earth can I…"

Remus smiled. "I have a plan," was all he said.

End Chapter: The Mini-Snivellus


	43. The Mini Marauder

Updated: Wednesday 9th March 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Special note: I ask that you keep in mind that just because it is implied that Remus has taught Estella the Marauder's 'code of conduct', it doesn't mean that he has told her that the Marauders (whom she associates as being the stuffed toys Remus gave names to and made up stories about in her younger years) are real… merely he is using their escapades as inspiration; to fashion Estella into a 'real life' Marauder, much like how impressionable children often emulate and idolise the fictitious characters from their favourite television programs and such; adopting fictitious principles and mannerisms as their own in tribute. Phew that was a long sentence…

**Chapter Forty Three: The Mini-Marauder **

It was Friday. Six days since that fateful afternoon spent in Honeyduke's cellar hatching their plan, which was finally beginning to take shape.

Like the onset of all weekends of recent times, Remus had arranged to take Estella for two nights. The plan was for Estella to confront the head bully – a boy by the name of Ernst Trunchbull – and challenge him to meet him at the Shrieking Shack at 8pm for a duel. Remus and Estella would meet the boy and his second there with telescopes (that way if anyone came across them they had the alibi that they were there star gazing).

The success of the plan depended heavily on a few uncontrollable variables, but at the end of the day, if it came down to it, Remus knew that Estella's formidable duelling skills would pull her through. He only hoped the children in Estella's class were as predictable as most children their age and that the actual exchange of spells could be avoided. Superior knowledge of magic was a tactical bluff that Estella was using, and although Remus had little doubt she could beat a 10-year-old in a duel if it came to that, it was just that he'd rather her prematurely taught skills were kept under wraps a little while longer.

Hiding in the shadows of a large Oak tree on the boundary line of Estella's school's playground, Remus waited for stage one in their plan to come into effect. Like clockwork, the bell sounded for the start of play lunch and the children spilled out into the yard. Ducking further back into the shadows, he smiled encouragingly when he saw Estella cast a quick, nervous look in his direction. Crossing his fingers subconsciously, he stood and waited.

"Hey, Black!" A boys voice called out to Estella roughly.

Estella turned to face the boy and his group of hangers on. "Good afternoon Ernst, what gives me the pleasure of your company today?" She replied confidently, putting Marauder Rule Number one ('be nice to your foe, it throws them off balance') into play.

Remus smiled sadly. '_I can't believe Sirius would want to miss out on this!'_ he thought absently, his mind struggling once more to reconcile the man he once thought he knew with the man he had become.

The boy she spoke to quickly hid his surprise at her response. "Get over yourself, Black!" Was all he could come with.

Estella raised an eyebrow expectantly and folded her arms across her chest as sternly as she could muster.

'_Oh my_,' Remus thought. 'She got that from Severus…'

"Well, what do you want Ernst?" Estella asked impatiently, "Or do you have the memory of a goldfish?"

Ernst spluttered. "Why, I just wanted to know what you have for lunch today." He said weakly.

"Well I have a lovely selection of cold meats and sandwiches that the House Elves prepared me." Estella said in her best 'hostess' voice. "They always make way too much for me to eat all by myself, so by all means help yourselves."

Ernst shook off his temptation and batted away the hands of a few of his sidekicks who were obviously thinking with their stomachs. "You can't have House Elves!" He spat. "You don't even live in a house!"

Estella threw her head back and laughed. "I suppose the correct term would be Hogwarts School Elves, then?" She said mock-apologetically, shaking her head dismissively. "Whatever."

Then, for good measure, she added. "As for your information, Ernst, my family has several vast estates in which we could reside in if we so chose. Though wouldn't you choose to live at Hogwarts before you had to go to school there, Ernst?"

'_Just how we rehearsed it, good girl!'_ Remus thought, glad for his werewolf sense of hearing.

Ernst fumed. "Why would I want to live in a place if I was going to spend seven years there anyway?"

"Oh I don't know, so you could explore it before any of the other kids in your class?" Estella said, looking pointedly at the jealous faces that dotted Ernst's circle of friends. "And of course to use magic!"

Ernst pulled himself up to his full height and stood so that he was uncomfortably close to Estella. "Yeah but you can't use your magic here, now can you?" He sad menacingly.

"Oh really, Ernst!" Estella exclaimed, yawning. "Are you trying to scare me? My Uncle doesn't even scare me!"

"I bet my fist can!" Ernst snapped, drawing back said fist.

Estella held her ground, although Remus could smell the familiar scent of her anxiety beginning to form and was ready to jump in at any moment.

"How big of you, Ernst." Estella said coolly. "To physically beat up on a _girl_ that's smaller than you. My how your parents must be proud!"

"At least I _have_ parents!" Ernst said victoriously, stepping back.

Estella shocked them with her smile. "You really must be stupid to think a person can be born without parents!" She laughed.

"At least I didn't kill my mother!" Ernst said, "and my father isn't rotting in Azkaban!"

Estella cringed.

'_Come on Cub, don't let them get to you!_' Remus silently urged her on. Somewhere, somehow, Estella must have felt it because she pulled herself together and didn't let herself crumble.

"What!" She said angrily. "Surprised I am not running off crying to hide in the library?"

The group of bullies looked at her, stunned. The old Estella was back.

Estella took a deep breath and continued. "What is wrong with you all? It's sad and pathetic how you could think it's fun to hurt others. You must simply feel so _proud_ of yourselves afterwards! Me, I'd rather feel proud for having mastered a new spell and getting my homework done on time, but hey, that's me. I'm not a thoughtless, uncaring, mean little piece of entrails." Estella took a deep breath and continued her rant. "You know what, I'm sick of being treated like scum. I don't care what you people think I did to deserve it, but I know I did nothing; and I'm willing to bet my magic on it!"

Ernst blinked warily, then scrambled his resolve to save face. "What are you saying, Black?"

Estella stuck her head up high and sneered. "I, Estella Michelle Lily Selina Black, challenge you to a Wizarding duel. Who will be your second?"

Ernst looked flabbergasted, knowing his reputation would suffer if he denied the challenge. "We can't duel. We're underage." He said weakly.

"What's that Ernst?" Estella asked sweetly. "Sorry, I didn't hear that clearly. Did you just say you don't know any magic?"

Ernst fumed. "I do so!"

"Fine then. Shrieking Shack at 8pm?" Estella said. "Oh and don't worry about the laws, the shack is magically bound to Hogwarts. We won't be detected!"

Ernst looked at his friends hopelessly. One of his friends – a butch faced girl by the name of Veruca Palmerston – shook her head furiously and pulled at Ernst's arm.

"Don't listen to her Ernst! She just wants you to throw the first spell and get caught by the Ministry and forbidden to use magic!"

Suspicion dawned in Ernst's eyes. "Nice try Black, but no snitch."

Estella held up her hands in surrender. "What if I demonstrate a few spells when we get there?" She negotiated. "Then when the Owl doesn't come you might believe it safe to continue undetected?"

Ernst looked to his friends for a way out, but there didn't seem to be one. He had to accept.

"But Ernst!" A weedy looking boy by the name of Isaac whispered frantically in his ear. "You don't have a wand!"

"Shut up!" Ernst hissed, then looked at Estella. "How is it you have a wand?"

"I don't have my own wand." Estella confessed. "I will be using my _Father's_ wand."

"Wouldn't that have been snapped when your old man went to Azkaban?" Ernst asked curiously before he could stop himself.

Estella shrugged. "If I hadn't been born, maybe it would have been." She said, letting the question hang. "So, trusting you could sneak away with one of your parent's wands, who do you nominate as your second?"

Ernst paused for a moment in contemplation. "My brother works in Hogsmeade. He graduated Drumstrang last year. He will surely meet us." He said. "I will borrow his wand."

Estella nodded.

"Who will be your second?" Verucca asked snidely, thinking she had voided the terms of the duel by virtue of Estella having no friends she could ask to second her.

"Harry Potter, I believe you've heard of him?" Estella stated.

When Ernst heard the name "Harry Potter" he paled. Everyone knew that Harry Potter had defeated the Dark Lord when he was a baby. There was no telling how good he was at duelling now!

"Well, do you accept my second or not?" Estella asked impatiently.

Ernst took a shaky breath and nodded unconvincingly.

"See you then." She said conversationally, holding out her hand to seal the deal. Ernst took it limply, then nodded his assent to his friends before brushing past Estella gruffly to go lick his wounds in some far flung corner of the playground.

Remus, meanwhile, was holding his breath as he watched the last of the exchange play itself out. It was only when the bullies had left her sight that he could see the mini-marauder-in-the-making smirking and turning to give him a thumbs up.

'_Thank Merlin!'_ Remus thought as he took in a staggering breath of relief.

"Phase one complete!" Estella mouthed.

"Phase one complete!" Remus whispered back, coming out of the shadows slightly and waving his goodbyes.

End Chapter: The Mini-Marauder


	44. The Duel

Updated: Wednesday 9th March 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Forty Four: The Duel **

The prank had gone as planned. Ernst and his complete klutz of a older brother (who had in fact been expelled from Durmstrang, not graduated) fell right into the trap. Remus had collected Estella from Hogwarts Friday afternoon as was the norm, thus establishing her alibi, and the pair had rushed off to the Shrieking Shack to prepare.

Harry, of course, had no idea he had been implicated in their plan for he was not really needed. Estella wasn't really going to duel anyone. It was hardly the _Marauder_ way to do exactly what you said you were going to do. Instead, Godfather and child whittled the time they spent waiting for their _party_ guests to show up by lying in the backyard of the Shrieking Shack stargazing. It was an unspoken agreement that they wouldn't go inside.

Too many memories.

If not for the plausible cover that the shack was off Ministry radar (Remus insisted it was actually true; thus enacting _Marauder Rule_ _number 3_: Always inject a truth into your façade.) they would not have gone there at all. However, desperate times called for desperate measures.

The plan was simple. Ernst and his second were to turn up for the duel to see Estella alone and without the infamous Harry Potter as her second. Ernst would then predictably start teasing her about it, upon which time Estella would strike. With Remus' help (as he stood in the shadows whispering spells), Estella would have her foes convinced that they were standing on unstable magical ground.

Muggle literature could prove to be so inspirational.

In the moments that were to follow, Ernst and his brother had been subjected to scenes and scenarios from the likes of Pinocchio and Alice in Wonderland. Being of staunchly pureblood lines, they had no clue as to what was really going on, and believed everything they were experiencing. As such, they didn't hesitate in grovelling for Estella's help when they saw she held the upper hand.

Everything was going perfectly. She had them grovelling at her feet in all their transfigured fairy tale character glory and was just about to show them the polaroid photos Remus had taken of them in such ridiculous garb and tell them the Muggle significance (effectively blackmailing them into submission) when the unexpected happened. None other than Severus Snape turned up.

They had forgotten that a particular favourable batch of nightshade grew wildly in the Shrieking Shack's garden and Severus habitually chose to harvest the plant when he didn't have his niece in his quarters.

* * *

"What in Merlin's name is going on here?" Severus bellowed as he saw his niece the last place he'd ever expect her to be. 

Estella looked at him innocently, then looked to the strangely dressed boys before her, her mind working into overdrive. "Oh no!" She said to her cohorts. "Boggart! Draw your wands!"

The boys stared from Estella to a seething potions master incredulously. "Are you sure its not _really_ your uncle?" One of them said quietly.

"Why, when Boggarts are notorious for dark places such as this?" Estella asked. "Tell me, boys, what was your deepest fear in coming here? Let me guess, it was _getting caught_. Am I right?"

The boys nodded slowly, realisation coming to them.

"Well, point your wand at the _boggart_ and say the following spell: 'Riddikulus'"

"Riddikulus!" Both boys screamed at Severus, who was becoming secretly intrigued by his niece's insubordination.

"Boo!" Severus said bemusedly as the boys stared at his unchanged form in shock.

"Uh, Black…" The shorter one said. "I, er, really think he's really your Uncle."

Estella laughed. "Of course he's really my uncle!" She revealed, smirking, her arms crossed over her chest as she tapped her wand on her chin. "It was absolutely _ridiculous _for you to believe otherwise!"

"I knew it was not a real spell." The older boy said defensively.

"Oh I do assure you it is the correct spell to confuse a _real_ Boggart." Severus drawled boorishly as he too stood there with his arms crossed over his chest. "I can arrange a demonstration if you so desire to see your greatest fear up close and personal. My dungeons are seething with Boggarts. Isn't that right, Estella?"

Estella nodded fiercely. "I find one every other day in my closet or under my bed. That's why I learnt the charm."

OK, so she had an encounter with a Boggart in her bedroom _once_. And she had been too busy running away to incant anything, let alone learn a charm. She only knew of the spell from example. She'd never cast it.

"Anyway, I thought you _graduated_ from Durmstrang!" Estella sneered, looking at Ernst's older brother. "Didn't they teach you anything? Boggarts are third year material!"

The boys gaped at her, flabbergasted.

"Oh sod off," she said eventually, boring of the game. "I don't know why I let myself get so worked up over the likes of you. You're both pathetically gullible and _stupid_!"

She held up two Muggle story books, showing them the pictures and revelling in the realisations that were beginning to hit home in the boy's eyes. "Good thing you're off to Durmstrang next year, Ernst. You wouldn't last five minutes in Hogwarts." Then, waving a few photos, she smiled wistfully. "At least I will always have this night to remember… and these photos."

The boys looked at her, duped. "Why you… you… you…"

Estella raised an eyebrow and glared at the boys. "Go on, I dare you." She begged.

"You're not worth it." Ernst said snootily, eyeing Severus warily. "C'mon bro, let's get out of here."

With that, the boys left. Estella looked forebodingly at her Uncle. "Hallo, Uncle Sev." She said conversationally. "Fancy, er, bumping into you here."

"Indeed." Severus replied shortly, raising his eyebrow expectantly. "Care to explain?"

End Chapter: The Duel


	45. The Consequences

Updated: Friday 11th March 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Forty Five: The Consequences **

"Lupin. I should have guessed you were behind this!" Severus growled as the bane of his existence made his presence known.

"Ah, good evening, Severus." Remus said politely, as though they were bumping into each other while out for a leisurely stroll. "It appears I forgot you frequent these parts this time of year."

"Evidently." Severus sneered. "I'm still waiting for an explanation."

Together, Estella and Remus gave Severus a condensed version of what they had pulled off that night, and why those boys deserved the humiliation.

"No real harm done, Severus." Remus said good naturedly. "They got what they deserved."

Severus gave Remus a dark look. "In light of what they appear to have done to my niece to bring about such resolve, I won't argue you that, Lupin." He intoned. "However, I will not tolerate the use of _pranks_ as mediative forms. Estella you are above such _juvenile_ behaviour. You shouldn't feel you have to react at all."

Estella and Remus exchanged a knowing look as Severus continued. "Those that resort to schoolyard bullying…" at this he looked at Remus. "… are themselves bereft of moral fibre and are _hiding_ something about themselves; supplementing their _extremely inflated egos _by attacking those that are better than them. Reaction only perpetuates the cycle…"

Severus could continue no more. His voice was drowned out by the sound of a child… and an obscenely overgrown child… failing to control their laughter. "What?" Severus snapped.

"N-n-n-othing, Uncle Sev." Estella said, between gasps of laughter. "We're not laughing at you, really, honest."

Severus gave Estella a hard look. "I give up." He said finally before leaving. "Go and get morally corrupted by that delinquent Godfather of yours! I'll see you Sunday."

Estella gaped in her Uncle's wake in shock and turned to Remus. "Did… did we… did he… I _got away _with it?"

"Oh no." Remus said lightly. "I am sure your Uncle has left it to me as your weekend guardian to ensure you get the appropriate… _punishment._"

The pair erupted into peals of laughter.

* * *

"You did _what_?" Harry asked for the fifth time, absolutely beside himself in disbelief as he joined Estella and Hermione at the study table in the library. 

"Had my schoolyard nemesis transfigured as Pinocchio and convinced him my Uncle was a Boggart that needed hexing." Estella said, gleefully showing her highly detailed, newly animated photos to the pair. "See?"

"Oh my God!" Hermione said, stifling her laugh in her Transfiguration text. "What on earth did Professor Snape do?"

"Oh he lectured me a bit," Estella said flippantly. "But I don't think his heart was in it. I didn't even get into trouble! Either he's still trying to make up for Christmas or he was secretly laughing his arse off at my brilliance! I mean look, he developed the photos for me even! Found them by my bed this morning!"

"How did you manage to transfigure them with such detail without them noticing?" Harry asked, chuckling at what it would be like to do that to Dudley.

"Ah, that's where my brilliant accomplice has to take the credit!" Estella admitted. "My Godfather sat in a tree and hexed to his heart's delight. I simply stood with them and convinced them that it was the magical instability of the area playing off their emotions. They're purebloods. They had no idea of the Muggle influence. Nor were they too pleased when I showed them the storybooks their makeovers were inspired from."

Hermione and Harry sniggered.

"They never saw my Godfather there." Estella continued. "I bet they still think it was a 'magical disturbance' causing them to change. They are so dumb. It's no wonder they didn't get accepted to Hogwarts."

"What?" Harry asked, looking up with tears of mirth in his eyes, pouting. "I'm not going to get the chance to rub this in their faces next year? Denied!"

"Oh it's so unfair!" Hermione sighed melodramatically. "Remind me never to cross you though."

"Yeah, Ron had better watch out." Harry said jokingly.

"mmm… he's pureblood hey?" Estella asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. "No, don't worry. Ron's been a bit of a git to me but I wouldn't mess with your friend. He has his reasons."

_Flashback_

"_Black!" Ron called after Estella as she arrived in the entrance hall after school earlier that day. _

_Estella turned to face Ron warily. "What do you want, Ron." She asked._

"_Stay away from my friends." He warned. "I know the real reason you're living with your Uncle and if you don't want me to tell them you will not take them away from me."_

"_That was never my intent, Weasley." Estella said sadly, walking past Ron. "But I will heed your warning and hold you to your word as a Gryffindor."_

"_Just so we're clear then." Ron said gruffly._

"_As an elephant's rememberall." Estella said over her shoulder as she headed towards the library to meet Harry and Hermione. Telling them about her weekend would undoubtedly cheer her up some. _

_End flashback_

End Chapter: The Consequences


	46. Voldemort and Vigils

Updated: Friday 11th March 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Forty Six: Voldemort and Vigils **

It all happened so fast. One minute Estella was having fun joking and laughing with Hermione and Harry in the library, the next minute she was rushing to the hospital wing to visit them. In a mad panic, the Gryffindor trio had rushed to defend the stone when they had heard Professor Dumbledore had left the school for the night. Hermione told her in hushed tones that she and Harry had wanted to call on her Uncle for help – because unlike all the other teachers they would have been able to call on Estella for credibility – but Ron was convinced they were going down the trapdoor to protect the stone _from_ Snape.

Estella had heard all about what happened during their detention in the Forbidden Forest – both Harry and Draco had spun her rather vivid accounts. She also had heard from Hagrid as he collected her from school one day how he had been fooled into sharing the secret of how to tame Fluffy. Yet despite all she knew, she hadn't anticipated that the three Gryffindors would go after it alone.

Thankfully, everyone was alright in the end, and the stone was saved. Estella was shocked to discover the nature of Professor Quirrell's _dilemma_. He was always one of the teachers she disliked the most, but she never thought he would have been capable of such evil, let alone have the Dark Lord embossed on the back of his head. She'd rather foolishly suspected McGonagall as being more sinister than the man! When she'd told her Uncle Sev as such, he'd suggested that she ought to apologise to the transfiguration professor for merely entertaining the idea that she was in the same league, if not worse, than a teacher that was in cahoots with Voldemort. Needless to say, Estella adopted her Uncle's Slytherin ethos and rather forcefully suggested that what the old witch _didn't _know wouldn't hurt her.

She was lucky her Uncle had a soft spot for Slytherin qualities.

* * *

The end of Spring came altogether too fast. She had finished her last day at the Hogsmeade Day School and said goodbye to the institution with no amount of remorse. She could hardly wait to start her educational career at Hogwarts. Many of the students whose taunts she had to endure over the years were either squibs enrolled to learn how to read and write or were students from families that chose to send their children to Europe, away from the familiarity that Hogwarts' proximity to Hogsmeade, to learn. She was overjoyed to learn that only the most tolerable of her peers were following her to Hogwarts. 

However, finishing school meant that the Hogwarts students would also be heading home for the holidays within the next couple of days. It would be strange to spend time in the library without her most recent omnipresent companions, and she found she would miss even Draco's stoic attempts at gentlemanly behaviour towards her!

Watching forlornly as the last carriage of the Hogwarts Express disappeared from view, Estella turned around walked back to the eerily empty shell that was Hogwarts. It was the same feeling year after year, but it hardly ever got any easier.

"Estella!" A familiar voiced called from further on down the path. Estella looked up to see her Godfather running towards her. "There you are, cub! The train leave?"

"Like clockwork," Estella replied gloomily. "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to be your knight in shining armour and rescue you from your dungeon prison." Remus said gallantly before adding in a more sincere tone. "Really though, how would you like to spend the Summer with your boring ol' Godfather in London?"

"The _entire_ Summer?" Estella asked, in shock. "Wha? How… when?"

"Your Uncle flooed me about it last night. We both kind of agreed that it wouldn't be fair on the other students if you were to have outside visitors on the weekends once you became a student, so now the holidays are really the only time I will get to spend with you." Remus explained.

Estella's eyes darkened. "That's not fair and you know it, Moony! I'll still get to see Uncle Sev everyday! I've never not seen you for a whole term like that before!" She said anxiously.

"But that's normal, cub." Remus soothed. "Everyone starting Hogwarts for the first time are leaving home for the first time. Even you will leave your room in your Uncle's quarters to live in the dorms with your house mates."

"No, Uncle Remus. What would be normal would be if I lived with you all the time before I started Hogwarts. Then I would have a home _to_ leave! It's not fair. Weekends and part of the holidays are hardly enough time as it is, now it's just going to be holidays?" Estella said, her voice reaching a higher crescendo with each statement. "No. I won't stand for it."

"Estella." Remus said firmly, gripping the raving child by the shoulders. "Stop this at once."

Estella paused. Remus sighed. "Now I can see why your Uncle didn't want to be the one to tell you."

"Oh yeah, always giving you his dirty work, isn't he, Uncle Remus?" Estella snapped prissily. "Well he'd better not expect me to visit him or call him Uncle during the term then either! He wants to play it that way, I'll _play_ it that way!"

Remus smiled softly. "That's it Estella, now you're getting the idea. I'm not entirely sure if that's quite what your Uncle had in mind, but fair's fair, right, cub?"

Estella smirked evilly. "I can't wait to see his face when I declare to the sorting hat _not_ to put me in Slytherin!"

"Estella." Remus said, starting to laugh. "Why you'll get into Slytherin just by the nature of that comment alone."

"You want to bet on that?" Estella said, raising an eyebrow. "I'll wager my collection of chocolate frog cards against your Muggle record collection that I'll get into any house _but _Slytherin."

"Deal." Remus said, holding out his hand. "On one proviso. You swear on your Mother's good name that you haven't been talking to the sorting hat lately."

"I swear." Estella said truthfully.

"Right, shall we see about getting you packed then?" Remus asked as they continued their walk back to the Castle.

End Chapter: Voldemort and Vigils


	47. The Sounds of Summer

Updated: Sunday 13th March 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter one. Song lyrics are not mine either.

**Chapter Forty Seven: The Sounds of Summer **

Summer had been amazing. She had received her Hogwarts letter in the second week of the holidays and was absolutely thrilled to _not_ be in the school grounds when she got it ("because that would just suck the fun out of it" she'd told her Godfather). Not long after that, she bumped into Harry in Diagon Alley while she was getting her school supplies; only she couldn't spend a lot of time with him because Ron was there. She did manage to thank Ron, though, for his brothers and his excellent work in breaking Harry out of the Dursley's house. Ron, in return, looked like he'd just swallowed a liver flavoured Bertie Bots Bean, but let their animosity drop for the duration of their brief encounter.

Once again, however, her time with Remus in London was passing all too quickly. Shortly before her return to Hogwarts – which she would be travelling to for the first time by the Hogwarts Express - Remus had surprised her with two tickets to the Reading Music Festival. After learning that world famous Muggle bands converged the venue each year for a piece of the action, Estella could barely contain her excitement. Remus explained to Estella that after he'd bought the two tickets he'd been told that children under 13 actually got into the festival for free when accompanied by a paying adult and so she was free to invite two friends. So she invited her cousin Tonks, who gladly accepted the second adult ticket, and Hermione, who was not yet 13. She had wanted to invite Harry, but there were just too many inherent difficulties in getting permission from his guardians; and Remus had seemed reluctant to chaperone 'the-boy-who-lived', mentioning his regret at not being 'suitably equipped'… whatever that meant.

While many people who converged onto the barren landscape of grasslands in Berkshire camped nearby, Remus insisted that they would be port keying too and from the venue daily from their home in London, "To avoid the unseemly element of music festival culture" Remus had said. Tonks was a little bummed – she wanted to blend into the social fringes of Muggle youth and 'experience' life – but neither Hermione or Estella were adverse to the idea of coming home to a good book and warm bed at the end of each night. It was all a matter of balance.

The Reading Festival, that year, was held over the last weekend in August, between the 28th and 30th; with the Hogwarts Express leaving Kings Cross Station on the following Tuesday, the 1st of September. Amongst the line up were the likes of Nirvana, Public Enemy, The Beastie Boys, Smashing Pumpkins, Nick Cave and Manic Street Preachers. Remus, in particular, was 'hanging out' to see a band called Public Image Limited because they had a penchant for doing covers of songs by bands such as Led Zepplin and Sex Pistols – bands of 'his time'. Surprisingly, the band Remus had dragged them out to see on the Friday wasn't too bad. Asides from some coarse language and partial nudity, the songs had a good vibe and left the girls eager to experience the rest of the weekend.

Although the weather was altogether miserable, throughout Saturday night in particular, it rained like buggery. The comedy tent was closed down and the music tent was almost washed out, yet the crowds were still wild and the show still went on. However, after one of the guitarists from Manic Street Preachers broke his guitar in a fit of rage and hurled it into the audience violently, Remus ported them back to the house early: sopping wet and muddy (despite the charms) before things got too out of hand.

On Sunday, Estella bought a official Reading long sleeve t-shirt for £14 from one of the merchandise stalls and, as an afterthought, got Harry a black and white Public Enemy t-shirt for £10 as a belated birthday present because even if Harry didn't know who Public Enemy were, she was sure he'd appreciate the implied joke. At least Hermione concurred with her as such. One of the funniest ironies to present itself that day was when a band called Mudhoney was onstage opening for Nirvana and the impatient audience started throwing mud at them. The band then started throwing mud back at the audience and Estella was truly in her element.

If only she was allowed to use her wand to amplify her effects.

Remus, meanwhile, had no idea what he had gotten himself into. Not only did he willingly subject himself to chaperoning three girls for an entire weekend, but he was their lone guardian and protector in a overcrowded environment where Muggles were drinking, swearing and copulating in every corner. Severus would have his balls for potions ingredients if he had any idea what Remus had exposed his niece to! He was already having nightmares about Selina coming back from the dead to kill him. Most disconcertingly of all, was the image of Sirius laughing his head off in Azkaban, revelling in the fact his daughter was turning Remus grey. Things had surely changed since he had last been to a Reading Festival – although part of him supposed it was merely the change in circumstances that unnerved him so. It was all very well and true to be a young, voracious newly-graduated 17 year old male out to have a good time in the 70s, but now he was there as a parent, he was seeing things from a whole new different perspective.

Thank goodness for automated port keys.

Everyone present at the festival had to wear wristbands, and Remus had these charmed to activate by his command irrespective of if he was physically present or on the other side of the venue from the bearer. In addition, his wristband would warm and glow accordingly if one of the girls was in need of assistance. Stella would glow grey, Tonks, neon pink, and Hermione Gryffindor red. Of course, it was never his intention to leave the girls without his supervision, but in such circumstances it paid to be prepared. If he'd had any choice after he'd seen the reality of the conditions at the festival, he would have port keyed them back to London and tore up their tickets faster than you could say 'encore' – he could hardly believe his lapse in judgement – but _thankfully_ something was on his side because it all turned out so well.

* * *

After coming home Sunday night thoroughly exhausted, Remus had bundled the girls into his muggle car to drive them to their respective homes. At that moment he sat behind the wheel in his freshly charmed clean clothes, trying to shake the cotton wool out of his head; his ears still ringing from the weekend of aural overkill. 

"I'm so lonely, that's ok I shake my head, I'm not sad, and just maybe…" The three giggling girls sang the resonating Nirvana song at the top of their lungs, still way too hyped from the last act they had seen. Remus looked back at them through the rear view mirror and smiled, humming along.

"I'm not sure, I'm so excited, I can't wait to meet you there…" Estella sang extra enthusiastically, perhaps alluding to the anticipation she felt about going on the Hogwarts Express for the first time and arriving at Hogwarts as a student for a change.

"I don't care, I'm so horny…" Tonks continued after the other girls voices had faded away. The two adult passengers of the car blushed at the awkward silence that followed.

"Uncle Remus?" Estella asked finally. "What does it mean when you're horny?"

Remus groaned, sending a dangerous look in Tonks' direction, silently cursing the girl for bringing that line up. "Um," he said, tapping the steering wheel distractedly. "Ask me again when you're 30."

Hermione and Estella looked at each other, giggling, and knowing altogether much more than what they let on by the looks of it. "Oh," Said Estella with mock disappointment. "So you mean they weren't singing about Hungarian Horntails?"

'_Damn…_' Remus thought to himself, '_could have used that._'

After another few moments of contemplative silence, the girls started singing again.

"With the lights out it is dangerous here we are now entertain us _we_ feel stupid and contagious here we are now entertain us!"

Remus looked back at the girls and smirked. "I had you guys entertained all weekend!" he said incredulously, "give an old man a chance to recover!"

The girls laughed heartedly. Their spirits like this for the remainder of their journey.

* * *

"Uncle Remus," Estella said over breakfast on Monday morning. "Do you think I'd be able to play an instrument like that?" 

Remus looked up from his coffee - his _strong_ coffee – and smiled. "I don't see why not." He said warmly. "Though I probably wouldn't try and cut a career as a singer just yet. My ears are still burning."

The subject of his mirth scowled playfully and threw a muffin at him. "Hey!" She cried indignantly, with a smug look on her face. "I seem to recall a certain _old_ man scaring people away with his Led Zepplin impersonation!"

Remus had the modesty to blush. "I couldn't help it!" He said, justifying his actions. "I was a little excited that they covered that song, okay?"

"A _little_ excited?" Estella spluttered. "A _little_? You were screaming like a Banshee you were _that_ excited!"

Remus grinned reminiscently and took a bite out of the muffin Estella had thrown at him. "At least we all had a good time." He said, between mouthfuls.

"Oh yes, Uncle Remus!" Estella said. "The _best_ time! You are so cool! Uncle Sev wouldn't be caught _dead_ there."

"I'd be _dead_ if he _had_." Remus said lowly. "Don't forget to omit certain… _details_… from your Uncle."

"But Uncle Remus, you don't condone lying!" Estella said with mock innocence.

"No, no I don't. But I'm all for giving your Uncle a dose of his own medicine." Remus said, clearing the plates. "I'm sure you won't find it too hard to put your _Slytherin_ influences to work."

Estella smirked, winking at him conspiringly.

"Come," Remus said finally, having set their dishes in the sink. "Before you head off to school, there's something in the attic I think you'd like to see."

**

* * *

"Damn it! It's got to be around here somewhere!" The highly-caffeinated werewolf tore the attic apart in search of something. **

"What are you looking for, Uncle Remus?" Estella asked, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

"A grand piano." Was his distracted reply.

"But Uncle Remus, I think I would have noticed if there was a grand piano in here…"

Remus sighed and turned around, leaning on a pile of boxes wearily. "It was your mothers." He said quietly. "She hated it when your father – who couldn't play for his life – would muck around with it and so she shrunk it and only brought it out when she wanted to play. It's got to be up here somewhere."

"My mother played the piano?" Estella asked, intrigued.

"Yes. The originations of the piano are ambiguous, and so many pureblood families had their children tutored." Remus explained. "I believe your Uncle is quite the aficionado, though I'm only going on what your mother told me. The delicate bone structure of your hands that you inherited from your mother's family are perfect for learning to play."

Estella looked down at her hands, wide eyed, then looked back at her Godfather. "Maybe it's in her bedroom?" She offered suggestively.

Casting his Goddaughter a searching look, he stopped rummaging through the trunk he was buried arms deep in and sighed. "No. It's in here somewhere." A few more moments of searching. "Wait a minute… what's this?"

Moving an large dormant mirror and setting aside the protective dust sheet, Remus sighed. "I'd forgotten all about this." He said to no one in particular before turning to face the stricken look on Estella's face. "Estella… this… these are…"

Glaring coldly at the startled impressions of her parents faces, Estella blinked and looked at Remus. "I know. We've already met." She said shortly before turning on her heel and leaving the attic.

Remus looked from the gaping hole in the floor that had just swallowed his Goddaughter into the floor below, to the animated oil images of his childhood friends. Feelings of remorse, sadness and confusion battled for ground in his mind as the vestiges of his friends' life together stared at him innocently. Part of him want to curse the magically captured imprint of Sirius and relieve himself of the past 11 years of grief and baggage; but as he looked into the confused grey orbs of his painted friend, he couldn't help but soften. This wasn't Sirius Black, the infamous betrayer and murderer – this was _Padfoot_, his childhood friend and devoted father-to-be.

"Moony?" A crackly voice in the portrait, hoarse with disuse, tugged memories from his heart as it tore right into his soul. "What happened?"

The werewolf sighed, his face suddenly ten years older as his eyes bore the weight of his emotions. "Trust me, Padfoot, you really _don't_ want to know."

"Remus please." Selina's portrait pleaded, distraught. "Something's not right. We're dead aren't we?" She hugged her expanded abdomen desperately. "We never get to see out little girl grow up."

Remus could only nod, his body taking a shaky breath as he struggled to maintain a hold on his emotions. It only seemed like yesterday that Selina was in that hospital room pleading with him to take care of baby Estella. His thoughts, however, were interrupted by said child calling for him from the floor below.

"C'mon Uncle Remus! Don't worry about finding the piano now, I'm going to Hogwarts tomorrow anyway." The voice filtered up through the trapdoor. "Come help me pack instead."

Remus looked helplessly at the fraught figures in the portrait. "Go to her." Sirius said gruffly, evidently feeling put out that he couldn't be the one to hold his little girl and play with her and help her pack for school. "Just promise you won't leave it so long between visits, eh?"

The man nodded and went downstairs to help Estella pack.

* * *

Later that night, after Estella was fast asleep, Remus returned to the attic to give his immortalised two-dimensional friends some answers. By the time he was done, Selina was beyond hysterical, clutching her belly protectively and retching uncontrollably. Sirius, on the other hand, was angry and full of self loathing. He could not believe that he would be so crass as to betray his best friends, let alone act in any way that would cost him his family. 

"It can't be true, Remus!" Sirius pleaded, his voice panicked as he dissolved into manly sobs. "I wouldn't… I couldn't… how…?"

Doubt began to fester in Remus' mind. For Sirius to have pulled off his evil plan he had to be a bloody brilliant actor, but everything within Remus' gut screamed at him that the scene before him was not an act. Even Selina couldn't bring herself to believe her husband would be capable of such acts. Now, Remus had heard the phrase 'love is blind', but Selina was a Ravenclaw – she wouldn't fall so blindly without due cause.

"I don't know what happened, Padfoot." Remus said finally, keeping his tone formal. "But that's how it happened. I'm not about to open the proverbial can of flobber worms by daring to question it now. You're only a portrait! You can only possibly represent what people see on the outside. Sirius Black fooled everyone. He obviously had more going on underneath than what any of us would care to admit to. I'm sorry, Sirius, but I'm not about to take the word of an artist's superficial impression over historical fact. Good night."

"Remus!" The portrait's muffled voices called out after him as he covered the frame with its sheet and left the attic.

It was a shame Selina hadn't had a solo portrait done.

End Chapter: The Sounds of Summer

Next Chapter: Missing Moments, Magical Musings…


	48. Missing Moments, Magical Musings

Updated: Monday 14th March 2005

Disclaimer: Where else? Chapter one of course:P

**Chapter Forty Eight: Missing Moments, Magical Musings… **

By the time Hermione, Harry and the Weasleys even arrived at Kings Cross Station, Estella was already on the train. While she was reluctant to leave London and part with Remus for the longest time she'd ever been apart from him, Estella was nonetheless overly excited about starting Hogwarts.

After waking up hours before their alarms had been set to go off, Remus had shrunk Estella's things and treated her to breakfast at a nice, nearby eatery that they had come to love. Then they walked the relatively short distance to the station, arriving 40 minutes before the train was set to depart. With both parties feeling more and more emotional the longer they drew things out, it was decided to get the goodbyes over with early, to enable Estella time to explore the train, find herself a seat, and compose herself before the other students started arriving in droves.

It is here that we find Estella seated alone in a carriage near the front of the train, the last of her bittersweet tears drying on her face as she gazed unseeingly out the window at the increasingly busy platform. As she absently took in the sight of parents arriving with their children, eager and organised in ensuring that they got to the station on time and yet reluctant to let their precious progeny go until it was absolutely necessary, the void in Estella's life threatened to swallow the forlorn child whole. Though she was entirely grateful for having such a formidable mind as her uncle to guide her through her life, and it went without saying she loved her Godfather to a fault, as she watched the students with their parents she ached insatiably for the one thing she could never have.

Sure, she had carved a tidy little family unit for herself consisting of her Uncle and her Godfather, it wasn't the _same_ as what the other children had. First and foremost, Estella was blossoming into a young lady. Though she wasn't feeling it quite yet, there would come a time in the future where her rapidly changing physicality would pull her father-figures up short, and she will come to bear the brunt of having no female role model in her life. Still, she made do with what she had – which was quite a lot to work with when she considered it thoughtfully – and it was only on significant moments like this that her conscious mind ever thought to think of what things could have been like if her mother hadn't died in childbirth and her father hadn't gone off the rails.

Ever since the day she'd uncovered the portrait of her parents, Estella had caught herself thinking about them more and more often. Though she knew – like any self respecting Wizarding child would – that the personality imprinted on a magical portrait was at the artist's bequest and readily subject to inaccuracy, the contradictory image the portrait had captured unnerved Estella to no end. She could still feel the love in her mother's eyes covert her with unconditional acceptance… and then there was her father. Her father. He seemed so carefree and jovial; and his portrayed self clearly seemed deeply in love with her mother and absolutely stoked at the prospect of parenthood. Their voices – voices she had heard for the first time - still resonated in her head, and she was beyond confused. She had known that her father was nice to those he cared about and was only evil and mean to those he intended to hurt, but it just seemed unconceivable that a man could be so two faced. Then again, her Uncle _was_ a spy for Dumbledore and did lord knows what in his duties as one of the Dark Lord's servants 'to save face'; and then for one night a month her caring, gentle, compassionate Godfather transformed into something so inherently evil and violent that maybe anything was possible.

If only the men in Estella's life didn't all have to be leading double lives – she'd be able to figure them out a whole lot easier.

Tearing her eyes away from the now busy platform, Estella sought a distraction. Pulling her new wand out of a pocket in her robes (she had changed as soon as she got on the train) she twirled the polished new wood in her hands and thought back to the day she got it.

_Flashback_

"_Ah, Miss Snape." Mr Ollivander said before he had even turned to see who had walked into the store. "I was wondering when I would be seeing you."_

_Estella looked at Remus for reassurance, who smiled slightly and edged her forward. _

"_Remus Lupin." The old man continued, noticing the werewolf's presence. "Willow, 12 inches with the hair of the dog that bit you…" He said, considering the younger man for a moment. "Appropriate, yes, quite appropriate…. Rather swishy if I recall. Good for charm work and personal defence, hmmm?"_

_Remus dug his hands into his pocket, toying with the handle of said wand uncomfortably. "Yes, yes. It has served me well."_

"_Uncle Remus, I thought you couldn't… a dog…?" Estella pulled her Godfather down to whisper urgently in his ear. _

"_Ah," Remus said nervously. "I do believe Mr Olllivander was referring to a Muggle saying rather than implying I was actually attacked by a dog."_

_Mr Ollivander took in the pair before him and found the appropriate point to interrupt. "Your Uncle is doing well, I trust child?" Mr Ollivander asked, unsuccessfully trying to satisfy his curiosity as to the child's guardian's whereabouts. When he got no answer he added. "Such a shame what happened to your parents. It seems like only yesterday that they were in here buying their first wand." Seeing Estella's thirsty look, he smiled knowingly and continued. "I see you have them with you now. A inflexible blackwood 8 inch with Unicorn hair core I had been trying for years to sell chose the young Miss Snape if I do recall correctly."_

"_I've found it good for Charms. It was my Mother's best field too." Estella said._

"_Not very often does a wand choose a wizard who has already found strengths in the wand of another. How very interesting." Ollivander said. _

_Estella looked at Ollivander warily. "Excuse me, but I would like to purchase a wand sometime before the apothecary closes."_

_Ollivander smiled widely – which was a scary sight. "Why, I do believe your Uncle said the same thing when he came in for his wand! Excellent wand for hexes and shields if I do recall." Ollivander recalled. "Now which is your wand arm?"_

_Estella held out her right arm and watched, intrigued, as the measuring tape magically unravelled and shifted around her arm, measuring everything from all conceivable angles. _

"_I see you have bonded with the wands of your parents." Ollivander said, summoning the measuring tape. "Your Father's wand in particular… Supple. Holly, 11inch… Dragon Heartstring" Ollivander said wistfully "I think I know precisely the right wand for you." He said gleefully. _

_The man tottered off to the back of the store, leaving Estella and Remus to stare at each other in bewilderment. Before they could trade words, however, the wand maker had returned bearing an extremely old and dusty box. _

"_Here." He said reverently, removing the lid and gingerly extracting its contents from inside, holding it out to Estella. "Blackwood, 10 inches. Dragon Heartstring."_

_No sooner had Estella made contact with the handle of the wand, was she overwhelmed with a flood of electrifyingly warmth. Her whole body tingled with magical energy, and the wand itself glowed. Estella knew from what her Uncle had told her that she would bond more completely with the wand that specifically chose her, but this was more than she had ever imagined. It was like an old pair of boots that fit extremely well… or like the magically charmed-to-fit socks Dumbledore handed out like lemon drops at Christmas time. _

"_Wow!" Estella and Remus had exclaimed simultaneously. _

"_Remarkable, truly remarkable." Ollivander said, clasping his hands together. "Very rarely is a wand maker so thoroughly rewarded by a perfect fit!"_

"_Perfect fit?" Estella asked dumbly, her body still adjusting to the draw of the wand. _

"_I suspect it's to do with the bond you've established with your parent's wands. Your magic is sufficiently more mature and receptive than most buying their first wand." Ollivander explained. "Still… this is very interesting indeed."_

"_What is 'very interesting indeed'?" Estella asked, getting a little unnerved by the man's demeanour._

"_That your wand is born of the very same tree as that of your mother's wand." Ollivander said reverently. "And the dragon that supplied your wand its core yielded heartstrings for one other." Ollivander explained, waiting for the puzzle to piece together for the child. "Yes, child. Your father."_

"_Oh, great." Estella said, unsure how to take the news. Then, something in a long-forgotten potions reading raised the question. "But for a Dragon to give up more than one heartstring wouldn't it be dead? I thought it was only safe for Dragons to only yield one?"_

"_I see your Uncle has you well versed in your magical properties." Ollivander beamed. "Yes you are quite right, child. The dragon who bequested his heartstrings did in fact die. Draco was a very old, very wise dragon who passed over defending Hogwarts from attack during the Goblin revolutions. He was the founder's inspiration for the school motto and his very essence lives on in the protective wards around the school."_

_Remus looked at Estella's wand with big eyes. "You mean to say Estella and Sirius share the same core and that core comes from… I thought that was only a myth! And why were the wands only sold so very recently and not hundreds of years ago?"_

"_Draco, as he was best known, did in fact exist, long ago." Ollivander said. "And you should know by now Mr Lupin, that the wand chooses the wizard."_

_Estella nodded slowly. "But what does it all mean, sir?" She asked. "That I share my wand's properties with my parents?"_

_Ollivander gazed at Estella regretfully. "I means you were destined to forge a great bond with your parents." He said gravely._

"_Well, uh, my Uncle will simply delight in that information." Estella said sarcastically, falling back into the familiar warmth of her Godfather's steadying form as the alpha wizard's chest rumbled slightly in mirth. _

"_But doesn't Harry Potter share his…" She said after few moments thought. _

_Ollivander looked at Estella sharply. "A unfortunate consequence of the curse cast on him as an infant." Ollivander hypothesised. "The boy's magic absorbed the signature of his attacker when he-who-shall-not-be-named was felled."_

"_Oh." Estella said. 'And this coincidence here could merely be because I've used my parents wands for years, you dolt! 'Great bond' indeed!' She completed in her mind. _

"_How much do we owe you for the wand?" Remus asked politely from behind her._

end flashback.

"Excuse me? Hello?" A high pitched voice stirred Estella from her thoughts. The train was moving.

'When had that happened?' Estella wondered as she rubbed the kink out of her neck and looked at the newcomer blankly.

The girl in question brushed her loose, waist-length dirty blonde hair out over he shoulder and stared at her with sunken grey eyes; a permanently fixed look of surprise on her face. "Don't suppose I could sit in here? The other compartments are too full."

The girl sat down without waiting for a response from Estella, a necklace of butterbeer bottle caps rattling and shaking as she did. Estella tilted her head to observe the strange newcomer, taking in her casual blue robes and eccentricities.

'Apparently a pureblood' Estella assessed, logically concluding that a Muggleborn or a half-blood would have a) had sense to wear Muggle clothes when arriving to Kings Cross since only Purebloods seemed to go to the trouble and expense of port keys and b) A Muggleborn would definitely not have had access to so many bottles of Butterbeer.

"How many bottles of Butterbeer did you have to drink to make that necklace?" Estella asked, intrigued.

"Only 164." The girl recited by rote. "I collected every cap from every bottle I drank over the Summer. I wanted to have something to remember the Summer by."

"Oh." Estella said, raising her eyebrows in surprise. Then, holding out her wrist where her Reading Festival wristband was clinging for dear life, she concluded. "I kept this."

At the girl's blank look Estella continued. "It's an admittance wristband for a wicked Muggle Music Festival in Berkshire that my Godfather took me to over the weekend." She said, flicking her wild mane of hair out of her face. She hadn't cut it all Summer. "It was his going away present to me, though I think it made him go grey. It was wild! Kept it on to show my Uncle when I got to school… I'm Estella Black by the way."

The blond-haired girl accepted the hand Estella was incidentally holding out and shook it in introduction. "Luna Lovegood." She said. "Say, my father has written some articles on your Dad in his magazine. He's the editor of The Quibbler."

"Never heard of it." She said truthfully. "My Uncle only ever subscribes to The Daily Prophet and some Potions Periodicals. Sorry."

"That's right, Severus Snape is your Uncle." She said, nodding incessantly. "My father interviewed him at your parents wedding. He's kept every single issue he's edited and I catalogue them every Summer."

"Oh," Estella said, wary of the bubbly girl and somewhat perturbed with the idea that her parents had a 'society wedding'.

"For what it's worth, The Quibbler never believed Sirius Black was guilty." She said. "My father prides himself on what other's don't. Even when it's controversial."

Estella glared at the girl in shock. "But he was guilty!" She blurted. "He's in Azkaban! How could he not be?"

"Well, there's this theory…" Luna started, unfazed.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to get off on the wrong foot with you," Estella said snappily. "But I'd really rather not discuss my father and your conspiracy theories."

Luna blinked at her. "Well, alright." She said, pulling out the latest issue of The Quibbler and proceeding to flick through it upside down. "Did you know my father secured an exclusive interview with a Hoobastank in this latest issue? Pity the photos didn't turn out!"

The raven-haired girl was about to criticise Luna by pointing out that Hoobastanks were mythological creatures that never existed – and even if they did they were long extinct – but the carriage door opened to reveal none other than Draco Malfoy.

"Top of the morning to you, Cousin of mine." He said silkily, bowing dramatically in his Slytherin robes. "I finally found you at last. I didn't see you on the platform."

"Good morning, Draco." Estella said bemusedly. "I've been on the train since a little after 10. I suspect you arrived thereafter." Then, as an afterthought she added blandly. "I trust your Summer went well."

Draco took the seat next to Estella without invitation. "Oh, my Summer was just swell." Draco lamented, his voice thick with sarcasm. "Though I daresay it would have been much more to my liking with someone like you in it."

"Still looking for a worthy playmate, Draco?" Estella rolled her eyes. "Getting tired of ordering your minions around? You poor thing. Where are Beavis and Butthead anyway?"

"Who?" Draco said, missing the Muggle reference and thinking she'd merely forgotten their names. "You mean Grabbe and Goyle, right? They're standing sentinel outside this very carriage. Can't have them in here cramping your style."

"Oh Dray, you're too much!" Estella squealed, laying it on thick.

The suave white-haired Slytherin stared at Estella in shock. "Did you just call me 'Dray'?" He asked. Estella nodded. "No one's ever called me that before. I think I like it. Only you can call me that of course."

"Of course." Estella said, rolling her eyes.

"It's a pleasure to see you in good health after your Summer." Draco said congenially. "Mother asked me to watch out for you today seeing how Uncle Severus has to conduct himself as a teacher would during the term now that you're a student."

"I'm touched by the gesture." Estella said, truly touched. "Please be sure to pass on my regards to your mother."

"Certainly." Draco promised, staring at her intently. "Whatever is that on your wrist?"

Estella pulled at the sleeves of her robe in response. "This? Oh, this…" She said, thinking quickly. "Damn Portkey was out by a few metres and the dumb Muggle conductor wouldn't let me pass without wearing one."

Luna looked up from her magazine and gave her a quizzical look, but kept her mouth shut when she saw Estella shake her head ever so slightly.

"Shall I do the honours of removing the hideous thing for you?" Draco said, drawing his wand in a gentlemanly manner.

"Oh, no." Estella said, thankful that the writing on the band had all but disappeared and Draco had no clue on Muggle procedures to doubt her story. "I want my Uncle to see first hand the physical manhandling I was forced to endure thanks to his inaccuracies in targeting a simple port key." She said, cementing the cover story that Estella had ported to the platform from her Uncle's quarters in Hogwarts to experience the journey with the other first years. "I'm still angry with him for not accompanying me to the platform, and this will secure his guilt."

Draco leant back, relaxed in her company. "You'll be an asset to Slytherin." He said coyly.

"What makes you think I will be sorted into Slytherin?" Estella said, just as coyly, her eyebrow raised. "Why, I could have already been sorted…"

"You haven't though, have you?" Draco blurted.

"My, my." Estella said playfully. "Could it be that Draco Malfoy is anxious to see what house little ol' me is sorted into?"

"Of course!" Draco said irritably. "Though I think I can clearly rule out Gryffindor or Hufflepuff. Ravenclaw is a distant possibility, but you're assuredly a Slytherin! Look at your bloodlines! You've been living with our Housemaster your entire life!"

Estella smiled falsely at Draco. She hoped she wasn't in Slytherin. It'd be far too exhaustive to have to play the part of loyal niece-of-death-eater 24/7. Playing buddy-buddy with Draco was hard enough. Not that she loathed the boy, but she knew that the moment he discovered her true ambiguity towards the politics his family held dear, he'd turn like the tide and she'd have to watch her back. Even if blood was thicker than water, her relationship with Draco was hardly close enough to guarantee immunity from the Malfoy wrath. Heck, if Draco had turned around and told his parents he was marrying a Muggle Lucius would probably go so far as to kill his own son rather than bear the shame of it.

Careful. She had to be careful. Thankfully, she had been taught by the best.

End Chapter: Missing Moments, Magical Musings….


	49. The Sorting

Updated:Tuesday 15th March 2005

Disclaimer: Where else? Chapter one of course:P

**Chapter Forty Nine: The Sorting **

Estella had finally shaken Draco off when he left her in the Entrance Hall with all the other first years to go take his seat with the older students. Since the blond haired boy had been unrelenting ever since he found her on the train she had unfortunately been unable to seek out and say hello to either Hermione or Harry. In fact, whilst she had seen Hermione from a distance as she was swept up in the crowd entering the Great Hall, she hadn't seen Harry… or his shadow, Ron, for that matter, all day.

"Good Evening students." Professor McGonagall began her welcoming address from the top of the stairs leading into one of the Great hall's antechambers. "If you will follow me in an orderly fashion, you will be sorted and join the rest of the students momentarily. You might care to take the time to make yourselves… presentable."

Estella rolled her eyes. It was the same every year. From where she'd sometimes sit in a shadowed alcove on the floor above she'd always had a good view. But now it was different somehow. Now it was happening to her. She was about to be sorted… finally.

As soon as the Deputy Headmistress lead them into the Great Hall and the Sorting Hat started its song, Estella scanned the faces in the room for her Uncle and her friends. While she could see Draco looking at her intently from his pride of place at the Slytherin Table (and noticed with grim realisation that he had ensured the seat at his right hand was vacant in anticipation of her favourable sorting), she could not see her Uncle at his place at the Head table, nor could she see the familiar duo of red on black hair side by side at its usual spot amongst the scarlet and gold.

Estella felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. First her Uncle had abandoned her accidentally on Christmas because of a school matter, and now he was going to miss her sorting? So many parents, she imagined, would give their right leg to have the privilege to be present at their child's sorting instead of hearing about it second-hand and yet here her Uncle was – her only guardian and family in the free world – and he was taking advantage of the unique advantage his position put him in. In the midst of her troubled meanderings, the Sorting Hat completed its verse.

"Elijah Abercrombie." Professor McGonagall called out in a firm voice.

A short, bespectacled blue-eyed boy with tight black curls edged towards the stool cautiously.

"Gryffindor!" The hat cried with barely a moment's time to think.

"Sean Ackerley!"

Sean Ackerley was a abnormally tall, skinny, sandy-haired boy who after a few indecisive moments became the first Ravenclaw of the school year.

Mallory Baddock and Malvern Bletchley were both sorted into Slytherin, who were looking decidedly smug that they had the most number of new students so far. Estella watched with unease as Draco shoved the weedy Bletchley boy aside when he attempted to take the empty seat at his side.

'He is saving it for me!' She groaned inwardly as Jack Barry was sorted into Hufflepuff.

"Estella Black!" Professor McGonagall called her name impatiently. Estella was too busy looking at Draco and wondering where in the four elements was her Uncle to pay any attention. It was normally a good thing that Estella's name fell at the beginning of roll calls, but if Estella had had it her way she would have been happy to laze back detachedly and watch as her classmates were sorted in her stead.

"ESTELLA BLACK!" Professor McGonagall snapped, more loudly this time, as her eyes sought out the child she knew from sight only too well.

First years around her having noticing Professor McGonagall's eyes on the unresponsive child nudged her urgently. Estella snapped out of her daze unperturbedly and sauntered over to the stool with a casualness that belied her inner turmoil.

Where was her Uncle?

"Ah, another Black I see!" The Sorting Hat's voice floated in through her head. Estella wondered vaguely if the school had ever had a problem with head lice given its sorting method.

"I assure you I am charmed against unwanted guests" The Hat answered, mirroring her thoughts. "The Snape blood runs strongly in your veins I see. How interesting that a Black and a Snape should have joined in marriage…"

"Am I getting sorted sometime today or did my Uncle bribe you to draw this out until he arrived at his convenience?" Estella thought bitingly.

"You have inherited the temperament of both your lines." The Hat observed. "I can see a future for you in Slytherin, you know. Both your families have been almost exclusively of that House…"

If Estella could growl in telepathic thought she would have. The Hat sensed her aversion regardless. "A strong conglomerate of Slytherin minds in your family, it is true… but not recently, no?" The Hat continued. "Your mother was a Ravenclaw if I am not mistaken… and your father a Gryffindor."

"Yeah and my Uncle's a Slytherin and there's a partridge in the pear tree… so what of it? You want to make me a Hufflepuff or something so that you can tell my children my family has a royal flush?" Estella snapped, feeling tired from her journey and let down by her Uncle's absence. The man hadn't seen her for eight weeks and he couldn't even greet her at the station. Either at Kings Cross or Hogsmeade and he misses her sorting!

"You are quiet, yes, and loyal… I see that too… but I don't think Hufflepuff is the right place for you. Your father was difficult to place also if my memory serves me correctly. He was the first Black in history to be sorted in a house other than Slytherin; and to make that change to Gryffindor I'm sure ruffled a few feathers in his household, no?" The Hat laughed, much to Estella's disgust. "Now, where to put you…"

"Ravenclaw." Estella hinted suddenly. She didn't know if it was because she wanted to associate with a part of her mother or if it was because she really didn't want to take that seat next to Draco, but it felt right.

"I see you have made up your mind then, child." The Hat said.

"I thought it was your job to sort?" Estella spluttered before the Hat could determine her fate.

"Far be it for me to place a student where they did not want to be. You would have done equally as well in Slytherin." The Hat said. "Know, however, that your Father was sorted into Gryffindor for good reason."

"What has that got to do with anything?" Estella asked.

"All is not as it seems, young Black." The Hat said cryptically, before shouting for the audience to hear. "RAVENCLAW!"

Estella wrenched the Hat from her head in disgust and stormed towards the Ravenclaw table, absently noting the sympathetic look Draco had cast her.

'Ha! He thinks I'm ticked off because I didn't get into Slytherin!' She thought triumphantly. Then, casting a look to her Uncle's empty chair a malevolent thought crossed her mind. 'I should tell Uncle Sev I got sorted into Gryffindor!'

Smirking evilly and with a glint in her eye, Estella took her seat at the Ravenclaw table, her mind plotting. She had no clue what the Sorting Hat was talking about, but she could only scoff at the vague implication that the Sorting Hat thought that all Gryffindors were incapable of wrong doings and innocent of their crimes.

Yep, there was no doubting that Godric Gryffindor had charmed the Sorting Hat. Typical egomaniacal Gryffindor! Glaring at the said table for lack of something better to do, Estella tried to quash the frame of mind that lingered in the background of her consciousness nagging at her, agreeing with the hat in that she probably would have done just as well in Slytherin.

"Estella!" A familiar voice screeched at her in excitement from close range. "I'm a Ravenclaw too!"

Languidly shifting her eyes to fix upon the source of the interruption to her thoughts, Estella was hardly surprised to see Luna. "Congratulations on stating the obvious." She said sarcastically, gesturing to the table they were sitting at. "Sorry, I'm a little put out that my Uncle is not at the Head Table like he always is." She added as a afterthought. She would, after all, be sharing a room with the girl in front of her for the next seven years.

'Strange too, that Dumbledore and McGonagall were no longer present.' She realised with a start. 'When had that happened?'

"No problem." Luna said dismissively. "Hey maybe your Uncle stayed away because he wants to find out what house you got into the same way as all the other parents or something." She said lamely.

"Yeah, whatever." Estella said. "Let's just listen to the rest of the sorting, Never saw Professor Flitwick read out the names before! And I've been at every sorting Ceremony for as long as I can remember! Wonder where Professor's Dumbledore and McGonagall went?"

Luna giggled quietly before settling down to watch the rest of the sorting with Estella.

As the names wore on and the group of first years waiting at the front of the room grew smaller, Estella recognised a lot of the new student's surnames from older siblings she'd watch get sorted years previously. The fleeting thought of what would her life be like if she had a sibling passed through her mind as quickly as it came and she propped her elbows up on the table to cradle her head in her hand. All she wanted to do was have dinner and go to bed. Better still… a bowl of popcorn and a beanbag in front of a late night Back to the Future movie marathon on home video with Remus was looking increasingly appealing. Anything but listening to that blasted Hat go on… and on… and on… 'I wonder if there's a home schooling program' Estella thought absently, before slapping her head. 'Bugger, I live in a school…'

Finally, after Chester Warrington was sorted into Slytherin and Ginevra Weasley went to Gryffindor (no real surprise there) the last two students – Kelly Whitby and Steven Zeller – went to Hufflepuff and Professor Dumbledore stood to officiate the feast. 'When had he gotten back?'

"Bludder, Ointment, Toil and Tweak." Estella lip-synched in perfect time with the Headmaster's favourite last words. Rolling her eyes, she made small talk with her new house mates and tucked into the feast before her, resolved to sneak off to the Dungeons as soon as she finished eating to seek out her truant Uncle.

* * *

Rising to her feet to leave the table before she had even finished chewing on her last mouthful of custard tart, Estella left the Great Hall before the prefects had even begun to think about escorting the first years to their new home. It was not as though Estella couldn't find her own way there before curfew… and if no one was about to give her the password she could just get in through the teacher's entrance. The passwords to the teacher's passages hadn't changed for as long as she could remember and were unlikely to do so provided she didn't draw attention to the privilege.

Tracing the familiar path back down to the dungeons lost in her own thoughts, Estella was caught unawares when she collided with a wild mix of black and red as they came tearing around the corner.

"Gerroff!" A voice that was so unmistakably Ron's cried out.

"No one's on you Ron. You're all legs and arms!" Harry's voice said exasperatedly. "Estella? Is that you?"

"No, it's her doppelganger!" Estella said sarcastically, standing up and dusting herself off. "Where have you been all night?"

"Couldn't get through the platform, flew a car to Hogwarts." Harry said, still slightly out of breath. "Crashed into the Whomping Willow."

Estella whistled. "Let me guess, my Uncle caught you and his eyes lit up like Christmas trees." She deadpanned, inwardly fuming that he would let his childhood animosity towards Harry's father keep him away from her sorting.

"Yeah, he's on a rampage. McGonagall and Dumbledore came after the sorting and stopped him from expelling us." Harry said. "I probably wouldn't go down there if I were you!"

Estella rolled her eyes. "Please, I know how to handle him."

"Yeah you're probably running to tell him all about his latest Slytherin recruit." Ron blurted out.

Two pairs of eyes glared at him. "Actually, for your information, I was going down there to carve him a new one for missing the sorting." Estella snapped, starting to walk away, suddenly not feeling very socialble. "You guys better scram before there's no food left in the Great Hall. I'll see you round."

"Wait, what house did you get into?" Harry called after her, with no response.

The last thing Estella heard as she fled out of earshot was Ron admonishing Harry for caring about what house she was in and then grumbling something about not looking forward to the next morning's post.

End Chapter: The Sorting


	50. Conversations

Updated: Wednesday 16th March 2005

Disclaimer: Where else? Chapter one of course:P

**Chapter Fifty: Conversations**

Storming into her Uncle's quarters in less than a good mood, Estella found it empty. Guessing he was either in his office writing his latest complaint to Dumbledore about how lenient the school was on Harry's rule breaking or down in the Slytherin dungeons giving his Housemaster's address, she curled up on her favourite chair and savoured the peace and quiet as she waited.

"Severus! Are you back from the feast yet? SEVERUS!" A voice called out from the fireplace.

Estella's eyes flew open in surprise as she saw the silhouette of her Godfather's face in the fireplace. "Uncle Remus?" She asked.

"Estella? I didn't expect to find you down here!" Remus said jovially. "This is even better than hearing it from your Uncle! How'd it go, cub?"

Smiling her first real smile since breakfast, Estella sat on the floor in front of the hearth and gloated. "Well, for starters you owe me a record collection…"

Remus nodded dismissively, waiting for her to say the word. When she let the sentence hang, he urged her on. "Well?"

"You never told me my Mother was a Ravenclaw." Estella said accusingly, a slight lilt in her voice.

After a few moments of thought, a look of pride flew over Remus' face. "That's fantastic news, Estella! Congratulations." He said warmly. "What did your Uncle have to say?"

A dark look crossed over Estella's face. "I haven't seen him yet. He wasn't at the sorting." She said, frowning.

"Oh, Cub…" Remus said softly, a look of concern on his face. "I am sure there's a valid explanation."

"Yeah, he was too busy trying to get Harry Potter expelled again, that's what!" She snapped, on the verge of tears. "I wish he would just get over himself."

"Do you want me to come over?" Remus offered.

"No." Estella said after some thought. "I won't be able to make it through this if I just expect to be able to Floo you every time I want to. The other first years manage."

Remus looked at her thoughtfully. "So anyway, how was the train trip? Make any new friends?" He asked, changing the subject.

"I sat with Draco Malfoy almost the entire way." Estella said. "He was my own personal shadow."

Narrowing his eyes, Remus sighed. "I know your Uncle has to maintain certain appearances, but I really don't like…"

"Dray's not that bad." She said, unconvinced. "As long as he doesn't find out that I don't give a toss one way or the other about blood lines and all that stuff he's actually pretty decent."

"Dray?" Remus asked warningly. "I hope you aren't taking it upon yourself to make friends with the boy. The more you see of him the more chances he will find out where your loyalties lie."

"I couldn't exactly find an excuse to avoid him on the train once he'd found me!" Estella said defensively. "Besides, if I was up for playing happy families, I wouldn't have asked the Sorting Hat to not put me in Slytherin!"

"What did you say?" A voice said softly from behind her. A beat. "Lupin, get out of my fireplace."

With that, Severus Snape waved his wand and closed the grate – cutting off the Floo connection whether Remus wanted to or not. Estella, meanwhile, turned around to see the hard look on her Uncle's face. If she didn't know any better, she'd say he almost looked hurt.

"Well hello to you too!" Estella said sarcastically, getting to her feet. "How was your Summer? Nice to see you after all this time."

"Estella!" Severus said shakily, grasping her gently but firmly on the shoulders. "What is the matter with you?"

"Do you know what time it is?" Estella asked flippantly. "Because evidently you have been too busy to look at a clock lately."

Severus took a step back and ran a hand through his hair. "I apologise for missing the sorting. Things were out of my control." He sighed.

"Oh of course they were!" Estella said, making for the door. "Like you couldn't just wait till the first day of classes to torture Harry you had to get some shots in early."

"I take it you encountered Messieurs Potter and Weasley in the hall." Severus said wearily. "So you must undoubtedly understand that a matter such as that could not go unaddressed."

"I'm sure if you really wanted to be at the sorting you could have put it off!" Estella muttered, reaching for the door handle as tears burned in her eyes. "I just came to see you and tell you what house I got into since I haven't seen you all Summer, but obviously I was under the misconception that you actually cared. So I'll be going now."

Severus muttered a few curses under his breath and waved his wand at the door forcefully, slamming it shut before Estella had so much as got it half way open. "Come. Back. Here. Now." He said in a firm tone that even in her present state of mind, Estella knew far better than to argue with.

Moving so that he was standing directly in front of the obstinate child, he raised her chin gently with his hand so he could meet her eyes. "Contrary to what my actions may impress, do not doubt that I have readily anticipated your return." He said softly. "You need only ask Mr Potter to hear how thoroughly displeased I was at being kept from the ceremony."

Her lower lip trembling uncontrollably, the unshed tears that flooded her eyes began to fall in earnest as Estella leant forward to rest her forehead on her Uncle's chest. Relaxing in her presence, Severus stroked her hair soothingly and sighed. Seeing her this way never got any easier. It didn't help his conscience that he didn't really have to have gone to the Headmaster's office to write the letters to Weasley and Potter's relatives straight away. The Headmaster was inclined to wait until the next day so that he could go enjoy the custard tart at the Feast; but having figured he'd missed the sorting anyway he did not think it ill at the time to miss the Feast entirely before heading directly to his House's Common Room to conduct the opening address and orientation for the first years.

"I see your Godfather didn't see fit to do anything with your hair while you were in London." He said dryly, with his own unique brand of humour.

The child leaning on his chest sniffed loudly. "I see you weren't inspired by any of the new Summer fashions." She replied just as sardonically, slipping back into their familiar banter with ease.

Sensing the emotional outburst had hurdled its peak, Severus rubbed Estella's shoulders briskly and handed her a handkerchief.

"I do hope this mood isn't a indicator of how you spent your Summer." He said conversationally. "It would be entirely redundant for us both to have been so miserable."

Estella rolled her eyes. "I missed you too, Uncle Sev." She said, giving him a little squeeze. "But I won't deny that I had an absolutely wicked time anyway."

Severus nodded. "Care to join me for a hot chocolate?" He asked, gesturing towards their usual seats. After seeing Estella's hesitation he added as a reassurance. "I assure you that your head of house will not mind?"

Estella smirked. "I'm sure they won't." She agreed, taking her seat and ignoring his obvious nudge for information.

After ordering their hot chocolate and a light supper (more for Severus since he had missed dinner), the pair exchanged casual conversation about each other's holiday. Finally, Severus could take it no more.

"Alright. Tell me." He said, putting down his mug and staring at her intently. "Did the hat listen to you when you said you didn't want to go to Slytherin?"

Estella looked curiously at her Uncle, not missing the look of insecurity and question that lingered in his eyes. "I did ask the hat to not put me in Slytherin." She admitted, then to ally his fears she added. "But it wasn't because of you, Uncle Sev. I just didn't think I could handle having to sit next to Draco at every meal."

Severus couldn't help himself, he laughed with relief.

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you." Estella said forlornly, lowering her head in what looked to be shame, but was really her attempt to keep a smile off her face. "The Hat… well… it… kinda listened to me."

The older wizard looked at her uneasily.

Estella looked up fleetingly and sighed. "I really didn't think the Hat would put me in Gryffindor!" She exclaimed, burying her face in her hands to hide her mirth – but not before her mind forever captured the stunned look on her Uncle's face.

"You… you were sorted into Gryffindor?" The man asked, in shock.

Estella looked at him dumbly after giving herself a few moments to absorb his shock. "I said I didn't think the Hat would put me in Gryffindor." She said, her different tone presenting the statement in a whole different context. "I never said it did."

Severus growled. He had been duped big time. Forgoing his immediate desire to scream in relief, he settled for looking at her expectantly.

"Ravenclaw, Uncle Sev." She said affirmatively. "Like I'd ever be considered Hufflepuff material!."

"Congratulations. Your Mother's house." He said wistfully.

"The Hat told me as such." Estella said. "Wait, you're not mad I didn't get into Slytherin?"

Severus looked directly at his niece, a unmistakable depth in his eyes. "You are your own person, Estella Black." He said. "You will do well wherever you go."

Scoffing indignantly, Estella rolled her eyes. "Yeah, like you'd be saying that if I had been sorted into Gryffindor."

"My sentiments would have remained the same." He said. "However, had you been sorted into Gryffindor it would have posed a few problems, as I am sure you can understand."

"Right, Slytherin housemaster and all that." She said, placing significant emphasis on the last word.

"I am pleased you understand my… our… position." Severus intoned. "To be quite honest, I had just as many reservations about your possible admittance into Slytherin. In fact I would have insisted you reside here had you been so sorted. You are much too young to have to take on a fulltime role of espionage. I am pleased you got into Ravenclaw. They are neutral in the house rivalries and you will be free to maintain some semblance of normal liaisons with your fellow students without the omnipresence of Draco Malfoy observing your every move."

Estella yawned and nodded, relieved that she and her Uncle were on the same page.

Severus smirked. "Now who is losing track of time, hmmm?" He mocked. "It's ten minutes to curfew."

"Ten minutes?" Estella shrieked. "I haven't even unpacked!"

"Come, I will Floo you to your Housemaster's office." He said, pulling her to her feet as he stood. "I will account for your absence during the first year's orientation. You hardly needed the tour anyway."

Estella nodded and leant sleepily into her Uncle as he directed her into the floo. When she eventually got up to her room she fell into bed fully clothed and was asleep before her feet even left the floor. Her last thought before she slipped into the land of nod was that in 12 short hours she would be starting her very first day of classes at Hogwarts.

* * *

A short explanation and polite declination to join the vertically challenged Ravenclaw Housemaster for a 'spot of tea' later, Severus returned to his quarters. Sighing at the signs of his recent company, he was filled with a sudden sense of emptiness. A pair of mugs sat on the coffee table. Crumbs on the arm of his niece's armchair from when she'd neglected to eat her biscuit over its saucer. The soft, thick throw lying rumpled and creased over the back of the chair from where it bunched up in her presence and the remnants of a Muggle 'admittance' wristband that had torn from her wrist as she sat fiddling with it while she recounted its origins. 

Sitting in the chair experimentally, he could even feel the slightest hint of her lingering body warmth wrap around him like a sleepy goodnight hug. They had been apart the longest they had been apart since she first came to him, and now he had just had her back for a few precious moments he was beginning to fully appreciate just how much he had truly missed her.

"Oh Estella," he mumbled into the dark, empty room, the embers on the fire were burning awfully low. "If only you knew what you do to me."

Taking a deep breath, Severus Snape resealed the gates to his heart and vanished the dirty crockery with a wave of his wand. Passing Estella's cold and barren room on the way to his private rooms, a part of him couldn't help but wish he could just insist that the child reside down here during the term. He didn't even know what the dorms in Ravenclaw House looked like, and it unnerved him that he didn't even know exactly where to go to fetch the child should some disaster befall the school.

'Stop it Severus, you're being ridiculous!' He accosted himself. 'Every parent must go through this the first night their child is away from school! Just because I reside within the School it would be wrong to treat the child differently and deprive her of part of the school experience!'

By the time he had finished arguing with himself and his head finally hit the pillow, Severus was too tired to even realise he had referred to himself as Estella's parent.

End Chapter: Conversations


	51. Getting Settled

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated: Tuesday 22nd March 2005

**Chapter Fifty One: Getting Settled**

Due to the fact that September the first had fallen on a Tuesday, the students of Hogwarts started their academic year on Wednesday's timetable. Peering down at her schedule as she sipped her morning tea and picked at her toast, Estella mapped out her day. The Ravenclaw first years were to start their term with double Transfiguration with the Gryffindors, followed by Charms (again with the Gryffindors) and Herbology (with the Slytherins) after morning tea. Then, after lunch they would wind up their day with the Slytherins in a double dose of History of Magic. Estella groaned.

"What's the matter?" Allegra Chambers, who occupied the bed next to Estella, muttered distantly as she poured herself over her transfiguration text, conscientiously nervous about her very first class. Allegra was a small, nerdy looking muggleborn girl with light brown hair she had so far always worn in a no-nonsense plait that stretched far down her back. With her crisp, clean clothes tailored precisely to abide by uniform regulations and her stylish wire rimmed glasses, the girl was never without a book in hand and was, really, the consummate Ravenclaw.

"Double dose of McGonagall today, that's what." Estella mourned. "Rounded up with a dead boring double of History!"

Allegra rolled her eyes.

"Well I happen to find History of Magic to be a fascinating subject!" A nauseatingly nasal boy's voice squeaked prissily from across the table. "Owen Quirke, by the way." He continued. "Evidently you haven't read the supplementary readings yet, otherwise you would be agreeing with me."

Estella glared down her nose at the annoying little swot. "Obviously you haven't met the teacher yet!" She retorted with a knowing lilt to her voice.

"I heard a rumour that the History of Magic teacher is a ghost." A tall athletic boy by the name of Reginald Davies cut in. "My brother Roger is a few years above us and he told me. I don't know whether to believe him or not."

"It's true alright." Another girl from Estella's dorm, Shannon Fawcett, confirmed. "There's a chapter on him in the revised edition of 'Hogwarts: A History'"

"He's a ghost?" Owen spluttered. "How is that even possible?"

"He fell asleep in front of the staffroom fire one day and when he got up to teach again he left his body behind." Estella said factually, rolling her eyes at the simplicity. Out of all of her housemates, the only ones she liked so far were Reg, Ally, Luna and Elsie – who was a quiet little thing that hadn't yet said a word for she was too busy doing the crossword in that morning's Daily Prophet. Incidentally, she'd gone to school in Hogsmeade with Shannon and Owen, so she was more than used to their competitive banter; but other than that and the student's she'd met, she didn't really know who the rest of her Ravenclaw housemates were.

* * *

"Miss Black!" The stern Transfiguration teacher's voice managed in a strangled sort of way. "Have you not listened to a single word I have said? You are saying the incantation wrong! Your wandmanship is sloppy and all over the place!" 

"I'm sorry, Professor." Estella hissed through gritted teeth. She'd known McGonagall would be hard on her, but this was bordering on ridiculous. In her private tutorials with her Uncle and Godfather Transfiguration had always been her weakest link (perhaps because neither of her teachers had been proficient enough in the subject to teach her adequately) and so she was pretty much starting the subject at the same level as everyone else. "I am trying!"

"Given your clear advantage over the other students…" McGonagall's eyes bore into her, the implication clear. "I expect more from you. Clearly your guardians have done nothing but fill your head with incorrect technique."

"Well if I have incorrect technique and the other first years have no technique, wouldn't that put me at a disadvantage, Professor?"

Shaking her head forcefully, McGonagall glared. "You are putting the rest of the class at a disadvantage every moment I have to stop and undo the fallacious handiwork of your Uncle's inefficient attempts of teaching you."

"Why are you being so mean?" Estella asked suddenly, even though she knew full well what the answer was. "I didn't exactly ask for the life I've been given."

"You may not have been given parents, you ungrateful child, but the life you have led is far from unfortunate." McGonagall leant close to Estella's ear, a unbidden pain in her eyes. "You are alive."

"Then why do I get the feeling you wish that wasn't so?" Estella asked haughtily.

McGonagall reared back, the pain in her eyes still evident. "Five points from Slyth… Ravenclaw for class disruption." She snapped, her lips in a thin line as she straightened and returned to teaching.

Estella snorted derisively but accepted the bitter woman's terms for she knew it would get her nowhere. Several months earlier her Uncle had confided in her the truth behind the fallible deputy headmistress' ire. Apparently early in the first war many of the Hogwarts staff's families came under threat. Many of the spouses and children then came to reside at the school with the headmaster's blessing. Professor McGonagall, however, was fiercely loyal and dedicated to teaching her students to the best of her ability; and having her own young family on the premises, she felt, would distract her away from completing her duties as a teacher. Her family stayed behind in rural Scotland and became one of Voldemort's earliest victims. Estella, therefore, was the physical embodiment of the woman's mistake… she came to the school to live and survived… and McGonagall resented the fact that someone as cold and indifferent towards his students (and seemingly towards his niece) would be of mind to make a better choice than what she had.

It also did not help matters that Sirius Black had been amongst McGonagall's most favoured students and the teacher regretted letting the boy who grew to betray his friends and family get away with so much. On some level she blamed herself for Sirius Black going off the rails… if only she had been a bit more disciplinary. In the eyes of Sirius' daughter McGonagall sought redemption. She was not about to let another Black fall through the cracks – not on her watch. Estella knew this and tried valiantly not to take her teacher's ill attentions personally; but it was going to be hard.

* * *

Despite the initial dread, the day went relatively quickly. Given her experience with a wand, Estella was having little trouble mastering the practical complexities of correct wand movements and spell pronunciation and she was well on her way to becoming amongst the top in her class. Despite their thirst for knowledge, the other Ravenclaws were even inclined to agree with her about the dead boring nature of the History of Magic class, and by the end of the day, she had even made a few more friends. 

Victoria Frobisher was a pureblooded Gryffindor who was assigned Estella's partner in Charms. The pretty, athletic girl showed a particular passion for Charms and the pair hit it off almost immediately. In Transfiguration, she was teamed with another pureblooded Gryffindor, Kendra Towler whose older sibling Kenneth was a few years above them. Kendra was friends with Pheobe Stimpson, whose sister Patricia was in the same year as Kenneth; and the three of them sat with Elsie and Victoria (who were partnered together) and Reginald, who was Pheobe's partner. None of them could believe how cold the Transfiguration teacher had acted towards Estella.

* * *

"I don't understand!" Kendra had said as they left the lesson, shaking her head. "She wasn't like that at all to our house. Stern, yes, but angry and twisted? It's not like her!" 

"Kendra." Estella had said lowly. "You have known the woman less than a day. I've known her from afar my entire life. She has reasons for singling me out, but it's really not my place to say."

"You shouldn't have to put up with it." Reg frowned. "Go to Professor Flitwick… or your Uncle."

"She is not being fair." Pheobe had thrown in. "You didn't do anything wrong!"

Estella shook her head. "You should see how my Uncle treats her Gryffindors. Compared to that, this was nothing."

"Really, they are acting like children! Does the headmaster know?" Elsie said indignantly.

"Yes." Estella said, sighing as she nodded. "But he's long since come to accept that some things won't change." Then, to change the subject, she smirked. "Good thing one of us knows where the Charms classroom is!"

* * *

In what probably was a result of her Uncle's subtle influence, Estella wasn't paired with any Slytherins in all of the classes the Ravenclaws shared with them. Instead, Estella's Herbology workgroup consisted of Reg and John Ryan, an Irish boy whose brother Barry was quite renown for his position on the Irish National Quidditch team. It was of no coincidence either, that Estella had been paired with purebloods in all of her classes. Her Uncle probably wanted to make it as easy as possible for Estella to form a 'politically acceptable' social circle. It was also no coincidence either, that the children she had been paired with came from politically neutral families – families that would neither be a direct target of trouble nor be inclined to scrutinise Estella's choices.

* * *

Thursday after morning tea marked Estella's first Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson with the new teacher, Professor Lockhart. Whilst anything was better than a stuttering man who had the spirit of the Dark Lord embedded in the back of his head, Estella quickly came to hate the superficial Defence teacher for his self-involved ego and inability to teach. Honestly, she'd learnt far more useful things in the sessions her Uncle and Godfather used to tutor her in – and that was before she was even old enough to 'handle' some of the more involved spells. 

Most of the lesson she spent huddled at her desk with Elsie and a Hufflepuff girl by the name of Ophelia Cauldwell forgoing the self-indulging fodder contained within the superfluous fodder of Lockhart's readings in favour of independently studying a real Defensive Arts book that her Uncle had given her long ago and trading insults about the oblivious teacher's inadequacies.

After lunch that day was a subject Estella was looking least forward to. Flying. Although one would think Estella would have had every opportunity to fly given that she lived at the School her entire life, the fiercely earthbound child had a paralysing fear of flying. Height itself did not bother her so much – the Astronomy Tower was by far one of her favourite haunts – but flying itself posed a dilemma. On some level, Estella supposed this irrational fear was predicated by her Uncle and Godfather's apparent reluctance to ever teach her to fly as a child. On some subconscious level she must have taken their reservations and amplified it so that the very notion of flying on a broom was akin to going down into the sub-levels of the dungeons where no wizard dare set foot for fear of reprisal by the many creatures that thrived down there in the dark.

"Stick out your right hand over your broom and say "Up!"" Madame Hooch repeated for her benefit, as she was startled from her musings. "Come child, what are you waiting for? The rest of the class have their brooms summoned and mounted already!"

Estella's cheeks burned at the slight giggles that rippled through the rest of the class – their eyes burning into her in anticipation.

"Up!" She said unconvincingly, secretly willing the broom to do anything but.

"Come on child, once more, with conviction!" Madame Hooch encouraged sternly.

"I hardly think this broom is safe." Estella said stubbornly in a effort to delay. "It looks like about ready to fall apart! What if it falls apart in the air, with me on it!"

"I assure you the brooms are regularly tested vigorously before and after each class!" Madame Hooch said impatiently, summoning the broom herself and thrusting it into Estella's hand. "Now mount!"

Closing her eyes in fear, Estella slowly began to mount her broom, her mind screaming for a miracle.

'Come on you stupid old broom!' she admonished in her mind. 'Break! Catch fire! Turn to dust! Just do not leave the ground with me on it!'

Sure enough, no sooner had Estella mounted the broom and was about to kick off did the broom splinter and crumble to pieces beneath her.

"That's vandalism of school property, Miss Black!" Madame Hooch screeched, mortified as though one of her favourite pets had just died. "What spell did you cast?"

Estella looked at the fuming woman, to her angry splinter-damaged hands, to the remnants of the broom on the grass below her. "I didn't." She said quietly.

Madame Hooch looked at her disbelievingly.

"Please, Miss." A mousy haired, rounded Hufflepuff called Walter Stebbins interceded from Estella's left. "I saw the whole thing. Estella's hands were on her broom the whole time!"

"I concur, Madame Hooch." Ophelia said from Estella's right. "I would most certainly have seen if Estella's wand left her robes. She's right handed, Miss."

"I have really good hearing too, Miss." Said Elsie, who had been standing close to Ophelia. "No one heard a spell being cast, did they?"

The rest of the class shook their heads affirmatively. At least there was something good to be found in having a class with a group of loyal Hufflepuff and altruistic Ravenclaws.

"Fine." Madame Hooch said, her lips in a thin line. "Miss Black you will sit out of this class until I speak to your Uncle about replacing the school broom."

Estella glared, taking a seat on the grass against the cool stone of the courtyard's wall and pouring herself into revising her Charms notes from that morning.

'Yes!' Her mind screamed triumphantly, beside herself with joy that she had avoided her flying lesson.

* * *

"Miss Black, see me after class." Her Uncle directed at her without looking up from his desk as the Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff class began its first Potions class of the year in a double session Friday morning before lunch. 

"Good Morning to you too." Estella mumbled under her breath in retort.

Ignoring her cheek – which he would most definitely have heard – he turned his attention to the rest of the class. "You will announce your presence by raising your hand when I call out your name." He ordered.

"Mr Ackerley!" A nervous looking Muggleborn Ravenclaw called Sean raised his hand.

"Mr Barry!" A Muggleborn Hufflepuff named Jack almost fainted in fright.

"Miss Black!" At her name, Estella felt her Uncle's eyes on her, giving her an unreadable look.

"Mr Bradley!" Another Muggleborn Ravenclaw, Jeremy raised his hand, a little more confidently than his peers.

"Mr Branstone!" Edward Branstone's mother had gone to school with the unruly Potions Master, thus he had come to the class with a little forewarning.

"Miss Carmichael!" Elsie put her hand up nonchalantly, but not without casting Estella a questioning look as though to ask 'You live with him?'

Ophelia, Allegra and Reginald's names were read out next, and you would be forgiven for thinking they were Gryffindors at how fearlessly they answered the register. Reg had even gone so far as to roll his eyes at the Professor! Lucky for him, however, Severus had his eyes cast down, reading the next name.

"Miss Dorny!" Severus called out before adding, "Your father was a Hufflepuff also. Performed dismally in Potions, see to it that you do not follow in his stead." Joan nodded her head jerkily.

Shannon and Luna's names were read out next, followed by two Muggleborn Hufflepuffs, Leon Madley and Eloise Midgen and Owen and John from Ravenclaw. Zacharias Smith, Walter Stebbins, Bethany Summers, Kelly Whitby and Steven Zeller were also present and accounted for.

Severus Snape put down the parchment and began his tirade. "You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making," he began. He spoke in barely more than a whisper, but they caught every word – like Professor McGonagall, Snape had the gift of keeping a class silent without effort. "As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses… I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death – if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach." (1)

More silence followed this little speech, save for Elsie who, from her seat next to Estella, was trying desperately not to laugh at Estella, who had been rolling her eyes and lip synching the Potion Master's long-used opening speech verbatim.

"Black!" Estella's Uncle said suddenly, his attention fully on her as though he could sense the pending disruption she was indirectly causing. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

"Draught of the Living Death, Sir" Estella replied in a bored tone, not missing a beat. 'Like, duh!'

"And where would you look, Miss Black, if I told you to find me a bezoar?"

'Second shelf on the left in your private storeroom…' Estella thought cheekily before lazily replying aloud, her eyes dancing. "From the stomach of a goat. Its properties are valuable in staving off most poisons, Sir."

"The difference between Monkshood and Wolfsbane?" Snape continued to bait Estella.

"Aconite, Sir?" Estella asked incredulously. "Why they are the same thing."

"Congratulations, Miss Black. One point to Ravenclaw for your fastidious knowledge of potions." Severus said. "However, for distracting your fellow class members and depriving them of the opportunity to reach that same superior level, I have no choice but to take that point back."

Estella smirked as she strode to the front of the class to collect the ingredients for the boil-curing potion they were to be making in class that day. Accurate proportions of dried nettles, snake fangs, horn slugs and porcupine quills soon found their way to the table where she sat with Elsie, who was setting up the cauldron.

"Shouldn't we wait for the teacher to go through the instructions on the board, first?" Elsie asked nervously as she saw Estella make quick work of crushing their snake fangs into a fine powder.

"Please," Estella moaned. "I can make this potion in my sleep! I was practicing some hexes a couple of years ago and gave myself a nasty bout of boils. As punishment for practicing magic without adult supervision my Uncle made me brew my own remedy."

"You hexed yourself?" Elsie asked, flabbergasted, as she set the horn slugs in the cauldron to stew before adding the finely chopped nettles and snake fang powder.

"Yeah," Estella said. "Learnt the hard way that I could only really use my Mother's wand for Charms. Had I used my other wand at the time the hex wouldn't have backfired."

"Who were you aiming at?" Elsie continued, adding the last of the snake fang powder and stirring the mixture with her wand several times counter clockwise as directed.

Estella grinned malevolently. "Argus Filch." She whispered, taking their cauldron off the burner so to add the last ingredient – porcupine quills.

Bottling a sample into a vial and cleaning the rest of their worktable with a efficiently cast 'Evanesco' the pair were first to finish their potion and so set about spending the remainder on the lesson reading from their texts and getting a head start on the one foot essay on Aconite the Professor was setting for homework.

When the clock ticked over to indicate the end of class, the rest of the students hastily submitted their samples and cleaned their worktables whilst Estella and Elsie casually packed their books into their book bags and made to leave the classroom.

"Oh wait," Estella said as they came to the front of the class. "Almost forgot, I am supposed to stay after."

"Want me and the others to wait outside?" Elsie asked, nodding towards the regular group of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff students she had formed a study group of sorts with.

"No, you go on ahead to lunch." Estella said. "I have a hunch I'll probably be eating down here whilst my Uncle lectures me on the value of school brooms or something."

Elsie rolled her eyes. "Well, you survived living with him this long… I suppose you will be alright."

Estella shooed the giggling girl off and skipped over to her Uncle's desk, leaning against it casually whilst her Uncle made a sweep of the room.

"How was your first week in classes?" He asked finally, after sealing the door and taking a stand across from Estella behind his desk so he could tidy his class notes.

"It was hardly a week, Uncle Sev!" Estella corrected. "Half more like."

"You did not think to Owl me at all with news of your progress?" Her Uncle continued, raising an eyebrow at her.

"I figured I'd be seeing you today, so what's the point?" She replied slowly.

"The point, Estella, is that in my capacity as your teacher you need to cease regarding me with the same level of familiarity you would a relative." He lectured. "Don't think I didn't notice your ire during my opening speech. I know it appears repetitive to you, but I will not tolerate such displays of blatant disrespect again, am I clear?"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Sev." Estella bowed her head. "I wasn't really intending to be disrespectful.

Severus gave his niece a hard look. "I know the first year syllabus may bore you in its simplicity, Estella. But you really must find other ways of keeping yourself amused in my class."

Estella sighed. "Alright, I promise." She said. "Can I go to lunch now?"

Severus strode across the room and stood beside the door that led to his private office and chambers. "I thought you may consider spending your afternoons with me on Friday as there are no more classes scheduled." He asked. "We can spend the afternoon brewing more challenging potions for the infirmary and reviewing your week."

"Does that mean I don't have to Owl you?" Estella asked, wary of the conditions.

"No, I will still appreciate an Owl when something significant happens." Severus said, narrowing his gaze. "I did not, for example, care much for hearing about your flying lesson from not only your teacher, but your Godfather who was rather concerned I would hold you accountable."

"Oh." Estella said, demonstrably humbled. "Well, alright then. I'll give you a head's up in future I guess."

"Indeed."

After a blissfully quiet lunch of spinach lasagne and poached chicken, the pair retreated to Severus' private lab for an afternoon of potions brewing.

"I do expect you to inform me if you have other school work that needs doing during this time." Severus had warned. "We need not spend this time brewing."

"I've done all my homework, Sir." Estella moaned, slipping into student mode.

"Uncle Sev?" Her voice cut across the silence after a few minutes of companionable brewing. "If I get to spend the afternoon with you as your niece, does that mean I can see Uncle Remus…"

"No." Severus interrupted. "Whether you chose to accept it or not, there are other reasons for me detaining you during the school's free afternoon. The free afternoon periods are the optimal time for the upperclassmen to associate with the lower years. Do you understand what I am getting at?"

"Yeah, I don't really have a choice in whether or not I spend my free periods here after class on Fridays." Estella grumbled, stabbing at her potion agitatedly with her wand.

"No, Estella." Severus said wearily, vanishing the potion in her cauldron before she had chance to blow it up. "You have a choice. You can either come here voluntarily or as a result of a detention I give you in class." He said gravely. "And need I remind you that a detention would go on your school record."

"That's not fair!" Estella complained. "I won't have done anything wrong except disobey you as your niece, but you say you're only my teacher in class so how is it you can punish me like a teacher for something I did wrong as your niece?"

"Nothing in life is fair." Severus said firmly, a cloud of pain in his eyes. "The sooner you acknowledge that the better you will be for it. One day you will understand I am doing this for your own good."

Estella sighed. Whilst it was not fair her Uncle was threatening her with academic penalties, and it was even more unfair that she got to see her Uncle all term but not see her Godfather at all, she had to admit she was luckier than all the other students who didn't even get to see any of their family at all until the holidays. Plus, whether she chose to admit it or not, she was kind of glad to have the excuse not to have to spend her Friday afternoons in the company of Draco Malfoy – who would undoubtedly seize the lone opportunity to seek her out and exploit it for his own means. Besides, maybe if she was lucky, he Godfather would floo her Uncle's quarters while she was there again and she would be able to speak to him at least. In fact, Estella realised, as a form began to plot in her mind, she could pretty much make sure of it!

"Uncle Sev, can I borrow Onyx to send an Owl?" Estella asked sweetly. "The school owls scratch and snap at me!"

Severus nodded absently as he bent over a complex cauldron, trying to keep count of his stirs. Estella slipped off her stool and into her Uncle's office where she knew Onyx to have his perch.

Sometimes it paid to be the niece of a Slytherin.

End Chapter: Getting Settled

1. passage borrowed from page 102 of PS, give or take a few pages depending on your edition


	52. Birth and Death

Updated: Friday 25th March 2005

A/N: Anything recognisable (particularly in the scene with Harry, Estella and a certain ghost) is adapted directly from J.K. Rowling's respective chapter in COS. No copyright infringement intended, just a mere indulgent homage…

**Chapter Fifty Two: Birth and Death**

The months had gone quickly for Estella, and she had long since settled into a industrious study routine. Most afternoons would find the aspiring student in the library with an odd assortment of work partners from her various classes as she headed up a dedicated study club.

Numerous splintered and broken school brooms later, Estella was formerly excused from attending Flying lessons without having flown one inch in the air. An irritated Madame Hooch could neither penalise her academically or punish her for the broom's demise because no evidence of wand play had ever been found.

Flashback

_"I have called this meeting to discuss the ongoing vandalism of countless school brooms." Madame Hooch explained snootily, glaring equally at Estella, her head of house, and Uncle. "Once or twice and it could be a coincidence, but 5 weeks consecutively? Five brooms by the same person?"_

_"What are you implying, Madame? I have actual classes to prepare for." Severus snapped. "Please get to the point."_

_"The point, Professor, is that it is compulsory for each student to learn how to fly." Madame Hooch recounted. "Since I have detected no wandplay in the orchestrations of these delaying tactics I can only assume the child is using accidental magic."_

_"Uncle Sev, she confiscated my wand!" Estella whispered, appalled._

_Severus gave the woman a sharp look. "I would appreciate it if you did not deprive my niece of her only means of magical defence." Severus hissed. "As for your theory of accidental magic, I find it absurd. No person who is accused of 'accidentally' willing something to happen can be held accountable for their actions! Such is the nature of an accident!"_

_"Madame." Professor Flitwick squeaked from his raised chair to agree with the irate Potions Master beside him. "Severus has a point. If it is accidental magic, then I hardly think it's necessary to refer to the damage as vandalism. Let alone punish the child for it and take house points."_

_Estella nodded. "Maybe it's fate's way of saying I am not meant to fly?" Estella suggested. "I'm sure if we asked Professor Trelawney to do a reading she'd steadfastly agree."_

_Severus smirked. Both he and Estella believed the Divination Professor to be a fraud, but Madame Hooch took the mystical arts very seriously. As predicted, the woman furrowed her brow._

_"Well, I've certainly never come across such a case before." She said uncertainly. "But we have to put a stop to this nonsense! We only have so many School brooms at our disposal!"_

_"What do you suggest?" Severus asked in a dangerous, silky tone._

_"That the child stop whatever she is doing to the brooms!" Madame Hooch exclaimed._

_"But I'm not doing anything!" Estella whined. "I can't help it!"_

_Severus cast his niece a doubtful look, highly suspecting that the stubborn child was using some sort of potion or even perhaps 'wilful magic'._

_"I will be withdrawing Estella from Flying Class until further notice." Severus said shortly. "Whether it's an issue with the school brooms or a psychological fear channelling my niece's magic I don't know; but it's clear she does not wish to fly at this time."_

_"You can't do that! It is compulsory!" Madame Hooch cried. "However will the child travel?"_

_Estella waved her hand nonchalantly. "Oh, you know. Port key… apparation… floo… knight bus… Hogwarts Express… Planes, Trains and Automobiles…"_

_"Estella, that's enough." Severus admonished lightly. "Madame Hooch gets the point."_

_"I do." The instructor in question hissed, heading towards the door. "Very well, you are excused from lessons. I will leave it to your Uncle and Head of House to arrange alternate supervision for you during class."_

_Estella nodded. "Thank you Madame Hooch." Estella said in a sing-song voice to the retreating back of her former teacher_.

End Flashback

It was thus decided that Estella would spend Thursday afternoons sitting in on her Uncle's 3rd year Potions class doing independent study for DADA that he would set for her to do. Estella would then have tea with her Uncle in their quarters and he would tutor her until it was time for her Astronomy class. Every Friday afternoon she would spend lunch with her Uncle after her double potions class, and they would spend her free periods in the afternoon brewing advanced potions for the infirmary or working independently on their homework and marking respectively.

Over the weekend, Estella was involved in Charms Club and Chess Club; and she would spend a lot of her spare time curled up in a armchair in the Ravenclaw Common Room penning her correspondence to her Godfather or reading a supplementary text. Occasionally, she would accept Draco's invitation to play Exploding Snap with him in his Common Room and the pair of them would exchange casual banter for a few hours; and other times she'd bump into Hermione or Harry in the library or sneak on down to the Quidditch pitch to watch various teams practice.

As Halloween steadfastly approached, the weather was bleak and dreary. Fat droplets of rain endlessly hailed the castle like gunfire, and her Uncle had taken to recruiting his best students to assist him after hours in the brewing of extra stocks of Pepper Up Potion for the infirmary. It was on such a stormy, blustery Saturday – precisely one week before her birthday – that Estella found herself sitting in the Ravenclaw stands watching the Gryffindor Quidditch team practice. Having read up on her Weathering Charms, Estella had taken it upon herself to cast warming and waterproof bubbles around herself and the hapless players on the team who until she had arrived had been getting soaked through, exposed to the elements.

"Really, Harry!" Estella said, meeting Harry at the bottom of the pitch as practice had ended. "I would have thought someone on the team – particularly one of the older students – would have known to cast a simple Weather-all Charm!"

Harry wiped some mud off his face with a spot on his robe that had so far been kept clean by the overlapping dragons hide gloves he had formerly been wearing. "Yeah, tell me about it!" Harry said, sniffing. "If we had kept that up we'd all be sick in the infirmary before the first match!"

Making quite a racket as their wet shoes squelched along the empty corridor ("Why charm them dry when we can make Filch crazy with tracking mud and water in?" Estella had suggested evilly) Estella and Harry were quite taken aback to come across a mournful Gryffindor Ghost, Nearly Headless Nick.

"Hey, Nick" They chorused, rousing the Ghost from his thoughts.

"Hello, hello." Said Nearly Headless Nick, startled. "My how history repeats itself. Seems like only yesterday that another Potter and Black traipsed these halls in your stead."

Harry and Estella exchanged a nostalgic look, rolling their eyes.

"Sir Properly Decapitated-Podmore giving you cheek again?" Estella asked knowingly, taking in the Ghost's depressed state. "I'm sure the Headless Hunt isn't all that grand."

Sir Nick sighed and gazed at Estella, nodding as he folded his annual rejection letter and shoved it back in his doublet. "All for just half an inch of skin, Estella! Forty five times I was hit in the neck with that dratted blunt axe! You'd think that'd give me enough dignity and respect in these parts to get at least an honorary membership! I cannot play the Horseback Head Juggling or the Head Polo, but I could officiate! I was quite the public speaker in my day!"

"I wish there was something we could do…" Harry said.

"But there is something you could do for me," said Nick excitedly. "Harry, Estella – this Halloween will be my five hundredth deathday. I'm holding a party down in one of the roomier dungeons. Friend will be coming from all over the country. It would be such an honour if you both would attend."

Harry looked at Estella questioningly, who nodded. "We'd love to," she said. "Though I must say I will have to leave early."

"Yes of course, it will be your birthday! How fitting! A double celebration!" Nick said, beaming.

"Yep, if I was born one day later I'd have to wait until next year to start Hogwarts!" Estella said. "I'm glad I got accepted this year."

And that was how, a week later, Harry and Estella found themselves down in the dungeons about to attend a Deadthday Party with the express direction to seek out Sir Patrick and emphasise how very frightening and impressive they and all the Hogwarts students, found Sir Nick to be. Since Estella had been to a Deathday party once before, she knew to advise Harry to eat something before they left, to wear an extra warm cloak and to have a selective-noise filtering spell handy to drown out the god awful music.

"So they have actual food there, but they can't eat it, and it's all rotting and smelling?" Harry asked incredulously as they made their way down a hallway lined with eerie black candles. "And the orchestra is an acquired taste? Just why did we agree to come again?"

"Because Nick needed cheering up!" Estella said, as though stating the obvious. "Come on, it'd be an experience!"

An 'experience' was something of an understatement. The dungeon was full of hundreds of pearly-white, translucent people. Everyone was having a good time dancing to the 30-piece saw orchestra under a hue of midnight blue from the black candle chandelier overhead.

"I'm glad you warned me to wear extra warm clothes." Harry thanked Estella as he watched his breath form a frosty mist before him. "Do you suppose this is what our parents would be doing today if they were ghosts?"

Estella cast a wistful look at Harry and shrugged. "Dunno," She said forlornly. "Though I'd bet our mother's would be all motherly and ensure that there was food fit for all the guests!"

Harry nodded, and sighed, both parentless-children caught up in their respective emotions.

"Who are all these ghosts anyway? Do you know?" Harry said finally, composing himself.

Estella nodded and started pointing out as many as she could recognise from the stories she had grown up with in school. She was halfway through explaining how the Bloody Baron got his name when the Grey Lady, Ravenclaw's Ghost, motioned for them to move out of the way as a troop of headless Ghosts galloped in through the walls on horseback and gatecrashed the party with a game of Polo.

"Let's go." Estella said quietly. "It'll never settle down again now, and I had better go see my Uncle for Supper."

"Yeah," Harry agreed, nodding. "Hope you had a Happy Birthday."

"Yeah, I did, thanks." Estella said, making small talk as they walked briskly out of the black-lit corridor, warming their joints.

Once the pair had returned the main halls of the dungeons again, Harry and Estella parted ways, with Estella heading down towards her Uncle's quarters and Harry heading back towards the Great Hall.

* * *

Halloween was never easy for Severus. Whilst the occasion of his niece's birthday called for a certain degree of frivolity, the anniversary of his sister's death depressed him still. This year was the first year that Estella did not wake up to her birthday in the bedroom she had made her own in their dungeon quarters. Severus had made some effort to impress upon the child that she was welcome to stay the night (seeing as it was a weekend) but the stubborn child was resolute in marking the day how all the other students away from home did. In turn, Estella had attended breakfast in the Great Hall only to have been flooded with Owls bearing gifts from her Godfather and extended family. 

Severus himself had seen to it that he passed her on his way out of the Hall and passed on his regards. It was also arranged, at that time, that Estella would accompany Severus to their quarters after the feast that night to receive her present and spend some time with him. Estella had been initially hesitant to accept the invitation voluntarily, but when faced with the prospect of his direction being enforced by way of an assigned detention, the child relented. Estella, however, had not been at the feast that night. Neither was the Potter boy. Severus sat through the meal, his eyes burning a hole in the doors, willing her to appear. When she had yet to turn up by the end of the feast, he made his way down to his quarters anticipating to find her waiting there for him, only she wasn't.

Pouring himself a glass of fire whiskey, Estella's unopened gift sitting on the coffee table in front of him, Severus could do little else but wait. He'd heard offhandedly from the Headmaster that Sir Nick was hosting a Deathday party and that he'd heard from Hufflepuff's ghost the Fat Friar that Potter and Estella had been sighted in attendance; so at least he knew where she was. It was another thing, however, for him to go forcibly extract the child from the affair. Not only did Severus want to be faced with the prospect of being too overbearing at a time where the line between his duties as teacher and uncle were blurred enough as it is, but he didn't particularly care to be in the close proximity of so many ghosts. Especially on the 'deathday' of his sister. He knew also, that if he went crusading into the party to claim her, Estella would reopen the long-running argument about wanting to see her Godfather on weekends. And so, he waited.

* * *

"Sorry I'm late, Uncle Sev!" Estella called out as she stumbled into the living rooms of her childhood home an hour late. "I was at Sir Nick's Deathday Party." 

"I know perfectly well where you were… and who you were with." Severus said quietly. "I did not appreciate hearing it second hand."

"Well I hardly thought I had to seek your approval, Uncle Sev. I was after all within school grounds and abiding the rules!" Estella complained.

"Perhaps I should have insisted upon this meeting being in the guise of a detention." Severus tutted. "Maybe then you would have been inclined to arrive on time."

"Look I said I was sorry, alright?" Estella said exasperatedly. "We got lost getting to the party and then time just flew!"

"Whatever possessed you to accept an invitation to attend a deathday party of all things?" Severus asked, curious.

"Well, it's not just my birthday, you know." Estella said quietly. "Harry and I both lost parents on this date and well, I kind of wanted to show him how the dead celebrate their afterlife." She paused. "Don't you ever wonder if Mum and Lily and James were all ghosts what they'd all do to mark the day?"

Severus looked at his niece, bewildered. "Well I assume they would want to help you celebrate your birthday and not focus on such fetishes." He said softly. "I am disappointed however, that you did not think to warn me that your plans this evening may have interfered with our own; nor did you stop to think that I might actually have been concerned when I did not see you at the feast."

Estella lowered her head, appropriately chastened. "I didn't think, Uncle Sev!" She tried to explain. "I just go so caught up in wanting to catch up with Harry and show him the party…"

"Why are you so keen to spend time with that brat boy anyway?" Severus asked wearily. "I don't see him making any effort to make time for you."

"He's not a brat!" Estella defended, pouting. "And he makes time!"

"Oh really? Tell me this, who seeks who out?" Severus asked silkily. "Does he come looking for you in the library or must you go outside in awful weather to catch him after Quidditch practice?" Estella gave her Uncle a shocked look, Severus nodded curtly and continued. "Don't think I haven't been observing your antics from afar, Estella. I assure you that from my distinctly advantaged perspective I can see with some clarity that it is Potter's superior arrogance that is thwarting all attempts at reconciliation. Do you think he would honestly wish to willingly spend time with a younger student such as yourself if he'd had a choice? I truly wish you'd save yourself the effort, Estella. Consorting with a Potter only ends in turmoil."

Estella glared coolly at her Uncle. "He's not his father, Uncle Sev." She said in low tones. "And I don't like it when you talk about him that way! He's the only student in this school who… who… who just knows things without me having to say."

Severus sighed. "Fine." He conceded, rubbing the bridge of his nose irritably. "I do not wish to argue about such matters now. Potter has already cost us enough time this evening as it is."

"Fine." Estella said, taking a deep breath and trying to clear her mind of the volatile emotions that threatened to overwhelm her. "Right, cause it's my birthday and all."

From Severus, Estella had received a first edition tome of 'Most Potente Potions'

"So that you won't be at a disadvantage being without ready access to my copy here." Severus explained.

Estella nodded, turning the book over in her hand. "What, no inscription?" She asked, sarcastically, knowing her Uncle's reaction.

"It's a first edition!" Severus exclaimed reverently. "Even in better condition than my own! I trust implicitly that you will treat it accordingly."

"Uh, right." Estella said, playing him. "I'll save my footnotes for the 'Remedial Potions' the school insists be set as the first year text then." Taking in her Uncle's sharp look, she smiled. "I'm joking Uncle Sev! Thank you very much for the book, I will no doubt find it an extremely invaluable resource!"

Severus nodded, before scowling. "That boy is entirely a bad influence on you…"

"Uncle Sev!" Estella warned. She was about to continue, when Professor Dumbledore's head suddenly popped into the fire.

"Severus! The Chamber has been opened!" An urgent headmaster got uncharacteristically straight to the point. "Oh, good evening, Estella. Many happy returns on the occasion of your birthday. I trust you had a nice day?"

"Yes, Sir." Estella said, nodding, though somewhat confused by the old man's sudden shift in demeanour. What were they hiding?

Severus, meanwhile, had grabbed his cloak and cast complicated wards around the perimeter of his quarters. "No one can leave or enter these rooms." He said expressly, reaching for the pouch of Floo Powder by the mantle. "You may work on a potion in the lab quietly or fire-call your Godfather until I return."

Stunned, Estella could only nod weakly. Not only did her Uncle never let her in his lab unsupervised, but he didn't even allow her to brew alone in her own room! Then he volunteers use of his Floo to fire-call her Godfather during the term! Something was definitely up.

"I will inform Professor Flitwick of your location." Her Uncle said offhandedly as he stepped into the fire. "Headmaster's Office"

Estella stared at the spot her Uncle had just stood. Naturally, she was going to fire-call her Godfather, but first she wanted some answers.

"Lena!" She called out to the house elf that was specifically bound to serve the Dungeon quarters.

With a familiar sounding 'pop' the scrawny elf appeared. "Good evenings Mistress Black! Lena is not seeing you in the Dungeons at all since Spring! What can Lena do to serve Mistress Black this evening?"

"It's nice seeing you, too, Lena." Estella said jovially. "You've been at Hogwarts for a long time, have you not?"

Lena nodded enthusiastically. "Lena is serving Hogwarts since before you is born! Lena remembers Mistresses' Uncle on his first day of classes!"

"I know, Lena, you've told me." Estella said, getting impatient. "But this is important. Do you know anything about a 'Chamber'? Or perhaps some sort of room that has not been open in a very long time?"

"Lena is knowing of many rooms in the Castle that have not been opened in years and years!" The house elf frowned, trying to help.

"What about Chambers that Professor Dumbledore is scared of?" Estella suggested. "One that is secret maybe?"

The house elf shrieked. "The Chamber of Secrets!" She said, her voice barely above a whisper. "Mistress Black mustn't wish to go there!"

"I just want to know what it is." Estella elaborated.

The reaction that followed was something Estella could not have even expected.

"Lena must not be telling Hogwarts Students about the Chamber." Lena said, banging her head on the coffee table. "Lena has already said too much."

Bang! Bang! Bang!

"Lena! Lena, stop it!" Estella shouted, panicking. "Please, Lena, it's my birthday, please stop!"

The revelation of Estella's birthday only caused the distraught house elf to wail louder. "Lena is forgetting Mistress Black's birthday!" She cried, lifting the coffee table magically before slamming it down on her toes repeatedly. "Lena is bad house elf. (thud) Lena deserves clothes. (thud) Lena is not making Mistress Black's birthday cake!" (thud, thud)

"Lena is about five seconds away from a stunning curse!" Estella finished, raising her wand to freeze the coffee table mid-air. "Stop punishing yourself! There is no cake this year because my Uncle did not request one! I'll stop asking you about the Chamber if you just stop hurting yourself!"

The change in the house elf was instantaneous. "Mistress Black is very gracious. Lena should be punished longer." Lena said, bowing so low that the neck of her loose fitting pillowcase touched the floor. "Lena is wishing Mistress a very happy birthday now."

"Thankyou, Lena." Estella said, exasperatedly. "If you want to be really helpful, could you please fetch me some left overs from the feast? I haven't eaten anything since before Sir Nick's deathday party!"

Lena nodded enthusiastically. "Lena is knowing Mistress well. Lena will bring all of Mistress' favourite foods." Estella thanked the elf wearily before said elf disappeared with a pop.

Estella had no sooner reached for the floo powder when the vivacious house elf had returned bearing enough food for three starving Hagrids. After thanking the beaming house elf and sending her on her way, Estella finally had a chance to use the Floo.

"Number 7 St Thames Mews!" She called out, tossing a pinch of powder into the fire and sticking her head in. When the familiar layout of her Godfather's living room came into view, she was greeted with the sight of her Godfather sprawled out unconscious on the lounge. Her mind awash with marauding intentions, she stuck her wand hand into the fire and conjured a jet of water to prank her Godfather awake with. No sooner had the water left her wand did Estella stick her head back out of the Floo, intending to call him back a few minutes later when he was still trying to come to grips with what had awoken him. However, things did not go quite as plan when a wand suddenly appeared in the fireplace before her, drenching her with a burst of water to the face at close range. Spluttering and still drenching wet, Estella tossed some more Floo Powder into the grate and directed her head back to the London Flat.

"Uncle Remus! That was pretty ballsy of you!" Estella said, surprised. "What if it was Tonks or someone else who did it?"

"Oh well, if you really must know, your Uncle and I are secretly best friends and we prank each other like that all the time." Remus said with so much sincerity, Estella's eyebrows shot above her hairline. At her shocked look he confessed. "You really think I'd not smell you?"

"Yeah well, best friends or not, just be thankful you didn't get my first edition of 'Moste Potente Potions' wet. Uncle Sev would have gone spare!"

"Ah yes, the Happy Birthday Girl herself." Remus chuckled. "Happy Birthday, cub."

"Aw shucks, Moony." Estella said, imitating a cowboy from a old western movie. "Your gift has me tickled pink!"

That year for her birthday, Remus had bestowed upon her a dragon hide holster for her new wand, a book on defensive hexes and curses (because the core reading list for DADA that year was a joke) and a book on Chess strategy.

"So, Missy," Remus said after the obligatory exchange of formal greetings was over. "How is it that you are flooing me from your Uncle's quarters at such a late hour?"

Estella responded by telling him what had happened, sharing her curiosities and concerns along the way.

"…and he never lets me brew potions unattended! Let alone in his lab! And he said I could fire-call you even!" She finished. "Uncle Remus? You OK? You look like you swallowed a bogey flavoured Bertie Bot Bean!"

Face as ashen as a fresh dumping of snow, Remus took a shaky breath. "Professor Dumbledore specifically said that the Chamber was open?" He asked, seeking clarification for his disbelieving ears. "And then your Uncle reacted by giving you free reign and locking you in his quarters?"

Estella nodded twice affirmatively.

"Dear Merlin!" Remus exclaimed, before adding in a foreign, serious tone. "Promise me you'll not leave the quarters until after I have spoken with your Uncle."

Estella nodded mutely. Something big was going down. "I'd come through and stay with you, but the wards won't allow it, damn it!" Remus cursed.

"Uncle Remus, calm down!" Estella said, not used to seeing her Godfather in such a state. "I'm tired, Uncle Remus, do you think I can go to bed?"

Remus growled helplessly. "Go get ready for bed, you can sleep on the couch there." He said, as lightly as he could.

"But Uncle Remus, I have a perfectly decent bed in my bedroom here…" Estella argued.

"Yes, but I cannot watch you from there, can I?" Remus said softly. "Now go get your pyjamas on and brush your teeth I'll fetch a book from your room here to read to you, how's that sound?"

"Like you're treating me like I'm five!" Estella groaned. "Is this Chamber that much of a big deal you can't let me out of your sight?"

"No, no, of course not!" Remus said quickly, too quickly. "I simply thought you may like the company."

Estella nodded, deciding to play along. Getting worked up about something people were clearly not ready to give her answers about was hardly what she wanted to do right now, she was so tired. No sooner had Estella gotten ready for bed, crawled under the throw on the makeshift bed and Remus gotten through the first chapter of "Legolas of Lothlorien"'s wizarding child version of its biographical series was Estella fast asleep.

* * *

"What in blue blazes are you doing in my fireplace, Lupin!" An enraged Severus Snape hissed as he stormed in through the entrance into his quarters after having just spent the better part of 30 minutes negotiating the wards he had set up to be deconstructed from the inside only. "The Floo was my only way in and out!" 

The smoky green visage of Remus Lupin put down the book he was reading silently and nodded towards the lounge. "Shhh, she's asleep."

"I can very well see that!" Severus spat, his voice barely above a whisper. "Why isn't she in her room? Why are you still in my fireplace?"

"I am keeping a vigil, Severus!" Remus cried. "You didn't think I was going to let her out of my sight after she told me the Chamber of Secrets was open!"

Severus paled. The headmaster hadn't indicated which Chamber had been opened. How did she find out? He asked Lupin as much.

"I have no idea how she found out, Severus. Maybe she read about it in a book and put two and two together!" Remus suggested. "You know how impossible it is to keep things from her these days! She's too damn smart for her own good. Now tell me what happened!"

After putting Estella to rest in her own bed – warding the room extensively – he lowered the ward on the Floo and permitted the werewolf to come through. Conjuring them both tumblers of his favourite amber fluid, he told the man about the writing on the wall and the attack on Filch's cat, Mrs Norris.

"Argus swears the Potter boy is involved?" Remus asked, incredulous. "Why that's preposterous!"

"Even I know that, Lupin!" Severus agreed, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "The boy is arrogant, like his father, but he's no heir."

"Does the school have any…"

"No, Lupin! If we did, it wouldn't be such a problem!" Severus snapped. "I suppose you know the legend of what lies within the Chamber?"

Realisation clouded Remus' features. "A Basilisk! When is Dumbledore evacuating the School? Estella has a room in London and I can make up the guest room for you if you want. There's a room downstairs you can use for a lab…"

"Oh shut up Lupin!" Severus hissed. "Firstly, Dumbledore does not see reason to create a panic about a myth; and secondly, I have several vast estates at my disposal what makes you think I would step foot in that house?"

Remus frowned, but let the question hang. "Severus." He said quietly. "What about Estella?"

"She's a student like all the others, Lupin." Severus said tiredly. "I will not condone special treatment just because of some myth."

"If anything happens to her…" Remus growled, looking desperately at the said child's door. "I need not remind you of what will happen."

"Get out of my chambers Lupin." Snape said finally, rubbing his temples. "Entertaining the likes of you is hardly my ideal way to spend my weekend."

So, after checking on Estella and circling comically around Severus trading animalistic snarls and glares, Remus reluctantly entrusted the very essence of his life (his Goddaughter) into her Uncle's somewhat misguided hands and flooed back to the house he encouraged Estella to call her Summer home – a house that now seemed all the more empty and barren in her absence.

End Chapter: Birth and Death


	53. Bludgers, Duels & Potions

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated: Sunday 27th March 2005

**Chapter Fifty Three: Bludgers, Duels and Potions. **

Estella, had, of course, heard all about the writing on the wall the next day when she went to join her classmates for breakfast in the Great Hall. Whilst she had yet to think of any books that she could research to discover more about this mystical Chamber and the fear it seemed to be instilling in all the adults who knew about it, she wasn't at all dismayed to hear about what had happened to Mr Filch's cat. The cat apparently had witnessed something that caused it to lapse into a permanent state of petrification. As amused as Estella was, however, there was something about the situation that befuddled her. Only a magical creature could solicit a victim into such a state of paralysis – had it been a student playing a prank, the teachers would be able to cast the 'finite incantatem' and be done with it – and this particular case required a powerful restorative potion steeped in mature mandrake roots to remedy it. All the pieces of the puzzle were staring her right in the face, she just knew it, and yet the answers were still shrouded, lingering out of her reach.

"We don't need no education…" She sang softly to herself as she poured over some reference books in the library, the walkman her Godfather had magically charmed to contain his entire Muggle Music collection (in payment of his bet) and work for her at the school was blaring softly in her ears.

"… no dark sarcasm in the classroom…" she smirked at this line, wondering distractedly if Pink Floyd had ever met her Uncle.

"All in all it's just some writing on the wall…" She muttered, amending the lyrics to suit the bane of her thoughts.

"How can ye have any puddin' if ye don't eat yer meat?" She mimicked at the open book before her as the age-old Muggle song played itself out.

"Good heavens, Estella! Put those books away and get some sunlight before you go completely insane!" Draco Malfoy's leering voice chided her from behind as the silence between tracks alerted her to his presence.

"H-how long have you been here?" She stammered, shutting the walkman off.

"Long enough to know you're round the twist!" Draco rolled his eyes. "What were you singing?"

Thinking fast, Estella fished out the walkman. "Stole this off some half-blood Gryffindor." She sneered. 'Well it's almost true' She rationalised. Her Godfather was a Gryffindor, and the bet had been so assured it was a steal.

"It's a Muggle music box. For what it's worth some of their music ain't all bad. Disgustingly primitive maybe, and definitely quaint, but a change nonetheless than the limited scope of music we have to choose from in our contemporary society. The only reason I'm listening to it is because it's easier than putting up with noisy dunderhead Slytherins when I'm trying to study."

Draco eyed her curiously, smirking at the inference. "Oh very funny, Estella. Priceless." He drawled, looking at the muggle contraption with thinly veiled curiosity. "Give me a listen then. It er, may provide an insider insight into how our inferiors operate."

Estella rolled her eyes, but nodded concurringly. "Exactly what I was thinking, Dray."

Reluctantly offered her distant cousin a earplug. "I'm not sure how you can select songs, so we'll just see what comes on, hey?"

Draco nodded, shifting uncomfortably close to Estella as the headphone lead was not all that long and he didn't want anyone to see he was playing with a Muggle device. As Estella leant in accommodatingly, she could only hope that one of her friends didn't see her like this. She didn't really want them all knowing about the walkman, and yet it would be the only plausible way to explain why her and the Prince of Slytherin were sitting so… so… close.

The song she incidentally decided to play (didn't know how to work it, her arse!) was Jimi Hendrix's Voodoo Chile.

"Muggles are even more mentally challenged than I thought!" Draco scoffed as the song ended. "The guy sounds like he's delirious on Absinthe!"

"You don't know the half of it!" Estelle rolled her eyes, tempted to tell Draco how the singer had choked to death on his own vomit after overdosing on a cocktail of Muggle drugs and alcohol.

"Yes well. Don't listen to it Estella, it will rot your brain!" Draco pleaded in a almost brotherly tone. "If you want a peaceful place to study I'm sure I could arrange something more, appropriate."

"Thank you Draco." Estella said with mock appreciation as she spirited the walkman away. "What are you doing in here anyway?"

Idle chitchat and familial exchanges later, and Estella was gratefully excused of Draco's presence as he excused himself to play in the first Quidditch match of the season. Estella had politely declined his invitation to watch the match from the player's box by feigning susceptibility to the harsh weather outside and being restricted to indoor activities by her Uncle. It was while in the library then, butting her head up against the proverbial 'brick in the wall', that news of Harry's injury during the game reached her.

Waiting until she knew the coast was clear, she snuck into the infirmary to visit a sleeping Harry.

"Pst, Harry!" Estella whispered. "I heard what happened, I just wanted to see if you were alright."

Harry sat up and took his glasses from Estella's outstretched hand. "Thanks. But do you think you could possible convince your Uncle to invent a nicer-tasting skele-grow?"

"Ugh, you had to drink that?" Estella groaned in sympathy. Had he known of the potion's ingredients he'd be worried about more than just the taste. "Tough luck, that."

Talk soon moved to the petrified form of Colin Creevy, whom lay motionless on a bed further down the room.

"I've been researching like mad to try and put my finger on it!" Estella confessed. "The creature that's doing all this." She elaborated. "It's eating at me because I know I should know what it is! All I can tell is that petrification is the least of its skills. The teacher's wouldn't be so antsy if that's all it could do."

She then went on to tell Harry about the night of her birthday in her Uncle's quarters and how out of character he was being in his exhibited concern for her safety. Harry, in turn, confided in Estella about the Gryffindor trio's plan to brew Polyjuice to sneak into the Slytherin dorms.

"I know he's your cousin…" Harry tried to explain. "But it makes sense the heir has to be in Slytherin."

"Harry you're being ridiculous!" Estella raged. "That's the kind of narrow minded thinking that created you-know-who in the first place! Look at me for example! Both sides of my family are so thoroughly seeped in Slytherin House, yet I'm a Ravenclaw! Just because the Heir of Slytherin is Slytherin's descendent it doesn't guarantee that whoever it is, is a student of that house!"

"They'd have to be, Estella!" Harry hissed. "Who else would be evil enough to want to unleash the monster of the Chamber on the Muggle born students?"

"Mrs Norris wasn't a student!" Estella tried to reason with him. "And not all servants of Voldemort were Slytherins either." She added, indirectly referring to her father's crimes against Muggles. "Nor are all Slytherins evil!"

"Ok, ok!" Harry raised his hands in defeat. "But I can't just do nothing, Estella!"

"Oh, of course, I forgot! You're Harry Potter! You're responsible for saving the day!" Estella mocked. "Honestly, Harry, why put it upon yourself? Maybe my Uncle was right. You just want to be the hero."

"Think whatever you want to think, Estella. I don't care anymore." Harry said brokenly. "I'm sick of trying to measure up to everyone's expectations."

"Then don't!" Estella cried, shaking him by his good shoulder none too gently. "Stop trying so hard! Walk away Harry, let the teacher's handle it! They have access to ancestral records and resources you can only dream of. Don't waste your time setting off on hair-brained ideas that hold absolutely no merit!" She pleaded. "Don't you think if Malfoy even knew he was a Slytherin heir – and you'd surely have to know you were if you knew you had the power to open the Chamber – that Draco would have been gloating about it to me for years?"

"I-I didn't think of that!" Harry shrugged, scratching his head.

"That's alright, you're a Gryffindor. It's in your blood not to think!" Estella snorted. "Just like you didn't think to ask me for help when you decided to brew Polyjuice. Does Hermione even have a clue what could go wrong if the fluxweed is harvested prematurely or if she so much as stews the lacewings for so little as a minute too long? I've watched the Potion being brewed literally hundreds of times! I could have helped! I even have the bloody book the recipe comes from in my trunk!"

"Well we would have asked, but Ron…" Harry began.

"Yeah I know, Ron still doesn't trust me. He probably thinks I'm the heir too, I bet." Estella sighed, laughing mirthlessly. "Merlin Harry, you don't even give me the chance to get Ron to trust me. I can only think that maybe you believe his rot."

Harry looked at her awkwardly. "You can still help if you want… I'm sure Hermione will appreciate it." He said.

"Bollocks. I never said I wanted to help! It's a bad idea, Harry." Estella said sternly. "You're wasting your efforts in something that won't give you any answers. I don't have time for such frivolities. Not when I am so close to putting the pieces together myself. So by all means, go, brew your potion, have your fun. I'm sure it will be a fun story to tell your children."

On that note, Estella turned on her heel and left the infirmary without warning, leaving a flabbergasted Harry slack jawed and staring in her wake.

* * *

A week or so before Christmas, Professor Lockhart had taken it upon himself to start a duelling club. Estella had wanted to attend, but her Uncle had warned her against displaying the breadth of her duelling knowledge to her classmates and encouraged her not to go. 

"You won't learn anything, Estella." He had assured her.

Ever since the Christmas after her seventh birthday when she had received her parents wands, Severus and Remus had worked at tutoring Estella extensively in the arts of magical defence. By her tenth birthday she was competent enough to hold her own almost sufficiently against either of the two men in her life; her subsequent agility and instilled prowess would thereby be difficult to conceal in a duel club environment as her actions now came to her like a second nature.

It was therefore with much consternation that Estella forwent the opportunity to watch her Uncle 'assist' the pathetic excuse of a Defence teacher in the rudimentary elements of duelling and busied herself in the library, researching the Chamber of Secret's creature instead. Later that night, when she had heard from her classmates how Harry had spoken Parseltongue, Estella was astonished. While part of her supposed Harry could be the heir, and that his apparent drive to point the finger at a Slytherin was all an act of smoke and daggers, some baser instinct told her it was not true. When she then noticed people in the school turn against Harry and fear him, she sent him a note of support, suggesting to him that he should wear the t-shirt that she had bought him for his birthday and approach it all with his tongue in cheek. Harry didn't reply, but the weekend before Christmas he could sure enough be found parading himself around the school wearing the black t-shirt with 'Public Enemy' branded on it in stencilled white letters that Estella had bought him at Reading.

Not many people got the joke. Estella on the other hand took a photo to savour the moment. It was such a contradiction to see people shirk and shrink away from the boy-who-lived instead of fawning over him and gushing like they so often did. The adverse reactions were so visibly overpowering in the physicality of the people in the photo, Estella was determined to make a copy for her Uncle for Christmas. The image spoke volumes of just how the man chose to see Harry.

End Chapter: Bludgers, Duels and Potions


	54. Christmas

**Chapter Fifty Four: Christmas**

To Estella's absolute horror, Severus had decided against giving her permission to spend Christmas in London with Remus.

"But I haven't seen him since Summer!" She complained bitterly. "It's not fair! You said that was the arrangement!"

"Estella!" Severus snapped, as he looked up from his cauldron as they worked in the lab on the last Friday afternoon of term. "I have told you on countless occasions that life isn't fair. Circumstances changed and I am no longer able to honour our previous arrangement. I've spoken to your Godfather at length about this and he concurs that there is no choice in the matter."

"You didn't speak with Remus!" Estella spat scathingly. "You spoke at him just like you always do. You never take his suggestions to mind; and why do I get the impression you're not keeping me here to try and make up for what happened last year?"

Severus looked up sharply from his work and stared at Estella with an unreadable expression on his face. "I thought we agreed to put that behind us."

"I thought you agreed to let me spend the holidays with my Godfather." Estella retorted. "Nothing in life is fair, Uncle Sev. I'll bring it back up however often I damn well please!"

"Estella, you will watch your tongue." Severus scowled. "Consider that my warning."

"Well I will be staying in the dorms then." Estella said resolutely. "Consider that my warning."

As angry as he was, Severus had to bite back a smirk at Estella's flawless imitation. "As a matter of fact, Estella, I do not intend to detain us here over the yuletide holiday." Severus said carefully, making sure to take his cauldron off the boil. "I have accepted a invitation to spend Christmas with the Malfoys."

"You did WHAT?" Estella shrieked. "Just when I thought you couldn't possibly top last year's performance I have to give up time with Remus for a week of useless brown nosing! How could you! It's Christmas!"

Severus lowered his head, his mask of indifference slipping. He may be a bastard, but it still hurt him to think he was in some way spoiling the holidays for his niece. "I had no choice!" He said in a voice barely above a whisper. "I've been turning them down for years. But Narcisssa insisted that since you and Draco are such 'good friends' it would be something you'd both enjoy."

Estella shot a dark look at her Uncle. "Are you implying that this is in some measure my fault?" She asked slowly, trying to contain her rage. "Of all the…"

"Estella I would advise you not to finish that sentence!" Severus warned. "I did no such thing. Now, since we have established quite firmly that you have a history for being a sickly child, I will not be adverse to investing in a potion that will give the impression that you are too ill to continue our stay there after a few days, thus enabling you to see in the New Year with your Godfather if that is what you so wish." Estella's eyes grew hopeful. "But you must give me a few days."

"How many?" She asked.

"Until the day after Christmas, at least." Severus said. "Just give the sign that you are ready to depart and I can slip you a potion before you go to bed. You will wake up feeling dreadfully unpleasant, but you needn't worry for I will have the antidote on my person at all times ready to administer it to you should things get out of hand." Estella nodded, not liking the idea that she will have to endure a potion-induced illness, but grateful for the way out nonetheless. "Now I trust you have been practicing your Occlumency?"

Estella nodded. Like her Uncle and many of the Snape line before her, Estella had a natural predisposition to being a accomplished Occlumens. Shortly after her tenth birthday her Uncle had taken to formally instructing her, working towards refining the naturally inbred defences. Whilst she could not fully protect her mind against intrusion, she was more than adept at clearing her mind and controlling which memories her attacking legilimens could see. Of course she still found it difficult when her Uncle delved into her mind in search of a specific memory he knew was there, but not many people knew her as well as her Uncle did in order to know what to look for, so she was safe for the time being.

* * *

Christmas lunch at the Malfoy's was a grand affair. When Severus had noted Draco's name on the list of Slytherins remaining at the school over the holidays, he had assumed there had been some mistake, but yet, there it was, the truth staring him right in the face all along telling him something was amiss; and yet he'd missed all the signs. 

"I do so apologise profusely for our son's absence." Narcissa lamented sincerely, not for the first time that day. "His father and he had a rather heated discussion prior to the break and now I'm afraid young Draco has chosen this avenue to rebel."

"I assure you, Severus, he will be punished accordingly." Lucius asserted in clipped tones. "The boy just has to learn to take news – no matter how favourable or distasteful it is to his tastes – in his stride."

Estella squirmed in her seat and continued to pick at her food forlornly. At least Christmas with someone around her age would have been better than this!

"Estella dear, I am sure my Draconis is feeling remorseful for standing you up such as it is." Narcissa cooed. "He does care a great deal about you, don't let this doubt you on that."

Estella cast her 'Aunt' a wary look and smiled serenely. "Oh yes, Aunt Narcissa, I am sure Draco is already formulating a way in which he can make it up to me when I get back to school." She gushed hollowly. "He is always surprising me."

That, in itself, was not an outright lie. Estella had been extremely surprised when she had discovered her errant cousin with her walkman, having a merry old time bopping along to some Beatles classics. His comment about how 'With a name like that they must surely be wizards in disguise' and how the band's name was assuredly inspired from their animagus forms was enough to make the wistful smile on her face a real one.

At her smile, Lucius cast her a smug look. Shivers creeping down her spine at the eye contact, Estella could not help but think that the Malfoy patriarch was up to something. One look at her Uncle confirmed that he was thinking the same thing.

"I do hope you deemed our gift worthy." Lucius said to Estella with false concern, all the while not tearing his eyes away from Severus. "We do get to see so little of you child; it makes it difficult to anticipate your tastes."

Estella exchanged a look with her Uncle, her mind suspecting that the powerful blonde wizard was voicing his suspicions. Severus returned the look with a 'I-know-Lucius-better-than-thou-he-is-just-making-excuses-for-his-lack-of-taste-in-gifts' one of his own. There wasn't a lot, after all, that her family didn't own already; and this was probably Lucius' way of saving face of his own inadequacies as a 'provider'.

"Why thank you, Lucius. The talisman will prove extremely useful for my extra-curricular classes." Estella beamed, her face betraying none of the talisman's – a magnet for dark magic - true fate (which was to be locked in a impenetrable vault with all of the other questionable gifts the Malfoys had bestowed upon her throughout her life… some she'd seen, others she'd never set eyes on).

"Perhaps you could visit over the Summer so Draco and yourself can learn from it together." Lucius suggested silkily.

"Oh I'd love that!" Estella said with mock enthusiasm, ignoring the 'let-me-handle-this' glare her Uncle was giving her. "Still, it depends on how I fare in my classes. My grasp on several of my subjects is of a positively mediocre standard, for a Ravenclaw, and I may need to invest my time in extra tuition over the break."

"You could come here and exploit the services of the tutor we deploy for young Draco." Narcissa cooed. "Being a year above you I am sure Draco could also assist you bring up your grades."

Severus cast a 'told-you-so' look at Estella and swiftly cut in. "Nonsense, my niece hardly requires remedial tutoring!" Severus scoffed. "She maintains an 'Exceeds Expectation' average."

"Yes, but…" Estella whined, "it's not an 'Outstanding' average, is it Uncle? There's still people above me in the class rankings! A person of my lineage shouldn't have to settle for second best!"

To Estella's surprise, the light haired hosts laughed. 'So much like our Draco' they praised.

"Severus, if I may have a private word with you my office?" Lucius asked congenially, rising from his chair once the frivolities were over.

Seeing the look of hesitation on Severus' face when he locked eyes with his niece, Narcissa wrapped her arm around Estella's shoulders. "Don't worry about your niece, Severus." She assured him. "As fellow women I'm sure we could find something to occupy ourselves with, isn't that right, precious?"

Estella nodded slowly, a foreign sensation of warmth flooding through her. She had always wondered what it was like to have a mother, to do mother-daughter things, but never in her wildest imagination did she think her body would betray her by filling that void with the likes of Narcissa Malfoy! Then again, it was not as though Estella had many women in her life to choose from.

"Very well then." Severus said finally, after carefully scrutinising his niece for any signs of duress.

While Narcissa kept Estella occupied by giving the awed child a tour of one of her many dressing rooms ("A witch can never have enough robes.") and showing her a few make up charms and hair spells she could try once back at school, Severus and Lucius talked in his office.

"I suppose you are wondering why I brought you in here tonight." Lucius said, taking his seat behind his desk and gesturing for Severus to occupy the seat in front of him. "I'll get straight to the point, shall I?"

Severus nodded curiously, a tight knot of dread beginning to form in his stomach on account of Lucius' extreme ease.

"Narcissa is not the biological child of Altair Black." Lucius said quickly. At Severus' questioning look, he explained. "Her mother had an affair with a German purist who escaped here after the war. Did you not ever wonder why Narcissa is the only blonde out of the three sisters?"

"So you are implying that Narcissa is not Black's cousin." Severus said, his suspicions growing. "If Altair Black did not sire her, how do you know…"

"…if her blood is pure?" Lucius completed. "Altair Black divulged the family secret when Narcissa and I were betrothed. Who her father was is of little incident, except to say that her blood maintained its integrity throughout the extensive testing."

Severus inwardly cringed. He knew of many dark ways pure blooded families assessed the purity of 'new' blood. None of them were very pleasant.

"You're a sadist, Lucius." Severus drawled nonchalantly at Lucius' malevolent grin. "You would have done it anyway."

Lucius chuckled evilly. "You know me all too well, Severus."

"What do you hope to gain by telling me this?" Severus asked. Such secrets were so readily disclosed without due reason.

Lucius eyed him carefully and raised his chin high. "Severus, my friend, I have a proposal for you." He said. "I would like to see our two families combined."

"You want to bond Draco and Estella?" Severus asked, flabbergasted, all blood leaving his face.

"Think of the power, Severus!" Lucius said passionately. "With their bloodlines and combined wealth you'd be looking at the most influential family in Europe!"

"You've been planning this all along, haven't you?" Severus bit back, accusingly. "Why only tell me now?"

"Well like any self-respecting father would want to do, I wanted to ensure that my son actually liked the girl at least!" Lucius replied.

Severus looked at the man suspiciously.

"Alright you caught me." Lucius sighed, raising his hands in mock surrender. "I was waiting on news of the child's sorting. Couldn't very well have a Gryffindor in the family… or a, what is it you like to call them? A dunderhead."

Severus kept his ongoing suspicions in check and pushed the matter to the back of his mind. "Just what makes you think I am in the position to consent?"

"Ah yes, the tidy little dilemma of Black being alive." Lucius said matter-of-factly as he conjured a pair of goblets filled with the finest wine. "I can more than take care of that little problem."

The knot twisting uncomfortably tighter in the pit of his stomach, Severus winced. Condemning the man to Azkaban was one thing, having him murdered so that his niece could be condemned to a life of refined confinement was another.

"That won't be necessary." Severus shook his head. "I've been toying with the idea of adopting her for some time." He lied smoothly. "Calling the name he left her in class has become quite tedious."

Lucius looked at his guest critically. "You do realise if you adopt her while her father is still alive you will renounce her claim to the Black legacy?" Lucius warned. "Don't forget who will be next in line to her birthright if she forfeits."

"Potter." Severus spat, his hatred not at all coerced. "Black's Godson."

"To think your sister would have been forced to the whims of Black and Potter had they lived." Lucius said, shaking his head in disgust. "They would surely have bonded their children had they had the chance. Imagine, the noble house of Black besmirched by a filthy halfblood! Centuries of purity, ruined! The Potter line may have been aligned with the light, but at least they used to be a respectable pureblood family until that ignorant prat defiled himself with that whore Evans and spawned the bane of our great Lord's existence. Just think about it Severus. If you don't want to put an end to Black's torturous existence just yet, I am sure my sources within the Ministry can find a way for you to be accredited loco parentis. It's not as though Black is in the position to make decisions, is it?"

Severus nodded numbly. "So, I assume the discussion with Draco was about this?" He said, in an effort to change the subject.

"I haven't told him my intention to see him bonded, no." Lucius said. "The news about his mother's illegitimacy was enough to send him into a spiral. I raised the boy too well, I'm afraid."

"Shall I keep an eye on him when I return?" Severus offered.

"Narcissa and I will feel more at ease if you did." Lucius said by way of thanks. "His reaction was much as you would expect. If you could also exercise discretion…"

"You needn't ask me to do that, Lucius." Severus interrupted. "I'll observe my niece's behaviour around Draco over the next few years. I'd like to think I've done a decent enough job with her that the natural order of things will find their own way without our intervention. I regret to say my niece has inherited her Father's bullheadedness and would be quite inclined to rebel if pushed."

Reading his pointed look, Lucius smirked. "Very well, Severus. How very Slytherin of you." He said. "Such fierce independence and determination is an admirable trait when cultivated in the right environment. You were right to leave Black in Azkaban."

Severus' head shot up. "What are you talking about?" He asked, trying to hide his shock.

"Oh come now, Severus! We both know he didn't do anything." Lucius exclaimed. "If James Potter was a woman Black would have found the love of his life! And he was far too Gryffindor to kill innocent Muggles, no matter how hot tempered 'Cissa tells me he was as a youth."

"After what he did to me in school I thought it was wholly appropriate to condemn him to an eternity in that hell." Severus confessed, knowing the key to espionage was to blur the line between truth and lie as much as possible without disclosing the crucial information. "In light of my sister's passing I also thought it prudent to ensure that her child was raised accordingly."

"Indeed. You made the right choice, as I said." Lucius agreed smoothly, raising his glass. "The disheartening effect that it had on the enemy's morale was but an all too sweet addendum. Wouldn't you agree?"

Severus joined his host in a toast, his insides relaxing under the warm lull of the wine. The fact that as accused Death Eaters at the time, neither of them would have held much clout in the Ministry did not escape either of them. It was merely a nature of their arrogant self-centredness – well on Lucius' part anyway as Severus was feigning that role – that they believed themselves indestructible and capable of anything. They were after all, purebloods.

* * *

"I don't mean to be rude, Aunt Narcissa, but why are you showing me all this?" Estella asked tiredly as her chaperone proceeded to show her yet another of the manor's extensive nurseries. She was hardly at an age where she wanted to play with baby toys. 

"Why I simply thought you may care to see where your children will one day be raised." Narcissa cooed in a reverently sweet tone.

Estella narrowed her eyes. No one so much as implied how she chose to live her life! "Ewww, Dray and I are cousins!" She whined with as much juvenile mortification as she could muster.

Narcissa patted her on the head tolerantly. "Why, Draco's grandparents were second cousins just as you are." She assured her, unwilling to let her family secret slip just yet. "So sweet you refer to my little Dragon with such endearment. You will do him all manner of good, I can tell!"

Estella balked. Narcissa saw this and tutted. "I assure you in a few years you won't hold the same aversion towards the opposite gender as you do now."

'Nope, just Draco.' Estella thought to herself, smirking inwardly as she imagined the look on the boy's face when she called him 'little Dragon' in front of the whole school.

"You poor child, growing up without a mother to guide you into womanhood." Narcissa sighed, playing with Estella's hair. "I so did want to give Draco a sister. I always wanted a little girl of my own…"

"Then why didn't you?" Estella asked, biting back her snootiness.

Sighing, Narcissa explained. "Lucius doesn't see much value in daughters. He would be loathe to pay a dowry only to have the child relinquish the Malfoy name."

"Oh." Estella muttered, not knowing what else to say as she tried to move her head (and body) out of the touchy woman's reach as subtly as possible. "I'm sorry to hear you didn't get to have a little girl, Aunt Narcissa."

"You may call me Mother if you wish." Narcissa said hopefully. "I daresay I am the closest thing you have to one."

Staring at the meddling woman coolly, Estella pulled herself up to her full height. "I'm sorry, Aunt Narcissa, but I have a mother." Estella said as politely as she could. "She may be dead, but she died giving me life. I do not wish to dishonour her sacrifice in the pursuit of my own selfish needs."

For all outward appearances, Estella was proud of her poise and perceived objectivity at that moment; for it completely contradicted the red hot fury burning deep inside her.

Narcissa's face softened genuinely, and she gathered the child up into a hug. "Oh darling, if your mother was alive right now she would be so happy. Any man or woman would be proud to call you their own."

Hearing those uncharacteristically heartfelt and caring words from the last source she would ever have though to hear them from, Estella could not help herself. She let her tears fall as she folded willingly into the older woman's embrace. Narcissa was far from flawless, but her exhibited motherly instincts towards Estella were enough to give the child an insight into what it was she was missing out on. The thought that her own mother could have undoubtedly solicited these feelings in her at a whole different, far more superior, level made her heart ache. It was at moments such as these she truly appreciated just how gaping and unsustainable the void in her life was.

* * *

The two men were interrupted by a knock at the door. 

"Narcissa, you may enter." Lucius said dismissively, his wards sensing the identity of the person outside his door.

When Narcissa arrived without Estella, Severus' senses were automatically on alert. His fears were realised when the Malfoy matriarch got straight to the point.

"Severus, you must come quickly!" She beckoned urgently. "I don't know what happened. She was fine one minute… but she won't stop convulsing!"

With no amount of feigned concern, Severus was out of his chair and following Narcissa down the hall sooner than you could say 'aconite'. The sickness potion he had intended to slip into Estella's evening Cocoa was still concealed within the cuff of his sleeve and even if she had somehow imbibed it, the symptoms Narcissa was describing was not its prescribed effect.

As he made his way towards one of Narcissa's private parlours, he was dimly aware of Lucius close on his heels, following. Crashing into the room in Narcissa's wake, he was greeted with the sight of his niece curled up in a ball on one of the plush chaise lounges, convulsing uncontrollably as tears streamed down her face, her face twisted into a look of pain.

Crouching at her side in concern, he brushed a sweat matted lock of hair from her eyes and checked for any sign of fever.

Peering down at the child from over Severus' shoulder, Lucius voiced his opinion. "The child looks to be hysterical… distraught about something?" He half asked, casting his wife an accusing look. "Narcissa, fetch me a calming draught."

"No." Severus countered, thinking quickly for he did not wish to linger in the house a moment longer, let alone have his niece ingest a potion of questionable origin. "Estella has a sensitivity to moonstone, she cannot ingest the draught in its recognised formula."

"What can we do then?" Narcissa asked desperately.

Severus pulled Estella into a sitting position and knelt before her. "Estella!" He shook her. "Estella answer me at once!"

In response, Estella shook harder, her body wracking with uncontrollable sobs.

"Severus! She's turning blue!" Lucius observed, a slight edge of panic to his voice. It would not do for his vested interest in the future integrity of his bloodlines to pass out dead in his wife's sitting room.

A look of alarm sneaking through his standard mask of indifference, Severus paled. "Estella, listen to my voice!" He urged. "Listen to me! Breathe! Slow, deep breaths!"

Estella continued to be unresponsive, her eyes began to cloud over and roll back into her head.

"Narcissa, what on earth did you do?" Lucius roared at the woman.

"I-I-I…" Narcissa stuttered, tears coming to her eyes.

"Enough of this!" Severus snapped, pulling his wand and aiming it levelly at his niece. He had never experienced anything like this with the child before, but it was all he could think of to do at the time "Legillimens!"

End Chapter: Christmas


	55. It's All In The Eyes

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated: Friday 1st April 2005

**Chapter Fifty Five: It's all in the eyes**

Severus had entered Estella's mind countless times during their regular Occlumency sessions, but this was something he had never encountered before. Entering her mind this time, Severus' consciousness felt like it had been doused in freezing cold water. The link to his own mind and the outside world that he was always careful to maintain was severed, and he was falling.

Blackness. Nothing but cold air and wind… wind that whistled in his ears and carried with it the whisper of voices. Voices all around him, hissing and whispering in hushed tones so low, so far away, that he could not hear what they were saying or where they were coming from. As he fell further and further he began to lose grip on his sense of being. Why was he there? Why were the voices following him as he fell? Where was he?

"Lumos!" A voice he vaguely recognised as his own screamed out on its own volition, blinding his eyes with the resultant burst of white light that suddenly flooded his surroundings.

Closing his eyes to the sudden assault, his ears filled with the sound of his own lungs as they gasped for breath.

"Severus? Severus!" A man's voice roused him as it reached in through the fog of incoherence that was his mind and resonated like a beacon, guiding him back to shore.

"Lucius?" Severus croaked, his voice hoarse, as he opened his eyes. He was on the floor by the lounge. "How long? What happened?"

"I've never seen anything like it!" Lucius said, amazed. "You went into some sort of trance before passing out cold. It was like you had been attacked by a Dementor! I should be the one asking you what happened?"

"What about Estella?" He asked, trying to sit up to see where his niece was. "How did you get me to snap out of it?"

"Ennervate." Lucius said, as though it were obvious. "The child passed out when you did. She seems calmer though."

"We didn't want to try and move her or cast any spells on her because we saw what happened to you when you did." Narcissa added. "Her magic appears to be running wild. Lucius and I saw a lot of this when Draco used to have his little tantrums. It's best just to ride it out."

Severus shook his head wearily and pulled himself to his feet to look at the unconscious child twitching and fidgeting on the lounge. "I don't think this is a result of a tantrum. Her mind seems to have regressed into a long forgotten memory." He said, running a shaky hand through his hair, shivering at the memory inside Estella's head. "I had not thought it would have been possible…"

"What was possible?" Narcissa asked as Severus' voice trailed off.

"That she would remember it." Severus sighed, looking at his niece with a haunted cloud in his eyes.

"Azkaban?" Lucius said in a low tone, his face hardening as Severus nodded absently. "Those muggle loving fools at the Ministry call themselves the _light_!" He spat. "It's an outrage! Not even our Dark Lord would have subjected a infant to such travesty. Death would have been more merciful."

Severus raised his eyebrows indiscernibly in disbelief. Voldemort was hardly a merciful man – the idea that such treatment would have merit in its depravity had probably just never occurred to him. Looking down at his niece hopelessly, he voiced his intentions to leave. "If you would excuse us, I think it best if I…"

"Oh yes of course, Severus." Lucius said accommodatingly. "I'll have Dobby return your luggage shortly. You leave straight away and see to your niece."

Nodding gratefully, Severus thanked the Malfoys for their hospitality and bid his farewell before bundling the prone form of his niece into his arms and accepting use of the parlour's Floo.

* * *

No sooner had Severus stepped out of the hearth and into the sanctuary of his dungeon quarters did the child in the arms stir and awaken. 

"Neat party trick, hey Uncle Sev!" She said gloatingly. "Did you see the look on Lucius' face? I wish I had a camera! I'll have to preserve it in a penseive…"

Severus all but dropped Estella to the floor in shock. "You… you…" He said wordlessly, stabbing his finger at the increasingly smug child before him.

"…really didn't want to make myself sick on potion?" Estella offered helpfully, crossing her arms across her chest and raising one eyebrow in perfect homage to her Uncle. "Don't tell me you fell for it too?" She asked incredulously, the victorious look on her face falling as she took in his inarticulate state. "You really passed out?" She cried out, her eyes wide.

"Yes I did pass out." Severus said quietly as his shock subsided, giving him back control of his faculties which he deftly put to use easing himself into his favoured chair, easing the strain on his rubbery legs.

Then, steepling his fingers and gathering as much authoritative strength as he could muster, he looked at Estella levelly. "…and I would like to know precisely how you did it."

"You're not mad?" Estella asked uneasily as she sunk into her chair across from him.

"Oh I'm absolutely _furious_." Severus assured her dryly. "However, my curiosity precedes my anger. Explain."

Shifting uncomfortably in her chair, Estella ignored her Uncle's impatient look as she summoned Lena and ordered them both some drinks and something to eat to settle them in for the long haul. Her performance as it was took a lot out of her.

"So," Estella began between mouthfuls of chocolate cake. "Where should I start? You want the long version or the abridged?"

"I don't have anywhere I have to be, do you?" Severus responded impatiently.

"Well to start with, I didn't plan it." She said, absently brushing crumbs off the arm of her chair. "I would have told you if I had."

The look on her Uncle's face determined it was not much of a consolation.

"Anyway, Narcisssa said something to me that upset me and I thought I might as well use it to my advantage." She said simply.

"That's all?" Her Uncle asked incredulously after a bridge of silence. "Whatever did she say to you to get you so upset?"

"Oh it wasn't what she said that caused that." Estella assured her Uncle. "It was merely the beginning. I got that upset – and yes I was upset – by thinking about everything in my life that has ever hurt me. By combining it all into one great big event… one thought… one emotion. It's hard to explain."

Severus nodded, comprehension settling in his mind even though it still unnerved him to think he had exposed his niece to enough heartache to cause her to react like that when combined.

"What about when I…" He started.

"That? Oh I had no idea you were going to react that way!" Estella defended. "I really thought you had caught on and were being melodramatic for effect. You and I both know I am not allergic to Moonstone!"

"Yes, but what was that you pulled me into?" He asked, getting frustrated in his pursuit for answers. "It wasn't any memory I can associate with you having."

Estella leant back in her chair, her eyes dazzling with an ecstatic look. "You mean I managed to keep you from accessing my mind?" She needled. "You didn't see anything but that?"

Severus nodded.

"Really?" Estella was getting excited now.

"It had a unprecedentedly _profound_ effect on me." Severus admitted reluctantly. "What was it?"

"The reason I don't like the dark… or care much for flying around on thin sticks of wood." Estella said flippantly. "What? Don't give me that look! I don't know where it comes from, alright? It's just something that's always been there, in the back of my mind, since forever."

_It was Azkaban_. Severus' head spun. All those years of working towards making her forget and she subconsciously managed to draw on the effects of the Dementors and _that_ place to occlude her mind. Severus wondered if Estella even knew just what she had done. It appeared she didn't.

Studying his niece's face for any sign of deception, Severus frowned. She had already proven to him once today that she was capable of fooling him. The object of his thoughts, meanwhile, was reaching her own conclusions.

"Wait a minute." She said, a hard edge to her voice. "If you really did pass out and were 'profoundly effected' by my mind, does that mean your own defences went down?"

Severus paled, the sinking feeling he felt evidently revealing itself in his eyes because Estella's eyes narrowed.

"I was inside your mind then!" She exclaimed, somewhat disturbed by the revelation. "I thought my imagination was running away with me, cooking up hair-brained conspiracies for why Narcissa was showing me the manor's _nurseries_ and talking about _grandchildren_ and asking me to call her _Mother_!"

Estella was becoming increasingly wild eyed and hysterical. "So it was true. That conversation between you and Lucius really happened? I think I am going to be sick! How could you!"

"Estella! Sit down!" Severus stood and tried to still the pacing child, his mind hopeful that she had not witnessed the entire conversation. "Tell me what you saw and I will elaborate. If you would just calm down I am sure you will see past what you witnessed and acknowledge that my true sentiments at the time were to the contrary!"

"How can I believe you?" Estella hissed, her voice cold and hard as she shook herself out of her Uncle's grip. "You said I had to see them because they were family and they're not! You said I could spend this Christmas with Remus and I couldn't!"

Severus ran a hand through his hair and gestured helplessly, his arms flailing as he found he was lost for words. "Estella… I was playing a part. You saw in my mind I only just found out about Narcissa's parents tonight! We were both misled!"

"Don't 'Estella' me!" She cried, her deepest insecurity emerging in her coerced emotional state. "Why didn't you play the part of _my Uncle _and tell Lucius where he could stick his proposal? You could have refused because Lucius wouldn't say who Narcissa's father really was! Admit it! You want to get rid of me! You want to trade me off like some rare potions ingredient so you can get on with your life!"

"Estella…" Severus pleaded now, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Are you denying that you'd choose Draco over… over… over… someone like Harry?" Estella accused scathingly.

"What I would chose for you is irrelevant, Estella." Severus said warily, choosing his words very carefully. "It's what you want..."

"What about what you want?" Estella cried bitterly. "Surely you must want a family of your own? A child that has _your_ eyes…"

Severus took a step back, thrown by her words. "You are my family." He spluttered. "Why would you think differently?"

"You don't speak of me the same way they do." She answered incoherently. "You don't look at me like that."

"Like what? I don't understand." Severus struggled to get a grasp on his niece's spiralling hormones. "Did you want me to call your Godfather, see if he can understand…"

"Oh yeah sure, call Remus! When things get too uncomfortable for you, send me off to someone else. That's just great!" Estella said.

"I don't understand, I thought that's what you would prefer…"

"That's just it, you don't understand! You don't even try to." Estella said sadly as she brushed passed her uncle and crossed the room to open the door to the hallway. "Just leave me alone Uncle Sev, I'm tired and I want to be alone."

"Maybe it's for the best." Severus said edgily, his hands shaking. "I don't know what to do with you anymore. Perhaps the emotions you utilised to instigate your performance today are clouding your perspective. Come back when you're ready to have a rational conversation."

Estella froze in her tracks. She had expected her Uncle to try and make her stay, to at least try and make everything alright. Never let a sun set on a argument and all that. But he wasn't. He was sending her away! Everything she thought was true! She was holding him back. He wanted his own family. A fresh wave of tears washing over her, she stormed out into the hallway and ran. Just ran. No idea of where she was going or where she would end up, just trying to put as much distance between herself and her pain as possible.

It wasn't working. All it did was cause her to lose her bearings and collapse in a dark hallway, out of breath. Reaching for her wand, she cast a '_lumos maxima_', to try and get a gauge of where she was. Realising she was about halfway between the Slytherin dorms and the first floor girl's bathroom, she leant against the cool, consistent stone wall and sat, contemplative. As her breathing started to steady, and her sobs quietened, Estella froze.

She could hear something coming towards her.

Scrambling to her feet, Estella was immediately on her guard. Keep her wand tip lit in front of her for light, she pulled out her father's wand and was ready with a curse on her lips. When the offending form came into her wand light, it's wide eyes gleaming, the pieces of the puzzle Estella had been struggling with since term began freefell into place.

She now knew what the creature of the Chamber of Secrets was.

End Chapter: It's All in the Eyes


	56. Scared Stiff

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated Sunday 3rd April 2005

**Chapter Fifty Six: Scared Stiff.**

"Do you think we should let Crabbe and Goyle out of the closet?" Ron asked as they dashed from the Slytherin Common room, their polyjuiced forms rapidly disintegrating.

Harry snorted at the inferred Muggle joke. "No, let them eat their way out. I want to get back to Hermione. See if she's alright."

Nodding, Ron walked slightly ahead of Harry. "By the way, nice job keeping your glasses on when we were in there you dolt!"

"What was I supposed to do? Stumble around there blindly?" Harry asked. "I thought my eyesight would adjust to the form I was taking, so either it didn't work or he's as blind as I am!"

"Maybe he needs glasses and that's why he does so badly in class?" Ron shrugged, turning around to walk backwards as he looked at Harry and pulled a face.

"Oi Ron, watch where you're going!" Harry called out in warning as Ron tripped over backwards on something on the floor. "You're going to trip…" He finished lamely.

"Ow!" Ron groaned, poking around as he lay sprawled on the floor. "Hey, it's soft!"

Harry pulled out his wand and cast a lighting charm. His eyes taking in the unmoving form of the student before him, Harry gasped.

"Estella?" he exclaimed. "She… she's been petrified, Ron. Look!"

Sure enough, Estella would not respond to any of their attempts to revive her. The girl's eyes were wide and staring at them emptily, glazed with tears as her body lay rigidly against the wall; both hands outstretched in a defensive position, a wand tightly clenched in each.

"Cor, where'd she get _two_ wands from?" Ron gawked.

"Looks like she was casting a '_lumos_' with one and intending to defend herself with the other." Harry said, pointing. "Look, the wand tip is still glowing!"

"That's because she didn't get to cancel the spell!" Ron whispered. "Guess this means she can't be the heir of Slytherin."

"Of course she's not!" Harry said. "Come on, we have to get help."

"But Harry, if you are found with another victim everyone will be after you for sure!" Ron said fearfully. "We can't exactly tell them we couldn't possibly have been involved because we were too busy impersonating Crabbe and Goyle in the Slytherin Common rooms! Snape would skin us alive!" He cried. "Aw bloody hell, Harry! It's Snape's niece! He's gonna kill us anyway!"

"Shut up Ron! Get a grip on yourself!" Harry snapped irritably. "We didn't do anything. I don't care what the school thinks, I'm not about to leave her. What if whatever did it comes back to finish her off?"

Ron paled. "H-h-h-harry! It might come back! We got to get out of here! Get a teacher!" He rambled. "How are we going to get her to the infirmary?"

Harry rolled his eyes and readied his wand. "Ron, light the way, I'm going to levitate her." He said, waiting until Ron had complied before he cancelled his light spell to free his wand up for the levitation charm. "_Nox. Mobilicorpus_."

By the time they reached the infirmary, Ron was a nervous wreck and Harry was sweating from the mental concentration of maintaining the levitation charm all that way.

"Madame Pomfrey!" Ron cried out hysterically as they crashed through the infirmary doors, only to stop in their tracks. "Hermione?"

Hermione looked up from one of the cots by the door where she was sitting awkwardly; having just been on the receiving end of one of Madame Pomfrey's lectures. "Harry? Ron? Oh my God is that Estella? She's been petrified!" She said all at once. "Look, her wands are still active! Everything has been completely preserved!"

"Oh dear Merlin!" Madame Pomfrey exclaimed, bustling into the ward to see the petrified child Harry had lowered onto a bed. "Step away children! Potter, tell me what happened! Granger, you send for Professor Dumbledore, Weasley, you go fetch Professor Snape, he will want to know this too."

Hermione scampered off without hesitation, but Ron froze in his tracks. "M-m-me?" He stammered, his voice a terrified squeak. "You want me to fetch Professor S-snape?"

"Oh buck up, Mr Weasley! You call yourself a Gryffindor!" Madame Pomfrey exclaimed. "Use the Floo in my office, I don't have time for nonsense now go!"

Ron cast Harry a 'I-told-you-we're-going-to-die' look and stumbled into the nurse's office, his hands shaking so badly as he pulled a handful of Floo Powder from the jar that he spilt it all over his robes and sneezed.

"Professor Snape!" He called into the fire, spluttering and sneezing as she summoned every ounce of Gryffindor courage he had.

"Weasley?" Professor Snape's voice bellowed questioningly in response – so loud that even the nurse and Harry could hear it from inside the infirmary. "What on earth are you doing in my fireplace?"

"It's Estella, Sir." Ron said quickly. "She's been p-petrified, Sir."

Professor Snape's voice changed, becoming almost choked. "Stand aside, boy! I'm coming through!" He said gruffly, giving Ron barely enough time to scamper back on his knees to avoid being bowled over by the Potion Master's sweeping stride as the man practically dove through the Floo.

"Poppy!" Severus roared. "Where is my niece!"

"Right here, Severus." Madame Pomfrey said forlornly. "Messieurs Potter and Weasley brought her in not five minutes ago. It's just like with the others."

Severus ignored the woman's sympathetic ministrations, his eyes fixated on the petrified form of his niece. With both wands at the ready, she had evidently put up a fight. The look of frozen terror on her face, however, was something Severus knew would haunt him for the rest of his days. Falling heavily into the seat by her bedside that Harry had smartly vacated, Severus ran a sweaty hand over his face.

"Where did you find her?" He said in a tone so foreign, the boy he was speaking to had a hard time locating its source.

"I-in the corridor past the stairs to the Dungeons." Harry answered softly. "She was already on the floor. Ron tripped over her. We would have sent for a teacher but we didn't know if whatever did this was still around or not."

"Harry levitated her all the way here." Ron added helpfully. "While I lit the way with my wand."

"Well what do you want, a medal?" Severus spat bitterly. "I'd tell you to get out, but the headmaster will likely want a word."

"Boys, why don't you come wait with me in my office? Professor Snape would like some time alone with his niece."

The boys nodded numbly and allowed the nurse to guide them into her office.

Standing so he could lean over his niece's body to study her face intently, Severus rested his hands on either side of her face. Releasing a shaky breath he didn't realise he'd been holding, he gazed into her teary eyes, searching for any sign of response.

"Oh Estella." His voice cracked, in a shadow of a whisper as he rested his forehead against Estella's brow. "I'm so sorry, child."

* * *

The days melted into weeks, and a new term began. Severus still refused to leave Estella's bedside, having accepted Dumbledore's offer to hire a substitute in favour of spending his every waking moment talking and reading to Estella. At night he'd sit and stare at Estella's lifeless eyes as they twinkled in the twilight, falling asleep at some point in the small hours with his body twisted in unnatural positions in the chair. 

Each time he fell asleep, however, he dreamt. Nightmarish visions of Estella's petrified state when he had retrieved her infant form blurred and morphed into her present state of stasis. In his nightmare he didn't get to take Estella home with him that day because he was classed 'unsuitable', implying that the freshly burning image of her 11 year old form lying there scared stiff was how she'd spent her whole life.

Waking fitfully each and every time with the dream ending the same way – Severus lost in a dark corridor in Azkaban unable to find his niece and save her from being petrified her whole life, surrounded by the cold darkness that haunted her subconscious still – Severus was assaulted each and every new day with deeper resolve and realisation. He had been raising Estella for the past 11 years and yet he had never told her how he felt. Hell, he didn't even know how he felt. Estella was doing more to him that just fulfilling the initial intention of filling the void in his life that Selina's betrayal and death had left, and he didn't know how to deal with it. Faced with losing his child for the second time, Severus realised whole heartedly that Estella had his heart in her hands. His life would be forfeit without her. She was his very reason for living.

And she didn't even know it.

* * *

Slowly, the winter's snow thawed to make way for Spring. Severus, who had since been convinced to at least sleep in a cot by Estella's bed and freshen himself up with a real shower and set of clean clothes each day, was insisting upon daily updates on the Mandrakes' development from Professor Sprout. He had also taken to conducting infirmary bound meetings with his relief staff – a young Potions Apprentice from Denmark by the name of Clive Adler – to discuss lesson plans and teaching strategy; and reading through essays in the dark of night. 

Professor Dumbledore had urged him to start teaching again, maintaining that Estella was in no immediate danger and that there was nothing to do but wait until the Mandrakes were mature enough to be harvested; but Severus was having none of it. Too often in the past, Estella had felt set aside by his teaching commitments and he was going to be damned if he let her wait out the long months until the remedy was ready alone. If he had just been open with her and not pushed her away she wouldn't have even been alone in that corridor in the first place.

After Creevey and Estella, a Hufflepuff second year and fifth year Ravenclaw were added to the list of petrifications, as well as one of the Gryffindor trio themselves, Hermione Granger. Unfortunately for Severus, this meant he had to contend with a daily vigil of loyal Hufflepuffs, precocious Ravenclaws and protective Gryffindors hovering at their respective housemate's bedside day in and day out. Yet while he thought the omnipresence of the likes of Potter and Weasley would grate at his nerves, it warmed him to know just how many of them cared for Estella and were genuinely concerned for her. Before Granger had been petrified, he'd even caught Potter under an invisibility cloak sneaking in after hours to check on his niece. For a matter of survival, a temporary amnesty was called – their respective decisions to set aside their classroom animosity reached completely autonomously and unspoken – as both sides tolerated being in the same room with each other by simply failing to acknowledge the other was even there.

Draco, too, had taken to visiting on a regular basis. Severus suspected that the blonde-haired Slytherin loitered in the shadows of the corridor outside (or had one of his minions scout out the scene for him) until the other students left because the boy had an almost uncanny knack of timing. Quite often he brought with him words of support and concern from Lucius and Narcissa – the pair most likely out to protect their own deranged interests. Draco, however, Severus could not easily read. He was particularly surprised when the pale blonde boy suggested that someone fetch Estella's magical Muggle Music box from her trunk 'to give her something to listen to at least'.

Estella's friends, meanwhile, had pooled their combined resources to ensure Estella did not fall behind in her classes. Amongst the study group Estella had formed, her classmates had drawn up a flawless, regimented schedule by which study partners and friends from her respective classes would sit and read class notes and assigned readings to her on a rotational basis. Severus couldn't help but marvel at the ingenuity of the student's time management skills. Somehow they managed to vary the timing of each student's obligated visit and distribute the class work so evenly amongst themselves that not only was Estella never without a guest (before curfew anyway), but each of the students that diligently informed Estella of what she was missing out on did so at a pace that they never tired of, that never imposed on their own social time or study or extra curricular involvements.

So, as it were, like clockwork, fellow Ravenclaws Reginald Davies and John Ryan would spend Monday lunchtime and Thursday after classes reviewing their work in Herbology. Gryffindor Victoria Frobisher and Estella's roommate Elsie Carmichael would visit during lunch on Fridays and Tuesday after classes to keep Estella up to date in her Charms work. A Hufflepuff by the name of Ophelia Cauldwell would come with a Muggleborn Ravenclaw called Allegra Chambers to tell Estella how much she wasn't missing out on in Defence Against The Dark Arts during Lunch on Tuesdays. Another Gryffindor, Kendra Towler – whose older brother Severus noted amongst the more promising of his fourth year students – rounded up the little conscientious group of friends as they divided the remaining subjects between them diligently. They had Estella's time so well mapped out, that Severus felt his lips twitching when Reginald – half way through describing a star chart during a Astronomy tutorial – snapped at the loitering boy-who-lived and told him to schedule his 'social' visit after dinner when 'miscellaneous' guests were permitted so as to not interfere with Estella's 'learning' at other times of the day.

Although Severus worked towards keeping his mask of 'greasy git' potions master in place when they were around him and his niece, he could not help but appreciate these hard working, caring students on a whole different level. Unbeknownst to them – and in fact everyone in the school save Dumbledore – Severus kept a ledger of every student who visited Estella, covertly awarding five points to their respective houses each and every time they appeared. Short of actually vocalising his appreciation to them, it was the closest they were going to get to acknowledgement and Severus didn't care if the mysteriously appearing extra points were the School's latest conspiracy that the staff and students would never think to attribute it to him; all that mattered was that he knew… and Estella too, if she was listening.

No more secrets.

End Chapter: Scared Stiff


	57. The Place Between

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated: Wednesday 6th April 2005

**Chapter Fifty Seven: The Place Between.**

Estella was floating. The last thing she could remember was casting a defensive shield to fend off the slithering shadow of the approaching Basilisk and then nothing, blackness. When she had awoken, she was alarmed to find herself in spiritual form, gazing over her corporeal being below on the infirmary cot. Her Uncle was stooped low in his chair, his head resting in his arms that were balancing on the side of the bed. Judging by the dark quiet of the room, it was night time, though how many days had passed Estella did not know.

"Estella…" A woman's voice called, getting louder.

Suddenly, Estella wasn't in the Hogwarts infirmary anymore, she was in her bed in her room at the house Remus lived in. Her parents home. Sitting up abruptly, Estella rubbed her eyes, trying to discern if the landscape before her were real or not.

"You aren't really here, child." The woman's voice said softly as a figure slowly came into form, sitting on the side of the bed. "This is the place between sleep and wake. You are aware of it because your present state has awoken your subconscious."

"Mum?" Estella's eyes widened. "Is it really you?"

"Yes sweetheart, it's really me." Selina said sadly, caressing Estella's cheek.

"But if this is my subconscious…" Estella was sceptical.

"You are a part of me, and I am a part of you." Selina said by way of explanation. "I have always been here, with you. Watching, just watching. Until now."

"Oh Mum!" Estella strangled a sob, throwing herself into her mother's arms for the first time in her life.

For a long while, they were content to just hold each other.

"When I was pregnant with you, I used to dream of this." Her mother said softly into her hair, breathing in the scent. "Tucking you in at night in this room, watching you take your first steps on the rug, teaching you how to read in the armchair, showing you your father's star in the night sky…"

"Sirius?" Estella asked, turning her head up to look at her mother.

"How I miss him so." She sighed, looking out the window and into the night sky mournfully. "I cannot see him where he is."

"Neither can I." Estella said, holding her mother tighter. "But I don't know if I'd want to either."

Selina pulled away suddenly and held Estella at arms length, giving her a scrutinising look. "Your father loves you oh so much, Estella." She said firmly. "More so than he even loved me. You are his child, Estella, and that bond is a powerful thing. I envy that you have that, but at the same time I am glad because it is what keeps me with you now."

"But I don't want to be his child!" Estella said softly. "He did bad things! You don't know…"

"Hush my baby," Selina interrupted, stilling Estella's words with a hand to her lips. "I didn't come here to upset you. I know your father inside-out, and I know that he is capable of making mistakes just like my brother. I also know that neither of them would ever do anything to deliberately hurt you. Promise me you will remember that in times to come."

Estella nodded dumbly. "I promise." She whispered, trying to memorise every inch of her mother, who was pulling away again.

"I have to go now, your Uncle is waking up. He'll want you to listen to him." Selina said knowingly as they suddenly reappeared hovering over the early morning bustle of the Hogwarts Infirmary. "Remember what I said, Estella darling. Remember that I love you and will be with you always."

Estella turned around alarmed, "Y-you won't stay with me until I am revived?"

Selina looked at her sadly. "I'll never leave you child, but I am not able to take form in your subconscious for much longer."

"Why not?" Estella said, her breathing hitched.

"It's draining too much of your magic. You will lapse into a coma and might never awaken." Selina explained. "And even if you did, you will find it too difficult to readjust to living. I'm so proud of you, Estella. Don't ever forget."

Estella nodded reluctantly. Deep down she knew what her mother was saying was true. If her mother was going to stay with her every minute that she lay petrified, she didn't know if she'd even want to wake up when the time came. "I love you, Mum." She said softly. "Will I ever see you again?"

"I'll be with you in your dreams, sweetheart. Waiting in the place between sleep and wake." Selina said, cupping Estella's face in her hands and kissing her forehead before fading away.

Sighing deeply, Estella was roused from savouring the lingering presence of her mother by her Uncle's scratchy voice. Over the days, weeks and months that followed, Estella was truly touched by just how much her Uncle really cared for her. Her fears that he was feeling obliged to raise her and that her presence in his life came at the cost of him starting his own family were, as she was soon to discover, unfounded. As she listened to her Uncle pour out his soul – even going so far as to tell her why he hadn't been so open with her all along – Estella's spiritual form was left tingling with warmth and contentment.

She was also warmed to realise just how much the acquaintances she had made in her study groups and classes really seemed to care for her – they were really going out of their way to keep her up to date in her studies and abridged on the day to day happenings of the school. It was thanks to their ministrations that Estella was able to spend her time reciting her responses to essay questions to herself, memorising the work by heart so that writing them out when she awoke or submitting them by pensieve would be possible.

When her Uncle started giving them all house points on the sly, she would have fallen over in shock had her physical self not been in a petrified state. Far from being bored in that bed day in and day out, Estella learnt a lot about herself and the life she was blessed with. It was a refreshing time for introspection and reflection that enabled her to get a more stable reign on her warring hormones and emotions and sort herself out.

The only frustrating thing about being petrified was not being able to eat or tell anyone that the creature of the Chamber of Secrets was a Basilisk. Her body being in a perfectly preserved state, she physically did not require sustenance, but in her subconscious spiritual form she missed the senses of touch, of taste, of smell. Why she could still see what was around her and hear she assumed was just one of those predetermined things. She wasn't entirely sure, but maybe it had something to do with the order in which the foetus became aware of its senses in utero.

Being so conditioned by its usual bodily needs, Estella rested her mind each night as though sleeping. It not only made the time go faster, but it gave her an opportunity to dream. Although she had yet to recall a dream with enough lucidity to discern her mother's presence, whenever she awoke particularly happy or refreshed she knew her mother had been with her, implanting stories and songs and emotions into her subconscious. After her first nightmare in her petrified state, Estella realised with stark clarity that the strange warmth she had felt – just like she had felt after such dreams in the past – was attributable to the lingering effect of her mother's soothing reassurances. From that, she realised suddenly that it didn't really matter if she remembered exactly what happened in the time between sleep and wake. All that mattered was that she knew her mother was with her.

She was not alone.

End Chapter: The Place Between


	58. Awakenings

**Chapter Fifty Eight: Awakenings**

Shortly after Estella had been petrified, things had began to spiral out of control at Hogwarts. Lucius Malfoy had began exerting his pressure on the School's Board of Governors to remove Dumbledore from his position as Headmaster, stating "If he couldn't even protect a pureblood from harm, then he was clearly incompetent". Worse still, was his conviction to see the half giant – then a student - framed of the Chamber's opening fifty years previously held accountable for the attacks this time round. By the time Spring had started to roll to a close, he succeeded, and Dumbledore was asked to leave the school and Hagrid was sent to Azkaban.

Pandemonium ensured. All Dumbledore's removal had done was cause the staff to become even more fearful for the safety of the students. Those that knew unequivocally of Lucius Malfoy's true allegiances realised with stark clarity that the vehement blood purist would seize the opportunity to rid the school of muggleborns and halfbloods.

In an effort to protect her patients, Madame Pomfrey had quarantined the Infirmary, barring admittance of all who were not a patient or a family member. Much to Madame Pomfrey's dismay, Lucius Malfoy did not hesitate to exploit this loophole in securing Draco the right to visit his 'cousin'; even visiting himself to gloat in his victory against Dumbledore and the bumbling half-giant he had been secretly terrified of when he was but a vertically challenged first year.

"Severus, my friend." Lucius drawled as he prowled into the Infirmary and leant languidly against a stone pillar to leer down at the dishevelled man before him. "You look like absolute trash, Severus. 'Scourigify'"

Severus shot out of his chair as though bitten, the unwelcome sensation of hundreds of brushes scrubbing him clean, airing his clothes and washing his hair sending him into a tirade. "Merlin, Lucius! You could have at least used a gentler cleaning charm!" Severus growled. "One that is actually tailored for human use!"

"Oh you know me, Severus." Lucius shrugged nonchalantly. "Defence was always much more my subject."

'_Offence, more likely' _Severus sneered inwardly, referring to his Slytherin classmate's distinct choice in extra-curricular activities while at school.

"What are you doing here, Lucius?" Severus said warily, running a hand through his hair. "I thought Pomfrey had closed the infirmary to guests that are not family."

"Ah, but by virtue of marriage I am family." Lucius drawled, smiling. "I was ever so sure to stress that point with the old witch at the door."

"I'm touched." Severus quipped.

"Draco tells me you haven't taught a class since it happened?" Lucius asked pointedly, fishing for information… specifically Severus' weaknesses.

"My niece was attacked on my watch, Lucius. I couldn't very well leave my heir unattended after that with an old fool like Dumbledore in charge." He sneered, covering for the fact that he stayed with her because he cared. "I would have taken her and left if it didn't come at the cost of my position at this School."

Lucius nodded, apparently satisfied with Severus' answer. "Unfortunate accident." He tutted, peering at Estella's stilled body. "Looks like she put up a bit of a fight. You should be proud."

"They say it was the shield she'd put up between her and the snake that saved her life." Severus said quietly. "Had she waited until she could see her attacker she wouldn't be here now."

"Clever girl." Lucius acknowledged. "Then again, she is a Ravenclaw after all."

"Indeed." Severus replied half heartedly.

"When will the remedy be ready?" Lucius asked. "Narcissa sends her fondest regards and would love to have you both visit over the Summer."

"The Mandrakes will be mature enough for harvesting by next week. Theoretically the remedy will be administered and students healed by the end of the month." Severus said. "If you could pass on my gratitude to Narcissa and submit our apologies, I'm afraid I already have plans for Estella over the break." He paused. "She has a lot of work to catch up on, and I have yet to get to the bottom of the little incident that occurred over Christmas."

"Yes, yes, of course." Lucius nodded. "I will break the news to Narcissa gently, though I daresay she is surely used to such declinations by now."

Severus averted his eyes, silently willing the imposing Malfoy to leave.

As though he was taking the hint, Lucius continued. "I'd best be on my way. I only stopped by on my way to accompanying the Minister in his duty to remove Dumbledore from office and have that abominable giant arrested…" he sneered, his eyes glinting. "… and I thought you might like to know."

With that, Lucius Malfoy shifted his weight back to his feet and pushed off from the pillar he was leaning against. Crossing the room with out so much as a backwards glance or uttered word, he was gone almost as soon as he came, leaving a bewildered Severus Snape in his wake.

* * *

Sure enough, a week later the Mandrake remedy was ready for consumption and the children were revived in the order they were petrified. Incidentally, Potter of all people had also found the Chamber and sleighed the Basilisk, giving the Ministry no more cause to keep Dumbledore from the school or Hagrid in Azkaban.

The feast that followed this series of events was an affair Severus had not seen in all his days – both as a student and a teacher – as the students celebrated in the Great Hall dressed only in their pyjamas, the party lasting until the small hours.

Estella had 'woken' from her petrified state as though she had been splashed with a cold glass of water. Unlike Severus, her body was neither stiff or sore from months of inaction, and she took a few moments to find her bearings. Her conscious mind could not register the passing of time between the night she was petrified and the moment she was recovered, as it was her subconscious that had silently kept her Uncle company all those days of her convalescence and listened as her classmates talked.

Although this meant she didn't specifically remember any particular event she had witnessed whilst in her petrified state, her mind was filled with an innate sense of wellbeing and calm. The insecurities that had once plagued her were inexplicably gone, and she felt so much closer to her Uncle. When quizzed, she even found she knew the answers to questions she had yet to physically study – her subconscious supplying the answers like it was knowledge she already knew. Every now and then, a snippet of recollection of the time she spent trapped in her subconscious would come to her in her dreams and she would awaken remembering a few more pieces of the puzzle; but at the end of the day she was just happy to be back and have things return to normal.

The summer break arrived before she knew it and it was time to say goodbye to the friends she felt she had hardly enough time to get to know. Her Uncle, as it had turned out, had bought her a majestic black owl all of her own as her Christmas present, but he had been unable to give it to her after what had happened. Naming it Aquila, after the Eagle constellation, Estella was ecstatic that she had an independent way to keep in contact with her new school friends (and family of course).

Travelling on the Hogwarts Express once more with all her classmates as they departed the school for another year and her shiny new Owl cage by her side, Estella couldn't be happier. She was finally going to get to see her Godfather for the first time since the fire-call on her Birthday and she couldn't wait to see him. Her Uncle Sev had even promised to come visit and stay with them a few days "To make sure you're being adequately cared for" the man had maintained, but Estella just knew it was because something in her Uncle had changed while she was petrified and that he was coming to honour some sort of promise he'd made to himself.

"Moony!" She shrieked as she saw the familiar form of her Godfather amongst the parents waiting for their children on Platform 9¾, dropping her bag and running towards him eagerly in a scene reminiscent of many times past.

"Estella!" Remus called out, rushing towards her urgently, no longer needing to fall to his knees when he took her into his arms anymore. "I was so worried about you!"

"Ugh, Remus, stop it! People are staring!" Estella pushed her Godfather away playfully as he smothered her in kisses.

Growling playfully, Remus nuzzled Estella's neck and pouted. "But I haven't given you a kiss for everyday we've been apart yet?"

"Uncle Remus, your lips are going to drop off from overuse!" Estella rolled her eyes, falling back into their old familiar routine. "Besides, I'm getting too old for it now."

Remus sighed dramatically, but, ever a marauder at heart, he soon had Estella in a fireman's carry. "Aha but you're not too old for this!" He exclaimed, spinning her around much to her embarrassment. Around them, students whispered and conspired, those that who didn't know her family history assuming Remus to be some Muggle relative, whilst the more outlandishly imaginative supposed it was the potions master himself in disguise.

"Estella?" A excited girl's voice squeaked.

Remus flipped Estella over and settled her on her feet, keeping his hands on her shoulders until she found her balance.

"Elsie?" She asked dizzily, shaking the double vision from her spinning head. "Victoria, Ophelia… hey guys, this is the Godfather I told you about!"

"Only Godfather," Remus corrected, shaking their hands each in turn. "Remus Lupin. Nice to meet you Elsie… Victoria… Ophelia."

The girls, predictably, gushed and swooned under the enigmatic werewolf's attentive gaze, their hearts aflutter.

"You're different from the photo Estella showed us." Elsie said, sighing. "Better…"

The other girls giggled nervously as Elsie blushed and averted her eyes, her ears burning with the realisation of what she had let slip.

Estella rolled her eyes and nudged her Godfather. "I think it's love at first sight!" She whispered in his ear.

Remus had the decency to blush uncomfortably, congenially indulging the threesome in small conversation before reluctantly excusing himself and Estella to take their leave.

"You have very interesting friends." Remus said as they walked the short few blocks back to the house. "Do they always giggle so much?"

"Only when in the presence of illusive older men they find 'staggeringly' handsome!" Estella quipped as they crossed the threshold into the familiar cozy house.

Blushing again, Remus managed a pout. "Alas, it seems the light of my life does not find me staggeringly handsome." He mocked.

"Yeah, but you're my Godfather!" Estella said, mortified, though she was blushing awkwardly.

"I bet I can still make you giggle." He said slyly, with a glint in his eye as he started to chase Estella around the house. Cornering her behind the desk in the study, he tackled her to the floor and soon had her in a fit of giggles, begging for mercy.

"Admit it!" He growled, tickling her ribs as she squirmed on the floor unable to get away "I'm staggeringly handsome."

"N-n-n-never!" Estella refused stubbornly.

The tickling ensued.

"What's that book?" Estella asked suddenly, quelling her movements and staring past Remus to a point above her. "No, really! What is it!"

Puzzled, Remus hesitated in his mischievous ministrations and loosened his grip on Estella to look behind him. It was all Estella needed to leap out of his grip and shot off, leaving him sprawled and bewildered on the study floor.

"Mwha mwha ha ha!" Estella did the 'evil' laugh, grinning gleefully as she dodged her Godfather's half-hearted grab and leapt over the back of the lounge to stand next to the television – the designated 'safe' zone in such games. "I win!" She cried triumphantly, jumping up and down.

Her opponent, however, did not appear to be listening to her as he crossed the imaginary line separating the game zones and continuing his approach.

"Remus! What are you doing?" Estella asked warily, tapping the top of the television for emphasis. "I'm safe here!"

"Yes, Estella, you are." Remus said softly with a unreadable look on his face. "Now c'mere!" He pulled Estella into a strong embrace. "Merlin, I missed you!"

Estella pulled back with a indignant look on her face. "How can you miss a guy who died thousands of years before you were born?" She asked, screwing her face up. "You're…you're not that way inclined are you? Elsie would be devastated!"

Seeing the evil glint return in her Godfather's eye, Estella bolted – safe zone or not – her laughter filling the house. The chase was on.


	59. Hushed Discussions

Disclaimer: Chapter one

Updated: Saturday 9th April 2005

**Chapter Fifty Nine: Hushed Discusssions **

The rest of the summer passed with more or less the same amount of fun and mirth. Early in July, her Uncle had come, as promised, to visit for a week; even indulging them in their efforts to educate him on Muggle inventions. Surprisingly, he became quite a force to be reckoned with once he'd mastered the basics of electronic gaming; blitzing all of their high scores and being none-too-subtle with his smugness afterwards. Of course, the formidably controlled Potions Master still conducted himself in his rudimentary manner – wearing his customary black clothes and never calling Remus anything but 'Lupin' – but he was uncharacteristically a lot more receptive to trying new things. Especially when it was something that brought him closer to Estella and the 'other' life she led. While he was there he even taught 'Lupin' how to brew a few potions in the basement lab he spent much of his stay refurbishing to meet 'basic standards'.

Not long after her Uncle had left to return to the school and start his lesson plans for the year ahead, Estella and Remus discovered that Hermione and her family were back in town (normally they spent a great deal of their Summers abroad). They had bumped into the Grangers during one of their infrequent trips to the Muggle grocery store, and had not hesitated to invite Hermione and her Muggle parents to what they called a 'wizarding half-way house'; for their flat was neither purely Wizarding nor fully Muggle. Since Hermione could not do any magic outside of school until she reached the age of 17, the invitation into the house of a legally adult wizard was seen as an opportunity to show Dr and Dr Granger (they were both Dentists) what living in a Muggle world with Wizarding influences (or vice a versa) was like. It also gave Hermione's parents a chance to hear first hand from another Hogwarts student what the school their daughter went to was like and what their daughter was like as a student.

Dr and Dr Granger had a friend who ran the supermarket nearby, and they explained how Hermione would be working there a few days a week 'to stay in touch with the non-magical world'. Incidentally, the store was looking for another junior to take on over for the last few weeks of summer, and Estella was asked if she would like to try her hand at Muggle work - under the table and with her guardian's permission of course. So, a few days later, Hermione and Estella would work together for four hours in the morning three days a week for £2 an hour. Knocking off in time for lunch, they would usually buy a pretzel or something from a street vendor and eat in the park across the road, progressively making their way home via the ice-cream parlor.

Walking into the Olde English Ice Creamery a little after 2 one sunny day in August, their fingers still sticky from the cinnamon pretzels they had for lunch, Estella and Hermione took their favourite seats by the window.

"Hey Jimmy!" Hermione waved at the young man behind the counter. "The usual, thanks!"

Jimmy was a few years older than Hermione. He was a lanky, nerdy looking sixth year Muggle with an acne problem and braces. Hermione had attended the same London prep school as Jimmy, her mother had fitted the boy's braces and their fathers played tennis together. Luckily, a lot of children who went away to school in Hermione's parts went to single-sex schools and Jimmy's parents had assumed the 'exclusive school up north' that Hermione was accepted to was merely an all-girls institution.

"Here you are, ladies." Jimmy said, bringing over Estella and Hermione's usual order of double choc banana split sundae with pop rock sprinkles… which of course they shared because a) they were girls and couldn't wolf a whole one down on their own and b) on £2 an hour it would have eaten a lot of their income to indulge themselves almost everyday as they did.

"He's got a sweet deal working here!" Estella said through a mouthful of banana. "Pity about his face though, I could really clear that up for him if I could just use my wand."

"It didn't hit him until his last year of school." Hermione whispered. "All the girls had crushes on him before that. I wish they'd see that beauty isn't always skin deep… he's a nice guy."

"Ohhh, 'Mione's got a crush!" Estella jeered, sobering immediately at Hermione's death glare. "But still, it looks painful. Maybe if I bought Uncle Remus in here everyday he could slowly hex the spots off his face without him thinking it was instantaneous."

"You just want him to bring you in here everyday for ice cream, don't you?" Hermione chided knowingly.

"Yep." Estella said, grinning. "And why not? If I was at home with my uncle I'd just have to call a house elf and I'd have ice cream all I want!"

"I can't believe your Uncle would let you eat it!" Hermione said.

"He never expressly forbid it." Estella explained, licking the chocolate fudge off her fingers. "Guess he kind of empowered me to make the right decisions about what I ate. I learnt how much ice cream I could handle the hard way though."

"What happened?"

"I ate myself sick and when I told my Uncle how I'd gotten the stomach ache he'd simply marched me into his lab and laid out the ingredients for the Relieve-all potion and directed me to make my own remedy."

"But that's a third year potion! I haven't even studied it yet!" Hermione cried out, cringing when she realized how loud her voice was getting. "However did you manage?"

"I didn't." Estella smirked. "I threw up my ice cream into the cauldron half way through. It reacted with the powdered moonstone I had been simmering and filled the lab with purple smoke that smelt like bubblegum. He made me write a 6 inch essay on the potion instead about why one should make sure they have restorative potions on hand before gorging themselves silly. Since I couldn't make the potion I had to get better normally and write the essay. I tell you I learnt how to pace myself pretty well after that."

"You must have found the first year syllabus very boring then." Hermione said.

"It wasn't too bad. I'd never been paired with another student before, so it was interesting to watch how they did things differently." Estella shrugged. "And if I finished early I'd just get a head start on my homework. Next year should be interesting though – I won't be petrified for half of it!"

Hermione nodded in agreement. "I can't believe Professor Dumbledore cancelled our exams! How are we supposed to know if we learnt anything if there's no review?"

"Merlin, Hermione! I'm a Ravenclaw and yet even I was glad to get out of exams!" Estella rolled her eyes. Casting her eye back to Jimmy, who was scrubbing down the counter and singing along to the radio, her eyes lit up. "You know what, I think my Uncle may have left a jar of Bubotuber Pus downstairs in the basement. Did I tell you he set it up to be a 'proper' Potions lab during his stay?"

"No, I didn't know." Hermione said. "What's Bubotuber Pus got to do with Jimmy? Isn't that gooey yellow stuff that smells like petrol? I think Professor Sprout has some Bubotubers in greenhouse 3."

"It's greenhouse 4." Estella corrected. "And Bubotuber Pus is the active ingredient in Tugwood's Acne Mask, that's what!"

"Oh!" Hermione said, her face lighting up. However, her response was cut off by two frantic looking men in odd looking clothes thundered into the parlour. Well, to Estella and Hermione, robes were hardly abnormal, but since they were in the middle of a Muggle neighbourhood it looked quite bizarre.

"Estella! Hermione! There you are!" Remus called out in relief as he pulled Estella into a bone-crushing hug, apparently not caring when the chocolate Estella had all around her mouth rubbed off on his robes.

"Uncle Remus? Uncle Sev?" Estella asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Come Estella, there's no time for answers here." Her Uncle said quickly, pulling her to her feet whilst looking around nervously – as though he were scared they were being followed. "We must get back to the School."

"But it's not September first! You said I could go on the train!"

"Estella, listen to your Uncle and pack your things as soon as you get back to the flat, alright?" Remus said sternly, which was almost unheard of since he was always patient and understanding. "I'll see Hermione safely home and meet you there."

Estella looked from her Godfather to Hermione, to her Uncle – who had her in a vice-like grip and was moving her towards the door – with a look of extreme surprise on her face.

'What on earth is going on?' She thought to herself wildly.

"Wait, Uncle Sev! We haven't paid for the ice cream!" Estella cried out, alarmed.

Her Uncle responded by throwing a £20 note onto the counter at random and barking over his shoulder at Jimmy as he pushed Estella out the door. "Keep the change."

The last thing Estella saw was Jimmy pick up the £20 note and gawk openly at the gesture. The sundae the girls had shared had only cost £3.

"That boy really needs some of Tugwood's Acne Mask." Her Uncle said bemusedly in a half hearted attempt for levity as he pulled Estella into a alley behind the parlour to apparate them the three blocks back to the flat. "Hold tight to me."

Landing in the hallway of the place she had made herself at home in over the summer, Estella was astounded. Apparating with another person was a very tiring and dangerous stunt if not done effectively. Whatever had caused the two men in her life to fear so much for her wellbeing to come after her like that must be something pretty big if they didn't even have time to charm a portkey.

"Uncle Sev, what's going on?" Estella asked nervously.

"I'll tell you when your Godfather returns." Severus replied, trying to sound calm as he walked around the perimeter of the house, checking and re-checking the wards. "Just go upstairs and pack."

Seeing that this was not a time to argue, Estella ran upstairs and reduced into her trunk, the cyclone that her bedroom had become. Hearing that her Godfather had returned while she was in her room, Estella crept out onto the landing to better overhear the two men's increasingly loud voices.

"We should tell her everything." Her Godfather's diplomatic voice said. "It's time."

"She's not ready." Her Uncle snapped. "She deserves to enjoy the rest of her summer."

"Then let her stay here, Severus." Remus suggested. "You don't think this sudden evacuation will have her suspicious?"

"It's not safe here, Lupin!" Severus growled. "This will be the first place…"

"That may be so, Severus. But you've seen the wards here. They won't permit him entrance…"

"He'll be after her Lupin." Severus said worriedly. "The safest place for her is Hogwarts."

"Like it was the safest place for her when she almost got killed by that Basilisk?" Remus said. "Dumbledore consciously decided against telling the students what they were up against and giving them some idea of how to protect themselves. Do you really want to keep Estella in the dark if telling her will somehow prepare her?"

Estella could hear her Uncle exhale a sharp breath. She had to peel her ears to hear what he said next. "She shouldn't have to face this. He shouldn't have gotten out."

"We'll protect her, Severus. Together." Her Godfather vowed.

What did she need protecting from?

"So you've considered the position?" Her uncle asked, the tone in his voice suggesting there was a change in subject.

"Yes. I have accepted." Remus said. "Estella is not to know until the first day of term."

"Now who's keeping who in the dark?" Her Uncle leered.

"Oh I daresay we're not doing a very good job of keeping her in the dark, Severus." Her Godfather said with a lilt in his voice. "She's been listening from the top of the stairs for the past three minutes."

Estella swore under her breath and scrambled to her feet with a thud. Below her, the two men heard her sudden movements and looked at each other.

"Lupin you should have told me!" Severus hissed angrily. "Sometimes I swear you ought to have been sorted into Slytherin."

Remus smiled that irritatingly knowing smile.

"So, should I walk around with my eyes closed or did you intend to keep me in the dark figuratively?" Estella said as she barrelled into the room, trying to draw humour from the situation.

"Accio Walkman!" Remus pointed his wand and summoned Estella's walkman from the coffee table.

"Now, you will wear this and listen to it at full volume until I say you can take it off." Remus said firmly as he placed the headphones over her ears and turned it on. "Don't even try to remove it, I've just cast a sticking charm on the headphones."

"MERLIN REMUS IF I HAD MY WAND RIGHT NOW YOU'D BE THE ONE DANCING ON THE CEILING!" Estella shouted over the din of the music blaring in her ear, becoming increasingly frustrated as she found she couldn't press pause or stop or adjust the volume. Or change the god-awful song.

Severus, meanwhile, was looking at her curiously, somewhat amused at Remus' parenting techniques.

'_Well that's one way of stopping her listening in!'_ He smirked. _'And a whole lot less distressing than using a deafening charm.'_

"Forgive me, Lupin, for believing you let Estella run riot." Severus smirked at his werewolf accomplice. "Now I am convinced the hat got it wrong."

As the men continued discussing the issues at hand in low voices, Estella flopped back on the lounge, defeated. She tried lip reading for a while, but they seemed to be making an effort to mimic a ventriloquist because she couldn't make anything out. Instead, she decided to see if she could beat her Uncle's score on Dr Mario, making a point to turn up the TV really loud to emphasise her point and sing along to the music that was assaulting her ears. If she couldn't hear them speak, then why should they hear each other?

Her fun was ruined almost as fun as it began, however, when her Uncle – and she knew it was her Uncle – threw a silencio at her without even looking in her direction. An interesting little side effect of the spell that Estella knew her Uncle hadn't counted on happening turned out to be quite to Estella's benefit. The silencing spell had stopped the music in her walkman – she could hear again! Making sure to appear she was bopping along to phantom music in her ears as she hid her face behind a magazine, pretending to read, Estella took in what the two men were saying.

"…you realise I will have to maintain appearances once term begins." Estella could hear her Uncle say. "Too many people know who you are as it is."

"I understand, Severus." Remus replied. "You'll be sure to ensure Estella knows the terms?"

"Yes, it's all settled." Her Uncle nodded affirmatively. "We still have to resolve what we're going to tell her about this… latest development."

"I still think it's time." Remus maintained. "What if he somehow gets to her first?"

"Fine." Her Uncle said reluctantly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Now or when School starts?"

"Now, I think." Remus suggested, casting a look at Estella, who darted her eyes back down to the magazine quickly. "I don't think we'd last long with her persistence."

"Indeed." Severus nodded slightly. "I'll need a headache potion first."

"Of course, there's some downstairs where you left it." Remus said.

Severus rose from his chair and headed towards the kitchen, where the stairs to the basement lay. As he passed Estella he waved a lazy 'finite incantatem' at her, restoring the music and her ability to speak. Remus came over in his wake and indicated she could control the walkman.

"So, did you plan that?" He asked as he sat down next to Estella.

"Plan what?" Estella asked, feigning innocence. "Do you mind, I'm trying to read!"

Remus leant over and wordlessly righted the magazine so that it was being held the right way up. His amused amber eyes meeting the grey clouds of Estella's as they flew up in surprise, the patient werewolf smiled. "Well?"

"Oh!" Estella slapped her head. "You mean did I plan on forcing you to wedge headphones in my ear with a sticking charm so that I'd suffer from a serious case of tinnitus for the rest of the day, or did I plan on manipulating my Uncle into indirectly putting an end to my suffering?"

Remus smirked, shaking his head at his Goddaughter's ingenuity. "So what did you make of what you heard?"

"A whole lot of nothing." Estella grumbled, honestly. "How big is it?"

Patting her knee supportively, Remus let out a heavy breath. "Brace yourself, cub. It's big." He said. "Just don't forget that you're safe and protected and it won't be so bad, ok?"

"Alright." Estella said quietly, swallowing hard.

"OK, so cut to the chase. What's the big news?" She asked forwardly once her Uncle had re-entered the room and taken a seat.

"It will be all over the news, Severus." Remus said, after a few moments of awkward silence. "All over the school by the time term starts."

"What?" Estella asked uneasily, shifting her weight as she eyed her Uncle's suspiciously. "Just tell me!"

Severus took a deep breath. "Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban."

End Chapter: Hushed Discussions


	60. Escape From Azkaban

Disclaimer: Chapter one

Updated: Saturday 9th April 2005

**Chapter Sixty: Escape from Azkaban **

Sirius Black stared at the latest edition of The Daily Prophet that he had managed to scrounge off of a visiting Ministry official. Running his hands over the page reverently, the emaciated prisoner savoured the first piece of civilisation he had encountered in what felt like years – he had lost count. Eyes that had not had any meaningful sort of stimulation, lit up as they registered the long-forgotten principles of the written word.

Noting the date – August 11 1993 – Sirius sighed. His little girl would be starting Hogwarts in September. Or maybe she was a second year already, he wasn't quite sure how long after September students could turn 11 and be accepted into Hogwarts when they were still 10. His mind was pretty much mush when it came to such complex matters these days. Twelve years barely grasping hold on your sanity in a place like Azkaban tended to have such a weathering effect on the psyche.

Tearing his mind away from the painful subject of his daughter, Sirius occupied himself by reading the front page feature about a holiday a family of redheads had won to Egypt. Seeing the name 'Weasley' associated with a family of redheads, the wheels began turning in Sirius' mind. An Arthur Weasley was a distant cousin of his and had been a promising new member of the Ministry during the war. From his blotchy memory, Sirius could muster that he'd married a Prewett and had a young family of boys – none of them yet at Hogwarts age - at the last he'd heard.

Studying the photo of the family closely, Sirius was cheered to realise that it was indeed the same Arthur Weasley in the photo and that he and his wife had apparently been very busy.

"Merlin, they've got a whole Quidditch team of boys!" He muttered to himself. Gazing at the family picture longingly, Sirius' mind drifted back to a time where he and his best friend James had aspired to creating whole Quidditch teams of their own with their beloved wives. Frowning at the smiling, waving faces, he shed a bitter tear. The one child he and James had respectively been blessed to bring into the world had to go through their lives alone as orphans.

_'Life's never fair.'_ A voice in his head sounded, remarkably like his own. The dim memory of saying those harsh words to his Brother-in-law as the sullen man sulked about losing his sister to a marriage he didn't approve of came to mind.

About to throw the newspaper aside in sudden disgust – he had, after all, almost caught himself feeling sorry for his snivelling brother-in-law – Sirius stopped in his tracks as something caught his eye.

A rat.

A rat on the youngest boy's shoulder. A rat on the shoulder of a boy who was by his calculations in his Godson's year. A rat that looked resoundingly familiar.

"Pettigrew!" Sirius spat, seeing red – and not just the red on the Weasley's heads. Leaping to his feet, only to wince in pain as his head hit the low ceiling and his joints cracked in protest of the sudden movement.

"He's at Hogwarts! He's at Hogwarts!"

He didn't know how he got past the Dementors, let alone how he had the strength to dog-paddle all the way back to the mainland, but he was finally out. No more self-pitying, self-loathing punishment for convincing James to change secret keepers then being fool enough to leave his family and Harry to go after that rat… this was bigger than any guilt he felt. Estella and Harry were under threat, and he was the only person who knew of the danger.

It was time to set the record straight.

Dawn was breaking over the Thames by the time Sirius made it to London in his animagus form. Instinctively, the first thing he wanted to do go to his house and see if Remus was there. Stationing himself behind a privet hedge that framed the park across the road from his old house, Sirius sat and waited… keeping his scent on the downwind as a precaution.

Shortly after nine, the door to his flat opened. Sirius recognised his sandy-haired friend immediately, but his breath caught when he saw who Remus was with.

Estella.

Whining yearningly, Sirius whimpered sadly as he saw his not-so-baby girl hug Remus goodbye and head off down the road, Remus waving and watching after her until she had rounded the corner. No sooner had Remus returned inside, was Sirius running… running with energy he didn't even realise he had… to pick up his daughter's scent from where he had last seen her round the corner.

Catching up with the child rather quickly, he lingered behind; happy to simply be near her. It was definitely his baby… the child had Selina's delicate bone structure and his hair and eyes; not to mention a comforting blend of both his and Selina's scents. Even if he wasn't in his animagus form, Sirius knew he'd know his own child anywhere.

Suddenly, the said child in front of him started dancing down the street, humming softly. Being in his animagus form, his sensitive ears picked up the sound of music coming from a walkman she had playing in her ear. If a dog could smirk, then Padfoot was smirking.

"…It's alive, afraid, a lie, a sin

It's magic, it's tragic, it's a loss, it's a win

It's dark, it's moist, it's a bitter pain

It's sad it happened and it's a shame

You want it all but you can't have it

It's in your face but you can't grab it…" (1)

Cold shivers ran down Sirius' spine. The words of the song Estella was bopping along to were so reminiscent of what he was feeling at that time. He had never wanted to hold something in his arms so badly than he did at that precise moment. Estella was just how he imagined her, and so much more. He could just tell. So wrapped up in his thoughts was he, that he didn't notice when another song started to play.

"You picked me up when I was down with nothing

Ga-ave me something I can face the world with that

You showed me just enough to fuel my fire

My-y-y-y desire never want to live without it

Both of us need something like we had before

We can't keep at it like this anymore…" (2)

Sirius smiled inwardly. The songs Estella was playing were evidently released since he had been incarcerated, but it was obvious someone had been positively influenced by the music collection he, Selina and Remus had amassed at the house.

Selina.

A wave of grief washed over him like a rush of water, sucking the air out of his lungs. Merlin how he missed her… especially now, watching their daughter and seeing what she had become. Selina should have been there to see this. Sirius should have been there – in his human form.

_'Life's never fair'_ The voice leered at him. Karma could be a real pain the nether-regions.

"Here you go, dog." A child's voice roused him from his thoughts. He almost lost control of his animagus form in shock when he saw Estella leaning down looking at him, her headphones around her neck. They were standing outside a grocery store, his daughter having somehow darted inside and bought him a really long sausage without him realising it; which she was now waving under his nose invitingly.

He was wrong before, now he truly knew what it meant to want to do something you couldn't. It took every ounce of his restraint to hold himself back from transforming back into his human form and never letting her go again.

When did Estella realise he was following her? Taking the sausage hungrily, Sirius licked her hand in appreciation. Estella patted his head playfully, giggling. "If you go around the back, Lou will put out some water and some real food. Though I wouldn't loiter too long, I think he's gonna call the pound."

Sirius looked at his child, amazed at her compassion. Swallowing the last of the sausage – possibly the first bit of protein he had ingested in almost 12 years – and trotted off down the alley towards the back of the store where, sure enough a bowl of clean water and a plate with left over roast beef – complete with vegetables and two-day-old Yorkshire pudding and gravy – awaited him.

After taking a long thirsty drink from the bowl and inhaling the left over Sunday roast, Sirius contentedly padded to a vacant lot across the road from the store to watch Estella from. From his slightly elevated vantage point, he could see his daughter inside the store, wearing an apron as she retrieved stock from the shelves for the elderly and packed their bags. Another girl, around about the same age, worked alongside her. Upon closer inspection, Sirius could have sworn he saw a wand tip sticking out of the back pocket of the older girl's jeans.

_'A friend from school maybe?'_

The store did not get a lot of business at that time of day, and so the girls were frequently alone on the floor, left to turn up the radio and dance around with their Muggle brooms. Moving back across the street so he could listen through the open doors of the store, Sirius basked in the carefree innocence of the moment.

A wicked guitar lick started playing over the crackly radio. His daughter squealed excitedly and ran to turn up the volume.

"Come on Hermione… just like we did at Reading!"

The other girl, Hermione, winced at the volume and peered at the manager's door anxiously as she leant against her broom. "We're supposed to be working!"

"We can sweep and mosh at the same time!" Estella urged, tugging at Hermione. "Loosen up a little! You had a good time at Reading."

"Reading was a cultural experience." Hermione said primly. "A grocery store is not the time and place…"

She was cut off, however by Estella flipping the broom on its head as though it were a microphone stand and singing into the bristles.

"…You got to breathe and have some fun

Though I'm not paid I play this game

And I won't stop until I'm done

But what I really want to know is

Are you gonna go my way?… (3)

C'mon 'Mione! I'd hate to have to hex you to sing 'Westend Girls' to all the Slytherins on my birthday!"

Incidentally, the next song that came on the radio was 'Westend Girls', by current pop sensation boy-group East 17.

"How do you do that?" Hermione asked, shaking her head in disbelief.

Estella tapped her nose twice. "Elementary my dear Watson." She said, doing a Sherlock Holmes impersonation. "Ugh, don't know how you like this stuff."

"Turn it down, we have a customer." Hermione hissed, unfazed by Estella's enthusiasm.

* * *

The rest of the morning passed pretty much the same way for Sirius as he returned to the vacant lot to watch the girls. He made sure to keep his distance this time as he followed the girls leaving work, scavenging for the left over pretzel Estella dropped on the grass 'for the birds' and watching them hungrily as they dug into a mouth watering ice cream. For some reason he was actually surprised to see Severus and Remus apparate into the alley beside the parlour and spirit Estella and her friend away. 

News of his escape had broken.

That was why, the next day when Aurors were disguised to take Hermione and Estella's place at their work in a effort to trap Sirius, the intuitive animagus did not take the bait. He couldn't even if he wanted to, for no sooner had Severus disappeared with his daughter was he already on his way to Surrey to check on Harry.

(1) _Epic _by Faith No More

(2) _Lay Down Your Guns _by Jimmy Barnes

(3) _Are You Gonna Go My Way _by Lenny Kravitz

End Chapter: Escape From Azkaban


	61. Finding Out

Disclaimer: Chapter one

Updated: Saturday 9th April

**Chapter Sixty One: Finding Out**

All blood had drained from Estella's face, and she felt dizzy. Her Uncle and Godfather had not just explained to her that her father had escaped, but that he had been imprisoned for murdering a 'street full' of Muggles and betraying Harry's parents.

"But he was their _friend_!" She cried. "H-how? W-w-why? Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Your Uncle and I didn't think you were ready to understand." Remus said, wrapping his arm around the broken child as she sat next to him on the lounge. "Merlin, I still don't understand it myself."

"T-t-t-hey were your friends." She stated, burying her head in Remus' chest, he shoulders shaking with her sobs.

"Yes." Remus said, swallowing back his own lump of emotion.

Estella pulled back from Remus' embrace. "Does Harry know?"

Severus took a deep breath from his place leaning against the wall. "I don't believe he even knows your father was his Godfather."

"He… what?" Estella's jaw dropped. "I think I'm going to be ill."

"Shhh, cub." Remus cooed, rubbing soothing circles on her back and pushing her forward gently. "Lean forward and put your head between your knees. That's it… now, deep breaths, Estella. Severus?"

"I'll fetch a calming draught." He responded, unfolding his arms and pushing off from the wall, bound for the Kitchen.

"He's going to hate me." Estella said mournfully as she leant back in her chair, the worst of her queasiness over. "I don't even know how you can love me like you do."

Remus reeled back in shock. "Why wouldn't I think the world of you, Missy? Because you think I would hold you accountable? Merlin no! Never!" Remus cupped Estella's face in his hands to force her to look at him. "Sweetheart, I love you with all my heart. You are my life. Don't you dare doubt it!"

From out in the hall, Severus sighed. How he wished he could carry his emotions on his sleeve like that without the risk of exposing his vulnerabilities to an unseen enemy. He re-entered the room just as Remus was pulling Estella in for another embrace.

"But I don't understand why, Uncle Remus! If Uncle Sev can hate Harry for something James Potter did, then surely Harry will hate me and you should too for what he did!"

Remus shot Severus a look as the man re-entered the room .

"Contrary to your impression, I do not _hate _Potter. I dislike what he stands for and detest that he is wasting his potential, but I would not wish him harm." Severus admitted, swallowing his pride. "Besides, it would seem very suspicious for the children of families who would have soon as seen _the boy die _that night and the Dark Lord still in power if I were to openly encourage the boy to achieve or be anything but a unfair critic towards him."

"Life isn't fair." Estella confirmed his sentiments, sniffing loudly. "Couldn't you at least tell Harry your intentions?"

"It would not be safe to compromise my…"

"Fine." Estella said, rubbing her forehead. "You didn't happen to bring any headache potion up with you?"

"Here." Severus said, smirking. "Drink. Don't concern yourself with Potter. If he holds you accountable for the sins of your father then he isn't worth your time."

Estella and Remus exchanged a incredulous look, gaping at Severus' profound observation that was in direct contradiction to his own methodology.

Shortly thereafter, Estella and Severus returned to the school, with Remus promising to have a surprise for her when he saw her off at the Platform (which she _would _be port-keying to this year). The last two weeks of Summer she then spent in the dungeon quarters her Uncle called home, brewing potions and reviewing the set texts for the term ahead.

"At least it looks like we're getting a decent DADA teacher this year!" Estella exclaimed over dinner one night as she reluctantly put down the textbook to eat. Ever since the escape and Estella's subsequent return to the school, she had felt the scrutinising looks of pity on her everywhere she went; and so she and Severus had taken to having their meals in the comfort of their private quarters.

Severus looked up from his food at what she said, an unreadable expression on his face. "Are you taking your trunk with you on the train or should I have Lena deliver it to your dorm in the morning?"

"Normally, I'd say I want to be like every other student and lug the bloody thing to the station myself." She said, ignoring her Uncle's warning glare at the use of language. "But I think I might just send it up to the dorms in the morning. It might be… safer… that way?"

"Indeed." Severus said knowingly, a quirk in his lips. "Though I daresay you will be in quite safe company on the train."

Sure enough, the next morning when she arrived at Kings Cross station her Godfather was there waiting for her.

"Rough night?" Estella asked cryptically. The night before was a full moon. "Thanks for coming though; not that saying goodbye is much fun."

To Estella's surprise, her Uncle smiled. "I'm sure we don't have to say goodbye just yet." He said, his eyes twinkling. "Why don't I help you find a seat on the train?"

"You can do that?" Estella asked, surprised.

Remus nodded, his smile widening. "If you have a TICKET!" He said, waving his ticket under her nose.

"What?" Estella asked, confused. "Are you catching the train to be my bodyguard or something? I didn't think…"

"Your Uncle tells me the assigned textbooks for Defence Against The Dark Arts this year are to your liking this year." He said, completely off topic, but still smiling like mad as he waited anxiously for the pieces to fall into place.

"Yeah, they're brilliant…" Estella gushed, stopping mid-sentence when it all began to click in her mind. "REMUS!"

"ESTELLA?"

"…Are you meaning to tell me that you are teaching this year?" Estella asked, holding her breath. Remus nodded. "Yes? Yes! Yes!" She squealed, hugging him tightly. "This is by far the best news I've heard all month!"

"Estella, it's the _first of the month_!" Remus jibed playfully, rolling his eyes.

* * *

As he sat in his office perusing over the class notes he had prepared for the semester ahead, Severus quickly found that his mind was in a different place. He was fixated on the house of his sister. Estella had been so at home there. Seeing her at ease within the walls his sister had decorated, cocooned in her bed every night surrounded by the loving environment she had created, absconded in the library, emersed in a book that was once one of Selina's favourites; Severus couldn't help but feel effected. This is what his niece's life would have been like had his sister not passed… if Black was not a convicted criminal. She would have grown within those walls, and if Selina had had two words to say about it, he again would have been a visitor during the Summer months, proprietor of the makeshift laboratory and in his brother-in-law's tolerance, a mark of the love the couple shared.

If only Selina hadn't died.

_Flashback_

_Severus had the house to himself. Estella and her Godfather had gone to the Muggle Cinema – something Severus had no interest in. With no potions left to brew, Severus found himself wandering around the house, drawing out the lingering presence of his sister. He could tell immediately what had been her influence, and what had been the influence of her husband or later, permanent house guest. As he meandered through the rooms he silently mourned. One thing that was amiss, however, was that his sister's beloved piano was nowhere to be found._

_Finding himself in the attic, Severus began to look. The room appeared as though no one had been up there for some time. There were signs of recent activity around some of the boxes, but no one had actually used the room. It was while he was sifting through some of his sister's things in a chest by the wall that he heard her._

_"Severus?" A voice hitched, slightly muffled. "Good Merlin is that you?"_

_"Selina?" Severus dropped the book he had been flipping through in shock. Immediately discerning the location of the sound with his impeccable hearing, the potions master moved aside the boxes and uncovered the sheet that was concealing his sister's portrait._

_"What happened to you?" Selina gasped, taking in her brother's harsh features._

_"Life happened." Severus said quietly, the mask he was so accustomed to wearing slowly slipping. "I got old."_

_"How's my baby?" His sister asked sadly. "Thank you for taking care of her."_

_"Estella?" Severus clarified. "Wait a moment, how do you…"_

_"She… Remus… a few years ago now… I'm not sure." Selina's voice came in broken fragments as she struggled with her grieving emotions. "Oh these darn pregnancy hormones! I should never have gotten painted like this! I'm a complete train wreck…"_

_"I think you look beautiful." Severus said reverently. "I apologise for not…"_

_"Hush, Sev, I know you had a job to do." Selina assured him. "You're there for my baby now and that means so much more."_

_Severus bowed his head in a mix of relief, guilt and sadness. All those years he had been carrying the burden of believing that his sister had been 'turned' by Black and had thought ill of him for his absence during the majority of her pregnancy, it was a foreign feeling to feel that weight lifted… even if it was by just a portrait._

_"Where is that errant husband of yours anyway?" Severus asked, eying the empty space next to Selina._

_"Sirius? I don't know, he's probably torturing a portrait of his younger self somewhere or reliving James and Lily's wedding in the portrait at the manor." Selina said, despondently. "He's been distant and reclusive ever since Remus told him he was in Azkaban. I still can't fathom it… is it really true?"_

_Swallowing hard, Severus looked his sister in the eye – compassionate, loving, pleading eyes – and found he couldn't lie._

_"Sirius is in Azkaban." Severus said guiltily. "Potter had changed Secret Keepers at the last moment; switching from Black to Pettigrew at the eleventh hour. Not enough people knew…"_

_Selina gasped. "Peter betrayed James and Lily?" She sobbed._

_"He was initiated as a Death Eater several months previously." Severus said regrettably. "I couldn't find a way of telling you without blowing my cover… and at that stage Dumbledore was stressing the importance of my espionage…"_

_"You knew and you didn't tell James?" Selina scowled, her emotions changing like the tide on account of her pregnant state._

_"Let me finish." Severus murmured. "If I thought for the life of me the Potters would chose someone other than Black as Secret Keeper I bloody well would have found a way, damn it!"_

_He ran a shaking hand through his hair irritably, having gone through his misguided actions many times in his mind; it didn't compare with coming clean with the visage of his dead sister. "When I found out that Peter knew their location and that Voldemort was going to attack, of course I tried to warn them." He said bitterly. "It just happened that I was arrested by Aurors under suspicion of being a dark wizard before getting to them." Selina gasped. "By the time I was taken to an interrogation room, it was too late. The sadistic pigs viewed my 'useless' knowledge of the attack as an admission of guilt and sent me off to Azkaban."_

_"Oh Severus!" Selina cried, devastated at what the respective men in her family had to face. "However did you get out?"_

_"Dumbledore." Severus said simply, not too sure of the judicial processes that secured his release himself._

_"What of Sirius?" Selina asked quietly after a few moments silence._

_"He went after Pettigrew." Severus paused, trying to think of the best way to approach the issue without compromising his integrity. It gnawed at him that in the presence of his sister he actually felt ashamed at his calculated sabotage of Sirius' defence. "Cornered him in a Muggle street. A duel ensured, resulting in a explosion that killed 13 Muggles and all but destroyed any trace of Pettigrew's body. All they found was his finger."_

_Selina furrowed her brow, mulling over the facts. "I know Sirius can be rash…" She frowned. "But I don't believe he'd be so careless."_

_"You think Peter killed himself to frame…"_

_"No." Selina said darkly. "I will bet my child's life that the son-of-a-whore is still alive."_

_Severus reeled. "Even so," he said in measured tones. "Short of finding him, there's no evidence that would clear Black of killing those Muggles."_

_"What about the trial? Did they not use veritaserum? What about Priori Incantatem on his wand?"_

_"There was no trial." Severus said quietly, mentally counting the seconds in his head until his sister's reaction._

_"WHAT?" Selina shouted. "Could you not have fought for one? For my child's sake?"_

_"Selina… I was in Azkaban for nearly five months." Severus said exasperatedly. "By the time I got out it was too late… besides, I had only just barely escaped a life sentence myself. I would have had no credibility."_

_"I suppose you're right." Selina admitted, grudgingly. "But what of Estella? What happened to her… while you were…"_

_"She was taken care of." Severus said carefully. "It's in the past now by any means."_

_"Severus!" Selina glared at him. "I need to know. I deserve to know. Remus didn't tell us nearly enough. Goddamn it Severus I may be a portrait but I'm still her mother."_

_"Azkaban Asylum." Severus whispered, looking straight into his sister's eyes with burning intensity._

_Selina baulked, tears cascading down her face as she stroked her swollen belly protectively. "My poor baby…" She sobbed. "We had it all planned, Severus! Everything! Her bedroom, clothes, toys… we even fought in advance over who was going to hold her the most and attend to her night feeds! She didn't deserve to …not see and feel how much we love her… Merlin Severus I can still feel her kicking inside me. I feel like she's with me always and yet I know I'm missing out on so much."_

_Sure enough, if Severus looked closely he could see the material that was pulled tightly over his sister's belly ripple and move slightly. Reaching out to touch the canvas, brushing the raised oil brushstrokes with the feather touch of his fingers, Severus closed his eyes and tried to imagine he was back in time 12 years._

_"Tell me about her, Severus." Selina voice cut into the thick atmosphere like a_

_cool breeze lifting a fog. "What is she like?"_

_Severus spent most of the afternoon thereafter telling his sister about Estella's childhood with him and answering as many questions as he could._

_"The piano?" Selina laughed as their conversation wound down to a close. "Why I shrunk it and put it in the Doll's house. It's over there behind that pathetic excuse for a duelling platform. I wanted to put the Doll's House in the nursery straight away, but Sirius was concerned about all the small pieces. Like our baby would have been left alone long enough for the pieces to become a choking hazard! I suppose she's too old for it now."_

_"I think, with Estella, she was always 'too old' for children's games." Severus said, smirking._

_"Reminds me of a brother I once knew." Selina retorted, watching after her only brother as he uncovered the Doll's house and extracted the shrunken piano. "What do you want with it anyway?"_

_"I thought if I gave Estella lessons, it would give her a legitimate excuse to visit during the term." Severus said wistfully. "It's so strange having her stay in the dorms during the year and then make her home here over the Summer."_

_"Thank you for letting Remus be such an important part of her life." Selina said suddenly. "I'm glad you're not trying to do it on your own. Though I still think you're mad for not getting married and giving Estella little brothers and sisters; well, cousins really."_

_"There are only three women in this world that could ever tolerate me." Severus said, his lips fighting back a grin. "You, Mother and Estella."_

_Selina laughed. "Good luck with the lessons then!" She said, shooing him off. "Now go! Don't think I haven't noticed that you've skipped a meal to be here."_

_Severus said his goodbyes with his heart a whole lot lighter. Setting the shiny black baby grand up in the Library, his face back in its normal impassive mask, he found he couldn't resist the temptation. After having not played a note in almost fifteen years, the keys before him were now beckoning to him… aching with the undying need to create. As he flipped the tail of his robes over the cool leather bench and sat down poised to play, Severus was quick to discover that playing the piano was not unlike riding a broomstick – you never forgot. His fingers running experimentally over the keys, conditioned memories of symphonies and sonatas flooded his consciousness, causing his fingers to move on their own accord. Before he knew it, he was halfway through Bach's Goldberg Variations, and he was enjoying himself immensely. He had long forgotten the seductive allure of creation, the sensuous feel of vibration and sound… of pounding his emotions out on the keys as his favourite pieces moved in waves of crescendos, giving his heart song._

_"Wow." A voice said softly from behind him. It was Estella. "That was amazing! I'd heard you played, but I didn't know anyone could play like that!"_

_"Where's your Godfather?" Severus asked, feeling out of his element as his only audience in the past had been his instructor or his sister._

_"He had to go pick up some things from the store. I let myself in." Estella said distractedly as she took in the majestic form of the piano and sat next to him on the bench. "Can you play something else for me?"_

_Severus nodded hesitantly. "What was that movie you saw today? The one with the big ugly dog?"_

_"Beethoven." Estella said. "It was the dog's name."_

_"Such a mockery to a great man." Severus shook his head, snorting indignantly. "Most historical composers were Wizards you know, that's the only way their work has managed to last the centuries in both our worlds."_

_"Oh." Estella said. "Do you know any Beethoven?"_

_"Does a potion master work with cauldrons?" He retorted, his voice thick with sarcasm. "Watch and learn, my young apprentice."_

_Estella rolled her eyes in response, giving him a knowing look. Severus was loath to admit it, but he really enjoyed those Star Wars movies that his niece had made him sit through in what was a day long 'movie marathon'. Wracking his brain for a piece of Beethoven he could showcase to his niece, he couldn't help but smirk when he settled on a piece._

_"In honour of tonight's full moon." He drawled, wishing for the first time that Lupin was actually in the room, as he started playing the mournful opening notes. "This is Beethoven's 14th Sonata, which people often refer to as Moonlight Sonata."_

_End Flashback_

Estella had taken to the piano like a snitch to flight. With her sharp mind, graceful posture and long fingers she had the dexterity and cultivation to pick up on things very quickly. She was attentively observant and had an extremely good ear for experimenting and playing by example, thus making the concept of sheet reading and note association a simple process. This, combined with the precise coordination she had picked up through years of potion making, Severus was amazed at the speed in which she was progressing.

The piano now sat in an alcove in the living room of his quarters. In the time Estella had been confined to the four dungeon walls she had thrown herself into learning the fundamentals; to try and take her mind off recent events he was certain. When magical children learnt piano it was different to the more laborious methods employed by Muggle instructors. Whilst they learnt the concept of playing from sheet music the same way, many Wizarding children learnt their first pieces by having their hands charmed to play the notes on their own accord. The willing student would have to want to learn, and the instructor would have to be intimately familiar with each and every bar of the piece of music in question in order to implant the necessary actions in the unskilled pupil's hands. The teacher would have to cast the charm each time the song was to be played until the student's subconscious absorbed the magical suggestion and playing the piece became second nature to them.

Whilst it in theory it was thus easy for a family to have their child tutored magically with each and every piece of music known to man, it was more rewarding to ensure the student the independence and sense of accomplishment that came from turning notes on paper into glorious music. Students were initially impregnated with the preceding pianist's skills to give them a taste of what they could be capable of and train the fingers and mind in the art of coordination, timing and sheet reading (for as the hands mastered the piece, the student would learn to follow the notes they were playing on paper).

The Snape family itself was blessed for its musical prowess. With their delicate bone structure of long fingers, mental cunning and occlumency predisposition, its descendents had the correct physical and psychological disposition to be avid students and effective teachers. Severus and Selina, for example, had been taught by their father's sister. Severus was secretly glad that Estella had developed such a passion for piano too, because it meant she would come to his chambers on her own accord; and he wouldn't have to threaten her with detentions any longer.

* * *

The Sorting Ceremony was a glum affair for Estella. Still reeling from the adverse effects of the Dementors on the train, she felt particularly vulnerable to the furious whisperings and wary looks the students were giving her. Her Godfather had been asleep in the carriage as she sat with Harry, Ron and Hermione; as she had wanted him to rest his exhausted body and recover from the Full Moon in time for the feast.

When the Dementor had made its icy approach, fear gripped Estella's heart. Cold, dark nothingness haunted her mind as she found she couldn't move, or scream or get away from the heavily breathing beast that stalked her. Beyond the wolf's breathing and the soft patter of his feet, she could also hear a woman crying. The smell of blood filled her nostrils more intensely as the woman's cries ceased, leaving Estella alone in the cold dark place again, unable to move before the cycle repeated itself.

After Remus had woken with a start, sending the Dementor away with the jet of white light from his wand; he had revived both she and Harry and given them chocolate; making her promise that she would speak to either himself or her uncle if she had trouble coming to terms with the repressed memories the Dementor drew out in her. From what her Uncle told her about how her mother had died and where she had gone for the first few months of her life afterwards, Estella assumed that the blur of memories were all interconnected. From her mother's death to the infantile sense of abandonment she felt as she lay stunned and neglected in the dark Asylum, to the fear she felt when Moony had her cornered in the darkness of the shrieking shack, it was no wonder she was so afraid of the dark. Between herself and Harry, who had demons of his own, the Dementor must have been having a field day.

She couldn't believe her father was still of mind enough to escape after twelve years of such exposure. She had heard and overheard countless times from excited whisperings that rushed throughout the school like a brush fire, that no one had ever escaped from Azkaban before. Everyone was convinced her father was a cold blooded killer who was strong and resilient enough to not only endure the Dementors, but outsmart them. In all, people – including Estella - were scared of what the fugitive might be capable of next; and they looked to her with a mix of pity, awe and wariness.

_'At least,_' she thought sullenly, catching Harry's eye at the Gryffindor table, _'I know what Harry felt like last year_.'

As she picked at her food half-heartedly, she stole a glance at her Uncle and Godfather at the head table, where they were occasionally looking over at her curiously.

_'Well, at least Remus is here._' She resolved, cheering up a bit. '_Class with him will be fun._'

"Hey, it's wicked that your Godfather is teaching this year!" Elsie gushed, mirroring her thoughts. "Is he as good a teacher as he is good looking?"

Spitting out her pumpkin juice in shock, Estella squirmed uncomfortably in her chair at the association and looked pointedly at her Godfather, who must have guessed by her face what her friends were crooning about for he blushed shyly and looked away.

"Does he tutor after classes?" Allegra winked suggestively.

"Don't listen to 'em 'Stell." Reginald said grinning lopsidedly as he looked up from his treacle tart. "I'm sure your Godfather won't leave you for a student; isn't that right John?"

Estella growled and threw her dinner roll at the incorrigible boy across from her. "That is so disgusting." She admonished. "I don't think of him that way at all! He's practically family!"

"Oh come on!" Luna cut in. "Surely you must have noticed he's better looking than the run of the mill dunces everyone else gets stuck with for family! Don't tell me you never once compared his looks to your Uncle's! Why, that Godfather of yours could model for my father's magazine, he could make a lot of money on the runway."

Her mind instantly drawn to the fuzzy memory of her Godfather's scarred torso and particularly ugly looking feet, she opened her mouth without thinking. "Yeah, but you haven't seen him naked." She scoffed, wishing the world would open up and swallow her whole when she realised what she had just said.

The girl's jaws dropped. "_Oh_… oh my _God_!" They tittered excitedly. "When did you? No, don't answer that… yes do… no… is there a photo?"

Estella slumped in her chair, feeling increasingly uncomfortable. She'd never thought anything of her Godfather going about the house on hot days in nothing but a pair of shorts, but now she was blushing furiously.

_Had she been checking him out?_

As she shook the absurdity of that depravity from her head, her mind dimly aware of the giggling hysterics of her girl friends and teasing looks on the guys faces, Estella was relieved their antics were taking her mind off the wary glances the rest of the student body were giving her because of her father's escape. Still, it was going to be a very long year.

End Chapter: Finding Out

Next Chapter: Confiding in Buckbeak

Due: Tuesday


	62. Confiding in Buckbeak

Disclaimer: Chapter one

Updated: Monday 11th April 2005

**Chapter Sixty Two: Confiding in Buckbeak **

The first few weeks of school flew with little to write home about. Then again, her entire family was at the School so she didn't even have to write to anyone. Weighed under by the constant stares and finger-pointing she had been subjected to, Estella had become withdrawn from her friends, spending a lot of time in her Uncle's quarters immersing herself in music, or conversely, having a spot of tea with her Godfather.

"Where are your friends these days, Estella?" Remus asked with concern one afternoon shortly after term had began.

"Oh they're around." Estella answered flippantly, concentrating on her tea cup. "I see them in the dorms and at mealtimes and in classes; and three times a week we have study group in the library…"

"Yes, but what about socially?" Remus needled, worried about his Goddaughter's increasingly reclusive state. "Why don't you see if you can invite them down to the dungeons with you to see you play, or bring them here for tea… they're quite welcome, you know."

"What, and have them swooning over you for the next week?" Estella snorted, her old familiar sense of humour returning, "I think not."

Remus' lips twitched. "I could give them private lessons…" He said playfully, trying to draw Estella out of her funk.

Estella choked and spat her tea everywhere whilst Remus chuckled warmly, savouring the rare glimpse he got of the carefree child he once knew. "Seriously though…" Remus' voice trailed off as he cringed with the inference. "You haven't been quite yourself since the Dementors… care to talk about it?"

Estella sighed, twirling her empty teacup around on its saucer nervously as she contemplated her response. "There's nothing to say." She said shortly. "You know better than anyone about things that happened in the past."

"I'm sorry." Remus said, lowering his head as his eyes shone with unshed tears. "I did that to you."

"No. You didn't do anything!" Estella said firmly. "OK so I won't deny certain elements of that night featured in the Dementor's attack; but it was hardly the thing that disturbed me the most."

"What do you mean by that?" Remus said, raising his head.

"I didn't fear the wolf, Remus, because I knew I had already overcome it." She said softly. "What terrified me more when the Dementors came was that if anything were to happen to you or to Uncle Sev I might have to go back… there."

"Back where?" Remus asked a little too quickly. "Oh."

"It was horrible, Remus." Estella whispered, her voice hoarse. "I didn't remember specifics, but it was so cold… I was so alone… and so defenceless! I couldn't move, or scream or call for help! I couldn't go back there, Uncle Remus. I just couldn't."

Remus pulled the trembling child into a hug. "I'm so sorry cub, that you had to go there at all. It's all my fault." He said brokenly. "If I wasn't cursed…"

Estella pulled away and gripped her Godfather's face fiercely in her hands. "Don't. Ever. Think. That!" She said angrily, her expressive eyes boring into his pleadingly. "No one ever blamed you. You mustn't blame yourself. Have you been carrying this with you all my life? Oh Uncle Remus you stupid, stupid Gryffindor!"

Laughing to spite himself, Remus was flooded with an inexplicable sense of relief. He had long since stopped obsessing about his inabilities to properly care for Estella when she'd needed him, but hearing the right words from the girl finally set him free to accept things and move on.

"Thank you, Cub." He whispered reverently into the child's hair. "Don't ever stop."

"Stop what?" Estella asked, peering up at her Godfather quizzically as she leant into the crook of his shoulder.

"Amazing me." He said seriously before grinning mischievously. "My, whatever would your friends think if they'd walk in and see us like this?"

"Argh that's so depraved, Uncle Remus!" Estella shrieked, pulling away from her teasing Godfather to grab a cushion from the lounge to hit him with. "And there I thought you didn't want to scar me for life!"

* * *

The talk with Remus had cleared Estella's mind immensely, but it hadn't fully absolved her of the fear and insecurities of her father's imminent appearance in her life. Even though her Uncle and Godfather – and just about every adult she had come across - had taken it upon themselves to reassure her incessantly that she was safe and that he couldn't get to her, somewhere, deep down, she just knew that there would be no keeping the man who was her sire away from her now he was free. Dementors may or may not be stationed at all the entry points to the school, but Merlin, if he had eluded them in getting out of a maximum security prison, that was on an island for pity's sake, then getting past them at some point along Hogwarts' extensive boundary lines would be child's play. 

It was conversely ludicrous then, for Estella to frequently find herself wandering the extensive grounds of the school alone. Though she was sure if her Uncle had known about it he would have gone spare, the way she looked at it, she wasn't breaking any school rules. They may have implied that she be watchful and travel in groups, but no one specifically said she had to. As she sat under the shade of the great Oak tree, throwing stones in the lake, Estella supposed she had a self-destructive side. The thought of encountering her father both terrified and thrilled her. She was terrified because of what he had done, and because of the unknown fate she would face in his presence; and yet irrespective of her fear she found herself almost wishing it upon herself so that the curiosity that stemmed to question her very identity could finally be satisfied.

It wasn't as though she was actively seeking danger, that she was purposefully prowling the grounds alone in search of any sign of him; she just liked spending time alone. Despite the talk with Remus which had offloaded a lot of her peripheral thoughts, she still had a lot of stuff to work through. Since the talk she had been a bit more sociable with her friends, and they had just enjoyed a picnic lunch out by the lake together. With their tummies satisfied on the sumptuous feast, her friends had opted to head indoors for the purposes of playing chess and studying, but Estella had already completed her work and wanted to enjoy the last of the pleasant weather before it disappeared totally.

Feeling inspired, Estella subsequently decided to play the humble half giant a visit. She felt guilty because she hardly saw him anymore, and well into the school term she had yet to even congratulate him on his teaching position. Part of her missed how she used to see him every day after school as a child. Even though he had important errands to run and she was just a tag along, Hagrid had always been tolerant of her and considerate. As such, she made a concerted effort in the years since to maintain her civility and acknowledge him as much as possible.

"G'afternoon to yeh young lass!" Hagrid boomed at her as he tended to the Pumpkin patch in his garden. "Though yeh is hardly a wee one anymore now yeh a full Hogwarts student!"

"Hello, Hagrid." Estella said, smiling, instantly comfortable in the gentle man's presence. "I'm sorry to hear 'bout what Malfoy did to your Hippogriff. I hear you're a wicked teacher though."

Hagrid smiled appreciatively. "Cryin' shame what that that Mista Malfoy is accusin' 'im of. Beaky wouldn't hurt a fly. Would yeh Buckbeak?"

Estella was taken aback by the sudden presence of the giant Hippogriff as it appeared from behind Hagrid. "Is that him?" She asked, in awe.

"Oh, pardon me manners young 'stella" Hagrid said, wiping his big hands on his clothes. "Beaky, this is Estella Black. Estella, meet Buckbeak."

Bowing politely, just how Hermione and Harry had told her they had been taught when they had recounted the story of Draco's attack to her, Hagrid smiled. "That's it." He praised. "Now yeh'll see if Buckbeak bows back. Oh would yeh look at that, he did! You can come pet 'im now if yeh want, he won't mind yer."

Taking a firm step forward, Estella kept her movements diminutive, reaching out timidly to pat the magical beast, who, much to her delight, relished the contact approvingly.

"Right." Hagrid said, lifting her up without warning. "Now yeh'll be wantin' a ride."

"No!" Estella gasped, her body going rigid in terror. "I don't fly! I don't… Hagrid!"

Hagrid's hands paused as they deposited her on the hippogriff's back. "I'm sorry, Estella, I was forgettin' what yeh did to them brooms." He said, moving to lift her off again.

"No, wait." Estella said, wrapping her hands around Buckbeak's neck in a moment of lunacy. "Perhaps I could just sit on his back? D'you think he could just go for a run? Not fly I mean."

Hagrid considered this for a moment, his large strong hands on the beast's back keeping it still. "I don't know how Beaky'll take to orders." Hagrid said. "Hippogriffs do as they be wantin' to do. If yeh want to have a sit yeh must be ready to fly if he be wantin' to take yeh up."

Taking a deep breath, Estella summoned up all of her courage. She supposed that flying on the back of an animal that knew what it as doing in the middle of a pleasant day was a lot different to relying on a flimsy stick of wood and her own abilities to control it.

"OK." She said, exhaling slowly. "If Buckbeak flies then I will trust him to keep me in one piece."

"Yeh a brave girl, Estella Black!" Hagrid praised, happy that the child was willing to confront her fear. "Yeh Mum 'n' Dad woulda been proud of yeh." He added as he released Buckbeak from his grip and slapped his behind, sending the beast running down the hill. As Estella tightened her grip and prepared herself for what was going to happen next she could hear the bumbling caretaker mumble to himself in their wake. "I shouldn't 'ave said that."

Estella, however, didn't have a chance to evaluate the appropriateness of Hagrid's comment, because she was suddenly trying to get over the sensation of flying. Flying. Her heart racing and breath quickening as the wind swept past her, sending her hair into even more disarray, Estella finally felt free.

"Whoo hoo!" She cried out, experimentally detaching her arms from their death grip around the Hippogriff's neck and flapping them about as they soared over the Hogwarts grounds. While she couldn't see herself trust the integrity of the school brooms any time too soon, she couldn't deny that the sensation of flying was rather liberating. Passing over a rocky incline on the outskirts of neighbouring Hogsmeade, the exuberant child was too busy to notice the attentive grey eyes watching her from a cave below, taking in her happiness like it was his own. Little did the gaunt, shabbily clothed man below realise, but the child flying above was confiding in her gracious host's ear about her fear of him.

"…so you see, Buckbeak, I don't know what to do." Estella said softly as she nestled her head near the Hippogriff's ears. "I know what he did, but if I caught him… I don't know if I would want him to go back to that. Those Dementors… they… I don't know Buckbeak, maybe he deserves to suffer like that; but I don't think I could be the one to subject him to it. I mean, I don't feel right calling him my father, cause Remus and Uncle Sev's been and done all that in his place, but he is the reason I'm here. I – I – I feel like I kind of owe him for that."

She patted the Hippogriff's head absently as they soared over the North Tower of the school. "I don't even know why I am telling you all this. You're an animal… no offence." She mused. "I guess I just needed to say it aloud. Say it to something with a pulse, at least. Uncle Remus and Uncle Sev would probably tell me I'm being crazy to feel like I owe the man after everything he's gone and done, but I guess I feel like I would be as bad as him if I turned my back on the fact he gave me life and throw it in his face by being the one to condemn him. Don't ask me how, but I feel like I'm the only way they'll ever catch him."

Buckbeak crooned in what could almost be mistaken for understanding and circled the school a few more times… as though he wanted to make sure his precious cargo had gotten everything off their chests. After a companionable five minute silence, the hippogriff coming to a landing on the green hill upon which their journey had began. As she lazed on the Hippogriff's back, loving the feel of his powerful muscles rise and fall with each footfall and how she could hear the distant beat of his heartbeat pulse under his downy feathers, Estella was alarmed to see her Godfather rushing towards her.

"Estella!" Remus cried, almost tripping over his tattered brown robes in his haste. "Are you alright? What were you thinking?"

"Oh, I don't know, Moony," Estella said nonchalantly in a carefree tone that reminded Remus so much of Sirius it sent shivers down his spine. "Thought I might do my best to imitate a courageously rash and foolhardy Gryffindor. How'd I do?"

Remus halted in his tracks, his hard resolve crumbling at the sight of his Goddaughter's unadulterated smile. "You flew?"

"You saw?."

Remus smiled shakily, nodded, and took a step forward.

"Stop right there!" Estella warned, frowning as she held out her hand to stop her Godfather's approach. "You call yourself a Defence instructor, honestly! You're asking for trouble if you come any closer without bowing first!"

Slapping himself in the head, the image of a melodramatic Malfoy fresh in his mind, he bowed respectfully just how he had been taught in school himself, and only approached after Buckbeak had returned the gesture.

"I suppose you would like a hand getting down?" Remus asked, smiling proudly.

"Yes. Please." Estella said, holding her arms out to him. "I still suffer from vertigo you know."

Remus gave her a quizzical look. "But you just…"

"Flew?" Estella finished, seeing him nod in confirmation. "You of all people should know that Vertigo is a fear of falling rather than a fear of heights. I don't get on a broom because I am afraid to fall, just as I am not going to climb off this tall beast unaided because I might crash the five feet back down to earth." She paused as her Godfather helped her off the Hippogriff, setting her feet firmly on solid ground once more. "I only flew Buckbeak because I knew he knew what he was doing and he wouldn't let me fall. It's hard to explain… I just had to try."

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close as they led Buckbeak back towards his stall by Hagrid's Hut, Remus leant down and brushed Estella's windswept brow with a kiss.

"I'm proud of you." He praised. "And since you're up for facing your fears on this glorious afternoon, how would you like to help me go Boggart hunting? I'm after another one to use on my fourth year class. The third years destroyed the other one I had the first day we were practicing with it."

Estella's eyes lit up. Some of the best adventures she and her Godfather had when she was growing up and he'd only used to take her around the castle when he visited was when they would go explore the unused classrooms and hidden passageways for 'hidden treasures'.

"Sure!" Estella agreed amicably. "Where do you suggest we look?"

"Well the last one was found in a staffroom wardrobe. None of the teachers had required emergency robes for a time…" Remus said. "So I suggest checking in the disused guest wings."

"The ones below the attic maybe?" Estella suggested. "They are hardly ever used since Peeves likes to hang out there."

"Excellent suggestion, Estella." Remus beamed. "Five points to Ravenclaw."

"What? Uncle Remus you don't have to give me points." Estella said, looking uncomfortable. "Uncle Sev doesn't."

"Why shouldn't I give points to a student who is assisting me greatly with my work?" Remus asked, curious. Then, narrowing his eyes he added. "And what do you mean your Uncle doesn't give you points…"

"He said it's because he's bias and it's an unfair advantage." Estella said. "Though he has given me points it's always directly before he's about to take the same number of points away from me."

"It truly is no wonder why the man is a Slytherin." Remus frowned, leading Estella up the stairs towards the abandoned guest wing.

"Indeed." Estella sighed, before joining her Godfather in hearty laughter at the unintended imitation.

Finding a Boggart in a dusty chest of drawers, Remus and Estella collapsed on a dusty chaise in the disused sitting room and rested. The castle was, after all, extremely high up, and they were in one of its tallest rooms.

"So, do you want to learn how to repel a Boggart?" Remus asked, in his best teaching voice. "Knowing the spell and actually doing it successfully are quite different, I assure you."

"Um," Estella hesitated, the memories from the Dementors still too fresh. "I don't know…"

"Well how about I demonstrate by unleashing it on myself and you can judge for yourself if you think you would be able to handle one." Remus suggested. "Mind you according to the school curriculum you won't be needing to learn this for another year."

A burning flint igniting in her wise grey eyes, Estella grinned. "Well why didn't you say so, Professor. You know I always enjoy a challenge." She said, pushing him out of his seat. "On with the demonstration."

After briefly having Estella practice the incantation and actions required to discourage a Boggart, Remus opened the drawer with a flick of his wand, setting the Boggart free. Having positioned himself between Estella and the Boggart, the Boggart noticed Remus first and transferred into his fear.

A full moon.

"Riddikulus!" Remus said clearly, waving his wand almost lazily at the Boggart, turning it into a giant egg that fell, splattering yolk all over the floor. "There. Care to give it a go?"

Estella nodded, bracing herself as Remus stepped aside, permitting the Boggart to fixate on her, seeking out what she feared the most.

'Oh, no!' Estella thought, her eyes widening as he Boggart took shape.

Seeing what form his Goddaughter's Boggart had taken, even Remus was taken aback.

Standing before them was Sirius Black.

"Rid… rid… rid…riddikulus!" Estella stammered, backing up against a wall, increasingly horrified when nothing happened. "Remus? What did I do wrong?"

"Think of something funny to turn him into." Remus said weakly, his mouth dry as he stood rooted to the spot. Twelve years it had been since he had seen the man. Twelve years. The man before him was but a figment of his Goddaughter's imagination, and yet it was startling how ill and haggard he looked in his shabby prison garb. Not to mention his eyes. His sad, lifeless grey eyes. Remus couldn't fathom how Estella could conjure such a powerful characterisation of a man she had but only seen old photographs of. Part of him wanted to step in and protectively deflect the Boggart from Estella, but the overriding sense in him acknowledged that this was something in particular that Estella had to face for herself.

"Riddikulus!" Estella said a little more confidently, a strange determined glint in her eye. With a pop, Sirius had disappeared. Much to Remus' profound surprise, Estella had turned him into a harmless stray dog. A harmless, black stray dog… a grim, to be precise.

'Padfoot' Remus gasped, struggling to find breath as his heart constricted in his chest, taking in the sight of the child now chasing the life-size replica of her father's animagus form around the room.

His eyes narrowed. Sure enough he could suppose that the child drew her inspiration from the soft toy she'd had her whole life – Sirius had modelled it on himself after all – but this was just a little too accurate. His mannerisms. His scent. Merlin even the scent, as Remus remembered it, was accurate.

"Estella." He said quietly, his voice hoarse. "Did… did you make this dog up all by yourself?"

"Oh no." Estella admitted happily as she scratched the dog behind the ears just where the dog liked it – just like Padfoot liked it. "I mean I made it up of course because it's not real, but it looks like a dog I saw in the park over Summer."

Remus gasped. "You. Saw. This. Dog?" He swallowed hard.

"Not this dog, Remus. This dog isn't real…" Estella joked.

"Estella." Remus said gravely, his tone deadly serious. "It was a dog just like this one?" Estella nodded. "Did… did you approach it? Did it approach you?"

Estella rolled her eyes. "How else would I have recreated him so well?" Estella stated the obvious as she ruffled the dog's hair. "He followed me to work. Probably would have followed me home too if you and Uncle Sev hadn't come and pulled me out of the ice cream parlour like it was going out of fashion."

"But a dog?" Remus said weakly, swallowing audibly at the implications of his goddaughter's revelation. "What possessed you to…"

"Well that image of my father looked pretty ill and flea-bitten, and I guess it reminded me of the dog."

Remus ran a hand over his sweaty brow. The child was going to be the death of him, he just knew it. Staring into nothingness, never before did he want to break the 'Marauder's Oath' than he did at that moment.

"Uncle Remus?" Estella frowned, seeing her Godfather's far away look. "Hello?"

Shaking his head, dismissing his thoughts, Remus tried to pay his attentions back on the yabbering child in front of him. He couldn't help but wonder, however, why Sirius didn't take Estella when he had the chance. Merlin, Estella knew better than to go anywhere without her wands; and to think he could have taken her unawares and gotten his wand back made his head spin.

But why, oh why, didn't Sirius take the opportunity? Surely Sirius would have felt drawn to his wand and known she had it on her person. There were so many things Remus didn't understand about Sirius' motives in the past, but he knew if he were a escaped prisoner his first priority was to get a wand and his family back.

"Did you have your wands with you that day?" Remus asked numbly.

"Uncle Remus, what's bringing this on?" Estella asked, suspicious of his strange behaviour. "You know I don't leave home without them. 'Constant vigilance' remember?"

"I'm sorry if I alarmed you, cub." Remus said, sending the Boggart flying back into its drawers before pulling Estella into a impromptu hug. "I passed the Dementors earlier today and it's been plaguing me all afternoon how often I've come close to losing you."

"Oh Uncle Remus, you big softie!" Estella sighed contentedly as she melted into the familiar folds of his robes. "You could never lose me! If anything ever happened to me, why I'd come haunt you forever and scare away all those hormone-driven teenage girls who draw love hearts around your name on their class schedules!"

"They do that?" Remus blurted, his lips twitching compulsively as he buried his face in Estella's hair.

"Why don't you ask Elsie next class to see her schedule and find out?" Estella asked suggestively, pulling back to grin at him malevolently, positively revelling in the imminent embarrassment of her heartsick friend.

"Sometimes…" Remus mused, ruffling Estella's hair as they walked side by side – the chest of drawers hovering behind them - as the left the dusty attic. "I swear the sorting hat ought to have put you in Gryffindor."

End Chapter: Confiding in Buckbeak


	63. Another Boggart?

Disclaimer: Chapter one

Updated: Tuesday 12th April 2005

**Chapter Sixty Three: Another Boggart? **

She could stand it no longer. For weeks, she had been avoiding Harry's eyes and made excuses to leave his company when he tracked her down. She couldn't even bring herself to watch Quidditch practice. Not when Harry would treat her so normally, as though nothing was wrong, as though her father hadn't been responsible for his parents death.

It was true that in another time and place Estella and Harry would have grown up like siblings. Estella used to think that the history their two families shared warranted at least a passing acquaintance… but now she knew the truth of her father's treason, she couldn't help but feel ill. She had been the one to seek Harry out in his first year, show him the evidence that connected their lives. He was nice to her after that because he said being around her made him feel a part of something he had lost, and that even though they didn't travel in the same circles or attend the same classes or live in the same house, he'd always look out for her like some sort of surrogate brother would.

Despite her Godfather's reassurances, Estella knew that would all change once Harry found out the truth behind her father's 'friendship' with his parents. She knew that for him to hear it from someone else and not from her would be even more destructive than from telling him herself, and yet she couldn't find the words. Every time she came close she'd either find some other place she needed to be or someone would come interrupt, looking to pull one of them away. Amongst being effected by the Dementors, scared about her father coming to claim her and busy maintaining her grades in class, Estella found it easier just to ignore it. To ignore Harry. However, things had gone on long enough, and he was starting to ask questions. He would corner her in the hall and ask her if he had done anything to anger her! Imagine, Harry feeling guilty for something like this. No, Estella couldn't let that happen.

It was time to tell him the truth.

Sneaking in through the teacher's entrance, Estella made her way towards the Gryffindor Common Room. The other teachers had been reticent about permitting a student of the school to have unsolicited access to the teacher's access points – she was not simply a child who lived with her Uncle on the premises anymore – but her Uncle, and now her Godfather, insisted upon it; especially in light of Sirius Black's escape and the threat he posed to Estella.

They entrusted the privilege unto her to use with her own good judgement, so of course she used it to sneak into the Common Rooms all the time. Passwords were such fickle business, and it wasn't as though she was seeking entrance to these exclusive areas to cause havoc. All she had to do was not get caught. McGonagall, for example, would go absolutely ballistic if she was ever caught in her house without the password. She figured today, however, that the purposes of her trip to Gryffindor tower today was justifiably an emergency situation because she was going crazy the longer she put it off and she knew if she waited around to get a password she would lose her nerve. All she wanted to do anyway, was leave a note somewhere where only Harry would find it to meet her some place private alone. She wasn't out to drag the boy-who-lived into a dangerous situation or lure him out after curfew, she just wanted to set up a meeting without anyone knowing about it. Even an owl would have been too conspicuous. Ron was too nosey and still too wary of her to not get involved if he knew.

It was dinner time. There had been a Hogsmeade visit that day, and having noticed Harry disappear with her Godfather for what the venerable werewolf described to her as 'extra tuition' she decided to invite Harry to meet with her during the following Hogsmeade visit when Harry's friends and upperclassmen would be out of the school.

Entering the deserted Common Room while the rest of the school were gleefully helping themselves to a second or third helping of chocolate pudding (with the Dementors surrounding the school Remus had insisted that, in his professional capacity as a Defence teacher, that he believed Chocolate should form a part every meal); Estella stepped out from behind the tapestry concealing the hidden teacher's entrance and started to make her way across the room to the stairs leading up the tower to the boys dorms. She was but halfway across the room when a slight noise from the other side of the portrait wall caught her attention. With the walls being very thick – not to mention heavily warded – she could barely hear it, but it sounded like a scratching noise. Curiosity getting the better of her, Estella drew from her impulsive Gryffindor influences (she supposed it was a side effect of being in their common room) and did the one thing she was about to regret.

She opened the portrait door.

Seeing the manic form of her father, knife raised, ready to slice another tear in the canvas of the Fat Lady's portrait, his face a mask of rage, Estella stumbled back in shock.

'_Boggart… boggart' _Her mind struggled to form a coherent thought as she fumbled for her wand.

Seeing her stunned expression, the man immediately stopped in his tracks and gasped.

"Estella?" A voice cracked from misuse whispered at her, betraying signs of a shock all of his own.

_'What's the charm… what's that charm?_' She cursed to herself trying to recall the charm to get rid of the Boggart. _'Wait a minute… the Boggart didn't talk last time… and this isn't the kind of cool dark place a Boggart would jump out from.'_

Realisation clouded her features, her eyes widened in panic. She choked back a terrified sob as she kept scampering backwards, increasingly threatened when her father quickly entered the room and closed the mangled remains of the portrait shut behind him with a audible click. As his grey eyes locked contact with her own, full of regret, sadness and an emotion Estella couldn't identify as he slowly approached her, she suddenly realised her predicament. She was alone. With her father.

The child, who was paralysed in fear, managed all but a strangled yelp before the man had swiftly closed the gap between them and placed his hand gently, but firmly, over her mouth to muffle her cries.

"Shhhh… don't cry! Please don't cry!" The man pleaded in a strangled sob of his own as his other hand cradled her face so delicately it was as though he thought she might crumble and break in his grip. "I won't hurt you, child."

Estella's breath came in ragged breaths as she huffed in and out through her nose, her mouth blocked by his trembling hand. Inwardly, she was struggling with herself over what to do. Her father had yet to stop her from moving her hands… she could easily pull out her wand… but how to hex him when she couldn't say the spell clearly? Did she even want to stun him? To stun him would mean the teachers would know where he was and they would fetch the Dementors to give him the kiss. Scared as she was at that moment, she didn't know if she would be able to live with herself if she did that to him. And what if they made her watch? She didn't particularly want the Dementors coming anywhere near her again anytime soon. The very memory of their last encounter sent a violent shiver through her.

Her father had evidently felt her shiver too.

"Please don't be scared." He said softly, his voice cracking as a lone tear ran down his mud-stained face. Moving his hand from her mouth he cupped her face gently and stared into her eyes mournfully as he continued, his bottom lip trembling. "Merlin you're so beautiful… so beautiful…" he whispered. "I've missed so much… and your mother… you're so like your mother… I can't tell you how hard it is for me not to just hold you in my arms and never let go."

Alarm bells started ringing in Estella's head. '_Oh my God, he's going to try and kidnap me_!' All the while this exchange had been taking place, Estella had been slowly inching her way backwards, her father keeping up with her, the pair of them crossing the room together like some twisted waltz. While she had resolved not to use magic to her advantage, she decided to try and pull away from him physically… to get away from him and hope that he doesn't follow her into certain capture. Pushing hard against his chest, she took a large step backwards in a effort to break away from her father; but it was no use. She had just backed herself into a wall, and her father, sensing the flight risk, had thrown his weight against her as gently as he could to pin her between himself and the wall. She wasn't going anywhere.

Resting his forehead against her own, the fugitive sighed audibly. Estella noted somewhat abstractly that her father's hair was even greasier than her Uncle's and that his breath smelt worse than her Godfather's the morning after a full moon.

"I won't make you do anything you don't want to do." Her father said in a voice so soft, even Estella with her keen sense of hearing had to strain to hear it as he moved his hands to grasp the smaller hands he had trapped against his chest. "Just don't run. Not yet."

That said, her father squeezed her hands in his own gently before surprisingly relinquishing them as he backed away, his hands raised in defeat. "I want you to trust me, Estella." He said as he created a comfortable – but still arm's length - distance between them, his movements shaking, but slow and unthreatening. "I'd rather die than see you suffer at my hands."

Estella had half a mind to tell him just how much she had suffered in the first few months of her life on account of her mother's death and his incarceration. But she couldn't bring herself to retort with such a scathing reply. Not when he sounded so sincere.

'_Why trust him_?' A voice cried warily in her head. '_The Potters did and look what happened to them!_'

Fear bubbled in her gut again, threatening to spill itself over in the form of regurgitated shepherd's pie all over her father's already grotty shoes. Everything she knew about him just screamed at her to not trust him, to run away; and yet something kept her feet bound to the floor. It was no longer curiosity, it was something much deeper in her subconscious. A strange sense of calm that was silently urging her to hear him out.

"What… what do you want?" She said quietly, oddly trying not to sound rude.

Her father looked at her sadly, his hands twitching as though all he really did want at that moment was to hold her in his arms and never let go. The part of her mind that realised this admired his restraint.

"The rat." He said hoarsely, a strange edge to his voice. "The rat will set everything right again."

Estella's eyes widened. The man was stark raving mad! How could a rat possibly be of any relevance? Suddenly aware of the time that had passed and the tell-tale signs of attack that would welcome the Gryffindors back to their rooms at any given moment, Estella was overcome with a different kind of panic.

"You can't be here." She said shortly, her face reddening with embarrassment. "They'll find you… and the Dementors… you… I… don't…"

"Hush, my precious, precious, angel." Sirius said, smiling slihtly at the implications of her concern for him as he closed the gap between them once more to still her lips with his fingertips. A sigh.

"You are right, of course." Sirius said bitterly, eyeing the clock on the wall behind them with a forlorn expression. "I must go before they find me."

Estella nodded dumbly as her father raised her chin gently and looked into her eyes. "So like your mother." He said reverently, stroking a stray hair from her face. Leaning forward to press his lips against her brow; he then lingered there for a moment, inhaling deeply as though memorising every aspect of her being. Noises outside roused them from their thoughts as two sets of grey eyes flickered and settled upon each other.

Pulling away reluctantly, Sirius moved hurriedly towards the fire place, tugging on a light fixture to reveal a passageway – one that could apparently only be opened from one end. Perfect only for quick getaways.

"Remember," he said coarsely as he turned back one last time to look at her. "Remember the rat. Beware of the rat."

Estella could only stare after the man dumbly, captivated under his lingering gaze before he was gone; the passageway disappearing as though it had never even been there and none of what she had experienced had ever happened. Blinking her eyes furiously, Estella's breath quickened as her mind struggled to process her very first meeting with her father. So many things didn't add up… and as a result of the lateness of the hour and the adrenalin in her body rushing from her body as quickly as it had built up, Estella found herself leaning against the wall and sliding to the floor, her legs turning to jelly and giving way from under her.

Her body wracked with emotions, trembling from the effects of the unbalanced chemicals in her system, Estella slipped into shock. Wrapping her arms around herself to fend off the sudden chill in the air, she raised her knees to her chest and hugged herself tightly. Her head coming to rest on her knees, she struggled to slow the pace of her furiously beating heart, and as her breathing was forced to come in slow, shaking breaths, she felt her eyelids grow heavy.

Both physically and mentally exhausted, Estella Black fell asleep.

End Chapter: Another Boggart?


	64. Warnings

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated: Tuesday 12th April 2005

**Chapter Sixty Four: Warnings**

Sirius had been loitering around the outskirts of Hogsmeade since just before term began. He noticed straight away, with no amount of irony, that Dementors of all things were guarding the school boundaries; as though they alone could prevent him from reaching his goal. It appeared that the Ministry was still as inept as ever. Not only did they arrest the wrong man for a crime and sentence him without trial, but the one thing they send after him when he escapes is the one thing he managed to outsmart and escape from in the first place.

How thick could you get?

Under any other circumstances, Sirius Black would have laughed.

Unbeknownst to the students or staff, Sirius had been watching as the pupils arrived on the train at Hogsmeade and boarded the carriages that would take them to the castle. He had been so mesmerised by the sight of the grim looking Thestrals that drew the carriages – having since witnessed the death of those Muggles since his last trip to Hogwarts – and reminiscing bitterly on how he came to see them, that he almost missed his daughter's face amongst the crowd of second year students. Taking in her black school robes with their navy blue trim and Raven encrusted House Crest, Sirius noted with pride – and relief - that his daughter had been sorted into Ravenclaw. Like her mother. At the time of his imprisonment his brother-in-law had been up for contention for the position of Slytherin Housemaster, and he knew that with her Uncle raising her there would have been no end of troubles for the child had she been sorted into his own house, Gryffindor. Even though it would have worried him if his daughter had followed the influences of the man who raised her and joined Slytherin house, the canine animagus doubted it would change the way he felt about her. Nothing would change the fact that she was his daughter.

As the distant figure of his progeny disappeared into a carriage with a group of fellow second years (well Sirius guessed they were as such by their height and apparent familiarity with his daughter) something else caught his eye.

'_James!_' His heart instinctively leapt… then fell. The boy-who-lived, who, from even close range was almost like a carbon copy of his father, was not his best friend… his dead best friend… but rather his godson. Even after having seen him up close on the Muggle street several weeks previously and recognising him for who he was straight away, Sirius still had a hard time associating the 13 year old boy at the end of his gaze with the 15 month old infant he was so terribly familiar with. Even though the boy had lived, it felt like so much time had gone by without Sirius in it. So much had changed. Harry had changed. He was a teenager now; a child who would likely not remember him for a bar of soap, let alone his own parents. No more pitter patter of little feet charging towards him as he entered the room. No more innocent baby babble, triumphantly forming the words 'Padfoot' as the child drooled uncontrollably, excited at having just identified his beloved Godfather. The almost grown Harry before him didn't seem the sort to roll around playfully with him, giggling in high pitched screeches as he blew bubbles on his belly and went through the motions of their favourite games.

The Harry he knew might as well have died that night with James and Lily. The boy before him was but a stranger. A dead ringer for his father – and Gryffindor as well – Sirius couldn't help but feel he was sucked into a time warp.

A heavy weight settled in his heart as reality came crashing down. Sirius mourned his losses… mourned for the years he had missed out on and loves he had lost. If teenage Harry was a stranger to him, then what of his own flesh and blood? The daughter he never had the chance to meet – even as a infant. He was nothing to her, and it hurt… for she was everything to him.

About to turn away, Sirius remembered why he had come. He had to discern what house the Weasley boy – the one with the rat – was in. Chances are, if the boy took the villain-in-disguise on holidays with him, then chances are the rat would be with him at school too. His fears were confirmed when he saw that not only was the shock of red hair dressed in Gryffindor robes, but he appeared to be fast friends with his Godson.

Good Merlin! Peter Pettigrew – the man who had betrayed the marauders and orphaned its descendants – was going to be sharing a room with Harry Potter! Sirius knew it was a possibility – it was the catalyst that finally prompted an end to his self-destructive guilt trips and forced him to escape – but now he knew it was a fact, he felt sick.

The weeks leading up to the first Hogsmeade weekend passed agonisingly slowly for Sirius. He spent his time scavenging old newspapers from bins to keep up with the Ministry's 'search' for him and beggared food from the village folk, accepting their scraps in his animagus form. Not a day went by that Sirius didn't cast silent thanks to the last surviving marauder – the last one who wasn't a traitor or wanted by the Ministry anyway – for having the integrity to honour his Marauder's Oath. It was clear from the news reports that the gentile, compassionate werewolf had not revealed his status as a unregistered animagus to the Aurors searching for him. Though, it was with copious amounts of disbelief that he couldn't fathom how they Aurors didn't suspect he was one anyway. Surely they would surmise it would have been the only way he would have gotten out of Azkaban.

No wonder the Dark Lord reached the heights of power like he had.

Even though Sirius had decided upon using the passageway from the Shrieking Shack to get onto Hogwarts' grounds – theoretically by passing the Dementors at the other known entry points to the castle – Sirius decided to wait until the students were leaving for their Hogsmeade visit before making his move. Although they would undoubtedly have to keep their distance from the departing students, Sirius knew that they would be distracted by the passing tirade of innocent students and he would be able to ensure himself safe passage. The school would also be less populated, and understaffed, with most all of the students in the top five years taking advantage of the pleasant early Autumn weather and relishing in their first trip out of school for the year. Many of the teachers, as such, would be out of the grounds accompanying a carriage and patrolling the streets of Hogsmeade, ensuring the students did not disrupt the locals.

Yes, the Hogsmeade weekend would be the best time to strike.

Making it all the way from the Whomping Willow to the entrance of Gryffindor tower took the better part of the day. He had to travel extensively out of his way to remain in the shadows and avoid all possibility of detection. Alright, so maybe just a small part of him relished the nostalgic feeling of being 'free' in the Hogwarts castle once more. Backtracking and crisscrossing through the labyrinth of secret passageways that he knew so well (and thankfully were known to few others) he felt as though he was back at school again and, with its all but deserted halls it was as if it was after curfew and he was sneaking off to the kitchens on some dare James had set him up to do.

_James_.

Remembering the objective of this little expedition: get the rat; Sirius set himself back on task.

By the time he reached the familiar portrait of the Fat Lady, the students were returning from their outing and, in the far distance, milling into the Great Hall for tea.

_Tea_.

Sirius couldn't remember the last time he ate a decent meal. Perhaps he could sniff out a student's secret stash in the tower and indulge. He'd most likely have to eat it in his animagus form, however, as his human stomach was far to emaciated to handle the nutrition.

"Password?" The Fat Lady said boorishly, barely acknowledging his presence as he emerged from the shadows in his human form.

"Hallo Lady my love," He said sweetly, trying to dredge up the same confident swagger and flirting tone that had once upon a time come so naturally. "Long time no see, and may I say you are looking better than ever."

The Fat Lady turned her attention away from the glass she was posing with and peered more closely at the dishevelled man before him. "You are no student." She assessed tartly, her eyes narrowing in contempt at his dirty appearance. "Who are you?"

"I'm not a student, that much is true." Sirius admitted, lowering his head humbly. "But I am a Gryffindor, and I have business in the tower."

"A past student come to visit then." The Fat Lady surmised. "Password?"

"Why, after all we've been through…" Sirius whined mournfully. "Surely you don't need the password from an old friend like me…"

"I don't recognise you boy." The Fat Lady asserted. "Password. Or no entry."

Sirius flicked his hair back flirtingly – much like he used to – though with his hair in slimy clumps with all manner of wildlife nesting in his scalp he hardly thought it would have nearly the same effect. The wheels in the portraits head, however, were churning. Looking at her pleadingly with his big puppy dog eyes, realisation finally hit.

"Sirius Black!" She gasped. "What are you doing here?"

Sirius was getting impatient. If he wanted to find Pettigrew before students started coming back to the tower he really didn't have time for games. "I already told you, my fair Lady, I have business in the tower."

The woman looked at him accusingly. "No password. No entry. You know the rules."

"And you know how I liked to break them." Sirius said lightly before turning serious and withdrawing a knife he had pilfered from a butcher a couple of towns away. "I would really hate for things to… get violent."

"Sirius Black! You wouldn't!"

"I don't have time for this. Let me in now or you'll leave me no choice." He said regretfully as he ran the blade's edge across the canvas – without damaging it - in warning. "No? I'm sorry then."

He started to tear into the canvas with the knife, desperate to get inside the tower. Ignoring the flight of the surrounding portrait's figures, his anger and frustration grew insurmountably when he realised that hacking the portrait to pieces did nothing for his situation. He was still locked out, and now there wasn't even anyone to give the password to if he knew it. Cursing himself for his foolish impulses, Sirius started stabbing at the wooden frame behind the canvas, infuriated at the fact that he had little to no chance of getting in there now. One look at the vandalised portrait and one word from another portrait and the whole school would be on alert. Kicking himself ruefully, he regretted not just staying hidden in the shadows, waiting in the hope that a lone Gryffindor – preferably a first year – came up before the end of dinner, enabling Sirius to overhear the password or overpower the unsuspecting child.

_'Damn! Damn! Damn!_'

Suddenly, however, something Sirius did not expect to happen, did. The portrait swung open from the inside.

There was a God.

And he was apparently being very nice to him at that moment.

Standing across from him was none other than his beloved daughter.

Upon seeing the startled… no, scared look on his daughter's face, Sirius realised how he must look to his child right now: crazed, dangerous, dirty, angry. Spiriting the knife away, all anger leaving his face – replaced with shock, awe and sadness, just for starters – Sirius gasped.

"Estella?" He called out to her, his voice thick.

A look of realisation clouded her features, and Sirius' heart ached as he saw her eyes widen in panic. She choked back a terrified sob and stumbled backwards, trying to get away with him. A pain, deep in Sirius' soul, was resonating throughout his whole being as he recognised the fear he was causing in his own child. His own child. He quickly entered the room and closed the door behind him. Moving towards his child slowly, it took all of Sirius' resolve not to ignore the fact he was causing the child's distress and just take her into his arms.

'_It shouldn't be this way_' His heart mourned. He had waited so long to be a father. When Selina was pregnant he'd had such grand plans. His whole life was going to revolve around the child before him, and had he had his way, she would have had absolutely no illusions of that. He had known all along… _just known_… that Selina was going to have a girl; and Sirius fancied doting on his beloved daughter and bonding with her so intensely that she would be a real Daddy's girl. But all of that had been torn from him, and although his love for his child was unwavering, the fruit of his loins, the product of his love, was standing before him, for the very first time, absolutely _terrified_.

Hearing a strangled yelp from the distraught child tore at his heart. Immediately, he gave into his more primal primitive instincts as a father and went to her. Reluctantly covering her mouth with his hand instead of holding her in his arms the way he'd prefer, Sirius held her face in his hands for the very first time; blinking furiously as though she might disappear and he would wake up from this dream at any moment. As he felt his child flinch and go rigid at his touch, he knew better than to take it any further, and yet still his heart ached to hold her. To hold her and say soothing things in her ear until she would feel safe and protected and trust him and know how much she was loved in his arms – arms that would never leave her again if they had their way.

"Shhhh… don't cry! Please don't cry!" He pleaded, choking back his own emotion. "I won't hurt you, child."

His daughter's breath coming in ragged breaths as she huffed in and out through her nose, her life force tickling his palm and warming his body with the reassuring fact that 'this was his daughter, he'd given her life, and she was alive and breathing before him' Sirius' whole body began to tremble with the powerful emotions he was feeling.

Gazing at her adoringly through the thin sheen of unshed tears – tears of both happiness and grief – Sirius noticed a range of emotions pass through her eyes. Although staring at her eyes was like looking at his reflection, Sirius found he could read his daughter's soul in much the same way he had been able to loose himself in his beloved wife's obsidian orbs. From his observations, he could tell she was contemplating something in her mind.

'_Flight or fight_' Sirius' mind registered with a heavy heart, sad that his daughter didn't realise how readily he would die for her. If she had so much as said to him to turn himself in at that moment, he would gladly do so – even knowing the consequences – simply because it was her wish.

"Please don't be scared." He said softly, his voice cracking as a lone tear ran down his mud-stained face. He could feel Estella shiver beneath his hands. His lower lip began to tremble as he cupped her face, standing eye to eye with his child. "Merlin you're so beautiful… so beautiful…" he whispered. "I've missed so much… and your mother… you're so like your mother… I can't tell you how hard it is for me not to just hold you in my arms and never let go."

Holding his breath, Sirius' body stiffened as he noted his daughter's almost frightened reaction to his confession. It repulsed him that he could scare his child that much that the thought of him showing his affection was so terrifying for her. Sirius fought with himself, his feet following Estella on their own accord as she inched away. Even though it was clearly what she wanted, he couldn't bring himself to lose contact with her. Even though he had refrained from holding her in his arms, just the meagre touch of his hand on her face was enough to keep him grounded. To let go, he found, would be like letting go of his soul. His soul belonged to the child before him, there was no doubt about it, for had it not been for the love he felt for her as a father he would not have had a reason to pull himself through each day in that hell; and the Dementors would have long since claimed his soul for themselves.

Swallowing hard as he fought back the burning tears as Estella started to struggle against him, Sirius gently trapped her between himself and the wall. One look at the pain in her eyes, however, and Sirius knew he had to let go. Resting his forehead against her own, Sirius sighed audibly.

"I won't make you do anything you don't want to do." He said so softly he wasn't sure the child could even hear him. He fumbled his hands downwards, prying the fragile replicas of his daughter's hands from his chest and relishing in the feel of her hands in his.

"Just don't run. Not yet." He begged, squeezing the small, soft hands gently before pulling away, reluctantly letting go of the hands only when Estella's arms had been forced to stretch out as he stepped back.

"I want you to trust me, Estella." He said quietly, his throat scratchy and dry as he raised his hands in defence. "I'd rather die than see you suffer at my hands."

An unreadable expression passed over Estella's face, and for a moment there Sirius thought she was going to cut back at him with a retort of some kind. Whatever she was going to say, however, she reneged on; Sirius noted sadly. At this point he didn't care what the child had to say to him, he just wanted to hear her voice.

"What… what do you want?" She said quietly, unsurely, after a few moments of silence.

Sirius looked at her sadly, his hands twitching with the urge to show her what he wanted by throwing caution to the wind and taking her in his arms. In fact, there were so many answers – so many things he wanted at that moment – that his mind couldn't even think straight through the tirade of emotions.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he wondered what her real first word had been. Did she call Snape 'Dada'? His mind flooding back to the one reason all of this had happened in the first place, he looked at her desperately.

"The rat." He said hoarsely, a strange edge to his voice. "The rat will set everything right again."

His daughter's eyes widened. Sirius mentally cursed himself for not thinking of something more profound and meaningful to say. It was all Pettigrew's fault. Not only was it his fault he was framed and sent to that horrible place, but now the very mention of him had to go ruin his very first attempts at connecting with the child he had been kept away from for so long.

"You can't be here." The child said suddenly, her face reddening with discomfort as her eyes shifted to the portrait door across the room behind him. "They'll find you… and the Dementors… you… I… don't…"

"Hush, my precious, precious, angel." Sirius said, smiling slightly. Merlin she was her mother's daughter. Even through the fear and the distrust, his daughter still had the compassion to not wish him harm. He couldn't help but sigh as he stilled his child's words with his fingers; stepping forward jerkily, hauling himself back only when he realised that he had been going to hug her. Despite the increasing difficulty of his ability to restrain himself, he was overjoyed with the slight possibility that there may be a chance for them yet, some day.

Not today, though.

"You are right, of course." He said bitterly, eyeing the clock on the wall behind them and noting the time. "I must go before they find me."

"So like your mother." He said reverently, stroking a stray hair from her face. Leaning forward to press his lips against her brow; he inhaled slowly, wanting to commit every scent, every feeling, every colour, into his mind before he tore himself away.

Suddenly, rising noises outside highlighted the urgency of his imminent departure. Oh how he wished he could take his child with him, spend some time with her, explain things… but he knew he couldn't do that to her. She was teetering dangerously on the edge as it was, and he didn't want to traumatise her permanently by stealing her away from where she belonged. A life on the run was no life for his precious angel. It was bad enough she even had to see him in such an unkempt state as it was.

Catching her gaze one last time, Sirius lingered a moment longer before forcing himself to pull away. Crossing the room fluidly, heading directly for the expressly one-way passage by the fireplace he knew was there, Sirius moved quickly so that he could get away before his paternal instincts took over and made him do something rash… like take his daughter.

"Remember," he said coarsely as he turned back one last time to look at her. "Remember the rat. Beware of the rat."

'_And I love you, so, so much' _he finished to himself brokenly as he sped down the passage, morphing into his animagus form mid step as he staged his get away.

Hopefully his daughter would heed his warning.

End Chapter: Warnings


	65. Fall Out

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated: Thursday 14th April 2005

**Chapter Sixty Five: Fall Out**

After the grisly discovery of the Fat Lady's portrait, the students had been evacuated to the Great Hall. As the Headmaster and Deputy Headmistress set about warding the entrances and imparting their instructions to the fleet of prefects, two sets of eyes searched the sea of student's faces. When it became apparent that the object of their attentions was not present, the two men shared a look.

"Lupin." "Severus" The two voices interjected each other.

"Estella." They both said.

"Dumbledore." They continued. Had it been under any other circumstances they may have been able to appreciate the humour, but this was no laughing matter. Sirius Black had been spotted inside Hogwarts, and now his daughter was missing.

"Professor Snape! Professor Lupin!" A short, dwarf-like man ran towards them as fast as his little legs could carry. "Estella Black is not present or accounted for!"

Severus Snape sneered, biting back the urge to snap at the man for his senseless ability to state the obvious. "The Ravenclaw rooms are all cleared?" He asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I just helped the sixth year prefects conduct a final sweep." Professor Flitwick continued, wringing his hands nervously. "And Madame Prince has just returned with the students who were in the library."

The two unlikely allies shared another look.

"We'll search our respective quarters momentarily." Remus said breathlessly, fear gripping his heart.

"Until then we must assume that Black has got her." Severus said gruffly.

"Ah, Severus, Remus." Albus Dumbledore approached them. "I don't want you to be alarmed, but…"

"Estella's missing!" Both men growled at the headmaster.

"We're wasting time, Albus!" Remus said, looking slightly more worse for wear than the man beside him. "What would you have us do?"

"The students will remain here tonight." Albus said. "I have warded the entrances and instructed the prefects to stand guard."

"What happened?" Severus scowled darkly. "I thought the school was impenetrable!"

"It appears Sirius Black made his way into the school while the Dementors were distracted by the students coming back and forth from Hogsmeade." Albus said. "The integrity of his intended destination, however, was not compromised. He was unable to achieve entry into Gryffindor Tower without the password. Since I fear Mr Black could still be waiting in the shadows to ambush his target as they return to their dormitory, the students will remain here until the school is searched."

"What makes you think he hasn't already acquired his target?" Severus said, his voice straining to maintain its icy tone and belie the inner turmoil he was feeling at that moment.

"It is a distinct possibility that Sirius Black has come to claim his daughter." Albus said, his eye devoid of its twinkle. "Though Harry Potter…"

Severus glared, his face hardening. "We shouldn't be wasting our time protecting _Potter _and searching the castle! We should be out combing the forest and alerting the Aurors! He has a hostage now, and his wand!"

"Surely you do not wish to incite a panic, Severus." Albus implored. "The Ministry would only insist on bringing Dementors into the School"

"Very well," Severus said wearily, rubbing his forehead irritably. "I shall search the Dungeons via my quarters. Lupin…"

"I'll go by my rooms now…" Remus assured, shifting his weight anxiously. "I'll _need to be secure _within the hour. Albus, has anyone searched Gryffindor tower?"

"All Gryffindor students are accounted for." Albus said, relieved.

* * *

Estella lay unconscious on the floor of the deserted common room, all but hidden by view by a thick wall tapestry she had rolled under. Oblivious to the furore her disappearance was causing elsewhere in the Castle, Estella dreamt. 

_Darkness. Cold. Emptiness all around her. The nightmare was nothing new to Estella as her body was frozen in a silent scream. But then she hears it… something new. Something coming towards her._

_"Estella!" A voice called, starting at a whisper but getting closer and closer as time went on. "Estella!"_

_'I'm here! Over here!' She tried to scream out, but she could make no sound. Whoever was coming to find her would surely never find her._

_Yet still the voice came towards her, until finally she could feel the comforting warmth of breath against her brow._

_"Found you." A voice whispered softly in her ear, twin beacons of light glistening at her through the dark._

_A sudden popping noise and Estella found herself in the unused guest wing in one of the school's attics. She was reliving the afternoon her Godfather had taught her how to fight the Boggart. The scene was playing itself in mute, so Estella could only watch the body language of her memory-self and Remus as they conversed. Having seen the Boggart turn into the dog well enough the first time, Estella focused on Remus' mannerisms. To her surprise, he had a stunned, almost fearful look on his face when the Boggart had turned into the stray dog she'd seen in London. If she didn't know better she was sure she could see a hint of recognition in the weary werewolf's eyes._

_Blinking madly to get the image out of her head, the scene changed. She was back in London outside the grocery store where she worked over Summer and the grateful stray dog she had just fed was licking her hand. Looking down at the dog and patting its head encouragingly, Estella lost herself in the dog's watery grey orbs. Overwhelmed by a sense of de ja vu, Estella peered closer at the dog's eyes, the pieces clicking into place._

_She had seen those eyes before._

* * *

"Estella!" The raven haired boy's seeker trained eyes spotted the crumpled form of the missing child almost immediately. It was late morning, the students having been sent back to their Houses shortly after breakfast. 

"Somebody get a teacher, quick!" Ron urged, helping Harry pull Estella off the floor and onto a nearby lounge. "Hermione, light the fire! She's ice cold!"

The castle got very cold at night. With all the students in the Great Hall and the school's magic concentrated on enforcing the school wards against intruders, the fires within the Houses were put out. Estella had been lying on a cold stone floor in but a thin woollen skirt and shirt under her 'indoor' robes.

With the assistance of the teacher's corridor, the Gryffindor common room was soon swarming with teachers.

"Out of my way!" Severus roared as he made his way through the throng of curious students. "Someone get these students out of here! This is not a circus!"

"Students, to your dorms please!" Professor McGonagal said sternly, clapping her hands before turning to look at the sleep deprived potions master. "Severus, was that really necessary?"

"I thought the Gryffindor tower had been cleared of students, Minerva." Severus replied silkily.

"Professor Snape, sir." Harry said, rising to his feet from where he had been kneeling on the floor by the lounge where Estella lay. "Estella was on the floor half hidden by a tapestry. It… it would have been easy to miss her sir…"

"Potter! Once again I find _you_ in the thick of it." Severus said, swooping down on the persistent child.

Harry stared back defiantly. If he could face a basilisk and the memory of Lord Voldemort, he could handle Severus Snape. "Well it's a good thing I _was in the thick of it_, Sir; because half the house passed through this room before I saw her lying there!"

"Well _congratulations _Potter, for indulging your hero complex once again!" Severus spat, his eyes glinting dangerously. "Five points _from _Gryffindor for each student who was being so unobservant!"

Clenching his jaw, Harry's stood toe to toe with the greasy git of a man before him, his hands clenching into fists as he held his arms rigidly at his sides.

"Harry…" Hermione hissed from behind him, placing a stabilising hand on his shoulder. "We should let the teachers tend to Estella."

Severus was just about to retort with a biting comment aimed at the know-it-all Gryffindor, but Minerva had shooed the golden-trio away.

"I came as soon as I heard!" A dishevelled Remus Lupin said as he rushed into the room. Last night had been the full moon.

"Coming through!" Madame Pomfrey stormed in behind Remus. "This child ought to be in the infirmary!"

* * *

Estella had been in the infirmary for the past hour, and she had yet to awaken. Remus had wanted to maintain a vigil, but Madame Pomfrey was unrelenting in her determination to pack the tired old werewolf off to bed. 

"The child is in shock, Severus." Poppy had said gravely. "There's no telling when she will awaken."

The words echoed around in Severus' mind as he sat at his niece's bedside, a strange sense of de ja vu of some five years previously sending shivers down his spine. Relieved wasn't a word strong enough to describe how glad he was that Estella hadn't been taken in the night. It concerned him, however, that the child was found unconscious and in shock though… what had she seen? Who had she encountered? Most importantly, what did they tell her?

Severus could practically feel the life he had built for himself and his charge crumble around him.

What if she now knew what he'd done? What If Estella knew Severus had withheld information that could have at least made her father's life in prison easier? He should never have sent Black that letter all those years ago. There was no way the letter had survived the deteriorating conditions of Azkaban all that time, but a memory of it was enough. A memory and a pensieve and Severus would lose Estella. There was too much Gryffindor in her. As much as he tried to discourage it or ignore it, he couldn't hide the fact that his niece had the innate ability to see the good in everyone. If Black had cornered her long enough to talk with her, it was just a matter of time before Estella woke up – in more ways than one. No one, least of all Estella, would want to have to face the fact that their parent did terrible things. She'd had a hard time trying to accept Black's betrayal of the Potters… all it would take was a suggestion that he didn't do it and Estella would jump on the bandwagon, eager to reveal the good in the man.

His eyes heavy as they burned into Estella's still form on the bed, Severus supposed that he could hardly blame the child for feeling that way. No one, not even him, would want to accept that the blood they came from was inherently evil. Especially not in magical society where blood meant so much to so many.

Hopefully she would be able to apply that same logic in accepting his reasons. His feelings for Black aside, he had truly thought he had been doing the right thing by his niece by allowing her to get on with her life. If she had to go through her earlier education tortured with the possibility of her father's innocence it would have made the degrading comments of her peers all the harder to bear. At least in thinking he was 100 guilty she had been able to agree with them and ignore it.

Severus knew Sirius had not betrayed the Potters, but without Pettigrew's body – alive or dead – there was no confirming who killed all those Muggles. Sirius had to have done it – they'd found Peter's finger. How would Peter have been able to fake his own death and escape from the explosion in time? Either way, it was better for people… better for Estella… to believe beyond a reasonable doubt that Sirius was guilty. He knew what it was to live with doubt… to live with not knowing… and he wouldn't wish that on anyone. Especially someone who actually had reason to like Black.

Since Black's escape, however, he was at a loss. Maybe he should have told people what he knew. The Dark Lord was as good as dead, the threat to his exposing his cover would have been minimal. Maybe it would have benefited Estella to have faith in her Father. He was willing to admit that his initial resolve to keep his knowledge to himself was driven by his unreasonable hatred and lust for revenge. He could only hope that people would see that this irrational temperament was a by-product of his time in Azkaban and the negative effect the Dementors had on his perspective. Now time had passed, he didn't feel the same burning motivation to hide the truth purely to get at Sirius; but it was just too late to change things now without people getting hurt; and after Potter's run in with Voldemort in his first year and the continued ambiguity of just how those Muggles died, Severus felt he was still of right mind to withhold his information.

Something he would do at any cost.

Estella's eyes flew open, unfocused. Severus leant forward in his chair to get her attention.

"Estella?" He said quietly, mindful not to wake Lupin just yet and have him interfere. Touching her shoulder, he was dismayed to see her flinch, but ignored it as he pressed on. "What were you doing in Gryffindor Tower?"

His voice was low and unthreatening. Severus was a hard man, but he wasn't a fool. It seemed, however, that Estella was still too fragile to answer his questions for she started to tremble.

"I was looking for Harry." Estella whispered shakily, closing her eyes. "May I have some water, please?"

Severus' jaw twitched restrainedly as he took in the latest revelation. '_Potter' _his mind spat. _'Potter put her in this position!_'

"Here." He said, holding a glass with a straw up to Estella's mouth and waiting while she drank from it. "I've had your things moved back down to your room." He said after she had finished. "No arguments."

Estella sighed. "I don't see why," she said carefully. "All I did was fall asleep on the floor."

She was covering it up.

"You're lying." Severus hissed… between the mention of Potter and her apparent intention to lie to him, his temper had flared. "You don't end up in shock from falling asleep on the floor!"

"I had a nightmare." She said simply. "It must have had a _profound _effect on me."

The look she gave him was pointed, an eyebrow raised in challenge as if to say _'remember that day at Malfoy manor?'_

Frowning down at the obstinate child before him, he challenged her glare. "Sirius Black was seen outside the Tower. He slashed the portrait. Are you telling me you didn't see him?"

"I didn't see him outside the Tower." Estella said, employing her Slytherin methods of misdirection. "And if he slashed the portrait he couldn't have gotten in, could he?"

"You didn't let him in?" Severus asked.

"No." Estella answered._ 'I opened the door, he let himself in after that.'_

"Why did you pass out then?" Severus pressed on. "You had no reason to think you had to stay in there for your safety."

"I had no reason to think I would be missed." Estella answered. "I must have dozed while I was waiting for the Gryffindors to get back from dinner."

"On the floor?" Severus asked, shaking his head. "I don't believe you."

"Don't then." Estella said, starting to roll over. Inside, she was falling to pieces. She'd never lied to her Uncle like this before, and every instinct in her was telling her it was wrong to not tell him what happened, but she was just so afraid of him getting mad at her for not putting her defence skills to work and capturing her father. She'd let a convicted killer get away! Did that make her an accomplice? Would she be sent _there_?

No one could know what happened.

"I'm sorry, Estella." Severus said quietly before standing over her, wand drawn. "Legilimens!"

Taken aback by the sudden attack, but not at all surprised by it, Estella built up her walls. When determined enough, she could manage to keep just about anything from her Uncle. To stop him from digging, she sent the memory of her Boggart through. As predicted, her Uncle withdrew himself from her mind and leaned over her.

"You have seen Black!" Severus said, almost fearfully. "In the school. At a different time. Your Godfather is conspiring with him and he's been coming and going for how long? HOW LONG? Do you have any idea…"

By now, Severus had his hands wrapped around Estella's arms, shaking her firmly into the bed as his voice rose in urgent tones. He truly hadn't meant to get so mad, but he was just so scared of losing her. He wasn't ready to explain.

"It was a Boggart!" Estella blurted out, sobbing with her Uncle's sudden manhandling of her. "Why must you always think the worst of people?"

"I don't believe you." Severus hissed, relinquishing her arms to reveal his own hands were shaking. "I'm sorry I grabbed you." He muttered as an after thought.

"Yeah, well, don't be." Estella said coldly. "The fact you don't trust me hurts more; and you evidently aren't going to apologise for that."

"I have nothing to apologise for." Severus said silkily. "I know you too well. I don't know exactly what you're lying about, but I know you're keeping something from me."

"Oh like I'm the only one keeping secrets." Estella bit back flippantly. "Quit sulking. You're just annoyed because you can't get what you want out of my mind."

Severus froze. Did she know his secret?

"Bring me a Boggart then, if you won't believe me." Estella said arrogantly. "Remus will vouch for me, but if you can't even trust me then I doubt you'll trust him."

"That won't be necessary." Severus said evenly. "Now tell me why you were really in the Tower!"

"I wanted to tell Harry about what my father did to his parents, alright? You happy now?" Estella cried. "Merlin you're not happy unless you know everything, are you?"

"There's more to it than that." Severus said, trying to keep control of his temper. "It is not in your nature to be so antagonistic."

"Oh like you wouldn't be antagonistic if you woke up with someone in your face!" Estella huffed, shooting him a patent Snape sneer. "Leave me alone."

"No." Severus snapped, leaning in so their faces were inches apart, their eyes level. "Legilimens!"

Fuelled by his anger, Severus attacked Estella's mind with a force reserved for Master Occlumens. Estella put up a valiant fight – matching Severus in stubbornness – but still Severus pushed, and pushed. Severus knew the risks, yet blinded by his anger he couldn't stop himself. The more he saw Estella resist him, the more determined he was that she was hiding something, and the harder he pushed. He had gone too far to back off – to back off would be to concede defeat. He had really underestimated Estella's desire to keep her experience a secret, and the more he became aware of that, the more he wanted to know it. It was a vicious cycle.

He could only hope she would forgive him.

What on earth was she hiding?

"Severus!" Remus Lupin was out of his bed and across the room in a flash. He had awoken moments earlier, his sleep disrupted by disturbing noises and the all too familiar scent of fear. The scene he was welcomed with as he roused from slumber was something he'd reserve for his worse nightmares.

Severus was crouched low over his niece's bed with dilated eyes burning manically. Pinning the child down to the bed with one hand, his wand hand levelled his wand between her eyes.

"What are you doing?" Remus roared, trying to pull the out of control man off the defenceless child on the bed.

"Professor Lupin! Professor Snape!" Madame Pomfrey screamed as she barrelled out of her office to see what the disturbance was. "I will not have this kind of behaviour on my ward!… Oh dear Lord, what have you done to the child?"

End Chapter: Fall Out


	66. Recovery

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated: Friday 15th April 2005

**Chapter Sixty Six: Recovery**

Remus, having finally torn Severus from the bed, throwing him in a heap on the floor where he crumpled, unconscious, looked up to follow Madame Pomfrey's shocked eyes. There, left on the bed, was Estella, convulsing uncontrollably, eyes rolling in the back of her head.

"Don't just stand there, help me roll her on her side!" Madame Pomfrey snapped into action.

The lithe werewolf, however, didn't have to be told twice. Hauling himself onto his Goddaughter's cot, he sat against the bed head, pulling Estella onto his lap in an effort to wrap his arms around her and hold her in place.

"Turn her head to the side and have her bite down on this." Madame Pomfrey ordered as she conjured a bite plate, handing it to the shaken man. "She'll choke on her tongue or bite it off otherwise."

"Should… should I hold her still?" Remus asked, his voice cracking. "I don't want to hurt her. What did he do? What's wrong with her?"

"Just keep her from harming herself. Don't try to stop her movement completely with a bruising grip." Madame Pomfrey instructed as she summoned potions from her stores. "Her shock is worsening. It appears her Uncle tried to make her relive whatever sent her into shock by forcing himself into her mind."

The two adults glanced down at the rumpled heap that lay unconscious on the stone floor.

"Are you going to help him?" Remus asked bitterly as the potions in Estella's body finally began to show their calming effects.

"Leave him there to sleep it off." Madame Pomfrey said coolly. She was a compassionate nurse at heart but she had no time for people who caused a child suffering. "I warned him last time that he could do more harm than good; but he just had to keep pushing. The poor child. Like she hasn't been through enough."

"Will she be alright?" Remus asked softly, brushing sweaty strands of hair from the child's face as she lay against his chest, lulled into a peaceful rest by his heartbeat. "What could have caused…"

"Only time will tell." Madame Pomfrey said gravely. "As for what happened, it's likely her mind will try and suppress the memory. She might never remember what happened last night."

"Good." Remus said, shivering at the possibilities as he could detect a familiar scent on the slumbering child. "It'd be for the best."

"My sentiments exactly," Madame Pomfrey nodded towards Severus. "I just wish someone would tell him that."

The man on the floor stirred. Getting up on his own accord, the dishevelled man pulled himself together and stood, straightening his robes briskly, trying to maintain his dignity.

"What's wrong with her now?" Severus said gruffly, taking in the unconscious form of his niece entombed in Remus' arms on the bed. A yearning deep in his heart threatened to break through the walls he had so carefully constructed as he caught himself wishing it was _him_ with his niece in his arms like that.

"And what are you doing, Lupin? You're making her weak, coddling her like that. She's not an infant." He snapped, the cool efficiency of indifference washing over his heart, suppressing his vulnerable… _weaker_… instincts.

Before Remus could get a chance to rebuke the slightly crazed man's words, Madame Pomfrey had positioned herself in front of the potions master and was poking him in the chest.

"You. Out of my infirmary. Now." She said seethingly.

"I will not have you…" Severus snapped back arrogantly. His heart was keening again, reluctant to leave its very reason for beating.

"You did this to her." Pomfrey continued. "I warned you Severus Snape. Now leave before I have you escorted out."

"I will not leave my niece!" He cried out, alarmed. _'What have I done?_' He thought to himself, his stomach churning uncomfortably.

"I will have you arrested for child endangerment if you don't leave my ward this instant!"

"That's preposterous!" Severus spluttered. '_I would die for her!_' His heart bleated silently.

"You interfered with the recovery of one of my patients, Severus." Madame Pomfrey. "You pushed her over the edge."

Severus was ashen. "She'll recover?" He said regretfully. _'I will never forgive myself if she doesn't…_'

"I hope for your sake she does, Professor." Madame Pomfrey said quietly, somewhat sympathetic for the man – after all he had not left his niece's side while she was petrified the year previously. "But I am afraid I will still be needing to ask you to leave."

"When can I come back?" Severus asked, seeing that the stubborn nurse was not about to back down any time soon. '_I hope she forgives me…'_

"I will alert you when the child awakens." Madame Pomfrey assured him. "After that it will depend on if she wants to see you."

Casting Lupin and the nurse a look in parting, Severus nodded shortly and swept out of the infirmary, his robes billowing behind him.

* * *

Three days had passed by with little change. Late on the third evening since Estella was found, she finally began to stir for the second time. 

"Estella…" Remus' voice rumbled deep in his chest as the child's dead weight lay nestled against him. He'd not been content to merely sit at her side, the alpha wolf in him rising to the surface and seeking to smother Sirius' scent with his own.

The child stirred against him. "Mmmoony?" Her voice murmured, dry and raspy from days of not being used.

"Welcome back." Remus said relieved, squeezing his arms around the stretching form of his Goddaughter. Bringing his hand up to brush a hair from her face, Remus was dismayed, however, to feel her tense and shy away. "Shhh… what's the matter, cub?"

The slightest of sighs muffled into his chest as the body in his arms began to relax. "N-nothing." She said quietly. "Where's my Uncle?"

"Madame Pomfrey sent him away." Remus explained. "Are you sure you're alright? You're acting strangely. Do you want me to call the nurse?"

Estella hauled herself up into a sitting position and rested her head on her Godfather's shoulder.

"How much class have I missed?"

He couldn't help himself. He laughed. Almost a week of nervous tension slowly easing itself from his body. "The matter of your education is inconsequential. What matters is that you're alright." He said, mumbling the words into the side of her head as he leaned down to kiss her hair. "No one will try and make you talk about what happened anymore."

Pulling away, Estella tilted her head and narrowed her eyes at her godfather. "You don't want to know what happened?"

"Of course I want to know." Remus said. "But I don't need you to tell me what happened for me to know what occurred."

A small gasp took the breath from Estella's lungs.

"I could smell him on you." Remus explained. "No one else knows."

"Uncle Sev…"

"Your Uncle was just concerned for your welfare. He doesn't take well to being kept in the dark." Remus said, his lips twitching slightly. "Though by the looks of it he will have to get used to it."

"Well I don't want to talk about it." Estella said softly. "It won't change things."

"I wish you would talk to someone though." Remus said, concern furrowing his brow. "I hate seeing you upset like this."

Estella looked away. "I couldn't do it." She said softly.

It took the strength of his werewolf senses to hear what she had said. "Do what, love?"

"Stun him." She said, her breath coming out in a shaky sob. "I could have done it you know."

"Don't blame yourself Estella." Remus cooed in soothing tones. "You may have had your wand, but he had a knife and physicality over you."

"But he put the knife away!" Estella cried out exasperatedly. "I still couldn't do it."

Remus didn't know how to take this latest development. "He didn't try and hurt you?" He asked relieved.

"Of course not." Estella responded, a little too quickly. Her face reddened. "I mean, it all happened so fast! And… and… and… he wasn't like I thought."

"It's alright to be confused, sweetheart." Remus said hesitantly.

"But I let him get away!" Estella cursed herself. "Why did I do that? What if people find out? I will be in trouble."

The older wizard sighed. "Estella, it is perfectly understandable." He said levelly. "No one who has a heart like yours would want to see harm come to a family member."

"But he is bad!" Estella cut in.

"It doesn't matter." Remus said softly. "It's not a good thing that Sirius is still out there, of course, but no one will see reason to hold you accountable for that. No one would expect a mere child to bring him down. He's an extremely powerful wizard who is dangerous and capable of great things. You may have felt you had opportunity but any good Auror would tell you it doesn't pay to provoke such a man without adequate back up. For all you know he may have had a stolen wand hidden in his clothes. Did I ever tell you he was an Auror himself? He is highly trained in evading attack and capture, you were extremely wise not to mess with him."

Mulling it all over in her mind, Estella decided that she suddenly felt a lot better about things. "Thanks Uncle Remus, for knowing what to say."

"I only speak the truth, child." He said warmly as he shifted himself off the bed to stand. "How about some food, mmm? I think I have some chocolate right here…" With that, he wrapped his hand behind Estella's ear to produce a piece of chocolate.

"You know, Moony." Estella said between mouthfuls of the rich creamy substance Remus had popped in her mouth. "It's really getting old, that. I've known for at least the past five years that you pull it out of your sleeve!"

His game foiled, Remus pouted. "Alright, you caught me." He said playfully. "How about I have the nurse fetch us some real food?"

"No need." A drawling voice interjected as Draco Malfoy approached them hovering a tray. "I was coming by to get a daily progress report and was asked to bring the professor his meal. There's more than enough for two."

"Why thankyou Mr Malfoy. Five points to Slytherin for your troubles." Remus said, accepting the tray from the blonde boy.

"You're welcome, Sir." Draco replied smoothly, a creepy smile on his features. "Perhaps, Sir, you would care to take some leave from Miss Black now that she has awaken. Take some time to freshen up? I wouldn't mind staying with the lady so she is not alone."

Remus looked at Estella hesitantly. "Go. I'll be fine." She reassured him. "Besides, you really need a shower."

"Brat." Remus snorted as he left the room, nodding to each of them as a parting gesture.

"So… it's true then." Draco smirked, transfiguring a table and some extra plates and cutlery. "He's your Godfather."

"It was never any secret, Dray." Estella said flippantly as she piled a serving of steaming roast lamb onto her plate. "You just never asked."

"You never saw fit to tell me you Godfather was a halfbreed?" Draco scorned.

"He's not anything of the sort." Estella said defensively, careful not to slip up and reveal her Godfather's secret under the ploy that Draco already knew. "Is there a problem?"

"I just think it's worth noting that my father wasn't aware of Lupin's status." Draco said conversationally, biting into his Yorkshire pudding.

"No offence, but I hardly see how it's any of your father's business." Estella narrowed her eyes. "It's not like my Uncle chose Professor Lupin over him. Lucius was never in the running for the job."

"Of course, I forget that your Uncle only has custodial guardianship over you." Draco said haughtily. "Though why he would consent to you consorting with someone your father associated with…"

"Perhaps it is because he was respecting my mother's wishes!" Estella snapped. "I don't know Draco. It's really a moot point. Maybe my Uncle knew he needed help and went to Remus because asking him for help would be like doing him a favour, rather than my uncle feeling like he owed someone something."

Draco nodded. "No need to get defensive, 'Stell. I just find it peculiar." He said as he served himself another helping of roasted butternut, steeling himself for a confession. "It's not like I am in a position to question someone's status. Not with a bastard for a mother."

"Draco! You shouldn't talk of your mother that way! She's your mother!" Estella chastised him thoroughly. "I don't know what she did to cause your contempt but at least you have a mother."

Sobering slightly. "My Grandmother whored herself out to some stranger and spawned my mother out of wedlock! I try not to take it out on Mother, but do you have any idea what it means for me?" Draco hissed, but altogether looking like a weight had been lifted - the unfortunately proud child having been burdened with a secret for so long. "The blood running through my veins may not be pure!"

"Well you look OK to me." Estella said nonchalantly. "And I dare say your father would not have married your mother without knowing the facts first."

"How long have you known?" Draco said suddenly, his voice cold. "The inference that we're not related by blood doesn't appear to have surprised you."

"I found out a little after you did." Estella admitted calmly. "I know very well it was why you didn't join us that year for Christmas."

"How did you find out? How?" Draco asked, panicking. "Did you overhear my parents? What?"

"I saw a memory in my Uncle's mind." Estella said carefully. "When I fell ill."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Draco said quietly. "Why didn't you tell me you knew?"

"Well Draco if you care to remember I wasn't exactly able to talk much for the rest of the school year!" Estella said, referring to her petrification.

"Yes I know that, but we've been back at school for nearly half a year!" Draco implored.

"I suppose I haven't said anything for the same reason you're only telling me now." Estella said. "I for one have been slightly distracted by current issues being as they are."

"But that's different. I came to tell you only because I didn't want to deceive you into continuing to believe we were related… especially now with him out there. Now I find out your Uncle knows… do you know what that means?"

"That your father would like to see me as your future wife?" Estella said sarcastically.

Draco ran a hand over his face. "I had my suspicions. It would after all make sense." He said. "Why do you know and I don't? I would think I had a right..,"

"Firstly, I found out by accident." Estella said, pausing to take a sip of her Pumpkin Juice. "Secondly, even if my Uncle was in the position to give his consent, he hasn't."

"Is it true then? That your father attacked you in the school?" Draco asked suddenly, changing the subject.

"I don't remember what happened…" Estella lied smoothly. "Or how I ended up in the Gryffindor rooms of all places. Last thing I remember was leaving dinner early so I could finish some work in the library before curfew."

Draco let the matter drop. "Well by any means, it will be hard for us to be bonded with your father loose. Convict or no it's his decision."

"Hardly." Estella growled. "No one makes me do something I don't want to do."

"You wouldn't want to marry me?" Draco asked, hurt. "It's my blood, isn't it? My illegitimate mother's blood! I thought you of all people would understand what it was like to be different! Thanks a lot."

"Whoa! Don't go flying off the broomstick there!" Estella raised her hands in defeat. "I didn't say that! I just have a thing against arranged marriages. I'd prefer to go out and see the world and let fate guide me. It wasn't a personal attack!"

"But can't you see how powerful we could be together?" Draco asked, incredulously. "With our families combined we would have it all! Nothing would be out of our reach!"

"That would be no fun… we would have nothing to work for, no challenge!" Estella yawned, shrugging. "No offence, but 'power' is not really a deciding factor for me."

Draco looked flabbergasted. "Don't tell me you entertain the grand notion of romance?" He gawked. "Do you not care at all for the centuries of purity your forefathers endeavoured to perfect?"

Estella shrugged. "It's not like I'm going to set out to marry a Muggle or anything! Give me some credit!" She snapped, cringing inwardly. "But personally, I can't see myself with someone who throws temper tantrums every time I don't agree with them."

"Fine!" Draco sulked. "You'll change your mind when you're older and see what kind of world we live in, you'll see."

"Don't hold your breath Dray." Estella replied flippantly.

"Why call me that when you don't have any feelings for me?" Draco said.

"I thought feelings were irrelevant, Dray-co!" Estella smirked. "And power was more important." Seeing the blonde Slytherin's icy glare she shook her head. "You have got to lighten up! I'm only 12 for Merlin's sake! There are slightly bigger issues at the moment!"

With an impeccable sense of timing, none other than Harry Potter decided to turn up.

"Hey Estella. Professor Lupin told me at dinner that you'd woken up, I thought I'd come say hi…" Harry said before changing his tone dramatically when he saw Draco. "Malfoy?"

"Potter." Draco spat, standing to face the other boy.

Harry looked uncomfortably between Estella and Draco, taking in their empty dinner dishes. "I, er, see you have company." He said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'll come by later then."

"No don't!" Estella called out as Harry started to turn. "Draco was just leaving, weren't you, Draco?"

Draco narrowed his eyes at Estella and glared openly. "Oh so now you prefer his company over mine!" He whined.

"At the moment anything will be an improvement from your attitude!" Estella said wearily. "I'm tired and a little on edge, all right? I need company that… isn't as taxing on my mind." She gave Harry a relax-I'm-just-letting-him-down-gently look before continuing. "I'd really appreciate it if you could let my Uncle know I'd like to see him before lights out. Could you do that for me, please?"

"Very well." Draco said, being sickeningly polite in the face of his nemesis. "Good night then."

"Bye Draco." Estella said exasperatedly, eager to see the back of him as he left the infirmary without a word to Harry.

"Thank God!" She added as soon as Draco had left the room. "Normally I can put up with his mightier-than-thou attitude but, well, it's been a rough couple of days!"

"I'll say." Harry agreed, sitting down in the chair Draco had vacated.

"Why are you here?" Estella asked, curious.

"I, er, wanted to see how you were." Harry said, his eyes downcast. "I got worried when you didn't wake up after a day."

Estella looked at him with a far away look in her eye. "But I did wake up." She said softly. "Something else happened."

"What?" Harry asked.

* * *

Estella proceeded to tell Harry exactly what had happened over the past couple of days. She didn't know why, but she always felt as though she could tell the boy-who-lived anything and he would just understand. Maybe it was because he was raised by Muggles and didn't hold the same prejudices as most of the other people she knew; she wasn't sure. 

"…so, what was it like?" Harry asked, interested. "Meeting him for the first time?"

"Hardly a scene from a corny telemovie, Harry." Estella said sadly. "He looked absolutely terrible… he smelled really bad, and he had things growing in his hair, I'm sure of it."

"Ugh." Harry said, screwing his face up. "The prison system here seems a lot harsher than in the Muggle world."

"Worse." She looked away, her mind someplace else.

"D'you think maybe he'd want to see you again?" Harry asked, breaking the silence. "I mean, he's your father."

"He's a convicted criminal Harry." Estella said. "He may as well be dead to me."

"How can you say that?" Harry snapped. "You have a parent who is alive! How could you waste…"

Estella sighed. "You don't know what he did, Harry!" She cried, unshed tears blurring her vision. "It's all so confusing. I thought he wouldn't care."

"What, about you?"

"He let his allegiances take him away from his family, Harry. He chose to be a criminal over being a parent." Estella said. "But… but… but…"

"Maybe he's having regrets?" Harry finished for her. Estella nodded mutely, the lump in her throat preventing words from coming out.

"He was crying, Harry." She whispered hoarsely, a lone tear cascading down her cheek. "I…I…I… don't know, I felt something. But it's wrong. He… he… it's a life sentence, Harry. There is no forgive and forget."

"Will you tell your Uncle?" Harry asked finally, changing the subject. "It was bloody low what he tried to do… but he obviously really wants to know."

"That's why he will never know, Harry." Estella said defiantly. "He has always hated my father, he will never understand why I can't."

"What, hate him?" Harry elaborated. Estella nodded.

"I could have stopped him. He put away his knife! I could have stunned him and they could have caught him and he would have gotten the Dementor's Kiss and the manhunt would have been over. That's what my uncle would have wanted me to do, and I couldn't do it." Estella confessed. "It's the Dementor's Kiss, Harry! He… he… may have done terrible things; but I couldn't be the one to condemn him to that. He gave me life – to have been responsible for his capture would be like, I don't know, betraying that somehow."

"I think I understand," Harry empathised. "No matter what our parents do, there's always a connection there. Before I came to Hogwarts I didn't even know my parent's names. All my Aunt and Uncle would say was that they were layabouts and no-hopers. I didn't know if they cared for me or wanted me or loved me… but I couldn't help but love them anyway. They were my parents."

Estella let out a shaky breath, pushing back the vile feeling of guilt that stabbed at her heart at the idea of Harry growing up not knowing his parents. "I knew you'd get it."

Harry nodded. "Besides, Estella, it would have been too risky for you to take on your father by yourself." He said sternly. "He could have had a wand on him somewhere, or he could have over-powered you physically."

"That's what Remus said." Estella pouted. "But I'm not weak, I could have taken him!"

"I have no doubt you are strong, Estella." Harry said. "But it would be foolish to take on an opponent you do not know how strong they are."

Estella laughed.

"Well that was truly profound, coming from you of all people!" Estella smirked.

Harry blushed, before laughing along with her. Estella relaxed back into her pillows relieved.

Things were going to be alright.

End Chapter: Recovery


	67. Why Didn't You Tell Me?

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated: Sunday 17th April 2005

**Chapter Sixty Seven: Why Didn't You Tell Me?**

Estella was lucky that her Godfather had intervened during the Occlumency attack, for she suffered no memory damage. After being released from the infirmary a week later, Estella had returned to the Ravenclaw dormitories to discover her trunk and all of her belongings had been shifted down into the dungeon quarters her Uncle inhabited just like her Uncle had told her when she had first awoken.

"No way!" She roared as she stormed into the living rooms of her Uncle's chambers, intent on retrieving her belongings and leaving. She had tried fruitlessly to have a Ravenclaw house elf to fetch them for her, but only Lena was allowed to enter the rooms, and she would only answer to whomever was in the dungeon quarters at the time. It was positively infuriating.

"May I enquire as to the cause of your tone?" Severus asked silkily, looking up at her from a book as she blew through into his sanctuary. "I really must protest against it."

"Protest against this, then!" She snapped, storming into her room and slamming the door shut.

Severus flinched, his jaw clenching irritably. As much as he wanted to chastise the insubordinate child for her shameless display of disrespect, he knew he would only be adding fuel to the fire if he confronted her in such a mood. Especially after his shameful behaviour in the infirmary. Part of him had been cowardly hoping that she didn't remember it and he could have gotten away with just pretending it didn't happen.

Moments later, Estella emerged from her room, hot and flushed, dragging her trunk behind her.

Glancing up at her nonchalantly, Severus raised an eyebrow. "Where do you think you're going with that?" He asked softly, yet firmly.

"Back to my dorms, where I belong." She said just as firmly, crossing the room and trying the door, which was locked.

"You will do no such thing!" Severus said sternly, rising from his chair. "I regret what happened in the infirmary, but I must insist. You will be staying here until you tell me what happened that night. We need to resolve this."

Estella sneered, putting her trunk down against the door and siting on it languidly. "Oh goodie. No classes." She said flippantly, crossing her arms defiantly. "Let's bond."

"Estella, I only want what's best for you. I'm your Uncle and guardian, I do not think I am asking too much to know what happened so I can assess the safety of your environment." Severus said between clenched teeth. "Therefore you will attend your classes and live here otherwise until I know unequivocally that it is safe for me to leave you alone."

'_I need to know that you're not going to run to him, Estella_…' His mind silently continued.

"Well that's no fun." Estella said, bored, as she stood up, smirking. "Reducio" She pointed her wand at her trunk, shrinking it with the spell so she could carry it in her pocket. "Gotta love being able to do magic at home."

"Estella!" Severus said warningly, rounding the couch jerkily to intervene. "I said…"

"Bombarda!" Estella cast the blasting curse at the door, ignoring her Uncle as the broken door swung open.

Running now, Estella was shaking all over. Never in her life had she been so blatantly disobedient… and it was scaring her just how liberating it was.

"Estella!" Her Uncle growled breathlessly as his longer legs caught up with her easily, pulling her to a stop by force. "How dare you…"

"No!" Estella interrupted. "How dare you!"

Severus froze. His mind was awash with insecurities and fear… he still didn't know if she knew; and all her actions so far had suggested to him that maybe she did.

Dropping his hand from her arm, he gave her a piercing look. "It's not safe for you."

"If it's so unsafe why aren't all the other students being locked in the dungeons?" She asked haughtily. "I thought prison was supposed to be for criminals."

Severus cringed. '_Let me be reading too far into that comment!_' He told himself over and over. The uncertainty of not knowing was eating at him in a way he would never have expected.

"I'm just trying to do what's right for you…" He said, his tone almost pleading.

"Oh right. Like invading my mind to satisfy your own perverse desire to know everything and making me relive it was in my best interests, huh?" She snapped, pulling away. "I'm still here, Uncle Sev! Why do you need to know what happened? Why can't you let it drop?"

"Because…" Severus said weakly before he was interrupted.

"No, Uncle Sev, I don't care about your reasons." She said sadly. "All I know is that after what you did I don't think I would be comfortable staying with you."

"That's absurd!" Severus said, wiping a hand over his face in exasperation. "You don't trust me, is that it?"

"How do I know you won't try and break into my mind in my sleep?" Estella said, her voice broken as tears started to form. "I want to trust you, really I do, but you just don't help yourself there. And to think you accuse the Gryffindors of being impulsive and foolish!"

Severus stood, mouth agape. Estella continued. "I just need some time, alright, Uncle Sev?" She pleaded. "I'll still come around like I have been; but I want to be around my friends and be like all the other students as well, alright? Those that aren't my friends are already looking at me funny and talking about me – appearing to be locked in the dungeons 'for my safety' will only make things worse."

"I suppose when you put it that way." Severus said wearily. "I still do not care for how you were conducting yourself earlier, however."

"Don't expect me to apologise." Estella said resolutely, her head held high. "Your conduct has hardly been commendable either… let's call it even."

"I will be more than happy to account for my actions if you follow in my stead." Severus said stubbornly.

"I don't care to hear your apologies." Estella sighed. "I want you to earn back my trust."

With that, Estella turned on her heel and left, her robes billowing behind her, leaving a shaken Potions Master in her wake. She was halfway to the Ravenclaw common room, however, when she was suddenly started from her reverie by the vicious screeching of Argus Filch's darned cat. Diverting her course to investigate, Estella was bemused to see that the mangy old Mrs Norris had managed to corner a poor unfortunate rat.

Her mind flicking back to an almost forgotten promise made almost half a lifetime previously, Estella flicked out her wand.

"Accio rat!" She summoned the rat to her, clearing it from the cat's wrath. Then, turning her attention to the cat that was now giving her a threatening look, she pointed her wand again. "Expelliarmus!"

Mrs Norris was sent flying down the corridor as a result of the disarming spell. Estella smirked, it worked every time. Some may say she was being inhumanely cruel, but short of giving the cat a flying lesson, she wasn't doing any harm. Damn thing always managed to land on her feet.

Casting her attentions to the rat that was squirming frantically as she held it disdainfully by the tail, Estella couldn't help but be filled with a strange sense of de ja vu. She never really cared that much for rats. When her Godfather had given her a toy rat to add to her soft toy collection and had offered to make stories up about him, she had freaked out and thrown the ugly looking thing in the fire.

"You wiggle like a worm, you know that?" She screwed up her nose at the vile little rodent in her hand. "If I was going to keep you I think I'd call you Wormtail."

The rat in question froze. Assuming it was in shock, Estella held it up for closer inspection. "My you certainly look like you've gotten through a few scrapes." She said, noting the creature's missing toe. "And they say cats have nine lives!"

'Wormtail' started squirming again. Estella chuckled. "I'm not going to feed you to any cats, don't worry." She mused, continuing her way down the hallway. "Though I should take you to my Godfather, he's a Professor. He'll be able to find out if you belong to anyone."

Bypassing the Ravenclaw rooms for the time being, Estella headed towards the Defence teacher's quarters instead.

"Honestly, Wormy, I'm gonna have to stun you if you don't stop wiggling!" She admonished the rodent as she climbed the stairs. "If I drop you Mrs Norris will find you!"

As the rat only increased his efforts to escape, Estella frowned. Staring at it intently, something else caught her mind.

'_Beware the rat._' Her father had said. She almost dropped the rat in realisation. In the back of her mind, pieces of the dream she'd had whilst in Gryffindor tower flashed into her conscious mind, mixing with the very foggy memory of refusing to allow the toy Wormtail to become one of her Marauder toys.

"Grey eyes?" She said distantly, her mind struggling to piece the abstract images together. "Beware the rat? What does it mean? Does it mean anything?… Maybe Remus will know… do you think I should ask Moony, Wormtail?"

The rat tried to bite her, but Estella was too quick, holding the offensive rodent in a way that would prevent it from hurting her. "Well!" She said indignantly. "If that's how you show gratitude, I might go feed you to the damn cat after all!"

"What are you doing with Scabbers?" A furious voice hissed from behind her.

"Oh hi Harry." Estella said conversationally. "You know who this belongs to?"

Harry snatched Scabbers from Estella. "You were going to feed her to Mrs Norris!"

"No Harry! I saved him from the cat! He was trying to bite so I told him off for being ungrateful and threatened…" She explained lightly before taking in the murderous look on his face. "…Harry? What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Harry mocked, his tone seething at her. "What's wrong? Didn't you think I had a right to know what your father did? Ow! Scabbers!"

Harry dropped Scabbers, nursing a nipped finger as the rat ran out of sight. Estella paled.

"Harry… I…" Estella stumbled over her words. "I didn't know until recently, I swear on my Mother."

"I don't care." Harry spat. "You've had plenty of chances to tell me! You could have told me that night in the infirmary, but no, you were too busy getting me to tell you it was OK to let him get away!"

Estella began to sob. "Please, let us go somewhere and talk about this!" She said pleadingly. "Why do you think I went to Gryffindor Tower that night, Harry? I was waiting for you! To tell you then! I couldn't handle you not knowing…"

"Why did you wait until then?" Harry asked accusingly.

"Because I knew you'd hate me when you found out!" Estella blurted.

"Well you're right about one thing." Harry said darkly.

"Harry, please, you can't mean that!" Harry gasped.

"No Estella! Everything you've said has been a lie! Everything! Even if you didn't know it was a lie to begin with!" He said.

"Don't you think I don't know that!" Estella pleaded. "That's why I couldn't find the right way to tell you! I felt sick! I wouldn't have… if I had known!"

"Let me finish. I felt connected to you because you were a part of the life that was taken away from me." Harry said forlornly. "But now you are just a reminder of why… of how… my parents died in the first place."

Estella lowered her head, her bottom lip trembling uncontrollably. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry." She looked up, her watery grey eyes flinching at the cold green steel that tore into her. "I hope one day you will be able to see past it. I… I… you're a good person, Harry."

"Maybe I could have." Harry said, looking at her coolly. "Had you not indulged yourself like that when you were in the infirmary. How could you have asked that of me without me knowing?"

"I'm… I'm… sorry, Harry, truly I am!" Estella said. "It's no excuse, but I had just been to hell and back… I didn't know what I was thinking…"

"Hell and back?" Harry snapped, spittle landing on his chin. "Hell and back! I'll give you hell and back! Try living for 10 years in a cupboard, with people who hated you and called you a freak every day whilst you did all the chores and grew up thinking that your parents didn't love you!" He paused. "From how I see it, you've had it pretty good. Your Uncle may be a bit hard, but at least he cares. You have a Godfather that worships the ground you walk on and would never betray your parents… and now you've had an encounter with your father – who is alive still – and you liken the fact he actually seemed happy to see you as being a trip to Hell and back? How could you be so… so… so… cruel… so… selfish? I will never see my parents again! Never see them cry, never smell them or have them look at me! And it's all his fault!"

"Oh Harry…" Estella sobbed, unable to find the words to douse her friend's anger. Everything he had said was true.

"Stay away from me, Black." He said venomously, his eyes shinning with his own tears. "Maybe Ron was right about you after all."

Looking at her one last time with a look of hurt and betrayal on his face, he brushed past her and headed towards the Gryffindor Tower. Her shoulders heaving uncontrollably, and her eyes brimming with tears, Estella held back a strangled sob as she turned and ran in the opposite direction from Harry; towards her Godfather's rooms.

* * *

"Estella?" Remus shot up from behind the desk in his office, knocking over his cup of tea and unsettling his paperwork in the process. "What's wrong?" 

The distraught child responded by throwing herself in her Godfather's arms and sobbing uncontrollably. Wracking his mind frantically, Remus could hardly think of a time when he'd seen the child that upset.

"Did your Uncle do this to you?" He growled protectively, cupping the child's moist face in his hands. "I swear if he hurt you in some way…"

"No, no…" Estella managed between hiccuping sobs. "It hic wasn't hic him."

"Who then? Malfoy?" Remus asked, clutching at wand cores.

"H-h-h-harry!" Estella cried out. "He knows everything! He h-h-h-hates m-m-me!"

Remus sighed. Pulling the child into a firm embrace he rubbed soothing circles on her back and cooed in her ear. "Hush there, cub. I'm sure Harry doesn't blame you. He'll come around once the news sinks in…"

'_How in Merlin **did** the boy find out_?' His mind was reeling.

"But I was awful! I was selfish and inconsiderate!" Estella admonished herself, lowering her eyes. "I shouldn't have waited…"

Swallowing hard, Remus tilted Estella's chin so that their eyes were level. "Look at me." He directed softly. "Just give him time. He will realise how difficult it would have been for you to tell him; he will understand eventually."

Letting out a shaky sigh, Estella squeezed her eyes shut. "I-I-I don't know, Moony." She said quietly, the worst of her sobs over. "J-just hold me for a while, please?"

Tightening his grip, Remus kissed the child firmly on the top of the head as she buried her face in his chest. Ever since she was a infant, she'd always found comfort in the steadying beat of his heart.

"You never have to ask, cub. You never have to ask."

End Chapter: Why Didn't You Tell Me?


	68. Echoes

Review Responses

Rocks-my-socks: It wasn't so much that Severus mucked up when he moved Estella's stuff to his quarters, he had informed her of that when she had first regained consciousness and she was alright with it… at first.

BabeBunny: LOL yes, I felt like my fingers were going to drop off in protest from that chapter, but I drew inspiration from Harry's general state of mind throughout OotP: i.e. totally irrational.

Silly Penguin: Well there's no real reason for Estella to tell Remus about the rat… it's just a rat to her, and altogether overshadowed by the conversation she'd had with Harry. Without actually seeing the rat, however, I doubt Remus would suspect that the toe-less rat was Wormtail. Plenty of rodents get limbs knocked off etc.

Estelle: I guess on some level Harry can't disassociate Estella from her father anymore than Severus separates him from James.

IamSiriusgrl: I was a bit worried that Harry's mood swing was a bit over the top, but then I only had to reread certain scenes in OotP…

Pickledishkiller: OMG I can't believe I've actually succeeded in turning people against Harry :P I feel sorry for both of them though… they were drawn together because of a shared family history, and torn apart for the same reason. Harry will think a little differently once he finds out Sirius is innocent. Of course it will then be a matter of whether or not Estella will forgive her. :P

applebottoms: Interesting twist, but sorry, it was Harry.

Daughter of Darkness777: The whole notion of 'sticks and stones' vs. words being harmless is such a backwards analogy, and it's unfortunate your school seems to implement it. From their perspective it must be hard to persecute students for verbal harassment (i.e. lack of physical evidence) but there is no excuse for at least keeping a closer eye on 'suspects'. OK, now I've pulled my POA out of it's box set (actually I yanked it and sent all five books flying…) Now, in Chapter Four, Harry is heading downstairs to get Scabber's things (oh the irony…) and he's halfway down the hallway leading to the bar when he overhears Molly and Arthur talking about Sirius Black's escape and how the Ministry believes that he's out to 'kill' Harry. Now he's hardly going to hold it against Estella that her father is crazy and possibly out to kill either one or both of them. It's not until Chapter ten in the book when Harry is under the table in the Three Broomsticks with Hermione and Ron when they overhear the conversation between Professor McGonagall, Professor Flitwick, Hagrid, Cornelius Fudge and Madam Rosmerta which detailed Sirius' betrayal as secret keeper and that he was Harry's Godfather.

Moonfire-lovr: You're right, Severus was blinded by his fear when he legilimised Estella. A point worth noting, however, is that (later) when Severus is 'teaching' Harry Occlumency he is more intent on using the process as a way to ridicule and intimidate Harry than actually teach him anything; whereas he has a vested interest in ensuring his niece's ability to occlude her mind so her experiences with legilimency are not as invasive, bar this one time, which as I said, Severus is acting out of concern more than a malicious desire to invade her privacy.

Chiriri: Ah well congratulations on your Mum's pregnancy I guess. Not so good about her bigoted boss sacking her like that though. Good luck with the internet problem… I don't know about where you are, but I know here the local libraries etc have free access. It's just getting to them, gah! I've been in this position before (no internet at home), so a word of advice: write a to-do list of things you need to do online, because then when you DO get access to a PC with the net you will make a most productive use of the precious little time you get (particularly helpful if you have to resort to paying at a net café like I had to when I was on holiday a few years ago)

Curlious: Thanks, I am glad you can see that!

A.S. Leif: Thanks for reviewing, it's always good to 'meet' readers.

Whit Black: I must admit it's hard to write the POV of a 12yo when I myself am a little older than that. But then again, she was raised by Severus Snape, and I like to think she still has her 12yo moments LOL. Ah you were reading this for that long? Guess you can consider it training for when Half Blood Prince comes out, hey, because like we'll all be able to put that down, not. Well actually, if it's as depressing as OotP I may seriously consider the therapeutic act of screaming at it and seeing how well it bounces off my wall, but there you go :P (looks over at her extremely battered copy of OotP guiltily… no I did not succumb to the voices in my head that wanted me to tear out that chapter and pretend it never occurred :P)

NiqueSnape: It's very tempting to make things all happy and fluffy but I mean you just wouldn't get two characters like Estella and Severus getting along 24/7! Actually I don't think Estella would get along with ANYONE all of the time. You know I was going to have Ron in the Scabbers scene, but it would have gotten too crowded. I've already established that Ron doesn't really trust her, and he has even more reason to distrust her in a later chapter as it is, so it would have been a moot point including him. Plus I felt it was important to have Harry reach this moment on his own. If Ron had been there injecting his two bob's worth it would have cheapened Harry's response, if you get what I mean (sorry, caffeine wearing off).

Julia: I'm glad you agree about the relationship thing. I'm halfway through writing Estella's third year at the moment, around which time Draco will be facing a few pivotal decisions in his life and Harry and Estella will reconcile and continue down the innocent 'brother-sister' path. At this stage I am planning on ending it over the Summer at the end of her third year around the time Harry and the Weasleys converge upon Grimmauld Place and the Order is reformed. Then maybe after book six comes out I may be inspired to write a sequel that follows on into OotP and HBP, but until then, the end of GOF is as good a place as any.

Thanks also to: Red-head Hufflepuff attack, Joou Himeko Dah, Callie

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated: Tuesday 19th April 2005

**Chapter Sixty Eight: Echoes.**

Christmas was a glum affair. As usual, the staff and students that remained over the holidays sat together at one table in the centre of the room. Estella, therefore, had to endure the entire meal sitting across from Harry and Ron who would do nothing but glare at her and grunt inconsequential requests like 'Pass the gravy'. She had her Uncle on one side, and her Godfather on the other. Her Uncle was sulking, muttering not-so-nice things about the Headmaster for conjuring a seat for Professor Trelawney – the Divination teacher and a woman he couldn't stand – right next to him; and was hardly in a good mood. Remus on the other hand, looked torn between being accommodating to Harry because the boy was a orphan and he, his teacher; or vehemently defending his godchild against the withering glares she was suffering. The poor man couldn't decide on either, so he decided to sit on the fence and not say anything at all.

Tense was an understatement.

To make matters worse, Estella had received a mysterious gift in her Christmas stocking that morning. Normally, the stocking at the end of the bed only held such things as Honeydukes sweets and chocolates (from Remus) and things like crystal vials, inkwells and quills (from her Uncle). This year, however, shaking out the bottom of the stocking revealed a small square box – about the size of a small votive candle – wrapped in brown paper. The moment she'd touched it, shivers ran down her spine.

Something told her it was from her father.

Whilst part of her felt warmed by the gesture, another part felt equally disgusted and guilty. Guilty, because across the castle, a certain boy was facing another Christmas without his parents because of the man who had given her the gift she held in her hand. As curious as she was to see what was inside, she couldn't bring herself to open it. She'd thrown it deep in a drawer of her desk, burying it in scrap pieces of parchment and broken nibs.

'_Later_' She'd told herself.

Later turned out to be well into the new term. Remus had in the meantime, tried talking sense into Harry, but the boy was still so consumed in his hatred of her father that he couldn't see past it. It was just like her Uncle and his inexorable view of all things Potter. The irony certainly didn't escape her.

'_He thinks your Father deserves the kiss_.' Remus had told her sadly. '_He still resents that you don't feel the same._'

Estella went through the motions of her classes with a calm sense of monotonous efficiency. She studied with her friends, handed in her work, and followed the same routine day in day out in the hope that the regimented structure of her life would bring balance to the out-of-control frenzy her heart and soul was in.

It wasn't working.

She'd managed to have a bit of a laugh when Draco and some of the Slytherins had dressed up as Dementors to spook Harry during his Quidditch match against her house. Draco was funny to attempt such a thing (and actually expect to get away with it) and Harry was funny for actually falling for it. It unnerved her, however, when she felt another stab of de ja vu upon seeing the form of Harry's Patronus. A stag.

'_Prongs?_' A voice echoed from her subconscious, drawing the rather odd correlation between the magical emanation and the childhood fairy tale character.

Her line of thought, however, was distracted by the feeling of pride she got for realising how great a teacher her Godfather really was. The Patronus Charm was no easy feat, and yet Harry had wielded it so effectively all thanks to her Godfather's tutoring. OK so the Dementors he attacked were hardly real, but not a lot of people could cast a form. She was further distracted by the look of abstract horror on her Uncle's face when the 'Dementors' had been unveiled as four of his Slytherins. It always put him in a difficult position when the students in his house flaunted their disregard for the rules so openly, because it meant Severus had to make a show of defending them. Estella knew her Uncle well enough to know that he could not tolerate misbehaviour from anyone, and that having to favour his own house for the sake of appearances really got his back up.

The puzzle that was starting to mould into shape in her mind was set aside for another time.

* * *

Sirius knew the risks of sneaking back into Hogwarts, but he had to do it. Circumstances had caused him to miss another of his daughter's birthdays, and Pettigrew was still on the loose. Smuggling the Christmas gifts for his 'children' into the school had been comparatively easy on account of the high volume of gifts going in and out of the school at that time of year. To save the children from being disrupted by Owl deliveries on Christmas mornings, parents and friends sending students gifts were required to direct their deliveries to a special department of House Elves, who relished in partaking in the roles of their fabled north pole cousins once a year by being the one to deliver gifts as instructed.

This time, however, Sirius wanted to deliver his correspondence personally. In his covert observation of his child he had been unable to detect his gift on her person, and that fact concerned him. What if she had never received it?

Sneaking into the Ravenclaw rooms first (an easy task on account of the frequency he had used to visit Selina's dorm in his youth to plant surprises around her bed), Sirius felt like he had been transported twenty years into the past as he first laid eyes on his daughter's slumbering form. As much as Estella resembled her mother, however, Sirius was heartened to recognise traits of his own in the child.

Her hair was tousled into a wild mass of waves, simultaneously fanning out across her pillow and falling across her face in haphazard rivulets, was much like his own. Approaching her bed cautiously, Sirius' heart leapt to notice that she even slept like him… sprawled all over the place. Her bedclothes were thrown and twisted, one pillow was on the floor, and Estella herself was half hanging off the bed.

Drawing the curtains around his daughter's bed closed – cocooning him out of view from the other sleeping occupants in the room – Sirius risked a hand to Estella's head, loving the way her soft, clean hair felt under his calloused fingers. Absently brushing an errant strand of hair out of the sleeping child's face, Sirius froze when he felt Estella lean into the touch. Recoiling his hand as though stung, the wanted fugitive braced himself for discovery, but was relieved to find out that his daughter was as heavy a sleeper as he had once been. Chancing more contact, Sirius then concentrated on gently rearranging the contorted form of the restless sleeper so that she would not wake up with aches. Replacing the fallen pillow and straightening out the blankets over the shivering form, Sirius relished the task of tucking his daughter in for the first time. Her pyjamas – soft faded flannelette in shades of purple, and navy had dancing silver stars on them – was warm with sleep and smelt of lavender soap and vanilla musk. Locating an all too familiar stuffed dog at her feet, Sirius held the toy of his creation to his face and tried to breathe in the years of experience the recreation of his animagus self had lived in his stead before tucking it in beside the child. Resting his weight on his hands as they splayed either side of the child, Sirius leant in and kissed Estella on the forehead tenderly.

"Goodnight, my love." He breathed into her hair, reluctant to pull away empty handed. Beneath him, Estella sighed contently and curled up on her side, her beloved toy dog entombed securely in her arms.

With a lingering caress to his daughter's exposed head, Sirius gathered himself and completed what he had come to do. Pulling his letter from a pocket in his stolen robe, Sirius propped the envelope on her bedside table before disappearing into the shadows once more.

For him, his night was just beginning. He still had a rat to go catch. Only then would he be free to watch his daughter sleep.

* * *

Estella awoke the day after the Quidditch match refreshed with an innate sense of calm and peace. It didn't take long, however, for that mood to change; for in the night, her Father had gone and trashed Ron's bed while he was in it; and in the night, she got mail. The envelope was yellowing and wrinkled, the scratchy, unpractised script on the front black and unfamiliar. Late for breakfast, she had shoved the letter in a pocket of her robes, not giving it another thought. Whilst most of the students received their mail by Owl post in the morning, Estella was used to finding notes by her bed from any one of the men in her life; and though she knew straight away it wasn't from either of them, it didn't quite occur to her at the time just who it might have been.

Breakfast time, and Estella was confronted with the news of her father's latest 'attack'.

"Did you go running to Daddy and tell him I never trusted you or something?" Ron had shrieked at her. "I bet you even know where he's hiding!"

Harry and the other Gryffindors glared at her suspiciously as she took her seat at her table nearby, the insults continuing to fly.

"Her father tried to kill me and she doesn't even bat an eyelid!" Ron continued, rallying support from his classmates as they all huddled to hear how he saw Sirius Black up close and lived to tell the tale. "She's not even sorry."

As Estella stared lifelessly into her cereal, stirring the now soggy lumps of wheat around the pool of milk, she could vaguely overhear Hermione try and defend her. She smiled. She'd bumped into Hermione a few times in the library of late and heard all about his pet rat's apparent death and how Hermione and Ron were hardly talking to each other any more because Ron thought Hermione's familiar Crookshanks had done it. Straightening her back, Estella found strange comfort in the fact that the impulsive redhead had a habit of jumping to conclusions. His opinion didn't matter.

Due to the attack – which was confirmed by an announcement by the Headmaster to be true – the first classes of the day had been cancelled so that the staff could increase the castle's security. Estella decided to take the time to enjoy the early spring weather by spending the morning by the lake, under the old oak tree, with a book.

Conjuring a mossy green rug out of a green leaf she found by the lake's shore, Estella propped herself up against the trunk of the tree and looked out over the horizon. Leaning to her side to pull a book out of her bag, she noticed something etched into the trunk of the tree. The initials "S.B + S.S" stood out to her encased in a magically carved love heart. Running her fingers over it reverently, she tried to convince herself that the initials could have belonged to anybody, but somehow she just knew it was her parents.

Shivers going down her spine, Estella suddenly remembered the letter she had put in her pocket that morning. Pulling it out, she opened the flap (there was no wax seal), uncovered the letter and read.

'_Dearest Estella,_' the letter began.

_As I write this I have just come back from watching you at the Quidditch pitch. You looked so sad… distracted, perhaps, and I could not help but feel responsible. I'm sorry if I scared you, that night in the Tower. I did not expect to be meeting you that way, that night. Forgive me for not having the power to truly speak in your presence._

_There's so much I need to say to you. So much you need to know… but it cannot be told in a letter. I'm working everyday to try and change things so that we may have the opportunity to work things out, but the odds seem stacked against us I am afraid. Hopefully plans I have in motion will soon come into fruition and people will finally see the light. Every night I dream of the life we could have led. Could still lead._

_I cannot express how it touched my heart to see you smile today. You have your mother's smile. She would have loved you so much, you know. So much. As misdirected as the prank those Slytherins pulled today was, it reminded me of the past. Innocence. My childhood. Have Remus tell you about the time he and I bewitched the ink on your mother's four foot long History of Magic essay to disappear. It was only temporary, mind you; but she didn't know that at first…_

_Your mother and I wanted to give you the world, Estella. I'm sorry that we failed you. The pendant I left for you at Christmas (I do hope you didn't have your Uncle take it away) was something your mother and I picked out together before you were born._

_The pendant is black pearl; its heart, a red ruby. Both are your birthstones. The pearl is said to offer those born under the Scorpio sign calm and solace in troubled times, while the ruby is believed to give the bearer the faith and courage to face the world. May you find all of this and more, sweetheart, and know that it comes from your parents with all the love in their hearts._

The letter was unsigned as a unfortunate ink blot had signalled a broken nib, but Estella had no doubt in her mind who had sent it. As confused as it made her feel, she couldn't help but feel the love coming out of the words… the biggest paradox of all being that his letter sounded nothing like the words of a crazed, traitorous, cold-blooded killer. Estella didn't know how to take it. All she knew was that she needed to get back down to her bedroom in the dungeons and find that pendant. For some reason she just felt compelled to wear it.

* * *

The opportunity to retrieve the pendant didn't happen until a couple of weeks later. Her Uncle and Godfather had both been rostered to accompany the older students to Hogsmeade, and so Estella had uninterrupted access to her old 'home'. Upon opening the badly wrapped box, Estella was astounded by the pendant's beauty. One dilemma she faced, however, was wearing it undetected; so she stored it in her pocket until she was able to concoct a viable cover story for how she had got it… or find an appropriate notice-me-not charm or potion to apply to it. The actuality that it would not actually be visible from under her school robes anyway had yet to occur to her – that would be too easy.

It was some time later that afternoon while she sat in her Uncle's office, waiting for him to return from Hogsmeade so she could see what he'd bought back from the apothecary; that she bore witness to a most intriguing sight. When her Uncle had strode into his office, a thoroughly chastened Harry moping in his wake, Estella had been expecting her Uncle to send her out, but instead he let her listen as he belittled Harry and the memory of his father.

Whilst part of Estella felt bad for Harry and wanted to interrupt – her Uncle's method of punishment for whatever Harry had been caught doing was hardly professional – another part of her knew that her Uncle was going to efforts to ensure she witnessed this. It was her Uncle's somewhat aloof way of cheering her up in the aftermath of the fights and cold shoulders she had been getting from the stubborn Gryffindor of late. Bless, the man's heart seemed to be in the right place, but as Estella was watching the pair spar she couldn't help but think this would only serve to drive Harry further away from her.

That, however, was probably the point to her Uncle's tirade. She groaned inwardly.

"Let me see, let me see…" her uncle said, coming towards her where she sat at his desk to smooth out a piece of parchment he had just confiscated from Harry. "Reveal your secret!" He commanded, touching his wand to the old, yellowing page.

Estella looked at the parchment, to her Uncle, to Harry. OK so she had zoned out a little between Harry's accusation that Draco was suffering hallucinations and her Uncle's low stab at Harry's father; but she didn't think she had missed that much of the conversation. It was a blank piece of parchment!

'_Have Remus tell you about the time he and I bewitched the ink on your mother's four foot long History of Magic essay to disappear_.' The reference from her father's letter came to mind, causing Estella's eyes to narrow as suspiciously at the parchment as her Uncle's were.

"Professor Severus Snape, master of this school, commands you to yield the information you conceal!" Her Uncle continued, hitting the parchment with his wand in frustration.

To Estella's surprise and utter amazement, words began appearing on the parchment; as though drawn by an invisible hand.

'_Mr Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business._'

Estella's eyes narrowed into small slits. '_What on earth?… Moony_?'

The writing continued.

'_Mr Prongs agrees with Mr Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git_.'

Estella stifled a gasp, taking in her Uncle's seething rage and Harry's dumbstruck look of terror. The sudden recollection of Harry's Patronus and its likeness to her toy 'Prongs' came to mind. Another piece clicked into place. '_James Potter?_'

_'Mr Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a Professor._'

Estella froze. She recognised that handwriting. It was her father's penmanship. Suddenly she realised where she had seen those grey eyes before…

'_Oh my God_.' Her mind screamed, her eyes widening in realisation. '_Moony… Prongs… Padfoot… Wormtail… they aren't stories about made up animals, they were nick names for her father and his friends! They were animagi!_'

She could barely register the last comment by Wormtail, her mind was like putty. Her father had not only seen her in Gryffindor Tower, but in London, in his dog form. And the rat, alright so rats were dime a dozen, but she'd even christened Ron's pet Wormtail! OK so it wasn't the rat (Peter had after all died that day in the alley, right?) but Merlin, that dog was definitely her father. And it suddenly made sense for Harry's Patronus to be a stag. But it was weird. The 'Padfoot' in Remus' stories was loyal and brave. Sirius Black was a traitorous coward who did a Dark Lord's bidding. Things didn't add up. And what did her father mean about 'beware the rat'? Was he implying that Peter – Wormtail – was alive? It was all so confusing.

Before she knew it her said Godfather was in the room, her Uncle trying to determine where Harry got the parchment from. Her mind lost in thought, she looked at Harry curiously. Just where did he find it? She knew for certain it wasn't any Zonko's product like Remus and Harry were suggesting. The werewolf seemed to be avoiding her gaze. He must have known she'd have seen what the parchment said… the look on his face wasn't just concern for Harry, surely. And what did her uncle mean by Harry _'…getting it direct from the manufacturers_'? Remus had been spending a lot of time with Harry lately… but that was just supposed to be for tutoring, right? An unfamiliar surge of jealously coursed through her veins. Why did she feel like she was missing out on something important? Did Harry know who these Marauders really were? Is that how Harry got to possess the marauding parchment? Why would Remus tell him but keep it from her then?

It wasn't fair.

No longer up for a conversation with her Uncle, Estella made up an excuse to head back to her Common Room as soon as Harry, Ron (who turned up halfway through) and Remus had left the office. She had a lot of things to work through in her mind, the pendant long forgotten for the time being.

For Remus Lupin had a lot of explaining to do.

End Chapter: Echoes

Next Chapter: Goodbye to Buckbeak

Due: Friday


	69. Goodbye to Buckbeak

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated: Wednesday 20th April 2005

**Chapter Sixty Nine: Goodbye to Buckbeak.**

Severus slammed the door shut behind him. _How could have been so stupid_? He'd only meant to make a spectacle of that arrogant Gryffindor brat for his niece's benefit. It was supposed to make her feel better, seeing that even the almighty Potter could be cut down to size. Instead, Severus had been alarmed to register a unreadable expression on his niece's face. It wasn't pity for the boy, that much he knew, it was something deeper. _Recognition_?

Then it hit him. That blasted _map_! Yes, he knew it was a map. He didn't know how to operate it, but he was more than familiar with its secrets. So too, it seems, was Estella.

"Damn it!" He cursed into the empty room. So wrapped up was he in watching the spawn of his nemesis squirm that he didn't stop to think of the consequences; and now Estella had seen the names on the parchment.

How could he have been so stupid?

* * *

Remus paced in his office, a shaky hand compulsively rubbing at the back of his neck. 

_How could Severus have been so stupid_?

Although he had arrived after the Map's defences had been activated and he didn't actually see his Goddaughter witness the unravelling of the parchment's message, one look at her face and he knew she had. He found he couldn't look her in the eye – his mind was awash with a million different thoughts at once and it was all suddenly too much to process. First, he had to try and concentrate on the more immediate issue of how to get Harry away from Severus' ire and the offending piece of parchment out the equation. As he smoothly manipulated Harry, and then the Weasley boy out of Severus' grasp, he could feel Estella's eyes burning into him.

The feeling of them boring into him haunted him still.

He'd had little choice but to leave Severus' offices with Harry and Ron; and now as he paced his office agitatedly he weighed out his options. Should he fire-call Severus? What if Estella was still there? What if she didn't recognise what the map meant and intervening now would reveal everything?

_'Of course she knew what it meant!_' His conscience nagged at him. _'She's too smart…_'

There was no mistaking the look in Estella's eyes.

Before he could reconsider, he charged across the room towards the fireplace and threw a handful of powder in.

WHACK!

Remus saw stars as he was thrown back out of the fireplace. Evidently, Severus had decided to try and Floo him at precisely that same moment and their heads had collided.

The man in question's head reappeared in the fireplace.

"She knows." They both said at once.

* * *

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, the two men became increasingly desperate to get the mutual object of their attentions to talk. Asides from seeing her in their respective classes, however, the illusive child proved extremely difficult to corner. She flatly refused to stay behind alone after class, skived the detentions they were forced to set, and stopped visiting them in their private rooms. 

Remus couldn't even use the map he now had in his possession to his advantage. Estella always made sure she was surrounded by other students, and when he had taken to stalking her around the grounds – seemingly appearing wherever she went – the child only got volatile and defensive; much like a wild animal when it feels caged.

The weary werewolf could still feel the hurt in her eyes as she had turned on him.

"Stop following me!" She snapped at him one day as he had used the map to track her as she was leaving one of the Herbology greenhouses at the end of the day. She was alone. "Can't you see I want to be left alone?"

"Estella!" Remus had pleaded, reaching out to her. "You need to talk about this, I need to explain…"

The child had flinched away from him and backed away coldly. Remus' heart was still breaking – she had never pushed him away before.

"I _don't_ need to do anything you say!" She had spat at him, fire in her eyes. "You're _not _my _father_!"

Reeling, Remus stumbled back in shock. She had never said anything like that either.

Before he knew it, Estella had turned and started walking away briskly, widening the gap between them with each moment Remus' heart and mind struggled to put itself back together. Coming to his senses, Remus was not about to give up that easily.

"Please, talk to someone at least." He had tried to reason with her as he ran after her to catch up. "I've never seen you act this way before."

"Never say never, Professor." Estella had said coolly as she glanced back at him over her shoulder.

What happened next replayed itself in slow motion in Remus' mind. Estella tripped on a rock and fell, landing heavily on her ankle. Instinctively, he had of course, rushed to help her.

"Leave me alone." She growled, batting his hands away and giving him a shove. "I can take care of myself!"

Remus had fallen over backwards at the force, his chest tingling from where her hands had brutally shoved him. Looking over at her with a mixture of indignation, hurt and determination on his face, he was amazed to see her pull out her wand and heal her swollen ankle with a basic fourth year healing charm.

'_Where on earth did she learn that_?' Remus' mind was awed. He knew his goddaughter spent a lot of her time reading, but reading about the properties of a spell and executing it with perfect intonation and wand movements without practical instruction was a whole different game of Quidditch.

"Don't even try to follow me." She had glared down at him, the hint of a threat audible in her voice before it softened slightly, as though pleading with him. "Just leave me alone."

Returning to his chambers after dinner that evening feeling decidedly dejected, Remus threw the precious Marauder's Map across his office in frustration. His cub was hurting, and it was all his fault.

"Sir?" A voice filtered through the door, followed by a knock. "Please, sir, can I have a moment of your time? I need to talk to you… it's about Estella."

He yanked the door open with so much force he was sure it would be ripped off its hinges had the School not been impregnated with so much magic.

Standing in the doorway was a distraught looking Elsie Carmichael – a Ravenclaw in Estella's year.

"Come in, Miss Carmichael." Remus eventually found his voice, standing aside and gesturing that the nervous looking second year should enter. "Take a seat."

Warding his door extensively against eavesdroppers and uninvited intrusions, he turned to face his guest.

"Tea?" He asked as he gestured a shaky hand towards the fireplace. "I can order us some tea if you…"

"No thanks, Professor." Elsie said hurriedly. "I'd rather get this over and done with, no offence."

The child was evidently uncomfortable in his… what was it, '_staggeringly handsome' _presence. He forced himself to smile reassuringly as he sat across from the girl, the depth of his desk placing a comfortable distance between them. "You said you wanted to talk to me about Estella?" He asked, his voice cracking slightly.

"I'm… worried… about her, Sir." She said cautiously. "I can tell you are too."

"Go on." Remus urged, wishing the evidently hormonal girl would just get to the point.

"I think I know why." Elsie said finally, expelling a cool rush of air from her lungs. "I think Sirius Black has been writing to her."

Remus looked up at her sharply, his eyes widening. This, he was not expecting. "Wh…wh..what makes you think that?" He inquired weakly.

"Well her behaviour has been increasingly strange lately…" Elsie began. "Like she's with us physically, but her mind is someplace else."

"Yes?" Remus was losing his patience – which in itself was extremely rare.

"She's been wearing this wicked pendant under her robes for the past couple of months, and whenever people talk about Mr Black she plays with it." Elsie observed. "I don't think she even realises she's doing it. The only reason I even know it's there is because her pyjamas don't hide it like the school robes do and she's never taken it off."

Narrowing his eyes at the girl before him, he pressed on. "And you think this pendant was a gift from her father?" He asked, his mind not able to come up with anyone else who might have been buying her jewellery. Merlin, he hadn't even seen any such item on her person!

"Well just before she started wearing it, a letter fell out of a book I borrowed from her." Elsie continued. "I didn't recognise the handwriting and before I could read it Estella snatched it away and got really angry at me. She's never so uptight about stuff like that normally."

"I see," Remus said, paling.

"I… I… know it's not much to go on, but I thought I should tell you and not just as her Godfather." Elsie said, her voice lowering to barely above a whisper. "I mean what if the pendant is hexed or something, and it's making her act like this? You're a Defence teacher, maybe you could check it out?"

"Quite right… quite right…" Remus said distractedly, rising from his chair. "Thank you, Miss Carmichael for sharing your concerns with me, if you would excuse me I think this matter requires my immediate attention."

* * *

Estella skipped dinner. Her stomach was too knotted up to even contemplate the ingestion of food. Never before had she treated her Godfather that way before, and although she was extremely angry at him for deceiving her all this time, the look of hurt in his eyes when she had snapped at him tore at her conscience. 

Instead of heading back up to the Castle, Estella made her way down the rocky terrain to the gamekeeper's hut. Even though her mind had been so thoroughly occupied with other matters of late, she had still managed to register the news that Hagrid's Hippogriff, Buckbeak, was due to be executed that evening in punishment for 'attacking' Draco. A raw sense of anger flowing through her, Estella felt nothing but contempt for the Wizarding world, particularly the influential people who dictated its politics. She wasn't even there that day, but it didn't take a genius to know that Draco had clearly provoked the magical creature to defend itself.

Then there was the issue of her Godfather's lies. For years, all they had told Estella about her parents was that they loved each other, but then her mother had died and her father had done a 'bad thing'. They kept the truth from her even they knew she would only end up being hurt when she, and then Harry, found out the consequences of their parent's friendship. Had they even hinted that things were not as they seemed between the 'legendary' friendship the two families had shared, Estella wouldn't have been so compelled as to establish a link with the orphan, and she wouldn't be so overwhelmed with the feelings of guilt now (for encouraging a friendship based on the idea that their parents were friends).

Not to mention, Estella had been raised on stories of these so-called fictitious characters, the marauders. She had grown to love and idolise them. Her whole belief structure was founded in their image, for they inspired her that much. Now she finds out that these magical creatures she grew up with were in fact based on real people, and that a terrible fate befell them because of a traitor in their ranks, Estella didn't know what to think.

Seeing no signs of life in the rambling stone hut, Estella made her way directly to the impressive pumpkin patch where the majestic hippogriff was chained.

"Oh, Buckbeak!" She bowed, making her way over to pet the creature's silky feathered mane once it was safe to do so. "I wish I could let you go, take you for one last ride… but I can't."

Instead, the half-eagle, half-horse nodded understandingly and leant down on his haunches so that Estella could climb on. Wrapping her arms around as much of Buckbeak's neck as she could manage, she settled to rest on his back, lying down so that her head rested on the creature's neck.

"What should I do?" She asked after a few moments of companionable silence. "I hate being mad at them."

Buckbeak reared his head and whinnied, as though giving his response.

"Yeah, I know." Estella sighed, patting the Hippogriff on the top off the head soothingly. "You got bigger Boggarts to hex. I'm sorry."

Taking the snort from under her as an acceptance to her apology, she rolled herself off the giant beast. "Well, I just came to say, well, goodbye you know." She said softly, her eyes starting to mist. "I-I-I had better be going, they'll be coming back from dinner soon."

With a final kiss on the Hippogriff's bowed head, Estella wiped her face with her sleeve and stalked off towards the lake, without a backwards glance. As she made her way along the edge of the dell, she was sure she saw a Grim in the shadows of the forbidden forest. When she looked back though to check, it was gone.

Years of listening to Professor Trelawney's prattle at the head table planted the idea in her head that perhaps she had seen Buckbeak's own Grim. Far from thinking that there was any merit to the batty Divination Professor's preachings, however, Estella just knew it was more likely to be her father. Whether she was just developing a paranoia, or if it was something else more significant, Estella couldn't help but feel like she was still being watched. Yet rather than feel unease under the unknown scrutiny, in a hidden, locked away part of her mind, her body felt at peace with itself.

Still unable to see any sign of the animagus she just knew was lurking nearby, Estella conjured a rug and leant against the Oak tree to watch the setting sun disappear beyond the lake.

'_He better not come near me' _she thought haughtily, twirling her itching wand fingers around her wand, sending silver and blue sparks over the lake. '_I'm really not in the mood_.'

After all, if she could push away her beloved Godfather – a man who practically raised her – she didn't even want to think of what particular hex would pass her lips if anyone lesser than that were to cross her path at that moment.

* * *

Sirius was torn. He had sniffed Pettigrew out and had him cornered in Hagrid's hut. Conveniently it was dinnertime in the castle and the place was deserted, giving him clear passage to transform back into his human form and confront the rat. That was, of course, until Estella showed up. His beloved daughter looked extremely upset about something, and whilst he could have tried to get by her and explain things to her before Peter got away, he didn't want to traumatise his daughter anymore than she already looked. Instead, he waited, and watched, his eyes soaking up the sight. 

Watching his daughter turn and walk away from him, towards the lake, Sirius instinctively followed. It was not until she glanced over and saw him trailing her from the shadows that he came to his senses.

'_Must get Peter!_' He reminded himself. As much as he'd rather admire the simple beauty of the sunset over the lake, take in the golden hues as they bathed his daughter in the evening sun, he knew that without Pettigrew he would be forced to spend his life in the shadows, watching. If he ever wanted to become anything more to his child other than a lingering shadow watching over her, he had to forego her this once.

* * *

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Remus hastily stabbed his wand at the old piece of parchment before him. He couldn't get to the map quick enough after the helpful, but annoyingly lingering, Ravenclaw had left his office. 

While his eyes searched the hundreds of little names and footprints on the map for the one he was looking for, two things came to mind. One, it was a full moon in but an hour and two, Severus was due to bring his potion by any moment now. He wouldn't be chasing around the grounds for anyone that night.

Seeking his absent Goddaughter out anyway, he finally spotted her name by the side of the lake. Resolving to leave her alone for the evening and confront her about the letter and pendant first thing after the full moon, the tired werewolf was just about to put an end to his 'mischief' when another name caught his eye.

Two names in fact.

Closing his eyes and shaking his head in disbelief, Remus reopened his eyes manically and double checked the map. Sure enough, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black were there, disappearing off the map down the Whomping Willow's passage, headed for the shrieking shack. With them, for some reason, was Ronald Weasley; and close behind, Hermione Granger and Harry Potter.

'_The Map never lies_!' He reminded himself.

Dropping the map carelessly and storming from the room without even grabbing a cloak or closing his door, Remus forgot all else as he ran like the wind in the direction of the tunnel he knew only too well.

End Chapter: Goodbye to Buckbeak


	70. Leap of Faith

Updated Sunday 24th April 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One… oh, and there are gratuitous borrowings from Chapters 17-19 of POA.

**Chapter Seventy: Leap of Faith**

The sun now blanketed by the horizon, Estella rose and restlessly began to kick around the edge of the lake. Given the hour, she knew she'd have to return to the castle soon - perhaps swing by the kitchens for a quick bite to eat after all - before settling down in bed with a good book. She was of mind to return to the castle and do just that until, however, her eyes witnessed a flurry of activity at the foot of the hill she was standing on. There, by the Whomping Willow, were four figures in a tense stand off. Hearing a dog bark and snarl, Estella's blood froze when she recognised one of the smaller shadows to be a dog… her _father_. Moving behind a bush to stay out of sight and casting a spell to hear better, Estella began to recognise one of the shouting voices as belonging to Harry… which meant the other people were invariably Ron and Hermione. With shivers running down her spine as Estella recalled the last time she'd heard Harry shout – at her – her eyes bulged in mortification when she remembered also that her father was most likely out for Harry's blood.

'_It's probably just a hungry stray'_ Estella tried to assure herself, but to no avail. Something bubbling deep in her gut told her that it was her father… which could only mean that Harry was in mortal danger.

'_Oh no!_' Estella's heart was gripped in fear for the boy-who-lived. Sure, the last time they had spoken to each other they'd had a fight and more or less hated her now, but there was no way she was just going to stand by and let something happen to the boy – lest of all by her father's hand, and lest of all when she could have prevented it by stunning the man with her wand that night in the Gryffindor common room.

Now the only dilemma Estella faced was the question of if she should seek out an adult for help, or go it alone. When she saw the dog attack Ron and drag him into the tunnel under the tree, her mind was made up for her. There was simply no time to do anything else.

It was time to go and do what she should have done that night in Gryffindor Tower… maybe then Harry could understand her.

Following stealthily behind Hermione and Harry as they tore down the path of the underground tunnel, Estella struggled to push the memories of the last time she had been down in that very same tunnel out of her mind. Part of her wanted nothing more than to run and seek comfort from her Godfather, but, as luck would have it, that night was a full moon. As for her uncle, well, if he helped her with this he would find out that she'd let her father get away earlier, and then she would be in for it.

No, she had to do this alone.

Pulling herself out of the hole and into the room she knew all too well, Estella looked up just in time to see Harry and Hermione's wand tips wafting faintly up the stairs, their owners but faint outlines in the dark room. Following at a distance, Estella made her way up to the landing and followed her ears to a firmly shut door – the only room with a faint light emanating from under it. Knowing that the Ministry couldn't detect under aged magic used at the Shack, Estella cast a feather-light charm on the door and a silencio to its hinges before slowly pushing it open and entering the room just in time to hear her father speak.

"Lie down," her father's voice barely reached her ears as he addressed the woozy looking red-headed boy quietly. "You will damage that leg even more."

"Did you hear me?" Ron replied weakly. No one had noticed her presence in the room yet. "You'll have to kill all three of us!"

Wand in hand, Estella's mind was spinning. Her father's back was to her, and he hadn't registered her arrival… it would be so easy just to stun him and have it over with; but she couldn't do it. In her childhood training with her Godfather, the man had instilled upon her the values of etiquette and procedure. An Auror, for example, would always give a felon opportunity to surrender without the use of force – it was bad form to take gratuitous advantage of an offender's turned back. On the other hand, her Uncle had taught her defence tactics from the perspective of a former Death Eater… where it was more than acceptable to do whatever was necessary to ensure one's own personal safety. But whose direction should she follow?

"There'll only be one murder here tonight." Estella heard her father say.

Before she could make up her mind about how to approach the situation, her options were narrowly cut short after she opened her mouth and spoke without thinking.

"No! No, there won't!" She snapped defiantly at her father's turned back, her wand grasped firmly in her hand, pointing squarely at the man as he spun around to acknowledge the newcomer.

"Expelliarmus!" Sirius shot the spell hurtling towards her with an almost regretful tone in his voice, the man hoping to catch her unawares as he took aim and fired the spell while he was turning to face her.

His daughter, however, was far too quick for that, blocking his spell with a shield and countering with a leg-locker curse.

Fending off the curse with a defensive block, Sirius parried with a tickling hex – for Merlin, how he just wanted to hear his daughter's laugh. The spell catching Estella unawares as she dodged right into the line of fire, not realising that her father had anticipated that feint in his aim, Estella's eyes made contact with her father's as he watched her carefully. Sirius, however, was not very well matched with the youngest Weasley boy's wand; and so rather than causing her to writhe and erupt into uncontrollable giggles, Estella merely shivered as the ghostly wisp of unseen fingers brushed past the folds of her outer robes ineffectually. It was, however, enough of a distraction for Sirius to summon Estella's wand to him and cast her an apologetic look.

Feeling naked and vulnerable without her wand, Estella's first instinct was to go for her back up wand – most likely her father's as she favoured that over her mother's for defence – but she didn't want to make things worse by giving her father the opportunity to get his own wand back. It was best to appear submissive, take the time to regroup, then strike again when least expected. Not that she had much time to consider her options anyway as Harry – who, brimming with rage and being held back only by Ron and Hermione – suddenly leapt forward and physically attacked her father.

"YOU KILLED MY MUM AND DAD!" Harry roared as he forcefully knocked Sirius' wand hand aside and started to brutally fly at him with his fists. Estella's heart was in her throat as she watched the two fly into a wall and struggle against each other. All the years of anger and feelings of pain and abandonment as her juvenile mind grasped with the unanswered questions of why her father had left her mother to die and deserted her in favour of doing bad things to other people threatened to overwhelm her. One side of her wanted to see the man caught and dealt with accordingly, but the other, more predominant side wanted answers.

She did not think she would be able to walk away without seeking them.

What happened next was a blur of arms and legs as Hermione helped Harry overpower Sirius; the room ringing with the sounds of yells and screams. In the middle of it all, was Estella, unable to move from her place in the centre of the room as he mind battled itself. Her mind came back to itself when she could hear her fallen father whispering from his place sprawled on the floor against the wall.

"Going to kill me, Harry?" Estella blinked her eyes back into focus to see Harry poised over her father, his wand raised and eyes ablaze. Her father, meanwhile, was looking particularly worse for wear, all bruised and bloodied.

"You killed my parents." Harry replied shakily, his wand level.

Grey eyes flickered from green to matching grey, their irises dull with the weight of regret, pain and guilt.

"I don't deny it," her father said, very quietly. "But if you knew the whole story…"

Estella's heart leapt. She was going to get the answers she sought!

"The whole story?" Harry interrupted her father in a furious tone of voice. "You sold them to Voldemort, that's all I need to know!"

"You've got to listen to me," her father said, and there was a note of urgency in his voice now as he looked directly at Estella, his eyes silently pleading with her to hear him out. "You'll regret it if you don't… both of you will. You don't understand…"

"I understand a lot better than you think," said Harry, with his voice shaking more than ever. "You never heard her, did you? My mum… trying to stop Voldemort killing me… and you did that… you did it…"

Sirius' eyes watered, and he averted his eyes from the sight of Lily's emerald gaze as they tore into him accusatorily from beyond the grave. All the feelings of guilt and shame and pain that he had punished himself with throughout his time in Azkaban cast a black cloud over his mind… it was almost as though Dementors were approaching. Just when he was about to give over to the pain and despair in his soul, however, the intense stare of his daughter's eyes on him warmed his soul like twin beacons of light, showing him the way. Her presence was as invigorating as the strongest Pepper-up and as effective at chasing away his demons as a fully corporeal Patronus in pursuit of Dementors.

He had to tell them the truth. He had to tell them what happened.

As her eyes locked with her father's once more, Estella was overcome with a wash of emotion. Like an invisible, subconscious force tugging at her soul, Estella felt compelled to stop Harry from doing something rash. For some inexplicable reason she just felt as though the pair of them really needed to hear what her father had to say.

"No." Estella said in a choked voice as she thoughtlessly moved to stand between Harry and her father.

"And there I thought you were trying to help us!" Harry bit back, his voice laced with betrayal. "But you're just here to help him all over again after all!"

Estella looked from her father to Harry frantically, her wand hand twitching over the place in the robes where she had her parents' wands hidden. Inwardly her mind was running into overdrive, trying to assess the next best course of action… did she try to reason with the enraged boy before her so that he would give her father a chance to say what he wanted to say, or should she take a massive leap of faith in what her heart was telling her and discreetly drop her father's wand into his hand so that they could tackle the situation together; or did she step aside and let Harry do what, for all intensive purposes, he had every right to do.

"Get out of my way, Estella." Harry said warningly, brandishing his wand at her. "I don't want to hex you, but I will."

The seconds lengthened, and still Harry stood frozen there, wand poised, her father staring up at him as she stood between them. Ron's ragged breathing came from near the bed; Hermione was quite silent.

And then came a new sound –

Muffled footsteps were echoing up through the floor – someone was moving downstairs.

* * *

"WE'RE UP HERE!" Remus could hear the children screaming from upstairs as soon as his keen senses had picked up their scents and noted their tracks in the dust. 

"WE'RE UP HERE – SIRIUS BLACK – QUICK!"

He bounded up the stairs, two, sometimes three at a time, the adrenalin coursing through his body granting him an agility he had not known for many years.

"Expelliarmus!" Remus yelled as he entered the room, pointing his wand at a startled Harry, who stood over the felled form of his former school friend. Sirius looked to be suitably cowed, and he didn't want the young Potter boy doing anything rash before he'd had a chance to get some answers from the fugitive.

To his upmost surprise, Estella was also in the room, and she was now looking at him with a mixture of shock, confusion and… fear… in her eyes.

"Where is he, Sirius?" He said gruffly, his heart and mind at war with the confliction of emotions he was feeling at that moment. His first instinct had been to take his goddaughter into his arms and wipe away the doubts and aversion she displayed in her features, but his overriding concern at that immediate moment was to find a dead man.

Sirius pointed to Ron, his sunken grey eyes never leaving Remus. Staring intently at the father of his goddaughter, the wheels of his mind spinning furiously out of control, the pieces began to click into place for Remus.

"But then…" he muttered, "why hasn't he shown himself before now? Unless…" His eyes widened, and he took a shaky breath. "Unless he was the one… unless you switched… without telling me?"

A firm but weary nod released the floodgates around Remus' heart.

'_Sirius was innocent!_' A voice screamed in his mind '_Dear God!_'

Lowering his wand, the last remaining 'free' marauder crossed the room to gather his long lost comrade in a firm embrace, ignoring the betrayed stares of the four confused children.

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Hermione screamed.

Estella watched on confused. What were they talking about? Why was Remus there? Why hadn't he stunned Sirius already? Her eyes flew instinctively to a gap in the boards that covered one of the windows. The moon was set to rise at any moment, she was sure of it.

"Moony." She whispered fearfully, looking at her Godfather warily as though he had sprouted an extra head.

Remus let go of Sirius and gave her an appraising look. He was just about to say something when he was interrupted.

"You – you!" Hermione had raised herself off the floor and was pointing at Remus, wild-eyed. "You and him!"

"Hermione, calm down…" Remus tried to placate the irrational girl before him, his eyes constantly flicking to Estella to gauge her reaction.

"I didn't tell anyone!" Hermione shrieked. "I've been covering up for you!"

"Hermione, listen to me, please!" Remus shouted over the volume of her voice. "I can explain…"

Estella watched the exchange with a bubbling feeling of dread tearing at her insides. The last time she had seen her Godfather shout so desperately like that had been when he had been close to transforming and she and he had been in that very room some six years earlier. Eying the night sky as it peered through the gaps in the boarded up window once more, Estella back-stepped towards the door. She had to get them all out of there. What if Remus hadn't taken his potion?

Harry, meanwhile, was shaking with more fury. "I trusted you," he shouted at her Godfather, his voice wavering out of control, "and all the time you've been his friend!'

"You're wrong," said Remus. "I haven't been Sirius' friend for twelve years, but I am now… let me explain…"

Estella's head shot up. Remus was friends with her father again? Had she pushed him away so much that he had done the unthinkable? She stifled a gasp. What had she done? So enthralled in the developments unravelling before her, she temporarily forgot all about the pending full moon and trying to warn the others in the room.

"NO!" Hermione screamed, "Harry, don't trust him, he's been helping Black get into the castle, he wants you dead too – _he's a werewolf_!'

Estella looked at Hermione sharply. How had she found out? Why would she think Remus had been helping her father all this time when the man only had cause to turn in recent times? Had her Godfather been in league with her father all along? Her eyes darting between her father and Godfather warily as doubt settled in her mind, Estella took another step back away from them, now concealing herself in shadows. It was then, how, so caught up in refuting Remus' explanation about how he came to teach at the school, that no one noticed when Estella disappeared under a shimmering ripple of thin air.

* * *

Finding the Defence Professor's office abandoned – evidently in a hurry – Severus searched the office for any sign of where his reluctant colleague may have ran off to on such short notice. Catching sight of the Marauder's Map – a demonstrably activated Marauder's Map – Severus' suspicions were heightened when he saw the blinking dot that represented Remus Lupin moving rapidly along the length of the tunnel under the Whomping Willow and off the map's edge. Ever since he had invented the Wolfsbane Potion, a locked room was more than sufficient to keep the near tame wolf at bay; and so it was no longer required for Lupin to be sequestered in the rambling old shack. So why was he going there now? Specifically, why was he rushing off their now without his dose of Wolfsbane? 

Growling at the inconvenience of it all, Severus stalked out of the offices and out of the castle, goblet in hand. Curiously, he found none other than the infamous Potter Invisibility Cloak at the base of the Whomping Willow. Sealing the goblet with a containment charm and pocketing it, Severus drew his wand warily and threw the cloak over his shoulders. Somehow he just knew that this evening was about more than just a crazy lunatic wanting to live life on the wild side, and he knew that he was not going to like what he found at the end of the tunnel one bit.

Sure enough, Severus' apprehensions were fully warranted when he stumbled upon the scene in the upstairs bedroom. Seeing his niece alone in the shadows, out of immediate reach of her fugitive father or soon-to-transform godfather, Severus' first objective was to extract his niece from harm's way. Sneaking back through the already open door – Potter's cloak already proving more than useful – Severus cast a impenetrable privacy charm on the cloak and mindlessly turned the first item he could find – a certain goblet – into a portkey and then stealthily made his way back into the room.

Sneaking up behind his niece, he caught her unawares as he threw the edge of the invisibility cloak over her, shielding her from view as well as encasing her in his privacy bubble where no one could hear them. Grabbing her around the waist, pulling her back against him so that she didn't move and dislodge the cloak that was concealing them, Severus whispered words of assurance into the child's ear when her body leapt, startled, by the sudden contact.

"Settle child, it's only me." He muttered into her ear, his free hand instinctively covering her mouth as she tried to scream and began to struggle against him. Sure, he had charmed the cloak to contain the noises under it, but Severus was not sure how effective it would be against the intuitive ears of a lycan who would soon as smell them out if so inclined.

"Uncle Sev?" Estella's muffled voice questioned against his hand as she relaxed against him in recognition.

Severus removed his hand from her mouth, but still held her to him as he fumbled in his robes for the portkey.

Thrusting it into her hand, he then pointed his wand at it for purposes of activating it. "Do _not_ leave my quarters until I return, do you hear me?" He said, his voice belying a tone of urgency as the time for the moon's rising grew imminently closer.

Before Estella could register what her Uncle had meant by that comment and realise that she was in fact holding a portkey, her uncle had relinquished his grip on her and tapped the edge of the goblet with his wand, muttering an activation spell. Her eyes wide, and her mouth open to protest, Estella snorted with contempt as she felt the familiar tug hook her navel and transport her away. It was too late.

Landing on the floor of her Uncle's office in a ungracious heap, Estella pulled herself up jerkily and threw the goblet portkey smashing to the ground in her fury. How dare her Uncle treat her like such a infant? She could have helped! Harry, Hermione and Ron were still in danger! She didn't have a chance to get any answers! How could he do this to her!

Leaning against her Uncle's desk in an effort to anchor herself, Estella's eyes widened when she identified the smoking, silvery potion that pooled at her feet, running in little rivers through the cracks in the stone tiles. In his haste, her Uncle had given her a goblet of Wolfsbane to use as a portkey. Why else would her uncle even have such a potion on him if not for the fact that her Godfather had not imbibed his monthly dose?

'_Oh no_!' Estella's stomach did a somersault, threatening to spill its contents all over the floor over top of the potion she had indirectly destroyed.

* * *

Upon seeing his greasy git of a brother-in-law reveal himself in the room with the audacity to accuse his best friend of treason and fill his Godson's head with rot, Sirius' blood boiled. Asides from Pettigrew's betrayal, the man before him was almost equally responsible for his incarceration. All those years of wondering why Severus could be so vindictive as to exact his childhood revenge upon him by condemning him to Azkaban and the answers were now, suddenly, staring him in the face. Severus really hated him. Hated the father of his only living blood relative so much that he would willingly deprive a child of its father, another child of a Godfather, and let a killer go free. Once upon a time Sirius would never think a person could be so consumed by their hatred that they were blind to all reason; but as he looked into the steely orbs of the smug, self-satisfied bastard before him, he realised one thing: the feeling was mutual. 

After noticing that Estella was no longer in the room, and, with a sick feeling in his gut, realising that _he_ had probably taken her away from him again – this time from right under his nose – Sirius growled in rage and lunged for the man that shared blood with his wife. Almost languidly the man in question aimed his wand levelly at the spot between Sirius' eyes.

"Give me a reason," Severus whispered menacingly. "Give me a reason to do it, and I swear I will."

Sirius held back slightly, but the fire in his eyes was no less apparent. "Why don't you tell our willing audience what you told me in your letter, Severus?" He asked quietly. "Tell Remus how you knew all along his best friend was innocent! Tell Harry about the better life he could have had with his Godfather! With his parents even, had you enough spine to look out for anyone but yourself!"

"Shut up!" Severus spat defensively, jabbing his wand in Sirius' face. "You have no idea what happened!"

"What would Selina say if she knew, Severus? If she knew you did nothing to give her child a father?" Sirius continued, pain in his eyes, guilt overwhelming his senses – what kind of father doesn't even realise when his child leaves a room? What if it hadn't been Severus who pulled her out? She could have been in danger and he didn't even notice! Turning his attention back to Severus, he redirected his self-loathing at the man before him. "You could have told Dumbledore about Peter, gotten me a trial! That's all it would have taken, damn it!"

Severus shook with fury. "You didn't deserve her." He said in low tones, not even gratifying Black with his true intentions. "Either of them."

Blinded by rage, Sirius leapt at Severus, wand or no. Sure enough, all hell broke lose. Severus had barely managed to hit Sirius in the face with a stunner before Harry, Ron and Hermione simultaneously threw a disarming spell at him, the force behind the trio of spells knocking him out cold.

"Bloody hell!" Ron cursed, leaning on his good leg. "What a night!"

"We stunned a teacher! We stunned a teacher!" Hermione murmured over and over to herself, hands pulling compulsively at her hair in mortification.

"Get a grip, 'Mione!" Ron groaned. "Git deserved it."

Harry, meanwhile, had revived Sirius and untied Remus, whom unbeknownst to him, Severus had tied up to protect them in the event of the moon rising. Hauling the two men to their feet, he then handed Remus back his wand before turning to look Sirius straight in the eye and taking a deep breath.

"Show me Pettigrew."

* * *

Before Estella could bolt from the office, headed back in the direction from whence she had just come, the headmaster's head appeared in her Uncle's fireplace; pesteringly enquiring about the purposes of a emergency portkey that had just infiltrated Hogwarts' extensive wards. 

"My Uncle caught me wandering around outside and ported me back here." She said, not wanting to disclose the full story until she had given herself a chance to get her head around things. She knew to have the school and thus the ministry alerted to her father's whereabouts would spell his demise; and for some reason she couldn't bring herself to take that irretrievable step. "You know what my Uncle is like with me and full moons."

"Quite right." Dumbledore nodded congenially, his eyes not seeing the sight of the spilt potion Estella was standing in front of. "Though I must ask why your Uncle did not return with you."

"There were several other students out on the grounds, I believe." Estella bit her lower lip anxiously, her eyes flicking from the clock to the door impatiently.

"Ah well then," The headmaster paused as he pulled his body through the Floo, joining her in the office, much to her consternation. "Shall I accompany you back to your Common Room?"

"My Uncle requested that I await his return here." Estella cautioned, thankful the potion would go unchecked from the older wizard's perspective as he stood on the other side of the desk.

"Oh I'm sure your Uncle will take a while." Dumbledore pressed, holding out his arm for her to take as he went towards the door. "I am sure you would rather be with your friends. Don't worry about your Uncle, I will let him know I sent you to your dorm."

Save telling him just where the man was, Estella felt she had no recourse but to agree.

Left under the infuriatingly close eyes of her house master – who was inexplicably omnipresent in the common room tonight – and the conscientious army of studious house prefects, Estella was beside herself with hopelessness. She should be out there helping her Uncle, not wasting away in a stupid common room with a book! Speaking of books, Estella had turned to a book to get her mind off things happening elsewhere. All she could do was sit and hope that everything would be alright.

Trying to focus on the text of the transfiguration text she was reading, Estella finally managed to wrap herself up in the book. She'd caught Hermione using the book as a resource for a third year transfiguration essay some time ago, and had made a note at the time to borrow it one day.

Soaking the information up like a sponge, Estella mused absently whether or not it was Hermione who had scrawled the surprisingly helpful cliff notes in the margins of the text.

'_No way,' _her mind reasoned. '_Hermione would think it sacrilegious!'_

Shameless defacement of school property or no, there was no denying that whoever had annotated the book was exceptionally bright. Estella quickly found she was learning more from the abridged explanations in the spine than she was from the convoluted body of text. In fact, Estella would even bet her potions kit that that was the only reason the normally fastidious librarian hadn't vanished the avid reader's critique.

Skimming over pages, Estella realised that whoever had studied this book so extensively was not doing it just to get an 'O' in a transfiguration essay. As the book glossed over certain details and omitted others, the disgruntled reader had penned in page references to other more helpful books, so as to fill in the gaps. It surprised her though, that most of the footnoted resources were either in the restricted section, or not available at the school at all… which was a rare occurrence given a library of such magnitude. Whomever listed such sources clearly felt they would be of assistance to someone in the future.

But why would anyone need to research something that thoroughly? Unless… something in Estella's mind clicked. Everything the book's unplanned commentary contained provided everything anyone would ever need to become an actual animagus.

Had the marauders been the ones to doctor this book? Registered animagi were trained through the ministry to reconcile with their animal forms… the process so intensive that very few people dared to try it otherwise.

She knew from her recent scrutiny of the Animagus register that the Marauders hadnever been registered. It _had _to be them

Estella dropped the book as though she had been burned. As intriguing as the book and its amendments were, Estella was trying to avoid anything to do with her family at that moment, not actively identify with the likes of her father and what he got up to in school. She was halfway through casting the book aside and retrieving another from her book bag when a hand on her shoulder startled her from her thoughts. Yanking her head up in surprise, she straightened up in her chair in a little, hardly noticed corner of the bookish common room, to face her guest.

"Elsie? Luna?" She asked, concern furrowing her brow. They looked like they were going to jump out of their skins.

"H-how can you be so calm?" Elsie asked quietly. "He's here! He's in the castle!"

Placing her hands squarely on the table before her in a bid to steady herself, Estella knotted her brows together in confusion. "Who's here?"

Elsie and Luna exchanged a look. "She doesn't know?" Luna half-asked, half stated. "You don't know?"

"Know what?" Estella shook her head in confusion. "What's happening?"

"The Ministry are bringing Dementors into the castle!" Elsie exclaimed in hushed tones.

"They want the kiss performed straight away!" Luna nodded gravely.

Estella felt her innards knot and twist anxiously. "What are you guys talking about?" She asked fretfully. "Who… who is getting the kiss in the Castle?"

"Oh for Merlin's sake!" Elsie cried, slapping her head in frustration. "You really haven't heard anything, have you?"

"Sirius Black was caught an hour ago. He's being guarded somewhere in the castle until the Aurors get here…" Luna said. "You mean you haven't spoken to your Uncle tonight at all?"

"No, what? Why would I have seen my Uncle? What does he have to do with this? When… how?" Estella was aghast. Looking around the room she could now notice the furtive glances the students therein were giving her. Had she been so consumed in her thoughts that she had not even heard the frantic whisperings and seen the sympathetic looks as the news spread through the common room?

"Maybe you should go and see Professor Flitwick… or on second thoughts, Madame Pomfrey. You look a little peaky." Elsie frowned.

Unsteadily rising to her feet and backing away from her dorm mates towards the doorway, Estella nodded absently and fumbled her way out. "I – I – I need some fresh air." She said before turning and running from the room – and the Ravenclaw Commons. Without knowing why, she suddenly found herself outside her Godfather's offices. With a full moon high in the night sky, Estella knew her Godfather would be of little assistance to her at this time and yet she was methodical as she let herself into the man's office and searched for what her subconscious was screaming at her to find.

The Marauder's Map. At least, if the stories she had grown up with were true, then the mysterious piece of parchment she had witnessed bear the marauder's names was a map.

"Accio Marauder's Map!" She waved her wand in sharp snappy movements and summoned the map from its place on the floor by her Godfather's desk. For lack of any other idea on how to best work the map, she stabbed her wand at the parchment and demanded in a clear voice: "Point me Sirius Black!"

Sirius Black was in Professor Flitwick's office. Estella cursed. She had just come half way across the school from there.

* * *

"Where is Estella Black?" Severus Snape leered down at a group of terrified first year Ravenclaws as he swept into the bookish common room of his niece's house; having just returned to his office to find the floor puddled with Wolfsbane and his niece gone. 

"Professor Snape?" A voice called out to him from a adjacent hallway – the hall that led to the girl's dormitories.

"Miss Carmichael." Severus stated in acknowledgement, crossing his arms over his chest in expectation.

"Estella's not here, sir." She continued, encouraged only by the distance between them. "She tore out of here like a runaway bludger as soon as she found out."

"She looked like she was going to be ill." Luna added matter-of-factly. "Have you checked the infirmary?"

"I think she said she was going to get some air." Elsie clarified. "She goes down to the lake or up the Astronomy Tower…"

Severus could hear no more he was already out of the room, tearing up numerous flights of stairs that would take him to the Astronomy Tower, for he knew his niece would not be foolish enough to go outside on a full moon, again anyway.

* * *

Taking a few steadying breaths to try and stop the room around her from spinning, Estella leant against her Godfather's desk and peered past the map in her hands to stare into the fire groggily while she processed her thoughts. She couldn't believe it. Her father was about to receive the Dementor's Kiss! Part of her was indifferent – after all she never actually knew him – but an increasingly overriding side of her was mourning, actually mourning. The image of her father's fathomless eyes burning into her, so expressive and sad and soulful about to become lifeless and dull choked a sob from her system. 

'_He deserves it! It's his sentence for his crimes!'_ A frequently unheard voice of reason tried to purge her heart of all feeling. Yet as guilty as she knew him to be… as condemned and useless to her that he was as a fugitive, Estella could not condone the fate that awaited him. No matter his crime, he was, whether she liked it or not, her father… and what's more, her mother had loved him. She would not have wanted this. Had she been alive and in Estella's position right now, she would have tried to do something. Estella had no idea how she knew that, but it was just something she didn't question.

As her eyes flickered from the dancing flames in the fireplace and the pouch of floo powder that was on the mantle, a plan began to hastily wrought itself in her mind. The map in her hands not only told her where her father was, but it also incidentally detailed the special, temporary wards that had been placed around his holding cell. Watching the symbol that represented the headmaster leave the office suddenly, reappearing in the infirmary as if by floo or apparition, Estella knew it was her time to act.

With only a rudimentary knowledge of security warding, Estella could only guess the properties of each listed ward from the Latin words they derived from. Glancing back at the office floo again, it occurred to her that they had left a massive loophole in their security. The floo was more or less open… perhaps not hooked up to the network outside the school, but still permissive of travel between staff member's offices… provided the traveller had floo powder handy.

'Guess they didn't consider a student may have uninhibited access to someone's office._'_ She thought to herself as she reached for the pouch of Floo powder on her Godfather's mantle. To be on the safe side, Estella wasn't going to Floo herself into her housemaster's office. What if she couldn't get back through? What if her father really was deranged and tried to use her as a hostage? If her father didn't get her killed in the crossfire then there would be a few ticked off men lining up to finish her off on account of her stupidity.

No, it was safer just to fire-call him. She didn't know if it would help him get away, but by giving him back his wand she knew he'd at least have a fighting chance and she'd be able to rest at night knowing she didn't just stand by and let her parent perish. Tossing a pinch of powder into the fireplace she directed her head towards the Ravenclaw Housemaster's office. Looking inside the cosy office, her eyes, which had begun to adjust in the low lit dim of the room, could make out a slight, heaving body shackled in the corner furthest from the floo, his back to her.

Her breath catching in her throat, she suddenly realised she didn't know what to call him.

"Um… hello?" She said softly, clearing her throat. "Excuse me?" She continued in a loud stage whisper (the door outside the office was likely guarded).

The body stiffened, startled, before turning around to face her, chains rattling. A stunned look of disbelief clouding his face, Sirius Black blinkingly stared at the apparition of his daughter. Was this a sign of the Dementors getting closer? That his fear of having his daughter witness his fate was manifesting itself in this cruel hallucination?

Estella frowned slightly at her father's seemingly indifferent reaction and fumbled in her robes for the item she had come to give him.

"Estella?" Her father said suddenly, moving as close to the fireplace as the chains would allow. "Are you real?"

Realisation dawned on Estella's features. Her father had thought her to be a figment of his imagination! "If I'm a figment of your imagination I'd sure as hell like to know why I had to go to so much trouble." Estella responded sarcastically, her tendency to draw from humour when nervous a trait she had picked up on over the years. "Yes, I'm real."

A mixture of happiness, fear and sadness filled Sirius' eyes. "You can't be here. You can't see this." He said regretfully. "I'm so sorry it turned out this way."

Estella shook her head mirthlessly. Had her father given up? Did he not think she was capable of helping him?

"It doesn't have to be this way." She said softly, thrusting her hand through the fireplace – a weird sensation when the rest of your body is still firmly elsewhere. "Take this. It belongs to you anyway. You should have it back… I have a feeling you're going to need it."

Sirius eyed the wand in his daughter's outstretched hand like it was Selina putting his wedding band on his finger all over again. "Why?" He croaked, reaching out and taking the wand from her hand gingerly. Over the course of the years he had convinced himself that his daughter had surely been raised to hate him.

"My mother would have done no differently." Estella said sadly, drawing her hand back through the fireplace as she heard the approaching flapping of what she thought were Dementors. "I… I have to go before I'm missed."

With that, Estella withdrew from the fireplace, away from her father whom she could hear blasting the chains around his limbs with his wand. Placing everything back in her Godfather's office just the way she left it, she turned and bolted for her dormitory, anxious to get back before they discovered her father had a wand and attributed it to her absence.

Looking out a window as she hurried her way back to the West Tower Estella caught a glimpse of something flying off, bearing a passenger.

'_Buckbeak!_'Her heart heaved a sigh of relief.

It appeared that more than one life had been spared that night.

End Chapter: Leap of Faith


	71. A Strange Start to Summer

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated Tuesday 26th April 2005

**Chapter Seventy One: Strange Start to Summer **

When Severus had finally come to find Estella in her Ravenclaw dormitory, the already irate man was incensed even more at finding his niece in the one place he had already checked.

"Where have you been?" He growled quietly, careful not to wake the other students.

"Relax, Uncle Sev, really!" Estella pleaded, sitting up in bed and rubbing her eyes, feigning recent slumber. "I needed some space, everyone was looking at me funny, so I went for a walk. I got back before curfew, and I wasn't technically out of bounds… and Professor Dumbledore practically dragged me from your office even after I told him you said for me to stay!"

The disgruntled Potions Master allowed himself a weary sigh of defeat. "Come." He said, holding the door open for his niece, waiting for her impatiently as the nimble child pulled on her slippers and robe over her pyjamas.

When her Uncle led her out of the dorms and the Ravenclaw common room Estella held back. "Uncle Sev," she whispered, a strange fear gripping her – what if her father didn't get away after all?. "It's after curfew! Why are you taking me out of my House?"

A muscle twitched in her Uncle's jaw, the man was clearly tense about something. "Your father escaped again." He said. '_And when that damn wolf turns back into your godfather he'll tell you he's innocent.'_

"You will be staying in our quarters for the rest of the term."

Sensing how angry her Uncle was at this latest development, Estella knew better than to try and argue with the man.

The following morning, at breakfast, Severus announced to the entire Slytherin table – and anyone else who was within ear shot – that their Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher was a werewolf. Estella was beyond shock, she was truly dumbfounded. Before she could storm out of the Great Hall, however, her Uncle got to her, pulling her into the empty hallway.

"Estella!" He said, his tone not one to question.

"How could you do that?" She asked, spinning around to face her Uncle. Had something so bad happened that her Uncle was retaliating? He can't have surely implicated Remus in her father's escape – he would have been in his werewolf form, for crying out loud!

"I have my reasons." Severus said lowly. "One them being he nearly killed myself and three students last night."

Paling slightly at the implication that her uncle almost died last night, Estella's eyes darkened when she refused to believe what he was telling her.

"I know that!" Estella hissed, whispering so as to avoid being heard by stray students in the hall. "But it's not his fault someone turned his potion into a portkey!"

"He was aiding and abetting a criminal!" Severus hissed between his grinding teeth. "Then I find out he spent his schooling years abusing Dumbledore's trust by gallivanting around the forbidden forest during full moons instead of remaining confined in the Shrieking Shack where other people were safe from him... and last night he seemed ready to do it again, without his potion."

Estella stopped in her tracks, her forehead furrowing in confusion. "How could Remus have helped him? The moon had already risen when he escaped from the West Tower!" She said without thinking, mentally cursing herself when she realised the implications.

A step in front of her, Severus froze. Turning around slowly as he tried to contain his anger, he leered over his niece. "How. Did. You. Know. That?" He asked.

When Estella couldn't think of anything to say, Severus inhaled deeply and straightened up. Grabbing the child's arm firmly, but not painfully, he steered her towards their dungeon quarters.

* * *

"It appears nature _can_ overturn nurture." Severus lamented banally as he slammed the door shut behind them. His mask had slipped, and he looked almost tired… defeated. 

"How long, Estella?" His voice was pained. "How long have you been helping him?"

"I don't think I understand, Uncle Sev." Estella frowned, her eyes dull and concerned.

"What did he tell you to make you help him?" Severus continued, restructuring his question. Closing the gap between them he grabbed her shoulders and shook her lightly. "How long have you known?"

"Uncle Sev…" Estella cried, getting confused and a little wary. "You're not making any sense."

"All this time." Severus paused. "I was only trying to protect you. To stop you making her mistake. But you turned out just like him! How?"

"Pardon, Uncle Sev?" Estella furrowed her brow. "What mistake? Why did I need protecting… what are you on about?"

"YOUR MOTHER!" Severus cried out exasperatedly, shaking it into her. "SHE made the mistake! She married _him_! Now he's trying to take you away from me too! He's dangerous, Estella!" His eyes were crazed and his tone desperate. "I almost _died _because of his idea of a _joke_! Why are you helping him? What did he tell you?"

Like a sun dawning on a new day, bells started ringing in Estella's head. All the guilt, the shame, the confusion she had been feeling over the past several months came tumbling out.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Sev!" Estella sobbed. "I couldn't do it! I couldn't! I know he did bad things, but I couldn't stun him! I don't know what I was thinking! Will I go to Azkaban?"

Coming back to his senses slightly, Severus realised with a start that what he was talking about and what Estella was talking about were two different things; and he was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"I will never let you go there. Ever." Severus vowed stoically, casting aside Estella's main concern as he cupped Estella's chin in his hand, forcing their eyes to meet so he could see just how serious he was. "Is that why you never told me what happened that night? You thought… you thought I would send you there because your father wasn't caught that night in the tower?"

Estella visibly relaxed. Severus' heart bled. Did she really believe he would send her away to Azkaban if he found out what happened between her and her father that night? Had he, in protecting his own heart, done nothing put push her into his arms? His worst fears were confirmed when she nodded hesitantly. Pain coursed through his veins, flashing in his expressive black pupils as though he had been physically struck.

"I'm sorry." Estella mumbled brokenly, averting her eyes shamefully.

"No." Severus said dismissively, averting his eyes. "It is I who should be sorry for ever leading you to believe that I would do such a thing."

Estella chanced a look at her uncle's eyes, the fire in them fierce and determined filled her with renewed hope.

"There isn't anything you cannot tell me, Estella." Severus said in a foreign, almost gentle tone. This was how he should have handled things earlier. "I would always still hold you in the same regard."

"Maybe we should sit down." Estella said shakily, before she sat down and confided in her uncle everything she had encountered with her father since school started.

"He hasn't tried to justify his crimes to you?" Severus asked, voicing his fears.

"No." Estella shook her head. "He's not of right mind. He is obsessed with finding Peter Pettigrew. I don't think he realises that he killed the man that night."

"Then why did you seek him out? Why did you give him his wand last night?" Severus asked, his voice laced with frustration and concern. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have gotten away? He could have pulled you through the Floo, and with his wand…"

"Uncle Sev, Uncle Sev…" Estella interrupted the man as his voice trailed off. "I… I can't explain why. I just had a feeling that it was what my mother would have wanted."

Severus made a noncommittal grunt of agreement.

"You're not mad, then?" Estella asked after a uncomfortable silence, the need for relief evident in her glassy eyes.

"I do not appreciate that he is still out there... _armed_." Severus said carefully, cringing inwardly when he saw his niece's face fall. "But I do not begrudge what you did. You were right, your mother would have done just the same."

"Then how come I regret it so?" Estella said quietly, all colour leaving her face. "How come I can't hate him? How could I do that to Harry… to everyone?"

"Because I didn't raise you to hate." Severus said resignedly.

"But you…" Estella began.

"…I hate?" Severus finished for her. "Yes, I will not deny that I carry that with me." He paused. "That does not mean that I wish to pass on that legacy to you."

"Oh." Estella said, not knowing what else to say. "What was it you were talking about earlier? About my mother's mistake and wanting to protect me?"

Staring at her face searchingly, Severus inwardly sighed. Part of him wanted to be honest with her and lay out all of his cards much like she had just disclosed things to him, but he just couldn't shake the residual fear that she would hate him for it, regardless of how compassionate she had shown herself as capable of being.

"Nothing of importance." He said distantly, the mask sliding back over his face. Seeing her eyes glint in suspicion, Severus settled for a half truth. "I could never understand what your mother saw in the man." He stated quietly, his eyes focusing on the fire distractedly as his mind was lingering on memories long past. "In light of his… history I felt it best to protect you from his influence." He paused, searching for the right words. "I would rather you had not met him the way you did… I feared that he may have attempted to bewitch you with the grand notion of his innocence." He straightened up in his chair and looked at her levelly, almost sympathetically. "Though it seems his mind is too far gone to be so strategic."

"Why did you tell everyone about Remus' condition?" Estella asked suddenly, curiosity getting the better of her.

"I have reason to believe he intends to assist your father in taking you away from me." Severus said, leaving out the reasons why Remus would ever want to do that.

"Why?" Estella asked. "Why would Remus want to do that? It's not that you have ever kept him from seeing me… well, you kind of have, but only as punishment for something wrong that I had done. I don't understand. Are you sure he would do something like that?"

Caught in a moment of sheer lunacy, Severus did something he didn't think he'd ever do. He told the truth.

"Your Godfather appears to have taken to heart the distant possibility of your father's innocence." Severus confessed, watching as a cascade of emotions washed over Estella's face. The story he had listened to while he was hiding under the invisibility cloak after sending Estella back to Hogwarts with the portkey was fanciful at best, and yet all in Black's audience seemed enthralled by his claims.

"What do you mean?" Estella gasped, a desperate edge to her voice. "Are you saying that there's a chance my father was wrongly convicted?"

"It has recently come to light that your father was not the secret keeper for the Potters." Severus admitted almost painfully, although he did omit the fact that he'd known all along that was the case. "Peter Pettigrew was."

"So that's why my father went after him the night I was born?" Estella exclaimed, her eyes widening in understanding. "But I don't understand, Uncle Sev. How could Uncle Remus think that means my father was innocent? All those people still died."

"All but one, it seems." Severus admitted grudgingly, wondering in the back of his mind if he had somehow managed to dose himself with veritaserum. "Your godfather seems to believe along with your father that Pettigrew somehow survived that night."

'_Beware the rat._' Estella's mind cast itself back to her father's words of warning as realisation dawned. Peter was Wormtail, the rat animagus… her Godfather's 'fairy tales' had so much as inferred that fact. But was Ron's pet rat really a 'dead' man in disguise? Did Peter survive that night? Another thought occurred to her… if Peter Pettigrew was capable of faking his own death, and he was the one who betrayed the Potter's, then what if he was capable of also framing her father for killing those Muggles?

"Estella?" Severus' voice shook her back to reality. Her eyes refocusing, she stared contemplatively at her Uncle, who was observing her concernedly.

"If Peter Pettigrew really is alive…" Estella mused aloud. "Do you suppose that could also mean that he framed my father?"

Severus' heart froze. He had underestimated the child's ability to draw conclusions.

"I don't know." He stated truthfully – he did after all, still like to think Black was guilty of killing those Muggles because it made things immeasurably easier for him. "Despite what your Godfather, or anyone may say, there is no proof of Pettigrew's survival. I was there last night and saw no trace of him."

"Then why would Remus believe it?" Estella asked.

"Because… because he once regarded your father as one of his closest friends and he would jump at the opportunity of believing his innocence." Severus said. "He is not capable of having an objective mind on the matter."

"I trust him." Estella stated emphatically. "What if it is true?"

"I will not have you chasing myths, Estella." Severus admonished the hopeful child. "It will only serve to hold you back in life. Don't prove yourself as weak as he is."

"You're right, Uncle Sev." Estella said analytically. "I'm no more capable of having an objective mind on the matter than Remus is."

"That's right." Severus said, his lips twitching proudly. "That's why I have decided on keeping you away from him until he sees reason and stops colluding with your father."

"That's why you told the school!" Estella exclaimed. "You wanted him to leave!"

"On the contrary," Severus said, eying the clock victoriously. "He's already left."

Estella considered her Uncle carefully for a moment. "I can't believe you did that." She said finally. "I don't care what he believes or what he doesn't believe. He didn't deserve that. He was good at his job."

"I admit I did act rather… rashly." Severus conceded. "Though I can hardly change that fact now."

"You really believe he is working with my father?" Estella asked. "That he would endanger me? I don't believe it. He wouldn't hurt me."

"Not intentionally." Severus quirked a brow. "Are you forgetting that this is a man who romanticised you of tall tales of fabled loyal friends, neglecting to acknowledge that they were based on real people? The man is stuck in the past, Estella. No matter what truths are staring him in the face, he is blinded by his desire to get back what he once had. I for one will not endanger you by subjecting you to his judgement."

Tears welled in Estella's eyes, a strange fear gripping her heart. "But I will see him again, won't I?" She managed with bated breath, the last moments she had spent with her Godfather – angry with him – settling in her heart like a lead weight, forcing the breath out of her. "Please, I don't think I… I couldn't… not him too."

Guilt shrouded Severus' heart. Though he had just been more honest with Estella on this topic than he ever had been her entire life, her trust in him was just as misguided as he continued to cover up his own indiscretions. The thought that perhaps Lupin and Black weren't stark raving mad to suggest that Pettigrew was alive and accountable for everything planted a diseased seed of doubt in his mind, and he was reluctant to admit to himself that no matter how much the Gryffindor werewolf was blinded by his desire to have his friend back, the Godfather to his niece would protect the child with his life.

"You will see him again." He assured her, more to appease his own guilt at the pain he could see inflicted on his niece's transparent face. '_I just don't want to let you go yet_.'

* * *

Estella was not happy to discover that her Godfather had resigned and left the school that very same day. It disappointed her to think that the man didn't appear to even put up much of a fight for her, and she felt badly for taking advantage of his presence over the last couple of months; with her treating him so horribly. 

Things around the school were different without him. Her exams passed without incident, and the term quietly wound to a close. Strangely enough, Harry kept trying to approach her – suddenly treating her just like he used to because he knew just as she did now, that Pettigrew was the Potter's traitor. At first she had been curious to hear what he had to say to her, but when he showed no signs of apologising for his actions or even acknowledging the fact that her father had condemned himself to prison, forever changing her life in the process, out of loyalty to his family and to avenge their deaths, she didn't want a bar of it. If her father hadn't been so loyal to Harry's parents he wouldn't have been in the position to accidentally kill those Muggles and he would have been there when she was born and things for her family could have worked out completely differently. The tables had apparently turned, and so she chose to unleash her frustrations out on the boy, much like he had pushed her away.

She'd heard the rumours around the school that it was him who somehow freed Buckbeak and aided in her Father's escape and short of hearing him out, she was extremely angry at how he could be so hypocritical, going to great lengths to ignore him. Even though part of her was exceedingly grateful that Harry had helped Sirius in securing his freedom, another part of her also resented the fact that while she was angry and pushing her Godfather away, Harry got to spend a lot of time with Remus in her stead. Of course it wasn't his fault that Estella wanted to be left alone for a time, but in no longer having the choice to see her Godfather, she hated herself for passing up the opportunity when it as there and she took it out on the ever persistent Harry.

Hormones could be so fickle.

On the last day of term her Uncle had informed her of his intentions to take her to Snape Manor for the Summer. He had witnessed first-hand how 'at home' Estella had felt at her Godfather's – formerly her parent's - London home and suddenly desired to create a home for them both outside of the restrictive walls of their modest school-provided accommodations. Given her previous experience with the said estate, Estella accepted her Uncle's change of heart with a great deal of trepidation.

Snape Manor, as she remembered it from her brief visit several years previously was cold and impersonal, filled with strange dark objects and portraits of stern, mean old ancestors. Such was her initial impression of the place, that she had, at the time, refused to remain there come night fall; and yet here she was being reluctantly coerced into spending the entire Summer there!

Arguing with her Uncle about this, Estella was soon to realise, proved to be fruitless. The snarky Potions Professor had final say on who was allowed to see Estella and Remus Lupin was inexorably struck off that list… and that was the end of it. No matter how much Estella pleaded, begged and rampaged her intense wish to spend the Summer in London, this was one issue her Uncle was not going to budge on. Finally, she began to see the unrelenting, cruel and uncompromising greasy git of a Professor that the rest of the Hogwarts students saw. For years, she had looked upon her Uncle's 'act' in the classroom with a sense of detached amusement, but now, in these different circumstances, feeling the weight of his stubborn wrath bear down on her, breaking her, she came to the stark realisation that irrespective of the mask he wore, they all formed a part of who he was.

Staging a silent protest by refusing to converse with her victorious Uncle, Estella spent the first week of Summer holed up in her new bedroom, sulking. She could tell that her Uncle had evidently had a team of people in, working round the clock to make the house habitable… for the improved décor and ambience was much more homely and inviting. Well, as homely and inviting as a Snape Manor could be. While the rooms had not yet been repainted ("I thought I would consult you on colour schemes," her Uncle had suggested on the first day in a failed effort to get her to talk. "This will all likely be yours one day, after all") the dark objects had been cleared away and the portraits replaced with 'kinder' relatives.

It wasn't London, but it was a start.

Severus had explained to her that under normal circumstances, as his only heir, she would receive his old bedroom; or perhaps that of her mother; but as neither room had been touched in close to 15 years, he thought he would give Estella a chance to see for herself how her mother had lived in the house all those years ago. If she decided then that she wanted to take her mother's room, she was free to do so; but until then she had been placed in one of the guest suites. Severus himself, occupied his childhood bedroom, for the master suite - his parent's room – was much too disturbing.

Begrudgingly, Estella was silently happy with the rooms assigned to her. All right so evidence of her parent's love and dedication to her were not evident in its comparably impersonal design, but it catered to all of her needs. The floors were of a dark, polished wood; the high ceilings – white – decorated with ornate cornices and gold leafed ceiling roses. The walls were a blood red, with a white ledge that ran the perimeter of the wall segregating the wall in half, with a embossed red and gold leafed wallpaper flowing to the high white skirtings on the floor. The same pattern on the wallpaper carried through as a predominant foundation to the ornate oriental rugs, and complimented the richness of he mahogany furniture and stone fire place. The room was large, containing a wide desk in front of the Tudor windows, a leather lounge by the fire, and a huge four poster bed with a conversely cream coloured bedspread. Various lamp tables bearing vases of fresh flowers, a tall, deep wardrobe and matching bureau and a bookshelf full of an assortment of oddities completed the scene. All in all, it reminded Estella of a five-star Muggle Hotel room, which of course was complete with its own en suite bathroom. With a window that overlooked the seemingly endless gardens of the Estate, Estella felt like she was trapped in a gilded cage, miles away from the world.

Admitting that she was going to be there for the long haul, Estella reluctantly unpacked the many trunks she had packed. Twelve years calling the dungeons home, Estella had accumulated a surprising amount of stuff. It felt strange to be packing it all up, but her Uncle explained to her that she should no longer consider Hogwarts her permanent home. He said that while she was always welcome to visit him in his quarters during the school year, the spare bedroom Severus had made her own was now a place for temporary lodgings. Part of her was happy at the fact she was becoming more like the other students in basing her home outside of Hogwarts, but at the same time she was going to miss the convenience of being able to fetch from her room whatever miscellaneous item she had happened to forget to pack in her school trunk. Of course, she was also demonstrably sour at the cost this change had come at… for she knew her Uncle's motives lay in misdirection.

Her uncle would not even permit her to floo, or Merlin forbid write her Godfather; and she hated not being able to resolve things. Not only had she and her Godfather parted on bad terms, but if the man had since found evidence that would suggest her father's innocence, then she felt she had a right to hear it. She knew her Uncle believed it all to be folly, but Estella needed to hear it firsthand – needed to see the look in her Godfather's eyes as he told her – before she could make up her mind. She had heard him call himself Sirius' friend in the Shack… and it just about killed Estella not knowing why. Assuming her father's guilt, did that mean Remus had turned evil? Or was her father innocent (or at least Remus believe so)? Either way she wanted answers, and her Uncle was keeping her from them.

Shortly after unpacking her belongings – the personal touch of books, photos and personal effects making the room all the more hers – Estella set out to explore her Mother's room. Opening the door, she quickly realised that her Uncle wasn't kidding when he had said no one had been in there since her mother: the room looked like a moment preserved in time. The bed was unmade – looking as though it had just been slept in – clothes were strewn on the chair, and a quill lay poised over a half finished letter on the desk. It was eerie how normal everything looked… it was as though her mother had simply left the room to go to the bathroom and would walk in the door any minute. In actual fact, she had fled the room in a panic using a emergency portkey some 15 years previously.

Estella's grandfather, apparently, was a very unforgiving man, and in publicly announcing her engagement to Sirius, Selina Snape had embarrassed – not to mention openly defied - her Father and his plans to betroth her to the son of a family friend. The only reason Selina had stayed at the house at all was because she didn't believe in living with a man before marriage and she had anticipated that her father would not take offence at the directions her heart was compelling her to travel. Sadly, Snape senior was furious when he found out his daughter's intentions, and would have forcibly married her to his chosen suitor that night had she not dropped everything and fled, never to return.

The closet, therefore, was still full of her mother's robes – all charmed with a preservation spell – and the desk, shelves and drawers proved to be a treasure trove of discoveries. Having never actually been inside the bedroom her parents had shared in their marital home, Estella could not get enough of the room before her. Whilst none of the robes fit her, and many of the books she had already seen before, it was the little things that touched her the deepest – bringing her closer to her mother than she had ever felt before. It was the scent of her perfume on the dresser, the unique colour of the ink she wrote with at her desk, the photos and old letters in the drawers.

She'd always assumed her mother and the former Lily Evans were good friends in school (the woman was after all her Godmother) but it wasn't until she read the extensive array of letters from the Muggleborn witch that her mother had painstakingly collected over the years that she truly appreciated just how special their friendship was. It touched her heart and warmed her to know her Mother had such a friend, and she regretted not having a person in her life that she shared anywhere near the same level of trust and loyalty with. Whether her aloofness was a side effect of her Uncle's influence, or her mother's absence, she wasn't sure, but as she got to learn more and more about what kind of person her mother was she wished she was more like that.

There were letters there also from her father to her mother… but in light of things they were something she couldn't bring herself to read just yet. She likened it to someone catching their parents in 'the act'. Still, her mother's desk – a roll top – with all its drawers and compartments was a place Estella found particularly interesting. For instance, she was certain that not even Severus was aware of the fact that before she had set her sights on Sirius, her mother had a more-than-platonic relationship with none other than her Godfather! By the nature of the letters, it appeared that the pair had kept their short-lived 'special friendship' under wraps from the whole school – liasing by morning owl to arrange private rendezvous. Now, Estella had always known that Remus had cared a great deal for her mother – both her parents – but why he hadn't shared this with her was beyond her comprehension. Apparently, the end of the 'relationship' was amicable… both agreeing that with Remus' lycanthropy and her family it would never be able to evolve into anything more serious. The letters did not stop there, however, for the pair corresponded as friends right until the time Selina left the manor – and most likely beyond. Remus' tone in his letters suggested that he was genuinely happy and supportive that Selina had found love with Sirius, but Estella couldn't help but feel sorry for the man. It was something out of a Shakespearean tragedy, how things had turned out for them all.

Putting the letters away where she'd found them – she wanted to disrupt the room as little as possible so that she could somehow preserve her mother's presence that little bit longer – Estella came across a hollow wall in the compartment… a false wall. Curious, she pried at the edges of the wood with her finger nails, levering it outwards so that she could see what was hidden behind it.

It was a time turner.

No sooner had Estella pulled out the delicate chained artefact and deposited it in her pocket did a loud pop behind her send her shooting up from her chair, wand raised, to see what had happened.

Standing there, in front of her, holding a Muggle spanner, was Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.

End Chapter: Strange Start to Summer


	72. A Spanner in the Works

Updated: Friday 29th April 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One.

**Chapter Seventy-Two: A Spanner in the Works**

"Damn it, Moony! It's got to be up here somewhere!" Sirius Black growled at his friend as they upturned another crate in the attic. The fugitive had been on the run for a second time for going on three weeks and had been hiding out at his London home ("Sometimes the most obvious places are the places no one thinks to look.") on Dumbledore's suggestion, catching up with his childhood friend. He had hoped to explain things to Estella and spend some time with the child – for surely Estella visited during the holidays – but much to his dismay the despondent looking werewolf had confided in him upon arrival, Severus' latest terms.

"Nonsense!" Sirius had shook his head indignantly at the news. "there is always something you can do!"

It just so happened that just as Selina had been bestowed with an emergency port key that had been linked directly to the bedroom of the flat Sirius had once shared with James, Sirius too had a port key that was capable of taking him directly to Selina's room at Snape Manor. Which led to why the attic now looked like a tornado had torn through it and the two men were searching for a simple Muggle Spanner.

Talk about throwing a spanner into the works.

"Found it!" Sirius held the tarnished piece of metal up victoriously, a wide smile on his face. "Let's go bring my baby girl home!"

Remus fidgeted nervously, shifting his weight from one foot the other as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Are you sure this is a good idea, Sirius? This will be the first place they'll look for her." He said.

"So we take her someplace else… I've got it covered, Moony. Relax." Sirius replied confidently, making his way through the debris towards his friend.

"If… if I am not here when they come looking I will be implicated in her kidnapping." Remus continued.

"It's not kidnapping when it's your own child!" Sirius growled defensively, but realising the trouble it would cause for Remus nonetheless. "Tell you what," he said finally, running a hand through is hair compulsively. "You come with me to pick her up, you… you can help me explain things to her. Then I'll take her someplace safe." He sighed. "I'd love for you to come with, Remus, but I understand if you can't. I don't want you to become a fugitive… Merlin forbid end up in Azkaban."

Remus nodded hesitantly. Every part of his heart was telling him to go – Estella would need his help to feel comfortable around her father – but in his mind he knew that without access to wolfsbane or a secure place to spend the full moon he would be a liability. It would probably be easier for Sirius to bond with his child if he wasn't around to be the security blanket too. "Don't think it's because I don't want to, Padfoot." He said finally. "But it's probably best if one of us could be seen in public."

Sirius laughed. "Tell you what, we'll blackmail Snivellus into making your potion for the rest of your life. Tell him if he ever wants to see Estella back at Hogwarts he'd better swear a Wizard's Oath to make it as long as he is able."

"Would you ever consider keeping Estella away from Hogwarts?" Remus asked, worriedly.

"Of course not!" Sirius smirked. "But he don't know that."

"And with Estella starting third year next fall there's nothing to stop me from meeting with her in Hogsmeade… with my trusty canine friend." Remus grinned wolfishly. "Alright then, let's go!"

The two men huddled close together and touched the Muggle tool.

Estella's eyes went wide as saucers. Squeezing her eyes shut, she opened them again cautiously, only to be surprised when the figures before her appeared real and there.

"W – w – what…" She gasped, eying her father suspiciously and fumbling for her wand.

Remus made the subconscious move to stand in front of Sirius, moving towards her slowly in a effort to placate her. "Shhhh, Estella. It's alright." He said softly. "We don't have much time now though for questions, just come with us for now and I swear to you on your Mother's grave that everything will be alright, ok?"

Estella looked from her Godfather to her father, shifting her wand between the two men as she went. "How do I know you are who you look like?"

"Good girl." Remus beamed. "Now let's see… I helped you find the charm to make the Slytherin banners to flash pro-Gryffindor slogans to everyone but the Slytherins on your Uncle's birthday."

"You did that?" Sirius turned to Estella smirking with fatherly pride. "Damn Prongs and I never thought of anything like that!" Seeing the wary look on his daughter's face, he verified his identity. "When you came to give me my wand you weren't too impressed when I thought you weren't real. How'd you manage to fire-call a warded office anyhow?"

Now it was Remus' turn to gawk at the unpredictable child before him. "You did that?" He asked, shocked.

"The Marauder's Map?" Estella said quietly. "What are you doing here? The alarms in the wards must surely have gone off by now!"

Sure enough, two sets of highly sensitive ears heard the distant sounds of someone stealthily, but rapidly, ascending the stairs. Exchanging a look, the two men turned and charmed the bedroom door locked.

"That should hold him for a few minutes, I hope." Remus said. "We're not going to make you come, Estella, but know this is your only chance to hear us out."

"We have a lot to tell you." Sirius said, well, seriously. "But I will respect your wishes if you staying here is what you want."

"Then why do you look like you just swallowed a lemon?" Estella bit back, her nervous penchant for sarcasm rearing its head.

Sirius grinned. "Because if your mother was here she'd want me dragging you out of here kicking and screaming if that's what it took." He frowned as he took in the room. "I know you must feel close to her, being in this room as it is. But she was glad to see the back of this place."

Before Estella could respond, however, a loud resounding crack split into the room, revealing an irate looking house elf. It was Lena, the old, extremely dim house elf who had helped Severus look after Estella since she was in infant.

Remus and Sirius both swore as the elf stood in front of Estella.

"Lena is being instructed by Master Snape to prevent Mistress Black from leaving with the intruders." Lena stood in front of Estella, arms stretched out wide.

Both men made a move for the elf, but Estella held them off with a glare.

"Lena, do you think you could do me a favour and fetch my things from my room? You're very good at packing and shrinking things… I'd like very much to move them in here." Estella asked in a sickly sweet voice.

"Lena is instructed to prevent Mistress Black from leaving." Lena reiterated.

"But Lena, these kind men have come at my bidding to help me move." Estella said, carefully wording her words to misdirect the elf. They were all dimly aware of her Uncle outside the door firing spells at the temporary wards. They didn't have much time, and if Estella wanted the answers she sought, she had to do something and quick. "Tell you what, Lena. My Uncle seems to be having trouble entering the room. Why don't you go let him in? He can help you prevent me from leaving."

The dim house elf was hooked. Smiling eagerly, she bobbed her head up and down frantically. "Oh yes Mistress Black, Lena will go let Master Snape in."

The elf then crossed the room and opened the door for the irate potion's master just in time for him to see his niece grab the portkey her Uncle and Godfather were holding; the three of them disappearing with a flash.

Though the portkey could be activated from anywhere, it's return journey was to a fixed location. Picking themselves up from the dusty floor, where they had all landed in a ungracious heap, Sirius was the one who spoke first.

"Merlin I had no idea this place was still standing!" He said, taking in the abandoned and somewhat decaying shell of what used to be his and James' bachelor pad… the complex had long since been condemned.

Estella was on her guard, backing away from the two men warily – the darker haired one in particular – as she began to regret ever agreeing to touch the innocent looking Muggle tool.

"You… you… kidnap me from my home with a portkey that's destination was in possible ruin?" She accused. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?"

Sirius looked at her with an exasperated look on his face, flinching when she used the words 'kidnap' and 'home'. "I… I didn't kidnap you." He said hoarsely. "You came willingly. If you want to go back there, I'm not keeping you against your will." He grimaced, ever hopeful that she wouldn't take him up on that offer… for he wasn't entirely sure he'd want to let her go now that he had her.

"I guess we didn't think this far ahead, right Sirius?" Remus added helpfully. "Our main concern was to get to you. You know I would never knowingly put you in danger, don't you?"

Shooting Sirius a distrustful look, Estella shrugged. "Never knowingly…" She agreed, stressing the operative words, still looking at Sirius as though he was about to explode. "I'm trusting your instincts on this one, Remus."

"Sirius would never hurt you, Estella." Remus implored, catching on. "Even if he was the criminal I had been led to believe that he was. I know I misled you in the past, Estella…" He added, referring to the Marauders he had alluded to her as being fictional. "But nothing I told you was, to the best of my knowledge at the time, a lie."

"You're trying to tell me now that he's not the man who did all those horrible things?" Estella shook her head. "But you told me otherwise, Remus! I trusted you then, are you saying now it was a lie? What am I supposed to believe?"

"He didn't know it was a lie." Sirius tried to explain.

"How do we know this story isn't the lie?" Estella looked at her Godfather nervously, trying to read just how much he believed this impossible dream.

"The man who did do these crimes was recently found alive." Sirius said, trying to keep the venom out of his voice. "Unfortunately he slipped through our fingers before the Ministry could interrogate the truth from him. I'm on the run for his crimes until he can be found."

"Oh, and I'm just supposed to take your word for that?" Estella raised a brow at him, running a hand through her hair irritably. "I don't understand. Couldn't they have just interrogated this 'truth' from you when you were arrested?"

"I was arrested and sentenced without trial, Estella." Sirius said sadly. "We were in different times then."

"But that's not very fair!" Estella shook her head. "The Ministry wouldn't do that!"

"Life is not fair." Sirius rubbed his forehead, searching for a way to make his daughter believe him. "Please believe me. If… if… my own flesh and blood can't believe me, what hope do I have? I may as well turn myself in."

"Why would you want to turn yourself in if you were innocent?" Estella asked suspiciously.

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Estella." Sirius said sincerely. "If you believe me to be guilty, then I will honour my sentence to appease you."

"Sirius, no!" Remus cried out in alarm, whirling around to face his friend. "This wasn't part of our plan, damn it! You're innocent! You didn't deserve to spend that time in Azkaban, and you sure as hell don't deserve the Kiss! Estella, you _have_ to believe us!"

"What life would I have to live if my own daughter believed me to be a monster?" Sirius looked at his friend sadly before making eye contact with his child. "I only want your happiness. I thought when you gave me my wand back that there would be a chance you'd believe me, but if you insist on believing that I would be capable of…"

"What about Harry?" Remus threw in desperately. If Estella didn't acknowledge her acceptance of his story soon, Sirius was going to go and do something rash, he just knew it. Didn't he realise how serious his pledge was? How irreversible? How much it would effect Estella if she let her father condemn himself only to discover concrete proof of his innocence after the fact?

"Harry…" Sirius' mind drifted off. "Harry has his Muggle family. I'm but a stranger to him. Useless to him while I remain on the run."

"Sirius, come on! You can't be serious!" Remus pleaded. "Think about what you're offering to do! If you take responsibility for this he will win! Do you really want that? I'm sorry I fell for the lie, Sirius! I'm sorry I let it be fed to Estella all those years! I can't even begin to know why Severus kept what he knew to himself, but we can't let it dictate how things are to go now! Estella will see the truth if you just give her time, won't you cub?"

Looking from her father to her godfather and back again, she realised that Remus must really believe in her father's innocence. There's no way he would look so panic stricken if he still had doubts… and he most definitely would not have subjected her to her father's presence if the man was capable in anyway of endangering her.

"I believe you." She said finally, letting out a breath she had been holding. "But what's this about my Uncle?"

End Chapter: A Spanner in the Works

A/N: Puts $5 in the swear jar for using the word 'veil'. It's a dirty, dirty, evil, horrible little four-letter-word in the Potter-verse :P Worth a fair few points in Scrabble tho, even if the people I play with look at me funny and start backing away when I break into cold sweats and start tearing my hair out in memory :P _'Use the mirror! Use the mirror! He's upstairs! Don't listen to that #$!#$& elf!'_


	73. Web of Lies

Updated: Friday 29th April

Disclaimer: See Chapter one. Only things I own are the calloused fingers from typing on my keyboard so much, and the said keyboard which all the letters are slowly rubbing off on!

**Chapter Seventy Three: Web of Lies**

"I'm going back." Estella said firmly, holding her hand out for the portkey after she had heard her father and godfather out respectively.

"Why?" Sirius asked numbly, reluctant to let his daughter slip through his fingers, yet unwilling to defy her.

"I need answers." Estella said. "Give me the portkey. If my Uncle doesn't bring me back to Remus when I'm through with him I'll find a way." Her eyes flashed like flint on steel. "But trust me, I think my Uncle will let me go quite willingly."

Remus swallowed audibly. He really didn't want to be in Severus' shoes at the moment. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked. "Your Uncle may not prove to be a very reasonable man about this. His actions over the years in this regard have hardly been rational."

"That's why I need to go, Moony." Estella explained before looking her father in the eye. "Please… Dad…" she hesitated, feeling the unfamiliar word roll off her tongue awkwardly. "Just let me do this. I know you've been waiting a long time, but I need a day, that's all I'm asking."

Gasping at the strength that one, simple little world held, Sirius' heart was overwhelmed. No longer of mind to think of the consequences, he crossed the short distance between himself and his child quickly and pulled the surprised child into a bone crushing hug; the years of pent up emotion pouring out at last.

At first, Estella went rigid at his touch. Even though she had accepted the story of his innocence, it was hard to just let go of twelve years of beliefs and fears. Slowly coming to terms with her surroundings, Estella coaxed herself to let go of her barriers and relax into the embrace; for though she was hesitant to believe it at first, she couldn't deny the feelings of love, protectiveness and safety that surrounded her as she melted into her father's wiry arms. Returning the hug now, timidly at first but then more and more fiercely as the years of yearning and schoolyard taunts and curiosity took their toll, Estella was dimly aware of the sound of her father sobbing… sobbing… as he kissed the top of her head reverently. As much as she knew her Uncle loved her, he would never act this way… so for her father to act this way could only mean that he loved her more.

"_There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Estella."_ Her father's earlier pledge replayed itself in her mind. Resting her head against his chest, listening in fascination as his heart raced with emotion, Estella believed him. His promise to turn himself in was no bluff. The man that held her in his arms would gladly give his life for her, and that was an endearing thought.

In his arms, Estella felt complete.

When Sirius felt his daughter's arms snake around him, returning his hug, his breath caught in his throat. Everything else: his fugitive status, his grief for Selina, his anger at Severus… it all flew out the window, squeezed out of him by the reciprocative arms of his daughter. Nothing else in the world mattered more at that moment than the child in his arms. He felt complete… Dementors could come and try and take his soul at that very moment and he wouldn't even notice; he was so elated.

Pulling away reluctantly, Sirius cupped her cheek in his hand. When he felt her lean into his touch slightly, his heart skipped a beat. Behind her, Remus came up and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back into his chest.

"I'm so proud of you, sweetheart." Remus breathed into Estella's hair, placing the spanner in her hand. "I fixed the portkey so it will bring you back home, alright?"

Estella nodded, stepping away only when Remus had relinquished his hold on her. Directly opposite, her father took a few steps back to give her room.

"I'll be back before you know it." She said with a sad smile. Then, wrapping her hand around the portkey and muttering the password she knew Remus used for all his portkeys, she was gone.

Severus Snape stared at the spot he had last laid eyes on his niece. He was in shock. How dare Black and that blasted werewolf come into his house and take away his flesh and blood? Pacing his sister's old room furiously, his astute mind running through the options, he refused to admit that he probably could have handled things better.

What kind of poisonous lies was his niece being fed at that very moment? Severus' mind shuddered to think of how much the child he had raised would hate him now. A vain part of him was hopeful that years of being her guardian would count for something in the heart and mind of the impressionable child, but the fact that Estella would only be told the truth by her captors was something of an incriminating factor.

There was no denying that he had betrayed and misled the one closest to him… if he was in Estella's shoes, he sure as hell wouldn't forgive himself. So many things he could have done differently, but hindsight was always 20:20 and all he could do now was lie in the dirty sheets. At first, he was too disturbed from his experiences in Azkaban to think straight. The horrible exposure to the Dementors had permanently scarred his mind with images of his sister leaving and Black's foolish action almost getting him killed that night in fifth year. Deep down he knew that he couldn't begrudge his sister's pursuit of happiness, but he resented the fact she had found it with a person who had been so irresponsible. Yes, he knew that stunt at the Shrieking Shack was a prank, and it hadn't meant to be as dangerous as it had, but Severus didn't want that kind of impulsive, risky environment for his kin. Black was a liability – a ticking bomb. All it would take was one poorly chosen 'prank', one hastily made decision. Severus didn't doubt Sirius' good intentions; it was his weakness in being able to make the right choices.

Severus didn't want to take that risk with his family. Hopefully Estella would one day come to understand that. She was better off having no father, than enduring an unreliable one.

"You're still here." The object of his thoughts spoke, having suddenly appeared in the room.

His eyes not hiding his shock, he moved towards his niece, grateful for her return. "Thank heavens you got away." He said, coming to a halt a few steps away when he saw the dark look on her face.

"Don't get your hopes up." She said coldly. "I just came back to get my things."

"What?" Severus spluttered. "You can't leave! It's not safe."

"Save it, Severus. I don't want to hear anymore of your lies." Estella sighed, pushing past the man she had once considered her primary 'father-figure' so she could go to her room and pack. Harbouring other ideas, Severus grabbed her arm, stopping her in her tracks.

"What did he tell you?" Severus hissed, inwardly panicking.

"Enough!" Estella spat back. "Now let me go. You really don't want to stop me right now."

"I don't want you to go." He said softly, letting go of her arm in defeat.

"What you want is irrelevant, remember." Estella rounded on him fully. "You gave up that right when you lied to me all that time without once considering what I would have wanted to know… what my mother would have wanted."

Grabbing her shoulders so that she would not walk out on him, Severus scrambled for resolve.

"I made a mistake, Estella." He said. "Azkaban did things to me… unimaginable things. It clouded my perspective. By the time I started to question my actions it was too late."

"It would never have been too late!" Estella cried, trying to shrug out of her Uncle's grasp. "You let him suffer! You let me believe he deserved it!"

"There was nothing I could have done for him!" Severus claimed. "No one would have believed me! He would have stayed in prison!"

"I would have believed you!" Estella cried. "I had a right to know!"

"I didn't want you to spend your life chasing a pipe dream!" Severus tried to explain. "It would have been harder for you to accept his absence."

"That's right! I wouldn't have accepted it! I would have fought for him!" Estella shouted, her voice firm with conviction. "I would have made it my mission to get him out! I would have written him and let him know I was there for him and that he wasn't in it alone."

"That's just it, Estella." Severus said gently. "I didn't want that life for you. I wanted you to be able to move on!"

"And what about my father? He was just supposed to sit there with no hope, thinking everyone had abandoned him?" Estella shook her head sadly. "I would never have done that if you were sent there! I would never have left you there to rot! You're my family. He is my family. You can't just discard people like that when it's convenient!"

"I thought I was doing the right thing." Severus bowed his head. "I didn't want to lose you too."

Estella reeled back violently, her face twisted in anger. "I see what this is all about now." She said coolly. "You wanted revenge against my father for taking away your sister. You did. You said it before – you didn't want me to make her mistake. What was her mistake, huh? That she left you? Severus. I doubt my mother would have ever left you. She didn't do things your way and you pushed her away; just like you've kept me at arm's length my entire life for fear that I will 'make her mistake' too!"

Severus was flabbergasted at his niece's profound conclusion… and just how right she was. "I'm sorry." Severus swallowed painfully. He was not accustomed to vulnerability. This was like Selina all over again. "I don't know why… I couldn't… please."

"Let me go to him, Severus." Estella said, cutting him off. "Give me the chance to decide things for myself. I know you think there's still a chance that he killed those Muggles, but I really don't think he did. I think even you have your doubts. I only want to seek the truth, Uncle Sev. Let me do that."

Severus hung his head in defeat. Through his pain, anger and hatred towards the man, part of him knew that the man his sister had married would likely not be capable of mass murder; and that he had been justifying his own misdoings for so long, he'd refused to see it all this time. "I don't want to lose you." He let his heart speak honestly, it having escaped the chains of his chest and rolled out onto his sleeve.

Unbeknownst to Estella, she and her Uncle were re-enacting the last meeting her mother had had with her Uncle in this very room.

"I was never rightfully yours to lose." Estella said sadly. "The only way you will lose me is if you keep me from what I want… and I want to know where I come from, who I am a part of."

"Will you… will things… you won't forget me?" Severus asked, waiting for Estella's answer with bated breath. The free rush of emotions rendering him uncharacteristically inarticulate.

"Of course not, Uncle Sev." Estella said quietly. "I'll see you in the fall."

Turning to leave the emotionally dishevelled man alone in the room, Estella left to go pack.

End Chapter: Web of Lies


	74. Brightest Star in the Sky

Updated: Wednesday 4th May 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One.

**Chapter Seventy-Four: Brightest Star In The Sky**

Estella was quiet and withdrawn ever since she had returned from Snape Manor. She knew her Uncle did not want her to leave, but he let her go nonetheless, an almost haunted look on his face. Like he had been resigned to losing her forever. Despite the misdirection and the lies and all he had deprived her of, Estella couldn't bring himself to hate the man. He was clearly troubled and conflicted; and he had made a mistake. She didn't fully understand why he did what he did, but there was no changing it now. He seemed to think he was doing the right thing for her, and she had to give him some credit for that, no matter how misguided it had been. Yet as much as she wanted to forgive the man and move on with her life with this new information, she knew things would never quite be the same between them… and for that, she mourned.

"I thought I might find you here." Her father's voice roused her from her thoughts from where she lay on the sloped roof of their London home, staring up aimlessly at the stars.

"Quite the little monkey I see." He added, taking a seat next to her as she sat up. "Thought you might be needing this, though."

In his arms, he held the telescope from her bedroom.

Peering over the edge of the roof then at her father with the bulky apparatus in his arms, her brows shot above her hairline in astonishment. "How on earth did you climb up here with that?"

"Practice." Sirius said smugly. "A featherweight charm and shrinking spell helped too."

"Thanks." Estella said awkwardly after a pause. "I miss being able to do magic at home. I'd never have gotten it up here."

"What are you doing up here anyway?" Sirius asked kindly, trying to start a conversation with his daughter, his mind choosing to ignore the admission she considered Hogwarts home. The open display of affection they had shown upon their first real reunion had yet to resurface since she had returned from her Uncle's distant and troubled. "Moony told me you were afraid of heights."

"I have a fear of falling. It's different." Estella shrugged, peering over the edge. "I always wondered why my mother had charmed the roof against falls, but now I guess I know why."

"Yes. I used to come up here a lot to think." He admitted. "Your mother cast the charms after I fell."

"You fell?" Estella's mouth gaped open. "What happened?"

Sirius pulled out a cigarette from his robes and lit up. "Broke my leg in six places. Medi Witches at St. Mungos had their hands full trying to reset it. I was lucky I didn't end up with a permanent limp. Thankfully your mother was a wiz at charms and was able to splint it straight away." He paused to take a drag of his cigarette. "I certainly didn't envy the nurses that day, having to contend with a heavily pregnant woman going out of her brain in the hallway when they wouldn't let her in to see me straight away…" His voice trailed off and he gave her a sidelong look. "…and you, young lady, were apparently having a Wizarding duel inside her; protesting just as strongly as your mother."

"I didn't know you smoked." Estella said suddenly, uncomfortable with talking about her mother… of times when the woman had every right to believe her future only held bright things. Not to mention the image of someone falling and breaking their leg in six places was giving her a bit of a cold sweat.

"Great thing, those Muggles came up with." Sirius said, regarding the long thin cigarette analytically. "So much more convenient than stoking a pipe the Wizarding way… and they have these little things called lighters where you can make fire without magic, too." He flicked the lid of his zippo lighter playfully, showing Estella how it flamed before clinking it shut.

Estella gave him a dumbfounded look as though to say, 'no, really?' and waved her hand dramatically, batting away the drift of smoke that came her way.

"Disgusting habit." He said, flicking the ash into the night. "Don't you ever let me catch you doing it."

"Hypocrite." She smirked. "You know they say passive smoking is worse than actually inhaling."

"The wind's blowing the other way!" Sirius protested, turning his head away from Estella to exhale as though stating his point. "The smog from the Muggle cars in the street would do more damage to you up here."

"This is a practiced defence, I take it?" Estella quirked her lips.

"Yes." Sirius growled playfully. "Your mother wouldn't let me smoke in the house… and I never will."

"Well I don't have a problem with it." Estella shrugged. "Your lungs, your choice… remember that if I ever decide to try and kill myself slowly."

Sirius laughed. "You have a strange sense of humour, kid." He said, shaking his head in awe before casting her an insecure look. "I'll stop if you want me to though. Merlin I went without for twelve years. I probably shouldn't have picked it up again."

"I don't doubt you would." Estella said quietly, turning her head away to stare off into the darkness. "But I couldn't ask you to do that."

"What do you want me to do?" Sirius asked, flicking a bit of ash off the roof tile below him. "Just tell me, and I'll do it."

"Just don't lie to me." Estella said, drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them as she began to shudder. "Be honest with me… and stop asking me what I want all the time. You're allowed to have needs too."

Wrapping his arm around Estella's shoulder, he tousled her hair. "It's scary how much I love you." He said, staring at her intently. "Stay like this forever."

Peering up at him from where she rested her cheek on her knees, she swallowed her fear. "I never hated you, you know." She whispered quietly in reciprocation. "Despite what I thought to be true."

Pulling his daughter closer to him, he lowered his head to hers and kissed her hair. "You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that!" Sirius said, his voice thick with emotion. "You have your mother's compassion."

"I wish I could have known her." Estella voiced her heart's desire timidly.

"She watches over you." Sirius said, gesturing to the stars. Then, patting his chest, he added. "She's with you in here."

"I know." Estella sighed, gazing up at the stars. "Sometimes I feel like she's there, guiding me. Like she's the voice in my mind."

"The voice of reason?" Sirius chuckled lightly. Estella nodded. "She was a formidable woman, your mother. If anyone had the determination to come back from beyond to be there for their child, it would have been your mother." He smiled wistfully at the stars, the cigarette in his mouth glowing red as he drew breath. "So you'd better listen to that voice in the back of your mind, kiddo, she doesn't take it too lightly when she's ignored."

"I see I'm not the only one with a sense of humour." Estella mused.

"Oh no, you're in a whole different league." Sirius said. "Yours is sarcastic wit. I suspect you picked it up from your Uncle."

Estella smirked. "He can be a bit of a sarcastic git at times. But I give as good as I get."

A beat.

"Estella." Sirius asked suddenly, stubbing the spent but of the cigarette out on the roof tile before looking at her intently.

"Mmm?" Estella asked, tearing her eyes away from the sky for a moment.

"Did he treat you well?" He asked, in a protective tone of voice. "Were you happy?"

"He was… fair." Estella said thoughtfully. "We had respect for each other's boundaries, and he was a good teacher."

"What about love?" Sirius pushed.

"What do you mean?" Estella asked. "Did he love me? Yes he did. I doubt he would have put up with me otherwise."

"Why are you talking in past tense?" Sirius asked.

"Because I don't know what to think anymore." Estella sighed, pulling herself up straight. "He may have left the more 'hands on' stuff to Remus, but I always thought we had a pretty good relationship… then I find out he kept those things from me, from everyone… and suddenly it's like everything is a lie."

Embracing her with both arms as she continued to hug her own knees for comfort, Sirius held her close. "I can't even pretend to know what goes through that man's head, so I am afraid I don't have the answers you need." He said. "I may not know how to forgive Severus for what he did, but I won't deny that he does value family… perhaps blindly. Your mother held him in high regard in that sense."

Nodding, Estella wrapped her arms around her father's arm. "Will Harry come and live here now?" She asked, curious. "You were supposed to be his guardian."

"Do you want Harry to come here?" Sirius asked, his face in her hair.

"I don't know. I've always wanted a brother… it's just…" her voice trailed off as she pulled away slightly. "Last time I really spoke to him he was so mad at me."

"I have a feeling he's feeling really bad about that right about now." Sirius nodded, pulling away so that only his arm lay across her shoulders. "Try to remember that he thought I was guilty then – he wasn't lashing out at you personally. He and I have worked things out now, and I am sure he would love to have a kid sister. I've not heard much about what those Muggles are like, but I get the feeling the poor kid's never really been a part of a real family."

"Have we?" Estella asked, lowering her eyes.

Sirius furrowed his brow. "I could never love anyone more than I love you." He assured her, his hand stroking the hair at the nape of her neck absently. "I would never bring Harry here if I thought it would come between us. Would it come between us?"

"I don't know. You and Harry would have so much more in common…" Estella laid her fears out on her sleeve. "Like all the boy stuff like Quidditch and stuff that I don't know anything about. I've never been left out before."

"You won't be left out. We will always have our moments like this." Sirius assured her, his hand stilling on her shoulder where he gave a little squeeze. "Besides, Harry can't come here until I am cleared of my charges, so we've plenty of time to work out what we are going to do. Let's just try and enjoy our time together for now, mmm?"

"Alright." Estella leant against her father's shoulder gingerly, unfamiliar with the contact that, when indulged, pulsed through them both like a lifeblood they didn't know what they did without.

After a while, Estella spoke, her voice troubled. "Was Peter Pettigrew really hiding as Ron's pet rat?"

Sirius looked down at his daughter curiously, concern clouding his features. "Yes." He answered bitterly. "Merlin, to think of all the opportunities he had to get to either of you. I should have stopped punishing myself for suggesting to James that they use him as Secret Keeper and escaped sooner. I'm sorry, Missy."

"No, I'm sorry." Estella blurted, her burning eyes looking away from her father as she pulled away suddenly.

"What?" Sirius spluttered in alarm, not understanding his daughter's upset. "Estella, sweetheart, what do you have to be sorry for?"

"I d-d-d-didn't listen!" She exclaimed. "When you warned me about the rat. I didn't understand! I could have caught him! I even saved him from Mrs Norris once! I almost took him to Uncle Remus too, only Harry…"

"Estella! Estella!" Sirius cut her off, shaking her lightly. "It's alright, it's okay. I didn't even make sense to myself then! It was too soon after…"

"Then if I had paid attention and not let my guard down I would have stopped Uncle Sev from giving me that Portkey and I could have been there to hear you explain and catch him…"

"Estella! You mustn't blame yourself for what happened! He's not worth it, he's not!" Sirius said to her desperately, trying to make her see reason. "Your Uncle was right to get you away before the moon rose! Merlin, sweetheart, Moony was loose that night!" At that, Sirius could speak no more, his voice too thick with emotion at the mere thought of what could have happened cutting him off.

Leaning on her father's shoulder once more, Estella sighed. "Things just aren't meant to be easy for us, are they?"

"Why would we want them to be?" Sirius quipped philosophically. "Then things wouldn't be so interesting."

"I'm glad I am here." Estella said softly.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulder in response, Sirius inwardly agreed.

Sensing a need to inject a little levity to the situation, Sirius spoke. "If you're not into 'boy' things as you call them, what on earth do you and Remus do together?" He asked, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You don't make him wear make up and paint his toe nails, do you?"

"No, never can say I thought of doing that." Estella shrugged. "We play Chess if we're at the school, or video games if we're here, or read together or go to the movies… stuff like that. You do know Remus has had to live almost like a Muggle all these years because he found it really hard to get a job in the Wizarding community."

Nodding, Sirius looked at her intently. "I'm not all about Quidditch, you know." He said, inwardly glad that his daughter was not exclusively into all the girlie things; even though it pained him that her interests reflected the lack of a mother in her life. "I enjoy that other stuff too. In fact, I think you'll be surprised by how much we have in common. Remus tells me you're quite the astronomer."

"Yes. I love clear nights like this." Estella admitted, throwing her head back to gaze up at the sky.

"Your mother and I used to sit up here and look at the stars, you know." Sirius said. "Selina had just fallen pregnant with you and we were painting your room when I discovered the way up here from your window." His eyes stared distantly at the roof's edge as though his mind had just gone back in time 13 years and was expecting to see his dead wife poke her head over edge. "She sat right where you're sitting and we would talk for hours… mostly about our plans for you, actually… and watch the sun come up in each other's arms."

"That's very sweet." Estella sighed. "What were her favourite constellations?"

"She liked Aries - that was her star sign – and she loved to make up stories about the shapes of the nebulas and count the shooting stars." Sirius said wistfully.

Both of them smiled when a shooting star chose that moment to streak across their horizon.

"Personally, I identify most with Canis Major." Sirius said, grinning slightly. "That's where my star is."

"Your star?" Estella asked, playing dumb.

"Sirius." Sirius rolled his eyes. "The brightest star in the night sky? Surely you've heard of it…"

"Oh you mean the Dog star… fabled to be one of the guardians to Orion?" Estella smirked, rolling her eyes. "I thought you were named after its inferior white dwarf companion, Sirius B."

Sirius chuckled. "I guess you've heard of it then."

"Pity its namesake is hardly the brightest spark, in any case." Remus chuckled, his head appearing from an attic window slightly above them. "I was turning off the lights downstairs and I noticed your cloaks were still on their hooks. The air's chilly tonight, rug up."

"Yes Mum." Father and daughter said simultaneously, sniggering conspiringly as they caught the robes Remus threw down to them.

"Merlin help me." Remus shook his head, before said head disappeared back into the house. "Don't stay up too late!" He called out from inside.

"Is he always like this?" Sirius asked, draping Estella's cloak over her shoulders.

"Always." Estella smiled.

"I'm glad you had him." Sirius said.

Estella smiled.

Gesturing to the telescope in front of them, Sirius turned to his daughter. "Now what's say I show you the star your mother picked out for you…"

End Chapter: Brightest Star in the Sky


	75. Family Connections

Updated: Monday 9th May 2005

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

**Chapter Seventy Five: Family Connections **

Estella had fallen asleep in her father's arms on the rooftop. Sirius knew he should have been a responsible parent and packed her off to bed as the night wore on, but he couldn't bring himself to rouse the slumbering child as she unconsciously snuggled against him. He sat up all night, watching the night stars fade to make way for the new day, delighting in how the lights from the streets below played off his daughter's face, lighting her up like a beautifully drawn portrait.

"Oh Selina…" He whispered into the approaching dawn, missing her even more at that particular moment. "I hope you are seeing this."

"I am now…" A sleepy voice murmured into his robes, all a flurry of wild hair and robes as its owner sought to bury their face under the cloak he had draped over her, averting her eyes away from the piercing dawning light until their eyes could adjust. Then, chancing a look at the horizon, the child gasped. "It's beautiful!"

Sirius averted his eyes from the sight before him to gaze lovingly at an even more magical sight – his daughter's wonder. "I can think of something even more beautiful to look at." He said softly.

Matching grey eyes flew to his in astonishment, twinkling in contentment. "That line is so overdone." She rolled her eyes and shoved him playfully. "And you're bias. You contributed to the gene pool."

"Mighty good gene pool if I may say so." Sirius grinned. "Look what I have to show for it."

"Everyone says how much like my mother I am, you know." Estella flashed her father a victorious look.

"They're clearly in denial." Sirius scoffed, grabbing his daughter in a playful headlock and ruffling her hair. "This hair… it's mine…" Then, cupping either side of her face in her hands so he could examine her closely he added in most analytical tone, kissing each part of her face as he went. "Let's see what else… eyes… check… nose… mmm, a bit of your mother in there… chin… check… smile… oh that's definitely your mother's… ears… check… hands… nope, they're your mother's too… oh and that's Selina's laugh alright" Pulling the child in a hug. "Yes, it's all very official. An equal mix."

"You're crazy, you know that?" Estella shook her head, pulling away to stare at him in awe, slightly taken aback by her father's spontaneity.

"Crazy about you." Sirius smiled, hauling her up as he stood. "Come on, let's get inside before Moony discovers we were out here all night!"

"Why, don't you want him to know?" Estella said.

"You saw what he was like last night! He's a mother hen!" Sirius sniggered. "Mmmmm… maybe I should brush up on my transfiguration… what do you say?"

"Don't you dare!" Estella glared.

"Merlin help me, you sounded exactly like your mother just then!" Sirius gawked, helping her through the window. "Now scoot, go get dressed for the day, I'll make breakfast."

Half an hour later Estella emerged from her bathroom feeling refreshed and excited.

_'This is what it's like to have a father!'_ Her mind spun in amazement. Everything had changed so quickly, and she had yet to find her feet… but part of her didn't even want to stand. Sirius was a lot like her Godfather, only better, somehow.

He was all hers, and she was his.

Throwing on her favourite pair of jeans – soft, faded blue denim that had distressed seams and flared at the bottom – and the shirt that she'd got from Reading which she had to keep getting Remus to charm so it would still fit; Estella then rubbed her hair dry furiously with her towel, throwing it up in a messy pony tail that sent straggly bits flying around her face before padding downstairs barefoot. Following her nose towards the kitchen, she stood in the doorway and watched her father work. Standing behind the counter with his back to her, Estella could see his wand peeking from the back pocket of his black jeans; his crumpled white shirt hitched around it as it hung loosely at his sides, untucked. He'd showered too – his hair, cut short after he'd given up on untangling the matted mess it had become in Azkaban, was glistening with moisture, tickling the tips of his ears and leaving a damp patch on the collar of his shirt where it lapped over. Through the warming smells of bacon and eggs cooking, Estella could smell the manly musk of sandalwood, coffee, and cigarettes.

Storing the image in the forefront of her mind, Estella snuck up behind her father and, in a true moment of daring, wrapped her arms around his waist from behind.

"What are you cooking?" She exclaimed, halting in her line of inquiry when her father flinched at her touch and went rigid. Darting her hands away as though she had just touched a hot stove, confused grey eyes met startled steel as her father turned around to face her.

"I'm sorry, Estella." Her father said, taking a calming breath. "You surprised me."

"You… you don't like surprises." Estella bowed her head, chewing her lower lip nervously.

Lifting her chin with a gentle grip, Sirius sighed. "No, I love surprises. Don't ever stop surprising me." He said, then, noting her look of confusion, he clarified. "I'm just not that used to… I didn't see…" He furrowed his brow, searching for the right way to explain things to his child without driving her away. He took another deep breath and went on. "I will need some time to readjust."

"It's alright." Estella furrowed her own brow, looking altogether very similar to her father at that moment as they shared a pensive look. "I think I get it. You don't need to explain."

Smiling warmly, Sirius took his daughter in his arms and welcomed the expected contact with his daughter as his mind continued its healing process.

"Are you cooking the Muggle way?" Estella asked suddenly, pulling away awkwardly, her eyes taking in the sight of the counter before them.

"It's relaxing." Sirius shrugged, licking a bit of batter from his finger as he moved to stand beside his daughter and continue his work. "There's nothing better than sitting down to a fully cooked breakfast, knowing that you created it." His eyes darkened and Estella got the feeling he was thinking of all the times he had gone without food of any measure of loving creation in the past decade.

"Can I help?" Estella offered.

"You can dunk the bread in the bowl over there." Sirius gestured towards a bowl of egg mix. "You like French Toast?"

Estella nodded, washing her hands in the sink. "I eat just about anything." She giggled. "Uncle Remus said once that it was strange to see such a small girl with an appetite that outstripped the Quidditch team."

"I'll take that challenge." He growled mischievously, kissing the top of her head as he finished his mouthful of cheese, their earlier awkwardness cast aside.

"You know, if you keep eating, there'll be nothing left to cook!" Estella admonished. "You'll lose your appetite."

"Every good chef samples his wares." Sirius said, popping a cherry tomato in her mouth before she could argue. "This smells fantastic, doesn't it? Let's have a cooked breakfast every day!"

"We eat like this too much, we'll end up the size of fully grown dragons!" She cried, eying the delicious sight of sausages frying in a pan. "Besides, you really got to taste my fruit smoothies! They're really quick and easy when you need a feed in a hurry."

"Well go on then, make them too." Sirius smirked. "I want to taste everything. My taste buds have been sorely neglected over the years."

"I'll make you one later. You really won't appreciate its magnificence if you overload your senses."

"You want to keep me in suspense?" Sirius growled. "Tease."

"Must be from your side of the gene pool." She grinned, darting away before her father could flick her with a dishcloth.

"Where'd you learn to cook like that anyway?" She asked curiously when she was a safe distance away.

"Your mother." Sirius looked at her briefly, his eyes flashing with sadness. "She used to love it when I cooked for her. She loved… ow!"

Sirius' anecdote was interrupted as he sliced his finger open, blood gushing over the small pile of herbs he had been shredding so delicately. Estella sprang into action, grabbing his arm and pushing it under the sink, turning on the tap.

"Apply firm pressure and don't take it out from under the tap, I'll be right back." She said worriedly as she bounded off downstairs to the basement, returning seconds later with a little first aid case and a jar of ointment. Pulling a clean towel from a drawer as she made her way back to him, she stood on her toes as she leant over him to turn off the taps and take his hand in her own. Hoisting herself up onto the counter so that they were level, Sirius could only stand opposite his daughter and watch on in amazement while she dabbed the wound dry with a corner of the towel.

"Now, this will sting slightly." Estella said softly, uncapping the jar she had sat next to her. Wrinkling her nose in protest, she added. "…and smell."

Placing what little was left of the thick, olive green paste on her finger, she applied it to his wound sparingly, her other hand holding his wrist firmly to counter his jerk of surprise.

"Oh don't be such a wimp." She grinned at her father, before leaning down and blowing on the cooling ointment soothingly as she fumbled in the case for a bandage.

Wrapping a bandage around his finger firmly, she wiped her hands on a towel and packed away the first aid materials. "There, that wasn't too bad, was it?"

"What did you do?" Sirius asked, inspecting his finger in amazement. It didn't even hurt anymore.

"It was a deep cut, so I wouldn't recommend getting that hand wet or dirty for the next 2 hours if you want the wound to heal completely." She said matter-of-factly, slipping off the counter. "You can always call Moony down to heal it with a spell, but I can tell you his skills in the area have not improved since before I was born."

"How? What?" Sirius stammered, in shock at the efficiency of his daughter's ministrations. Despite the copious amounts of blood that would have made a normal child frantic, she had been so calm and collected in dealing with his injury.

"My Uncle doesn't think too highly of foolish wand waving and silly incantations." Estella said wistfully. "Remind me to brew some more of that paste though. I gave what I made at school to Hermione to show her parents because Uncle Sev kept her class sample for assessment."

"You can make potions?" Sirius asked dumbly.

"I just finished second year, silly." She shook her head. "Not only that, I lived with a Potions Master for 12 years, you don't think he wouldn't have had me behind a cauldron as soon as I was tall enough?"

"But everyone tells me Snape hates teaching! You mean to tell me he spent his spare time teaching you?" Sirius was astounded. There was evidently more to his brother in law than what he gave the man credit for.

"Severus dislikes wasting his time on unwilling students." Estella shrugged, choosing her words carefully. "There's a difference."

"You wanted to learn about potions?" Sirius asked, a little insecure at the image of his daughter fawning over Snape and trying to emulate the greasy git.

"I used to sit and colour in the lab while my Uncle brewed potions, so I wasn't left unattended." Estella explained. "One day I didn't want to colour." She paused. "Uncle Sev called it my 'impulsive Gryffindor curiosity' getting the best of me; and he started to show me a few things."

"Your mother had the same passion for potions." Sirius said admittedly, wondering why Severus didn't just dump his daughter on any number of Hogwarts' House Elves whenever he needed to brew potions. "James Potter was my Potions partner… our interest in the subject was limited to what potions we could make for pranks."

"You make it sound like I am all work and no play." Estella pouted. "I guess it would surprise you then that I spiked Filch's goblet with a potion that turned his hair green for a week."

Sirius flashed his daughter a conspiring look. "Say, you don't have anything like that on hand, do you?" He said as he turned the stove back on and reheated breakfast. "Moony's looking awfully grey these days."

"No way!" Estella said waving her hands in front of her, stepping away. "Uncle Remus gives as good as he gets."

"That's so cute." Sirius mused. "'Uncle' Remus! Who'd of thought ol' Moony would become all grown up."

"That's nothing, you didn't have to call him Professor Lupin all year, knowing what he was really like!" Estella scoffed, putting away some of the unused food back in the fridge.

"That's priceless." Sirius grinned. "I was almost convinced I had gone insane when I found out Remus had become a Professor!"

"Why, you don't think he would have made a very good teacher?" Estella frowned slightly.

"No, on the contrary. I always knew he'd make a great teacher." Sirius assured her. "Though I just could never picture him placing so much store on title."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, he was always just 'Moony' when he was teaching me how to do magic when I was younger." Estella shrugged. "One of the fringe benefits of living in a school." She added by way of explanation.

"Ah yes, I've noticed that you're pretty handy in defence." Sirius' eyes glittered at his daughter in pride. "You almost had me in the Shack, you know. We should go back there and give it a proper go – friendly of course - the Ministry won't pick up your under-aged magic there. Maybe there's something left for me to teach you."

Paling, Estella swallowed. "He didn't tell you, did he?" She asked.

"Who didn't tell me what, sweetheart?" Sirius asked as he dished up their breakfast, not seeing the expression on her face.

"What happened at the Shrieking Shack." Estella's jaw set in a firm line as she pushed away the memories.

"What happened at the Shrieking Shack?" Sirius asked, looking at his daughter's haunted face in concern.

"Never mind, it's all the past." Estella tried to deflect the question. "We…we… just don't…"

"Estella, what happened?" Sirius asked, his voice laced with fear, putting down a plate of pancakes with a little more force than he had intended. The possibilities were endless.

"I'll tell you later, alright?" Estella answered warily. "Why isn't Remus up yet?"

"You're changing the subject." Sirius narrowed his eyes at his offspring. "Don't think I didn't notice."

"I wasn't trying to be subtle." Estella shrugged, not averting her eyes. "Remus never sleeps this late."

"I suspect he wanted to give us some time together." Sirius said searching his daughter's eyes curiously, becoming increasingly convinced she wasn't going to divulge the information he wanted. Then, looking at the door behind her, he raised his voice so that a prying ear would hear him. "I bet he's spent the morning pacing his room wondering if we'll ever invite him down to eat."

"Should I go fetch him?" Estella asked, thankful that her father hadn't pushed her for more information.

"No need." Sirius said offhandedly as he set a third place at the table. "He's outside the door."

"I can't hear anything." Estella strained her ears, but sure enough, the kitchen door opened, revealing her Godfather. "Oh, there you are. Morning!"

Sirius watched Estella and Remus together, his daughter pulling the bemused werewolf to his seat and telling him excitedly how she had contributed to the meal they were about to have. The atmosphere had positively darkened when he had mentioned the Shrieking Shack to the radiant child before him, causing unnerving questions to linger in his mind. Resolving to question Remus about the matter at length at a later time, the escaped convict pushed his concerns to the back of his mind to concentrate on enjoying a morning with his family.

"So, Uncle Remus, I told Dad I would make smoothies for breakfast tomorrow; do you think we could go to the grocers later and get some fruit?" Estella's voice broke his reverie. He and Remus shared a meaningful look.

"Estella, your father needs to leave today." Remus said quietly. "It's too dangerous for him to stay here. It won't take the Ministry long to think of looking here again now I'm back from teaching."

"What? No! It's not fair!" Estella cried out.

"Relax, Missy." Sirius patted his daughter's hand encouragingly. "You and Moony will follow in a few days. We just have to take precautions, see. Now, did you find that Muggle snow globe hidden where I said it would be in your mother's room?"

"Yes, I packed it, why?" Estella nodded.

"It's a Portkey to where I'm going." Sirius explained. "I could have you come with me straight away, but I really don't know what condition I will find the place in."

"Where are you going?" Estella asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"My parent's London home." Sirius grimaced. He had once pledged never to return there.

"I didn't know there was a house in London too!" Estella said in surprise. "Uncle Sev didn't show me that one."

"He wouldn't have known where it was." Sirius explained. "My father was extremely paranoid, so the house is protected with many unplottable charms and wards. Anyone who didn't live in the house cannot get there without an invitational Portkey, and those who had seen the house would leave not knowing where it was."

"Why can't I come with you?" Estella pouted. "It's just a house, isn't it?"

"This house was the family's stronghold." Sirius said. "My parents didn't trust the Goblins at Gringotts with anything except their gold, so the house is full of their most prized possessions… namely dark arts artefacts and the like. I promise I will send for you as soon as I am sure it is safe. We can pick a room for you together and paint it, how's that sound?"

"Alright." Estella sighed. "When will you be leaving?"

"After breakfast I am afraid." Sirius frowned. "I know your Uncle let you come here, but I'll feel more comfortable once he doesn't know where I am."

"You think he would tip off the Ministry?" Estella frowned, her eyes darkening to a murky charcoal. "He wouldn't do that if he knows what's good for him."

"I don't doubt what he knows, I am worried about what he's capable of when he doesn't think." Sirius said. "It will only be for a day or so… sooner if I can manage it."

"Guess it's a good thing I didn't unpack." Estella smiled up at her father acceptingly. "Now I will be able to spend my time packing a few extra things to help make this house we're going to bearable."

"I'd like that very much." Sirius smiled back before looking to his friend in awe "Moony, how'd I get to be so lucky?"

Remus shrugged, watching the interplay between father and daughter with a warm feeling in his heart.

"You spent close to half your life in the most horrible hell imaginable and you consider yourself lucky?" Estella's brows shot above her hairline. "How can you be so lucky?"

"Because I have you." Sirius said gently, leaning over and caressing her cheek lovingly.

"Ugh." Estella giggled nervously, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the man's openness – her Uncle was the polar opposite to the man before her, and even though Remus was affectionate, not even he could hold a candle to her father's enthusiasm. "Again with the corny one-liners!"

Across from her, Remus chuckled. "I'm afraid Estella's right, Padfoot. You're acting like a lovesick puppy."

Sirius smiled at them goofily. "I can do that too." He said proudly, changing into his animagus form so he could give real puppy dog eyes to his daughter. Laughing uncontrollably, Estella patted the dog on the head, squirming when he began to lick her hand.

"Gosh, Padfoot, if you're hungry, have a sausage." She admonished the dog lightly, shoving a sausage in his mouth just as he was transforming back to his human self.

"Id ooo arf uh ick er ow ing nnnmmm ow!" Sirius garbled incoherently, his face full of sausage. Chewing and swallowing it completely, he reiterated. "Did you have to stick the whole thing in my mouth?"

"Did you have to transform with a mouthful of sausage?" Estella quipped back.

Sirius licked his fingers and pulled a face at his daughter. "You know, this was so much nicer than the other sausage you gave me last Summer." He said. "But of course, I cooked this one."

"Hey you're lucky it wasn't a dog biscuit." Estella growled back, her voice laced with sarcasm.

"What's wrong with dog biscuits?" Sirius asked innocently. "Padfoot likes them."

"Yuck." Estella screwed up her face, her hand half way across the table to reach for a apple.

"Don't touch that." Remus scolded her. "Go wash your hands!"

Estella held her hand out in front of her like it was infected and nodded, rushing to the sink to comply.

"Sheesh, Moony, do you have to be such a responsible adult?" Sirius pouted, throwing a apple over his shoulder at Estella as she was flicking him with water from her wet hands a few moments later. She caught the apple gratefully and took a bite from it as she rejoined them at the table.

"Someone has to maintain the order." Remus shrugged, smiling.

"Oh like you were really capable of maintaining order when you were busy moshing at Reading." Estella scoffed. "Don't think I didn't see you!"

Sirius stared at his daughter, noticing the nature of her shirt for the very first time. "You took my daughter to Reading? The Reading Music Festival?" He rounded on his friend in mock indignation. Then, smirking, he quipped. "My, seems you're not always the responsible one. I would have waited until she was at least 14!"

"Oh believe me, he had no idea what he was getting himself in for." Estella's lips curled. "Why do you think he's so grey?"

The dog animagus barked with laughter. "God, it's been years since I went to that! The summer after we all graduated I think was the last time I'd been!" Sirius thought aloud. "So, Moony, has it changed much? Estella, did he bring home a girl again?"

Estella gaped at her perceptively proper Godfather and shook her head. "Nope, only me and my friends." She responded. "Why, who else should he have brought home?"

Remus blushed an even darker shade of crimson and glared at Sirius.

"Oh…" Sirius said dramatically, taking heed of Remus' slight shake of head. "I don't recall. My memory you know, is not like it used to be. Forget I said anything."

His whole omission had been given with a underlying lilt of 'Moony got a girlfriend, Moony made out with a giiiirrrl.' This did not go overlooked by Estella, who eyed her father carefully before playing along and believing the implication that Azkaban had taken away his memory of the event.

Remus continued to glare while father and daughter sniggered into their pumpkin juice.

"Merlin knows what I've gotten myself into!" Remus shook his head, throwing down his napkin in defeat. "Sirius, I'd hate the be the responsible one, but you really should be leaving if you want to make the most of the daylight hours ahead of you. I'm sure you can't wait to see your mother."

"Your mother is alive?" Estella did a double take.

"She's not, and let me assure you she was hardly a loss." Sirius said lowly. "Remus is referring to a horrible portrait of her in the entry hall."

"Oh." Estella said, suddenly remembering something that set her mind in action. "Can't you just take it down?"

Sirius shrugged.

"You finished?" Remus gestured as he began to clear the table around them.

"Right-o. I'll be off then. Sorry you'll have to clean up old friend." Sirius smirked, leaping from the table with unerring energy. "Estella and I cooked, you clean."

"How utterly convenient." Remus drawled as he sent the dirty dishes flying into the sink with a flick of his wand. "Thankfully, unlike some, I use my wand."

"Sure, suck the fun out of it, Moony." Sirius grinned, his hands playing with his daughter's hair as he came to stand behind her. His look turned contemplative. "You know all the details?"

"Yes, Sirius, we've been over them a million times already." Remus shooed him off. "We'll meet up with you as planned, don't worry. Just don't leave the house and get yourself caught."

"Yes Mum." Sirius rolled his eyes, pitching a towel at Remus before ducking out of the room. "See you!"

Estella looked from her Godfather, to the messy kitchen, to the door her father had just left through and back again questioningly.

"Go to him." Remus urged her, shooing her away. "You don't really suppose he'd actually leave without you there to see him off?"

Smiling awkwardly at the unfamiliarity of the situation, Estella tried not to appear too eager as she rose from her chair and left the room.

"Are you going to Floo out?" Estella asked her father curiously, finding him in the Living room.

"No. I doubt the floo would be connected." Sirius shook his head, moving past the Lounge and into the Library. "Last thing I need is to hit a closed grate and end up falling out of Fudge's fireplace. Though mind you…" he gave his daughter a meaningful look, "…he and I really need to have words."

Estella growled. "Given half a chance he and I would be having words."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do then." Sirius smiled, kissing the top of his daughter's head after he had pulled a dusty looking ceremonial dagger in a sheaf from a overlooked top shelf. "Ah, here it is, my Portkey to hell. Be good for your Godfather while we're apart. I won't be here to cover for you."

"Yes, sir." She nodded, squeezing his forearm gently as he patted her cheek. "You take care of yourself too."

"I will." Sirius said, pulling his daughter into a one-armed hug. "Don't worry about me, alright? The house is unplottable, not even Narcissa will be able to get in there now. I don't plan on inviting her, and I am the only one who can."

"It's alright." Estella smiled reassuringly. "I believe you. Now go."

"I'll see you in a few days, I promise." Sirius pledged, stepping away to activate the Portkey.

The room empty, Estella shuddered. Though she was accustomed to it just being her Godfather and herself alone in the house, it suddenly felt empty without her father with them. It was almost scary just how natural it felt to have him around.

"Estella!" Her Godfather's voice bellowed from the kitchen, blissfully distracting her from her thoughts. "What do you know about the Muggle airplane?"

* * *

Estella and Remus had rendezvoused with Sirius three days later, giving the hiding convict a chance to lock away the most threatening of dark objects his parent's matrimonial home possessed and give it a hearty dusting; as well as giving Estella and Remus a chance to establish their alibi. The day Sirius had left, they had been sighted at the Ministry registering a travel itinerary and activating a international Portkey to Spain; allegedly set to return the weekend before school resumed. Once in Spain, the pair had boarded a Muggle airplane and flown back to the UK, touching down at Heathrow later that same night. They were scheduled to fly back to Barcelona just in time to activate their return Portkey. 

As such, they were all housebound. Not that any of them minded, for there was enough in the house and in each other's company to keep them occupied for many a summer.

Coming to land in the entrance hall of the gloomy looking abode, Estella and Remus were necessarily quiet as to not to disturb the omnipresent eyes of the overbearing portrait. Unfortunately for them, the slight 'pop' from the Portkey was enough to draw back the curtains and set her off.

"Bane of my existence! Rotten fruit of my loins! Plotting to besmirch the sanctity of his father's threshold with filthy mudbloods and blood traitors!" The angry looking woman screamed.

A bemused expression on her face, Estella faced the portrait head on. "Why, hello Grandmother." She said benignly.

The woman's expression changed. "You're back!" She said, almost delightedly. "I trust your Uncle raised you the right way."

Having just heard their arrival, Sirius emerged from a neighbouring drawing room to hear his mother's last comment. A shocked look on his face, he looked to his daughter and friend questioningly, only to see them shrugging in confusion.

Knowing from Remus' conversation on the plane, Estella slipped on the mask she wore at the Malfoy's with ease. "My Uncle is head of Slytherin House." Estella said proudly. "I am well versed in the beliefs of its most valued student."

'I think they're all a fascist load of codswallop, but I know all about them.' Her mind finished.

"I thank the dark stars you did not have to live with your Blood traitors of parents." Her grandmother lamented. "It is a shame you are not a male, child, though I am sure you will marry a powerful pureblood one day in honour of the blood that flows through your veins."

"My Uncle has been in negotiations with Lucius Malfoy, Grandmother." Estella informed the gullible old portrait, a hint of sarcastic enthusiasm in her voice. "His son is around my age."

"I doubt you could have aimed any higher!" Mrs Black gasped. "BOY! You had better accept the terms."

"I most certainly will not!" Sirius bellowed at his mother, placing a protective hand on his daughter's shoulder.

"Don't worry Grandmother," Estella said in a superior tone, turning her nose up at her father in contempt. "As I am heir apparent to the Snape line, my Uncle has a vested interest. Lucius has been ever so kind as to lobby the Ministry to grant him loco parentis. After all, in light of my father's convict status, my Uncle remains my guardian."

"Never would I have thought to see the day where grace and purity was returned to the noble house of Black." Mrs Black beamed, looking almost foreign with a smile on her face. "Whatever are you doing here without your Uncle, child. It vexes me to see you in such inferior company."

"I was kidnapped." Estella said forlornly. "I only consented willingly when I discovered I would be brought here. To think my father would soon as destroy all that he could get his hands on! I took it upon myself to come salvage what I could… at your behest of course."

"Your forefathers would be indebted to you, child." Mrs Black said congenially, shooting daggers at her muggle-sympathising son. "Kreacher will assist you with anything you require. Take Regulus' old room. It is most befitting of this house's true heir."

"Why thank you, Grandmother." Estella curtsied exaggeratedly before allowing her ashen-faced father pull her out of the room, and out of ear shot of the disdainful old portrait.

"What is going on?" He asked in confusion after he had cast a privacy bubble. "You've been here before? What is with the Slytherin talk?"

"I had no idea. Honest." Estella shrugged. "Did you like my act?"

"It was an act?" Sirius asked dumbly.

"No, I'm really a Slytherin and want to marry Draco Malfoy." Estella stuck her finger down her throat and made retching noises. "Come on! I know better than that! You should have seen your face though, it was priceless! And Uncle Remus! Merlin, you looked like you were going to wet yourself!"

"Sweet mother of Merlin, I'd known your Uncle had versed you how to act around the select circles of our society, but I didn't realise you were so good!" Remus gawked at his niece. "That was amazing!"

Still a little shaky from seeing his daughter openly win his mother's favour, Sirius rest his hands on Estella's shoulders. "Just how close are you to the Malfoys?"

"Oh, what, you mean besides Lucius trying to get his hands on the dark objects in this house, Narcissa trying to get me to call her mother and Draco salivating over the power we would wield together? Not very close at all."

"That's all?" Sirius paled. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that man is?"

"Of course." A haunted look came over Estella's face. "Why do you think I go to such lengths to stay in his favour?"

"Oh I don't know, you're a sadist who likes mutilating body art?" Sirius drawled.

"It's just role playing!" Estella protested. "I'd never go that far."

"It's not safe." Sirius whispered, fear gripping his heart.

"No, it's not." Estella agreed. "But as the saying goes, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."

Pulling his daughter into a fierce hug – more to assure himself of her wellbeing than anything else.

"Let's not think of such things." Remus suggested, breaking the moment. "Sirius, how about you show us to our rooms?"

* * *

Estella did, in fact, take Regulus' old room as her Grandmother had directed. It brought Sirius much joy to know he was getting one up on his batty wench of a mother, and Estella revelled in playing the double role – it was the one thing in the entire Summer she was familiar with. Kreacher too, had taken a specific liking to his new Mistress, and was only too eager to please her despite never listening to a thing Sirius or Remus said. 

"Ask him to chop his head off with a butter knife." Sirius pleaded with his daughter for the millionth time that week. "He'd do it for you."

"Don't talk like that." Estella admonished her father. "Who else will I get to boss around?"

"You can boss me around." Sirius offered, desperate to be rid of the elf. "Oh alright… I wouldn't want that ugly monster's blood staining your perfect little hands anyway. I'll miss it when you go back to school though – nothing will get done."

Kreacher had let the house go to ruin after the death of his former Mistress; and, in harbouring the same beliefs as said matriarch, he hated Sirius and Remus with a passion; often refusing to carry out their orders, or fulfilling them extremely poorly. With Estella, however, things were different. Under the impression that she would be the one to bring honour back to the house of Black, the house elf was only too keen to please her. As soon as the child had deviously told him that she was a 'sickly' child and was highly vulnerable to high levels of dust and mould, the house elf suddenly couldn't get a room clean enough… often forbidding the young girl entrance into a room so he could clean it 'one more time because he really didn't want his mistress to fall ill.' Sirius' room, was cleaned the least effectively, Estella had noticed, so she went in there one day and put on a spectacular show of wheezing and coughing in order to entice the elf to do a proper job. Kreacher came running and cleaned the room top to bottom, before disappearing to his room for the rest of the day; returning later that night covered in burn marks from an iron and bruises over most of its lanky torso.

"Kreacher made Mistress sick. Is Mistress pleased with Kreacher's punishment?" He had asked. Estella was speechless. Sirius, on the other hand, was rapt, and made it his favourite past time to put pepper on Estella's napkins and collars, inducing her to sneeze. The house elf, in turn, never failed to entertain him with its valiant attempts to win his daughter's favour.

"Stop doing it!" Estella scolded her father, distraught, as she leant over a cauldron in the basement. "Kreacher will kill himself!"

"And your point is?" Sirius smirked at his daughter. "Estella, that same house elf used to beat me on my father's orders when I was a child… he's crazy and insane. I wouldn't do it if it wasn't deserved."

"Why don't you just throw him a sock and be done with him?" Estella shrugged exasperatedly.

"Because he knows how to get to this house." Sirius said. "Besides, the shock of clothing would kill him."

"Isn't that your point?" Estella frowned, confused.

Sirius watched his daughter in fascination as she methodically prepared ingredients and added them to her cauldron.

"It's no wonder you enjoy helping me in the kitchen." He said quietly, in awe.

Setting the cauldron aside to cool, Estella turned and looked at her father curiously. "On that note, it's a wonder you don't enjoy making potions."

"I never said I didn't like it." Sirius said defensively.

"I've never seen you behind a cauldron." Estella said matter-of-factly, her eyes staring directly into her fathers, reading his expression.

"I just don't find it productive." Sirius shrugged, "Why make potions when you can get them ready made at the apothecary?"

Not even bothering to enter into a debate on the quality of over the counter potions, Estella rolled her eyes. Adopting her father's tone, she leered. "Why cook food the Muggle way when you can use magic?"

The pair stared at each other challengingly, playful opposition glinting in their matching grey eyes.

"You know what I think?" Estella spoke first, casually interjecting the silence as she stirred the cooling potion with her wand. "You won't admit that you like potions because it will mean admitting that you share something in common with my uncle."

Dumbfounded, Sirius narrowed his gaze. "That's not it!" He said shortly.

"Oh really?" Estella quirked a brow at him knowingly. "Could have fooled me."

"Now see here!" Sirius wagged his finger, becoming increasingly agitated by just how perceptive his daughter was being. "I may be new at this parenting thing but I don't think it's your place to question what I do."

"You don't think?" Estella's brows shot above her hairline as she barely managed to suppress her laughter. "I was merely making an observation."

"I wish I had never let you find this room." Sirius grumbled. "There's so much more we could be doing."

"What happened to asking me what I want?" Estella gave her father a sidelong look as she bottled the completed potion.

"You asked me not to keep asking you that, remember?" Sirius grinned triumphantly.

"Oh, so you're going to stop me from doing what I want?" Estella frowned. "Even when it's not doing any harm or interfering with my homework?"

"Estella, it's hardly normal for a twelve year old to spend all Summer couped up in a basement brewing potions." Sirius sighed. "My animagus form is not registered and we're in the centre of Muggle London, we could get away with a walk. You're just a kid, you should be out flying on broomsticks and running and playing with your friends."

At the mention of flying, Estella stiffened, but said nothing. Not paying attention to his daughter's body language, Sirius continued. "Maybe we can talk Dumbledore into letting us have Harry for a few days… we can go out in the country someplace where no one will ever see us and all four of us – you, me, Moony and Harry, can play Quidditch even."

"I don't know how to play Quidditch." Estella replied, refuting the idea. "Besides, it's much too risky for you to be out."

"You don't know how to play Quidditch?" Sirius cried out, incredulous. "Your uncle, I can understand, but what was Moony thinking? We'll have to fix that… oh, I know… we can go to Hogwarts and use the room of requirement. No one will see me there. Have you heard of that? It's on the map. Where is the map anyway?"

"What are you talking about?" Estella snapped, confused. "If you're going to continue being like this I'm going to blow up my cauldron!"

"You're making another potion?" Sirius was exasperated.

"Look, I get it, alright!" Estella cried, dropping her knife with a clatter as she turned to glare at her father. "You don't like that I like something my uncle likes." She paused to take a calming breath. "Look, you're over reacting, alright? I do not spend all of my Summers making potions – nor did my Uncle keep me from doing normal stuff to indulge him. Just ask Remus, he'll tell you! This house just hasn't been lived in for close to ten years, it needed to be restocked."

"But I just don't see why we couldn't have ordered them from an apothecary." Sirius whined.

"So if I were mortally ill and required a restorative draught you would trust that the potions from a apothecary were prepared in a way that would work properly?" Estella's lips curled into a thin line as she stared at her father pointedly.

"I would see to it that you were treated at Hogwarts by Madame Pomfrey." Sirius parried.

"You do realise that the potions supply for the Hogwarts infirmary is stocked by my uncle." Estella smirked.

"Fine. You win." Sirius shook his head. "But I still don't see why you need to make so many potions. We'll never have a use for half of this!"

"Do you even know what half of this stuff is?" Estella raised an expectant brow at her father.

"How much longer you gonna be down here?" Sirius whined resignedly, changing the subject. Then, suddenly remembering why he had come to seek out his daughter in the first place, he added. "Buckbeak's feeling neglected."

"Buckbeak's feeling neglected?" Estella rolled her eyes. "Right."

"Oh alright, your Godfather's feeling a tad left out too." Sirius smirked.

"Last potion." Estella said, adding her essence of hellebore to her bubbling cauldron. "Five more minutes."

Sirius peered over Estella's shoulder into the murky steam before them, his curiosity getting the better of him. "Alright, so what are you making?"

"Draft of Peace." Estella replied, as if it were obvious.

"What?" Sirius was astonished. "That was a fifth year OWLs potion when I was at school!"

"Still is." Estella shrugged. "Though who knows why, it's not really that difficult."

"Not really that difficult?" Sirius gaped. "Not really that difficult? Estella, it's a fifth year potion! What are you doing knowing a fifth year potion?"

"I've been making potions since I could read, you know that." Estella sighed. "If I really applied myself I could probably pass NEWT level Potions."

"Where was your Godfather when all of this was going on?" Sirius scowled, his resentment building. "You should have been outside chasing butterflies and skipping rope at that age, not being kept captive in a dungeon learning how to make potions!"

"I already told you, I wanted to learn!" Estella cried. "And he hardly had me chained down there all the time."

"Five year old's don't know what they want, let alone what's good for them." Sirius scorned. "I thought he was just humouring you with a few basics! Your Uncle should have known better!"

"He did the best he could." Estella hissed, her eyes narrowing at her father in her uncle's defence. "If you have issue with how my Uncle raised me, take it up with him."

"I have issue with the man raising you period." Sirius huffed. "It should have been him in Azkaban, not me."

Estella thumped the cauldron she had been lifting back down with a crash. "You take that back." She said in a dark, low tone, rounding on her father; her grey eyes darkening to a deep charcoal, her glare looking altogether too much like a true Snape's in the dim light.

"Why?" Sirius turned his nose up in defiance. "I did nothing Estella, nothing. Your Uncle was a Death Eater! Am I wrong in suggesting he deserved it more than I did?"

"No..." Estella screwed up her face in discontent.

"Sure, Dumbledore secured him diplomatic immunity or whatever the hell you want to call it after he turned spy." Sirius waved his hand dismissively, cutting Estella off. "But he wasn't always a spy, you know, Estella. He's as guilty as they come."

"I know that." Estella hissed.

"Do you?" Sirius raised a brow in disbelief. "I don't think you do. Are you saying he was upfront with you about what he did? I find that hard to believe."

"Alright so he didn't go into specifics. What did you want him to do, give me nightmares?" Estella snapped haughtily. "He told me it was in the past and that he regretted it and that he had paid a price."

"Paid a price!" Sirius scoffed.

"Do you think he wanted the life he has?" Estella cried.

"He was free!" Sirius shouted.

"Is he?" Estella shouted back from where she was pouring her now ruined potion down the sink. "There's more to confinement than just bars and locks."

Sirius stared at his daughter as though she was a stranger. "You know, sometimes I wonder if that performance you put on for Kreacher is really all an act." He blurted unthinkingly.

Estella froze, her shocked eyes glassing over with tears as her lower lip trembled; her heart and body feeling as though they had just been betrayed. Suddenly feeling suffocated in the small basement room, Estella brushed past her father and tore up the stairs, looking clearly distraught.

Realising what he had done, Sirius tried to renege. "Estella!" He called up after her. "I didn't mean that!"

Tracing his daughter's steps up into the kitchen, the fraught father was cut off by a overprotective werewolf.

"Remus, let me pass!" Sirius pleaded with his friend as he tried to step around the man who was blocking the doorway leading out of the kitchen.

"No." Remus said in a no-nonsense tone. "I come down here because I thought I could hear shouting, and then seconds later Estella comes running out of here looking like her whole world had just crumbled! What did you do to her?"

"What makes you think I did anything?" Sirius sulked. "It's all his fault!"

"By him, I assume you mean Severus?" Remus sighed. "Sirius, you have to let go…"

"…don't tell me what to do, Remus." Sirius interrupted. "Don't tell me I have to forgive him."

"Don't forgive him then." Remus shook his head. "But don't expect Estella to choose between you."

"I am not asking her to choose!" Sirius stamped his foot in frustration before huffing. "Though it wouldn't surprise me if she picked him! I can't believe it Moony!" His voice broke as he fell into a chair at the kitchen table and buried his face in his hands. "I can't believe it Moony, what did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this?" The distraught man's muffled voice reached the sensitive ears of his werewolf friend.

"Sirius." Remus said falteringly, his voice softening as he placed a comforting hand on the man's shoulder. "You're going to have to accept that Severus is a part of her life – a big part of her life."

"I know that." Sirius said forlornly, in a tone not unlike his daughter's moments earlier. "I really didn't mean to upset her. I just want to spend time with her!"

"Then why don't you spend time with her?" Remus said. "You were down there with her for a while, I thought you were spending time with her, helping her. Merlin knows she could teach us both a thing or two."

"It's hard, Moony." Sirius admitted. "I'm so proud that she's so good… but it hurts."

The man didn't have to explain anymore.

"I know, Sirius." Remus said soothingly. "But maybe you should be telling her this."

"Oh, so you'll let me pass then?" Sirius snorted.

"I won't keep you from your child, Sirius, you should know that." Remus sighed. "I just kept you long enough to sort yourself out."

"Thanks, Moony." Sirius acknowledged gratefully as he rose from his chair and looked at his friend squarely. "I really don't know what's wrong with me! Azkaban…"

"Say no more, Padfoot." Remus held up his hand in protest. "We're all going to need time. I'll help you as much as I can."

"I'm glad you're here." Sirius sighed, embracing his friend briefly. "I'd ruin everything otherwise."

"Go to your daughter, Sirius." Remus waved him off towards the door. "No doubt she'll be in your mother's room with Buckbeak."

"You know her really well, don't you?" Sirius shook his head in amazement. "Have I thanked you for being there for her, Remus?"

"Only every second day." Remus rolled his eyes, his lips twitching. "Quit stalling and go make amends."

"What if she hates me now?" Sirius said worriedly, turning back to face his friend as he got half way to the door.

"You said yourself that I know Estella really well." Remus said by way of response. "It's up to you to make the first move. She'll be waiting."

Sirius nodded, transformed into Padfoot, and left the room.

Sure enough, Sirius found his daughter in Buckbeak's company. The door to his mother's room was slightly ajar.

'She'll be waiting for you.' Remus voice echoed in his mind as he nudged the door open wide enough to creep through.

Through a veil of shaggy black dog's fur, Sirius could make out the resting form of Buckbeak in a dimly lit corner of the room; and there, resting against the majestic beast with her back to the doorway, was Estella. The slight hum of her walkman reached his ears as he crept closer, and he could see her twirling her wand round the fingers of her hand – a trait he had come to identify as a nervous habit. As the sleek black body of his animagus form melted in with the shadows, seemingly undetected, glinting grey eyes flashed with astonishment when the hand twirling the wand stilled, the wand stiffening into a defensive pose. Then, almost simultaneously, the hand relaxed, and the wand started twirling again.

She knew he was in the room.

"Hello, Padfoot." Estella's voice acknowledged him, the owner of said voice unmoving; though the walkman had at some point been switched off.

Taking that as his invitation, Sirius – as Padfoot – padded up to his daughter's side and nudged his head against her arm submissively, his puppy dog eyes gazing up at her pleadingly. He whined.

Exhaling a long breath, Estella pursed her lips; her hand finding itself buried in the dog's soft fur.

"Prat." Estella murmured, the anger leaving her. "You know I have a soft spot for strays."

Padfoot whined, crooking his neck so that Estella would scratch a little higher up, behind his ears. Complying, Estella pinched the sensitive gathering of that she found threateningly.

"You know you can't keep transforming every time we have a fight and then just expect everything to be okay." She said warningly. "I still want you to take back what you said."

She was answered with a apologetic woof.

"Oh, no." She hit the dog on the nose admonishingly. "Doggy responses don't count."

At that, the dog backed away, head bowed, and transformed.

"I'm sorry I upset you." Sirius said unhesitatingly. "I take back what I said. I wouldn't wish Azkaban on anyone. Especially not someone who has done such good job raising my daughter."

Estella peered at her father questioningly. 'Well this is a complete turn around!' Her mind thought. Studying him closely, Estella could see that he was sincere – his admission heartfelt.

"My uncle would dearly love to hear you say that." Estella said coyly.

Sirius shuddered. Though it was hard to deny that the unconventional potions master had indeed done the best he could with Estella, there was no way in bluebell flames that he was going to admit that to the man.

"I don't know why I behaved like such an ass." Sirius admitted to his child, somewhat frustrated with himself. "My mind is still split in two from the Dementors… I'm hardly myself anymore."

"Alright, I'll buy that." Estella said. "But I'm warning you, there will come a time when both you and Uncle Sev will have to stop using that as an excuse."

"I'm not using it as an excuse!" Sirius said. "I'm stating fact."

Estella stared at him hopelessly and shook her head.

"Fine. You're not using it as an excuse." She drawled, putting her headphones back into her ears. "Now if you'll excuse me, I wish to preserve this conversation in my mind for my pensieve."

Sirius did a double take as the implication of what she said sunk in. "Don't you dare show him!" He growled playfully.

"I was only messing with you, you know." Estella assure him after a break, backing down on her threat. "Though the look on your face when you thought Severus would see it! That I could use."

"Why?" Sirius asked, confused.

"Because if I let Uncle Sev see that look on your face, it will drive him insane not knowing what caused it." Estella replied with an evil glint in her eye.

Astonished, Sirius could only gawk. "You truly are my daughter, aren't you?" Sirius beamed. "I'm surprised your Uncle is still sane."

"You think he is sane?" Estella deadpanned, her lips twitching. "Was that another compliment? If I didn't know any better I'd suspect that he slipped some Unctuous Unction in your butterbeer."

"Some what?" Sirius stared at her blankly.

"I don't know, maybe you should ask him for some next time you see him." Estella smirked. "Would do you a world of good."

"What is it? A potion?" Sirius persisted, his curiosity piqued.

"You call yourself a prankster, yet you've never heard of Unctuous Unction?" Estella raised her brow. "I had Remus put some in Uncle Sev's tea once, why don't you ask him?"

"Why, what did it do to Snape?" Sirius asked impatiently, his eyes wide open with awe.

"Well, let's just say it put him off tea." Estella snorted. "Though I must say it made for an interesting day."

"You're not going to tell me any specifics, are you?" Sirius scowled. "Tease."

"What, and spoil my fun?" Estella grinned mischievously. "What would be the point in that?"

"You'll make me happy." Sirius stated without hesitation.

"Ah, but I already make you happy." Estella retorted smugly.

"Touche." Sirius shook his head. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"Is that a compliment or a curse?" Estella quipped.

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know, why don't you guess?"

"You're not going to tell me any specifics, are you?" Estella mimicked. "Tease."

The pair erupted into infectious giggles, their past indiscretions pushed aside.

"So what made you come up here of all places, anyway?" Sirius asked his daughter once they had calmed down. "It positively stinks in here."

"Hey, quiet, you're insulting Buckbeak!" Estella admonished her father. "Besides, I thought you said that Buckbeak was feeling neglected."

"I can't get anything past you, can I?" Sirius shook his head in awe.

"Nope." Estella threw back flippantly as she leant back into the feathery down of the resting Hippogriff. "So you flew off on Buckbeak, did you? Where did you go?"

"Well for a long time I just flew." Sirius replied wistfully as he joined his daughter propped up against the torso of the content animal. "It's the most amazing feeling…"

"I know." Estella nodded.

"What do you mean you know?" Sirius narrowed his eyes. "I hadn't finished what I was going to say."

"You were talking about what it was like to fly on Buckbeak, weren't you?"

"No, I was talking about what it was like to fly again after being confined to a cell for 12 years." Sirius corrected.

"Oh." Estella mused. "You know I saw you escape. Saw you from a window as you were flying away."

"I saw you too." Sirius said. "That day you flew Buckbeak… I was watching from a cave in the hills just outside Hogsmeade."

"Really?" Estella's eyes widened. "You know, I was really lucky not to get in trouble for leaving school grounds like that. Though if you look at it that way, I suppose anyone who takes off on a broom is technically leaving school grounds."

"Your mind works in mysterious ways, Missy, has anyone told you that before?" Sirius shook his head in astonishment.

Before Estella could answer, Kreacher appeared.

"Murdering, traitorous son! Turns his mother's room into cage for filthy foul beast of satan!" The disgruntled house elf grumbled under his breath as he carried out his orders to feed the creature and muck out its room – which he did to great effect seeing as it was really the beloved quarters of his deceased mistress.

Sirius and Estella were heaved aside by the rising form of the Hippogriff, and from their vantage point sprawled on the floor, they could only watch in silent transfixion as, as though in slow motion, the Hippogriff reared on its hind legs and kicked Kreacher across the room forcefully.

"Buckbeak, no!" Estella cried out, her hands moving quickly to try and placate the wild beast… the wild beast who was apparently having a hard time distinguishing Kreacher from his next meal of ferret. Meanwhile, Sirius was torn. Though it brought him much joy to see the pesky little elf get its just desserts, he did not wish to expose Estella to it. Besides, despite his failings, they needed Kreacher around. Only Kreacher was able to remove some of the dark objects that the house held in its bowels. When Estella had professed to her Grandmother her plan to spirit away under cover of darkness the most precious of dark objects, she was only too willing to give her blessing. As far as the old woman knew, Estella was having Kreacher pack up and send to her Uncle her family's most 'treasured' possessions without her father's knowledge. As far as she was aware, her reluctant son was asleep in his room, blissfully unaware of his daughter's devious attempts to preserve what he had come to the house to destroy.

To make a show of things, father and daughter had put on frequent showdowns… with Estella 'trying' to rescue a miscellaneous dark object from her father; who always invariably ended up destroying it in front of her and causing her to erupt into crocodile tears. Later, in the sanctity of either of their private rooms, they would giggle and laugh about it, conspiring late into the night their next award winning performance. All the while, Kreacher would be downstairs, packing away objects he himself had hidden from Sirius and sending them off to Estella's 'wonderful' Uncle under Mrs Black's watchful eye; both unaware that Severus – after a letter from his niece deploying his help – would suitably dispose of the packages.

Estella's actions to prevent Buckbeak from attacking Kreacher further served well in reinforcing to the psychotic house elf that Estella was on side.

"Thankyou young mistress!" Kreacher bowed deeply. "Mistress is saving Kreacher's life. "Kreacher is sorry he cannot rid the house of its living filth."

"That's alright, Kreacher." Estella slipped on the mask effortlessly. "Be sure to assure my grandmother's portrait that we succeeded in protecting the valuable keepsakes of this room."

"Young mistress is very thoughtful, Kreacher thinks." The foolish elf bowed so low his nose was rubbing in a pile of Buckbeak's excrement, bringing a whole new definition to the term 'brown nosing' for Sirius, who could barely contain his mirth at this point. "Young mistress' grandmother will be very pleased to hear young mistress is successful in deceiving her horrible convict father."

As on cue, Sirius scowled and spat at Kreacher incoherently.

Later that day, once Kreacher had informed his mistress of her granddaughter's 'heroic' deeds, the one dimensional portrait of the woman became immovably convinced that she had a weapon in her granddaughter.

How little did she realise just how wrong she was.

"Grandmother." Estella approached the portrait sweetly one day after most all of the unwanted dark objects had been purged from the house. "There's an estate in Devonshire on my mother's side that I would dearly love to make a home for myself in one day."

"I do not believe I am familiar with it, child." Her grandmother replied.

"It's even more unplottable than this house." Estella stated. "Superiorly appointed as well."

"Is this where you have sent our family's treasures?" Mrs Black asked.

"Yes, of course." Estella said. "The extensive dungeon vaults are ideal for preserving valuable family heirlooms. A bulk of the Snape legacy is bound there."

"I see." Mrs Black nodded approvingly. "What do you wish to transfer there now?"

"Well, since I am as much a Black as I am a Snape, and it appears my father will not relinquish his stronghold on the Black estate anytime soon, I was ever so curious if it was at all possible to have that beautiful family tapestry grace the halls of my noble home." Estella asked. "I would dearly love to remove it tonight without my father knowing. I fear he would insist on keeping it here just to spite me."

"There are protective charms on it to ensure your father won't destroy it as long as it hangs in this house." Her grandmother assured her. "Are you sure you wouldn't like to let it hang here as a poignant reminder? This house will belong to you before too long."

"I know, Grandmother." Estella frowned, trying to think of another tact. "It just seems so wrong though to have established my own House of Black with all the exquisite Black artefacts without the one thing that will truly make it a home. I'd even ask if you'd like your portrait moved there, but I like the fact that I have you and Kreacher to watch over my interests here while I attend school."

"If it means so much to you child, I would be honoured to see the Black family tree hang in a hall of more grandeur." Her grandmother conceded eventually. "I will see to it that Kreacher sends it on before your father is able to intervene. I do trust measures are in place to ensure he cannot enter this Manor?"

"Thankyou Grandmother." Estella beamed genuinely. 'Dad will get the biggest surprise for Father's Day tomorrow!'

Estella was sure her father's whoop of joy was audible three blocks away. When he'd awaken to see his most hated tapestry removed, he'd been unable to restrain his jubilation… swinging Estella around in his arms and thanking her profusely.

"That's only half your present." She whispered in his ears before adding more loudly, for Kreacher's benefit. "I only removed it so it wouldn't have to befoul itself with your presence!"

"Befoul itself with your presence?" Sirius had quizzed her lightly when they were away from eavesdropping ears. "You have been spending far too much time talking with that blasted portrait of my mother!"

"It's all for a good cause." Estella said cryptically. "Just wait and see."

Soon after, Estella disappeared into the basement potions lab one of her Black ancestors had established many years ago. As part of a plan she had hatched with her Godfather, she put the other half of her father's first Father's Day present in action. Unbeknownst to Sirius, his mother's portrait had been removed from behind its curtain and propped up in the basement; and Estella had confined Kreacher to his room for the entire day; such was in her power.

The spited portrait of Mrs Black was under the miscomprehension that her granddaughter wanted her visage to observe and witness the child's formidable potion making skills. Estella had won the picture over with the promise that she was making a special potion that would render her father and his 'filthy halfbreed friend' defenceless, vulnerable to the tender mercies of both she and Kreacher.

"Perhaps your son will turn out better after a mild attitude adjustment." She had suggested, winning over the old woman's acceptance. Just as Estella had planned, it was the baneful old woman herself that suggested that her portrait be moved downstairs so she could watch the potion being brewed.

Estella could only smile malevolently. Sometimes she really did think she should have ended up in her Uncle's house.

"Remus! What is she doing down there? Why can't I go down there?" Sirius pouted. "It's my first Father's Day with Estella! Why is she avoiding me like this?"

"You never did have much store for patience, did you, Sirius?" Remus chuckled, dealing out the next hand of cards. "It will be well worth your wait, trust me."

"I suppose I can't complain." Sirius sighed, glancing over his hand with a calculating look. "Kreacher's out of sight and my Mother has learned to shut up."

Five minutes passed.

"Alright Moony. Tell me what she's doing down there!" Sirius pleaded desperately.

Looking at his watch nonchalantly, Remus shrugged. "Why don't you go down there and see for yourself?"

Sirius scraped his chair along the stone kitchen floor eagerly in his rush to satisfy his curiosity.

"Estella!" He called down the stairwell. "I'm coming down."

With that, Sirius barrelled down the stairs. Remus, not wanting to miss out on the surprise his friend was in store for, followed close on his heels.

End Chapter: Family Connections


	76. Renewed Understanding

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated: Saturday 14th May 2005

**Chapter Seventy Six: Renewed Understanding**

"Estella?" Sirius called out into the seemingly empty basement, his eyes directed immediately towards a covered object in the centre of the room. Smiling at the goofy blue bow wrapped around the tall, thin object, he tugged off the little card.

_Yours to do with as you please!_

Curious, Sirius removed the sheet covering the object, reeling back in shock when he recognised his mother's portrait.

His mother's portrait that was no longer an invincible scar on his wall.

His lips curling in a smug, self satisfied grin, Sirius leered at the portrait menacingly. "Goodbye, mother." He drawled, drawing his wand before the woman could even react to her predicament. "Incendio!"

The portrait's screams fading instantaneously (Sirius had put an awful lot of power into the spell), he looked around for his daughter.

"Estella? You can come out now." He furrowed his brow, noticing another small object covered with a sheet in front of him.

_'That wasn't there a moment ago_.' His mind was sure of it. Shrugging it off, he lifted the sheet covering the narrow object that stood about three feet high.

"Boo!" A small child's voice greeted him, causing him to fall to his knees in shock. Erupting into peels of laughter at the joke, she then stared at him intently, their eyes level, before starting to clap happily when the stunned man blinked.

Sirius was dumbfounded. Turning to his werewolf friend, who didn't hesitate in bending down and scooping up a contended Estella in his arms - looking for all the world to be loving every second - he looked for answers.

"She did this, for me?" He said, his eyes damp with tears of happiness. "I could never think of a gift more giving."

"It's the first thing she thought of." Remus said proudly, "There's an antidote that will have to be given daily. I'm afraid she'll have to regrow into her own age in time for school."

Sirius nodded and stood opposite his friend to look at his toddler daughter longingly, who returned the look with a blank face. "She doesn't know who I am, does she?"

"No." Remus shook his head. "Her mind is that of her 3 year old self. I think she'd like to meet you though." Jiggling the babbling child on his hip, he pointed at Sirius. "Estella." He said, capturing her attention. "I'm going to give you to this man here, alright?"

Sirius held out his hands and accepted the child from Remus. Cherishing the feel of his baby daughter's light weight in his arms, he smiled.

"Hello, Estella." He said, his voice catching in his throat. "I'm your Daddy."

"Daddy?" Estella questioned in her cute little baby voice, patting his cheeks with her small hands.

His heart melted. For Father's Day his child had given him the one thing a father could want the most… the chance to be a father, and his child's trust.

* * *

Time was going too quickly for Sirius; he wanted each 'year' to be 364 days long, not a meagre 3; though he was making a show of throwing a party every day as the child grew back to her own age. 

"It's arrived!" Sirius was beaming as he accepted the long thin package from the Owl and put his payment into a pouch attached to its leg. "Moony? Did you hear me? It's arrived!"

"What's arrived?" Remus asked in a stage whisper as he bustled into the room. "For goodness sake, Sirius, she's just gotten to sleep, you're going to wake her up!"

"I don't care!" Sirius laughed out loud in unadulterated glee. "I've waited all week for this and now it's here! I want to give it to her straight away!"

"Whatever have you ordered now?" Remus asked warily. "You're spoiling her rotten, Sirius. Severus will kill you."

"So?" Sirius was giddy with his happiness. "He can bloody well take a number and get in line. I won't deny my child, Remus. I want to make up for everything."

"I know you do, Padfoot." Remus sighed. "But Estella isn't like a normal child. We spent ages transfiguring that play gym for her so it was just right and she still goes for the giant yellow ball every time. It's the…"

"…simple things. Yes I know, Moony!" Sirius rolled his eyes. "But come on, it's just a broom! She'll outgrow it in a week. I thought if she flew around the house…"

"You bought her a broom?" Remus frowned, his face pale. "Sirius…"

"I know, she has a fear of falling." Sirius looked at Remus seriously. "But I'll be there for her now, Remus. I'll be there to help her."

"It won't matter, Sirius." Remus grimaced. "She'll still…"

"Don't say that, Remus." Sirius frowned slightly. "It's that kind of negative attitude that isn't encouraging her. She can do anything if she sets her mind to it, I know she can."

"It's nice that you have such faith in her, Sirius, but you don't understand." Remus tried to reason with his friend. "You weren't there."

Sirius looked as though he had just been hit with a unforgivable. "You don't have to rub it in, Remus." He said quietly, his voice gruff.

"I'm sorry, Sirius. I didn't mean for it to come out that way, really I didn't." Remus reneged.

"Why are you so against Estella flying?" Sirius narrowed his eyes at his friend. "This broom goes five feet in the air, tops!"

Suddenly finding his feet very interesting, Remus sighed. "I'm going to tell you something, alright, and I want you to promise me two things."

"Done." Sirius nodded, sitting down, the wrapped package abandoned on the coffee table for the time being.

"Marauder's Oath, Sirius." Remus clarified.

"Tell me what I'm swearing to first." Sirius wasn't stupid.

"One, no one else knows this and I want it to stay that way." Remus stared at his friend, waiting for affirmation before continuing. "Two, when I tell you, don't do anything rash."

"Like what?" Sirius quirked a brow, his curiosity piqued.

"Hex me to Christmas." Remus said with no measure of humour.

"Remus, I don't think there's anything you could do that would make me…" Sirius began.

"Estella almost died on my watch." Remus blurted.

"WHAT?" Sirius roared in shock, leaping to his feet.

"Sirius… sit down." Remus pleaded wearily. "I'll explain."

"Damn right you will." Sirius growled defensively, the vice in his chest still squeezing the life out of him. "Now spill."

"I had been visiting with Estella for the afternoon…" Remus began. "We were playing hide and go seek in one of the old attics below the Astronomy tower after having just watched Quidditch practice…"

_Flashback_

_"Estella, where are you?" Remus called out playfully as he finished counting to ten. When he could see Estella's shoes sticking out from under the hem of a old curtain, the young werewolf smirked. "Oh **no**…" He drawled theatrically. "Where could she be? I can't seem to find her anywhere!"_

_When Remus couldn't hear the stifled giggle of the not-so-well hidden child, he frowned. "Estella?" he called out with a unfeigned edge to his voice as he forwent the theatrics to go directly to the curtain. Pulling it back suddenly, he braced himself for the sight of his goddaughter._

_"Got…" He started to announce his victory only to inhale sharply when all he found was the girl's shoes._

_'**Clever girl**' he thought to himself as he forced himself not to worry. He was the one who had suggested the game after all, so it was his own fault he had underestimated the four year old's strategic abilities._

_After continuing to be empty handed as he turned the room inside out, however, the werewolf could practically feel the grey hairs starting to grow._

_"Estella?" He called out firmly in a voice that did not betray his inner turmoil. "Come out now, cub. Game's over. You win."_

_Nothing._

_"Estella, this isn't funny anymore." Remus warned._

_Still nothing._

_It was then that Remus noticed a door he hadn't seen before… a suspiciously open door. Pushing the old heavy door forcefully, causing the rusty old hinges to creak and moan in protest, Remus opened the door wide enough for a grown man to squeeze through and found himself in a long, dusty corridor, a row of dirty windows bathing the room in distorted afternoon sun. Through the din of dust and cobwebs, at the far end of the room, Remus could see his goddaughter standing by a open window._

_"Estella!" Remus called out in alarm. "Stay away from that window."_

_Either unable to hear him, or unwilling to comply, the small child continued about her business, setting something down on the floor at her feet and standing aside it._

_"Up!" The child's voice called out, her determined voice reaching the sensitive ears of the werewolf from where he was running towards her. His eyes went as wide as bludgers when he realised what his goddaughter was doing._

_'**Merlin, that broom had to be 100 years old!**' Remus realised, his heart racing as he tried to get there in time._

_"Estella! Don't get on that broom!" Remus shouted out, the panic in his voice evident… but it was too late._

_"S'ok, Moony!" The unaffected child turned and waved at him, her feet ready to kick off. "I'm gonna do it just like the 'Kidditch team. Watch me!"_

_"Estella, no!" Remus lunged for the child as she kicked off enthusiastically, the broom shooting her just out of his reach as he landed in a heap where her feet had just been. "That broom is too old!"_

_"I'm flying, Moony!" Estella called out excitedly. "Look I'm flying!"_

_Clambering to his feet, Remus chanced a look out the window. Leaning out of the window slightly, he held his arms out to Estella. "OK, cub, well done." He said shakily, not wanting to alarm the child of her predicament. "Now come on back inside… we'll go get a better broom and start from the ground next time, hmmm?"_

_"Can't I just fly a bit?" Estella pouted, staying out of his reach as she flew in small circles. "I wanna see how high I can go!"_

_At that, the hyperactive child began to climb. Like it was happening in slow motion, Remus could only watch on in silent horror as the broom began to shake and disintegrate under the unsuspecting child. The broom was simply too old to be flown… he couldn't even understand why the decommissioned broom had not been destroyed outright._

_"Estella! NO!" Remus screamed as pieces of the broom began to fall to the ground. By this time, Estella was slowly beginning to lose altitude. The broom's magic spent, it was becoming unresponsive to its rider's commands._

_"Moony? Moony!" Estella cried out, fearful now as she realised the broom wasn't doing what she wanted it to. "I can't get back!"_

_Now, the broom was failing, jerking around as the wind directed it and oscillating up and down in stagnating bursts as the dying magic tried to sustain itself. Suddenly, the broom handle under Estella's hands splintered, the rotted wood crumbling through her fingers as the magic died completely, and the child was falling._

_Estella screamed._

_Fear gripping his heart, Remus pulled out his wand and did the only thing he could think of… he summoned the child to him._

_Bouncing sharply upwards moments before impacting with the earth, the g-forces the small child was subjected to as she hurtled back up towards her Godfather in the top story of the Castle gave her quite a fright. Landing safely in her shaking Godfather's arms, the child sobbed._

_End flashback_

"Remus." Sirius said quietly, trying to find the right words. "It was an accident. Could have happened to either me or Sel. Then with a whimsical smile of pride on his face, he added in reverent tones. "She's obviously inherited my sense of adventure…"

"If I hadn't found her, Sirius…" Remus' voice trailed off. "I should never have suggested we play such a game without clearing it of hazards first."

"It was a judgement call." Sirius frowned slightly. "You were in a school, Moony. They're supposed to be safe."

The pair sat in uncomfortable silence.

"I erased her memory of the event." Remus said finally.

Shooting his friend a quizzical look, Sirius shrugged. "Something that traumatic, I probably would have done the same."

"I don't think I did it right." Remus murmured, his eyes downcast. "Every time she's handled a broom since it's turned to dust in her hands."

"No one suspected anything when that started to happen?" Sirius asked, sitting forward in his chair.

"They all think it was accidental magic because of her vertigo." Remus shrugged. "Severus seems to think her vertigo is a subconscious throwback to the spells she was under in Azkaban…"

"What does Estella think?" Sirius asked.

"She didn't mind flying the hippogriff." Remus said, frowning. "When I asked her about her vertigo she told me that she trusted that Buckbeak wouldn't let her fall off, and that she wouldn't get on a broom because she didn't trust it to keep her airborne. I can't help but feel as though I did the spell wrong… I put that fear into her."

"So." Sirius said, standing up and holding out the wrapped broom to his friend. "Be the one who takes it away. You give her the broom."

"I don't know if I can do that, Sirius." Remus said, his face ashen.

"Why the bloody hell not?" Sirius cursed.

"What if she falls?" Remus said fearfully.

"Oh Moony you great big git!" Sirius shook his head at his friend before a noise upstairs caught their attention. "Do you hear that?"

Nodding silently, the two men drew their wands and stealthily made their way upstairs towards the source of the noise. As they reached the landing, it became apparent that the noises were coming from behind Estella's bedroom door… Estella's uncharacteristically closed bedroom door.

The two men exchanging a worried look, they moved towards the door quietly, only to find it locked.

"Estella!" The two men called out, knocking on the door none-too-gently.

Inside, the men could hear Estella's muffled cries, together with something else. Someone else.

"Kreacher!" Sirius hissed to Remus as he stood back to blast the door open.

Kreacher had emerged from his room later that first night, looking to do his Mistress' bidding and had been rather affronted to find his beloved house's heir in such a state. Believing it was the work of some evil plot of Sirius' derision, the house elf watched Estella like a hawk, protecting her. Seeing this, Sirius and Remus had been remiss in assessing what kind of risk the deranged elf would be to the child; and were subsequently beside themselves to find themselves in their present situation.

The pair making short work of the old oak door, Sirius and Remus barrelled into Estella's bedroom, wands at the ready. There, they found Estella struggling against Kreacher, who was trying to administer the full antidote of the aging potion.

"Mistress must drink potion!" Kreacher was screeching at the frightened child. "Mistress is not herself! Mistress must get back to her own age. Mistress will be brainwashed if she stays this way!"

"Kreacher!" Sirius yelled at the elf. "Unhand my daughter this instant!"

"Kreacher is doing what Master ordered, sir. Kreacher is giving Mistress her medicine."

"Don't play coy with me you slimy sack of bones!" Sirius scowled as he grabbed the scrawny house elf by the scruff of the neck. "Now put that potion down before your body finds itself as Buckbeak's next meal and your head finds its way onto the wall!"

At that, the indignant house elf moved the potion bottle closer to Estella's mouth in rebellion.

"No Kreacher!" An approximately five year old Estella wagged her finger at the obstinate house elf sternly, empowered by the presence of her father and godfather. "Bad Kreacher! Very bad! I drink all that at once and I will get really really sick!"

"Kreacher is sorry, Mistress." Kreacher grovelled from the foot of the bed where Sirius had thrown him across the room in his rage, his Quidditch honed reflexes catching the beaker in his other hand as the elf dropped it in transit. "Kreacher is wanting to protect Mistress from her crazy convict father. He is a murderer! He is trying to kill Kreacher."

"He is not! Is NOT!" Estella had glared furiously.

"What Kreacher is fearing is what is happening, Mistress!" Kreacher cried. "Mistress Estella is being brainwashed by the filthy spawn of my Mistress' flesh and his dirty half-breed friend! Destroyed my Mistress' portrait! The shame!"

Sirius didn't know how or why, but something inside himself snapped, despite the immediate threat to his daughter being acquiesced. Before he had a handle on what he was doing, he had the scrawny, malevolent house elf by the neck and was bashing its head into the hardwood floor.

"Why you little…" He growled. "I'll give you shame! You're a shame to house elves!"

"Daddy!" Estella's horrified voice cut through him like a knife through butter. "Stop it! Stop it!"

"Sirius!" The enraged father could feel his friend's hands on him, prying him off the suffocating elf. "We need him, Sirius… you don't want to do this in front of Estella…"

Estella.

Relinquishing his grip on the elf as though burnt, Sirius scrabbled back across the floor, placing as much distance as possible between himself and the object of his fury, who was quickly making an exit. Leaning against the solid brick wall, he then drew his knees to his chest and hugged himself tightly.

What had he done?

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He murmured to no one in particular. Throughout his time in Azkaban he had been haunted with images of peril befalling his daughter, and seeing Kreacher holding her down like that sparked a unprecedented fear in him. When the house elf had professed his contrived apologies, Sirius had lost it. How could he have been so inept as a parent to allow his daughter to get into such a situation in the first place? The potion Kreacher was trying to force her to drink may only have made her return to her regular age, but it could very easily have been poison. What if he hadn't thought to check on her then? He wasn't so much angry at the house elf as he was furious with himself for letting his guard down. He'd almost failed his daughter. He'd almost failed Selina.

At the prospect of losing his precious daughter, Sirius began to shudder violently – to his increasingly concerned audience it was almost as though they were witnessing a man suffer under the effects of a Dementor.

"Sirius! Sirius, come on buddy, snap out of it." Remus shook his friend lightly, wary when he noted the fugitive's eyes were glazed and unfocused.

"Daddy?" Estella chewed on her bottom lip worriedly. Her hair was mussed from sleep, and her pyjamas were still twisted as she tugged at her father's sleeve insistently. "It's OK Daddy, I know you didn't mean to hurt Kreacher."

At the sound of his daughter's voice, Sirius emerged from his daze to stare at the child as though she were a stranger. His sane mind, still recovering form its regression, was only just beginning to piece together the events of the past week in his mind and consciously remember about the potion Estella had taken on her birthday.

"Estella?" Sirius voice was shaky. "You're so little."

"I'm not little!" Estella protested, shaking even more of her hair out of her plait as she shook her head violently. "I'm a big girl. I'm nearly six!"

Remembering about the potion and his summer so far, Sirius smiled, feeling much more himself. "Sorry, Missy." He said softly, pulling her close. "Daddy just had a scare."

Sirius was confused then, when the child suddenly wormed her way out of his arms and ran back to her bed. Crestfallen, he bowed his head in defeat. Had he just ruined everything? It appeared, however, that Sirius had again underestimated his daughter for almost as soon as she was gone, she was back… this time brandishing a familiar stuffed dog.

"Here Daddy." Estella said, nudging him with the toy, which was still warm from her bed. "You can have Padfoot tonight, he'll look after you."

Werewolf and animagus exchanged a look and smiled warmly. Everything was going to be alright.

"Sometimes when I have a bad dream Uncle Sev sits by my bed until I fall back asleep." The child explained further. "Do you need me to stay with you, Daddy?"

'_Always, sweetheart'_. Sirius' heart swelled.

"No, sweetheart, that won't be necessary." Sirius said, picking up his daughter and carrying her back over to the bed. "Big girls need their beauty sleep and I wouldn't want to keep you up."

"Right cos' if I don't get all my beauty sleep I'll wake up in the morning all ugly and grouchy like Kreacher." Estella sniggered.

"So how about I stay with you until you fall back asleep?" Sirius asked gently, sitting on the side of his daughter's bed and smoothing out the bedclothes that had become tangled during her previous slumber.

"'Kay Dad." Estella murmured sleepily, her eyes growing heavy as she succumbed to the comfort of her bed.

Moments later, she was asleep.

The first thing Sirius did after tucking his sleeping daughter in, was go downstairs and throw the juvenile broomstick into the fire.

"Sirius, what are you doing?" Remus followed after his friend, confused.

"She's not flying it." He said testily.

Now Remus was even more confused; but before he could question the man why, the man in question answered for him.

"I thought I could protect her, Moony… keep her safe." Sirius said brokenly. "I thought she would be alright on a broom because I was there. But I couldn't even keep her safe from that blasted house elf! However then, will I be able to save her if she falls?"

Unable to help himself, Remus laughed. "Oh Sirius." He said, clapping the man on the back as he leant on the man for support – save falling on the ground in his mirth. "Welcome to parenthood."

* * *

Much to Sirius' delight, Estella had adjusted to the notion of having a father pretty well, though she did have a little trouble reconciling the 'Daddy' she had come to know with the man who she had been raised to believe her father was. Here, Remus came to the rescue several times, explaining to the confused child in a manner that only she could understand, why she possessed such a conflict of information… namely the question of why Sirius wasn't in prison for doing the 'bad thing'. 

The hardest times to deal with, however, remained the numerous times Estella would pine for her Uncle. It absolutely tore Sirius' heart out… not just because his daughter was silently yearning for a man he despised, but for the simple fact that his child was depressed and he was helpless to do anything about it. On several occasions he had come close to contacting his brother-in-law and demanding his immediate presence – so desperate was he to make his daughter smile he was willing to endure the man's company – but each time he had been driven to consider such measures either he or Remus had come up with a alternate solution.

One of these was Polyjuice.

Sirius had no idea how on earth Estella had managed to get a hold of a piece of her Uncle – though he highly suspected she requested it from him under false pretences. Then again, he wouldn't put it past his fastidious daughter to have a catalogue of, say strands of hair, from the entire Hogwarts alumni and a ready to go Polyjuice as an extension of her meticulously kept potions kit.

Remus had pulled out the small beaker of the gloopy looking liquid after a particularly harrowing incident, stating that Estella had provided the solution as a last resort and that it had to be used sparingly. There was enough in the container for a dose every two days for the rest of their break, and it turned out to be a godsend.

Although Sirius had wanted to have fun with it and really go to town muddying Severus' reputation in his daughter's eye, Remus was a voice of reason. "She'll be messed up if she remembers her Uncle behaving two different ways." Remus had warned him; and thus it was his trusted friend and co-child wrangler that took on the assumed role.

"Merlin, Remus!" Sirius shook his head in amazement at his friend one night after Estella had gone to sleep. "Sev wasn't really like that with her, was he?"

"I may be embellishing a little." Remus admitted sheepishly "I didn't spend much time with the two of them together; but I am only representing what he would be like if he wasn't busy building those walls around that foolish heart of his."

"I thought you said it would have been too confusing for her, to act differently?" Sirius questioned.

"It would be." Remus confirmed. "I am not acting differently, I am just choosing not to act a certain way."

"You've been ingesting too many of Snape's bodily bits." Sirius scoffed. "It's effecting your mind."

"Prat." Remus retorted.

"Werewolf!" Sirius bit back.

"Convict!" Remus drawled.

"Professor!" Sirius smirked.

"DADDY!" A child's voice screamed from overhead.

Sirius and Remus were up the stairs in a flash. Remus stood at the doorway while Sirius rushed to console his daughter as she flung herself around her twisted bed sheets, drenched in sweat.

"Hush, Missy sweetheart, it was just a bad dream." Sirius cooed soothingly in his daughter's ear, pulling the trembling six year old onto his lap and stroking the sweaty strands of hair out of her face. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

"It wasn't a bad dream, Daddy." Estella sobbed sleepily, burying her face in her father's robes. "It was real."

"What was real, honey?" Sirius asked, rubbing circles on Estella's back as she relaxed in his arms.

Across from them, Remus' face paled. When he'd agreed to go along with Estella's plan, he'd all but forgotten about this.

"Sirius, we need to talk." Remus said softly as the murmuring child fought to stay awake. Sirius looked at him reluctantly. "I need to tell you about Estella's 'dream'."

"In the morning, Moony." Sirius waved him off, not noticing it when his friend flinched at the use of his alter-ego's moniker. "Padfoot's going to watch over his pup tonight." With that, the fraught father transformed into his animagus form and curled up on his daughter's legs, a hand from the sleeping girl instinctively flying down to rest in his fur.

Sighing at the sight of them together, Remus nodded and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

* * *

Inhumanly early the next morning, Remus was awoken to peals of laughter and a dog barking. Out in the hall, a pyjama clad Estella was running – a blur of hair and limbs – away from the playful Padfoot, who was chasing her with a massive yellow earth ball. 

It was their favourite game of 'dodge ball'.

When Estella had been in her three year old form, Remus had spelled a stress ball to inflate into a massive ball, some four feet in diameter, in an effort to get her mind off Severus. The lightweight sponge was bouncy and caused the amused child no end of entertainment. He was, of course, referring to Sirius as being the child. The man had been in absolute hysterics when he'd rolled the over-sized ball to his daughter and, dwarfed by the massive thing, the ball had simply bounced off her harmlessly, causing her to stagger back with the momentum, confused and stunned. The second time, she'd anticipated the soft oomph of the ball and thrown her body into it determinedly, sending the ball back to her father with a little more force as she laughed maniacally and urged him on for more.

It had snowballed from there.

Padfoot liked 'dodge ball' too, and so the game at evolved into a growing game of cat and mouse. The house became their playground… the play gym being long discarded and forgotten.

"I'm living with delinquents!" Remus threw his hands up in the air and returned to the sanctuary of his room to try and salvage a few more hours sleep. "Haven't you ever heard of sleep?"

Estella stopped in her tracks and stared blankly at her Godfather's closed door before shrugging and turning to Padfoot.

"Let's go make Uncle Remus breakfast in bed." She urged.

Sirius padded after his daughter in his animagus form, ever grateful that Kreacher had taken to remaining in his rooms until summoned.

What was that Remus had wanted to speak to him about? His mind recalled the parting words of his friend the night before.

* * *

Later that night, Sirius was dismayed to hear about his daughter's close call with Moony. Realising that he had caused Severus the same grief in his fifth year, it certainly put a lot of things into a new perspective. On some level he even began to appreciate the way the man operated. Hearing how it had happened to his own child, he acknowledged it was a unimaginably horrible thing to consciously inflict upon another person. 

"Do you forgive me?" Remus asked brokenly, looking at his friend pleadingly.

"I'm sorry?" Sirius asked. "What do you have to apologise for?"

"Sirius, did you not hear anything I just said? I almost attacked Estella!"

"I heard you, Remus." Sirius said firmly. "But it wasn't you was it? It was Moony! In any event, nothing came of it."

"I gave her nightmares." Remus said, then, correcting himself when Sirius glared at him. "Moony gave her nightmares."

"It's unfortunate, I won't deny that." Sirius said carefully. "But I've seen how you are with her, Remus. I've seen how she adores you. I trust you would never willingly harm her. It's in the past."

"Good grief Sirius, I never thought you would be so accepting of this!" Remus blurted.

"You're my friend, Remus." Sirius said simply, with a pensive look on his face. "And you've clearly been punishing yourself enough over this as it is."

"What do you mean?" Remus asked.

"You let Estella keep the memory, like you wanted her to have something against you." Sirius observed. "Which only tells me that you actually told Severus of the encounter and subjected yourself to his wrath."

"I deserved no less." Remus bowed his head.

"You don't deserve the curse, Remus." Sirius shook his head sadly. "Don't expect me to believe that you deserve to be held accountable for what the wolf does. He's not you, Remus."

"He is." Remus said.

"No, he's not." Sirius said firmly. "Listen, the rest of the Wizarding world may not be able to tell the difference, but they've never taken the time to get to know a man with Lycanthropy! You have to stop beating yourself up over things you have no control over. It's not your fault!"

Remus nodded. For the first time in his life since the attempted attack, he was truly at ease with himself. If the father of the child he almost maimed could forgive him so readily, then forgiving himself was the next logical step.

"Moony." Sirius said suddenly, his eyes staring past the man before him to settle on the growing collection of photographs they had been amassing over the past few weeks. "What was Estella's first word?"

Remus looked at his friend curiously, he had been expecting this question a lot sooner.

"Snake." He said quietly, a troubled expression on his face.

"Snake?" Sirius questioned, shivering at the Slytherin implications. "Whatever made her say that?"

"Summon your pensieve." Remus said, drawing out his wand. "I'll show you."

_Flashback_

_It was Estella's first birthday. Remus was returning the child to her uncle in his dungeon quarters after having spent a few hours with her to mark the occasion._

_"Severus!" Remus greeted the man at the door excitedly as he set Estella on her feet in front of him. "Stand back and watch this!"_

_Letting go of the balancing child's arms, both men watched in awe as the small child balanced on her own two feet unassisted._

_"Call her to you." Remus urged, keeping his hands close to the child in case she should lose her balance._

_Looking put out, Severus squatted down and looked at the child levelly. "Estella?"_

_In response, the child in question babbled happily and smiled. Clapping her hands in excitement, her balance faltered and she almost pitched forward before righting herself by putting her foot forward triumphantly. Behind her, Remus followed, urging her on proudly._

_"That's it, cub, one foot after the other."_

_As Severus held out his hands to catch the toddling child as she threw herself towards him, his left sleeve hitched up, revealing the faint outline of his Dark Mark – all but scar on his pale skin._

_"Sssssnake!" Estella's baby babble formed a word for the first time as the imprint of the most feared symbol in the Wizarding world caught her eye. Stabbing her chubby little baby finger at his forearm victoriously, her little mouth wrapped itself around spoken language once more. "Snake!"_

_Shocked, Severus pulled his arm away, obscuring the offensive mark from view as he exchanged a weary look with the child's Godfather, who was beside himself._

_"I thought the mark had disappeared completely, Severus?" Remus asked quietly as the man before him rose hastily, the child in his arms apparently unaffected by the most recognisable symbol of evil. The fact that his goddaughter had just uttered her first word was pushed to the back of his mind for the time being. "What do you think this could mean?"_

_"I noticed the faintest outline of it return this afternoon after you picked Estella up." Severus sighed. "I can only assume it has something to do with today being the first anniversary."_

_"Of course." Remus nodded his head, relieved._

_"If it remains, I shall inform the headmaster."_

_End flashback_

"Did it remain?" Sirius asked, feeling somewhat uncomfortable about his daughter being subjected to such a symbol; not to mention disturbed at the notion of Estella's first steps being in a dungeon, towards a man that wasn't him.

"The mark never left his skin." Remus confirmed. "You couldn't see it unless you were up close. I never got close enough to see it myself until just before Estella's ninth birthday when it got a little darker. Course, you already know what happened that year."

"Quirrel." Sirius grimaced, his head still reeling from that particular story. "Merlin I am glad Estella wasn't a student that year."

"Really?" Remus frowned. "I would have thought of her sitting next to the man at the head table every meal time was worse."

Sirius blanched. His daughter had dined with the Dark Lord every day right under Dumbledore's nose.

The world had gone mad.

"What was her second word…."

* * *

"I can't believe you're doing this." Remus shook his head for the tenth time that day. 

It was a week before school was due to go back, a week or so after the 'shrieking shack nightmare', and Sirius had decided that he wanted to invite Severus over.

"It's time we talked." Sirius said simply. "Before I lose my nerve."

"Can't this wait until school goes back, surely you don't want Estella to witness a possible confrontation?" Remus was worried.

"If I don't do it now, Moony, I never will." Sirius said resolutely. "It's too late to change my mind anyway, I sent Snape the Portkey this morning."

"What?" Remus was shocked. Sirius was really going to go through with this! Of all the foolish, impulsive, Gryffindor things to do!

"Do me a favour and keep Estella occupied and out of sight." Sirius said. "Go upstairs now, Snape will be here any moment."

Remus could only nod, for the man in question had just appeared. Acknowledging him with a passing gesture, he hurried up stairs to his goddaughter, hoping to Merlin that Sirius wasn't underestimating Severus' ability to push his buttons.

Downstairs, the childhood enemies stared at each other challengingly, in a sort of tense, silent stand off.

"Hello, Black." Severus drawled sarcastically.

"Snape." Sirius quipped, walking into the drawing room without bothering to check if his guest had followed.

He had.

"I'll cut straight to the chase." Sirius said shortly, turning to face his brother in law while he leant against the far wall, Severus himself preferring to stand rigidly in the centre of the room. "I heard about what happened at the Shrieking Shack."

"And you wish to reprimand my supervisory abilities?" Severus interjected. "How… _quaint_."

"I wish to apologise." Sirius said exasperatedly, shaking his head as he pushed off from the wall agitatedly. "For what happened in our fifth year."

"How typical." Severus leered, taking a step towards Sirius. "I for one do not wish to profit from my niece's bad experiences."

"Are you suggesting that I would do such a thing?" Sirius growled defensively, circling around Severus slowly.

"Well what do you call this?" Severus sneered, his hand deceptively close to his wand as he stood proudly with his hands folded across his chest.

"An attempt at maturity." Sirius sneered back, getting right in Severus' face now. "Listen, Snape, I didn't bring you here to argue."

"And I didn't come here to make you feel better about yourself." Severus cut back. "Where's Estella?"

"That's not your concern." Sirius said offhandedly, turning away slightly.

"I raised her. She's my niece. It is my concern!" Severus growled.

"Oh yes, dear brother in law. Pray tell how that came to pass." Sirius was having a hard time holding onto his temper as he turned back to look his brother in law in the eye. "I know what I did in my fifth year was stupid, but I was fifteen, fifteen! What was your excuse?"

"I don't have to explain myself to you." Severus snarled defensively, less willing than his opponent to break out with the apologies. "Estella is aware of my reasons, that's enough."

His logic snapping, Sirius pounced, shoving Severus against the wall roughly and pointing his wand at the taller man's neck.

"How could you?" He spat hoarsely.

"How could you leave your pregnant wife to go foolishly try and take the law into your own hands?" Severus asked coolly. "Unhand me this instant"

"I wasn't thinking." Sirius spat, letting go of his brother in law with a forceful shove.

"Nor was I." Severus said simply, smirking. "Satisfied with my answer? No, I thought not. Quid pro quo, Black."

"What would you have done." Sirius hissed. "If you found Selina dead and knew the man responsible? Stay and wait for the Aurors? Go home and twiddle your thumbs? I think not, Snivellus."

"For all I knew you had killed those Muggles." Severus responded. "Without evidence. Without Pettigrew, anything I could have said wouldn't have helped. Either way you were facing a life sentence. Would you have rather had your daughter pine for you daily, incapable of moving on in her life because she couldn't have you?"

"You just wanted revenge!" Sirius shouted, poking Severus hard in the chest with his index finger; his rational mind unwilling to accept how logical Severus' explanation was turning out to be.

"I won't deny that." Severus smirked, brushing Sirius' hand away from him in a forceful swipe. "Azkaban has a rather profound effect on its inmates."

"You know what it's like there, yet still you didn't even try!" Sirius was outraged.

"Would you have done the same for me?" Severus asked suddenly. Sirius hesitated. "I thought not. Now, I would like to see my niece."

"You can't." Sirius shook his head furiously, side stepping to block the man's path. He couldn't see her in her de-aged form.

"I have not seen her for several weeks." Severus pinched the bridge of his nose irritably. "Save for a letter asking me to dispose of packages unsighted, I've heard no word since I relinquished her to the custody of a deranged convict and a werewolf; nor have I been able to come here unbidden without a invitational Portkey. Since I am here, I insist on seeing her. I took away her memories of this house with good reason."

"Yes Severus, how is it that my beloved mother's portrait was familiar with my child?" Sirius seethed openly. "You accepted an invitation here?"

"Your mother did not die until a little before Estella's fourth birthday." Severus glared at the spot in the wall where the family tapestry used to hang, absently wondering how they had managed to get it down. "When the woman was lucid enough she'd send invitation. I couldn't refuse her."

"Why not?" Sirius spat. "I can't believe you would subject an infant…"

"It was the lesser of two evils, Black!" Severus hissed. "If I did not cooperate the blasted woman would have rightfully petitioned for custody! You of all people should know how inept the Ministry can be in making the correct decisions!"

"If there were others in line to take care of her, why did you bother?" Sirius glared at his brother-in-law suspiciously. "You wanted to turn her against me?" Severus didn't say anything. Sirius smirked. "Well, it didn't work by any means."

"I won't merit that question with an answer." Severus said lowly. "As for your previous question, no matter who their father was, she is still a Snape."

"Oh shut up Severus. One might start to think you cared." Sirius quipped.

"Of course I care you imbecilic moron!" Severus snapped. "Contrary to popular belief I am not a monster. Now, I refuse to answer to you. I want to see my niece, now!"

"Don't tell me you missed having her around? I would have thought she reminded you of me constantly." Sirius smirked, baiting him.

"I'm not going to beg you, Black, if that's what you want." Severus said lowly. "I will see my niece before I leave, one way or another."

"You sound almost worried about her… how quaint." Sirius smirked again, mimicking the irate housemaster's earlier comment before becoming deadly serious. "She's perfectly safe, I assure you."

"Uncle Sev?" A child's voice cried out happily from the doorway, running into the room with a dishevelled Lupin on her heels.

"I'm sorry Sirius, she heard voices and I couldn't keep her away." Remus panted.

"You instructed your little half-breed friend to keep my niece away from me?" Severus' voice turned to ice. Estella stopped short a few feet from her Uncle, sensing his anger. His eyes assessing her more thoroughly, the revered potions master frowned. "What happened to you?"

"What do you mean, Uncle Sev?" The clearly younger child of around 10 shrugged. "Where have you been?"

"You're younger!" Severus spluttered, his eyes narrowing as he glared at Lupin and Black in turn.

"Severus, calm down, we can explain." Remus said quietly, going on to briefly explain about the potion. He'd have preferred to enter into this assuredly volatile conversation without the child present, but he knew Estella would never stand for it – not when she was at that young age, and especially not when she had not seen her Uncle for months (as far as her metabolic clock was concerned, given each week was over two years to her mind).

"She did WHAT?" Severus roared. "You LET her do this? How could you be so irresponsible!" His face paled. "Do you have any concept of what would have happened to her if she had gotten the tiniest thing wrong? She could have died! I always knew your assurances weren't worth the air they were carried on, Black, but not even I thought you could be so reckless as to endanger your child's life for your own selfish gratification!"

"I had faith in her abilities." Remus said firmly, placing his hands on the said child's shoulders to comfort her emerging distress. "It was a surprise for Sirius. He didn't know. Stop being such a pessimist for five seconds and allow yourself to be proud."

"Proud?" Severus echoed Lupin's words experimentally. Sure, he was extremely impressed – and perhaps a little proud – that Estella had so evidently pulled off the potion; but that still doesn't atone for the fear that gripped his heart at the risk it had come at. "The risk far outweighed the gain. Black, I'll grant you didn't know. Lupin, I can excuse your inferior understanding of the subtle art of potion making; but you, young lady! What was your excuse! You know never to attempt a new potion without supervision!"

Lips quivering in confusion, Estella burst into tears and ran upstairs to her room, slamming the door shut behind her.

"Why did you have to do that, Snape?" Sirius spat. "You should know the effects of the potion. She doesn't even remember brewing it yet!"

"Don't question me." Severus snapped. "Where did she go?"

"To her room." Remus gestured. "It's this way."

"You are not going up there." Sirius protested.

"Stop me, Black. I dare you to try." Snape sneered.

"I won't have you hurt my daughter." Sirius grabbed the man's arm forcibly. "She meant well."

"Let go of me, Black." Severus glared at his brother in law. "Lupin, how long has she been under the effects of the potion?"

"Since Father's Day." Remus counted.

"That's three weeks!" Severus growled, his Slytherin mind working quickly to take advantage of his opponent's inferior knowledge of potions. "That's the longest anyone can remain in a de-aged state! I assume she's been administering the antidote gradually?" The men nodded. "Then we must give her the rest immediately."

After talking their way into Estella's room, Remus explained gently that she had to drink a special blue medicine from a vial. Less than an hour later, she was back to herself.

"What the hell did you do that for?" She bellowed. "We still had a week left!"

"No we didn't." Sirius shook his head in confusion. "Your Uncle said the longest time was three weeks."

"Liar." Estella scowled, rounding on her Uncle. "What are you doing here? You ruined everything!"

"Your father reminded me of the ineffectuality of reprimanding your younger self for such irresponsible behaviour in a potion's lab." Severus smirked, his eyes glinting malevolently when his adversaries realised they had been duped into delivering the antidote unnecessarily early. "Now I can hold you accountable."

"You can't tell me what to do!" Estella cried indignantly. "Can he, Dad?"

Severus flinched. "I have authoritative precedence when it comes to your conduct in a potions lab!" He interjected before Sirius could answer. "You took advantage of your guardian's lack of knowledge and abused the resource I gave you. You knew when I gave you the book what the terms were. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"I don't know." Estella paused. "I believed I was good enough to brew the potion and circumstances prevented me from…"

"That's no excuse." Severus snapped.

"Now listen here, Snape!" Sirius leapt to his daughter's defence. "I think she sounds more than reasonable!"

"Stay out of this, Black." Severus commanded, drawing his wand. "You're out of your league."

"She's my daughter!" Sirius roared, drawing his own wand; the men now poised in a volatile stand off. "Alright, so it was a risky potion – Estella, I'm concerned you took such a calculated risk, I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you – but Snape, get over it. It's happened. She is alright. You said yourself it's a bloody hard potion. I am proud of my daughter and don't want to spend precious time punishing her for what is really a achievement."

"You fool, Black." Severus grated his teeth. "You rash, foolish, irresponsible sad excuse of a father. You raise a child with that attitude and they would be lucky to see their first birthday."

"Stop it." Estella said quietly.

"Severus is right." Remus said suddenly, his skin pulled taut over his face. "We can't just shrug off a indiscretion and move on."

"Remus! I can't believe you're siding with him!" Sirius gaped at his friend. "You and I both know that Estella's potion skills far outstrip ours! We… you… trusted her and she made a judgement call on her own merit. She didn't do anything wrong!"

"She disobeyed her Uncle." Remus said quietly. "He had imposed restrictions on the book she used…"

"She doesn't have to live by his rules in my house!" Sirius scoffed indignantly. "Besides, it's utterly pathetic to give a child a book then dictate to them how they use it! What kind of person gives a child something that could be a danger to them?"

"Stop it!" Estella said a little more firmly. No one noticed.

In the moments that followed, no one was sure what happened. Far beyond the temptation to hex each other beyond their next birthday, the two warring brothers-in-law disregarded words and reason, suddenly embroiling themselves in a physical free for all; with Remus in the middle struggling to pull them apart.

STOP IT! Estella's mind screamed. "STOP IT!" She wailed aloud, a burst of raw magical energy exploding inside her, blasting the three men apart and sending them flying in opposite directions around the room.

Hit head on by the flying body of her father, Estella staggered back in momentum and barrelled into the desk, her hands flailing behind her and, one hand grasping the Spanner Portkey blindly as she scrabbled for purchase, the other hand landing heavily on the time turner with a sickening crunch. With the unleashed magic of the smashed time turner blending with the raw natural strength of the magical outburst she had just displayed, the Portkey activated just as Estella was vaporised out of her time in a blinding flash of light.

Severus, who had just looked up from his place sprawled on the floor in time to see his niece disappear, glared automatically at the two dazed men left in the room. "What did you do? Where did the Portkey take her?"

"It wasn't a Portkey." Sirius said harshly as he pointed a shaky hand towards the desk, where a telltale chain was dangling, broken.

Stunned, Remus walked towards the desk, picking up the time turner's chain, he cleared his throat.

"She must have landed on the time turner." He said weakly. "It broke." He closed his hands around the innocent looking chain as the facts began to sink in for the three men in the room.

Estella was lost in time.

"It's all your fault!" Father and Uncle yelled at each other, drawing wands.

Remus stood between the two men, breaking them up. "Please, arguing now isn't going to solve anything!" He said. Look what it had done already! "We have to go to Dumbledore!"

We have to get her back…

**

* * *

"Ah, gentleman." Albus Dumbledore greeted the men as they arrived in his offices unannounced. The fact that one of them was a wanted criminal did not appear to phase him in the least. "So it has happened." **

The three younger men exchanged a look.

"Wait, you mean you knew what was going to happen, but you didn't do anything?" Sirius cried, feeling betrayed.

Dumbledore had the decency to lower his head shamefully. "Far be it my place to meddle with fate." He explained.

"How is it possible?" Sirius asked. "What's going on."

"What do you mean?" Severus added, a sick feeling forming in the pit of his stomach.

"Where's Estella?" Remus threw in for good measure.

"Gentleman, gentleman…" Albus gestured his hands for the three men to sit and be quiet.

"How far back?" Sirius and Remus both questioned impatiently.

"Summer 1975 if my memory serves me correctly." Albus replied, popping a lemon drop into his mouth. "I assure you she's quite safe."

"How come we don't remember her?" Severus asked.

"Because her presence didn't belong in the past you imbecile!" Sirius rounded on his brother-in-law, seething with disdain. "Don't you pay attention to anything? She concealed her identity, didn't she?"

Severus sneered at his arch nemesis. "Headmaster, this man is a wanted criminal!" He pointed out indignantly, stabbing his finger at the man in question. "We need to inform the Ministry."

"Ah, yes, about that Severus." Albus said gravely. "I must say I am disappointed in you for leading me to believe young Mr Black was the Potter's Secret Keeper when you knew it to be someone else."

Sirius looked at Severus triumphantly, who had the good graces to look sheepish.

"There was still the possibility he killed those Muggles…"

"Possible, but unlikely when viewed in light of the facts!" Remus interjected.

"Quite right, Mr Lupin, quite right." Albus levelled his gaze at Severus, the twinkle in his eyes all but extinguished. "I think you will agree now, Severus, that there is no need to alert the Ministry of Mr Black's location at this time." Hardening his gaze upon seeing the reticent Slytherin's face he added. "In fact, I insist upon it!"

For all intensive purposes, the Slytherin Housemaster looked as though he had just swallowed a lemon drop. "Did she come to the school? Did we know her?" He asked gruffly, changing the subject.

"I don't know, gentleman." Albus asked quietly. "Does the name Aries Ollerton ring a bell?"

End Chapter: Renewed Understanding


	77. Doppleganger

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated: Tuesday 17th May 2005

**Chapter Seventy Seven: Doppleganger **

Eyes flying open, momentarily blinded by an unknown light source, Estella gasped for air. Gaining her consciousness fully, she looked around the room suspiciously. The last thing she could remember was everyone fighting in her room before being knocked backwards by a heavy weight colliding with her.

Shifting her eyes around the displaced bedroom warily, Estella picked herself up from the floor where she had landed and dusted herself off. She must have fallen backwards and grabbed the Portkey to her Mother's bedroom, for that's where she was.

Not paying any attention to the bedroom as she steadily made her way to the door, Estella failed to realise that the room wasn't quite exactly how she'd last seen it. The bed was made, the desk tidy, and a few miscellaneous objects were missing from their places around the room. So set on her goal was she, that Estella also failed to register the sounds of someone in the bathroom before she walked out of the room, and into the hallway, without so much as another thought. Walking down the hallway, however, stark oddities sent the hairs on the back of her neck to stand on end.

_When had her Uncle brought all this stuff back out?_ She wondered as she became increasingly frightened and disorientated by the unfamiliar portraits on the walls. _Was this a dream?_

"Selina! Watch where you're going!" A not-quite-matured silky voice cut into her thoughts as she collided with a dark blur of robes and hair.

Automatically bending down to help the man – no, boy – pick the scuttled potions vials off the floor where he had dropped them coming around the corner and into her. She was halfway through an apology when the boy swept back the lank tresses of hair that were curtaining his face and she saw him for the first time.

It was Severus Snape… a extremely _young _Severus Snape.

"You blow up a de-aging potion or something?" She asked curiously, taking in his early adolescent features. His face was a little less angular, and he wasn't as tall._ 'How on earth did he get back here so soon? He was in London a moment ago…'_

Her Uncle smirked before he brushed past her, his arms full of potions equipment once more. "Nice try, sis; but in case you haven't noticed I'm not the only late bloomer in this family." He threw over his shoulder before admitting himself into his rooms.

Estella could only stare after him, slack jawed. _What on earth was going on?_

Deciding that the best port of call would be to re-trace her steps and see where it took her, Estella rushed back to her mother's bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Her mind running through the events she had just encountered, Estella's eyes widened in shock.

Was she in the past?

Running across the room to the roll top desk, ignoring the different spread of parchment and stationery that adorned it, Estella fumbled for the place she knew the hidden compartment to be. If the time turner was there, then she was in the past… if not, she had evidently been spending too much time around potion fumes.

It was there.

Closing her hand around the revealing device in disbelief, she'd barely pocketed the time turner before a voice stirred her from her reverie.

"Sev! How many times have I told you to knock first!" A voice shrieked at her. Cringing, Estella turned to face the owner of the voice, her face sending the resident teenager reeling back in surprise as their eyes connected. "Who the hell are you?"

Estella's jaw dropped. Standing before her was a teenage version of her mother. "S-s-s-selina?" She choked, knowing off the cuff that calling a girl who looked no older than 15 'Mum' would be hardly suitable. Even if this was some sort of twisted dream.

"No. I'm Selina!" The older girl whipped back menacingly (in a tone not at all unlike Sev's when Estella really thought about it) picking her wand up from her dressing table. "Though whoever tried to make you look like me didn't quite get the polyjuice right. What did you do, Sirius, add one of your own hairs as well by mistake?"

"No." Estella shook her head, confused. What was all this about polyjuice?

"Is it you then, Peter?" Selina asked, coming closer so as to stalk around Estella appraisingly. "Couldn't see what a girl looked like any other way, mmm Wormy?"

"I'm a real girl!" Estella said as firmly as she could, trying to ignore the Pinocchio parallel.

"Oh sure, just keep telling yourself that, Peter. Maybe you'll stay that way." Selina rolled her eyes. "Would do you a favour by any means."

Estella held her hands up in defeat, her mind spinning as she thought of ways she could get out of the mess she was in.

"Terrible things happen to people who meddle with time" Hermione's voice echoed in her head as she recalled the day the older Gryffindor let her in on how she had been getting to her classes that year. As much as she wanted to get to know her mother and tell her who she was, she was afraid of the consequences. What if it meant she would never be born? Seemingly trapped in the said girl's bedroom, however, Estella didn't know what else she could do. Would breaking the time turner again, here in this time, return her to her own time? One would think that it would seeing as the time turner would no longer exist in her own time in order for her to break it and come back here in the first place. But then if she were to break it now and prevent herself from ever breaking it in the future, that would mean it would never be broken in this time and it would still be there to be broken in her time… it was all so confusing. The only thing that remained apparent was that she was supposed to come back through time… but why?

Slowly moving her hand behind her to grasp the spanner she had discarded there earlier, Estella crossed her fingers and hoped the Portkey was still active. She couldn't deal with her mother right now – she needed Dumbledore's advice first. Disappearing from her mother's room via the Portkey seemed to be the only way she could get away without giving too much away… so she did it.

She could only hope that no one was home in the house her mother and father had yet to buy.

* * *

Reappearing in the vastly different room that was to one day become her bedroom, Estella appreciated for the first time just how much her parents had invested in wizard-space charms to make their humble abode habitable. The room was positively tiny. 

Looking around at the peeling lavender wallpaper and rickety old furniture as it squeezed into the limited wall space of the room, Estella gathered that when her parents had bought the property it must have been a real fixer-upper… which meant that the house, as she remembered it, reflected more of her parents tastes and decorative exploits than she had previously thought.

Hearing movement in the lower level of the house, Estella cursed and made her way to the window. She knew from experience that if she could get onto the roof she should be able to get onto the adjoining building's third floor balcony and down its access ladder. Provided no one was home next door, she would then be able to make a clean getaway into the back alley.

There was only one problem. Since her parents had not yet bought the house, Sirius hadn't fallen off the roof… and because Sirius hadn't fallen off the roof yet, her mother had not put anti-falling charms around the building. If Estella was going to climb out of the window and scale the side of the house onto the roof, there was a possibility that she could fall.

"Get a grip, Black." Estella tried to bolster her resolve. "You've done this a thousand times."

_'But what if the wizard-space charms changed the exterior dimensions of the house_?' A nagging little voice in the back of her head warned her cautiously.

Stuck for answers, Estella weighed out her options. She could either try and get out via the roof and face her fear, or almost certainly be caught trespassing in a Muggle home and arrested with a identity that doesn't exist yet. Her mind was made up for her when she could hear the tell-tale signs of footsteps out in the hall. Pushing her fears into the back of her mind, Estella went into survival mode and made her way onto the roof without another conscious thought.

_'Oh my god_!' Estella's mind rejoiced as her body shook with adrenalin. '_I can't believe I just did that_!'

The hard part over, Estella commando-crawled across the rooftop, making her way silently across the property to the wall that marked the boundary of the adjoining property (which was a storey taller). Leaning heavily against the wall, Estella then pulled herself up into a standing position and scuffled her way along the wall until she reached the balustrade of the neighbour's receded balcony. After craning her neck on the look out of any signs of life in the neighbouring house, Estella took a deep breath and threw her leg over the balustrade, making her way onto the balcony. Thankfully the access ladder was on her side of the balcony and so, not having to cross the length of the balcony, she lessened the risk of being seen as she made her way down to the yard.

'_Don't look down_.' She warned herself. It was hard not to though, as she had to make sure no one was within eyeshot of the lower levels of the house too if she wanted to avoid detection. Thankfully, it seemed that no one was home, and Estella was able to set down in the rear courtyard of the neighbour's home without incident.

One thing she didn't count on, however, was the door in the courtyard wall – the one she knew, like all the houses in the terrace, led out into the rear alley – being locked with some sort of high tech Muggle electronic lock.

"Who the heck lives here? James Bond?" Estella cursed, wracking her mind for a solution. The lock was a personalised alarmed mechanism that required a sequence of numbers to be entered correctly into a little keypad that sat within a weatherproof case. Staring blankly at the foreign Muggle security device, Estella suddenly came to appreciate the simple subtlety of Wizarding wards. A ward, for example, would for the most part only be too happy to permit an accidental trespasser their leave.

"Damn Muggle contraptions!" Estella cursed, glaring at the offending technology.

The longer she stared at it, however, the more she was reminded of something.

"Of course!" Estella whispered excitedly to herself as she slapped her head in self-admonishment – she didn't know why she didn't think of it sooner! The previous Summer, when she had visited Hermione's house, the Muggleborn girl had shown her a similar – granted a little more advanced - locking mechanism. The pair had been cutting through the back alley behind the Granger home to avoid a longer walk around the block, and Hermione had forgotten the key code for the back gate, instead reaching her hand under the doorway with her wand and pressing what she had explained to Estella was a 'panic button'. The time and technology of the Granger house having a good 15-20 years on the security installations of this time, Estella could only hope that the Muggle techniques did not alter that much over time as she concentrated her efforts on locating a similar panic switch.

"…and the earthbound Ravenclaw Seeker catches the snitch to win the match!" Estella commentated nonsensically as she located the innocent red button on the lower doorframe behind a brick. Clearly, having spent the Summer with a Quidditch-mad, overgrown child had left its mark.

Pressing the button triumphantly, Estella whooped for joy (as quietly as possible, of course) as the door clicked open and gave her exit into the alleyway. Wand at the ready, Estella closed the door behind her softly and made her way out of the pedestrian only path, headed for the nearest traffic bearing road.

Thank goodness the Knight Bus didn't ask too many questions of its passengers.

Summoning said bus with a patient flick of her wand, Estella was happy to discover that, in this time, a lowly 25 Knuts guaranteed her a fare to London and a Hot Chocolate. Curling up on one of the shaking brass beds gratefully, Estella found a discarded copy of that day's newspaper and gave herself a living history lesson.

She'd guessed from the state of her Uncle and mother that she was at some point in the 1970s, but it was only from seeing the paper's date – August 16 1975 – that Estella could get a proper gauge of her bearing. From her rudimentary calculations, Voldemort had not yet displayed his homicidal intentions, and the Wizarding world was in a tranquil, peace-time lull. Only those high in the Ministry were aware of the impending threat. Muggle wise, the 70s were a time of liberation and awakening, and Estella was enthusiastic to discover how much of this free-spiritedness transcended into the magical community.

"Oi, wot did yer say ye name was?" A tall, skinny, altogether older version of Stan Shunpike tipped his hat at her.

"I didn't." Estella said nonchalantly. "How long until we arrive at the Leaky Cauldron?"

"I dare say no longer than two minutes." Stan Shunpike Snr frowned slightly. "You's might even have walked from where you were! Not often does the Knight Bus get called to the Muggle parts of town like. 'Specially so close to ya destination. Say, you ain't runnin' from somethin' are ya?"

Estella growled softly to herself. So much for the Knight Bus not asking many questions! Guess people were a little more open and talkative in the 70s…

"I'm running late, that's what." Estella clarified, lying smoothly. Portkey was off."

"Ah, say no more." Shunpike smiled, revealing a mouthful of crooked teeth. Pulling a slip of paper from a ticket dispenser he had strapped to his body, he held it out to her. "Here. You'll wanna be givin' this to the foolish codger that made ya dung Portkey. See to it you are suitably reimbursed for your inconvenience like."

"Thank you, Mr Shunpike." Estella smiled and accepted the Wizarding receipt from the man as the bus rammed itself to a halt outside her destination – The Leaky Cauldron.

Scratching his head as he watched the mysterious strange girl disembark his bus, Stan Shunpike Snr frowned.

"I didn't tell her my name, Ern!" He said, turning to his driver. "Has she been on the bus before? I never forget a face…"

The driver in question shrugged.

Shaking the fog from his head, Stan Shunpike Snr swore an oath. "That's it! No more puffin' that muggle dragon stuff for me!"

Staring after the Knight Bus as it shot away from the kerb, headed for Knockturn Alley, Estella could only smile. At least some things managed to stay consistent. She'd heard what the conductor had said as she disembarked the bus, and could only agree – the man did indeed never forget a face. The first time Remus had taken her on the Knight Bus several years earlier, young Stan Shunpike Jnr hadn't taken over the conductor duties from his father yet and Estella had met the older man before his retirement. At the time neither Remus nor Estella could account for the quizzical looks old Shunpike kept shooting her, but now it seemed that mystery had been solved.

But if that was the case – if the older Stan Shunpike remembered her from this time in their own time – then how come Remus or Severus never told her she would be coming back in time? Estella could only hope that their memory of her in the past was obliviated because otherwise it quite possibly meant that either something happened to her before she got to Hogwarts, or she returned to her own time before then. The more she thought about it, the more she realised she actually wanted to spend some time in the past. She knew it wasn't a good idea, but she just couldn't pass up the opportunity to meet her mother properly and maybe even spend some time getting to know Harry's parents.

Harry's parents. They were still alive!

'_I can save them!' _She realised suddenly. Then, as the pieces started to fall into place she got even more excited. Saving Harry's parents meant she was also saving her own father from a prison sentence.

Then what of her mother? Would having Sirius there with his wife as she was giving birth save her?

The possibilities were endless. All Estella knew was that she had to get to Dumbledore.

Halfway through the doorway into the Leaky Cauldron, however, Estella faltered in her step. There was no way Dumbledore would allow her to stay in the past, especially if he knew what she was going to do.

_'Don't tell him you have the time-turner, you silly git_!' A malevolent little voice schemed in the back of her mind.

Perfect. Dumbledore would have no choice but to allow Estella to stay at the school until a way home could be found for her, and that would give her all the time she needed to warn them about Peter.

Peter. Estella's plan hit another snag. Peter probably wasn't marked yet… and she had no proof that he ever would be. Plus, both her father and Remus had told her what they were like in school… of anybody, the marauders would likely think she was pulling a prank. Then what if Harry was meant to be the boy-who-lived? If Voldemort hadn't found the Potters, then how would he have been defeated? He would have kept killing and more lives would have been lost. He could have come after her parents instead that night and she might never have been born.

It was moments like these that Estella appreciated why she was never sorted into Gryffindor – for unlike the members of that house, she thought things through. In the end, she realised that the best thing would be to go to Dumbledore and lay all her cards out on the table – all except the time-turner in her possession, of course – and see what advice he could offer. It wasn't that she was particularly reverent or endeared to the old man, but she would have to be a fool not to acknowledge that he was an extremely powerful wizard, and most certainly superior in knowledge to her.

Pushing off from the wall – where she had been loitering in her thoughts, buried in the shadows – Estella made her way down the dimly lit, narrow passageway that connected the rear entrance with the main bar. Luckily for her, before she had grown tired of the game and sought out the owners of the voices downstairs, Remus and the de-aged Estella had been playing 'shop'. Estella had been 'Madame Malkin', and Remus, her customer; and being ever the industrious little perfectionist, they had been playing with real money. So, not only did Estella have a handy amount stashed away in her little money pouch, and her robes, which had all been charmed to grow as she did (which was quite rapidly each day) were not too conspicuous.

"What can I get for you, kid?" An unfamiliar voice barked at her, rousing her from her reverie.

"Uh, yes, sorry." Estella muttered, unable to place the face of the barman before her as belonging to someone in her time. "I was wondering if it was at all possible to fire-call someone privately?"

"Who would you be looking at calling?" The barman asked of her suspiciously. "Unless it is an emergency, only guests can use the Floo for private calls."

"I think this would count as an emergency." Estella said quietly. "It's really important that I speak with Albus Dumbledore… he's the headmaster of Hogwarts."

"I know who he is." The man barked. "What do you want with him? Where are your parents?"

"I don't know where they are." Estella admitted hopelessly. "But they said if I ever needed help to call Professor Dumbledore."

"I don't think the headmaster of Hogwarts would be able to do much to help you, kid." The barman narrowed his eyes at her, scrutinisingly. "You sure this isn't a matter for the Ministry? They have a division that deals with family services…"

"I'm not a delinquent, sir." Estella said sternly. "Whether it's a call to Hogwarts or the Ministry, either way it's a fire-call, right? So please, sir…"

"Oh bleedin' heck, alright, alright!" The barman sighed, sold by the sympathetic looks a table of ladies who had overheard the child's plight were giving him. "Wait over there by the service door, there's a Floo in me office that you can use. I'll take you soon as Tommy has finished clearing the tables and can cover for me behind the bar, alright?"

"Yes, sir. Thank you sir." Estella said sincerely before pulling out the 4 Knuts she had gotten as change from the Sickle she'd surrendered for her bus fare and putting them on the table. "How much for a Butterbeer?"

"Three Knuts." The barman replied, pulling three of the four Knuts towards him and leaving Estella her change as he deftly drew her a glass of the foamy Wizarding beverage from the tap with his other hand. "You're not from around here, are you kid?"

"Is it that obvious?" Estella sighed as she wrapped her lips around the glass and took a grateful sip of her Butterbeer. She'd had to forgo the hot chocolate on the Knight Bus as her trip was so short, and lunch had seemed so long ago. Her stomach choosing that time to protest, Estella was almost going to ask the gruff, impatient bartender for something to eat, but then she didn't want him to change his mind about letting her use the private Floo, so she contented herself with her drink. Food could wait until Hogwarts – provided the headmaster was willing to hear her out.

"Well you need to use the Floo or what, kid?" The barman asked five minutes later as she was finishing off the last of her drink. "Tommy's gotta go on his break in five, so you had better make it quick. Follow me."

Slamming her glass down in her hurry, Estella scrambled off the bar stool and ducked under the end of the counter, following the burly barman into a tiny back office.

"She's all yours." The barman gestured grandly as they entered the pokey room with a small fireplace taking up an entire wall on the far side. "You'll find the Floo powder on the mantle."

"Thankyou for this." Estella said gratefully as she turned to face the unassuming barman. "Do I owe you anything for the Floo powder?"

"You're really not from around here are you, kid." The barman stated. "Floo powder is free. Consolation prize for the network taxes the ministry insists on imposing for each fireplace that is connected."

'Well that's new.' Estella marvelled to herself. 'or old… whatever.'

"I'll leave you to it then." The barman continued awkwardly. "Tommy's likely itching to get on his break. You should be able to find your own way back out to the bar. I'm trusting you not to touch anything you shouldn't."

"Of course not!" Estella assured him.

Satisfied, the barman turned to leave, but Estella called him back. "I, um, may end up flooing to the headmaster's office if he is agreeable. My parents will know to fetch me from there." She said. "Thank you again, sir."

"Fine." The barman snorted as acknowledgement. "Just so you know though, these rooms are charmed with wards that'll go off if you intend on any monkey business."

"That's ok, sir, you don't have to worry." Estella assured him, smirking inwardly as a certain flying monkey scene from one of her favoured Muggle books came to mind. "I'm a witch from the north, not the west."

Shaking his head in confusion, the barman left the office, giving Estella privacy to use the Floo. Closing the door behind him and crossing over to the fireplace, Estella threw a dash of Floo Powder into the fire.

"Professor Dumbledore's Office, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." She called out clearly.

Moments later, a familiar, yet slightly younger visage of Albus Dumbledore appeared in the fiery green haze.

"Professor Dumbledore! Thank Merlin you're in!" Estella exclaimed. "I really need to come to Hogwarts… right now."

"Whatever for?" Albus asked, somewhat wary.

"Just trust me on this… please?" Estella pleaded.

Professor Dumbledore looked at the child in his Floo appraisingly. He couldn't detect any glamourie charms on the child, and she appeared to be openly distressed about something.

Making his decision, he beckoned to the child. "Why come on through…"

End Chapter: Doppleganger


	78. Cover Story

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated: Thursday 19th May 2005 and dedicated to my Mum who passed through the veil a year ago today and became the voice in _my_ head.

**Chapter Seventy-Eight: Cover Story **

"Now Miss Black," Professor Dumbledore stared pointedly down the end of his half-moon spectacles at the child sat before him, the irl having just returned from a meal in the kitchens. "I have spoken to Mr and Mrs Ollerton over in Wales and they have agreed to let you pose as their daughter, Aries."

"So the real Aries Ollerton is a squib?" Estella asked. "Wouldn't people know that?"

"The Ollertons did not wish to have their daughter discriminated against. They tell anyone who asks that their child is home schooled." Professor Dumbledore said. "Your parents names are Benson Ollerton and Olivia Llewellyn."

"Wait, you mean Ollerton as in the Cleansweep Ollerton? The Ollerton brothers who started the Cleansweep Broom Company in 1926 and changed the entire market in Broom manufacture?" Estella asked, astonished at how she had managed to retain that frivolous piece of information. Then again, her father did not shut up about all things Quidditch in the lead up to the World Cup it could hardly be surprising that she absorbed some of the information. Even though his enthusiasm had yet to get her flying, there wasn't a lot about brooms that's she now didn't know.

"Yes, indeed, the very same family." Albus smiled. "Benson is the oldest son of Barnaby Ollerton, one of the original founders of the company. He and his wife migrated to Wales to live a quiet life. The wind conditions up there are apparently exceptionally good for market testing their prototypes."

"What about Aries? How old is she?" Estella asked.

"Well that my dear, is where we face a slight problem." Professor Dumbledore frowned. "The real Aries Ollerton is nearly 15, she would be in fifth year."

"Well, what should we do?" Estella frowned. "I… I could sit an entrance exam?"

"It would be far less elaborate to enrol you as a third year Muggleborn student." Professor Dumbledore confessed. "I can personally assure you your safety."

Estella narrowed her eyes. "It's not that." She said. "I just know some of the people at this school in the future, and I don't wish to draw their negative attention. It will change how I deal with them in the future."

Professor Dumbledore considered his future student. He had asked not to be told anything about the child's life or the time she is from other than her parent's names, but it troubled him that he might be dealing with a young witch with slightly less than light ambitions. And yet, if she had inclinations towards the Dark Arts, why insist on keeping her 'history' a secret? Why did she not contact her grandparents; who would surely find great ways to exploit their future grandchild's knowledge. But if she was on the side of the light – which he highly suspected given the future Mr and Mrs Black's current disposition – why did she insist on portraying a pureblood student?

A horrible thought crossed his mind. Is the imminent conflict between the Wizarding World and Voldemort's purists still raging twenty years from now? He was about to open his mouth to ask her just that very question when the intriguing Estella Black beat him to it.

"I'm not a supporter of Voldemort, if that's what you're wondering." She said tiredly. "It's really complicated."

"You know child, posing as a Muggleborn could give you the unique opportunity to diversify your school experience." Professor Dumbledore suggested.

"But I don't know _anything _about Muggle things." She played dumb. "There are a lot of students who will be quick to see through…"

"Ah, quite right." Professor Dumbledore conceded. "I suppose I could advance you into fifth year. Charm your appearance to look slightly older…" He mused. "Though of course you will have to be tested to ensure you can handle the workload."

"What about when I go back?" Estella asked. "And my OWLs?"

"Well I am afraid you would have to return to your regular year upon your return to your time. As for your OWLs, I'm sure you'll be home before the exams… and if not we'll cross that bridge then, mmm? Are you sure you don't have an idea where the time turner you used to get back here might be?"

"Very well, Professor." Estella said. "But I am afraid I don't know where the time turner could be. Like I said, I found it by accident. I don't even know who it had belonged to."

That, in itself wasn't entirely a lie. She _did_ find it by accident and though it had been found in her mother's desk, it was unlikely that the woman had even known it was there. Short of giving the antique piece of furniture a thorough going over as she had when scavenging through it for information about her mother, it was a very easy compartment to overlook. Estella doubted that had the desk been given to her, empty, for the purposes of her own personal use, she would have ever found the secret behind the false wall.

"It is unfortunate that none of the time turner that brought you to this time survived the journey." Dumbledore mused. "We could have traced the serial number. They are ministry issued, you know."

"No, I didn't know that." Estella answered truthfully. She didn't realise they were numbered.

"Who is going to be told about my true identity?" She asked after a few moments silence.

"Well the staff will continue to believe you are a student who needed to be assessed before admittance. They believe you to be Aries Ollerton." Albus said. "The less people who know, the better. This includes your parents."

"How come I can't tell them?" Estella asked.

"Terrible things can happen to people who meddle with time." The Professor said gravely. "You do not belong in this time, child. Your influence could change the future."

"But what if that's a good thing?" Estella asked. "Professor, I really do wish you'd let me tell you what happens. Maybe if you knew, you'd be inclined to help make it better."

Professor Dumbledore held up his hand haltingly. "No child." He said in a exasperated tone. "As dreadful as things may come to pass, that is how they are meant to happen. One must not toy with fate."

"What if I told you that Voldemort was winning and I was sent back to change it?" Estella asked stubbornly, one eye brow raised in defiance. "What if the revelation of just one man's true allegiance could save many lives?"

"If you had been sent back in time on a mission you would have come with proof of your mission objectives." Dumbledore frowned slightly. "A note, or memory…"

"You sound like you've sent someone back in time to do your bidding before." Estella challenged. "I thought one mustn't toy with fate?"

"Merlin." Dumbledore shook his head in disbelief, his blue eyes twinkling. "If I had any doubts as to your identity, I no longer harbour them. You are clearly your parent's child."

"So I've been told." Estella smirked, before narrowing her eyes at the formidable old man. "Don't try and change the subject."

"I've not sent anyone back in time, no." Dumbledore admitted. "The variables are too unpredictable. I do, however, know what I would do if I ever _did_."

A thought suddenly struck Estella.

"What if I told you that I know you _have_ sent someone back in time before?" She asked, grinning slightly. "You sent someone I know back in time to save an innocent man from receiving the Dementor's Kiss."

Dumbledore sighed, but short of opening his mouth to reply, Estella went on.

"What if I told you that this innocent man now lives as a fugitive, and that prior to being rescued from that cruel fate he'd already spent a good deal of his life in Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit?" Estella said. "Could you live with yourself knowing that you could have saved the man from ever having endured a day of it?"

"I don't seem to follow." Dumbledore frowned. "The ministry has sophisticated procedures in place to ensure a person's guilt…"

"The Wizarding world was in a difficult place, headmaster." Estella shook her head in frustration. "The rules were thrown out the window in this case. Don't ask me how or why, I'm not one of the foolish dunderheads who worked at the ministry at the time – all I know is what havoc they caused with their mistakes."

"So you want to see that the right person gets imprisoned for the crime?" Dumbledore sought clarification.

"No." Estella said firmly, her jaw set in a firm line. "I want to prevent the crime from ever occurring."

"Estella…" Dumbledore paused as he tried to find the right words. "It's honourable that you want to try and redeem a man before he chooses the wrong path, but I stand by what I said earlier…"

"No, headmaster." Estella interjected, her voice resolute. "I do not wish to redeem anyone. I just want people to see this man for who he is…"

"Have you thought about the implications of what might happen if certain events do not come to pass?" Professor Dumbledore asked carefully, mindful of the young girl's reaction. "I see even you have your doubts."

"It _could _change things." Estella admitted forlornly. "Whether for good or bad I don't know."

"Are you willing to take that risk?" Professor Dumbledore asked. "Are you prepared to give up everything you know for a uncertain future?"

"I don't know." Estella said, frowning. "I should. Merlin knows I should. Whatever it is that I will give up could hardly be as much as what I could be saving."

"But you don't know if saving them in this instance will truly save them?" Dumbledore offered knowingly. Estella nodded. "I know it must be hard for you child, but perhaps you should leave things as they are."

"It's so frustrating." Estella acknowledged, her mind reeling at what she might be compelled to do when she will inevitably meet the younger Peter Pettigrew. "If I could just tell you everything I know that happens, you could offer me better advice…"

"I can't." Dumbledore shook his head. "I may be an old and wise man, Estella; but I am a man."

"You would want to change things too." Estella realised aloud. "You would, wouldn't you?"

"Did you not already suggest that I had?" Dumbledore raised a brow at her.

"Oh, yeah, that." Estella nodded. "But please, Headmaster, wouldn't you like to do more?"

"One always wishes they could do more." Dumbledore admitted softly. "Yet there is only so much we can do."

"Can, or will, sir?" Estella frowned, discouraged by the headmaster's unwillingness to help her make up her mind.

"There's a lot one can achieve if they have the will." The old man replied cryptically, the twinkle present in his eye. "Now, about where you'll be spending the rest of your Summer…"

"Can't I stay here?" Estella asked, fidgeting in her chair, not knowing what to make of the headmaster's latest analogy.

"You may stay here until after your assessment, which I should think will be finished with by the end of the week." Albus said. "That should give enough time for your things from the Ollerton's to arrive."

"Oh, wait…" Estella said, feeling uncomfortable. "I can't take anything from them…"

"Nonsense child, they have agreed to 'sponsor' you, as it were." Albus said, smiling encouragingly. "Think of it as doing them a favour… they never got to send a child of their own to Hogwarts."

"Well, um, won't that make things difficult for their real daughter? Knowing that um, I'm substituting for something she can't?" Estella chewed on her bottom lip nervously.

"Rest assured child, Aries' relationship with her parents is solid." Albus' smile grew wider. "Though I do admire your consideration. If it makes you feel any better, I daresay it will be Aries herself who will pack your trunk with a few of her old childhood belongings. For authenticity."

"Oh." Estella smiled. "Will I be staying with them for the rest of the Summer then?"

Albus removed his glasses and rubbed his brow. It had been an extremely long evening. "I, er, had anticipated that you would want to stay with your parents." He said. "It appears both young Miss Snape and Master Black will be guests of a young Gryffindor by the name of James Potter for the rest of the holidays. I took the liberty of speaking with Mr Potter…"

"So…so I have to go to the Potters?" Estella sighed; deciding that maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing after all. "It would be most interesting, I suppose. But Sirius and James play Quidditch… I don't even fly and my family is supposed to make brooms!"

"Wizards seldom divulge the secrets of their family trade." Albus smiled that all-knowing smile. "You'll be fine."

"I would really like to meet the Ollertons and thank them one day… if not now, then when I get back." Estella said.

"Yes, yes of course, I am sure we will be able to work something out." Albus said. "Now child, you must simply be exhausted. Shall I have a House Elf show you to a room?"

Estella nodded sleepily, her eyes suddenly droopy. "Thank you for all your help. You will be sure to remember to tell my… family… in my time that I am ok, and that I will be home soon?"

"Yes, of course I won't forget." Dumbledore assured her.

* * *

As Estella flooed to the residence of the Potter family two days later, Estella faced one problem. Buried, at the very bottom of her trunk, was a prototype Cleansweep broom – the fastest of its kind at that time. Even if she didn't reveal it to anyone, everyone, particularly the boys she was about to spend the last of the holidays with, would expect that she had one. 

Not surprisingly, the school curriculum had changed a little in the twenty years since Estella was last at school. Some of the charms she had been learning in Second Year, for example, were still, by her calculation, months (even years) away from being discovered. It was this fact alone, together with all the years of early tutoring and book smarts that advanced her into fifth year - barely. Whilst she still had her weaknesses in Transfiguration and History of Magic, she was more than competent in Potions and Charms. She also had to select some electives – subjects she would not have started until her third year – and so she picked Muggle Studies, Care of Magical Creatures and Divination because between spending her Summers in the Muggle world, spending most of her afternoons as a small child with a very talkative Magical Creatures enthusiast and the simple fact alone that Divination has always, and will always be a 'waste of time'; Estella knew she would be able to get by. Of course, if she was in her own time and entering into her proper year, she'd have most preferred to have done something more intellectually stimulating as Arithmancy and Ancient Runes, but since she had to appear for all intensive purposes as a home-schooled 15 year old and those subjects really did require two years of previous study, Estella had little choice in the matter.

* * *

"Why hello young lady, you must be Miss Ollerton!" A cheery, middle aged man was there to welcome her as she tumbled out of the fireplace. "It's an honour to welcome you to our home!" 

Estella gaped at the man openly… asides from his eyes and the faint lines around his face, he looked uncannily like Harry. They had the same bone structure, and although Mr Potter's hair was styled differently and peppered with grey, she had no doubt it had been unruly before it had began to thin out with age.

"M-m-Mr Potter." Estella stumbled. "Please, call me Aries."

"Henry, Henry Potter." Mr Potter shook her hand warmly. "But please, call me Harry. Everyone does."

Estella's eyes bulged. '_Well this is certainly going to be interesting'_ She thought. Turning to humour as her habitual tension reliever, she smirked. "But surely not everyone calls you 'Harry', sir!" She exclaimed. "Whatever does James call you?"

As though he had some sort of bizarre sixth sense, the said James Potter bounded into the room.

"Hey Daddio! Is our guest here yet?" James asked before noticing that she had indeed arrived. "Oh, hello!"

Rolling her eyes, Estella exchanged an conspiratorial look with the charismatic Mr Potter and grinned. "I guess that answers that question."

James gave his father a questioning look, but was only met with matching mirth filled eyes. Estella, meanwhile, crossed over to the lanky looking boy ('_Merlin he looks even more like Harry_!') to shake his hand.

"Hi! Aries Ollerton." She said. "It's nice to meet you, James."

"Likewise!" James said, ready to burst with excitement. "So is it really true? Are you the granddaughter of one of _the_ Ollerton brothers? The Ollerton brothers who created the best range of brooms in all of time?"

"No. I come from a different time and am only masquerading as Barnaby Ollerton's granddaughter." Estella deadpanned, sarcastically. Little did they know she was telling the truth. She couldn't get over how much like her father James was in his enthusiasm for broomsticks. Behind her, Henry Potter laughed.

"Yes James, Barnaby Ollerton is Aries' grandfather." Henry said. Estella nodded in agreement – after all, Mr Ollerton was the grandfather of the _real_ Aries Ollerton.

"I can see you are going to fit in just fine, Aries." Henry patted her shoulder encouragingly. "Why don't you let James show you to your room and show you around the house?"

"Alright, it was nice to meet you Sir." Estella said, smiling at her host. "Thankyou for having me."

"Not a problem, kiddo." Henry smiled. "And please, call me 'Harry', will you? 'Sir' makes me feel like a Hogwarts Professor."

"But Dad, you _are_ a Hogwarts Professor!" James rolled his eyes indignantly.

"You're a _Hogwarts Professor_?" Estella stared, wide eyed. "But…"

"I haven't started yet." Henry confessed. "I'm actually an Auror, but Professor Dumbledore has asked me to teach the upper years Defence this year. In light of the rather delicate position the Wizarding world is bordering on at the moment, Albus thinks it best to have an Auror on hand to protect the students and offer an advanced curriculum."

"Yes, my parents decided I would be safer at Hogwarts this year." Estella said, foggy memories of her history lessons about Voldemort's first rising indicating that he was to become a serious force some time later that year. "So that's why my entrance exam was so hard!" Estella exclaimed.

Henry's lips twitched. "Ah, but I see you did exceptionally well, young lady." He beamed. "Might even give my young progeny here a run for his money."

James' jaw dropped. "What do you mean by that Dad!"

"That she's evidently been tutored by a Auror – or someone extremely well versed in Defence." Henry suggested, giving Estella a curious side-long look. "I am sorry that I couldn't be there to witness your testing, your family must have quite the library."

Colour rushed to Estella's cheeks. "Um, thanks." She blushed. "But I'm sure I only did as well because Professor Fennel wasn't as familiar with the syllabus."

"The man actually flooed me and asked if I was playing a prank on him… asked if I'd come to the school disguised as you. Said it was unusual for a child to have such theoretical knowledge on Defence tactics. That essay was very impressive! Can you imagine, though? A _Potter _playing pranks?"

Estella's brows shot above her hairline. "Oh, of course not." She smirked, thinking of all the unabridged stories her father had shared with her over the summer. "You don't seem the type at all."

"Merlin I wish there wasn't all those rules against underage wizardry! I can't wait to see what you can do." Henry Potter shook his head in frustration, his fingers literally dancing irritably around the place in his robes where his wand was holstered. "If your duelling is good as your written work… Merlin! You truly are a curious child."

"I believe you may be making it out to be something bigger than it is." Estella said awkwardly, heading towards the door where James was impatiently leading her. "Don't forget what curiosity did to the cat." Estella warned, ducking her head back around the doorframe as James had just pulled her out into the hallway, undoubtedly impatient to pick her mind about brooms.

"What do you mean by that?" James asked her, a puzzled expression on his face as he led her down the hall.

"Uh, don't worry." Estella waved it off. "Muggle expression."

James narrowed his eyes. "I thought you were a pureblood."

"I am." Estella answered truthfully. "Are purebloods supposed to be ignorant or something?"

"Are you saying I am ignorant?" James retorted defensively.

"I didn't say anything." Estella shook her head. "You're the one leaping to conclusions."

"Whatever." James ran a hand through his hair, sending it into further disarray. "So do you fly?"

"Actually I don't." Estella shrugged flippantly. "Just because the Ollerton's make brooms, it doesn't mean they all have to fly them."

"Isn't that a bit hypocritical?" James narrowed his eyes at the strange new girl walking alongside him in the hallway of his home. His parents had told him all they knew about their imminent houseguest in preparation of her arrival, but James was becoming increasingly dismayed to realise that she wasn't how he'd thought she'd be. For one, he'd assumed that the first thing she'd want to do would be to show him her broom and ask to see the backyard. Instead, the girl seemed almost despondent about being dragged out of his father's study… his keen Quidditch-honed eyes not missing the furtive looks she was giving his father's collection of rare books.

"You like books then." He stated aloud after the girl didn't respond to his earlier claim.

"When you grow up an only child and are home schooled, books are a girl's only friend." Estella flicked her hair over her shoulder as she turned to look at James fully. "Does that disgust you?"

She hadn't entirely been lying in that admission. She did grow up an only child and it just so happened that the place where she received a great deal of her education was also the place she, until recently, called home. What context her audience chose to take her comment was not her concern.

"You're not how I imagined you would be." James admitted awkwardly, looking her up and down.

"What, did you expect me to race you to the nearest flying point and talk brooms with you?" Estella rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, James, but I am still a girl."

"Clearly." James said mischievously, giving her a once over.

"Prat." Estella retorted.

"You know, just because my father, in his capacity as a Hogwarts Professor with room to spare, agreed to accommodate you for the next week and a half, it didn't automatically sign me up for a shadow." James said warningly. "I've not made up my mind about you yet, but if you so much as embarrass me while my friends are here…"

"Oh please, James. Quit it with the theatrics." Estella shook her head. "I won't cramp your style, if that's what you're concerned about. I don't want a part in what you and your marauding little friends are up to, I'm perfectly capable of keeping myself occupied."

"What did you just say?" James rounded on Estella, his eyes wide.

"Whatever do you mean?" Estella batted her eyes in mock innocence, knowing full well that her choice of words would have drawn a different meaning to him.

"Nothing, er, forget I said anything." James shook his head. "Look, I'm sorry if I came across as an arrogant ass…"

At this Estella raised a brow.

"…I've been told I can be insufferable…"

_'That would be Lily_', Estella concurred inwardly as she reflected on the stories her godfather and father had told her.

"…look we'll probably all be outside flying around and playing Quidditch and it's not your bag, right? Well I just don't want to be responsible for your entertainment, alright? It's nothing personal, just I had plans and I wasn't expecting…"

"James, James… it's alright, really." Estella held her hands up in defeat. "I really don't mind Quidditch as a spectator sport, you know… and I'm sure I'd be able to borrow a book to read, or something. By all means don't feel obligated. I wouldn't expect you to change your plans. I'm the one who is imposing."

"Er, well, right then." James said by way of agreement. "Your room is this way. Hope you don't mind sharing. A friend of mine – female, don't worry – is arriving later today and she'll be joining you."

"Alright." Estella nodded. "What's her name?"

"Selina Snape." James said, almost visibly shuddering as he said the last name. "Seems only the _male _Snapes are defective."

"Pardon?" Estella frowned. She'd known about the bad blood between the marauders and her uncle, but hearing about it first hand did not make her feel very comfortable.

"Huh? Oh that, long story." James shrugged. "Sel's great fun though. A bit bookish; but that's like you I guess, so you'll probably get along fine."

"That's funny." Estella mused. "You don't seem the type to keep _bookish _friends."

"Oh well my mate Sirius is sweet on her…" James blurted. "Bollocks, I shouldn't have told you that."

"Why not?" Estella's brow furrowed. "Doesn't she know yet?"

There was a pregnant pause.

"That's it, isn't it?" She needled him.

A hesitant nod.

"Don't worry, I won't say anything." Estella assured him. "I'm all for letting nature take its course."

'_Your influence could change the future' _She could hear Dumbledore's voice echoing in her mind.

"Well yes and she's just broke it off with Moony." James muttered, more to himself than anything. Unfortunately for him, Estella heard, and realising this the Gryffindor's ears went bright red. "Uh, that'd be my friend, Remus. You'll meet him this week too." He faltered. "Um, no one's supposed to know Sel and Remus went out. Merlin I don't think Sirius even…"

"James… JAMES!" Estella grabbed the taller boy by the shoulders and shook him slightly. "It's okay."

James glared at her intensely like she was some sort of unidentified omen. "That's just it." He blurted. "It's not okay! I can't believe I told you all that! I never do stuff like that!"

"I don't know what to say to that, James." Estella frowned, genuinely confused.

"I don't know what it is about you, but I just feel like I know you." James confessed. "Like I can trust you… and normally I don't trust very easily. To tell you the truth it's rather unnerving."

'_If only you knew_...' Estella sighed inwardly.

* * *

Estella collapsed in a heap on her bed twenty minutes later, absolutely exhausted. She was going to be sharing the room with her mother, who had yet to arrive. Thankfully the glamour Dumbledore had put on her to make her look older also altered her physical appearance. She now had golden coloured eyes and straight, light brown hair… just about as far removed from the combined Snape/Black gene pool as you could get. Her fingers were also stubbier and her bone structure, a little more dense. Her face was more rounded and less severe in its alignments, and her complexion had a healthy glow of someone who had spent a bit of time in the sun. In all, she was looked neither conspicuous nor plain. 

Alone in the room, Estella couldn't help but be consumed with sadness. All of the people she had met so far that day were already dead in her time – cut down by an evil Dark Lord in the prime of their lives. Part of her wanted to scream and warn them, but she knew it would be useless. She could be doing more harm than good in terms of the bigger picture – the war against Voldemort.

_"Terrible things can happen to those who meddle with time_." Dumbledore had explained to her while explaining why there were laws against intentional time travel. What if she inadvertently did something that prevented her parents from getting together? She wouldn't exist.

After seeing how great the Potter family was and reflecting on how awful Harry's life had been with his Muggle relatives, however, Estella began to think that maybe that wasn't such a huge price to pay.

"Where is she?" A voice boomed from somewhere in the bowels of the house. "I want her to charm my broomstick to go faster!"

"Padfoot!" The familiar voice of James Potter chased the approaching footsteps down the hall. "We can't do magic out of school, you dolt!"

"She can tell your Dad the spell and he could do it!" The voice Estella realised belonged to her future father said affirmatively. "Come on, Prongs! Don't you want to practice your Quidditch moves on a superior broom?"

James grumbled something Estella couldn't quite hear on account of the urgent knocking at her door. Guessing that ignoring it would not keep someone as excitedly hyperactive as Sirius Black out she rolled off her bed and opened the door.

"Yes? Can I help you?" She asked with a little bit more edge in her voice than she had intended as she rubbed her eyes tiredly.

Sirius' face fell. "I'm sorry, you were resting." He said apologetically. "I'll come back later."

'_Boy he really knows how to turn on the charm.' _Estella absently thought as she peered at the younger form of her father. He didn't look anything like he did from the short time she'd gotten to know him. Even though he had put on a bit of weight and was cleaner than he had been when he'd first got out of Azkaban, Estella could see now that he had been nothing like his usual self. The Sirius before her now looked positively radiant. His face and hair were full, and his eyes were no longer sunken and haunted. They were dancing and full of mirth.

Familiar grey eyes locked with her disguised ones and smiled at her. "Though I suppose since you're up now you could maybe do me a favour…" Sirius grinned winningly at her.

Estella raised her eyebrows at the expectant boy before her and shook her head slightly. "I could hear you coming down the hall a mile offlike stampeding flock of Manticore!." She said. "I'm sorry but I won't be able to help you."

"Come _on_." Sirius pleaded. "Please? I'll owe you a life debt!"

"I hardly think broom aerodynamics is a life or death situation." Estella shook her head harder. "I am not permitted to disclose trade secrets to people outside the Ollerton family circle of trust. I swore a Wizard's Oath. You don't want to see the consequences if I break it!"

Estella was in fact telling the truth. The night previously a specially sealed pensieve had been delivered along with the trunk she now had in her room. In the pensieve wereas memories belonging to the Ollerton family. She now knew enough about her 'family' and alter ego that she could withstand casual questioning, and get into 'character' as much as possible. It was a surprise to her, however, when Dumbledore told her she was also selected to be a guardian of the Ollerton legacy. Estella had not heard of anything like that before in her life, but apparently in times of war or illness (etc) prominent families that wished to preserve a tradition or legacy would often employ the services of a guardian – an insurance policy if you will - to ensure that their family trade would survive. It was particularly common for families without a magical heir – like the Ollertons – to deploy such contingencies. Estella was, as such, instilled with all the practices, secrets and knowledge of the Cleansweep Broom company in the same manner as though she were really Aries Ollerton.

A letter that accompanied the pensieve explained it all to Estella. She was required to swear a Wizard's Oath to protect the integrity of the knowledge she had been given, and obliged to pass on the information to a suitable person (i.e one who would want to carry on the company and was magically able to do so) in the event that the Ollerton family did not produce a magical heir of their own. It was all they asked in exchange for the 'borrowing' of their squib daughter's identity, and Estella was indebted to accept. She made a mental note to ask the headmaster exactly what he had told the Ollerton's about her. It wasn't every day that a family would get a call from a respected patriarch of the Wizarding community asking to borrow the identity of their child. To some extent though, it made sense… if the information she had been entrusted with was really so important, then no competitor would think to look for it in her.

"Aries? Earth to Aries?" James waved his hand in front of Estella's blank face, causing her to snap back onto task.

"Oh, sorry." She said, blushing slightly. "I was just thinking that you have yet to formerly introduce me to your friend."

James slapped his head dramatically. "Of course! Aries Ollerton, Sirius Black, co-marauder and partner in crime." He said, gesturing appropriately. "Sirius Black, meet Aries Ollerton, heir apparent to the Cleansweep broom company and from what we've heard, a force in Defence. I suggest we don't mess with her."

Estella smiled sweetly. "Do if you dare." She said warningly, mentally noting the friendly challenge in the fathomless grey pupils. Deciding that a change in subject was due, she feigned innocent curiosity. "What's a marauder?"

"Messieurs Prongs and Padfoot at your service." They recited uniformly, bowing deeply in a manner that reminded Estella immediately of the Weasley twins, who were well known around the school in her time. "Apologies for the absences of Messieurs Moony and Wormtail."

"What?" Estella blinked in bewilderment. "English, please?"

"Our friend, Remus Lupin…" James began.

"That's Moony." Sirius cut in.

"Is ill at the moment, he retired directly to his quarters upon arrival." James finished.

"And Wormtail's parents wouldn't let Peter come visit." Sirius added.

Estella nodded slowly, relieved for that last fact. "I see." She said. "Where on earth did you get those nicknames from?"

James and Sirius exchanged a mischievous look.

"Can't tell you." James shook his head vehemently. "Trade secret."

"You're not in the marauder circle of trust." Sirius sniggered.

Estella rolled her eyes. "Oh, I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!" She sarcastically quoted the line from one of her favourite movies from the previous summer, 'Wayne's World'. Pulling herself to her full height – which was slightly taller thanks to Dumbledore's adjustments – and looking them square in the eyes through the glass panes of the glasses she insisted on wearing to complete her incognito look, she turned serious. "Don't even suggest that we trade information. I wouldn't betray the Ollerton family legacy just to satisfy my self-indulgent curiosity of some juvenile schoolboy game."

Sirius groaned. "You're really going to get along with Selina." He moaned, clasping a hand to his head dramatically. "God heavens, Prongs, what will we do… two of them!"

James shot Sirius a quick look, smirking. "We're doomed."

Estella couldn't help herself, she laughed. If only they knew!

* * *

Selina arrived shortly after dinner, finding Estella alone in their room. Surprised, she dropped her trunk on the floor and immediately spun around to lock the door in Sirius' face – who had been sauntering after her, expecting to come in. 

"Who are you?" She hissed, her hands perched on her hips.

"Um, Aries Ollerton." Estella mumbled, caught of guard. "Didn't James tell you?"

"Yes he told me about you." Selina looked at her suspiciously. "What I want to know though is why you were at my house the other day. In my room."

Estella froze. "What do you mean?" She said with a little more strength than she actually had. Meanwhile, her mind was reeling. _'How on earth could she see through the disguise? She'd only caught but a glimpse of her real self at the house!'_

"You were in my bedroom a few days ago!" Selina vowed. "I'm sure it was you."

"I'm sorry, but you must have me mistaken for someone else." Estella reinforced her innocence.

"Your hair was black and you were a little shorter…" Selina continued falteringly. "Well I guess that wasn't you… but you do look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?"

"I don't believe so." Estella shook her head slowly. "I've spent over twelve years of my life mostly confined within the perimeter of my residence and the neighbouring village. Have you ever been to Wales?"

Anyone listening in on the conversation could be forgiven for assuming that the mysterious new girl was implying that she lived in Wales; but inwardly the said girl knew she was not lying. She had spent a majority of her life confined to Hogwarts and the adjoining Hogsmeade… and she was curious to know if her mother had ever travelled to Wales. Estella herself had never been there, but who was she for specifics? Misdirection – an art form highly regarded by all Slytherins – was hardly celebrated; but it was not evil when used for the right reasons, and it was most certainly not lying… which was something Estella despised. Deceptive, maybe, but a person could not be held accountable for how others chose to perceive things.

Though Selina had seemingly shaken the idea that Estella was the same girl she'd caught trespassing in her room, something told Estella that the teenaged version of her mother had given up on working her out just yet. Part of Estella was dismayed at the appearance of this barrier – this wariness – as all she wanted to do was get to know her mother; but on the other hand she was hardly surprised. Her mother was a Snape, after all.

_'If only I could tell them everything_.' Estella sighed inwardly. She came close to telling her mother then and there, but, after thinking things through from their perspective, she held back. It was likely that they wouldn't believe her anyway, and telling anyone would only serve to reinforce those barriers.

Besides, Estella wasn't sure if she could handle her father knowing at all. While he was oblivious and looked so different it was easier for Estella not to reconcile the funny, loyal and daring Quidditch fan she had met that afternoon with the wrongly accused fugitive she was only marginally more familiar with. Knowing him as little as she did, she knew if he knew he'd not know how to stop asking the questions she wasn't ready to answer. As for her mother, well, she didn't know her at all – and that put a wild card on how the girl would react. No, if she was going to tell anyone her true identity, it would most likely be Remus. With the night before being a full moon, and Wolfsbane being years away from being developed, Estella was immediately anxious upon hearing that he was 'ill' and 'sleeping it off'. She had vague memories of how tired and worn down her Godfather had been after his transformations before the Wolfsbane Potion had been invented and she couldn't fathom its effects on the body of a mere child. Not that Estella would dare refer to any of the 15 year old boys in her company as children to their faces… they were convinced in their adolescent arrogance, that they were invincible. Knowing the future, however, Estella knew differently.

They were children.

* * *

As Estella had expected, the introduction to her 15 year old Godfather had been a terribly awkward affair. While she was continuously struggling to hold herself back from throwing her arms around the boy, Remus was shy, and secretive, his senses still sensitive from the recent moon. 

Much to her horror, James and Sirius leapt to the completely wrong conclusion that she and Remus would be good together and appeared determined to set their friend up with her. When she had leapt to her own defences, forcibly hitting that nail on the head before it had a chance to fester in their twisted little minds, Remus had recoiled with a haunted look of hurt that made Estella cringe. It was the same look he had given her when she had pushed him away that day outside the Herbology lab. How could she have been so insensitive? Short of actually telling him who she really was, she was at a loss, and when she turned to Selina for advice on how to explain to Remus that it wasn't personal, she was met with a cold shoulder; the older girl evidently unforgiving at the pain she had caused Remus.

"Remus!" Estella called after the boy as he sulked after James and Sirius at the end of breakfast. "Can I speak with you for a moment, please?"

Remus looked back at Sirius and James, who stepped up to flank his sides.

"Alone?" She pressed, looking pleadingly at Sirius and James who looked a little affronted, only stepping away once Remus had nodded his assent.

"What do you want?" Remus asked curtly, the hurt evident in the strain of his voice.

"Please, just come with me." Estella said, grasping his hand without hesitation. "I will explain everything."

Once they had reached a deserted part of the house where they could be guaranteed some privacy, Estella cleared her throat.

"It's nothing personal, Remus." She said quietly. "I really didn't mean to knock you back that forcefully. I just wanted to get the idea out of Sirius and James' heads."

"What makes you think you know them that well?" Remus asked coldly. "You've only known them half a day. You don't have to use them as an excuse, you made your intentions quite clear."

"But that's just it, Remus. I didn't." Estella frowned. "I'd love to be friends with you, really I would. I think we'd have a lot in common. I'm just not looking for anything more. That's all I meant, alright?"

"Why didn't you just say that then?" Remus scowled tiredly.

"Look," She sighed, inwardly thinking how embarrassed her godfather would be to remember this in the future. "I've got unresolved issues with a male friend back home, see." She said, referring to how her last conversation with Harry had gone before they'd respectively found out about her father's innocence. "And I can tell from the looks you and Selina have been giving each other all morning that there's something fresh there, am I right?"

Remus' head shot up in shock, his amber eyes blinking owlishly at her.

"I'm not after specifics. It's not my business." Estella assured him. "My point is I don't think a relationship would be very appropriate at this time, for either of us."

_'Or at least within the context that my father is rather stupidly implying' _She added to herself, silently wondering what her father was presently making of the revelation that she was Aries Ollerton in light of how he'd tried to set her up with her own Godfather.

Remus was silent.

"Look I am sorry if I offended you, but James and Sirius just don't seem the sort to take a hint, so I had to be blunt." Estella concluded. "Friends?"

"Friends." Remus said pensively, after a few moments of thought. "Being on James and Sirius' radar, you're going to need all the friends you can get."

* * *

Meanwhile, outside their room at that very moment, were two sets of straining ears. 

"Merlin I wish I could cast a eavesdropping charm!" Sirius said.

"Yeah, but if we could do that they would have put up a impenetrable charm anyway." James whispered back levelly. "I wonder what's going on in there!"

"Maybe Aries is inviting Remus into the Ollerton circle of trust." Sirius sulked.

"I don't think it's that." James said thoughtfully. "Maybe she just wanted to apologise to Moony for being so abrupt earlier."

"In private?" Sirius asked doubtful. "I reckon they're making out."

"Ah Padfoot, I can't profess to know a thing about what goes through a girl's mind." James shrugged, smirking. "Surely she would realise that Moony wouldn't keep such indiscretions secret!"

Sirius smirked, apparently satisfied at James' suggestion. "Maybe." He said, smiling. "Which means… there may be hope for the pair of them yet!"

"Sirius…" James said, a hint of feigned warning in his voice. "You know Remus hates it when you try and set him up!"

Twinkling grey eyes flashed mischievously at the bespectacled boy.

"So? Your point is…?"

"What if they're not snogging?" James frowned. "What if they're in there at complete loggerheads with each other?"

"So, won't be any different to you trying to get with Lily and me trying to get with… _you know who_."

With that, the leaders of the marauders began to hatch their plan.

End Chapter: Cover Story 


	79. Defence Against the Dark Arts

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated: Friday 27 May 2005

**Chapter Seventy Nine: Defence Against the Dark Arts **

The last week of Summer went extraordinarily quickly for Estella. She was looking forward to seeing what the school was like during the 70s, if only because it would mean James and Sirius would not be so near by and persistent with their attempts to pair her up with Remus… which was just _wrong_.

Despite Remus' newfound allegiance, Sirius and James were unrelenting in their pursuit to see the pair of them romantically linked. If anything, the werewolf's sudden tolerance and acceptance of the new girl only cemented their resolve. Their constant innuendo and insistence was growing annoying, and both she and Selina were happy to be escaping to the relative 'freedom' of the Ravenclaw House.

One thing she had always admired about the stories she had been told growing up was the strong bond of 'brotherhood' the 'fictional' characters had shared. Now she was seeing it in the flesh, she was beginning to see how Remus had found it so difficult to reconcile the Sirius he'd grown up with, to the Sirius who had gone to Azkaban. Her mind elsewhere, Estella began to wonder what her family back home was doing. How her Uncle and father were getting along; whether or not any progress had been made in trying to clear his name. Watching them across the Great Hall from her place at the Ravenclaw table, it ate away at her that these were all questions she wouldn't know the answer to until she got back to her own time. Spending the meantime with the oblivious, teenaged forms of said parties – their presence forming a constant reminder of what awaited her back in her own time – was going to be sheer torture.

"What are you frowning about, Aries?" Selina nudged Estella from where she sat next to her future child at the table.

"Nothing." Estella sighed. "I'm just dreading our first DADA class."

"Why? Mr Potter will be great!" Selina frowned.

"Well I did really well in my entrance exam, I'm worried that he's going to expect too much." Estella said, not entirely lying – she was never one for being a class extrovert. "My written stuff is all good, but I lack the timing. It's silly I know."

Selina spared Estella a worried glance. "No, of course not." She said. "Though I am sure Harry won't push you where you don't want to go. I doubt he'd be able to."

"What do you mean by that?" Estella asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Well look at how you handled Remus last week." Selina said, her lips curling. "You made him seem like nothing more than cauldron scum at breakfast that day yet ten minutes in a locked room and you're friends. I must say I was impressed."

Estella responded by giving her mother a sidelong look, her own lips curling as she brought her glass to her mouth. She said nothing.

Twenty minutes later they were sat in their first class of the year, Defence Against the Dark Arts… with the Gryffindors.

"Good Morning class, my name is Henry Potter." Henry Potter swept into the room, addressing his class as he paced. "Some of you may know me as James' father." – Here he looked pointedly at them – "But I assure you right now there will be no favouritism in this classroom. Defending one's self and one's livelihood is a serious business… Sirius, don't give me that look… and it is imperative that we do not approach it lightly."

Estella cast her eyes over to her future father, taking in his flabbergasted look of indignation. Mr Potter hadn't, she soon realised, been looking in their direction when he'd scolded Sirius!

"I am not a Professor of my craft, so I will not expect you to grace me with such a title." Mr Potter continued. "I do, however, have 20 years of extensive experience being an Auror…" a collective hush filled the room. "As such you may refer to me by my professional title outside of this classroom, Auror Potter or…" At this he swung himself onto the edge of his desk. "You can call me Harry… why? Because on the battlefield we're all the same to the enemy and if we're to fight against them side by side there's little room for social class and etiquette." He hopped off the desk and began prowling up the aisle. "Now, would anyone else like to share with the class why it's not a good idea to call me 'Auror Potter' during an attack? Selina?"

Selina spun around in her chair in front row to face Mr Potter where he now stood at the back of the class. "In an act of warfare it is tactically advantageous to eliminate the ranking officers. If you were identified as a Auror you would be duly targeted, leaving the less experienced without a leader."

Henry Potter smiled warmly and clapped his hands together in appreciation. "Excellent work. Five points to Ravenclaw." He said, walking back down to the front of the classroom to pick up the roll. "Now, another important aspect of Defence is to never underestimate your opponent! It is, for example, a very inane, archaic impression of our chivalrous male egos to readily assume that our female counterparts are weak or in some way inferior in the discipline of Defence." He stared knowingly at Estella. "I can assure you that this is hardly the case, it is merely a consequence of conditioning. Some of the worthiest Aurors are female; and to prove that girls, you are just as competent as the boys and boys, girls do not always need you to act as a human shield; I will be assigning you all with a class partner of the opposite gender." The class groaned. "So, as I call out your names, if you could please go and introduce yourself to your partner and ensure you sit with them for all classes this year. Sirius Black, if you could join Selina and Aries at their table you will be Selina's partner." The Marauders and those who knew of the handsome Gryffindor's intentions towards the omniscient Ravenclaw sniggered.

Henry Potter ignored the disruption and continued as soon as Sirius had taken his seat next to Selina. "Remus Lupin, if you could be so obliged as to join with our newest student, Aries, I would be forever grateful." Estella narrowed her disguised honey eyes at her teacher in suspicion, seeing straight through the feigned coincidence in his selection and catching the conspiratorial wink he shared with James and Sirius. "James, I do believe Lily would be best suited to put you in your place…"

…and so the sorting continued, until, five minutes and a multitude of chair scrapings and muttered curses later, the entire class was paired off. Glancing around the room, Estella was surprised to note just how many future life partners were paired together. A lot of the people in that room were parents of her classmates; and here she was, perhaps, witnessing just how it all began.

"Right." Henry said, tucking away his roll and pulling out his wand to conjure a duelling platform. "Now who would like to demonstrate?"

Estella hit her head on the table a little too forcefully. '_not me, not me, not me, not me_!' She inwardly screamed.

"Aries, Remus… how nice of you to volunteer." Henry smiled, unbidden challenge and mirth dancing in his twinkling eyes. Looking directly at Estella as she slowly rose from her chair, he added. "Let's see what you can do."

In turn, Estella groaned softly. "What's the matter?" Remus whispered, only he had been able to hear her.

"I just find it ironic, is all." She sighed. "One of the first rules in defence is to be unpredictable, yet even a blind man could have seen that he would have gotten me to demonstrate."

"Well it should certainly be interesting." Remus smiled slightly, half hoping that the new student's reputation was somewhat embellished.

"Assume your positions. You may begin when ready." Henry invited them onto the stage, then moved to stand a discreet distance away.

Estella and Remus, meanwhile, had taken their places on opposite ends of the platform, turning to bow to each other respectfully before drawing their wands.

"Expelliarmus!" Remus fired the disarming spell at Estella, which she almost lazily parried with a deflective shield.

"Protego! Tarantallegra!" Estella shot back in rapid succession, catching Remus unawares, causing his feet to dance against their will.

"Finite!" Remus pointed his wand at his legs, after hurling a bat bogey hex at Estella.

"Rictusempra!" Estella shot back, having been hit by Remus' hex, but still able to cast spells.

"Reducto!" Remus dodged Estella's spell and cast a blasting spell at the table she'd ducked behind so she could counter the Bat Bogey hex. "Furnunculus!"

"Fumos Alarte!" Remus had missed Estella completely with his boils curse, having not anticipated that she would stay where the blasted desk was; and so he was therefore caught by her anti-gravity mist and spun upside down. "Impendimenta!" She followed through, slowing Remus' actions down to a disadvantage.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Remus somehow managed, but before Estella had thrown a Disarming spell at the boy, who had slowly but surely step out of the anti-gravity mist and floated the floor, the Impediment Jinx not yet worn off.

It was then, how, Remus; unable to move very quickly, found himself wandless, and Estella found herself on the floor in a body bind, her wand in her hand and Remus' wand by her side.

"Excellent! A draw!" Henry smiled, cancelling the respective spells and leading the class in applause as the pair stood up, side by side.

"Well done, both of you." Henry smiled, his hazel eyes glistening. "15 points each for both managing to cast spells whilst hexed and for being able to counter the curses you were exposed to." Estella and Remus shook each other's hands and returned to their seats whilst Henry turned to continue teaching the class.

Estella felt as though Henry was disappointed in her performance. For assessment purposes her vocabulary of hexes and curses was extremely high because of the sheer level of tutoring and reading she had done in her youth; but thinking of what spell to use and when and putting her knowledge to practical use was still her Achilles heel when it came down to timing. Her father, whom she had never duelled, had after all beaten her that night in the Shrieking Shack – with a inferior wand at his disposal, no less! Estella's prowess lay primarily in the knowledge of spells at her disposal, and the survival basics of Defensive tactics – how to recognise a unthreatening spell and take a curse without becoming incapacitated; and how to use her smart mouth as a weapon to destabilise a stronger foe. Years of practice had honed her reflexes and response time, and given her a breadth of spells to cast, but in the event of a real attack, her energies would be thrown into getting away from her attacker, not overpowering them.

The rest of the lesson covered tactical manoeuvres, with most of the time spent with Henry answering questions about his years as an Auror. As the class was filing out for their next class (which was Herbology), Henry asked her to stay behind.

"I know from your test results that you know far more advanced spells than those." He said gravely. "I was wondering why you didn't choose to use any of them to better effect? You would have won the duel."

Estella looked the Potter patriarch straight in the eye and smiled wanly. "Remus is my friend. It was a friendly duel, I did not see the need." Estella replied. "I wasn't out to win."

Henry sat on the edge of his desk, his hands clasped in his lap. "Do not be afraid of damaging a boy's ego, Aries. You need to feel free to develop your abilities and learn from experience. A little bruising to one's ego is the lesser of two evils when you consider the lesson that could be learned from it. Here's a pass for you to give Madame Sprout to account for your tardiness."

Estella took the gold piece of parchment gratefully, her mouth falling open in shock when she saw that while it had her teacher's signature the details were blank.

Seeing her quizzical look, Henry smiled. "It's a little something of my own invention." He grinned. "It will fill in the details as you need them. The boys all have one."

"You're encouraging us to skive?" Estella frowned.

"On the contrary, I just understand that sometimes it's easy to lose track of time; and you're sure to get lost getting to class for the next couple of weeks until you find your way around. Use it wisely – the other teachers will start asking questions if you all start turning up late to every class with a pass always signed by me."

"Uh, well, thank you." Estella smiled, nodding her assent before rushing off in the direction of the Greenhouses for her next class, leaving a overgrown child smiling mischievously behind her.

* * *

One downside to her selection of subjects, was that Estella was in hardly any of the same subjects as her mother or Remus. She'd hardly even been introduced toher Godmother even, the girl being not only in separate classes, but a different house.Instead, Estella found herself in the omnipresent company of Sirius and James, two men that up until that point in her life, remained an enigma. Herbology, she shared with the Hufflepuffs, and so Selina and Estella worked together, Estella keen to find out more about her mother without the interference of the boys in their lives. After lunch in Potions, incidentally, Estella had been partnered with none other than her uncle – a situation that proved entirely difficult given the Slytherin's diligent suspicions and keen mind. Trying to even befriend Severus was simply out of the question, as she quickly came to realise. The young man was presently too readily swayed by the influence of the dark arts to approach the revelation with a level head. It pained Estella to acknowledge it, but the young Severus was a danger to her… especially given the crowd he surrounded himself with. 

"Just who are you really?" Severus snarled at her in a hoarse whisper as they huddled over their potion. It was clear he was affronted by her ability – he'd evidently resigned himself to a horrid lesson of waiting for the unassuming new girl to catch up to him. "Who tutored you?"

Estella averted her eyes from the dominant presence beside her and concentrated on mincing her mandrake roots. "Aries Ollerton. I was privately tutored before coming to Hogwarts." She answered carefully, reinstating a thoroughly established fact. "Why ever won't you believe me."

"You look different." Severus said finally, his eyes still scrutinising her. "You're a little taller than those of the Ollerton line, your features aren't as dark, and there hasn't been a woman of Llwellyn linage who hasn't had blue eyes."

Exhaling a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding, Estella forced herself to be calm. Trust her uncle to have read up on prominent Wizarding families. Even though her apparent lack of physical likeness to the Ollerton trademarks was something of a dilemma, at least it was better than turning up with the distinctly grey eyes of her father and poise of her mother – bloodlines the young Slytherin was more than intimately familiar with.

"If I didn't know any better, Severus, I'd suspect your observance was a sign of your affections." She drawled, intentionally pushing his buttons in an effort to steer him away from his line of thought.

"That's preposterous!" Severus spluttered, almost dropping the dragon's liver he was holding into the cauldron in his shock. "I was simply making note of the obvious, though it perplexes me how my sister has yet to make note of it. Families such as ours are supposed to take pride in familiarising oneself with our peers."

"So I wanted to make myself fit in a bit more by not appearing to be a undersized gnome!" Estella rolled her eyes, safe in the knowledge that her status as a pureblood afforded the Slytherin a measure of tolerance towards her. "You're reading far too much into the situation. Does everything have to be a conspiracy?"

Conceding defeat, the wry Slytherin inclined his head. "You still haven't answered my question." He stated firmly, leaning in so close to her that his breath fogged her glasses menacingly.

Inwardly, Estella smirked. It appeared that the tables had been turned – so often it had been herself that was left to painfully extract answers from her uncle. Her lips twitched with the irony. "How I acquired my skills behind a cauldron is of little incidence." She said matter-of-factly, turning away from him to work. "I will not dignify such a inane question with an answer at this time. The question of my competence is demonstrably sound, and is the only relevance here."

A muscle in Severus' jaw twitched as he set his jaw in frustration. While he was not accustomed to someone being so forthright with him, he could not help but respect the girl's spirit – her response was something he would expect from a fellow Slytherin, an equal.

"I do not appreciate my sister associating with such illusive entities." He scowled warningly. "You unnerve me with your candour."

Smiling brightly, Estella wanted nothing more than to hug her uncle and compliment him on how adorable he was being in the over-protective brother role. Holding herself back, she forced herself to take his threat very seriously. "I admire your protectiveness over your kin, Severus." Estella said, her eyes twinkling. "Though I do happen to believe that Selina is more than capable of making the right decisions for herself." Ignoring his scowl, she went on. "I won't misguide my hopes by anticipating your trust, Severus, but I would like to hope that you trust your sister enough to make her own decisions."

Severus scowled at her but said nothing.

Estella sighed contentedly for although the boy beside her would not even blink before hexing her if she were to annoy him in some dark hallway, she couldn't help but feel like she was in familiar territory. It was kind of like making a potion with a cross between her Uncle and Draco Malfoy. Both she and Severus were at home behind the cauldron and quite capable of working together for the common cause (the potion) but at the same time both were equally on their guard.

Thought that was the first and only time Severus had ever questioned her so openly, Estella just knew she hadn't alleviated his suspicions. Every now and then she could feel his eyes on her, scrutinising her with the unasked question. She always had known her uncle was a highly intuitive, perceptive individual, and it was now she was beginning to experience first hand just how unnerving that it could be to be on the receiving end of his penetrating gaze. It was a good thing he had taught her some occlumency in her time, for she had no doubt that the 15 year old version of her Uncle would be only too willing to put his developing skills in legilimency to the test.

"Don't let him get to you." Selina whispered in her ear as they left the dungeons after another unnerving Potions lesson – thankfully the only class she shared with the future head of Slytherin House – a few weeks later. "He's just off kilter because he's met his match in Potions and he doesn't like sharing the limelight."

Grinning, Estella could not help but muse at the irony of the statement. For years her Uncle had besmirched Harry for his apparent celebrity – a status Harry neither sought nor wanted – and yet all the while it was her uncle himself that craved recognition for his accomplishments! So much for thinking that the man was the silent, unassuming type. Then again Estella was astonished to realise that perhaps his reluctance to publicly credit himself as inventor of innovative potions such as Wolfsbane probably had more to do with the fact he did not want those sympathetic to the Dark Lord's cause knowing the full extent of his talents than his desire to remain in the shadows where she assumed he felt more comfortable.

The grin vanishing from her face almost as soon as it came, Estella cast her eyes to the unforgiving stone floor. Her whole life she had never truly appreciated just how much her Uncle had sacrificed. It was no wonder he was cold and embittered towards Harry, who was free to 'relish' in his notoriety if he so chose. That Harry had the freedom of choice in the matter and yet chose to not take advantage of his fame was probably akin to a slap in the face to her Uncle who not only had to wear the reputation of being something dark and sinister, but he received little to no acknowledgement for all the times he had risked his life as a spy and all the work he had contributed in the subtle art of potion making.

Faltering in her step, Estella wanted nothing more at that moment than to find the young, as yet unmarked Severus, and warn him against making the biggest mistake in his life. After all he had done for her, he loved her uncle emphatically and knew he deserved better.

"Aries!" Selina was frantic, her eyes shifting back and forth, confirming they were alone in the corridor before dragging Estella into a disused classroom. "What's wrong with you? You just stopped walking all of a sudden and became unresponsive. Aries?"

Shaking her head out of her reverie, Estella peered at her mother curiously. "What?"

"I thought you were going to pass out or something!"

Taking a deep breath, Estella looked at her mother with sad eyes. "I can change it." She said in a breathy voice, barely above a whisper, not making any sense to the confused teenager before her. "I can change everything for the better! But I can't. It will change everything!"

"What do you mean?" Selina asked shakily, a little caught out.

"What if I was meant to come here?" Estella said excitedly, resting her hands on her mother's shoulders. "What if things need changing?"

"What things, Aries?" Selina said lowly, shaking her head desperately. "What are you talking about? You're not making any sense!"

Shaking her head dismissively, Estella brought herself back down to earth. "Sorry, just having a rant. Don't worry about it. It's nothing."

"No, it is something, Aries." Selina frowned.

"Just stuff at home, really." Estella struggled to cover up her slip. "There was, just, um, some reservations about me coming here. My father and Uncle didn't particularly think it was safe. Your brother's comments just reminded me, is all."

"What change are you talking about?" Selina was not convinced.

"Just a few perspectives." Estella said distantly.

"Oh."

End Chapter: Defence Against the Dark Arts


	80. Changing Perspectives

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated Friday 27th May 2005

**Chapter Eighty: Changing Perspectives**

Severus had been tidying his classroom after the last class on the first day back from his hellish Summer. His fifth year Ravenclaw and Slytherins had just departed, and he was inexplicably drawn to a particular desk. Retrieving a abandoned set of scales that the table's previous occupant had carelessly left behind, Severus was hit with an eerie sense of de ja vu. Sitting down on the student's modest stool heavily, the weary Potions Master fought to collect himself. It had been many years since he had defiled himself into sitting in one of the uncomfortable student stools in his classroom, but of course there was once a time when it was a regular practice to him. He realised with a start that the very desk he was seated behind was one he had favoured throughout his Potions education at Hogwarts. It was far enough away from the front of the classroom to not draw unwanted attention from the teacher and yet a safe distance from the shadowy back row from which the trouble makers used to like to try and throw things into the neighbouring row's cauldrons. Most pertinently, Severus mused, it was close to the supply table; not so close that sitting there would prove a distraction on account of the thundering steps bustling to and from the students supplies, but close enough to guarantee early pickings of the best of the ingredients supplied by the school. By his juvenile calculations, it had been the optimum location to work uninhibited.

Glancing towards the empty seat at the desk directly beside him, Severus felt the ghostly burn of twinkling eyes smirking at him as their owner habitually anticipated his movements behind the cauldron, causing their hands to brush as they simultaneously reached for ingredients and tools. Rubbing his left hand at the memory, Severus glared down at the desk, willing himself to remember more than just a random sensation.

_'Just who are you really?' _His voice from his adolescence echoed through his mind suddenly as a long forgotten conversation began to play itself out in Severus' mind. Observing the scene from a third person perspective, Severus was able to draw a much clearer perspective. The rhythm and expressions of the strange newcomer to his class in fifth year were distinctly that of Estella. He didn't know how or why he didn't realise that sooner - as her skills were starting to develop. Surely something in his niece's movements should have reminded him of the girl from his past.

_'But why_?' A voice in his mind questioned him mercilessly. 'You had no reason to think the girl was from another time.'

He knew now, without a doubt, that the mysterious girl who entered into his fifth year as Aries Ollerton was his niece.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Severus whispered to the empty room, although, deep down, he already had his answer.

* * *

"Sirius! Come along, you have got to eat something! You're wasting away up there!" A desperate Remus Lupin stuck his head through the doorway of his Goddaughter's bedroom to find, predictably, the child's grieving father curled up on an armchair by the empty bed. 

Sighing, the lone wolf entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed gingerly, so as to face his friend. "I miss her too, Paddy." He confessed, his voice cracking a little. "But there's still a possibility she will come home to us! We mustn't give up hope!"

Sirius choked back a sob and wrapped his arms around the mangy looking soft toy tighter. "We left her there, Moony." He said brokenly, burying his face in the beloved toy dog's fur as though trying to extract the very essence of its owner out of it. "No one…"

"Stop it." Remus said shakily, his hands gripping either side of the armchair as he leant forward to whisper. "She stayed behind for a reason."

Glassy grey orbs shifted from the amber lights of its friend's and lingered sadly on a photograph on the bedside table behind him. It depicted a candid moment between child and Godfather.

"That should have been me." Sirius said, his voice wavering. "I had only just gotten her back!"

Strong yet gentle hands moved to comfort the gaunt, haunted man before them. "It can still be you, Sirius." Remus said encouragingly. "Don't you remember what it was like? She may not have told us who she was to us, Padfoot, but she looked up to you."

"Yes, and I threw it back in her face, didn't I?" Sirius said bitterly. "She'll hate me now!"

Remus faltered. "It was harmless fun, Sirius." He tried to reassure the fugitive. "She'll come to realise that. We were just kids, Sirius. Estella got to meet her mother, Sirius! I can't help but to think how much of a dream come true that must have been for her!"

Thin, reluctant lips, forced themselves into a wane smile. "She was happy," Sirius conceded. "I suppose I can't ask much more…"

"Don't talk in past tense like that." Remus shook his friend's forearms in frustration. "We don't know that for sure! We can't let ourselves go like this, Sirius! She'll come back, I know she will… and when she does she will need us to be strong for her! When she comes back it will hardly be easy for her to adjust to the fact that people she had, in her mind, just seen, have been dead for nearly thirteen years."

Grey eyes met amber once more. "Why didn't she tell us who she was, Remus? We could have changed things!"

"I don't know, Sirius" Remus said sadly. "I think only Dumbledore or Estella could answer that for us now."

"I just want her back, Moony." Sirius said forlornly, pulling at the loose tufts of hair on the well-loved stuffed toy absently. "I want them both back."

Sensing the need to lighten the mood, Remus forced a smile. "Why?" He asked, "so you can explain to her why you tried to set your daughter up with her Godfather?"

Sirius balked, his face turning a crimson shade of red. "I… oh bloody hell!" he wiped a hand over his face in despair. "No wonder she was so damn disinterested!"

"I never thought I'd say it, but this is one time I am actually glad that she is more stubborn than you!" Remus' lips twitched.

"Moony…" Sirius' voice broke through the comfortable silence that followed. "You… you… tell me you didn't…"

"…have dishonourable intentions towards your daughter?" Remus finished for him, shuddering slightly. Sirius nodded. "No, Sirius. I didn't."

"You didn't?" Sirius jolted in his chair. "But I… James… we…"

"You thought wrong, Paddy." Remus smirked. "I'm a werewolf, Sirius. If her words were not clear enough, then her scent was."

"But you gravitated around her! You… you…" Sirius spluttered.

"She didn't welcome romantic intentions, Sirius, but she was very welcoming to my friendship." Remus sighed. "At times I'd even swear she was more comfortable around me than even you or James."

"You can tell all that from a person's scent?" Sirius asked. Remus nodded. "Merlin, James and I really thought we were on a good thing… trying to set the two of you up."

"You sound disappointed at the failure." Said Remus. "Would you rather I did fall for her, knowing what we know now?"

"No, no, of course not!" Sirius said quickly, shaking his head violently before burying it shamefully in his hands as the realisation dawned on him. "Oh hell, I tried to set my daughter up with her Godfather!"

* * *

One downside to her selection of electives, was that Estella was in hardly any of the same subjects as her mother, Remus or Lily, who she had yet to really become acquainted with. Instead, Estella found herself in the omnipresent company of Sirius and James, two men that up until that point in her life, remained an enigma. 

"Hey Ollie," James cooed at her cockily, flaunting the use of the Marauder's nickname for her in the full knowledge that she hated it. "Lend us your History of Magic notes will you? Paddy and I fell asleep again."

"Well if you weren't up all night yesterday sneaking into the library under that cloak of yours to borrow another book about Animagi from the restricted section you wouldn't have that problem now, would you?"

"Come on, Aries, tell us how you know these things!" Sirius pleaded, once again unnerved by the girl who always seemed to know more about their activities than she let on.

"You may think you're smart, but I can read you like a book." Estella warned them. "Everyone knows if you're after a truly deceptive schemer you look towards Slytherin House. Gryffindors are utterly predictable creatures of habit… and notoriously bad at remembering to put up privacy wards when discussing their plans rather loudly in public."

"You talk as though you are an expert on house politics, and what, you've been here how long?" Sirius looked at her curiously.

"I can read, you know." Estella rolled her eyes. "If you had bothered to check, _Hogwarts: A History_ has a lengthy preamble on inter-house relations and the inbound characteristics of the respective classmen." Shaking her head at the boy's bewildered looks, she continued seriously. "News flash, gentlemen. No one is invincible! You had better clean up your game and be a little more observant if you're going to survive this war."

"Are you declaring a prank war?" James asked, confused at her inference, but altogether eager for the challenge.

"No you narrow-minded git, I'm referring to the bigger picture." Estella sighed, trying not to glare openly at Peter, who was always the silent third party in the Gryffindor's dalliances. "In case you've been too busy skiving classes and creating mischief to realise it, the Wizarding world is headed towards a war. Such arrogant notions of invincibility will only get you killed."

"We bloody well know that." Sirius snapped at her. "I have to put up with rubbish from my family every holidays, and James' dad is a Auror. We're not blind."

"Could have fooled me." She snapped back, again glaring at Peter, who shied away slightly. Oh how she wanted to confront Peter and wring his scrawny little neck! The only thing that was stopping her was not knowing exactly when he changed sides – if she hexed him without cause it might serve as the factor that motivated him to switch sides sooner; and she couldn't risk changing time like that.

"Well excuse me for wanting to actually enjoy what little we get to have of our childhood before we're enlisted to fight a ruddy war." James scowled, leering at her.

"Ok, ok." Estella sighed. "But I got to tell you, it will really help you later on if you take at least some of your classes seriously. Overcoming an enemy isn't all about Defence Against the Dark Arts you know. Now if you excuse me, I would like to finish my essay on the Muggle Television."

Two sets of eyes rolled at her.

"Honestly Ollerton." James said congenially. "You're wasting your efforts."

"Everyone knows Muggle Studies is an easy E." Sirius cut in, finishing James' sentence. "The way you apply yourself to it, I wonder why you just didn't do Ancient Runes with Selina!"

James nodded in confirmation. "Yep, a true Ravenclaw you are." He said solemnly. "Yet the only one in this class, why is that?"

Estella narrowed her eyes at the pair. "Maybe I have career aspirations in Muggle Relations." She said smarmily, before adding in a sing-song voice. "Everyone knows Ancient Runes is only good for curse breaking and charm development."

"Yeah, but that's swell." Sirius argued, rapping his knuckle on her head lightly for emphasis. "Right ol' challenge for that meaty Ravenclaw brain of yours."

"If it's so 'swell', then why don't you do it then?" Estella retorted, brushing his hand aside irritably. "I would have imagined such skills were more important to the Auror's program than Muggle Studies!"

"Ah but there you are wrong, Ollie." James drawled. "Knowing how Muggles operate is vitally important in field work."

Shaking her head in defeat, Estella grimaced at the persistent Gryffindors. "If I give you my notes will you quit bugging me and let me get back to my work?" She hissed.

"Ah you know you love us." Sirius smirked, his eyes dancing as he gave Estella a playful kiss on the cheek in thanks. "Thanks love!"

Estella handed over the copied history notes, an unreadable expression on her face as she brought her hand up to rub her flaming cheek.

"Hey! Whoa! Back up the Thestrals there!" Sirius splayed his hands out in front of him. "I didn't mean it that way!" He protested. "My heart is already bound to the life of another."

"Oh yeah, who?" James smirked, already knowing the answer.

"Why who else?" Sirius clapped his right hand over his heart stoically. "Selina and our unborn children, of course!"

Estella couldn't help but stare into her father's eyes after that comment, a far away look on her face. Merlin, Sirius must have lusted after her mother for a long while if his feelings were truly that strong for her already - the pair only having just started to date following the events of the last week of Summer at the Potter's.

"What?" Sirius asked finally, beginning to get a little unnerved by the intensity of her gaze.

"Oh, er, nothing. I just think that's, er, very noble." Estella said unconvincingly, ducking her head back down to concentrate on her essay. "Though goodness knows why Selina would want to marry you."

"Touche." Sirius grimaced, having clearly set himself up for that one, before returning to plotting the Marauder's next big prank with James and Peter, leaving Estella to procrastinate over the warring thoughts in her mind.

'Should I tell him?' She wondered, or was it just the homesickness she felt for her family back home that urged her to disclose her secret?

* * *

Sirius was in the attic of his marital home, visiting the magically altered pen that housed his gallant, winged saviour, Buckbeak. Remus and Sirius had been forced to return to his home near Kings Cross after Kreacher's reaction to Estella's disappearance. 

Ever since he had seen his daughter with the magnificent beast – and ever since said animal borne him to safety that night in the West Tower – Sirius had felt connected to the Hippogriff for not only did the two of them share a history, but the creature served as a reminder of his daughter. Sitting on the floor, leaning against the body of the slumbering crossbreed, Sirius closed his eyes and reminisced on another reason why the Hippogriff represented such a strong connection between father and daughter.

_Flashback_

_"Today class, we will be learning about Hippogriffs." The young and highly ambitious Professor Kettleburn addressed his Care of Magical Creatures class. "Now who can enlighten us on the necessary safety protocol one must employ when approaching a Hippogriff?"_

_Estella – as Aries – raised her hand enthusiastically. She was the only one who had. Professor Kettleburn's face lit up as he nodded towards Estella. "Yes, Miss Ollerton?"_

_"Hippogriffs command a great deal of respect from their allies." Estella recited. "To enter the personal space of such a creature it is advised that you bow first, much like you would before a Wizarding duel. Only when the Hippogriff bows back – accepts you – is it safe to step forth."_

_"Well done Aries! Five points to Ravenclaw. Would you care to demonstrate to the class?" Professor Kettleburn urged, smiling brightly at his student's enthusiastic nod. "Hagrid, if you could call the Hippogriff?"_

_Rubeus Hagrid, Hogwarts' gamekeeper, whistled deeply, summoning the Hippogriff. A few short moments later and the air was rippling with the sound of flapping wings as a magical half-horse, half-eagle creature gracefully swept towards the ground, coming to a stop in the clearing in front of the class._

_"Class, meet Emeritus. Aries, if you would like to step forward."_

_The girl in question strode forward with familiar ease, not hesitating at all before going through the motions of earning the imposing creature's trust. Sirius had watched the interplay between the unassuming girl in awe – as daring as he considered himself, he knew he wouldn't be able to do the same thing without reassurance. Not when it involved a creature he was so unversed in._

_"Bloody hell!" James whistled lowly from his place at Sirius' side. "Looks like Ollie's got a bit of Gryffindor in her."_

_The pair watched on as their friend stroked the Hippogriff's mane and whispered unheard words in its ear._

_"Would you like to ride him?" Professor Kettleburn asked, rubbing his hands together hopefully. "Compare the natural agility of a creature of the sky to the skill of one of your father's brooms, perhaps?"_

_At this, the girl at the centre of the class' attentions faltered, her hand pausing on the Hippogriff's mane. Her back straightening in apparent alarm, the child turned slowly to answer her teacher._

_"Uh, alright." She said, with a hesitancy that belied her prior confidence as she shot Sirius and James a unreadable look. It was not until many years later that the black dog animagus was to realise that her discomfort was not borne of a fear of the animal, but rather the reluctance to perpetuate the lie shielding her true identity._

_Professor Kettleburn, meanwhile, was eying the student's reaction thoughtfully. "Perhaps another volunteer would like to accompany Miss Ollerton on her voyage…" He said wistfully, his eyes scanning the group of students. "Ah, Mr Black. This would be right up your alley I imagine."_

_Sirius nodded astutely, flashing the girl he did not yet know to be his daughter a reassuring smile. "I'd be delighted to." He said gentlemanly, as he mirrored the other student's actions in dealing with the Hippogriff, not wanting to decline and be outdone by a girl._

_"You'll take care of us, won't you, fella?" Sirius whispered in the Hippogriff's ear, his eyes locking with Estella's, who was already on the creature's back; before accepting his teacher's help in mounting the stead._

_Grasping hold of Estella's waist with his strong, Quidditch-playing hands, he tightened his hold as the Hippogriff took to flight. Oblivious to the real nature of the girl's rigidity, he held her closer, and lowered his head to rest by her ear._

_"Don't worry." He said, willing the girl in his arms to relax. "I won't let you go, I promise. James would hardly take so kindly to being splattered with brain matter from the fall."_

_End Flashback._

Sirius' eyes flew open with a fresh dew of moisture splattering his lashes. He just had to be an ass and say that to her, didn't he? How could he be so stupid? Knowing just how much of a big deal it was for his little girl to get in the air like that, the ramifications of what that imagery would have done to her made him physically ill. It was the last think she'd needed to hear, especially from him. He could only hope she had taken it as the foolish joke of a fifteen year old idiot and not hold it against him as her father.

There, in his place leaning against Emeritus' descendent, Sirius could almost still feel the comforting form of his daughter as she had cocooned herself between him and the hippogriff for dear life. Of course he didn't know at the time that he was her father, but she knew, and she accepted his presence; and that's all that mattered. On a subconscious level, Sirius was even willing to admit that perhaps he knew all along that he and the mysterious 'Aries Ollerton' shared some kind of bond; for ever since he had first seen her, he had felt drawn to her. Not drawn to her by way of some kind of physical attraction or superficial interest in what she could charm his broom to do, but rather her presence awoke an unacknowledged, dormant protective instinct in him.

A distinctively paternal instinct.

Sirius shuddered in light of his solitude and wrapped his arms around himself tightly. He didn't know what was worse, having gone twelve years without ever holding his daughter or having held her when he was not of mind to truly appreciate it.

* * *

"Aries!" Sirius sat down heavily next to his Transfiguration partner as he found her scowling angry over an essay for said subject in the library after class. "Have I done something wrong? I feel like you've been avoiding me since that Hippogriff ride. You were completely out of it all lesson." 

Turning her attention away from the Transfiguration textbook to look her father in the eye tiredly, Estella sighed. "It's nothing, Sirius." She said quietly. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me." Sirius replied challengingly. "I don't know what it is about you, but I want to look out for you, you know?"

"I've noticed." Estella admitted tightly. "And it's appreciated. It's just… strange… being around… around… so many people."

"Right, after being home schooled all that time." Sirius confirmed, his eyes narrowing when Estella nodded, her mood still in murky waters.

"Aries?" Sirius asked, his brow furrowed in concern. "Did… did Selina say something to you? Is she mad at me for some reason? I… I haven't led you on or something have I? You know that I like Selina, right? We hooked up over Summer… you were there…"

Rubbing her eyes wearily, Estella glanced back at her inquisitive father. Her strange behaviour since the incident on the Hippogriff had not gone unnoticed, and it appeared he was not going to let it go without a satisfactory explanation. Loathe to reveal herself to him right there, Estella had to think of something else, and fast.

"I suffer from vertigo, Sirius." Estella snapped. "Do you know what that means?"

"Uh, vaguely." Sirius said, confused about where this was going. "Oh, shite… and you got up on that Hippogriff?"

"Yes, yes I did, Sirius." Estella said. "And as if that wasn't terrifying enough I had some impulsive Gryffindor fill my head with imagery of my brain splattering all over the forest floor."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know heights freaked you out so much." Sirius said sincerely. "It was just a joke."

"I… I know." Estella conceded. "It just awoke an old fear."

"Well maybe I can make it up to you one day." Sirius said. "You shouldn't have to hide from your fears."

The look Estella gave him after that caused the young Gryffindor to look away. Averting his eyes to the parchment of crossed out sentences and angry red marks, he frowned at the Transfiguration text. "Trouble in Transfiguration?" He asked suddenly.

"I hate this. It's my worst subject." Estella admitted ashamedly. "I can't seem to get it right… but you should know that, you've had to put up with me all term."

"I've seen your wandwork." Her Transfiguration partner frowned. "Your hand action is well-refined and your incantations are clear." He looked down at the parchment. "Perhaps you need to work on your visualisation."

"Visualisation?"

Sirius nodded. "When you try and transfigure something into another thing, what do you picture in your mind?" He made himself more comfortable in his chair and started waving his hands around in emphasis. "Do you, like, try and transfigure the item to look like something that actually exists, like something you know and have memorised?"

Estella nodded.

"Then you're doing it wrong." Sirius said simply, leaning back in his chair with a smug grin on his face.

"Oh well, obviously!" Estella scowled at him. "And that's supposed to help me, how?"

"I don't know." Sirius smirked. "Ask me for help and I'll consider it."

Estella narrowed her eyes at her future father haughtily, her first instinct to turn him out won over instead by her natural desire to learn. Inwardly, she recalled one of her father's earliest comments to her about wanting to be responsible for teaching her something she didn't know. And so, she indulged his pompous, fifteen year old self.

"Will you please help me with my Transfiguration?" Estella asked in a exaggerated pleading tone.

"No need to sound so desperate!" Sirius smirked. "I would have settled for a exclamation of 'Help!'"

"I think I'll leave the exclamations of help to the Beatles." Estella muttered. Sirius looked at her funny. "Oh, nothing… just give me a hand, will you?"

Reading through her heavily vexed notes quickly and announcing them useless, Sirius screwed up the piece of paper and presented Estella with a fresh, new page.

"All you got to do is picture it in your mind." Sirius said simply. "Don't base it on a memory of whatever you're trying to transfigure – use your imagination."

"I don't understand." Estella screwed up her face in frustration. "How are you supposed to transfigure anything if you don't have at least some memory or knowledge of what the item you are aiming for looks like?"

"Well there is that." Sirius said. "But you're trying too hard! Embellish a little! A pincushion doesn't have to be a clone of the example McGonagall shows us in class! If you didn't catch what all the details were, then fill in the gaps yourself. So long as the general purpose of the item is the same, she's not going to care if you've added a personal touch by adding flying snitches to it or changed the colour. Just make sure there's no trace of the original item in it."

"But… but…" Estella faltered. Had she been trying too hard to replicate perfect copies that she had overlooked the entire point?

"No buts, Aries!" Sirius wagged his finger at her before stabbing it down on the blank piece of parchment. "How do you think a Wizard transfigures something they've never seen? They think about what they need it for, then use their imaginations to define a object that could be used for that purpose."

"But that won't help me in class." Estella groaned. "McGonagall marks us on our ability to replicate.."

"Yes because we get to see what we are to transfigure." Sirius rolled his eyes. "She doesn't expect us to make perfect copies… that comes with time… but you have to at least demonstrate that you can visualise the item in your mind and channel it in your casting. She's said as much in class, don't you listen?" He handed her wand to her from where she had sat it beside her book. "Why don't you give it a go."

"You don't really make much sense." Estella shook her head, she was still having a difficult time reconciling the 'nice' Professor McGonagall she had now to the demanding one she'd had to contend with since first year; and not knowing which of the two teachings to follow. "I don't see how…"

"Just… look." Sirius said, holding up her quill, waving it in front of her face before hiding it. "Now describe what you would think in your mind if you were going to transfigure this piece of parchment here into a quill."

"Well I would try and think of his length… its colour…" Estella furrowed her brow.

"That's all wrong! You're detracting away from what it actually is… which is a quill!" Sirius shook his head in frustration. "Look, Aries, think of it this way. I'm asking you to tell me what you think of when I say the word 'quill'."

A pause.

"You want me to answer?"

"No, I'm sitting in silence for my health." Sirius drawled. "Now go on, 'quill'."

"Writing instrument… feather… it has a nib…" Estella ran off.

"What, no description of colour?" Sirius threw back at her, his eyes knowing. "Picture what you just pictured in your head when I said the word quill just now; and try to transfigure that parchment into that."

Estella did what Sirius suggested and successfully transfigured her parchment into a glossy black quill – incidentally identical to one she knew her Uncle in the future favoured at his desk, which had been most pointedly embedded into her mind as what she associated with the word 'quill'. Sure, it did not look identical to the quill Sirius had taken from her desk, but it was a mostly functional quill and looked nothing like the piece of parchment it had once been.

"Wow." Estella said, gingerly picking up the quill that her mind had constructed and inspecting it closely as though to determine if it was real. "I'd only ever managed to transfigure a stodgy replica of my quill's feather before. This at least has something of a nib."

"That's because you focused too much on the incidentals." Sirius informed her. Taking the quill from her and testing it out. "There, now this is getting somewhere."

"But wouldn't I get marked down for getting the colour of the feather wrong?" Estella frowned.

"Estella, when McGonagall marks us, she looks to see if we can change a piece of parchment into a quill. What we see as a example is just an example… to help people who, say, have never seen a quill, or whatever the object may be, before." Sirius explained. "If anyone has taught you differently… telling you that you have to make a perfect duplicate… Merlin, it's no wonder you're stunted."

Estella frowned. When she had first started Transfiguration she had a pretty handy knack of it… but her objects were never quite like their models, with subtle changes to colour etc. McGonagall always chose to come down on her for it; stating that she'd had more of an advantage over the other students (living at the school and doing magic before her time) and so she had to expect her to do better. As time progressed and Estella became so wrapped up in concentrating on all the little details, she lost sight of the bigger picture and was unable to transfigure her items to even function like they should – a little red matchstick was rendered as useful as a toothpick, and her matchbox became a solid box with no match drawer… but for all intensive purposes they looked like a perfect copy of the example matchstick/box.

"My old teacher gave me the impression that if it wasn't a perfect copy then it wasn't a successful transfigurement." Estella scowled, thinking of how much more difficult the Gryffindor housemistress had made it for her. "If I had produced a quill like that in class she would have chewed my head off about not making it the exact same as my example quill."

"Wench." Sirius scowled. "Didn't she realise that you were just a student? Only fully trained Wizards who specialise in Transfiguration can be expected to pull off a perfect replica every time! No wonder you cracked under the pressure. If I knew who this woman was I'd prank her for you…"

"Ah well, guess you will just have to prank McGonagall instead." Estella suggested hopefully.

"Like I need an excuse." Said Sirius, smiling wryly.

End Chapter: Changing Perspectives


	81. Familial Relations

Disclaimer: See Chapter One.

Updated Friday 27th May 2005

**Chapter Eighty One: Familial Relations**

"I meant it, you know." Sirius said softly as he cornered Estella out of the blue in the Astronomy Tower several days later.

"Meant what?" Estella replied distractedly as she fiddled with the telescope in front of her, uncomfortable in her future-father's presence.

"That day after Transfiguration." Sirius continued, standing so close behind her now that she could feel his breath on the back of her neck, causing the little hairs there to stand on end. "I know you know what I am talking about."

"You have amazing recall for someone who can't even remember what homework Professor Stollard set three hours ago." Estella retorted, lowering her head to look through the eye piece of the telescope – anything to get her mind away from the awkward position she was in.

"Ah well you know…" Sirius drawled, moving to lean against the windowsill next to her so he could look at her face. "A guy like me tends to remember when a member of the opposite sex shows no interest in fawning over him."

"You are so full of yourself." Estella scoffed, avoiding his gaze as she noted some of her observations on the star chart she had sprawled out in front of her. "What are you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Sirius said gently, "I wanted to make sure we were square about what happened with the Hippogriff."

"Fine, as I've repeatedly told you, Sirius, we're square, alright? Leave me alone so I can do my homework!" Estella cried, her voice cracking in frustration as she tore herself away from Sirius.

"I can't do that." Sirius whispered softly, but firmly.

"Sirius, what on earth are you up to?" Estella spun around to face the marauding teen warily.

"It's such a travesty that a girl your lineage isn't in the air." Sirius said wistfully, before looking at her intently. "I want to make things up to you."

"What?" Estella snapped, reeling at his prior comment.

"I want to see you flying on a broomstick." Sirius said firmly. "I saw how much you enjoyed flying on that Hippogriff."

"Sirius, I was terrified I was going to fall." Estella clarified.

"Only because I had said what I said!" Sirius protested. "You've flown a Hippogriff before though, haven't you?"

"What makes you think that?" Estella asked shakily, not willing to deny it.

"If you were so afraid of falling off a Hippogriff you would never have volunteered." Sirius stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh you just think you have me all figured out, don't you Sirius!" Estella drawled, returning her attentions to her star chart. "Fine, I won't deny it. I have flown a Hippogriff before that lesson."

"I knew it!" Sirius crowed triumphantly. "So tell me, and don't lie, or I'll know… did you enjoy it?"

"Yes." Estella said timidly. "How could I not?"

"Then that's settled then." Sirius said conspiringly. "I'm going to help you overcome your vertigo."

"I'm not getting on a broom, Sirius." Estella said warningly.

"We'll see." Sirius said, before leaving.

* * *

Some twenty years later, the lone man shivered from his place in the darkened Astronomy Tower. He had just come from sneaking in a visit to his Godson and was about to leave the school when he'd felt the indescribable pull to the deserted tower. Overcome by the nature of the memories that flooded through his veins, Sirius leant against the wall and slid into heap on the floor; his body wracking with sobs. 

"Sirius?" A worried voice whispered into the thin ain of the room. Moments later a cloak was removed to reveal a mop of scruffy black hair and concerned emerald eyes peering at him from behind wire-rimmed glasses. "You forgot your cloak, so I followed you up here… what's wrong?"

Sirius unburied his head from his hands and looked at his godson hopelessly. "I miss her, Harry."

Harry lowered himself to sit next to his Godfather, and spread out the Marauder's Map on his raised knees so as to forewarn them of any unwanted company. "She'll be back, Sirius. I know she will." Harry said determinedly. Harry had, of course, been told about the true nature of Estella's disappearance. He, along with Dumbledore and of course those present that fateful day, were the only ones aware of Estella's sojourn to the past. Having never lost anyone – anyone he could readily remember – the reluctant boy-who-lived did not know how to act around his despondent fugitive guardian; nor could he be wholly certain that Estella would come back. That was a question not even Dumbledore had been able to answer.

"I'm sorry Harry." Sirius said, wiping his nose on his sleeve in a valiant attempt to compose himself. "You shouldn't have to see this."

"That's alright." Harry said aloofly, leaning in a bit closer to his Godfather, both for warmth and comfort. Part of him was slightly jealous that fate had bestowed upon Estella the unique opportunity to travel back through time and see her dead mother – and his dead parents. Whilst Estella had many people pining and yearning for her return in this, her rightful time, Harry doubted there would be as much fanfare if he were to have been the one who disappeared.

As though he had read the boy's mind, Sirius broke the silence. "Estella got to know your parents, Harry." Sirius mused quietly, his mind far away in a forgotten memory. "As much as I want my daughter back, Harry, I want to spare her the heartache that she will come home to."

There was a pregnant pause.

"It would be… intense." Harry struggled to elaborate, though he was no longer as envious of Estella's position as he once was.

"She used to play a game with Lily and Selina, where they would sit and try and predict what each other's future children would be like – they liked to make a mockery of the Divination Professor. I guess from that she indirectly told them all about the young man you have become, you know." Sirius continued, with a slight smile on his face. "They may not have acknowledged Estella's authority on the matter, but your parents got a glimpse of you."

The pair sat in a comfortable silence as a unfamiliar warmth welled in Harry's stomach. Even though he may never have known his parents himself, they, on some level, got to know him.

"That must have been really frustrating for her. Knowing that she had the knowledge to change the future but was powerless to do anything about it." Harry said, his head hanging heavily on his neck.

Sirius' face hardened. "There was a way." He said in low tones, his voice cracking. "I don't think she was planning on coming back."

* * *

"Youngest seeker in a century!" James exclaimed in awe for the millionth time that week as they played the little 'divining' game Aries had devised to try and predict what their future children would be like. "Do you hear that, Paddy? Aries' reckons my future son will be a Quidditch champion!" 

"That's all we need." Selina added, rolling her eyes. "Another generation of Potters strutting around the school acting like they own the place. Heaven's Aries, you have one hell of an imagination! Where on earth do you get this stuff?"

"I don't strut!" James exclaimed defensively. "And nor will my son!"

"Great, so another Quidditch obsessed jock that chases girls around the school on his broom…" Lily drawled, looking at Sirius pointedly.

"HEY!" Sirius spluttered, offended. "There's nothing wrong with that! How else was I supposed to meet the love of my life?"

Selina blushed and groaned. "I don't know, but whatever you did, you appear to have befuddled my mind." She said, her lips curling into a trademark Snape smirk. "Sometimes I don't know what I am thinking!"

At that, Sirius leaned close and whispered in Selina's ear, causing her blush to darken even more. Uncomfortable at the horrible imagery the sight of her parents flirting stirred in her mind, Estella forced herself to concentrate on the hopeful faces of the future Mr and Mrs Potter – a point of fact that neither party were yet aware of since they still regarded each other as the acquaintances of mutual friends; with Lily turning down her nose at James' self-involved attempts to get her attention.

"Alright, alright, it's my turn!" Lily squealed excitedly, drawing Sirius and Selina's attentions away from each other. "Let me see… Selina and I will invariably be pregnant around the same time." She started, her young adolescent mind brewing romantic notions of happily ever afters and domestic bliss. "We'll be married to sensible, mature, hard working, honourable men."

"Guess that rules out anyone in this room, sorry Sirius." Selina sniggered, both girls giggling at the indignant looks the boys were giving them.

"Lily, you'll have a boy, and I'll have a girl." Selina continued. "That way our children will have a brother or sister figure without us having to give birth more than once."

"Quite right." Lily nodded her head in agreement. "And you had better make me Godmother."

"Done." Selina nodded, giggling at the absurdity of the game.

Almost unnoticeable in the corner of their little circle, Peter's mind was struggling to piece together an illusive puzzle. The wistful look on the new girl's face as the girls played the game of her invention aroused his suspicions; but it was something he couldn't quite put his finger on. It would be another 19 years before the pieces would finally come together for him.

* * *

Severus Snape was on a mission. He was going to kill Sirius Black. 

"You fool! You arrogant, boastful, cocky son of a whore!" Severus spat as he rounded on the bane of his ire in the hallway of the man's home and hideaway, which had been linked to the school by special Portkey in case of emergency.

"Well hello, Sev." Sirius drawled, barely keeping his temper in check. "Nice to see you, too."

"I never gave you much store for brains, Black, but you've really outdone yourself now."

"Severus, as much as I would like to continue this nostalgic little tete et tete, I have more pressing issues to deal with today." Sirius said with false sincerity as he pulled himself clear of his brother-in-law's grasp. "What in Merlin's name am I supposed to have done to vex you now?"

"Pettigrew!" Severus spat, his dark mark eliciting a phantom burn in reproach. "You just had to indulge Estella her hypothetical musings about the future in front of that traitorous piece of entrails. Now Malfoy knows!"

Panic overwhelming his features, Sirius Black cursed.

End Chapter: Familial Relations


	82. Birthdays, Bludgers and Blunders

Disclaimer: See Chapter One

Updated: Wednesday 1st June 2005

**Chapter Eighty Two: Birthdays, Bludgers and Blunders**

The boys had managed to master the art of the Animagus transformation early in the Fall term after having worked towards achieving their forms for the better part of three years.

"You really ought to learn how to become a animagus." Sirius whispered to her conspiringly as he joined her briefly at the Ravenclaw table, where she sat alone. "How often do you get three fully capable Animagi to learn from?"

"Three _illegal_ and _unregistered_ Animagi you mean." Estella clarified.

"Hey we've been through this. You swore the Oath." Sirius admonished, frowning slightly. By all definition, the Marauders had been wary against telling the new girl of their ability and about Remus' condition; but after a few compromising situations, they had no choice but to trust her with the information. Not only had the strange new Ravenclaw girl stumbled across a few truths on her own, but she was highly cluey and would likely have figured it out for herself before long anyway.

"It's for a good cause." He continued.

"Relax Padfoot. I'm having you on." Estella grinned slightly. Even though the Marauders had only just managed to successfully complete their transformations, they had known what their forms were going to be and given themselves nicknames accordingly back in second year. "I just prefer my sleep over gallivanting around the forest at all hours of the night."

"Do me a favour and meet me on the Quidditch pitch at 3pm tomorrow." Sirius said suddenly, leaping from where he had straddled the bench at the Ravenclaw table.

"Why?" Estella asked, absently thinking that Gryffindor Quidditch practice wasn't on tomorrow.

"Come, and you'll find out." Sirius said grinning like a Seeker who had just caught the snitch at the World Cup. "You'll love it."

Then, with a pat on the top of Estella's head, Sirius was gone.

Curious about what her father had in store for her, Estella complied and waited for her father in the designated spot the following day.

"Ahoy below!" Sirius shouted from above her as he swooped down to land his broom at her side, his freshly windswept hair smelling of adventure. "Ready to give it a go?"

"Give what a go?" Estella asked warily. "What's going on here?"

"Come on, we got your broom from your trunk and everything." James added as he landed on Estella's other side. "Surely you can figure out what we're going to do."

"Trust us, Aries." Remus spoke, appearing alongside them carrying another broomstick besides her own. "We may joke around, but we wouldn't do anything to hurt anyone."

Looking pointedly at Sirius and thinking of the time he'd gone too far – leading her uncle to the shrieking shack – Estella trembled.

"No." She protested, pulling back against the grip Sirius and James had lightly assumed on either arm. "I don't want to do this. I told you."

"Aries." Sirius said exasperatingly. "We're only trying to help. Help you overcome this irrational fear."

"People fly brooms all the time." Peter added. Where had he sprung from? "Statistics show that brooms are safer than Flooing!"

"Not to mention more people get splinched each year trying to apparate than those who die falling off broomsticks!" James threw in, squeezing her arm in encouragement. "Besides, my Dad's always saying in class how important it is to be resourceful. What would happen in a battle situation if your only safe way of retreating was on a broom? You would stay and get captured?"

"But I don't want to do this! Not now, I'm not ready." Estella pleaded weakly. "You can't just spring this on me!"

"It's the best way to do it!" Sirius stressed. "If I had told you why I wanted you to come here, you wouldn't have even come this far!"

"Don't make me hex you, Sirius." Estella growled, reaching for her wand only to find that it wasn't there. "What the hell?"

"Looking for this?" James flashed her wand in front of her eyes, the sneaky teen having secreted it from her person in a sophisticated act of misdirection. Then, to her horror, he mounted his broom and took off. "You want it back, you'll have to catch me first."

"What? No!" Estella froze, increasingly vulnerable in the presence of four physically superior boys now she no longer had the protection of her wand. "Remus, I can't believe you are going along with this!"

"Why, I happen to think Sirius has a point." Said werewolf looked at her empathetically. "Come on, we'll all be with you. There's no way you'll fall. We won't let you."

"Deep down you want to do this." Sirius looked at her appraisingly. "If you didn't, you would have left to get a teacher's attention by now."

"Damn you, Sirius." Estella spat, hating that the cocky Gryffindor was right.

"Some day you'll thank me." He said, ignoring the vehemence of her tone as he held out her broom.

"Fine." Estella grumbled, eager to get her wand back and knowing inwardly that she probably would thank her father one day for this cruel-to-be-kind approach. "Let's get this over and done with."

Estella wasn't sure how, but before she knew it she was airborne. Sure enough, her knuckles were white as she held on for dear life, but the more she just allowed herself to absorb the sensation, the more she came to realise that the broom was imbued with cushioning charms that made it feel like there was more than just a flimsy stick of wood keeping her up. Experimentally, Estella mimicked the actions of her escorts as they flew at three points around her, close enough to swoop in and assist her if she needed help. Gradually, Estella felt comfortable in the air, the fear of falling slowly leaving her. Pretty soon, she was testing the limitations of her protoype model – its vast advances in speed and agility compensating for her lack of experience as she fumbled after James on his slower model.

"Give me back my wand, Potter." She shouted, possessed with a sudden sense of liberation as she flew off towards him, leaving a stunned threesome in her wake.

"You were right, Sirius." Remus said, pulling up to a stop to hover next to his friend. "She was born to fly."

"Of course she was born to fly." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Look who she has for family!"

"Let's join in." Peter suggested, finally getting control of his broom – Wormtail was a extremely poor flier. "I think Prongs could do with the help."

Watching in awe as the determined guise of Aries gained on their seeker friend, the three boys exchanged a glance.

"Pity she's not in Gryffindor, hey Padfoot." Remus gawked. "You and her would make unbeatable Chasers."

"If that's the case, we should see if Ollerton can catch." Sirius smirked, a playful glint in his eyes. "Who's up for a game of keep away?"

At that, the three boys shot off towards James, keen to keep Aries up in the air as long as possible.

* * *

Two sets of eyes shared a meaningful look as they watched the first task play out. Harry had just summoned his broom – the Firebolt Sirius had secretly given him for Christmas – and he was now expertly manoeuvring around the converted Quidditch pitch with practiced ease. 

In his animagus form, all but one man was blind to the tears trickling from his sad grey eyes, soaking the dark fur on his face. All but one man was oblivious to the memory that caused his bittersweet heart to ache.

Looking down at his fugitive friend knowingly, Remus Lupin sighed. Patting the dog on the head comfortingly, he too, had to fight back the tears that threatened to blur his vision of the boy flying before them.

"She'll be alright." Remus whispered softly so only the dog could hear him above the cheers that erupted through the stand. Harry had just caught the egg. Under his ministrations, he could feel the dog's head nod in agreement. "We'll get her back."

Together, the pair continued to watch in silence as the champions were scored and awarded their points. Memories of that day when Sirius had pranked his daughter into overcoming her fear of vertigo brought with it the painful reminder that their best friend, James, had never been able to see his son on a broom, let alone teach him to fly.

* * *

Back in time, Estella was having fun trying to retrieve her wand from the malevolent reflexes of the Marauders. In all the harmless fun, she had all but forgotten she was fifty feet up in the air, and she was thoroughly enjoying the sense of freedom being in control of her own flight path – something riding a animal could not afford. It was indescribably better than flying on the back of a winged beast. 

Down below, dark obsidian eyes viewed the scene from a starkly different perspective. Many times, Severus Snape had been subject to taunts and ridicule from the four Gryffindors as they stole something from him like a book or a potions vial and he wasn't fast enough to get it from them as they tossed it around to each other. While seeing another student at the receiving end of their mirth relieved him somewhat, it also made him bubble with fury. Who did they think they were to strut around the school terrorising the students?

Exhibiting a demeanour he would not yet perfect for several years to come, Severus Snape crossed the field towards the Broom shed with long, purposeful strides. Summoning himself a competent looking school broom, Severus kicked off from the ground angrily and stealthily made his way towards the leering Gryffindors.

"Leave her alone." He shouted at them, his wand levelled. Severus could not think of why he was coming to the assistance of the illusive new fifth year, but then again, the girl was a pureblood and quite skilled academically - in Potions at least; and so it would serve him well to direct such a resource away from the corrupting influences of McGonagall's golden protégés. If he had it his way he would just hex them and be done with it, but he knew he held no favour in the school's judicial process and so to act so unprovoked in front of witnesses would only land him in inextricable trouble. Not to mention he was presently out numbered and it would be crazy to throw the first hex.

"Who the hell do you think you are, Snivellus?" James spat back at him. "Mind your own bloody business."

"Yeah, Snape." Remus snapped half heartedly. "Stop interrupting our game."

"I hardly think a game of keep away that is depriving a young girl of her wand is universally enjoyable for all parties." Severus glared.

"Oh but that's where you're wrong, Snivellus." Sirius leered. "Aries here is having a grand old time, aren't you?"

Her eyes locking with the dark pools of her future uncle's fiery stare, Estella could only nod weakly. "It's not what it looks like." She assured him. "We're just having a laugh." At that she caught up to a stilled James and took her wand back from his pliable hand. "See, I could get my wand back at anytime. Thanks for your concern though, I do appreciate it."

"Yeah, thanks for your concern, Snivellus." James and Sirius mocked. "Now sod off."

Blinded by his contempt for the two ring leaders of the marauding Gryffindors, Severus glared at Estella coldly, mistaking her honest gratitude for mockery.

"I don't know why I bother." Severus scowled, along with a few other choice words directed Estella's way before turning his back to them and making to swoop back down to earth; looking for all the world like a flying bat.

"I don't think we should let him get away with that, do you?" James cocked his head to Sirius, the two minds aligned in thought.

"After you, dear Prongs." Sirius grinned wickedly, his wand suddenly in his hand.

Realising what they were about to do – cast Merlin knows what at the retreating back of Severus – Estella sprung into action.

"No!" She yelled, flying into the path of James' body binding spell, the effects of the spell causing Estella to relinquish all control over her broom.

* * *

When Estella next awoke, she was in the infirmary. 

"What happened?" She asked a much younger version of Madame Pomfrey – the newly appointed medi-witch in this time.

"You fell from your broom." Madame Pomfrey tutted at the child. "When will you children learn that flying and wand play do not mix?"

The memories rushed back to her.

'There's no way you'll fall. We won't let you.' Estella scoffed at Remus' remembered words. So much for that promise.

"You must be feeling awful, spending Halloween in the infirmary!" The nurse continued, all the while fussing over her bedclothes and pillows. "You've been asleep now for three days!"

"What happened?" Estella rubbed her forehead in confusion. She didn't feel injured.

"You appear to have protected yourself from harm using your magic." The nurse explained, furrowing her brow at a chart at the end of Estella's bed. "Accidental magic. Very unusual for a child your age."

"It's that why I feel so whipped?" Estella asked.

"Your magic was severely exhausted." Madame Pomfrey explained. "Oh don't worry child, it's nothing permanent. You just needed to sleep it off. I'm sure you will be able to join your classmates tomorrow."

"You said it was unusual for a child my age to do accidental magic?" Estella questioned, thinking for some reason that there was simply more to her injuries.

"Well if a wizard can't control their magic by the time they reach magical maturity, a unbidden burst of power could have disastrous effects." Madame Pomfrey explained gravely. "The shock could kill a person."

"But I've been using a wand since I was very small, how can I not have control?" Estella frowned.

"I suspect you do have control." Professor Dumbledore said, appearing from behind a curtain to stand at the child's bedside. "Your magic seems to have a very intuitive sense of self-preservation. Tell me child, did you encounter any close encounters with death in your youth?"

"Several." Estella admitted, not willing to give details. The old man had, after all, insisted not to be told about things that happened in the future, though she was triumphant to see the unbidden curiosity in his blue eyes. "But if I still have such outbursts, aren't I a danger to myself?"

"No." Dumbledore assured her. "When I said that I suspected you do have control, I meant it. You may not consciously be aware that you are calling on your magic to protect yourself, child, but your body knows intuitively how much it can withstand. As such I do not feel you are at risk of depleting your life force."

"But Madame Pomfrey said I was asleep for days, isn't that a disadvantage?" Estella was at a loss.

"Ah, but you see, my child; it was much better than the alternative." The headmaster informed her gravely. "Your friends tell me you fell from quite a height."

Estella's eyes widened. "Please, Professor, don't expel them! It was an accident!" She pleaded, terrified that her presence in this time was going to change things for the future in a negative way.

"Don't worry, child." Dumbledore assured her. "Contrary to the express opposition I have from some, I prefer to allow my students to learn from their own mistakes. I did not find it necessary to punish your friends anymore than they are punishing themselves right now."

"Are they alright?" Estella asked.

"Yes, quite." Albus replied, the twinkle in his eye dancing knowingly. "I took the liberty of suggesting to them that you may benefit from a get well gift… so they have been demonstrably preoccupied finding you something suitable."

"You told them that because it's really my birthday, didn't you?" Estella looked at the headmaster knowingly. "Thank you."

"Far be it for a child to be unable to acknowledge her birthday in some way." Albus replied, winking. "Incidentally, I also told them that I will be requiring much of Poppy's time this afternoon. I do not suspect she will be back until some time after curfew."

Estella smiled at the scheming old headmaster knowingly and bid him farewell, deciding to rest some more before her friends snuck in to see her later that evening.

Sure enough, a little after the Halloween Feast had started, the four Marauders had appeared bearing trays of food and gifts.

"Hey Aries," Sirius said casually as she sat down slowly on the edge of her bed. "Um, we're really sorry for what happened."

"Yeah." James added, nudging a tray of food in her direction. "It's really good to see you up."

"You really should eat, build your strength." Remus encouraged her.

"Tell me guys," Estella stared at them all levelly in turn. "Would you be going to all this effort if it had been Severus who fell?"

"Serves him right if he had, he had no business being up there." Sirius scowled under his breath, yelping when James nudged him forcefully. "Honestly, Aries, we didn't mean for anyone to get hurt. Not even Snivellus."

"He has a name." Estella reminded them darkly.

"Sorry, sorry." James said soothingly. "When I threw that hex at Severus I figured he wouldn't be hurt because he was almost on the ground. Just wanted to see him make an arse of himself and fall, that's all I swear!"

"Merlin Aries, you fell so fast and so hard!" Remus' voice was trembling slightly.

"You were just lying there, not moving at all!" Peter squeaked.

"I don't think I'd ever seen Sirius land that quickly." James gushed. "I thought he was going to crash, he was in such a hurry. We all were."

"We were so relieved to see you were still breathing!" Remus confessed. "But when did you didn't wake up for the longest time…"

"I was so scared." Sirius said quietly.

Estella narrowed her eyes. "Were you scared for me, or scared at what the headmaster would do to you for being so stupid?"

"Scared for you, of course." Sirius snapped back defensively. "Merlin knows we deserved to be expelled. I for one wouldn't have complained."

"Nor would I." James affirmed. "I was surprised as anything when Dumbledore let us off."

"Snape wasn't too happy about it!" Peter gloated.

"He was fully expecting us to be expelled." James interjected.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say he has a thing for you." Remus said, his brow in a knot.

"He better not have! You deserve someone better than that." Sirius growled.

Her eyes catching Peter's as Sirius professed his almost protective urges towards her, she could have sworn she saw the rat animagus flinch.

'What's up with that?' she wondered absently as her gaze fell to a stack of presents at the end of her bed.

"Oh yeah, we, er, bought you some things." Sirius said awkwardly. "Get well gifts."

"To show you how sorry we are." James added.

"Where are Lily and Selina?" Estella asked, curious. She hadn't had much chance to get to know her mother, let alone her godmother, but surely they would have asked after her.

"They didn't want to come." Remus shook his head sadly. Estella frowned.

"They seem to think we are only trying to buy your forgiveness." Sirius signed

"Aren't you?" Estella teased, quirking a brow, her initial fear that the girls didn't care to visit her vanishing.

"We thought you could do with cheering up." James said, his eyes downcast. "We didn't want your first experience on a broom to be all a bad memory, you know?"

"Do you think you'll fly again?" Sirius asked hopefully. "You were really rather good once you got going, and it wasn't just because of the broom."

"My broom!" She said suddenly, thinking back to what happened when Harry had fallen off his broom and worried how the Ollerton's may feel about their prototype being destroyed. "Is it alright?"

"It's fine." Sirius assured her. "Prongs here has been obsessive compulsively polishing it every five seconds for you, but other than that it's fine."

Next to him, James blushed. "I, er…" He faltered. "How about we give Aries her presents?"

Habitually, Estella's eyes fell on Remus first. For many years she was so accustomed to only receiving gifts from he and Severus, it seemed natural to look to him first.

"Uh, here." Remus said awkwardly, his hand reaching over to pluck a small brick-like shape from the pile, which he then handed her.

"I hope you like it." He added as she opened the package to reveal a block of Honeyduke's finest chocolate.

'Some things never change.' Estella sighed sadly, but for outward appearances laughing, as she thought back to the older Remus' addiction to the creamy sweet.

_'It always pays to carry some on you.'_ Remus' voice from a early duelling lesson echoed through her head. When she had walked into their makeshift classroom to learn that Chocolate was on the order of the day she had thought the man had been kidding, but he was anything but. _'You never know when you may find yourself without food or water; and chocolate has many practical properties… it is for example, the first line of defence in treating Dementor exposure.'_

"Estella? What's wrong?" Remus asked, noting the far away look in her eye. "Don't you like it?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was just thinking of a defence lesson I had about chocolate." Estella said absently, her fingers picking at the wrapping of the chocolate in her hands listlessly.

"A lesson all about chocolate? Sirius scoffed. "Who on earth was your teacher? Honeyduke?"

"Close." Estella quirked her lips, her eyes twinkling as she looked her future Godfather in the eye. "Sometimes I swore they were related though."

"Maybe you should suggest that to James' Dad." Remus said, a wistful look in his eyes. "It would be a good idea to cover chocolate in defence."

Estella couldn't help herself, she laughed.

"Here, open mine next!" Sirius leapt forward excitedly, thrusting a heavy book-shaped object into Estella's hands, eager to see the girl's reaction.

Estella tore open the package with abandon to reveal, surprisingly, a book.

"Why thank you, Padfoot." Estella thanked her father awkwardly, a far away look in her eye. "This truly does surprise me." She had, after all been expecting some sort of Quidditch related gift to try and ignite her interest in the sport.

"It's a journal." Sirius explained. "Selina and Lily helped me with the charms…"

"What charms?" Estella asked, curious.

"Privacy charms." Sirius said, tousling his hair nervously. "So no one will be able to see what you write in there unless you let them."

"We thought you could use it kind of like a pensieve." James elaborated. "Girls go for that sort of stuff, right?"

"Look inside, there's an inscription…" Sirius urged, nudging the book closer to her.

_"What, no inscription?" _Her voice echoed in her head as she recalled a cherished memory from years past.

_"It's a first edition! Even in better condition than my own! I trust implicitly that you will treat it accordingly."_ The almost forgotten voice of her Uncle had replied. Estella looked down at the journal in her hands and let out a shaky sigh. Now she was nothing more than a competent potions partner to her Uncle she truly began to appreciate just how much he did care for her in her time, even if he did things to Sirius that inadvertently hurt her. The Severus Snape she knew from class would not give up a first edition of such a book easily – especially when it was in better condition than his own edition - let alone brew a potion that would help the likes of Remus Lupin. It would have taken a lot of love and consideration for him to have done things like that for her as he so willingly had.

Returning back to the matter at hand, Estella concentrated on the soft leather in her hands. The journal was bound in a very tasteful, very well appointed, soft black leather. If you looked closely you could see the constellation of Aries embossed in silver thread in the lower right corner of the cover. Opening the book revealed pages of thick, creamery parchment of the finest grain. On the first page lay a dedication in deep crimson ink:

_Like the stars in the night sky, may this book be a blazing light in dark times, showing you the way._

Her lashes moist with tears, Estella took in the loving words of her father's inscription once again.

_'…may this book be a blazing light in dark times…_' She choked back on a sob. What blazing light guided her father through all those years he wasted away in Azkaban as a innocent man?

_'You did.'_ A voice, buried deep in her subconscious whispered in her head.

Looking up to meet her father's eyes defiantly, Estella wondered what her father would be doing at that moment, alone in the future without her. It was then that she realised that as much as she wanted to stay in the past and get to know everyone and possibly try and find a way to change things without endangering the Wizarding world, Estella knew that she had to go home.

"Thanks, Sirius." Estella said, looking at him in surprise. "That was really profound."

Sirius muttered something about it being a quote from a book that was there when he bought it, but didn't go into details. The rest of the bedside party passed like a blur. James had given her a gorgeous peacock feather quill and matching inkwell that she could use in her book. From Peter, Estella had rather reluctantly accepted the gift of a set of Chess pieces carved out of blackwood. They came in a deceptively small midnight blue velvet pouch that was specially charmed to cushion the pieces and make for easy, pocket-sized, feather-light storage – the pouch being no larger nor heavier than a pouch you would receive a pair of earrings in.

Looking into the beady eyes of the rat animagus, Estella realised with a sickening start that the illusive fourth Marauder must have felt more than just honourable intentions towards her. Asides from the odd game of chess, the squashy looking boy remained in the shadows, ever observing. How could she have been so blind as to ignore the almost hopeful looks the boy gave whenever she or Remus had refuted all chances of a relationship between each other?

"What do we have here?" Henry 'Harry' Potter's voice boomed with mock anger as his figure came into the light, calling Estella away from her thoughts. "You were all absent from the Halloween Feast, though Dumbledore seemed to think there was nothing to worry about."

The busted students could only look at each other with dumbfounded expressions as the friendly ex-Auror continued.

"I checked the Common Rooms, the Library, Hagrid's Hut… all the usual haunts." Henry listed off his search. "Sir Nick was quite put out when you failed to make an appearance at his Deadthday party. I never thought of looking here. Why on earth are you all hiding yourselves away like this? You're not messing with hallucinogenic potions, are you?"

"Uh no, of course not!" Several voices chorused indignantly.

"Planning the next prank on your Head of House?" Henry smirked at them knowingly. No one had pinpointed them for the incident with the cat nip, but apparently the former Auror had known all along. The boys suppressed their grin sheepishly and lowered their eyes.

"What do you mean, 'next' prank?" Sirius asked, feigning innocence; though Estella did not miss the conspiratory look he gave her.

"We're not doing anything of that sort." Remus answered truthfully.

"Least not out here, in the open." James muttered, looking at his father directly in the eye; all four boys becoming more at ease when the elder Potter's smirk widened and he winked.

"Drinking fire whiskey you smuggled into the school then?" Henry prodded as though the implicatons of their earlier conversation had not occured.If Estella was not mistaken, thechild-hearted patriarch of the Potter line hadan almost hopeful lilt in his voice. Several heads shook violently in denial. Henry sighed, his eyes taking in the unmistakable signs of festivity. "Visiting a friend in the infirmary then, I suppose?" He stated the obvious almost crestfallenly.

The teenagers nodded slowly, not knowing what else to do.

"Very well then." Henry rescinded, smiling. "Just tell someone where you're off to when you decide to disappear for half the night again, alright?"

The collective group of marauding students nodded.

"And do let Aries get some rest. I want her in top form for our next class."

"Yes sir!" The group saluted playfully at Henry's retreating back.

Inwardly, Estella's heart ached…

_"…I will never see my parents again! Never see them cry, never smell them or have them look at me!…" _The echo of Harry's angered voice rippled through to the forefront of her memory as she looked into James' bespectacled eyes as they watched his father walk away. It wasn't fair that she got to see it and Harry didn't.

* * *

Peter Pettigrew was faced with a dilemma. It was widely known from the likes of Severus and Lucius that Estella Black had gone missing. Though the official story that was going around was that Sirius Black had kidnapped his daughter, Peter knew better. 

She was in the past.

Now, with his master working towards taking on a corporeal form once again, the traitorous Gryffindor was at a crossroads. He knew that the Dark Lord would dearly love to know the identity of the young girl who had defied him all those years ago… and so he did the next best thing; he told Lucius Malfoy.

Another spasm wracked itself through Wormtail's prone form – a tribute to Lucius Malfoy's hospitality - and it was not just on account of the Cruciatus Curse's after effects. When Sirius' daughter had gone missing he had assumed that she _had _been kidnapped by the wrongly accused fugitive… but when she did not return to school, the doubts began to fester in his mind. Knowing the Marauders as only he could, Peter knew that Sirius would not have deprived his child an education. Hogwarts was a special place to Sirius and Remus in particular because neither had very enjoyable home lives. Both would want the Black girl to experience Hogwarts as they had; no matter the cost to themselves.

Casting his mind back to his own memories of the child… chance glimpses he had been afforded during his time as a rat, Peter's mind was stirred with the memory of a long forgotten classmate from the past. Though they looked superficially different, Peter could note similarities in the behaviour and mannerisms between Estella Black and Aries Ollerton. That Aries Ollerton invented a 'divining' game that saw her predict nonsensical things such as James' son becoming a Quidditch Seeker in first year, hit the nail on the head for Wormtail. He had, firstly suspected that the mysterious Aries Ollerton was not of his time when he'd seen Harry join the Quidditch team; but it wasn't until Estella Black didn't return to school that he had a fair idea of who the girl from his past actually was.

Before setting off to Albania in search of his humbled master, Peter had confided his theory to Lucius Malfoy; who actually believed him. But then again, if his own aches and pains were anything to go by, Lucius Malfoy did not need much provocation to turn his ire towards someone. So, with Malfoy left to keep an eye out for the deceptive Black child's return, Peter was intent on finding his master and bringing him back to power. He would be a faithful servant and deliver to his master the child who defied him, and in return he would be protected. With Voldemort in power he wouldn't have to run anymore.

**End Chapter: Birthdays, Bludgers and Blunders**


	83. Pranks That End Badly

Disclaimer: Do I even have to keep doing these? LOL I know it's not mine… and so should you all by now!

Updated: Friday 3rd June 2005

A/N: Dedicated to Pickledishkiller, who, without even realising it, inspired me to take this road after sending me a fanfic of my fanfic (!) that explored the illusive 'what if' scenario. A big shout out also to all those who requested more Selina and Lily.

**Chapter Eighty Three: Pranks That End Badly **

Estella traversed the empty hallways alone; both in her own time and in this, it was her favourite pastime. Growing up in the imposing castle, not much about the place could phase her these days. Knowing her way around so well afforded her the advantage of knowing which hallways were most likely to grant her some peace, and, particularly, which empty classrooms yielded the most privacy.

It was whilst meandering down one of these said hallways that Estella was confronted with a rather unusual sound: the sound of music. Somewhere, nearby, there was a piano in song. Instantly curious, Estella indulged her distinctly Gryffindor tendencies and started searching the rooms around her for the source of the score. She didn't know what she was to expect, but what she found was something she didn't think she'd ever lay eyes on for there, behind door number three, was a modest upright piano, and at the keys, the teenaged form of her mother.

Two heads looked up as she burst into the room.

"What are you doing here?" said Lily, who had been watching Selina play. "What are you doing in this part of the school?"

"I could ask you the same thing." Estella challenged. "Though the answer presents itself. Do you both play?"

"How did you find this room?" asked Selina as she rose from the stool. "Did you follow us?"

"No… I could hear music." Said Estella. "You play beautifully."

"Impossible." Lily shook her head, the girl's tone reminding Estella all too much of Hermione. "We put up silencing charms. Both of us did!"

"Well, I hate to say it, but they must have worn off." Estella shrugged. "But I wouldn't worry too much; the walls are pretty thick and I could only hear it when I was a few doors down."

"Lily." Selina said, looking at the door. "Go check the charms."

Lily was out the door with the door closed before anyone could say another word; then Selina began to play.

"You don't believe I could hear you?" Estella asked with a mix of incredulousness and hurt.

Lily came back inside. "Did you play?"

Selina nodded, and Estella paled.

"I don't know how to explain it, but I could swear I heard music…" Estella sighed. "I'll go if I'm imposing…"

The two girls looked at each other.

"No, it's alright." Selina said finally. "It was just a bit of a shock to be disturbed like that."

"No one comes down this way." Lily added. "We've been here half a day at a time and never gotten interrupted."

"So this is where you disappear to!" said Estella. "Why… why did you never ask me if I wanted to come?"

"Well you're always off helping the boys with their homework; in the subjects we're not in." Lily said. "We didn't think you'd be interested."

"Why, do you play?" Selina asked.

Estella nodded. "I'm not as good as you though, I've only been learning for a few years."

"That's alright," Lily said. "I was learning the Muggle way before Selina started showing me a few things last year."

"Do you have any favourite pieces?" Selina asked.

"Well my teacher was rather into Beethoven, so that's pretty much the extent of what I've learnt so far." Estella said, leaning against the wall by the piano. "Though for what I've been exposed to, I'm also impartial to Brahms and Bach."

"My brother has an affinity for Beethoven." Selina mused.

"Severus plays?" Lily said, surprised.

"We've both been playing since we were small." Selina said. "He's very skilled… though if you valued your health you won't let that get out. Sev plays his cards very close to his chest – it'd be against his image to be known as a pianist."

"Does he ever come down here to play?" Estella asked.

"I don't know." Selina answered honestly. "Personally I can't go the entire school term without playing. Music is a window to…"

"…the soul." Estella recited along with her ascendant, distinctly remembering the line as something her Uncle had confided to her.

Selina began tinkering idly on the keys. "I quite like a bit of Bach myself."

"I would never have guessed they were all wizards!" Lily said.

"How else would their music last the ages?" Both Selina and Estella responded before sharing a bewildered look and laughing at each other's timing.

"We seem to have crossed over into each other's headspace." Selina said, moving over on the stool to make room for the girl she did not know as her daughter. "Sit down, I'll teach you some Bach."

"Really?" Estella said, sitting down without hesitation. "That'd be great!"

"Lily, you sit down too. We can do it together." Selina said, gesturing to the space on her right. "Aries, how are you at reading music?"

"To be honest? Quite lousy." Estella admitted sheepishly. "What I can play I have pretty much had magically committed to memory. Drives my tutor mad, because I'm always after him to spell my hands! I'm not too bad at reading music, but I can't keep up with my hands, if you know what I mean."

"Curious that you have a male teacher." Selina noted absently. "He should not be so giving with the charms. You'll never have the incentive to practice your reading otherwise."

"I think he just likes to hear me play." Estella shrugged, inwardly sighing as she thought of how lonely and quiet her Uncle's quarters must be like at that moment. "He'd feel redundant if I didn't have to come to him to practice."

"Relative, is he? Don't worry, my Aunt was the same." Selina smiled. "They all like feeling needed, don't they?"

"I think it's a two-way thing." Estella admitted, meeting her mother's eyes.

Grabbing the shorter girl's hand in her own and inspecting her fingers, Selina examined them carefully. "You have the right hands for playing… though you should stop biting your nails; it's rather unbecoming."

"Yes, Mum." Estella rolled her eyes, all the while savouring the instance of getting away with calling the girl that.

Selina scowled in response before settling her posture to play. "Remind me to teach you a manicure charm later." She said offhandedly as she began to play.

Estella was in heaven. The rest of the world could have caved in at that moment and she would not have seen past the fact that she was sitting there, with her mother and godmother no less, and she was happy.

* * *

It was some time after dinner that same day, and Estella was still reeling from the afternoon she'd spent with her future mother and godmother. Schedules, houses and subject choices had respectively prevented her from really getting to know the two girls and she'd all but given up hope of truly connecting with them on anything other than the generic bond afforded between amiable students. Now they had fully acknowledged each other's appreciation for the piano, Estella was assured more afternoons like the one she'd just had. While she still wasn't at terms with them to share in their secrets and all the trappings of 'best friends', they did value her for her intellect and welcome her company; and knowing that they did so without knowing whom she really was to them made Estella feel overjoyed. She was still in this state of euphoria as she busied herself in the library, working independently on a Care of Magical Creatures essay. 

"Ollerton." The silky voice of Severus Snape loomed over her suddenly as the young Slytherin came across her in his path. "Nice work on the potion last week. It is almost tolerable having you as my partner."

Rolling her eyes, Estella smiled at the closest thing to a compliment the aloof Slytherin was capable of giving, though inwardly she just knew her Uncle was up to something. "Why thank you, Severus. What more can I say? I was taught by the best."

Predictably, the subtle compliment aimed at the talented Potions student – well rather his future self – went completely unchecked.

"Though why you insist on associating yourself with such a rag tag bunch of blood traitors and Mudbloods is beyond me." Severus sneered.

_'Ah, so this is what he truly wants to talk about!' _Estella thought to herself_. 'He's here to talk politics.'_

"Need I remind you that your sister is amongst that group?" Estella bit back, inwardly reflecting on how his almost congenial greeting had been shot to dust by his follow through. Not that it surprised her, though, for twenty years in the future and he still needed to work on his people skills.

"Don't you concern yourself with my sister. She will come to her senses sooner or later." Severus looked down his abnormally long nose at the girl before him, and Estella knew he was referring to his father's plans to palm Selina off in an arranged marriage. "Would you care to share with me, however, why you didn't see fit to request those imbeciles be expelled after they almost killed you out on the Quidditch pitch?"

"It was an accident." Estella stated honestly. "Though for your information, they were merely teaching me how to fly. I'm sorry if your experiences of the game are not pleasant, but I assure you that, conventionally, Keep Away can be quite fun."

Severus gave her a unreadable look, his face moving so it was inches from her own. "For your information, Miss Ollerton." He spat, with a candour that was eerily reminiscent of his future self "that curse was aimed at me. It was an accident that it hit you instead."

"I won't deny that." Estella sighed. "But whoever the target, the result was unintended."

"Oh so that makes it excusable then, does it?" Severus growled. "I thought you were supposed to be a Ravenclaw?"

"I am, what is your point?" Estella retorted testily.

His rouse failed, Severus grunted in acknowledgement before stalking off, slightly put out by his intended victim's candour. No matter what he did, the girl was just not intimidated by him. It was almost as though she knew something he didn't, and it unnerved him. He was still mulling over his encounter with the mysterious Ravenclaw when his mind started to shift to other matters… the four Gryffindors he despised with every fibre of his being.

For the past several months, Severus Snape had been watching the four Gryffindors closely. To an observant eye, a pattern of their behaviour was readily discernable. Certain times of the month where their pranking would be at its peak, contrasted with several days each month where the four would appear excessively fatigued or altogether absent from classes. The teachers, it seemed, didn't think there was anything wrong with this consistent lapse of attentiveness, but Severus smelt a rat.

Then, just before he had been inspired to confront the new girl about the continued presence at the school of his tormentors, Severus had, from his vantage point at a window in the library that overlooked the school grounds, witnessed the most bearable of the quartet, Lupin, being escorted by the school's nurse into the direction of the Forbidden Forest. Did the strange boy have family who lived in the Forest? Was someone meeting them at the apparation point to address a family emergency? If that as the case, why didn't they use the Floo or arrange to meet at the gates of the school?

Somehow, Severus Snape just knew that wherever Madame Pomfrey was taking Remus Lupin it had something to do with the distracted behaviour of his classmates. Whatever it was, Severus Snape was committed to getting to the bottom of it.

"Oi, Snivellus! What you doing snooping around out here?" Sirius Black's voice drawled from behind him suddenly as Severus found himself out on the school grounds in pursuit of his answers.

"I know what you're up to, Black!" Severus snapped, spinning around, his wand levelled. "I intend to get some answers."

Holding his hands up in mock surrender, Sirius edged backwards. "Whoa! I'm sure whatever you need assistance with I could perhaps be of some help."

"Right, like you would tell me where Lupin just went and why Pomfrey returned without him!" Severus sneered, his eyes looking past Sirius towards the Forbidden Forest.

Sirius smirked. Evidently his future brother-in-law spent far too much of his time inhaling potion fumes to pay much attention to the lunar cycle. "He went through the tunnel under the Whomping Willow. It leads to the Shrieking Shack." Sirius said, shrugging nonchalantly. "There's a rose-shaped knot at the base of the tree that you can press with a stick that stops the Willow from, er, whomping you. The tunnel's directly below it, under the roots. See for yourself."

"I suppose you're going to tell me Lupin's indigent family lives in that ramshackle excuse of a house and he visits them?" Severus narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"No, I'm not." Sirius shook his head. "It's really none of your business why he goes there, Snivellus. Though I suppose I can't stop you from indulging your own intrusive search for knowledge."

With that, Sirius stalked off, barely able to conceal his smirk. Chancing a glance over his shoulder to see the predictable Slytherin walking towards the young Willow tree, he acknowledged that his spontaneously wrought plan was in motion. Morphing into his newly acquainted animagus form he bounded off through the forest, taking the short cut to the shack so as to intercept the indulgent snake before he got himself killed.

Meanwhile, Estella was following hot on Severus' heels. He had left one of his textbooks in the library and she felt obliged to return it to him. Since she wasn't sure which direction he had headed off in, but once she, quite by chance, saw from a window her Uncle headed towards the Whomping Willow and recognised by her knowledge of the lunar cycle that the full moon would be rising that night, it didn't take Estella long to realise what was happening.

Running now from her place on the Castle's first floor, she barrelled out of the Castle's main doors, headed down the hill towards the Willow in the distance that her Uncle had disappeared beneath. Estella's lungs were burning. Was she doing the right thing by interfering with this historical turn of events? Based on what her Uncle had told her, James Potter had not appreciated her father's 'sense of humour' and pulled Severus out of harm's way… but what if her presence changed all of that? What if James didn't know, and it was up to her to do something? What would happen if her Uncle was bitten or killed? Who would have been there to raise her?

Her breathy gasps of warning drowned out by the driving wind of the night sky, Estella tumbled into the tunnel behind her Uncle with such force that the air was knocked from her lungs. It was no use. He was so far ahead of her in the tunnel she couldn't even hear the echo of his footsteps. All she could do was run after him and hope.

Heaving the trapdoor open at the end of the tunnel, Estella hauled herself into the familiar hallway of the Shrieking Shack.

"Severus?" She whispered, he breath coming in ragged gasps as she struggled to catch her breath. There was no answer.

Suddenly, the sounds of two sets of feet thundering down the stairs above her alerted her to her Uncle's location.

"Get the hell out of here, Severus! Go!" Remus Lupin screamed uncharacteristically at the defiant Slytherin, hauling him unresponsively down the stairs towards the trapdoor from whence he came. "You don't have anymore time!"

Fatefully, Severus resisted, wasting the precious time he'd unknowingly need to escape in just a few moments time. The moon had just risen, and it was calling the wolf to the surface. With one last burst of humanity, Remus managed to shove Severus down the remaining flight of stairs forcefully, giving the emerging werewolf some distance between himself and his soon to be prey.

Unfortunately for Severus, his ankle snapped in the fall. Dazed and affronted by the show of force, Severus' first concern was to preserve his pride; the selectively dim Slytherin yet to fully appreciate the dangers he was subjecting himself to the longer he dawdled.

"Now look here, Lupin!" Severus shouted in annoyance, letting out a hiss of pain as he tried to stand and face his foe. By the time he saw with his own eyes what was happening to the unassuming Gryffindor, Estella had reached him, and was wasting no time in hauling the shocked, unresponsive form of her uncle towards the trapdoor.

"Werewolf!" Severus said weakly, his voice an uncharacteristic squeak. "What? You…"

"No time for questions, Sev." Estella panted, her face flush with exertion, her body going rigid when she heard the completely transformed wolf howl. "Must hurry."

Trying to push a young man who was more or less twice her size towards a opening no more than three feet square in a dark room, was no easy feat – especially when said individual was succumbing to shock; had an immobilising injury and you were physically exhausted from running close to a mile as though your life depended on it. With the wolf closing in on them, Estella realised that there would not be enough time to get them both through the trapdoor. Giving her silent Uncle one last desperate shove towards the trapdoor, hoping his eyes had adjusted enough in the dim light and he had enough wits about him to find the rest of the way down the hole unaided, Estella pulled away, mind set on drawing the werewolf's attention away from her injured and disorientated Uncle.

Drawing her wand and taking a deep breath, Estella threw a hex at the werewolf, succeeding in incensing the animal enough to abandon its stalking of what he could undoubtedly smell to be the weaker prey. Suddenly finding herself face to face with the imposing beast, Estella felt her bravado slipping away.

_'Damn it, Black, you got through this once._' She tried to soothe herself with a pep talk, even though she knew she was pushing her luck. Backing into a all-too-familiar room, memories plagued her mind, the re-emergent fear catching her off guard as it began to dawn in her heart.

"No." She said forcefully, throwing another destabilising hex at the wolf, keeping it wary of her. In the hallway, she heard the trapdoor slam. Her uncle had gotten away – now all she had to do was find a way out herself. The sound of a dog barking and pounding hooves hitting turf in the distance was a welcome sound in her ears.

Sirius and James.

All she had to do was hold out until they got here. Everything would be alright just as soon as they got here.

What on earth was taking them so long?

To calm her nerves as she darted this way and that, throwing harmless, yet distracting hexes at the increasingly maddened werewolf; Estella concentrated on recalling the notes of one of her favoured piano pieces, Moonlight Sonata. The soothing tones washing over her mind like a warm hug as the offending moonlight seeped through the cracks in the drapes, bathing her in light, Estella felt at peace. Everything slowed down, and she began to see what was in front of her with renewed clarity.

It surprised her, then, when the wolf lunged at her, swiping her wand from her hand with a meaty paw and drawing blood. Whether it was because the wolf was just too quick for her, or if it was because she was distracted by the pacifying music in her mind and the approaching sound of her cavalry, Estella didn't have time to consider.

All hell was breaking loose.

Scared now - bleeding and broken without her wand - Estella's mindset regressed to that of the frightened six year old who had once defied the odds all those years ago. Backing into the very same wall of tapestries, Estella tried to edge away in the direction she knew the trapdoor to be. Between the melodic hum of the sonata reaching its peak in her head and the familiarity of the situation and its conclusion reassuring her, Estella had not given up hope.

_'You can **do** this_!' She repeated to herself over and over. _'You've done it once, you can do it again!'_

What she wasn't counting on, however, was the change in the wolf's demeanour. Younger, and a little more ticked off than their previous meeting, Moony was not in the mood for toying with his prey this time round. The precious time she had all but borrowed when she tempted fate was running short, for no sooner had she allowed herself a sigh of relief after having seen Padfoot and Prongs storm into the far side of the room behind Moony did her luck run out.

Moony attacked.

Reeling back as though stung, Sirius and James, in their animagus forms, could barely bring themselves to look upon the heartbreaking sight of the girl lying there in a pool of her own blood. Mortified grey and hazel eyes then taking in the sight of Moony's bloodstained jaw, the pair were overcome with a tirade of conflicting emotions. Remus was one of their closest friends. Anger, hatred, fear, love, sadness… Neither knew what to think. Though they couldn't bring themselves to look at the victorious form of the werewolf as it stood defiantly between himself and the now cursed Ravenclaw, or reconcile the creature with the friend they knew; Sirius, for one, could do one thing. He blamed himself. There was little question in his mind that Aries had followed Severus into his trap and rescued him from a fate he had unwittingly prescribed the irritable Slytherin to. How could he be so stupid as to misjudge the time he would take to get to the Shack when not using the tunnel? The damn Slytherin must have ran all the bloody way.

Exchanging a dismayed look at Prongs, who was softly keening to himself, Sirius moved to approach the unmoving girl, tears flowing freely from his doggy eyes, the room filled with his pained whines. As predicted, Moony raised himself on his haunches, snarling viciously in his attempt to defend the fallen girl, his instincts as alpha of his pack preceding all else.

She was Moony's now.

Admitting defeat, Sirius and James kept silent vigil from a distance Moony seemed to accept. They could then only watch on in a mix of silent awe and revulsion as the wolf cleaned the unconscious child's wounds and, finally sated, curled up around the girl protectively, keeping her traumatised body warm with his fur for the rest of the enduring night.

At peace for the moment, the of-mind parties in the room could only hope to keep the moment frozen in time.

The morning would not be as forgiving.

End Chapter: Pranks That End Badly


	84. Remorse

Disclaimer: Not mine

Updated: Sunday 5th June 2005

**Chapter Eighty Four: Remorse **

Remus had awoken first. Disorientated at first, the weary teenager felt strangely sated. Despite the residual aches from the transformation itself, his body held no new scars. No bruises to tell the tale of the Marauder's latest dalliance in the Forbidden Forest. No self-inflicted scratches or bites when the wolf had gone to such drastic measures to satisfy it's own blood lust.

Speaking of blood though, the air was rank with the unmistakable scent of it. The smell of it was both nauseating and intoxicating to the vulnerable young man in his human form; but it was the unidentified source of such bloodshed that held his heart in a vice. It was at that precise moment that he noticed the form of the unmoving girl in his arms.

Aries.

Repulsed, both in fear and disgust at the possibility that he may have harmed the girl that endeared him, Remus scrambled away from the slumbering child and braced himself against the wall, drawing his knees to his chest and rocking himself violently.

"No. No. No. No. No!" He chanted under his breath over and over. The shattered adolescent couldn't bring himself to touch the girl he just knew his wolf had so viciously violated. His tastebuds recognising the taste of her blood on his lips, Remus wretched, mortified with himself. Asides from undoing what had already been done, he wanted nothing more at that moment than to rid his mouth of her taste. The fact that he faced certain death at the hands of the ministry when news got out of what he had did was the least of his concerns. In his guilt and self-loathing, he was convinced it was nothing short of what he deserved. He had cursed one of his friends. Not only that, he had betrayed his friends, and let Dumbledore down. Here was a man who had so willingly accepted him into school despite his affliction, fully confident in that he would keep his secret and not endanger his classmates, and yet there he had gone and done that very thing.

"Remus?" James shaky voice roused the remorseful werewolf from his self-incriminating reverie. "You okay mate?"

"What do you think?" Remus replied a little too harshly, his voice beginning to waver pleading "Look what I did, Prongs! Things will never be the same again!"

Sirius, meanwhile, had awoken and rushed to Estella's side. Cradling the child in his arms, he sobbed openly, his mind awash with confusion. It was all his fault!

"The ministry can't find out." Sirius said quietly, shooting a pleading look at Remus and James. "For both your sake's."

"I'm fully prepared to take the consequences, Padfoot, as irreversible as they may be." Remus sighed. "I deserve it. I can't live with this. You have to tell the ministry, Sirius! If Aries is not registered she will be a fugitive her entire life!"

"I don't know what to do, Remus." Sirius cried, squeezing his eyes shut in defiance. "I'm only fifteen for Merlin's sake! I… I… I… Merlin what have I done?"

The three boys fixed their eyes on the restlessly unconscious form before them that occupied of their thoughts.

"I don't want to lose you, Remus." Sirius stated firmly.

"I don't know if we have any choice, Pads" James sighed quietly. "How are we going to keep this under wraps? What if Aries needs medical attention? What about Snape? He knows what Remus is and as good as left Aries here to fend for herself!"

The stirring moans of the girl in Sirius' arms disrupted all of their musings. Like a miracle, she presented a solution to all their ills.

"Time turner." Her pained voice barely formed the words a she reached a hand into the pocket of her robes clumsily. "Twelve turns should do it."

* * *

Close to two decades later, three men sat in Dumbledore's office, seeking answers to questions that were burning through their minds. 

"James and I were the only ones to use the time turner." Sirius explained to the men before him, his mind still haunted by the memory only he could remember. "That Severus was only saved by James when we used Estella's time turner… does that mean she was always meant to go back?"

"It's true, Albus." Severus nodded, rarely agreeing with his arch nemesis. "I have no memory of actually making it all the way to the shack that night. Potter prevented me from entering."

Remus squirmed uncomfortably in his chair, shooting the sleep deprived potions master an unreadable look. "In a way it was Estella who saved your life, Severus. Had she never gone back in time James wouldn't have had a time turner to use, and no one would have been there to get you out." He mumbled, under his breath before looking the patient headmaster in the eye with a pained look on his face. "Dear Merlin, I bit her, Albus. Sirius assures me he had her stunned and body bound in Hagrid's hut all night, preventing it from happening the second time round, but surely if the curse was that preventable, everyone would go back and undo their attacks?"

A dark look washed over the protective Uncle's face. "Just what did the girl remember?" He asked in a deadly tone, unwilling to voice his acknowledgement that the little girl he raised was lost in time by calling her by her name.

Two heads hung low, finding the upholstery on their chairs extremely interesting.

"I'm the only one who remembers what happened." Sirius assured himself more than anything. "James and I were the only ones who lived both nights… though…" A pained look came over Sirius' face.

"Though what, Black?" Severus glared.

"I kind of had to tell her something when she wanted to know why I had her time turner!" Sirius blurted. "Look, I didn't know she was my daughter, alright? I was only 15, I didn't know what else to tell her!"

"You told her she had been bitten?" Remus' face was ashen.

"Don't worry, Remus, she was fine with it." Sirius tried to calm the stricken werewolf. "Once she realised James and I had undone it."

"But had you undone it?" Severus sneered at Sirius before looking towards his mentor for clarification. "Albus?"

"Alas I have nothing to refer this strange phenomenon to." The perceivably all-knowing patriarch of all that was light in the Wizarding role conceded defeat. "It appears that as a child out of time, time in this instance did not play by the rules, no?"

Three heads shot up, their respective eyes peering at him with as much confusion as before.

"Previous attempts to prevent such fate from occurring have been unsuccessful." Albus said simply. "With more people ending up being cursed or killed. I guess it was not Miss Black's destiny to be bitten."

The younger men in the room waited anxiously for the rather eccentric old man to clarify his explanation.

"Using a time turner without authorisation is of course, illegal." The older wizard clarified. "And far be it for the Ministry to approve the act of meddling with fate, let alone condone the use of one of their most precious resources."

The men stared at each other incredulously. Were Time Turners truly that difficult to come by?

"Fascinating… truly fascinating…" Albus Dumbledore mused to no one in particular, his hand reaching inside his robes and pulling out a pouch. "Can I interest any of you gentlemen in a Lemon Drop?"

Surprised at the simplicity with which the venerable old wizard approached the situation at hand, and disconcerted at their lack of answers, the three men in Estella Black's life politely declined the sticky, sour sweet and declared their intent to leave.

"Oh Sirius." The unpredictable headmaster called after him flippantly. "Do stay behind for a moment, will you?"

Though there was a question in the old man's voice, Sirius knew it was not a request. Returning to his seat on the opposite side of the wise old wizard's desk, he pulled at the worn threading in his armchair distractedly.

"What is this about, Headmaster." He asked nervously, subconsciously slipping into the familiar banter of formalities not much unlike what his daughter had a habit of doing in similar situations.

"The Time Turner in your daughter's possession…" The headmaster let his former student's relapse into formalities slip as he let the sentence hang.

Sirius swallowed audibly. "What about it, Sir?" He asked dumbly.

"Did she ever say where she got it from?" He asked, with no need to clarify things further.

His grey eyes melting at the sight of the questioning blue lights of the inquisitive headmaster, Sirius could only shrug. It would serve no purpose lying to him now. "I assume she'd always had it on her."

"Curious that she had her ticket home the entire time, and yet she did not use it." The headmaster mused, his voice taking on a foreign tone. Another nod. "You realise she kept it from me?"

"I suspect she wanted to get to know her mother." Sirius confessed.

"Perhaps." The headmaster said wistfully. "Can I ask what you know about the time turner that she broke?"

"She found it in a secret compartment in her mother's desk at Snape Manor." Sirius explained, repeating what Estella had told him. "Knowing Selina as I did, I don't think she even knew it was there."

"You did not think it particularly dangerous to permit a child to possess it?" Albus narrowed his gaze at the younger man.

"I saw no harm in it." Sirius said defensively, already feeling guilty enough. "Besides, Estella told me a friend of hers used one to get to classes last year."

"Yes, and both the school administration, and the Ministry, were aware of its issue. Miss Granger was also thoroughly briefed on the terms of its use." Albus said authoritatively. "Though with this new information, I can only draw conclusion that the time turner young Estella leant you back in 1975 was indeed the same one from our time. I see another Black has succeeded in surprising me." He said warmly, his aged lips cracking into a comforting smile. "An extraordinary achievement, not least it occurring twice in one family. Three times if you count your secret little adventure in the Shrieking Shack that night."

Looking into the twinkling blue beacons of the powerful man's eyes, Sirius took a deep breath. "Will she come back, Headmaster? Please, I know I have kept…things… from you in the past, but please be honest. What are her chances?"

"Alas my dear boy I was not present." Albus grimaced slightly, his lips pursing together worriedly.

"You think she used the Time Turner to get away?" Sirius asked, hopeful.

"It is a distinct possibility, yes." Albus nodded. "All the clues seem to point in that direction."

"Why has she not returned?" Sirius scratched his head. "You would think if she broke the device that took her back through time to begin with it would have returned her to the exact moment she left from. What could have gone wrong?"

"Time Turners are very volatile when broken." Albus sighed. "Their course cannot be predicted under such circumstances. No one has dared to test the 'boomerang' theory."

Sirius buried his head in his hands as the answerless headmaster went on.

"I'm afraid, Sirius, that all we can do is wait. Only time will tell."

**End Chapter: Remorse**


	85. Unforgettable Yuletide

Disclaimer: Not mine

Updated: Sunday 5th June 2005

**Chapter Eighty Five: Unforgettable Yuletide**

The thought of sending an unwitting student such as Severus Snape into the direct path of an uncontrollable werewolf wasn't even a good idea when he'd first come up with it. In hindsight Sirius didn't have any idea what he was thinking – all he knew as that he had made a foolish, terrible mistake in the heat of the moment and it had come close to both maiming someone close to him and condemning his trusted friend to horrible fate.

_'How could I have been so stupid?'_ He kicked himself forcefully as he watched over the peacefully sleeping form of the girl he had just rescued from a terrible fate – thanks to the time turner she had leant him. Sirius had no choice but to stupefy the determined girl in his efforts to deter her from going to the Shrieking Shack. She had missed on seeing James' time turner-assisted intervention with the lanky Slytherin and was still under the distinct belief that Severus Snape was in mortal peril.

It was a little after dawn. With the moon already risen, Sirius had carried Aries to Hagrid's Hut (incidentally the half-giant was out of the country trying to rally up support for Dumbledore from his giant cousins). James had seen to Severus' wellbeing before meeting up with Moony and Wormtail in the forest for their monthly jaunt, while Sirius kept vigil over his stunned charge. Now, she was stirring, and Sirius braced himself for her wrath.

"SIRIUS!" The girl shrieked, sitting bolt up right from where she had been lying on the oversized, overstuffed couch in the draughty hut to pummel Sirius mercilessly in the chest as he sat by her. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR? SEVERUS IS IN DANGER!"

The frantic expressions on the disorientated girl's face began to shift and change as she realised it was daytime.

"Oh my God! We're too late! We're too late!" Estella was screaming, her hands clawing at her body, searching for her time turner.

Firmly grabbing the small hands of his incoherent classmate in his own to prevent her from unwittingly hurting herself, Sirius struggled to placate the distraught girl. "Hey! It's all right! Everyone is fine. You are fine. No one got hurt last night!" Sirius whispered his urgent reassurances into the girl's ear as he physically tried to prevent the girl from leaving.

Once she had calmed down and stilled, Sirius reached into his pocket and pulled out the time turner. "I suppose you were looking for this?" He asked, handing it back to her.

"Wait. How did you get this? What did you change?" Estella's eyes widened. The only way she would have given the time turner to Sirius to go back and change events of the night before would have been if she were dead or bitten.

"I got bitten, didn't I?" She pressed him for information. "Killed?"

"The first one." Sirius choked, nodding softly. "After you awoke… _the first time_… you gave me your time turner. We… James and I… went back and stopped you and Severus from going in the tunnel."

"James saved Severus?" Estella asked, her eyes widening. Sirius nodded.

James had always been the one who saved Severus. If he had only been able to do that with assistance of a time turner, a time turner that she provided, then that meant she was always meant to come back in time.

"Sirius," She asked shakily. "If I had never come to this school, if I hadn't leant you my time turner… would James have still been able to stop Severus?"

"No." Sirius shook his head, a haunted look on his face. "You're the one who stopped him. You had distracted Moony long enough for Snape to get away, and by the time James and I got there you were already unconscious."

"Oh." Estella gaped. She was always supposed to come back.

* * *

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Remus asked James for the umpteenth time that morning as they stealthily made their way towards Hagrid's Hut to rendezvous with Sirius and Estella before sneaking back to the castle for breakfast. "You're looking at me as though I devoured half of Hogsmeade last night!" 

"You don't remember anything?" James asked his friend warily. "Anything at all?"

"Prongs, what has gotten into you? You know I don't remember what the wolf does while I am in that form! I am not of mind." Remus shook his head in indignation. What was going on here?

"What about when you woke up this morning?" James asked. "Do you remember anything that didn't happen?"

"James, you're not making any sense, mate." Peter cut in, his chubby, short legs struggling to keep up, the short Gryffindor having met up with the stag and werewolf the night before on the outskirts of the forest. "How can you remember something if it didn't happen?"

"Unless you had a time turner and lived the night twice." Remus concluded, rounding on James sharply. "Alright, spill."

"What are you talking about, Moony, I… I… I don't have a time turner, you know that." James tried to convince his friend. "Why if we had a time turner, think of all the extra stuff we could pull!"

Remus was not convinced, but he chose to say nothing more.

* * *

"So, not a word to Remus, alright?" Sirius pleaded with Aries. "He doesn't remember what the wolf does anyway, but just the idea of waking up to the knowledge that he'd turned someone would be enough to drive him to ruin." 

"It's alright, Sirius." Estella assured him. "I wouldn't want to put him through that."

"Thank you." Sirius said gratefully, as he held the door open for her; letting her walk out into the front yard of the gamekeeper's hut first.

"No, thank you." Estella threw back. "For going back and changing things."

"Aries, it was the least I could do, for both you and Remus." Sirius said, that haunted look returning to his eyes.

"Yes, but that's something you'll always have with you now." Estella looked at him sadly. "Only you and James."

"James, I regret, but I deserve to live with this." Sirius said depreciatingly. "It will remind me never to do something as stupid again. For what it's worth though, I am sorry."

"What if it had been Severus who was bitten? Would you have learnt your lesson then? Would you have even cared? Or would you have just been upset for what it would have meant to Remus?" Estella asked him pointedly.

In response, Sirius had the good graces to look sheepish. "I don't deny that I would have taken for granted what effect it would have had on Snape's life." He lowered his head in shame. "But seeing it happen like it did, I'll never think to even pretend to place anyone in that position again. Please believe me when I say I never intended for anyone to get hurt! Not even Snape!"

"Right. It was just meant to be a joke." Estella sneered, looking all together too much like a Snape at that moment. "Just like accidentally causing me to fall like that was a harmless hex that Severus was supposed to take as a joke too. I want you to apologise to him."

Before Sirius could respond, the pair was interrupted by the arrival of James, Remus and Peter. James, who was looking increasingly worse for wear after having been awake now for the equivalent of 36 hours, sighed in relief when he saw Estella intact.

"Hey guys." He feigned casually at them, though his eyes were seeking silent answers from them both. "Some night, huh?"

"Some night." Estella replied tersely. "One I don't particularly want to live through twice."

Catching on, James and Sirius shared a look; the unspoken revelation being that the girl they had worked to save knew her alternate fate.

"What is going on with you three?" Remus asked suspiciously, only to be interrupted by the resonating growl of tummies and a mutual desire to seek out breakfast.

* * *

Sirius made the trip back to Hogwarts under cover of darkness. Both he and Remus had been summoned to meet with the headmaster, but on account of the approaching full moon, only Sirius was able to accept the invitation. 

"Albus, you wanted to see me?" A cleaner, better fed Sirius Black entered the headmaster's office. Although the man was still a fugitive, and the strain of his daughter's unknown whereabouts belied itself in the man's fathomless grey eyes, life on the outside being assisted and watched after by the most trusted Members of Dumbledore's disbanded Order – was doing the previously gaunt and emaciated convict a world of good. No one could be sure if Estella Black would return to her own time unscathed, but it was important to those who held her dear that her wrongly convicted father was treated well. If Estella were to return from the past to find not only James and Lily gone, but her father too, there was no predicting how she would adjust.

"Ah yes, Sirius. How lovely to see you looking so well. Do take a seat." Albus rose to greet the most notorious of his alumni and gestured for him to take a seat in the chair he had grown so accustomed to over the several few months. "I'll get straight to the point. I received, quite by chance, the most interesting delivery from a Mr Benson Ollerton this afternoon. I trust I needn't explain the relevance?"

Sirius' throat went dry. "The real Aries Ollerton's father." He croaked, his voice hoarse.

Nodding, Albus continued. "A mysterious box of personal effects was discovered in a storeroom in the Ollerton family's summer home. After Estella disappeared from the past, I confided in Benson her true identity."

Sirius gasped in alarm.

"I didn't say who her parents were, only that she was a child out of her time and that we'd likely see her again in twenty years. It seems he never forgot, and delivered Estella's things to me. I'd overlooked that the house elves had them packed up and sent to the family after she left since only I knew at the time who she truly was. Where she truly had gone."

A lump formed in Sirius' throat. "Estella's belongings? From her time in the past?" He choked out, a dull ache gripping his heart. "Where are they?"

"In her trunk." Albus nodded towards an overlooked corner of his office where, sure enough, the familiar, but disturbingly aged trunk sat. "It has been disturbed as little as possible. It seems right that you should take it home for her. Ready her room, perhaps?"

"What about her Uncle?" Sirius said almost bitterly. "I am a fugitive. Severus is her guardian."

"Oh I am sure when the time comes Severus will be cooperative. If my memories serve me correctly, I daresay Estella would want to see you." Albus smiled. "Besides, it is my understanding that young Severus was not privy to the company of Aries Ollerton. I suspect, therefore, that her personal effects would not hold as much significance to him."

"Does he know that they are here?" Sirius asked, eying the trunk as though he was waiting for Estella to leap from inside it and announce it was all just an elaborate joke. "Knowing Severus, he would want to take it away from me just because he could."

"Ah, Sirius. You do not give your brother in law enough credit." Albus frowned slightly. "Notably, I have not informed him of this latest development."

"Are you sure you weren't sorted into Slytherin?" Sirius asked quizzically as he rose from his chair to go to the trunk, its pull too much to resist. It was almost as though he feared Severus would barge in at any moment and take away what little he had left of his daughter.

Albus chuckled slightly. "First and foremost, you are Estella's father." He acknowledged. "Deep down, Severus knows this. I can only hope that for the child's sake you will be able to put aside the past transgressions and work together."

"He let me rot in Azkaban." Sirius growled bitterly. "I was a stranger to my child because of him."

"Severus did not fight for you, that much is true." Albus admitted. "Though I must say I don't think it would have done much difference if he had. The man has little credibility in the eyes of the Ministry. No, the fact remains the same: without Peter there were… are not a lot of options for you."

"I know. I know." Sirius grumbled begrudgingly into the trunk, his lean body crouching over it, one hand caressing the fine wood grain reverently. "I just wish things could have worked out differently."

"So do we all, my dear boy." Albus nodded sadly. "Now why don't you take that trunk home with you? I can tell you must be itching to uncover its treasures."

Sirius nodded numbly, his capable hands lifting the trunk with ease. "Just in time for Christmas." He whispered sadly, the moisture in his eyes threatening to spill over. Straightening his back and bidding his farewell to the headmaster, he continued, his voice a little stronger. "Thank you, Albus."

"Merry Christmas, dear boy." Albus said, tossing the Floo Powder in the fire for the young man, who had his hands full. With one reassuring squeeze to the younger wizard's shoulder, Albus bid the childless father well and returned to his desk, the tell tale whoosh of the fireplace behind him letting him know he was alone in his office once more.

Settling in his chair heavily, the aged old wizard sighed. Reflecting on his earliest conversations with the time-lost student of his, he could not help but feel a tinge of regret for all he had put her family through. He should have heard the young Ravenclaw out… if not to save the Potters, but to spare Sirius of the life he had been dealt. The poor boy didn't deserve to spend all that time in Azkaban. If only he had interpreted her cryptic clues more carefully. Of course he had paid attention to what little she had told him about the future – her affirmation that an innocent man had been sent to Azkaban was his driving motivation in fighting to have Severus freed. Only he had known of the young Slytherin's spying activities and he had assumed from Estella's story that getting him out of prison was what she had intended to prevent. It didn't occur to him at the time that it was Sirius who she was talking about. Sirius had been known for thinking rashly and doing foolish things; and the fallible headmaster had actually thought, at the time, that he was equally capable of fooling them all and betraying his friends. That he had doubted the loyal Gryffindor so quickly was something Albus was ashamed to admit… and despite his remorse and his desire to make things up to his former student as he lived his life on the run, he knew it was something he couldn't admit to.

* * *

Sure enough, it was like Christmas had come early for the mismatched pair of wizards. It took every ounce of Sirius' self control to hold back from opening the trunk until after Remus had recovered from his transformation, but he had managed it. The faithful Godfather deserved to be present the same, if not more, than Sirius himself. 

Opening the trunk without Estella there was perhaps the hardest thing they could ever do, but it was something they couldn't hold off on doing. Reacquainting themselves with actual objects that solidified their loved one's visit to the past made the fleetingly returning memories all the more concrete and substantial in their minds. When Estella had disappeared that day, all those years previously, teachers had taken her things away and, not realising the significance of the girl's relationship with them, the Marauders had been a little foolhardy in discarding the memories. They had, after all, only known her for a comparatively short period of time. Dumbledore had told the school that Aurors had rescued her and taken her to the Ministry for debriefing, and from there her parents took her straight home. She was not expected to return. Sure, they tried to send her mail via the headmaster for a while, but they didn't receive a reply; and with war that was only then breaking out, their minds quickly moved onto other things.

Photographs that belonged to all of them found their way into that trunk. Carefully preserved, candid moments, that until that moment the two men had not been able to appreciate just why 'Aries' was so insistent upon collecting them. To their surprise, all of the snapshots showed Estella in her true form. They could only assume that Estella had somehow spelled the photographs to reveal her true form to those who knew it. As painful as it was to see the cheerful, animated memories – forever captured in time on the magical paper – neither men could deny how precious it was to see a picture of Estella with her mother; the woman who had made the ultimate sacrifice for her child.

"Hey Sirius, look at this." Remus narrowed his eyes at a photograph he was holding in her hand. "Look at how she was looking at Peter. I'd hate to think how hard it would have been for her to not hex him."

Accepting the picture from his mild mannered friend, Sirius took in the image of Estella and Peter playing a game of chess. Recognising the work as the makings of his deceased wife, it was easy to pick that the photo's subjects were not aware of the photo being taken. Both occupants were concentrating predominantly on the game of Chess they were competing in; the image replaying a sequence of moves over and over.

"There!" Remus said, pointing over Sirius shoulder the instance where Estella's eyes would indiscernibly flick to her opponent. "Look at her eyes, Padfoot! She's not just thinking about a Chess game, I'd bet my life on it."

Frowning, Sirius peered at the photograph more closely, his eyes watching every move his depicted daughter made. It was moments like this; however, that the escaped convict had to acknowledge the comparative unfamiliarity he had with his daughter. Compared to how well Remus knew her, he was virtually a stranger to her library of looks and mannerisms.

"I don't know, Moony." Sirius admitted. "You knew her better than I did."

"Don't talk in past tense, Sirius." Remus snapped, snatching the photo back. "It doesn't do either of us any good."

"Wait a minute! Give me that back!" Sirius said suddenly, his hand grabbing the telling photo back from his friend to peer at the other occupant of the photo. Unlike his daughter, however, he was infinitely better acquainted with the fifth year rat.

"I don't believe it!" He spluttered, his fingers gripping the edge of the photo in rage. "I'll kill the traitorous little shite!"

* * *

He was at a loss. The attack was scheduled for the next Hogsmeade visit – the one immediately before Christmas when everyone who was able would not pass up the opportunity to attend. Aries and the Marauders would all be going. Those in line for initiation – well those in contention who could be trusted with the information - had been forewarned of the attack; probably as some kind of test of loyalty. If news travelled to the school that such an attack was planned, Christmas would be very bleak for half the Slytherin population – as well as for a few misplaced students of other houses. At the same time, though, it would not gel well for him to disappear from his friends just before the attack. If they survived they would suss him out… but if he stayed with them… 

The four Marauders and their female acquaintances were huddled in a secluded booth in the Three Broomsticks, talking excitedly about the upcoming Christmas break and Yule Ball. Glancing at his watch nervously every few moments, Peter was fighting a losing battle with a cold sweat. Save for finding some excuse to lure them all out of the crowded social hotpot and out of pending harm's way within the next few minutes, he was all out of options.

"So what do you say, Aries, we go shopping for some dress robes after lunch?" Lily suggested. "Go back and look at that dress we saw this morning?"

"I don't know." Estella said quietly. "I don't really have any money. My, er, parents have been quite generous in putting some pocket money in my student account, but I am reluctant to draw from it except when absolutely necessary. Besides, my, er, mother packed me a set of robes for the occasion just like the supply list requested."

"But you didn't pick them yourself!" Selina said, shaking her head. "You said so yourself! They fit all wrong! And the colour… ugh!"

"Wait on," Estella said, her mouth full of her spinach roll as she waved her fork in the air. "I never even said I was going to go to the Yule Ball!"

"You're going." Sirius stated firmly in a tone so authoritative that the girls broke into another round of conspiratorial giggles as Sirius stabbed his fork in her direction.

"Be careful what you wish for…" Estella mumbled good naturedly, stabbing her carrot with her fork; ignoring the quizzical look Sirius then gave her.

"Well I want to go check out the latest broomsticks." James said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose almost subconsciously as the finished up his meal. "You guys coming with?"

"James Potter!" Lily shrieked. "It's the last Hogsmeade visit before Christmas, do you mean to tell me you've completed your Christmas shopping?"

"No." James shrugged. "You know me, I'm not as organised as you."

"You better not buy gifts from that broom closest!" If Lily were standing she would have stamped her foot. "Your friends don't all share the same interests as you!"

"Oh ye of little faith!" James pouted, holding his hand over his heart in mockery. "Aries, did I not place enough thought in your get well gift?"

"I loved it, James." Estella assured him.

"See! Someone has faith!" James saluted and tousled his hair, a lopsided grin on his face.

"James Potter get that smug look off your face, you know you had help!" Lily admonished him, kicking him under the table, causing him to jerk to attention. "Now, shall we discuss our plans for the Yule Ball?"

"Sure." Sirius said flippantly. "You and me. Prongs and Lily, Moony and Ollie. Wormtail and that Hufflepuff chick that eyes him off in class, what's her name, Skeeter."

"Excuse me, Sirius, but just because I am Selina's best friend and she is your girlfriend it doesn't then mean that, by extension, I am at all suited for your best friend." Lily admonished. "Besides, what if I already have a date?"

"You… you have a date?" James looked at her like a deer caught in the path of a bludger. "Oh."

"What? Were you planning on actually asking me, James?" Lily looked at him squarely. "Or did you just assume as Sirius did?"

"Um…" James mumbled, his cheeks flushing. "Well, um… who'd you get to go with you?"

"I can't see how that is of any relevance!" Lily shook her head. "For someone who has made his attraction more than apparent, you seem to take for granted that anyone else may see me in the same light."

"But that's… that's… impossible." James spluttered.

"Why, because you have threatened to neuter any interested party that may have presented me with an alternative to enduring your company?" Lily raised a brow at James. "Oh yes, Potter, don't think I have been oblivious to your attempts to intimidate your competition."

"But Lily, we belong together!" James professed. "When will you see that?"

"When you stop being such an arrogant prat who thinks he can just get what he wants, when he wants, that's what!" Lily glared at her future spouse.

"Well alright then." James leant back in his seat with a stony look. "Please do disclose to us who you have selected to accompany you to the ball so I can give my blessing."

"Why do I want to seek your blessing, Potter?" asked Lily. "See this is exactly what I am talking about!"

"Look, Lily, are you going to tell us who you're going with, or not?" Sirius asked exasperatedly.

"We're all curious." Selina added, looking slightly affronted by the suggestion that her best friend had kept something like this from her. "I told you the instance Sirius asked me."

"Well fine, I will tell the girls only." Lily nodded before whispering in Selina and Estella's ears in turn.

Whilst Estella simply widened her eyes in surprise and caught the eye of Remus, who she knew from experience would have been able to overhear Lily's whispering, Selina all out had a fit.

"Oh my god! I can't believe he is actually being social!" Selina grinned maniacally. "That's brilliant!"

Of course, her happiness at the disclosure of Lily's date was exaggerated for the benefit of their clueless male audience, but it served its purpose.

"So when did he ask you? How did it happen?" Selina gawked at her friend, firing her questions at a mile a minute.

"Well…" Lily said, playing along with the theatrics and acting all dreamy. "We were in the library…"

"And?" Estella threw in for good measure.

"He was stalking around being his usual _charming_ self." Lily continued, knowing full well that the boys would misinterpret her emphasis on 'charming'.

Estella started to snigger at Lily's purely Slytherin display of misdirection.

"He made some comment about your choice of date…" She let the sentence hang, while her cohorts examined the possibilities. Across from them, the boys were looking about ready to hex someone.

"And then what happened? How did he ask you?" Selina asked eagerly.

"He didn't." Lily shrugged. "I asked him!"

"You what?" James spluttered.

"How did you get him to agree to go with you?" Estella asked her future Godmother, her lips beginning to twitch.

The grin that broke out on Lily's face was positively demonic in origin. "I told him it would piss James Potter off." She said, looking directly at James so she could savour the look on his face. "It truly did surprise me how eager Severus was after that!"

"No! No frigging way!" James said loudly. "Am I really that bad?"

"Are you out of your mind?" Sirius added. "Selina, I know he's your brother, but come on!"

"You're joking." Remus said finally, a knowing look on his face as he touched his nose. "I heard you!"

"Yes, of course I was joking." Lily shook her head. "But it was worth the look on your faces!"

"Priceless." Selina smirked. "Positively Slytherin, Lily! How'd we do?"

"Pretty good Selina. I'd say we did pretty well for the spur of the moment performance." Said Estella. Acknowledging the looks on James and Sirius' face, she smirked. "Oh, so _you_ are the only ones allowed to have a prank?"

"You do realise that you've started a war, don't you?" James said, sending the girls a malevolent looks.

"You know what would be really fun?" Sirius suggested, a glint in his eyes as he fought to get his best friend off the hook by changing the subject. "If Aries uses her time turner to attend the ball both with and without a glamour. She can take both Moony and Wormtail that way and everyone will be wondering where the new girl came from and it will be like a massive prank. Aries, what do you say? I've always wondered what you'd look like with blonde hair…"

Casting his suspicious amber eyes at his 'arranged' consort, Remus spoke up. "What do you mean, Aries has a time turner?" He asked, his unanswered questions from the previous full moon floating back to the surface.

Opposite him, Sirius recoiled suddenly as though kicked. Next to him, James was glaring at him, looking positively murderous.

"I take it Sirius just choked on his own foot." Lily said cautiously, casting a questioning look in Estella's direction. "You have a time turner?"

"It's not supposed to be public knowledge." Estella shrugged, still blanching at the thought of her father pranking her to have blonde hair as well as feeling extremely uncomfortable under her Godfather's intense gaze. '_Thanks Padfoot, nice one_!' She glared at said animagus covertly. "I don't use it or anything. Family heirloom."

In an unnoticed corner of the booth, Peter looked positively thrilled at both suggestions. It would make explaining her company to his peers so much easier if he could truthfully say he was obliged to take her… never mind that it would save him having to actually ask her himself and risk her rejection. All eyes now watched the squirming girl uncomfortably.

Suddenly, the girl's hands flew to the pendant she wore around her neck. "Ow!" She said suddenly, her voice signalling cause for alarm. "It's burning hot!"

"Let me see." Selina leaned over and touched the pendant, her finger recoiling when she felt its warmth. She gave Estella a shocked, questioning look. "Aries, who gave you this?"

"My mother." Estella said absently, her fingers fumbling for the clasp.

"Lily, what do you think?" Selina looked at her friend worriedly. "Looks like a protective charm at work to me."

"A protective charm?" Estella scowled, unable to get the pendant off. "It's hurting."

"That's not a protective charm." Remus shook his head, his eyes widening. "It's an alarm."

"Warning you that danger just apparated into Hogsmeade." James said insightfully, his jaw set in a firm line as he threw down his goblet and leapt to his feet. Outside the window, in the distance, tell tale signs of panic and hysteria could be seen.

"I think we better get back to the school, pronto!" Sirius was up in a flash, pulling Estella and Selina to their feet.

Outside, the festive crowds of locals and students were just beginning to acknowledge the sudden arrival of Death Eaters. Screams pierced the air as the masked figures began their surprise attack; the noise filtering in over the din of the busy pub, raising the alarm a moment too late. To leave via the front door was only to walk straight into the heart of the evil wizard's brazen daylight attack. Sadly, many people were unaware of the threat that Voldemort posed – Death Eaters were not a recognised force yet – and so they actually filtered out into the street to see what the commotion was. Only a wise few – those that knew an Auror, for instance and were instinctively vigilant, could sense the danger, pushing and scrambling their way towards the Floo in a horrible scene of mass hysteria.

Huddling in a corner trying to avoid the stampede while they considered their options, fear began to grip at their hearts. Trembling in the arms of their respective future husbands, the girls were manic. Estella decided to take action.

"We can't lose our heads!" She urged them forcefully. "Don't cry, Lily! Selina! I'm not suggesting we become complacent, but I can tell you we all survive this! Trust me!"

"You don't know we're safe!" James said gloomily, his knuckles going white as they tightened around his wand.

"Where's Peter?" Sirius asked suddenly, his voice highly pitched.

_'He's probably gone to meet his friends' _Estella wanted to say. "I think I saw him transform. He's probably run up some place high to stay out of reach… that or we'll get home to find him in the pocket of one of our cloaks."

"He should be so lucky to have such a small form." Sirius sighed.

"Padfoot may come in handy just yet." James said hurriedly. "I can't say the same for Prongs, unfortunately, but any shit-eating scum looking to ambush people out back would hardly look at a dog foraging through the garbage."

"The back way then?" Selina asked, feeling sufficiently empowered by her fellow Ravenclaw's level headedness.

Sirius nodded. "Honeydukes is in the next street over, close to directly behind this pub. If the alleys are clear we should have a clear shot to get into the cellar and get to the passageway."

"No." Estella contravened her father. "Too risky. They would have undoubtedly placed lookouts in the alleyways behind the stores before they started their frontal attack. It's an effective tactical advantage. Maximises the casualties."

"We'll have better chances in the alley than going out the front door!" Remus argued, choosing at that time not to question the girl's intimate knowledge of enemy tactics. "They'll be in here before everyone can Floo out. That's not including if they disconnect the connection first."

"Where do you suggest we go?" James asked, pushing his glasses up, his grave face belying a surprising maturity.

"The attic." Estella said, discarding her own useless glasses in frustration as the moisture on her nose caused them to slip irritably. "If Honeydukes is behind us on the same terrace then the attics will be all interconnected. In any event it will bring us closer to the store without drawing attention to ourselves."

"Knew there was a reason we sat right near the stairs." Sirius exclaimed in approval, leading the way up the deserted staircase.

The entry point into the communal attic-space was nothing more than the size of a small manhole. Sirius, James and Remus were lucky for their lanky teenaged forms as they barely managed to squeeze through. There was no way a fully-grown dark wizard in full ceremonial garb was going to be able to fit in the tiny hole. All they had to do was not be heard… and get out of harms way before the attacking forces started doing something drastic, like trying to burn the buildings down.

Sirius had, without prompting, transformed into his animagus form and taken the lead. Even as Padfoot he had to crawl with the rest of them, but at least he had his canine senses of smell and hearing to warn them of approaching danger. Estella's pendant, on the other hand, was thrumming at a consistently low burn – not quite as severe as the initial warning had been, but indicative that they were not out of the woods yet.

They kept tabs on where they were by the store numbers that were embossed on the manholes they passed. Unfortunately for them, however, Honeydukes was in the next line of terraces, and they would not be able to descend directly into the store itself. They would have to go into the alley that separated the two blocks of buildings.

"Damn!" James muttered.

"It's alright." Remus sighed. "We at least appear to have passed the epicentre of the attack. Hopefully they have already moved on from here."

"Yeah. It's quiet as death down below." Sirius said, changing back. "And it's not like we're not intimately familiar with this particular alley. Thank Merlin Honeydukes has a cellar door directly into the alley, we won't have to go out into the street or go near the backdoor; which is more likely to be watched."

"It's just getting out of this building." Selina grumbled, anxious to stretch her legs, which were beginning to cramp. Crawling through such a small channel in single file with drawn wands was slow and tedious work. They weren't in an attic so much as they were in a shared ventilation shaft.

The building they were in was the post office. Strategically placed between Honeydukes and the apothecary, with Zonko's a little way up across the road, it was a prime location for people who wished to buy gifts then send them away. Mercifully, those of the post owls that were not out seeing to Christmas deliveries had fled the attic Owlery that they had tumbled into. Such was the open layout of the post office, that the fleeing teens were extremely lucky the building was empty of prying eyes. They would have surely been seen otherwise.

Creeping their way to the back of the store and tiptoeing down a hidden employee's staircase, the group made it safely to the ground floor. Now to make it through the alley unseen and into the Honeyduke's cellar; and they would be home free.

Walking into the rear storeroom to exit through the refuse flap that would give them advantageous cover behind the trashcans in the alley, lining them up directly across from the trapdoor into Honeyduke's Cellar and hopefully out of sight of any lingering forces watching the backdoors; the mere students happened upon a horrific sight: Mr and Mrs Deliverance, the owners of the Port Office, clearly dead; killed in the most unimaginable way possible. They were lucky, then, for James' Quidditch reflexes as he heard his girlfriend's sharp intake of breath, the intuitive young man able to smother the shocked girl's scream with his hand before any telling sound could escape.

"Guess they've moved on." Sirius said sadly, in reference to the direction in which the Death Eaters were systematically attacking the peaceful Wizarding village. None of the teens had any clue on what help had arrived from the Ministry. For all they knew they were all alone against them.

Estella took in the mangled, pained forms of the old Postmaster and his wife and shivered. A revealing memory came to mind only too late.

"Don't look at them." Sirius said worriedly, pulling his distracted friend away from the carnage. "You'll have nightmares."

"Too late for that." Estella said simply, not just referring to the recent atrocity she had just witnessed. Particularly, she was thinking about their son. He ran the Post Office in her time… his parents known to have died early in the war. Growing up with stories of how people died and then suddenly being confronted with the immediacy of it, Estella couldn't help but feel a feeling of helplessness. Surely there was something she could have done to prevent this?

"Don't." Selina said, pulling her away. "Don't even think of using it. Some things are meant to happen."

Estella nodded. It was hardly the time or place to pick apart one's decisions, though it did slightly unnerve her that in all her time going to school in the village she had never heard about this attack. She'd heard about people who had died in the war, but never were they led to believe that the said war was on their doorstep! To think if they had marked this date in history and studied it in class she may have been able to warn the Headmaster.

"Aries!" James added, watching on in horror as the girl reached for her pocket. "No!"

Estella sighed and nodded. Perhaps she should have taken the time turner to Dumbledore straight away after all and accepted the fate he had in store for her.

"Aries?" Sirius urged, all but pushing her unresponsive body through the flap and into the alleyway. "Stay down!"

Complying numbly, Estella could only watch as the group congregated on the other side of the wall and plotted their next move: the 4-metre dash to the cellar door. One by one they made it across the alley unseen; but as fate would have it, their run of luck was soon to run out.

People were hiding in the cellar… and they had locked the trapdoor.

"Please! Let us in!" They began pounding frantically. "We're Hogwarts Students!"

"How can we believe you?" An unidentified voice wavered from the other side of the wood. "No one but us got past them."

"Please! My name is Lily Evans, I am a Muggleborn student. Fifth year Gryffindor!" Lily pleaded, trying to negotiate levelly. "Is there a teacher with you? They will surely be able to verify our identity!"

There was a slight scuffle below them, and then a weakened, pained voice called out to them.

"I am a Hogwarts Professor! Identify yourselves." The familiar voice of Henry Potter was gruff and meant business.

"Professor Potter!" Lily cried, closely echoed by four equally relieved exclamations of "Harry!" and one lone "Dad! Get us out of here!"

Below them, Henry Potter's voice was panicked. "James, son? Is everyone with you? Stand back, and take cover, it will take a few moments to lower the wards… damn it!" The authoritative Auror paused to instruct people to help him lower the wards. "I'm coming kiddo. Hold on."

The kids hid beside the trapdoor, slightly less frightened than they were a few moments ago now that the end was in sight.

"He's hurt." James whispered worriedly to no one in particular. "I can hear it in his voice."

"He could just be worried sick about us, mate." Sirius tried to reassure his friend.

"We haven't seen any of those Dark Wizards." Lily assured him. "They've already canvassed this area. We'll be home before you know it."

"I wouldn't count on that if I were you." A talk fearsome Death Eater Estella immediately recognised as Lucius Malfoy leered at them malevolently, having just apparated into the alley with two gorilla like men flanking him.

_'Beavis and Butthead Senior' _Estella would have smirked if she wasn't in such strife. At least she knew from their children's example that Malfoy was the most threatening one to watch for.

"My Lord will be so interested to hear how six mere students managed to escape our sweeps." He continued, levelling his wand.

Rising to her full height. Estella looked the Death Eater head on. "Lucius Malfoy." She stated, taking a defensive stance in front of her friends – her family. Then, echoing Lucius' own words from his future, she smirked. "That ugly mask really does not do justice to the imposing Malfoy gait, has anyone ever told you that?"

"You must be the transfer student." Lucius drawled. "I see my reputation precedes me. Stupefy!"

Estella quickly cast the strongest shield she knew, trying to wonder why she had been so surprised that Peter had sold them out.

"Get back!" Sirius tugged at her, trying to shield her with his own body and array of defensive spells.

Looking behind her, she could see Remus, Lily and Selina working at disabling the wards on the trapdoor from the outside while James covered them; though Estella doubted it would be of much help now, bar a miracle. Remaining defiantly at her father's side she managed to shout to him between curses.

"Concentrate on watching your own arse, you overly chivalrous git." She hissed, referring back to their first DADA lesson together and Professor Potter's insistence that men and women were equal in battle. Thankfully he got the point and she didn't need to elaborate.

The door now un-warded, Remus leapt into he fray, working seamlessly with Estella as his influence over her teachings began to manifest themselves, complimenting the future Defence Teacher's developing form with great effect. Between they, James, Sirius, and the decisive intervention of a extremely ticked off redhead and Snape (a lethal combination in itself when crossed, as the Marauders had come to realise over the years), the group of mismatched fifth years were about to come out victorious in their very first, proper duel.

"Thank Merlin!" Henry Potter crawled out of the cellar, wrapping his son into a fierce hug. His leg was bleeding and bent at an odd angle, and his face was ashen. "I could hear the curses! Let's get you kids out of here before their friends come looking. Everyone else has already gone through the tunnel."

Selina and Lily didn't need telling twice – they were already down the hatch as soon as their teacher had come out.

"Ferula!" Estella pointed her wand at the injured leg of her teacher. "Honestly, you call yourself a _Professor_! It would have taken, what, two seconds to stabilise your injuries? You're no good to us broken!"

No one needed to be told she was supplementing the title of 'Professor' for his true title of 'Auror' – her first lesson in his class leaving an impression in her mind.

"You should have heard yourself, Daddio!" James smirked. "'I am a Hogwarts Professor!'… One for the pensieve…"

"Shut up, brat. We're not safe yet." Henry scolded the increasingly complacent teens. "At least your women have the right idea."

"You next, sir." Estella insisted, grabbing the man under one arm and nodding to Sirius, who had taken the hint and followed suit. "You can't get down unaided. Remus, do me a favour and duck down before Harry here and help him?"

Recognising the tone he had so habitually come to associate as not being one to argue with, Remus complied instantaneously.

"James, you next." She half shoved the younger Potter down the hole after his father. Predictably, James resisted; and Sirius grabbed her arm.

"We don't have time for blasted male chivalry!" She shook them off.

The chilling sound of someone clapping behind them sent shivers down their spines.

"Quite right, quite right." A bemused male's voice applauded her selflessness. "How quaint. The girl placing a boy's life before her own… and the boy letting her."

"Rack off, Tom." Estella said, spinning around to face the human visage of the Dark Lord – Voldemort, at the peak of his power, the girl all too familiar with who the Dark Lord used to be, courtesy of Harry having told her about his trip into the Chamber.

Her false sense of bravado was enough to distract him; enough to end any arguments she had with James and Sirius and slam the trapdoor shut behind them.

"Damn it!" Sirius cried, trying to reopen the trapdoor, but to no avail. Similar to the kind of intrinsic, self-preserving accidental magic that Estella had tapped into each time her life had been in danger, Estella had impenetrably sealed the trapdoor without a spoken word. To risk her father's life at this time would be jeopardising her own existence. "We have to help her! Do you know who's out there? No one has gone one on one with him and lived to kiss and tell!"

Henry and the girls had already made a head start down through the tunnel. It was just James, Remus and Sirius in the room.

"She knows what she's doing, Pads." James tried to soothe his friend. "Believe me, I want nothing more than to go and help the kid… but the door is sealed pretty firmly. She'll probably use the time turner and get away anyway."

"James is right." Remus admitted. "She'll go back two hours, go back to the castle and come out of that tunnel any moment to take us back."

Two sets of eyes joined their friend's in looking at the unassuming tunnel entrance hopefully, just waiting for the trapdoor to open and reunite them with the welcome face of their friend, who was, at that moment, still stuck in a one on one confrontation with the most feared Dark Wizard in the last century.

* * *

"WHAT, did you call me?" Voldemort hissed. 

"Tom." Estella shrugged. "It is your name, is it not?"

"I am Lord Voldemort, you foolish child." Voldemort corrected the child who, for all intensive purposes, had his curiosity piqued. "I find it rude that a child should want to be on such familiar terms with me when I do not know who you are… Mudblood."

"Sticks and stones may break my bones…" Estella taunted, her candour belying her fear.

Voldemort was incensed. "Crucio!" He roared, sending a violent red spark of light shooting from his wand. To his surprise, the lithe young girl rolled and dodged the spell.

Under normal circumstances, Estella would be scared out of her brain, wallowing in her own involuntary excrement; but this was different. She had a purpose: to ensure that those who had yet to give her life got away; and despite knowing she could never hope to hold her own against such a dark force, she felt at home in a duelling scenario. Years of training slipped her mind into automatic drive, and, clearing her mind and using her sharp tongue as a weapon, she sought to destabilise her foe. After all, an angered foe would be more likely to make a mistake… and she knew that was the only way she'd have a chance.

Her whole life seems to have been building up to that moment. Now was the time she could finally put all of her Uncle and Godfather's dedicatedly imparted efforts to good use.

"So, the little nymph knows how to last." Voldemort admitted bemusedly, underestimating the strange girl's prowess. "We could be powerful allies."

"Oh right. One minute I'm a filthy Mudblood, the next I'm worthy to be your ally." Estella retorted, wincing as a stabbing hex glanced her arm. "For all you know I could be a filthy Mudblood who just happens to have had a very good teacher."

"If your blood was dirty you would not be so practiced." Voldemort noted.

"Is that a compliment, Tom? Flattered. Truly, I am." Estella mocked. "Though that's the pot calling the cauldron black, Riddle. How's your father?"

"Don't call me that." Voldemort spat. "I am tiring of your games."

"What do you want, then?" Estella asked gasping in more pain as she endured the bludgeoning hex that glanced her right shoulder after the wry old man anticipated her block. "This is really not how I had envisioned spending my afternoon! I'm never going to get my shopping done now!"

"Enough!" Voldemort roared, sending her flying into some dustbins on the other side of the alley with a well-aimed hex. "Join me! Don't make me destroy you!"

Tired and broken, Estella groaned from her place on the stack of garbage and struggled to haul herself up again.

'No way am I going to go down in history as the girl who was found dead on a pile of rubbish!' She convinced herself as her hand fumbled in her pocket for her time turner. The inspiration to go back two hours hitting her full force.

Two hours and she'd be able to warn people of the attack. One and a half turns – that's all it would take, tops.

"'Don't make me destroy you!'" Estella mocked flippantly, trying to buy herself time while she struggled to wind the time turner one handed as her hand fumbled in her pocket. "Merlin Tom, all you need is a respirator and a light sabre and you could be Darth Vader."

* * *

Below them, watching from a tiny porthole in the cellar door, James, Remus and Sirius waited with baited breath. 

"Come on, use the bloody thing!" James crossed his fingers.

"Don't push your luck!" Sirius groaned.

Given the nature of the unique ward keeping them safe, the most inseparable contingent of the Marauders could hear most everything that was being said in the alley above them. Every curse, every hit, every miss… every step of the battle raging ahead without them would travel down into their safe cocoon in a myriad of sounds and colour.

As afraid as he was for her, however, the boys could not help but be impressed. She was pushing all of the evil git's buttons, and lasting exceptionally well. Merlin knows what they'd tell the girls if anything happened to her, but they could only cross that bridge when the time came.

"She's going for her time turner!" Remus nudged him excitedly. "She's got her hand in her pocket!"

"She's pulling it out of her pocket!" James concurred. "Yep, definitely got it sitting in her hand. We should go."

"No, we should wait." Sirius said, his throat parched in nerves.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" The Dark Lord screamed, catching on to what the illusive child was trying to do.

The alley was flooded with green light, sending blinding beams of the offending hue filtering through the cracks that the boys were watching from. By the time their eyes had adjusted to the sudden onset of light, however, it was too late to see what had transpired.

The Dark Lord was walking away, and that could only mean one thing.

End Chapter: Unforgettable Yuletide


	86. Second Chances, Painful Admissions

Disclaimer: Not mine

Updated: Tuesday 7th June 2005

**Chapter Eighty Six: Second Chances, Painful Admissions.**

When Estella opened her eyes, the world around her was spinning. Coming to her senses, she quickly rolled and flipped over into a defensive stance, her mind expecting to see her opponent bearing down on her at any moment. Darting her eyes back and forth warily, however, Estella was quick to discover that she was alone in the alley.

Voldemort was gone.

Glancing at her watch impulsively, Estella mentally slapped herself when she realised it wouldn't be able to give her the answers she sought. Since it had been on her person, the time-telling device would not have registered the passing of time any more efficiently than she was able to discern for herself. The last thing she remembered was fumbling with the time turner distractedly as Voldemort tired of her and threw the curses to end all curses. Evidently, she had evaded the effects of the curse by activating the time turner successfully; but the question of just how successful the device had been was still unknown.

To her dismay, Estella could not find the said item on her person. Instinctively, she started to look for it on the ground around her, but then, she realised with a start, if she had dropped it then it wouldn't have been able to take her anywhere… but as it stood, it was like it never existed, for it was nowhere to be found.

Realisation dawning on her features, Estella gasped. Had she broken it? It appeared that she had… but in that case, where in time was she? Why didn't it send her back to the same moment she left her time in the first place? She'd broken the time turner in the past before she ever had the opportunity to break it in the first instance.

But then, James had always been the one who saved Severus that night… and he had only been able to do so with the time turner. It became even clearer that it was a journey she was destined to take… but it still didn't give her an indication of what the date was at that moment. By the ambient temperature and distant sound of carollers in the street, it appeared to be the same time of year that it was when she was in the past.

"So we meet again." A familiar voice drawled behind her, sounding all the more older than it had been the last time she had heard it.

Estella froze. "Malfoy." She said in acknowledgement, turning to greet her company.

"For a long time we were inclined to believe the curse had killed every evidence of your existence." Malfoy looked her up and down appraisingly. "But it appears your little friend was right."

"My little friend?" Estella glared at him questioningly, her wand not too far away.

"Wasn't a very good idea telling your friends about their unborn children… Estella." Lucius' eyes glinted in triumph as the girl before him visibly flinched. "You know if more people had paid attention to Peter's deductive abilities, I daresay he might not have been turned."

"What did you call me?" Estella asked defiantly, feigning ignorance. "I am afraid you have me mistaken for someone else."

"You can desist with the act, Miss Black." Lucius sneered. "Your uncle has already told us all we need to know."

"My Uncle?" Estella asked, still trying to maintain the charade that she was Aries Ollerton, despite the fact her mind was falling apart.

"The Dark Lord will be quite affronted to learn that you were the one to defy him." Lucius sighed mockingly. "To think I myself had envisioned a better future for you with my son. How sad that all those years of your Uncle's hard work went to ruin after just one Summer with your father."

"My Father?" Estella furrowed her brow dumbly.

"He kidnapped you, so Severus tells us." Lucius said. "Brainwashed you too by the looks of it. Come, my Master will want to learn of your purposes in the past."

"Right." Estella scoffed, edging stiffly towards the cellar door that lead into Honeydukes, her injuries from her last encounter with the evil wizard still evident. "Are you sure he just doesn't want to pick up where we'd left off?"

"Time heals all wounds, Estella." Lucius intoned, his lips curling when he took in her dishevelled state. "Well… most of them anyway."

"I don't believe you." Estella replied warily, her wand levelled.

"You underestimate the value of your bloodlines, Estella." Lucius shook his head sadly. "He is growing in strength, child, but even he would be remiss to let such an asset slip through his fingers."

"And yet you come to fetch me!" Estella sneered, waving her wand. "Stupefy!"

Lucius blocked the stunner lazily and shook his head.

"Foolish child. Do you not realise I have almost twenty years experience on the day we last duelled?" He said silkily. "You don't have your merry little band of long-dead friends to help you anymore. You will not beat me again."

"You know what, you're right." Estella said flippantly, now standing casually beside the cellar door. She could only hope she could get in. "Reducto!"

* * *

Severus Snape had been on edge all day. At first he thought it was on account of the extra festivities the school was undertaking – he had been none too pleased when Dumbledore had requested his presence at the school over the holidays, especially when he discovered over half the school would be remaining for the Yule Ball – but as the day wore on, it became apparent that it was something else. 

Then it hit him. That day was the anniversary of Estella's disappearance from the past. A tight feeling constricted in his chest… he had known about the attack on Hogsmeade in advance, and he hadn't said anything. That so many people had died that day, or had been injured, had started a chain reaction of doubts that would not reach fruition for another three years after that. It was one thing to be a valued potions brewer within Voldemort's recruits. While the concoctions he brewed were quite often variations of heinous poisons, it was much easier to disassociate oneself with reality by not thinking about how they would be used.

For years, he'd managed to fool himself into believing the virtue of Voldemort's political affirmations – and as for the carnage, well as the Muggle evolutionist Charles Darwin had said, 'survival of the fittest'. That day in Hogsmeade, however, a younger Severus Snape had witnessed first hand the indiscriminate methodology to Voldemort's madness. At that point in history, Voldemort was only just being recognised as a formidable threat. His calculated, full frontal attack on the small Wizarding village served well as a public declaration of his power, of his intent. His self-fashioned 'dark mark' blazed through the sky for the first time that day, and he got it in his mind to brand his followers with his symbol in the months after.

His mind invariably landing on Estella, Severus paced the sanctuary of his quarters irritably. Where was she? Almost of its own volition, his body made its way into his niece's bedroom. Shortly after Estella had disappeared, Severus had moved some of her things back into the bedroom she had grown up in. Lupin and Black had been uncooperative at first, but it stood to reason that should the child return, her first port of call would likely be the school; and so it paid dividends to have a room ready for her there.

Leaning against the doorframe forlornly, Severus' heart sighed. Though he had tried to recreate his niece's presence when organising her room in a way he most remembered it, the room was but a hollow shell without its owner in it.

"Estella, where are you?" He whispered into the empty room.

* * *

Some distance across England, Sirius Black was unwittingly mirroring his brother-in-law's hurried movements. Pacing the study of the Noble House of Black, Sirius was going out of his mind. 

Today was the anniversary of Estella's disappearance from the past.

That morning, he'd invariably awoken from a nightmare… no, not a nightmare, but a vivid recollection of his daughter's last moments in the past. Over and over those last seconds replayed in his mind as he tried to identify any new evidence that might lend itself to his daughter's current whereabouts.

While the optimistic part of his mind liked to think that his daughter's disappearance from the past signalled her return to the future, here, in the future, Sirius could only wonder when that return would be. The longer time went on without word, the more his heart sank – it becoming increasingly apparent that something had gone terribly wrong that day in the alley.

Reflecting on another event in the past – one that he was blessedly the only person alive who could still remember what had happened – Sirius reflected on the night that rewound. It had been years since he'd last paid Aries Ollerton a second thought. He supposed it was partially because of her sudden departure as well as because of his residual guilt for what had originally happened, but he'd all but pushed his memory of the girl to the back of his memory. That was, of course, until the revelation that Aries Ollerton was really his daughter.

"Merlin!" Sirius ran a weary hand across his unshaven face. "What did I do?"

Though he could rest assured that neither Aries – Estella – or Remus had any actual recollection of what had happened that night in the Shrieking Shack, it was something that had all the more meaning to him now. Ever since the revelation, he had been unable to accompany his friend over the full moon. Now, whenever he saw Moony, he saw not the lupine form of his last living friend; nor did he see the alluring potential for adventure. Instead, he saw blood. Moony's bloodied jaw as he pulled away from his daughter's lifeless body.

That Estella had been disguised as Aries Ollerton brought him some reprieve for he had been unable to reconcile the girl's fine honey brown hair with his daughter's wild, glossy black locks. During the day he was able to disassociate himself from the memory, much like he had in the years following its undoing. But ever since he discovered that it was actually his daughter, his nights were disrupted by the disturbing image of his daughter's face on Aries' body. In his dreams, it was he who had led Estella to her doom, foolish in the belief that Remus, as his daughter's Godfather, would not harm the child. In his dreams, there was no time turner.

"Sirius!" Remus' voice roused him from his thoughts, and he turned to face his oldest friend, a startled look on his face as she struggled to shake the irrational dream from his mind.

Looking for all intensive purposes like he had just outrun a Centaur, Remus struggled to catch his breath. Clearly, he had just run from whatever far reaching alcove of the house he had been in, to where he was now.

"Estella…" Remus panted, leaning over to rest his hands on his knees while he collected himself. "Today…"

"Yes, Remus, I know." Sirius said sadly, his eyes flying to the fireplace in a attempt to shield his tears from view. "Twenty years…"

"Yes!" The incoherent werewolf exclaimed, apparently reinvigorated as he crossed the room to grab Sirius by the shoulders. "Do you know what it means?"

"Moony, what are you getting at?" Sirius frowned, unnerved by his friend's excitement.

"Today, Padfoot! It could be today!" Remus said. "We have to get to Hogsmeade!"

Meanwhile, at Hogwarts, a dark eyed Slytherin was drawing the same conclusion.

* * *

The blasting curse, she'd sent hurtling above Malfoy, where his defensive shield was ineffective, hit its intended target of a earthenware window box directly above his head. As she had hoped, the heavy, laden box fell from its mounting and shattered on the unsuspecting mane of her opponent, dazing him long enough for Estella to get away. It paid to read up on Defensive charms – especially the little overlooked fact that they did not work against non-magical threats… such as falling garden equipment. 

Wincing in sympathy, Estella committed the sight of the soiled Malfoy patriarch to memory and wasted no time in getting into the Honeydukes cellar. As determined as the albino haired wizard was, Estella knew he would not follow her into a public place, lest of all onto the Hogwarts grounds. Especially not since there was now a chance that someone else could have seen her in the meantime.

Quickly making her way through the tunnel, towards the statue of the one-eyed witch, Estella was oblivious to the dramas unfolding overhead.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Two voices spluttered at each other as they crossed paths in the all-too-familiar alleyway less than half an hour after the object of their mutual thoughts had vacated the scene. Beside the lighter-haired of the two, a dog barked. 

"I should think that's obvious, Severus." Remus said irritably, his senses trying to pick up some sign of his goddaughter. Ahead of him, Sirius – in his animagus form – was prowling the alleyway, his animagus nose pressed to the ground.

"I see you've bought your stray." Severus leered, glaring at the mangy looking black dog, which was now pawing and whining at a disturbance in the earth. He was still coming to terms with the revelation that the marauders were all Animagi.

"What is it, Snuffles?" Remus rushed to the dog's side, his dormant lupine senses able to detect a muted scent of fear and kin. His eyes taking in the sight of the broken window box and curse marks on the walls and alleyway floor, panic began to grip him as he looked from Severus to Padfoot in turn.

"What?" Severus asked, refusing to believe what his eyes were also seeing. "What is it, Lupin?"

"We're too late." A choked voice joined them, as a despondent looking Sirius Black transformed in the shadows. "She's been and gone."

"That's not all." Remus said, grimacing as he stood over the spilled contents of the window box where a second scent was tickling his senses the strongest. "She had company."

"Who?" Two heads spun to look at him warily.

"Malfoy." Remus said, his voice thick through the lump that was forming in his throat. "We just missed them."

A loud clatter rang out through the alleyway as Sirius cursed and kicked a garbage can.

"How on earth did he think to come here before we did?" Sirius scolded himself, his hands balling into fists as he thumped the brick wall in frustration.

"How could we be so stupid!" Remus concurred. "We couldn't get here in time. We were too far away."

"Not all of us." Sirius spat, rounding on Severus. "You were so close, Snape! Where were you? Why didn't you do anything to stop this?"

Severus said nothing. What could he say?

"Leave him alone, Sirius. It's not his fault." Remus said gently, moving over to his friend to put a stabilising hand on his shoulder. "None of us realised…"

"What do you mean, it's not his fault?" Sirius spat. "My child has been kidnapped, how can there be no one at fault?"

"I suggest you start looking a little closer to home, then." Severus said coolly.

"Why? You're the one who let her find the goddamn time turner in the first place!" Sirius roared.

"You're the one's who left it within reach of a de-aged child!" Severus retorted scathingly.

"She was back to her own age, no thanks to you!" Sirius reminded him, his voice rising an octave.

"Sirius, calm down, you'll draw attention to yourself." Remus tried hopelessly to placate his tempered friend. "Listen to yourselves, both of you, this isn't helping Estella!"

"Don't you think I know that, wolf?" Severus hissed.

"Sometimes I don't think you do." Remus stared at him levelly. "It was this kind of fighting that caused the accident in the first place."

The two men huffed indignantly, but altogether remained silent.

"Now, how do you suggest we work together to find out where Estella went?" Remus suggested.

"Well it's quite obvious that Malfoy took her!" Sirius said worriedly to Remus before glaring at Severus. "Perhaps one of us could make ourselves useful by running to their little friends and finding out what they know."

"Perhaps if certain people were a little more careful in choosing their friends, Malfoy wouldn't have known to come here today!" Severus said haughtily, spinning on his heels and sweeping away.

Behind him, a disgruntled animagus transformed and barked out his frustration – after all, a barking dog would draw less attention than a screaming man.

"Come on, Snuffles." Remus sighed. "Let's go see Dumbledore."

The dog animagus automatically walked towards the cellar door, only to be held back by his lycan friend.

"No, I think we could both do with the fresh air." Remus said, unwittingly pulling his friend away from the source of all their answers.

* * *

Making her way into the school, Estella was at odds about what to do. For all appearances, she had returned to a time not long after she had first left her time… and apparently the past ran concurrently to the present for it was quite close to Christmas, if the snow outside was anything to go by. 

While part of her supposed she should probably really go and seek out Dumbledore, a baser, more irrational part of herself just wanted to make sure her uncle was alright. She dreaded to think that her behaviour in the past may have endangered her Uncle's cover here, in this time. No one was supposed to figure out who she really was. Evidently her uncle had managed to convince his peers that her attitude had been swayed by her father's influence, but Estella still worried about what punishment may have befallen the man for letting her be in the presence of such influence at all. By all definition, Estella was supposed to hate her father and everything he stood for, and Severus was supposed to be capable of cold blooded murder. No excuse, therefore, for her successful 'kidnapping' (by Sirius), that would spare her uncle responsibility could come to mind.

"Uncle Sev?" She called out as she entered the comfortingly consistent dungeon quarters.

Finding only that the rooms looked like they had been vacated in a hurry – and recently so, too – Estella pushed open the door to her old bedroom wearily, with intentions of resting. Surprised – pleasantly so – to find her room more or less how it used to be before her father had escaped from Azkaban, Estella was delighted to be reunited with her belongings.

As she got a much firmer grip on her bearings, however, two things came to mind. Firstly, what were her things doing back here? Had something happened to her father and godfather? Bile rising in her throat, Estella started to shake uncontrollably, she didn't want to even think of something like that happening. It was the second thing, however, that distressed her even more.

Three people she had come to know and love were now dead… and had been now for over thirteen years.

"No!" Estella strangled her sobs into her pillow. In her mind she had only just seen James, Lily and Selina a few short hours ago. The contents of their last lunch together were still digesting in her system… the little money she had to go shopping with in their company still burning a reminding hole in her pocket. They had been in the prime of their lives… together they had taken down three of Voldemort's recruits, and they had been happy with the victory. Mr Potter had been so proud of them.

Mr Potter was dead too.

"It's not fair!" Estella cried angrily into her pillow, her breath hitching into uncontrollable hiccups as the sudden force of her loss took her breath away. "I didn't get to say goodbye!"

Berating herself further about how could she just disappear from their lives like that and worry them – many of them never to know who she was or that she was now alright – Estella cried herself to sleep.

* * *

When Severus had returned to his quarters, he still didn't know what to do. Should he Floo Malfoy directly, or wait to hear for word? Flooing the man without invitation might compromise his position and endanger the situation irrevocably, he knew, but what about Estella in the meantime? What was Lucius doing to her? How much did he know about her time in the past? Would Peter be with him, helping him extract information? 

Severus didn't even want to think of the Dark Lord. Asides from indirect encounters with the man through the unfortunate host his former master had commandeered several years previously, Severus had not had an audience with the Dark Lord since prior to that fateful Halloween, some thirteen years ago. Word had it that the man – and he used the term loosely – was gaining strength, and had a plan to regain physical form. Severus, however, was not high enough in the hierarchy to witness the monster in his present state; so he could only hope that the evil wizard was, for the time being, too incapacitated to meter out any form of retribution just yet.

Fetching himself a calming draught, Severus reflected on the cover story he had fed Lucius when his niece had gone missing. Technically, the greasy haired Slytherin was not lying when he admitted that Estella had been kidnapped by her father, and that her perspectives were likely being altered. The anger and betrayal he'd expressed towards Estella for Lucius' benefit was also not entirely contrived. Part of him would always feel that way for how readily Estella had taken to the man. What Lucius didn't realise, however, was that Severus would never begrudge the child for that.

From his last correspondence with Lucius, Peter Pettigrew had sought out the elder Malfoy and confessed his suspicions about Estella. For reasons unbeknown to Severus, Malfoy evidently believed Peter's claim to have merit, else he would not have just gone to the alleyway, anticipating her return. Kicking the leg of his ottoman in frustration, Severus cursed himself for not anticipating this turn of events and being better prepared for his niece's return.

She had been unprotected.

The only comfort Severus could draw from the situation was that Malfoy still held the combined bloodlines of Estella's heritage in high regard. Neither the Snape or Black lines exhibited much promise in its ancestry, but combined, Severus supposed it represented something of a dying breed.

Purity. Hopefully that fact would buy her some time and she wouldn't have been killed outright.

Just as Severus was about to sink heavily into his favoured armchair, something caught his eye. The door to Estella's room was slightly ajar, and he could have sworn that he'd closed it firmly when he'd vacated it last.

Wand at the ready and mask firmly in place, Severus glided sinuously towards the child's room, completely and utterly unprepared for what he found there.

Estella.

Dropping his wand in his shock, Severus stood agape in the doorway, his mask shattered into a thousand pieces.

The child had at some point removed the glamour concealing her appearance, and lay crumpled on the bed; all a big pile of robes and hair. Cautiously moving closer – for fear that she may disappear in front of his very eyes should he do anything to wake himself from this dream – Severus assessed his niece more thoroughly. Her shoulder hung stiffly at her side, the material of her robes pulled tightly over the swollen flesh; and blood from a cut on her forehead had crusted in her hair and provided a canvas for the tears that stained her face. In one hand, the child still grasped her wand tightly… her delicate little knuckles skinned raw and bruised… while the other hand curled protectively around the neck of her favourite toy dog, which she had half buried her face into.

What had the poor child been through? Was it Malfoy who did this to her? How on earth did she overcome him?

Then it occurred to him that she had been attacked by the Dark Lord himself when she had disappeared from the past, and upon her return had evidently had to get past Malfoy. It was amazing that she was even breathing.

Taking another hesitant step towards the child, Severus froze when Estella flinched, her eyes flying open wildly and her hand tightening its grip on her wand.

"Estella?" Severus said softly, dropping to his knees in front of the child's bed so he could be at eye level with the disorientated child. Leaning forward slightly and resting his hand on her wand hand gently, he lowered it. "It's alright. You're home."

"I know." Estella replied, choking on a sob as her lower lip quivered, the pain of her comparatively recent loss overwhelming her. "We had the rosemary lamb stew for lunch… I didn't get to say g-g-goodbye."

Recognising his sister's favourite dish, Severus' heart constricted in an all too familiar grip. "I'm sorry, Estella." He said, for lack of anything better to say.

"I couldn't even tell her… she didn't even know…" She stammered incoherently.

Remembering Lupin and Black's recount of that day, Severus reached forward and cradled the pendant Estella wore in his hand. "They tell me this warned you." He stated clearly. "That Selina… your mother… she touched it?"

"Yes." Estella nodded slightly, her heart heaving at the comparatively recent memory.

"Your mother charmed this pendant, Estella." Severus said, looking her squarely in the eye. "Do you know what that means?" Estella shook her head. "It means she would have been able to recognise her own magical signature."

Estella's eyes widened in surprise. "Why didn't she say anything?"

"I don't know." Severus admitted painfully. "Maybe she respected your need for secrecy. Maybe things were happenings so fast she didn't realise it straight away. All I know is that she'd had to have had some suspicion when the time came for her to craft this pendant." He, of course, had no idea if Selina recognised the pendant she designed for her child as belonging to a classmate from her past, but at this point he was willing to do anything to make the child feel better.

"Smart woman." Estella smiled weakly, a faraway look in her eyes.

Pushing himself off his knees and taking a seat on the edge of Estella's bed, Severus was alarmed to see the child flinch as the movement on her bed disturbed her injuries.

"You're injured." He stated dumbly.

"Really, you think?" Estella croaked, her voice laced with pain as she struggled to sit up.

"I will levitate you to the infirmary." Severus warned her, drawing her wand.

"My legs still work." Estella scoffed in response, moving to swing her legs off the side of the bed, grimacing when her body started to protest. "I got all the way here by myself, you know." She added, not needing to specify how much more worse off she would be if she hadn't been able to get out of that alleyway and into the tunnel. "I'm not going to pack it in now!"

"You've grown." Severus stated, surprised at her determination to be self-sufficient. Catching her around the waist, she willingly leant on him as he guided her out of her room. Inwardly he was amazed at how like him she was behaving – he wouldn't have taken very lightly to the idea of being levitated anywhere. "Do you feel up to using the Floo, or shall we walk?"

"Floo." Estella winced, reaching for the Floo Powder. "Get it over with."

"We'll do it together." Severus stated, tucking the child close to him as he guided them both into the fireplace once Estella had thrown in the powder. "HOGWARTS INFIRMARY!"

* * *

"Poppy!" Severus called out as he caught Estella as she stumbled out of the Floo painfully. "Come, child, let's get you onto a bed." 

"Why did I agree to come?" Estella grumbled as her uncle half carried her to a bed. "My bed downstairs was perfectly comfortable. These things are like boards!"

"I will transfigure it into something more comfortable once you are settled." Severus promised. Behind them, a woman gasped.

"Oh my goodness!" Madame Pomfrey gasped as she saw who her latest patient was. "Severus, when did she return?"

"Hallo, Madame Pomfrey." Estella rolled her eyes. "I'm injured, not dead. I've been back for a couple of hours."

"I only just found her." Severus said quickly. "She was asleep in her room."

"Asleep in her room?" Madame Pomfrey screeched incredulously. "You are entirely too much like your Uncle, child! You should have come straight here."

Estella shrugged. "Too many stairs."

Severus had to bite back a smirk.

"Well let's have a look at you then!" The orderly nurse insisted, slipping into her matronly role. "What have you done to yourself?"

"You don't know?" Estella's brows shot above her hairline as she gave her Uncle a quizzical look. "Oh, well, you know… whooped the collective arses of a couple of creeps wearing masks… met a really sick and twisted tattooist in a dark alley… "

"Good Lord, Severus, the child is delirious! Wherever have you been, child?"

"In the past." Estella said, her mood sobering as she picked up her wand and restored the glamour she had previously been hiding behind.

Poppy Pomfrey promptly passed out.

"Enervate." Severus pointed his wand at the shocked nurse to revive her, giving Estella a warning look.

"So you remember me I take it?" Estella asked coyly, returning to herself.

"You were attacked by he-who-must-not-be-named!" Madame Pomfrey gasped, her face paling. "It's a miracle you're still alive!"

"Well I daresay if I didn't have the time turner I wouldn't be." Estella admitted, her voice distant. Severus inhaled sharply and looked at her appraisingly.

"What spells were cast on you, child?" Madame Pomfrey asked, assessing the child's injuries. "Can you recall?"

Estella ran off a accurate list of nasty and dangerous hexes and curses that her opponents had thrown at her.

"Of course, they are the only ones that actually hit me." She said, leaning back into the pillows, the energy she had drawn from the adrenalin rush of duelling and the short sleep she'd had before her Uncle found her wearing thin.

"That's it then." Poppy admonished, her lips curled into a thin, pensive line. "Drink this."

In her hand, Poppy held out a vial of dreamless sleep.

"No." Estella shook her head stubbornly, brushing the nurse's hand away. "I don't want to sleep yet… I need… I want… Uncle Sev?"

"Lupin." Severus acknowledged gruffly, addressing the nurse wearily. "No one else knows she's back yet."

"Does Albus know?" Poppy asked, affronted at the idea of bureaucracy once again coming preventing the timely treatment of her patients. "The child has been through enough, Severus. She needs rest."

"I don't dispute that, Poppy." Severus said, giving the determined child a knowing look. "But I daresay Estella wishes to put some people's minds at ease first."

"Please?" Estella looked at the nurse pleadingly. "Just give me some restorative potions and pain relievers for now. I'll stay in bed, I just don't want to sleep right now."

"The body needs sleep to regenerate itself." Poppy warned, eyeing the potion favourably. "I cannot stress enough how much…"

"I've already slept some." Estella said softly, her voice breaking. "And I am resting, lying here like this. Please… I just…"

"She had lunch with Selina, Poppy." Severus said quietly. "At least from her point of view it was today."

"I understand." Poppy said eventually, administering a series of healing potions. "Shall I fetch the Headmaster?"

"Will he contact Remus and… and… tell him?" Estella asked shyly, faltering only when she had almost asked after Sirius, whom the old witch probably still thought was a criminal.

"Yes, child. I can assume he will update him on the recent developments." Poppy replied, on her way to the office.

"Please, can you have Professor Dumbledore not tell him why he is needed at the school?" Estella asked. "I want it to be a surprise."

Poppy looked to Severus for confirmation, which, from a slight nod of his head, she was granted.

"Very well." She said. "I do not want to see you out of that bed now, young lady."

Estella responded noncommittally, inwardly preparing herself for the reunion with the other two men in her life.

* * *

"Are the potions working?" Severus asked the child concernedly, noticing that Estella had a pained, vacant expression on her face. "Estella?" 

"Pardon, Uncle Sev?" Estella stirred from her reverie. "Oh, yes, I feel a lot better."

"You miss them, don't you?" Severus asked uncomfortably.

"It was just all so sudden." Estella sighed. "It wasn't how…"

"Nothing ever is." Severus patted her hand awkwardly, unable to imagine the grief the child was feeling. It wasn't everyday that you lose people who had already been dead to everyone else for over ten years. "I don't know what I can say."

"Thanks, Uncle Sev." Estella said gratefully, taking his hand in her own. "You don't have to say anything."

They sat together in silence for a few moments, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

"Estella…" Severus started bravely. "About how I was, back then…"

"Uncle Sev, you don't have to say anything." Estella cut him off.

"No, I do." Severus said quickly, reacquainting his heart with the freedom of communication. "I was in a dark place then. I… I was easily led."

"Uncle Sev, you've already told me all this." Estella sighed.

"Yes, I know, but you hadn't seen it first hand then." Severus said. "I just want you to know that despite what you saw… despite how I was… I still cared very deeply for my sister."

"You can say 'love', Uncle Sev, it won't bite, you know." Estella shook her head slightly.

Severus could only bring himself to squeeze Estella's hand in response.

"I could tell anyway." Estella said after it was clear her Uncle wasn't going to amend his statement.

"Tell what?" Severus looked at her, puzzled.

"That you, how did you put it, cared very deeply for your sister." Estella drawled. "It was ever so cute."

"Cute?" Severus gaped at his niece.

Estella could only grin, her mind lost in the memory.

"Uncle Sev?" Estella asked a few moments later. "Um… would you mind… that is… I…"

"You would like to be reunited with your father and Lupin without me being present?" Severus finished helpfully, giving her a knowing look, yet curious how the wanted fugitive would be able to get into the infirmary undetected from the omnipresent nurse. Perhaps he would borrow Potter's blasted invisibility cloak… or, from the sheer number of artefacts Estella had spent purging the Black estate of over the Summer, it was likely his unwanted brother-in-law had one of his own.

"That's not what I mean…" Estella looked at him sympathetically. "Well it is… but it's not. It's just that the last time you were all in the same room together…"

"It's alright, Estella." Severus admitted begrudgingly. "I must admit that I enjoy your father's company no less than I did before your departure. It will probably be for the best if I retire to my quarters before he arrives."

"I won't forget about you down there, you know." Estella assured him, the last thing she wanted to do was push him away. "I just don't want to see you fighting like that. Ever."

"I can't promise anything…" Severus said.

"I am not asking you to. Just keep a wide berth from him, alright?" Estella asked. "I missed you probably most of all you know."

At this, Severus was genuinely surprised. "Me?"

"Yes of course, you!" Estella looked at him adoringly. "You might as well have been a different person back then…"

"I missed you too." Severus admitted wholeheartedly. "More than I think you will ever realise."

"Oh I think I do." Estella nodded her head. "Being in the past… I saw a few things differently."

When the thoughtful child didn't appear to want to elaborate any further, Severus nodded his assent and leant in to kiss her brow. As he breathed in her earthy scent and could feel her body heat tickling his senses, however, Severus reflected on just how close he had come to losing her and could not hold himself together any longer. Letting out no more than a soundless gasp, Severus blew open the gates to his heart and wrapped the child in a fierce embrace.

Taken aback by the gesture, Estella stiffened in surprise at first, but quickly returned the hug.

"Oh Uncle Sev!" She sighed contentedly. Then, wincing as he squeezed a particularly tender spot around her ribs, she grimaced. "Ya know it's a good thing your healing potions are fast acting…"

Realising how tightly he had been holding the injured child, Severus broke away, a look of horror on his face.

"I apologise for my rashness!" He said, aghast at himself. The ever resilient gates locking away his heart once more, he nodded efficiently as the mask slid on once more. After all, a few more minutes time and the object of his affections will be too preoccupied with her father and godfather to ever pay him any mind again. "It won't happen again."

With that, the stubborn, misguided potions master turned and swept out of the infirmary without a backwards glance. Left alone in the infirmary, Estella shivered, the sudden coldness of the room contrasting with the lingering warmth that wrapped around her like the ghost of an embrace. Sighing as she threw herself back onto her propped up pillows, Estella shook her head in amazement – some things never changed.

* * *

"Why am I here?" Voices could be heard coming down the corridor towards the infirmary. The doors into the alcove separating the corridor from the nurse's office and the main infirmary swung open and closed again. 

"Poppy, what is it? Is it Harry?" Estella could recognise her godfather's voice badgering the patient nurse worriedly.

Her breath caught in her throat – did he care more about Harry then he did about her? A sudden thought occurred to her – he didn't know she had returned. Had he given up on her? She returned her focus to continue listening to the voices just on the other side of the door.

"No it's not Harry." Madame Pomfrey's voice could be heard softly saying. "And is it really necessary that you bring a dog into my ward, Mr Lupin? I must protest…"

A dog barked indignantly, alerting Estella of her father's presence. Her heart leapt in anticipation.

"Snuffles is very well trained." Remus assured the woman, not wanting to reveal the true name of Sirius' animagus form. Just then, the said dog started to scratch at the door leading into the infirmary and barking excitedly. "Snuffles, heel! Snuffles…" Estella could hear her godfather grunting in exertion, no doubt struggling to try and haul Sirius' animagus form away from the door.

"Now I must insist that you take a seat until Dumbledore arrives. For goodness sake, keep a lid on that dog!"

"…it's Estella!" Remus' voice blurted out excitedly, the werewolf evidently recognising her scent and catching on to the cause of 'Snuffle's' excitement.

The unmistakeable sound of chairs getting shoved across the floor could be heard as man and dog scrambled to their feet, no doubt bound for the door that would lead them to her.

"Poppy, get out of our way!" Remus' voice could be heard growling impatiently. "That's my goddaughter in there!"

The dog barked loudly, as though agreeing with his 'master'.

When the altogether too altruistic nurse failed to let her family pass, Estella threw back her bedclothes and swung her legs over the edge of her cot. If they couldn't get to her, she would go to them.

As Estella steadied herself on her bed, her potion-affected blood rushing straight to her head, making the room spin around her, a commotion broke out on the other side of the door.

"Mr Lupin! I thought you said this… dog… was well trained?" Madame Pomfrey shrieked. "Call it off!"

"I am afraid I cannot do that, Madame Pomfrey." Remus' voice could be heard gravely informing the woman who backed up against the other side of the door with a slight thump. "Snuffles is fiercely protective, and he's a law onto himself when slighted. I suggest you let him pass."

"Animals are not permitted into the infirmary!" Madame Pomfrey protested. "They are not sterile!"

"Neither are half of your patients." Estella grumbled, shakily making her way towards the door.

On the other side of the door, 'Snuffles' growled and evidently snared the hem of the obstinate woman's robes in his teeth for the woman's cries soon turned manic.

"Mr LUPIN!" Madame Pomfrey could be heard slapping at the determined dog at her heels. "I will not stand for this!"

In the midst of her struggles with the dog, the nurse had evidently stepped away from the door, giving Remus his chance to get past the woman and open the door for, all of a sudden, Estella was confronted with the visage of her Godfather standing there in the doorway.

"Moony!" Estella gasped, stumbling in her step in shock as she took in her godfather's markedly older appearance. Her most recent memory of him had, after all, captured him as his 15 year old self.

"Estella!" Remus cried out, equally amazed to see his goddaughter again as he closed the gap between them and caught the ailing child in an embrace, breaking her fall.

Behind them, a dog barked, its approach, however, was staved off by the increasingly irate Nurse.

"Miss Black!" The woman directed her ire towards her only patient. "I thought I told you to remain in your bed!"

As the woman attempted to enter the room and drag the resilient child back into her bed, however, Snuffles blocked her path, snarling and growling protectively as he stood between his pup and the perceived threat. Suitably intimidated, Poppy Pomfrey backed away reluctantly, glaring at Remus the whole time.

"Well I never!" She scoffed indignantly. "Just you wait until the headmaster hears of this! Mutiny!"

His patience wearing thin at the meddling woman's presence, Snuffles barked agitatedly and chased the woman out of her ward once and for all, retreating only when the woman had barricaded herself in her office.

"Merlin, some things never change." Estella mused as she leant into her godfather's side. "I can still hear you lot coming like a stampeding flock of Manticore!"

Estella could say no more, however, for she was knocked to the floor by an over enthusiastic animagus.

"Ow, Padfoot!" Estella groaned, the impact of the stone floor knocking the wind from her as her still-healing injuries protested. "Ow!"

With Remus' help, Estella managed to free herself of the overzealous animagus. Then, with a little help from Remus again, she crawled to her feet wearily and shot her animagus father a reassuring look.

"It's alright." She patted the animagus on the head, "potions haven't fully kicked in yet, is all."

Taking in the extent of his daughter's recent experiences – remembering that the events of twenty years past were, to her, merely hours ago – Sirius whined sadly in his dog form and nudged her pointedly towards her bed.

"Oh, not you too!" Estella groaned, rolling her eyes in contempt when her Godfather took his friend's hint and started to half carry Estella back towards the dishevelled looking infirmary cot. "It's just a few bumps and scratches, honestly!"

"It's more than that and you know it." A gruff voice said thickly beside her as her father transformed into his human form.

Estella turned to look her father in the eye, her own eyes brimming with tears as the older, haunted guise of her father stared back at her compassionately, reminding her once and for all that her mother was gone and that the past had, indeed, irretrievably passed. Exhaling a trembling breath, Estella sighed and fell into her father's waiting arms.

No words needed to be spoken.

Echoing his daughter's sigh, Sirius buried his head in her hair, holding her tightly as though he were trying to assure himself that she was real. The exhausted child didn't even notice it when her father swept the ground out from under her and carried her tenderly the rest of the distance to her resting place. As he laid her out gently and moved to pull the blankets over her, however, Estella clutched at his robes blindly.

"Don't leave me." She urged him desperately, her mind lost in her pain – emotional more than physical.

"Sirius…" Remus' voice floated to her ears distantly. "You can't stay in your human form… someone may enter!"

In his arms, Estella could feel her father hesitate as he had been settling in beside her. Holding onto him tighter, Estella inhaled harshly.

"Let them come." She growled, her hand flying to the place in her robes where she had refused to relinquish her wand. "I've already taken on Voldemort today… what's a Ministry jack ass?"

Hearing his daughter speak so candidly of her near death encounter with the most feared dark wizard in their time, Sirius tightened his hold on the child, tucking her head under his chin.

"I won't let you go." He promised her as he squeezed her reassuringly. "Just rest."

Conceding defeat, the cautious werewolf fell into a seat beside the child's bed and took the hand that wasn't gripping a fistful of Sirius' robes to herself tightly and enveloped it in his own hands.

"You're safe now." He assured her, squeezing her hand slightly. "Sleep. We'll protect you."

Feeling the veil of sleep claim her, Estella had wanted to quip back something about how melodramatic and corny the two men were being, but she was far too comfortable and tired to bother. Allowing her eyes to fall close as her mind acknowledged that the men were not about to go anywhere, Estella slept.

* * *

True to their word, the men did not leave Estella's side as she rested her weary body. They were soon to realise, however, the perils of not listening to the nurse's orders. 

Estella hadn't taken the dreamless sleep potion.

"Estella!" Sirius shook his daughter gently as she twisted and whimpered, her mind in the throes of a nightmare. "Wake up!"

Beside him, Remus tried to stop the thrashing child from agitating her healing injuries. "Estella, you're having a nightmare." He tried to draw the slumbering child into consciousness. "It's alright, you're safe now!"

Her body slowly becoming aware of its surroundings, the child screamed frantically as she bucked against the constricting hands of her father and godfather. In her mind's eye, she was still in that alleyway, and the hands holding her down were not that of concerned loved ones preventing her from harming herself, but rather the clawing hands of a victorious opponent.

"No!" She yelped, her unfocused eyes flying open as she fought to free herself from their grip. "Help!"

"Estella! Estella!" Sirius leant over her, cupping her face in his hands so that he could force her to look at him. "It's me. You're safe. You were having a nightmare."

"It's alright now." Remus added, patting her hand soothingly.

"No. No it's not." Estella sobbed, her eyes flaring in recognition as full consciousness was restored. "They've all gone! Dead!"

Pain flickering in his identical grey eyes, Sirius' heart broke for his daughter. While he had considered it such a blessing that Estella had been given the second chance to meet and get to know her mother, he had never felt so helpless than he did at the moment on account of the pain of losing her again so suddenly was now causing his child. At least before Estella's loss was muted by the fact that the resilient child did not know what she was missing. Now, it was as though an old wound in his soul had been torn open, and he could feel each of his daughter's salty tears burn into it mercilessly as they both relived the deaths of those dear to them. One glance at his surviving friend, and Sirius could tell the lycan was feeling it too.

The moments that followed passed in a blur as the three occupants of the room outpoured their grief. Catching sight of a familiar black dog toy where it tumbled out from under the pillow it was previously wedged under, one set of grey eyes narrowed. He had fought to keep that with him, but both Remus and his annoying brother-in-law had convinced him that it should be kept on hand at the school in anticipation of Estella's return. That Estella had it with her in the infirmary indicated to him that he had found her first… that he had been her first sign of comfort, of home. A familiar surge of guilt and jealousy washed over his veins like a bucket of icy cold water, and he stiffened in his seat on his daughter's bed.

Reaching around his daughter's settling form, Sirius plucked the offending toy out of oblivion and held it up for all to see.

"Where did you get this?" He asked numbly, his hand trembling as it clutched the familiar toy.

"It was in my room." Estella wiped her eyes on her sleeve to peer at her father quizzically. "I brought it with me."

"How did you get down there?" Sirius pressed on. "Assuming you came through the Honeyduke's tunnel, the statue of the one-eyed witch is closer to the infirmary than it is the dungeons. Why didn't you come straight here? You were injured!"

"I… I… I…" Estella faltered, looking quite affronted. "I wanted to see if my Uncle was alright."

At the implication of her words, Sirius' heart constricted. Estella's first concern upon returning to her own time was to see him above all else! Sensing his friend's derision, Remus tapped the disturbed father on the shoulder in warning. 'Sirius, don't do anything foolish.' His look tried to plead silently as their eyes met.

"I had just gotten away from Malfoy… for the second time." Estella explained, her bottom lip quivering. "He said something to suggest that Uncle Sev was in danger… I had to make sure he was alright. Besides, out of all of you, he was closest."

Leaning against his chest, Estella could feel her father scoff indignantly.

"Why would you think Malfoy was telling the truth?" Sirius asked his child irritably, his brother-in-law hardly being his favourite topic.

"Estella…" Remus interrupted before the girl could answer. "What form did you take when Malfoy confronted you in the alley in this time? Were you still under the glamour?"

"Yes." Estella said without hesitation. "Though he already knew who I really was."

Reflecting back on what his brother-in-law had cornered him about several weeks earlier, Sirius let out a vehement exclamation.

"Sirius, what's going on?" Remus looked from father to daughter bewilderedly. "How could Malfoy recognise Estella through the glamour."

"Pettigrew." Father and child spat with equal distaste.

"But how is that possible, none of us knew at that time who you were." Remus shook his head in disbelief.

"Sneaky little rat is more observant than we ever gave him credit for." Estella sighed. Sirius nodded in agreement.

"Ah, I see you are awake, child." Albus Dumbledore's voice interrupted their conversation, alerting them of his presence in the room. From his place beside her on the bed, Estella could feel her father start violently as though he had just been caught out, and scramble off the bed with intent to transform. "Relax, Mr Black. I have already seen you and Poor Poppy is of mind not to enter until I have subdued the… what did she call it… wild beast that accompanied Mr Lupin here"

Noting the twinkling mirth in the old man's eyes, the two men and child visibly relaxed.

"I dare you to run back to her screaming, with your robes in tatters." Estella smirked at the headmaster malevolently. Her guardians looked at her, their mouths agape at the child's open display of forwardness.

"Ah, dear child, I must confess." He said, smiling to set the men's fears at ease. "It would be drastically out for character for one such as myself to scream. A look of muted terror would more than suffice."

"Estella." Sirius chided his daughter half-heartedly. "The headmaster has been kind enough to believe my innocence and permit me onto school grounds to see you…"

"Of course he believes you're innocent." Estella scoffed, her eyes darkening as she glared at the knowing headmaster, annoyed. "I as good as told him you were, didn't I?"

Two male heads spun to look at the headmaster in confusion.

"Well yes, you did child." Dumbledore admitted, his twinkling eyes dulling under the icy glare of his returned student. "Though I still stand by what I told you at the time."

"I still think you should have heard me out." Estella sulked. "It was not very fair that you left it to me like that! How was I supposed to know what to do? I came to you for advice and you let me down."

"Estella…" Remus patted the child's hand, trying to calm her down. "The headmaster has been very worried about you too, you know…"

"I don't care." Estella scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest in defiance. "If he had just let me tell him, we might have been able to change things. You would never have had to go to Azkaban, and Harry would still have his parents."

Sirius and Remus shared a pained look, deciding silently between themselves which of them was going to broach this sensitive issue.

"Estella." Sirius said finally, taking the silent cue from Remus. "It was fate. Going back in time to change the past is not a good thing."

"But I did change things!" Estella held up her chin defiantly. "I saved Uncle Sev from being bitten! If James and you didn't have my time turner to use, he wouldn't have been able to stop Sev from going down that tunnel, and you know what would have happened then!"

"That event only ever occurred because you were in the past." Dumbledore informed her sadly. "Therefore it remained in your control to change."

"I don't understand." Estella shook her head obstinately, shooting her father an accusing look. "I wasn't the one who dared him to go down there!"

Before Sirius could profess his regrets, the wise headmaster interrupted again.

"Severus tells me that immediately before he encountered your father that night, he had run into you in the library, correct?" Albus looked at her piercingly. "Therefore it is entirely possible that had you never gone back in time, Severus might never have crossed paths with your father that night."

Estella's eyes widened as she absorbed this new angle. Frowning slightly, she shook her head.

"…And all this time he blamed my father and James for what happened!" She said half to herself. "All this time he's hated Harry for this reason… oh the irony!"

Silence crept through the infirmary as the respective parties realigned their thoughts.

"I do apologise for not getting here sooner." Albus said finally. "I was discussing plans for tomorrow night's festivities with the school's visiting alumni and did not want to raise suspicion by leaving prematurely. The longer we can keep your return under wraps, the safer you will be."

"Malfoy already knows, there's no point." Estella sighed.

"Ah." The old wizard faltered, the twinkle in his eyes flickering out like a candle caught in a draught. "Then we have a problem."

**End Chapter Eighty Six: Second Chances, Painful Admissions**


	87. Christmastime Contemplations

Updated: Saturday 11th June 2005

Disclaimer: Not mine.

**Chapter Eighty Seven: Christmastime Contemplations**

"Let me get this straight…" Estella said, her mind still trying to wrap itself around the developments that had taken place while she had been in the past. "Pettigrew being his charming backstabbing self I get, and now Malfoy has me in his sights, but what does it have to do with Uncle Sev?"

"Estella, it is imperative that your Uncle maintains the Dark Lord's favour." Albus Dumbledore said gravely. "Especially now that he is gaining strength again."

"Oh, I get it. He's supposed to be all loyal and stuff, so the revelation that I'm not…" Estella's voice trailed off. "You're not going to keep me away from him, are you? He wouldn't hurt me."

"Those of us in this room know that, child." Albus assured her. "But for certain eyes in this school it must appear as though your Uncle is thoroughly displeased with you, and you with him. When term returns and news of your return is widespread I will have to appear to go to great lengths to protect you from him. You will not be placed in a situation where other students can witness you being alone with him."

"This is crazy." Estella snapped defensively. "It's bad enough I still have to pretend to be afraid of my own father and act like he is a crazed criminal on the loose! Now you want me to make a public spectacle of renouncing my Uncle? I won't have it!"

"Estella, it will be extremely compromising to your Uncle's cover if you don't go along with it." Remus cautioned her calmly.

"To hell with his cover then!" Estella snapped, kicking back her bedclothes in frustration as the bubbling fury in her veins caused her body to flush and redden with increased blood flow. "If it is true that Voldemort is getting stronger, I for one wouldn't want to _endanger_ my Uncle by sending him back into the snake's pit!"

"Estella, he will be in just as much danger if his cover is blown." Sirius tried to reason with her. "_You_ will be in more danger."

"You weren't in a meeting with other teachers when you were delayed coming here, were you?" Estella narrowed her eyes at the scheming headmaster distrustfully. "You were forcing this crap down my Uncle's throat, weren't you?"

"I see I cannot fool you, child." Albus nodded his head wearily, holding his hand up haltingly when the enraged child opened her mouth to retort. "Please, Estella, just hear me out first."

"Why should I? You never heard me out, remember?" Estella sulked. "And we all know what happened because of it! Fate my arse…"

"Estella!" Sirius scolded his daughter lightly. "Come now, sweetheart. This is a difficult time for all of us here and you're not making it any easier."

"Oh yeah, right." Estella turned her glare to her father, a look of pained betrayal flashing in her irises. "Like the prospect of my Uncle risking his life and possibly getting killed would upset _you_. You hate each other... and don't even THINK of denying it!"

Sirius exhaled sharply and pulled away to wash a hand over his face hopelessly. Taking his cue, Remus leaned in.

"Estella, no one is suggesting that this situation is ideal." Remus said, gripping her chin between thumb and forefinger so that he could look the child in the eye. "War is approaching… and just like before we all have to do things we do not like."

"Where is my Uncle now? I want to speak to him about this." Estella said, relenting slightly.

"I am afraid that is not possible." Dumbledore said quietly. "He and I felt it imperative that he put his role into action immediately. He is presently making amends with Lucius Malfoy and announcing his intentions to turn you, child. Though I assure you for all intensive purposes, his public attempts to get to you will be thwarted at every turn and he will not be held accountable for your actions."

"You lie." Estella hissed, lunging for the irritatingly meddling old man, only to be held back by two strong pairs of arms on either side. "He would not have left without seeing me first!"

"I assure you his only concern was for your safety." Albus stepped back physically, but pushed on in his verbal attempts to placate the child. "He was under the impression you would be fine in the company of your father and godfather."

"It's not fair." Estella growled. "He only just got me back! He was only just starting to be open with me and now you're making him close himself off all over again! How could you!"

"Your Uncle's contribution to our defence will, again, be invaluable to us, Estella. You should be very proud of what he is doing." Albus tried to make the child see reason, but still she strained against her guardians, glaring at him murderously. "I regret the cost it has come to him and his family but there is no other way…"

"Bollocks!" Estella spat, her eyes glinting darkly in determination. "There is another way, and you know it!"

"Estella… no!" Sirius gasped. "You can't!"

"I've already been playing the role my entire life, haven't I Headmaster?" Estella challenged. "How is this any different?"

"Estella!" Remus exclaimed. "This isn't a game anymore. You don't have any idea what you would be getting yourself into."

"So? Uncle Sev was barely a few years older than me when he turned spy and no one spared a thought for what _he_ was getting himself into!" Estella growled. "Besides, Uncle Remus, you said yourself that I was good. That day with my grandmother's portrait, remember?"

"That was a portrait, Estella." Remus' voice caught in his throat. "You've already met Voldemort one too many times."

"War is approaching, Uncle Remus." Estella said, repeating his earlier words antagonistically. "You said it yourself not five minutes ago - we all have to do things we do not like! Don't you remember anything James' Dad taught us? Chivalry is a weakness!"

Sirius and Remus looked at each other and groaned – they had been had.

"Estella…" Albus chanced another step forward now the child was complacently leaning back on her pillows, her arms crossed defensively. "Your Uncle is doing things this way to protect you."

"Haven't I already proven that I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself?" Estella challenged the wizard, a renewed light in her eyes. "He shouldn't have to do it alone."

"You foolish child." A new voice interjected from the entrance of the infirmary, the owner shrouded by the shadows of the late afternoon sun. "I would soon as die than drag you any further into this."

"Uncle Sev!" Estella cried out in relief. "You're alright!"

"Of course I am alright, you idiot child." Severus informed his niece gruffly, uncomfortable in the presence of the other two men in her life. "I have been doing this since before you were born."

"And I've been doing it since I _was_ born!" Estella looked at her Uncle levelly. "I want to help you."

Exchanging a look with his distraught brother-in-law, Severus swapped seats with the man and took Estella's hand. "Estella. I know you have assisted me greatly in the past." Severus praised the child. "And I do not deny that you performed to great effect." At this he looked her square in the eye. "But the stakes have increased and I will not subject you to…"

"Uncle Sev!" Estella pleaded with her uncle.

"No, Estella." Severus said firmly, unrelenting in his goal. "I never wanted you involved in the first place, but at the time I had no choice. If I was to be the one raising you, it had to appear as though you were sympathetic with the dark."

"How have things changed, then?" Estella challenged her uncle.

"As much as I'd care to deny it, you have your father now, Estella." Severus sighed, sharing a meaningful look with his brother-in-law. "To explain your absence, I have firmly established the fact that your father kidnapped you and subjected your mind to his influence against my wishes."

"So?" Estella shook her head nonchalantly.

"So, now you have a chance to be yourself." Severus sighed. "For Merlin's sake, child, grasp it with both hands."

"Your Uncle's right." Sirius added. "Now you can finally tell Draco Malfoy what you think of him and not be afraid to say what you think. You can be a regular teenager, like you should be."

"But what about you, Uncle Sev?" Estella looked at her uncle worriedly. "When will you get to be yourself?"

"I gave up on that opportunity many years ago when I made the mistake to join Voldemort." Severus informed his niece. "It is my cross to bear. It was wrong of me to ever impose it upon you, but there was no other way. Now I can finally do what's best for you."

"It's not fair, Uncle Sev." Estella furrowed her brow.

"Life never is." Two voices chorused, their respective owners glaring at each other uncomfortably when it appeared they shared more than just a child in common.

Turning back to look at his niece, Severus looked at her imploringly. "Please, Estella. Do this for me?" Severus urged her to go along with Dumbledore's plans.

"Fine." Estella nodded her assent to her Uncle before looking to the headmaster and her other two guardians in turn. "Don't think this means I am happy with you, Headmaster…I am only agreeing to this because it is what my Uncle wants." She said. "…and you two… can cut it with the chivalry, alright?" Then addressing the three younger men as a whole she scowled warningly. "ANY of you go and get yourselves killed and I will bring you back to life just to kill you myself, you hear?"

Three heads nodded hesitantly, each of them warmly reminded of the child's mother.

"Now, do you think we could manage to get through _one_ Christmas as a family without killing each other?"

* * *

Estella was therefore smuggled out of Hogwarts that night to spend the Christmas season with both her Uncle, Godfather _and_ Father at her parent's matrimonial home in London. To ensure their safety, Dumbledore performed the Fidelius Charm on the property, enlisting himself as secret keeper, and Severus split his time equally between his sister's former home and the school so as to not draw suspicion by being completely absent. Estella was not particularly happy with the arrangement that saw Dumbledore as her family's secret keeper, but even she couldn't deny that not only would the enemy have a hard time getting to Dumbledore, the man himself would have little reason to endanger them. 

The decision had been made early on in the piece not to alert any of the students – not even Harry – of Estella's return until school returned for the Spring term. Severus had confided in Lucius Malfoy that he had heard wind of his niece's return, but that she was yet to reappear at the school; implying that the headmaster seemed to be keeping him from her covertly.

When Estella had returned to her bedroom in her father's home, she had been surprised to find the trunk she had used in the past sitting at the end of her bed. Still sore and weary from her ordeal, Estella slunk to the floor heavily to explore what was inside. Drawn to her room by the sound of her body hitting the floor, Sirius rushed in and scooped the child from the floor.

"What are you doing?" He fussed over her overbearingly, moving her towards the bed. "You are supposed to be resting! You can go through your things later."

Madame Pomfrey had only discharged the child that same day because Dumbledore had convinced her that it was not safe for the child to be seen at the school yet and that she would receive sufficient respite care where she was going. The potions her Uncle had supplied her with were enough to keep her alert and pain free, but her battered body still needed time to heal itself.

"I can rest on the floor while I slowly go through my trunk!" Estella protested. "It's only 7 o'clock! I can't go to sleep yet, it's too early!"

"Trust me, Estella, after the day you've had you'll sleep a solid twelve hours easily once you give yourself the chance to rest." Sirius chided her, settling her on the bed before reaching for an all-too-familiar vial. "Your Uncle brewed this fresh for you. Come now, drink it and it will be morning before you know it."

"But I want to wait up until Moony and Uncle Sev get back!" Estella protested, turning her head away from the offending sleep potions. "Where did they go, anyway?"

"Your Uncle left to make an appearance at the school so that the students don't realise he's gone, and your Godfather went to get some supplies."

"He went out by himself? Is he crazy? It's not safe!" Estella said, panicking.

"He's incognito, I assure you." Sirius sighed, transfiguring his daughter's robes into pyjamas with a flick of his wand and moving to cover her with a blanket. "Besides, the most obvious place to look is often the last you think of; and the charm will protect him within a certain radius of this house so he's perfectly safe."

"Alright, I believe you." Estella tried to stifle her yawn. "And I'll go to sleep now. Tomorrow after all will be our first real Christmas together and I most certainly do not want to spend it in bed."

"Yes, it will be," Sirius said in a choked sort of voice. "…and no I wouldn't want to keep you in bed either. But you do need your rest now."

"I'm sorry." Estella said regretfully as she snuggled down under the covers. "I haven't been able to get you anything."

Sirius shook his head at her. "Are you crazy? Just you being home safe again is more than enough, don't worry." Leaning over to kiss her goodnight and hand her the potion, he brushed a hair from her face. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Goodnight, Dad." Estella yawned, hardly bothering to put up a fight against the potion that nullified her senses and swept her off into a dreamless sleep.

When Estella awoke the next morning, it was to the appetising scent of cinnamon toast and wassail; and the distant murmur of voices downstairs. Stretching out her limbs experimentally, the recovering girl was overjoyed to note that her body had benefited greatly from an uninterrupted night of sleep. Glancing at her clock, she was astonished to note that she had been out for over thirteen hours, for her clock now read 8:35am. Evidently, her three guardians had chosen to let her sleep off the effects of the potion naturally and get ready in her own time. With that in mind, part of her was tempted to keep herself occupied going through her things in her room quietly; to see how long it will take for one of the men downstairs to grow impatient and come check on her, but a more dominating part of her was looking even more forward to spending Christmas with them all together – something she had always wanted - that she scrambled out of bed decisively and got ready to go downstairs.

Forgoing a shower for the time being (for not only was she much too impatient to get downstairs, but she had been so thoroughly sterilised when the nurse treated her the day before that she couldn't bare the thought of soap and water again so soon), Estella pulled out her favourite midnight blue robe and piled her hair out of her face with a simple, glittery clasp. Then, washing the sleep out of her face in the basin and scrubbing her teeth clean, Estella went to leave the room only to turn back and put on a pair of thick woollen socks, save the lecture she'd undoubtedly get from her Uncle otherwise. Years of living in cold, stone floored dungeons with the man had resulted in countless battle of the socks in that Estella would always forget to wear them, preferring the feel of the fire on her naked foot, or the cushiony warmth from sitting on her feet on the couch, to the itchy constriction that wearing socks without shoes caused.

Closing the door silently behind her, Estella crept downstairs to the kitchen, where she could hear the voices coming from.

"Come on Severus…" She heard her father urge the man. "If you don't wear them too the whole effect will be ruined!"

"I will not make a laughing stock of myself in honour of a stupid Muggle custom!" Her Uncle could be clearly her saying as she faltered on the other side of the kitchen door.

"Come now, Severus." Estella recognised Remus' level tone. "We'll all be making equal arses of ourselves. Do it for Estella."

"I can hardly see how subjecting myself to such degradation could be of benefit to my niece." Severus argued.

"If you loved her, you wouldn't care, only that it would make her smile." Sirius challenged his brother in law.

"Give me the damn headpiece before I change my mind." Severus scowled.

Estella stifled a gasp of curiosity as she could hear snapping of elastic and rustling of material alongside her uncle's undignified grunts of protest.

"I don't know why I am doing this." The man grumbled, no doubt glaring at the other two men in the room. "Black if you so much as _smirk_ in my direction I _will_ not hesitate to hex you, Estella or no."

"Severus, don't forget the pact." Remus said warningly. "Temporary amnesty, remember? We want to make this a good Christmas for Estella, not a repeat of what happened over Summer."

"I do have a memory, Lupin." Severus scowled.

Estella chose that moment to make her presence known. Pushing open the kitchen door lightly, she walked in.

"Good morning… Merry…" Taking in the appearance of her three guardians, Estella was rendered speechless and stood there, mouth agape.

"Surprise." Two eager voices and one not-so-pleased, chorused as rehearsed.

"Oh… oh… sweet mother of _Merlin_!" Estella managed, rubbing her eyes furiously in disbelief. "What have you done to yourselves?"

Standing before her were her beloved father, godfather and uncle wearing goofy festive paper hats and plastic red Rudolph noses held over their noses with elastic.

"They were selling them at the store down the road." Remus said helpfully. "They're Muggle."

"I can see that!" Estella exclaimed, smiling broadly. "But whatever possessed you to make such arses of yourselves?"

Severus glared at his conspirators triumphantly as though to say '_see_?'. When he saw the joy their surprise had brought to his niece's eyes, however, he couldn't bring himself to take it off. Sirius, meanwhile, had moved over to his daughter and enveloped her in a hug.

"Merry Christmas, Missy." He said to her jovially. "Don't worry, Moony got you one too."

Estella pulled away and shook her head. "No way!" She smirked, catching her Uncle's eye. "I will not make a laughing stock of myself in honour of a stupid Muggle custom."

"You were at the door!" Severus spluttered. "Why didn't you come in sooner?"

"Why, and miss you make a royal arse of yourself?" Estella teased him, giving him a quick hug that he returned awkwardly. "Besides, Dad was right, it has made me smile. Thank you."

Her Uncle made a indecipherable sound of acknowledgement and ruffled her hair slightly as he pulled away. Beside them, Remus approached brandishing another paper hat and red nose.

"Come on, Estella. You too." Remus said in a sing-song voice. Estella backed away, waving her hands in front of her as she shook her head. "Oh come on now, cub, don't be like that! You want to make your father smile, don't you?"

Estella cast her father a superior look. "Oh I am sure I can do that well enough without resorting to cheap Muggle tricks."

"Oh really?" Sirius said, coming up behind her and holding her in place. "Try me."

Smiling malevolently, Estella spun around in her father's arms and hugged him tightly. Then, placing a sloppy kiss on his plastic red nose she looked him square in the eyes and told him, in no uncertain terms, that she loved him. As predicted, Sirius couldn't keep the grin that was twitching at his lips at bay and he smiled broadly. Turning back around to face the hat-wielding Remus triumphantly, Estella cocked a brow at the man and smirked triumphantly.

"See? I don't need to wear it now." She said.

"On the contrary." Remus smirked back at her, nodding to Sirius whose arms around her waist suddenly held her tight enough to stop movement. "You will ruin the family photo if you don't."

"What?" Two voices roared, one man, one child. The dark eyed man continued. "I will not be a party to the immortalisation of such humiliating exposition!"

Feeling her father sigh behind her and seeing her Godfather hesitate as he moved to put the hat on her head forcibly, Estella sighed and took the nose from her Godfather's hand to willingly place it on her nose. Then, worming out of her father's grip, she rushed over to her Uncle, all paper hat and red nose, and grabbed his wrist as he went to remove his costume.

"Please, Uncle Sev?" Estella looked up at him pleadingly. "I think a family photo is a swell idea."

"It is not that I am against the notion of posing for a photograph, Estella." Severus sighed, lowering his hand temporarily. "I just do not wish to be photographed… _like this_."

"Please, Uncle Sev?" Estella kept on. "We're going to have to pretend to hate each other in class. It will be hard for me sometimes to remember that you won't mean what you say."

"Estella…" Severus began, trying to find the words that could assure the child that no matter how he acted with her in public once they got back to the school he would never mean a single breath of it.

"Please, Uncle Sev… I'll keep it in a really secret, really safe place." Estella cut him off, referring to the pending photograph. "It will help me remember what you're really like… that you were willing to honour a stupid Muggle custom and make an arse of yourself for me, to make me smile."

Looking down into his niece's puppy dog eyes, her pouting face only accentuated by the silly paper hat and ridiculous red nose, Severus could not say no (though had he actually seen how ridiculous he looked at that moment he might have reneged).

"Fine. Let's get this photo over and done with then." Severus relented, before looking at the other two men in the room threateningly. "Black… Lupin… either of you so much as mention to another living soul that this image exists and I will personally see to it that your pumpkin juice is spiked with a potion that will do more than just turn your hair green." At that he looked at Estella knowingly. "And you, young lady, must promise me that you won't leave your copy lying around where anyone could see it. I dare say the story it depicts will go against the cover we have established between ourselves."

Estella nodded solemnly in agreement. Inwardly she was smirking with glee… he never told _her_ she couldn't actually _show_ anyone; just that she couldn't leave it lying around where anyone could see it.

The photo was taken with the mismatched family posing around the impressively decorated Christmas tree in the living room. Sirius had apparently been up all night decorating it in hues of blue and silver (in honour of his daughter's house), using a box of old charmed ornaments Selina had bestowed upon him on the occasion of their first Christmas together in the house as a married couple some fourteen years previously. When Sirius told Estella as such, the awed child could only marvel at her mother's handiwork – the love and attention that went into the detailed pieces far surpassing the warm, yet comparably impersonal efforts the Christmas decorations at Hogwarts exhibited. With this being Estella's first Christmas morning away from Hogwarts, it only seemed fitting that it also be the first time the house of her parents played host to a tree and decorations since her mother's death.

Even Severus had been affected by the tree's beauty. He'd recognised his sister's handiwork right away, of course, but it still remained as one of the most impressive festive sights he had ever laid eyes on.

"Are we expecting more guests?" Estella asked innocently as she took in the sheer volume of gifts that surrounded the tree. Sirius and Remus shook their heads slowly, exchanging a knowing look. "Whoever are all those gifts for then?"

"You." Sirius' lips curled into a smile as his fingers itched to start giving the many gifts he had bought to his daughter, for he was very eager to discover what she thought of them all.

"Oh." Estella said, frowning slightly. "You do remember what I told you last night…"

"Estella." Sirius growled at his daughter. "None of that. Nothing could make any of us happier than seeing the joy on your face as you open your presents."

"Uncle Sev?" Estella looked at her Uncle for affirmation, uncomfortable at the notion of being so thoroughly spoiled.

"It's alright." Severus said, swallowing his pride. He too had perhaps been a little overzealous in buying gifts for his niece during her absence. "Go ahead."

"If it makes you feel any better, think of it as a combined birthday and Christmas." Remus suggested. "We all missed you on your birthday here and if I recall correctly you spent your birthday in the past in the infirmary with no one aware of the event."

"Here." Sirius said eagerly, handing her the first gift from him. It was a animated star chart for the northern hemisphere. "Wherever you are, at whatever time, it will show you on the map what stars you are seeing."

"Wow… I've never seen these before!" Estella marvelled at the map's ingenuity, almost wishing it were night time outside. "Thanks, Dad!"

"That's alright, sweetheart." Sirius gave his daughter a one armed hug from where he was kneeling next to her.

"I'd like to think you hadn't seen one of those before." Remus said, looking over the map reverently. "Why don't you tell Estella how you got it, Sirius?"

"It was your mother's wedding present to me." Sirius said thickly, his fingers tracing around the edges of the map idly. "She would have wanted you to have it."

"I… I… don't know what to say." Estella gasped, knowing how much it would have meant to her father to part with it. "I don't know if I can accept it. It was something Mum gave to you… it must mean an awful lot to you."

"Not nearly as much as something else your mother gave me." Sirius said, his fathomless grey eyes burning into her lovingly.

Catching onto the inference, Estella tucked the map away and smiled at her father appreciatively. "Oh." Was all she could say, looking down nervously. "I'll um, treasure it always."

"I know you will, sweetheart." Sirius smiled back and nodded to Severus to give her a gift next. "Sna…er, Severus?"

"Indeed." Severus inclined his head in acknowledgement and held out a gift to the child before him. "Merry Christmas, Estella."

From Severus, Estella had received an exquisite ring of white gold, the delicate band tastefully encrusted with a red ruby and onyx gem, a combination that complimented her mother's pendant splendidly without appearing too gregarious.

"Shortly before you were born, Estella, your mother came to see me." Severus said as he put the ring on the child's finger.

"She did?" Sirius narrowed his eyes at his brother-in-law, surprised at the revelation.

"It was very foolish and dangerous for her to do so." Severus acknowledged, nodding to his brother-in-law. "But it was for good cause."

"Did she give you this ring?" Estella asked, confused as she marvelled at the ring's simple beauty.

"No. She brought me that pendant you're wearing." Severus gestured towards the pendant she now wore proudly in plain sight. "The charms she placed on it are based on a very powerful form of blood magic. The more blood ties the charmed object has to its bearer, the more effective the protection; do you understand what I am saying?"

"She came to suck your blood!" Estella said dramatically, imitating Count Dracula in an attempt of levity.

Severus' lips twitched despite himself. He was all too aware of what the students called him behind his back. "For lack of a more articulate description, yes." He stated. "However, it was just not my blood she was after." He looked at Sirius nervously before beckoning for Estella's right hand. Turning her hand over in his, he gently outlined the creases on her palm with his fingers as though searching for something. "There." He said, his finger rubbing a small circle around an almost invisible blemish on her skin.

Holding her hand in front of her face to study the slightly paler, raised bit of skin more closely, Estella looked at her Uncle in question. "You?"

"You!" Sirius snarled, gently grabbing Estella's hand with one hand and caressing it with the other, searching for any evidence of foul play. "What did you do to my daughter?"

"Dad!" Estella chastised her father warningly. "Don't do this."

"I'm not doing anything, Estella." Sirius assured his daughter, all the while his eyes not leaving those of his brother-in-law. "If I was about to do something I would not have left my wand on the lounge. I was merely asking your Uncle a question."

"Civilly?" Estella questioned, raising a brow.

Sirius took a calming breath. "I'm sorry, _Severus_." He ground out as congenially as he could muster. "Do continue with your explanation."

"Why thank you, _Sirius_." Severus leered back with just as much enthusiasm. "As I was saying, your mother came to me for help. She knew war was upon us and that there was a chance something could happen to either herself or your father; and so she wanted to ensure you had some form of protection." He paused to take a breath. "While such protective charms are most effective when as many blood ties are invoked as possible, it remains imperative that the blood for such a charm be given willingly, with no impurity of heart."

"Well that just about ruled you out." Sirius muttered under his breath, yelping when his daughter elbowed him sharply in retribution. Severus, meanwhile, ignored the insult and continued.

"Your mother had collected her own and your father's blood, and had come to me for help with the potion which the pendant had to soak in for the charm to take effect." He paused again, a pained look flickering over his eyes. "Selina did not think I would be interested in assisting the child of my childhood nemesis, so she did not request my blood." He looked from Sirius to Estella meaningfully. "I _insisted_."

"I don't understand." Estella said, peering at her Uncle pensively. "My mother was competent in potions, wasn't she?"

"She did not trust herself with such an important potion." Severus said.

"Oh, how touching." Sirius drawled, yet the mocking tone in his voice was absent. "At what point will you get the part where blood from my unborn daughter was taken? How could a foetus willingly part with its own blood?"

"Legilimens." Estella looked to her Uncle knowingly. "I'm right, aren't I?"

"Your mother only wanted what was best for you, child, as did I." Severus assured her. "When I told her there was a possibility it could be done, she trusted me with the procedure."

"What did you do?" Estella asked, awed.

Closing his eyes briefly, Severus recounted the memory. "I placed my wand on your mother's belly and when your hand… this hand… made contact with me through your mother's womb, I entered your mind. When I came back to consciousness, there was a slither of blood on the tip of my wand and your mother bombarded me with questions about what I'd found inside your mind."

"What did you find?" Estella asked, curious, reaching for her glass of pumpkin juice.

"An insatiable hunger for Pumpkin Juice and a stubborn irritation at being couped up." Severus said with all manner of seriousness, giving her glass a meaningful look. "Your mother would have been about seven months along at that time."

"I remember that day!" Sirius said suddenly. "Selina came home and said you had been waving around like you were conducting a concerto all afternoon while she was at the _apothecary_ and she felt rushed off her feet. I remember because an hour later I fell off the roof."

"You told me about that!" Estella exclaimed, her eyes flicking to the living room window that would have given a bird's eye view of her father's fall. "But gee, Dad, you are really ignorant when it comes to potions and apothecaries."

"No Snape would ever buy a potion ready made." Severus shook his head indignantly, completing Estella's sentence with a measure of disgust. "Estella, I trust you like the ring?"

"Oh, Uncle Sev, it's lovely." Estella said whole heartedly. "One thing though, what does the pendant have to do with it?"

"There used to be a brooch, on your grandmother's side, that passed from mother to daughter. It's featured ruby stone was imbued with centuries of protective charms as each bearer passed on their own protection to their child." Severus explained. "Your mother absolutely _hated_ the horrendous looking thing, but she appreciated the value of such heritage. She extracted the stone, having a jeweller place it in the pendant of her own design. Your mother gave me what was left of the Ruby for safe keeping."

"So you had the ring made?" Estella smiled thankfully.

Severus nodded. "The black gem I sourced from a Snape family heirloom of similar integrity. I had planned to present it to your mother on the occasion of your birth so that it could work together with the pendant instead of being a liability against it. I was demonstrably delayed." He leant forward and fingered the pendant around Estella's neck gingerly. "I had no idea where to find this; and it did not feel right to give you the ring first."

"Thank you." A voice that was not Estella's croaked out, as a hand resembling an olive branch reached out to shake his hand. "I know we have our differences, but it's good to know my baby was in good hands all these years."

"A child can't help who it has for a father." Severus smirked, actually _joking_ with his brother-in-law.

"Yes, because we all know if the general public viewed the two of us in light of who our fathers were we'd be best friends and sporting matching tattoos." Sirius smirked. "Though you really might want to consider your own advice when you next have my godson in a class."

Sensing the unfamiliar light mood between her father and uncle darken slightly, Estella scrambled to change the subject.

"I think it's about time for Uncle Remus to have his turn."

* * *

In all, Estella was overwhelmed with a myriad of books, stationery and clothes. For something different, her Godfather had lavished her with items that were principally Muggle in origination – he, in particular, took great care in seeing to it that her burgeoning music collection was kept up to date. When she had unwrapped the Muggle Boom Box however, Severus and Sirius groaned, with Sirius quite vehemently telling the werewolf that he would be responsible for the soundproofing charms. 

"Already taken care of." Remus had nodded knowingly.

"_That's_ what you were doing last night when you got home!" Sirius had exclaimed.

After she was done explaining to her uncle the Muggle technology behind the compact disc and agreeing with him that it was a form of magic onto itself, Estella got stuck into opening the rest of her presents. It was the last two gifts from her father that drew the largest response from her. The first of these gifts, was a Firebolt.

"You got me a broom?" Estella looked at her father disconcertedly. "You of all people should remember what happened the last time I got on a broom."

"Yes, I do." Sirius nodded his head in all manner of seriousness. "You flew like the wind and loved every minute of it."

"Until I plummeted to the ground in a body bind." Estella shot back, frowning.

Sirius sighed. "A stupid, stupid mistake." He apologised profusely. "So we need to work on your landings…"

"I don't know if I can do it." Estella eyed the broom warily. "But I suppose with things being as dangerous as they are at the moment, I'm hardly safer on the ground."

"That's the spirit." Sirius smiled.

"It will set us all at ease if you acquired the skill." Remus added softly. "You never know when you may need to call upon it."

Noticing his niece's apprehensive look, Severus eyed the broom disdainfully. "Still, B…_Sirius_… wouldn't it have been wiser to start her on a less powerful broom?" He suggested, gesturing towards the overwhelmed look on Estella's face.

"I did think of that." Sirius said to Severus before turning to Estella. "I did think of that, I swear." He continued. "But at the end of the day if there ever comes a time where you need to use a broom to get out of a sticky situation, I for one feel a lot more comfortable knowing that it's the fastest on the market."

"Thanks Dad." Estella said finally. "I can't promise to get over the fear of falling and fly recreationally, but I promise I'll learn how."

The last gift her father gave her was a set of intricately hand crafted dress robes. More specifically, they were the dress robes she, Lily and Selina had been fussing over _that_ day in Hogsmeade.

"When you disappeared," Sirius began by way of explanation. "Your name simply joined the large list of students whose parent's pulled them out of the School. Only James, Remus and I had the idea that Dumbledore was covering up for something; and we didn't want to break it to the girls that there was the chance that you had perished." He cleared his throat. "To make you feel better, Selina and Lily pooled their resources and bought you those dress robes. They seemed to believe that a girl could get her kicks from merely dressing up for her own enjoyment."

"Wow." Estella's eyes welled up with tears. "Where on earth…"

"She gave it to Dumbledore to pass on to you." Sirius explained. "It was amongst the things I collected of yours from the headmaster after you had gone back in time. I'm sorry but it appears that any note that came with it perished."

"No, it's alright." Estella said wistfully. Then, changing the subject, she turned to her godfather. "So, you going to tell me who you ended up going with at the end?"

"Peter and I went stag." Remus answered her, cringing at the mention of the traitor's name. "James didn't stop teasing us all night. Kept insisting that _he_ was the stag."

"I'm sure Lily would have been thrilled." Estella smiled thinly, a pained look in her eyes as she looked away, blinking furiously.

"Hey… hey, hey, hey!" Sirius soothed his child, wrapping her up in a hug. "Come now, none of this, alright? I know it's hard sweetheart but they would have wanted you to be happy today."

"I know." Estella said, inhaling deeply through her nose. "I just miss… oh…" She stood up suddenly, wincing when the blood rushed back down to her cramped legs. "I just thought of something! I'll be right back."

"Hey, no running! You're still recovering!" Sirius yelled after his daughter as she flew out of the room, his words having no effect.

Ten minutes later she emerged from her room and returned downstairs to the living room where the men were clearing away the wrapping paper and drinking egg nog. Well, actually, Remus was busy enthusiastically comparing the features of his goddaughter's new boom box with the older, less advanced set up he had installed in the living room some 10 years earlier; and Sirius was drooling over her new broom and muttering about '_stupid Ministers'_ and _'damn rats'_ preventing him from getting his own broom and flying himself. Depressed with the notion of not being able to be seen in public until his name is cleared, Sirius turned his attention to Estella's new stereo.

"Damn Moony, would you look at that!" Sirius exclaimed excitedly to his friend. "This new stereo you got Estella plays really small records!"

"CDs, Sirius, they're called CDs." Remus corrected his friend, chuckling slightly. "Estella, you're back."

Estella was indeed back. In her hands she held three meticulously wrapped gifts, each looking as though they hadn't been touched in years.

"Where did you find those?" Sirius narrowed his eyes at his daughter. He didn't want to admit it, but he'd poured over '_Aries_'' trunk from top to bottom in his attempt to capture his daughter's essence.

"Ask no questions and I'll tell no lies." Estella smiled, handing out a package to each man in turn. "I almost forgot I'd ordered these for your younger selves while I was in the past. I apologise if you've gotten it since…"

"It doesn't matter." Remus assured her, cursing as his blunt nails struggled to undo the 20 year old ribbon. There was just something about unveiling a gift – a hidden treasure – that was intoxicating to the threadbare werewolf, and he liked to savour the moment for as long as possible.

Severus unwrapped his gift first. It was a reinforced, silver plated scaling knife in a well appointed self-sharpening sheath of dark green dragon hide.

"I remember you saying in class how inept the scaling knives in the school kits were." Estella said, biting her lower lip. "And I wanted to get you something that wouldn't raise too many questions. I'm sorry if it's a bit impersonal."

"No, no, it was very thoughtful of you, thank you." Severus said. "I daresay that even until now I had never owned a decent scaling knife. They are notoriously difficult to find, wherever did you find it?"

"Ask no questions and I'll tell no lies." Estella smirked, tapping her nose twice. "Though I will say it's one of a kind and I ordered it the first month I was in the past."

Admiring the knife once again before returning it to its sheath, Severus looked at his niece appraisingly before nodding his assent. It was clear she was not going to divulge any more details about the knife at that time; though in all likelihood she had it custom made to very well defined and meticulously researched specifications. For something that was intended, at the time, to be 'impersonal', it was really quite distinctive – like a doubled edged sword. A true Slytherin gift.

"Oh, wow…" Sirius voice exclaimed in surprise as he opened his gift – a pocket telescope with embossed gold plating, the constellation of Canis Major clearly identifiable at the end of its retractable shaft. "You know, I had my eye on this! When I'd gone back to the store during the next Hogsmeade visit they told me it had been sold! I never saw one like it since."

"Ah so I guess I was on target then." Estella smiled, relieved. "Now you won't have to lug the telescope from my room up onto the roof while I'm away at school."

"I love it, thank you, sweetheart." Sirius smiled at his daughter appreciatively. "Moony, you done unwrapping yet? Oh for Merlin's sake, just tear into it!"

Intimidated by the three sets of eyes looking at him impatiently, Remus forwent his effort to preserve the wrapping paper and tore the rest of the package mercilessly, revealing a limited edition, gold – embossed numbered, picture disc debut release_ with_ bonus tour edition poster, guitar plectrum and live tracks of his all time favourite Muggle band. Remus' eyes lit up like spotlights on a stage.

"Oh… my… good Merlin Estella, wherever did you find this?" Remus pawed at the factory-sealed, never-played, mint condition 12" LP in disbelief. "They only pressed 500! They're impossible to find these days!"

"Ah, buy you're forgetting, Remus, that it was released in 1975." Estella said informingly, rolling her eyes at her Godfather's apparent shock-induced stupor.

"Yes, I know when it was released." Remus sighed. "I rue the fact that I got into the band five years too late to complete their back catalogue."

"Yes, you couldn't tell me enough, remember?" Estella shook her head in disbelief. "So it was a good thing your favourite Goddaughter had its release date burnt into her memory when she happened to find herself trapped in 1975."

"You… you _didn't!_" Remus gaped. "You _did_!"

"Well of course I _did_." Estella smirked victoriously. "Used the time turner so that I wouldn't be missed and snuck out to the Hog's Head in disguise. That place is so dark and skanky they didn't give a second glance to a ragged looking hunchback Flooing to London."

"You snuck out of the school and _Flooed_ to London on your own?" Severus paled. "Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"

"Merlin, not even Prongs and I dreamt of doing something so daring! We only ever snuck out to Hogsmeade for Butterbeer!" Sirius exclaimed, grinning at his daughter malevolently. "And you never got caught! You bring new meaning to the Marauder Code, my dear."

"Ah, I don't condone what I did." Estella said, looking at her Uncle particularly. "But it was a means to an end."

Remus was giddy with glee. His collection was now complete. Wrapping the child into a fierce hug, he was still beaming from ear to ear as he reverently extracted the precious vinyl from its gatefold sleeve and actually _inhaled_ its preserved, new scent.

"I am so… so glad you are only giving this to me now, cub." Remus said appreciatively. "I would have not taken good care of it."

"Oh you would have." Estella's eyes glinted mischievously. "I bound it with a charm that would have ensured you would not have been inclined to play or part with it for ten years. It would have caused you to react indifferently at the time, but I knew you would have thanked me later."

"What store did you line up at to get this, Estella?" Remus asked her suddenly, his head darting up to regard her with a look of recognition. "They only pressed 500 copies… don't tell me you lined up _there_?"

"All the copies were sold there, Remus, you told me yourself." Estella said knowingly. "They marketed it that way to pull the crowd at the store…"

"…so they could film the video clip of their next single." Sirius finished, vaguely familiar with the story, having become well acquainted to Remus' musical tastes in recent times.

The wide-eyed werewolf was up like a flash and pretty much tripped over the coffee table in his haste to get to his video collection.

"Oh… no…" Estella gasped. "You don't… you _do_!" She cringed. "Um, Uncle Remus, I didn't get on the camera… really, no use pulling it out…" The excited werewolf located the videotape and moved to turn the TV on. Estella pushed on desperately. "No, please don't play it. I want to live through Christmas!"

"A little good humoured embarrassment will hardly kill you." Sirius nudged his daughter playfully. "Come on, aren't you curious to see if you made the cut?"

"_That's_ what I am afraid of!" Estella groaned, cradling her head in her hands.

Remus found the tape and cued it. As the video clip began with a pan of the fans lined up at the studio in London, Estella could take it no more. Jumping up, she placed her body between the screen and its viewers.

"Estella, out of the way." Her father growled playfully while Remus leant forward and grabbed her round the waist outright, dragging her down with him to where he was sitting cross-legged on the rug. Defeated, Estella buried her head in her Godfather's chest, hiding herself from view while she waited for the laughter to start. Slowly but surely, her Godfather's chest began to shake and rumble with mirth, his laughter deepening.

Hearing the music stop, Estella chanced a look at the screen to see it had been switched off. Turning towards her father in confusion, she was surprised to see a pained look on his face.

"Dad?" Estella frowned, pulling away from Remus to reach out for the remote in her father's stilled hand. "It… it's ok. Might as well watch the rest now."

"It's time to eat." Sirius said distractedly. Setting the remote down and holding his hand out to help his daughter up. "I'm sure Remus has already seen that clip a thousand times."

"I would never have recognised you, cub." Remus said lightly, his eyes narrowing when he saw his friend flinch at the choice of endearment; the man making a note to question his friend about it later.

"What did you do to your hair?" Severus asked, offering a subtle change of subject when he could sense a brewing discomfort between the two Marauders.

"Hey… hey I _remember_ that day!" Sirius' mouth flew open and shut like a fish as he stabbed a finger in Estella's direction, momentarily forgetting the strange stab of discomfort her had felt at seeing his daughter on the floor with Remus. "_You_ told everyone I hexed your hair to look like that! I served a detention for that, thanks a lot! You could have at least done in Remus for the job!"

"Wait a minute, you didn't miss any classes that day…" Remus said. "..and you didn't turn up with the pink hair until before dinner. You used your time turner, didn't you?"

Estella nodded. "I said that! After class I borrowed Lily's Muggle hippie costume, grabbed a bottle of pepper up to keep me awake, and wound the time turner back 13 turns."

"So that's why you fell asleep in the library after dinner?" Sirius shook his head. "You weren't just dozing either – you were snoring so loudly James had to cast a silencing charm on you so you didn't draw attention. It took that conjured pitcher of ice water to rouse you, Merlin Pince was peeved about us getting those books wet!"

"I remember." Estella shivered, her hand rubbing the back of her neck in memory. "I also recall telling you that I didn't want to go to the library."

"Hey, all you had to tell us was that you had used a time turner to spend the day in London and was feeling rooted and we would have left you off the hook." Sirius held up his hands in defeat. "Good Merlin, the things _we_ could have done with a time turner at our disposal, hey Moony?"

* * *

Lunch was an elaborate affair. In between decorating the living room and wrapping presents, Sirius had been just as busy in the kitchen, deploying both Muggle and magical means to whip up a culinary feast. 

"Did you even sleep last night?" Estella eyed her father suspiciously, who shook his head sheepishly and muttered something about wanting to make sure everything was 'perfect' for their first Christmas together.

"Sirius! You told me you slept!" Remus' mouth fell open in indignation. "Merlin, Padfoot, you're going to make yourself ill."

"No, it's alright, Severus supplied me with an energising potion-majig." Sirius said freely, actually starting to enjoy the amnesty he had instigated with his brother-in-law for the day. Fighting got very tiring.

Estella and Remus' mouths gaped.

"Sirius! You called him Severus." Remus was awe struck.

"You actually took a potion from my Uncle trustingly?" Estella was beside herself with delight – her family finally seemed to be pulling together.

Sirius shrugged flippantly, not really knowing what the big deal was – Severus wouldn't do anything to him so long as he remained in Estella's favour – and Severus scowled lightly while he took a sip of his drink.

"Now I am positive you guys gave each other a dose of Unctuous Unction!" Estella shook her head in amazement. Her comment reaching Severus' ear just as he was taking a draught from his goblet, the man spluttered and sprayed his mouthful of pumpkin juice all over himself in shock.

Looking from his uncharacteristically undignified brother-in-law to his niece in confusion, a blank look on his face, Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Alright, will someone please enlighten me… _what _in Merlin's name is Unctuous Unction?"

Squirming uncomfortably in his chair as Sirius' eyes fell on him, the bona fide werewolf's cheeks flushed with his own memory of the potion. Meeting Sirius' questioning gaze head on, a knowing smile on his face and twinkle in his eye, Remus waited until Severus was taking another mouthful before speaking.

"Why don't you have Severus fetch you a dose, and you can find out?" He suggested innocently, smirking triumphantly when the unsuspecting potions master lost his mouthful again.

The sound of Estella's hearty peals of laughter softened the daggers in Severus' eyes as he once again found himself a target of the Marauder's mirth. No longer taking personal offence, the staunch Slytherin permitted the light-hearted Gryffindors their 'victory' and joined the two men in relishing the symphony of the child's laughter.

* * *

After lunch, Sirius was forcibly packed off to have a sleep by a equally concerned Estella and Remus and Severus excused himself to go break in his new knife downstairs in the potion's lab. While Estella went upstairs to see her father to bed and feed Buckbeak, Remus retired to the living room to pour over his 'new' LP reverently, proceeding to play it over and over and over. 

"You keep playing it like that, Moony, and it will become a broken record." Estella growled as she came back down the stairs half an hour later. "I can hear it all the way upstairs in the attic! Aren't you tired of it yet?"

"Nope!" Remus replied excitedly, his beaming face appearing 10 years younger as he immersed himself in his music. "And you're one to talk… you would do exactly the same thing and you know it!"

"Only because I've grown up with your influence!" Estella retorted lightly, her head looking around for her Uncle distractedly. "Where's my Uncle? He still down stairs?"

Remus shrugged. "I suppose so."

Picking up the shiny new potions kit her Uncle had bought her, Estella excused herself from the living room. Knowing what her Godfather was like, he'd probably be in his own little world listening to his new album over and over for at least another hour. "If Dad wakes up, send him down. I'm going to go see if Uncle Sev wants to brew some Unctuous Unction with me."

"OK." Remus replied absently, his mind too busy committing lyrics to memory. By the time he had registered what Estella had suggested she was going to do, the child was already halfway to the kitchen.

"Oh… wait… Estella!" he called after her. "Don't you dare!"

Estella threw a smirk over her shoulder as she disappeared into the kitchen and Remus made a mental note to be very careful of what he drank over the next couple of days.

* * *

"Hey Uncle Sev." Estella said quietly, so as to not stun her Uncle as she let herself into the room. "I did try knocking and calling out to you but I guess you put up a silencing charm. Remus getting to you too, huh?" 

"Whatever possessed you to buy him such an infuriatingly obnoxious gift?" Severus scowled lightly. "I trust you are having an enjoyable Christmas?"

"The best." Estella beamed happily, leaning her back against the counter beside her Uncle as he worked. "No offence or anything…"

"None taken." Severus said tightly, his lips pulled into a thin line. "I do acknowledge that the last few yuletides have not been very festive for you."

"You don't have to apologise, Uncle Sev." Estella said sincerely. "I know I bring it up sometimes, but I know it wasn't something you'd do on purpose." She paused. "Besides, you're here now, and that's saying something."

Severus nodded, a flash of relief washing over his eyes. "I regret that your family is not as straight forward as…"

"Things would hardly be as interesting if they were." Estella shrugged. "We may not be perfect, but we seem to pull together when it's needed, so it's a start."

The silence that followed was broken by the rhythmic noises of knife on cutting board, meticulous hands furiously at work as they refined the noble act of ingredient preparation into a fine art.

"Thank you." Estella said suddenly, resting her head on her Uncle's arm and sighing. "I know it's hard for you to be around him, and him to be around you."

"Estella." Severus faltered, his knife coming to a halt as he turned to face Estella a little more squarely. "I know you would love nothing more than your father and I to reconcile our differences… but… I don't know if that is possible. Too much has happened…"

"Nothing is impossible, Uncle Sev." Estella chastised her Uncle lightly. "But you don't have to explain. I don't want either of you doing something only because of me. The only way it will work is if you want it for yourself… and I understand that there's not much reason there for you to want that."

Severus nodded and returned to his work. Estella began to unpack her new potions kit beside him.

"Try not to kill each other with me in the room, though." She said seriously, a haunted look in her eyes. "I care very much about both of you and it's not very nice to see."

"You can say '_love_', Estella, it won't bite." Severus drawled at her malevolently, turning her own words against her before gazing at her intently. In a softer tone of voice he added softly; "I won't be affronted to hear you say that you love him."

"I love _you_, Uncle Sev." Estella said, smiling acceptingly, happy with the man's willingness to accommodate her feelings towards his nemesis.

Looking her squarely in the eye, Severus put his new scaling knife down and flashed her a rare smile. "I love you too, child." He admitted _finally_, his healing heart finally accepting that he never truly lost his sister to Sirius and that he would not lose Estella to him either.

Like two well-oiled cogs, Estella and Severus worked side by side in companionable silence; their hands working with practiced grace and precision as they efficiently prepared ingredients for storage.

"Is there a particular potion you care to brew?" Severus asked her, relishing the idea of an afternoon in the contented company of his niece competently assisting him in a challenging potion.

"Uncle Sev, I can't believe you bought me a _gold_ cauldron!" Estella's eyes marvelled the shiny new, never-used cauldron before her. "Not even Seventh year Potions require the use of _gold_ cauldrons!"

"Yes, though that is more a funding practicality than desirability." Severus sighed. "Very few students show the potential, let alone the passion to want to advance to such superior equipment."

"What potions can be brewed in one?" Estella asked curiously. "I mean, I know some potions may become much too concentrated than intended, right? While others are more effective?"

"That's correct, Estella." Severus inclined his head appreciatively at his niece's conscientiousness, taking the opportunity to recap on the benefits of different cauldron compounds and their effect on brewing.

"So I won't be able to use it everyday in class?" Estella nodded affirmatively, filing the information away.

Severus looked at her regretfully. "As much as I loathe the idea of more suitable equipment going to waste, I am afraid I will have to insist that you…"

"…don't use anything other than the standardised School kits when in your class." Estella finished for him. "It's alright Uncle Sev, I can see how it would unfairly put me at an advantage to the other students."

"You're already at an unfair advantage to the other students." Severus smirked. "But it's not your fault they're not as gifted as you."

"Gifted? Me?" Estella blushed. "Uncle Severus, don't you think you're slightly bias? I think you are. I mean you've never given me anything below an O!"

"I assure you I am not marking you favourably because you are my niece." Severus assured the child. "Your results are entirely warranted." He bottled a full jar of dragon scales and labelled it before looking at her again. "To prevent such suspicions amongst _certain_ people in the school alumni, Dumbledore has been forwarding all of your work to an independent mediator for consultation."

"You mean… you mean you haven't been marking my work yourself" Estella's eyes were wide – part of her had always assumed that her grades were not entirely a credit to her performance. "It was McGonagall, wasn't it?" She added suddenly, her eyes glinting with suspicion. "Who accused you of being too subjective to mark my work fairly?"

Severus looked at his niece sharply and nodded faintly. "I didn't tell you." He said simply, a Slytherin smirk forming on his face.

"You know she gave me heaps more help in class when she didn't know who I was!" Estella snorted. "And yet she accuses _you_ of being bias!"

"Ah, but I am bias." Severus admitted silkily. "It pains me to give her precious Gryffindors anything more than a Acceptable."

"You know, the way you complain that half of your students are all dunderheads, I would have thought that the slightest success would warrant an 'Exceeds Expectations' since you don't expect much of them in the first place." Estella rambled incoherently.

"Yes, I see your point." Severus agreed with his niece willingly. "Though I dare say such encouragement would render them too complacent."

"Alright, so are you ever going to tell me who's been marking my work or are you going to kill me with the suspense?" Estella asked finally after having given her Uncle ample time to offer the information.

"No." Severus smirked at his niece's indignant glare, then turned serious. "I'd never harm you, child."

"Don't change the subject!" Estella stamped her foot.

"Watch that attitude or I may reconsider." Severus said.

"You can't scare me!" Estella challenged.

"I can try." Severus' eye glinted.

"It won't work." Estella assure him. "I've seen worse."

There was an uncomfortable silence as the implications of what she said sunk in.

"Now look who is changing the subject." Severus said awkwardly, inwardly thinking that if she wanted to talk about the events of the past, one of the other men upstairs would be better suited.

"Don't tell me you're actually going to answer me now!" Estella said.

"I will have to confer with him before I reveal his identity." Severus told his niece, mindful of her look disappointment. "Though I will assure you he is a very challenging individual to please."

"No way!" Estella gawked, recognising her Uncle's words as echoing those that he had said to her, as her potions partner twenty years earlier, in reference to Hogwarts then Potions Master. "He's still alive? No offence, but why isn't he teaching?"

"He's an old man now, Estella." Severus informed her carefully, an unreadable expression on his face. "The war… it…"

"Say no more, Uncle Sev." Estella said, her voice shaky as she struggled to reconcile the image of an old man with the vivacious, middle-aged Professor who had taught her in the past. "I don't think I want to know anymore."

Nodding firmly as he took in the sad look on his niece's face, Severus strove to extricate the child's mind away from the past and sought to steer their conversation into clearer waters.

"So, how did you enjoy Christmas lunch?" He asked for lack of better inspiration.

"It was fine, Uncle Sev." Estella replied just as convincingly, her eyes rolling at her Uncle's blatant attempt at misdirection. "Falling a bit out of your game there, are you Uncle Sev?"

"Concentrate on pulverising those nettles." Severus leered at her defensively.

"Oh the irony." Estella said suddenly, lowering her grinder.

"What is it?" Severus asked, looking at her curiously.

"The only time I ever scored anything less than an O from the man," She said, smirking at her Uncle victoriously. "Was when _you_ didn't strain the stewed Hellebore enough and we ended up with bits of it in our Draught of Peace."

"I still maintain that _you_ had a residual amount of the substance on your wand when you stirred the essence in." Severus countered her. "For I myself had never gotten an Exceeds Expectation before that particular assessment."

"You were sitting on a Acceptable average before then I take it?" Estella teased Severus, who gave her a sharp look of offence before returning to his work, his limbs moving jerkily.

"Hey, I didn't mean that you know." Estella assured him worriedly. "I was only messing with you."

Severus ignored her assurances and apologies, his features hardening in contempt. Then, just before his niece totally lost it and got too upset, he smirked, having satisfactorily played her at her own game.

"Touché, Uncle Sev." Estella marvelled at her Uncle. It wasn't very often he exhibited such… such, _playful_, intentions.

* * *

Upstairs, meanwhile, the house's two other occupants were pacing in the kitchen. 

"If my presence here is making you uncomfortable, Sirius, I can leave." Remus said sadly.

"What? Why, do you want to leave?" Sirius asked, shocked. "This is your home, Remus."

"Yes, but I'd understand if you wanted to revoke the invitation." Remus said.

"What? Oh…" Sirius paled as he reflected on that morning's events. "Remus… I… just forget it."

"Sirius." Remus cleared his throat. "I can never tell you how much that kid means to me. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her… either of you. Even stay away, if that's what will help you. I can't… I can't imagine the memories you have had to live with all this time."

"I'll get over it, Moony." Sirius smiled weakly. "I did the first time. When I thought she was someone else. I'll get over it again… it will just take time."

"Yes, well, if you need me to keep my distance until then, I will respect that." Remus said.

"Don't be ridiculous, Remus. I'd never keep you from her, never!" Sirius said firmly. "As far as the pair of you are concerned, it never even happened anyway. This is something I have to work through myself."

"Sirius, I would rather die than harm that child. You have to believe that." Remus said, brokenly. "If that night hadn't been undone…"

"Merlin, Remus, I have never doubted that for a moment." Sirius shook his head. "It's just that ever since she's been back every time I close my eyes I think of how close I came to hurting her… it was my fault."

"Maybe you've lived with that memory too long, Sirius." Remus said carefully, after considering the haunted look on his friend's face.

"What do you mean?" Sirius narrowed his eye at his friend.

"You went back in time and prevented it from happening." Remus assured him. "Why make the memory live on in your mind? Merlin Sirius, you think I slept well at night after you told me what had originally happened? It sickens me to think of what could have happened… what, for a few short hours, _did_ happen. I can't fathom what you must be going through, remembering the alternative!"

"But it's something James and I shared." Sirius sighed. "I want to forget, but…"

"…you won't be forgetting James, Sirius." Remus assured him. "If Prongs lived I bet you'd have made a pact to obliviate the moment from each other's memories a long time ago."

"Still, I want to keep the memory." Sirius said softly. "If only to deter me from acting so foolishly again.

"Very well, Sirius." Remus said, a pained look on his face. "But please, don't let it come between us."

"That could never happen." Sirius said firmly. "Let's just concentrate on what's best for Estella, okay? Just ignore her foolish old man. He'll get over it."

"I hope so, Sirius." Remus said softly. "I don't want things to change."

"If things change, it will only be for the better." Sirius vowed, his eyes flitting to the closed basement door. "What is taking them so long?"

"For Merlin's sake, Sirius, just go down there." Remus repeated his sentiment to the stubborn man before him. "She specifically requested I send you down after you woke up."

"But they haven't answered to my knock." Sirius whined. "I don't want to interrupt. I don't want to be seen _competing_ for Estella's attention."

"Sirius, listen to yourself!" Remus sighed at his insecure friend wearily. "How is Estella even going to know you even want to spend time with her if you give her such a wide berth? When she finds out you _didn't_ come down, she's going to think…"

"… I don't know what to do Moony." Sirius said helplessly, a lost look on his face. "I don't want to intrude."

"Sirius, it's your house. You're _free_ to go wherever you want." Remus patted his hand on his friend's shoulder reassuringly. "Besides, Severus has more or less had Estella to himself most of her life. He'd hardly have right to begrudge you this."

"But you heard Estella in the infirmary!" Sirius frowned. "She's not going to be able to…"

"She won't be able to see _us_ either, Padfoot." Remus growled at him. "For Merlin's sake would you stop being so damn stubborn and go! I never thought I'd see the day where you were _afraid_ to be in Severus Snape's company."

"I'm _not_ afraid of him." Sirius growled defensively. "It's… it's… _Estella_." He admitted quietly. "What if _she_ thinks I am intruding? What if she turns me away?"

"Sirius, she wouldn't do that." Remus' gaze soften as he saw just how tortured his friend was feeling. Sirius clearly felt threatened by the feelings Estella felt towards her Uncle and was unsure where he stood in his daughter's heart. "You're working yourself up for no reason."

"Well if I have no reason, why haven't _you_ gone down there, mmm?" Sirius raised a brow at his friend. "Admit it, you are just as hopeless as me."

"That's not the point, Sirius." Remus shook off his own doubts. "I wasn't the one invited down there."

"How long have you been up?" Estella suddenly appeared in the doorway, her searching eyes falling on their quarry sooner than they had expected. "Remus, I thought I told you to send him down when he woke up."

Animagus and werewolf shared a look, the two men cursing their foolish insecurities when Estella unknowingly set their fears to rest.

Hugging her father briefly, Estella looked up at him contentedly. "I'm sorry." She said, leaning into him. "I wouldn't have left you all alone up here with Psycho DJ here if I had known you were up. We could have done something."

"That's alright, missy." Sirius laughed in relief. He had been so stupid! "You're allowed to spend time with your Uncle, you know."

"I know." Estella smiled. "But I missed you."

"I was only upstairs having a sleep." Sirius explained, sleep still fogging his mind. "If I recall, you were the one who sent me there."

"Yes, but…" Estella sighed and hugged her father again. "Just do me a favour and sleep at _night_ from now on, alright?"

Sirius squeezed his daughter appreciatively and ruffled her hair. "Well I'm all yours now, what do you want to do?"

"I have an idea." Severus Snape suggested as he entered the kitchen carrying a goblet of familiar looking potion.

**End Chapter: Christmastime Contemplations **


	88. Flying High

Updated: Monday 13th June 2005

Disclaimer: Still not mine…

**Chapter Eighty Eight: Flying High**

"Let me get this straight, you've had this planned all along?" Sirius' mouth fell open in surprise as his unassuming brother-in-law nodded.

"I had a feeling you wouldn't be able to resist giving Estella a broomstick." Severus said by way of explanation. "And in the very least a child should be permitted to go outside."

"Uncle Sev…" Estella chewed on her bottom lip in contemplation. "What will you do? You can hardly be in two places at once… and where would we go? What if we're found…"

"Estella, don't worry about that today." Remus shook his head at her. "I am sure your father and Uncle will agree with me in saying that you mustn't let _him_ ruin your day."

"Quite right." Sirius nodded, followed shortly by Severus.

"I will regretfully have to take my leave to make an appearance at the School this afternoon." Severus answered his niece. "As for where you would best be suited to get some privacy in the great outdoors… Black, it is my understanding that your family's estate on the west coast is sufficiently warded and isolated for this purpose?"

"There's not a neighbour for miles, and its wards are ancient." Sirius confirmed, a wide smile creeping across his features. "It's perfect. We should be fine for an hour or so."

"But Dad, the ministry…" Estella frowned.

"Are understaffed on Christmas Day." Remus threw in. "Besides, they are looking for your father, not for your Uncle."

"Huh?" Estella shook her head, confused until she remembered the goblet of Polyjuice in her Uncle's hand. "Oh, yeah."

"So how about it, kiddo?" Sirius smiled, wrapping his arms around Estella's shoulders from behind. "Fancy a flying lesson?"

* * *

Broomsticks shrunken and securely fastened within their robes, the trio rugged up in their winter cloaks and gloves and apparated to the remote Black estate, Estella firmly transported in her Godfather's grip. 

"That was really cool of Uncle Sev to bring that potion." Estella marvelled for yet another time since her Uncle's departure for Hogwarts.

"He's a surprising man, your Uncle." Sirius replied, his borrowed face bearing an uncharacteristically bewildered look of surprise as he struggled to adjust to his polyjuiced form. Hearing his words come out in his brother-in-law's voice was taking some getting used to. "Remus, stop laughing."

"Hey, least you know what it was like for me last Summer now." The mirth-filled werewolf reminded his friend.

Sirius – as Severus – didn't say anything, choosing instead to stride ahead, the movement causing, to his horror, his robes to billow.

"Oh crap!" Sirius scowled at himself. "Now I know I am going insane."

Beside him, Estella sniggered slightly, her small hand finding its way into his thin, unfamiliar grip.

"Well, here's a good a place as any." Sirius said finally, after they had walked for some time. "The wards all appear to be in order."

"How do you know that?" Estella asked, confused. Her father hadn't so much as taken his wand out.

"The wards recognise me as their master." Sirius explained. "Just as they acknowledge you as their heir."

"How can you tell what's what?" Estella asked, closing her eyes as she tried to tap into whatever her father was able to sense. "I don't feel a thing."

"It's hard to explain." Sirius shook his head, dismissing his thoughts. "One day you will understand it."

Understanding the implication of what he had said, Estellla squeezed her hand in his a little more tightly and looked at him fiercely. "That better not be for an awful long time."

"I'm counting on it." Sirius squeezed her hand back comfortingly. "All right, are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." Estella took a deep breath and retrieved her new broomstick from her robes, holding it out to her Godfather to enlarge. With Sirius in a polyjuiced form, it was considered too risky to have him attempt to use his magic unless it could not be avoided. One could not be too cautious.

Standing in a row, Estella in the middle with her new Firebolt with father and Godfather flanking her on either side, the trio prepared to mount their brooms. Remus himself had a old but reliable Comet, and Sirius was using the old prototype Cleansweep broom that Estella's 'sponsors' had bestowed upon her while she was in the past. Her eye lingering on said broom for a moment, Estella was suddenly reminded of the knowledge the Ollertons had trusted her with all those years ago. Were they even still alive? She was just about to ask that question when the broom she had summoned into mounting position smacked into her open, outstretched palm. Curling her fingers around the shaft instinctively, Estella was taken aback when her mind began to mentally dissect and make note of every charm that had been placed upon the broom, equipping it to fly.

"Estella, are you alright?" Her uncle… no, father's… voice startled her back to conscious thought as her mind struggled to make sense of this new information. She hadn't felt this when she'd last flown in the past, on the Cleansweep. Had something happened to the Ollerton family, activating her obligation? As much as she tried to remember, she couldn't recall what Dumbledore had said about the implications of her role.

"Estella?" Remus' voice joined the fray, both men looking at her with concern.

"Sweetheart, don't feel like you have to do this." Sirius looked at her carefully. "We can go home if you like."

"No… it's not that." Estella shook her head, a far away look on her face as she gripped her broom tightly. Coming back to her senses she looked from her broom to her father's and back again, an idea forming in her mind. Smiling widely at her father, she set her mind in action. "Say, do you think the wards would mask a few spells from an under aged witch?"

"I don't know. Depends on the kind of magic accessed." Sirius frowned. "What spell do you want to cast?"

"I can't tell you." Estella said, a superior look on her face. "You're not in the Ollerton circle of trust."

"What?" Sirius recognised the reference, but did not understand the implications. Remus, on the other hand, perked up as though someone had just cast a lumos in his headspace.

"They… they didn't!" Remus gaped. Estella nodded slightly. "They did."

"Who did what?" Sirius stared between his daughter and friend, becoming increasingly put out at the feeling of being out of the loop.

"How would you like to fly on a Firebolt?" Estella grinned at her father's bewildered look.

"Oh no, sweetheart, you take the first turn." Sirius said, oblivious to the implications of her statement.

"Estella…" Remus cautioned. "You're under age."

"Trust me on this." Estella said, taking her father's broom from his numb, pliable hands and extracting her wand. "I have a feeling this particular magic is more than of age."

It made sense to think so anyway… she didn't feel any similar sort of symbiosis with brooms in the past because both she and the magic she had been entrusted with was not of legal age. Assuming that the age of the oath she swore dated from the day it was cast and not on her physiological age, then _that_ magic was little over twenty years old… thus explaining why now she could practically see the charms floating around the broom she was holding.

Closing her eyes and crossing her toes, hoping to the powers that be that she was not making a big mistake and endangering her academic future, Estella followed her gut instinct and cast a series of spells under her breath; ignoring the warnings and protests from her two guardians.

"Relax." She said, handing her slack-jawed father back his modified broom. "I'm just sorry I took twenty years to comply with your request. Now you can practice your Quidditch with a superior broom."

Sirius' eyes flew open, his mind finally registering what his daughter had just done to his broom.

"You… how?" Sirius spluttered, his mind doing back flips in confusion while the rest of him was simply itching to get up in the air.

Remus, meanwhile, exchanged a meaningful look with his goddaughter and handed him his broom willingly, his astute mind drawing the same conclusion that she had.

"For your sake, Estella, I hope you're right on this." He said, watching her work.

"Don't ask me how I know, but I just do." Estella shrugged, handing his broom back. "There you go, now we're all on equal steads."

No sooner had they gotten a few feet up in the air, however, did Sirius and Estella shudder and exchange a look of mortification.

"Someone's here." Estella and Sirius both gasped.

"Who, the ministry?" Remus frowned. "If that magic did register as under age, surely they would only have sent an Owl."

"It's not the Ministry." Estella said distantly, gesturing to her pendant.

"It's someone powerful." Sirius grimaced, his face wrought with worry as he flew closer to his daughter. In response to her unasked question, he nodded towards the south of the property, on the other side of the hill. "The wards alerted me."

"Let's land and apparate out of here." Remus said, already nudging the nose of his broom to point downward.

"No. That can be traced." Sirius said, cursing vehemently. "The wards would likely splinch us."

"It's no one friendly." Estella said suddenly, paling as her ring and pendant started glowing even brighter.

"How on earth did they find us?" Sirius swore after seeing his daughter's pendant. He'd not seen it look like that since… well, since that day.

"We can figure that out later! We need to leave." Estella said, frowning at how both men brandished their wands. "No. Dad, no one can see you like this! Especially not them! They'll know Uncle Sev is against them!"

"But are you going to be all right flying?" Sirius looked at her worriedly at where she hovered languidly. "I need to keep reminding myself that you're still recovering… and it'll be dark soon."

"I'll be happier flying than fighting!" Estella pointed out objectively.

"Right then, a Portkey to Hogwarts?" Remus suggested urgently.

Estella shook her head. "Only _present_ teachers of the school can activate emergency Portkeys to Hogwarts without prior notice." She laughed nervously at the bittersweet irony. Had her Uncle not been so rash as to perpetuate her Godfather's resignation, her Godfather would have been able to make a Portkey… yet here they were, on her Uncle's suggestion, with out assured means of escape. It was all so twisted. Glancing at her two consorts, Estella could see that the mirthless humour had not been lost on them either.

"We have to fly." Estella said resolutely. "In the unlikely event they all brought their brooms and they were all Firebolts, we can still get a jump on them."

"Estella's right," Remus said, flying closer to Estella so that he flanked her protectively on one side. "Let's get this show on the road."

As though snapping out of a trance, Sirius sprung into action. "We'll have to fly to Hogwarts. London is too far. They won't follow us to Hogwarts." He said analytically, moving so close to Estella that their knees brushed. "It will be alright Estella. You set the pace, alright? Don't over exert yourself… no matter what we'll get there."

"What happens if they guess where we're going and apparate to Hogsmeade before we…" Estella laid her fears out on the table as they began to fly into the cover of the low lying fog that shrouded the moors on the northern edge of the property furthest from the intruders seeking entry from the southern side. "And Dad, you can't be seen! Even as Uncle Sev! He's at the school too! What will you do?"

"Estella, calm down." Remus shifted the wand in his hand so that he could pat Estella's knee comfortingly. "Just concentrate on your broom for now, we'll deal with that when we get there, alright?"

As the fog grew thicker, Estella began to panic. "I can't see where I am going! I'm going to lose you!" She cried out, her body unwittingly urging her broom to slow down, causing her two escorts to overshoot their imposed boundaries and disappear into the thick atmosphere. Justifiably terrified, the disorientated, inexperienced flier screamed.

"Shhhh… it's alright." Two voices, two hands, suddenly came back into focus for the distraught child as she found herself flanked by the comforting warmth of a guardian on either side.

"Remus?" Sirius' voice called out to his friend. Though visibility was enough so that each man could see the girl between them, from the fugitive's perspective his mild mannered friend was but a distorted shadow at his daughter's side.

The clever werewolf seemingly reading his loyal friend's mind, Sirius sighed in relief when he could feel the assuring tug of his broomstick being magically anchored to his daughter's and the whispery thin loop of magical force wrapping itself around his waist, anchoring their bodies together too.

"Did you feel that, Estella?" Sirius could hear his friend explain to the sobbing child. "I just anchored our brooms and bodies to each other. There's no way we will lose each other or fall now, alright?"

"H-h-how do we know where we are going?" Estella stammered, her teeth chattering as a particularly icy cross wind blew in their faces.

"Directional spell." Sirius patted her knee. "Why don't you close your eyes, hold on tight, and let us get you there, mmm?"

"Then you would be towing me." Estella replied and Sirius could barely make out the frown on her face. "I'll slow us down."

"Estella, you're getting tired, I can tell." Remus said, his voice laced with worry. "You're still recovering… and this cold and your emotional state can't be helping things… Merlin we'd not planned for long-range flying."

"Dad, it's time to take another sip of your potion." Estella reminded her father, seemingly ignoring her Godfather's concerned observations.

To appease his daughter and give her one less thing to worry about, Sirius took a voluntary dose of the vile liquid and ensured his disguise for another hour.

For the next forty-five minutes the trio flew on in silence, each of them becoming increasingly too cold and weary to fuel a conversation; and each of them increasingly concerned about what was waiting for them at their destination. What if the Death Eaters – and they _had_ to be Death Eaters – anticipated their escape route and cut them off en route?

After they passed through the moors and exited the fog, they had no choice but to fly into the clouds overhead so as to remain out of sight of both pursuing eyes and Muggles. All the while Estella was pushing herself to her limits and beyond, the weary child insistent upon keeping her broom at an optimal speed and not slowing them down. Her energy was rapidly draining however, her family growing increasingly concerned when the shivering child's posture began to slump and sway with fatigue.

"Almost there." Sirius assured her, his eyes staring over at Remus as they grappled with the unspoken decision to guide the near-unconscious child to land take the chance of apparating to Hogsmeade.

"The Shrieking Shack." Sirius said softly, as he caught his daughter reflexively as her feet hit the ground and her legs crumbled from under the weight.

Remus nodded and cancelled the charms anchoring them together.

"Give me Estella." He gestured for the near-incoherent child leaning heavily against her father. "Apparating in a borrowed form is difficult enough without a passenger."

Sirius paused, his hairs standing on end as he entertained the notion of his daughter alone in the shrieking shack with his werewolf friend.

Reading his mind, Remus sighed sadly. "It's not a full moon for another week and a half, Sirius." Remus said. "Please, Padfoot. Trust me?"

Sirius shook the haunting memories from his mind and nodded, guiding Estella into Remus' firm embrace. "Don't wait for me. Use the tunnel. Padfoot will follow."

Estella made a small noise of protest but was too tired to let her sentiment be known. Instead, she grasped blindly for her father, grabbing the edge of his sleeve and holding on for dear life.

"It's alright, sweetheart." Sirius assured her, raising her hand to his lips, which he then brushed over her palm in a kiss. "You go with Moony. I will be right behind you, I promise."

Remus looked at Sirius sharply as though to warn him against making promises he may not be able to keep. In his attempts to evade capture – from either the Ministry or otherwise, he may have to implement a contingency plan. Whether from fatigue or accepting trust, the men didn't know, but Estella's grip on her father relented, enabling Remus to apparate the child to familiar territory.

In a blink, Sirius followed.

* * *

Thirty minutes later found the trio safely in the confines of the offices of Albus Dumbledore. 

"I am afraid that Malfoy is now aware where you have been, child." Albus informed the weary Ravenclaw and her entourage gravely.

"No shit Sherlock." Estella mumbled under her breath, not realising she had said it aloud.

"Estella!" Three voices addressed her sternly as Father, Godfather and Uncle admonished her language, the latter having being withdrawn from his duty as chaperone at the Yule Ball to attend.

"Sorry." Estella sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I would have just thought that much was obvious." She said.

"Though we would like to know how." Sirius rubbed his forehead agitatedly, his whole demeanour still on edge.

"You say you modified a broom, child?" Albus asked the youngest member of the room inquiringly. Estella nodded. "I can only guess then, that Lucius Malfoy used his contacts at the Ministry to be alerted when Aries Ollerton's magical signature was identified."

"But Aries Ollerton is a squib." Estella frowned.

"He means _your_ magical signature." Sirius corrected her lightly. "The one that was registered twenty years ago when you enrolled in Hogwarts, am I right, Headmaster?"

"But wouldn't Estella's signature be one and the same with what she had in the past?" Remus knotted his brows.

"Yes and yes." Albus said, pausing for a moment to try and determine the best way to explain. "I daresay if you cast a regular spell it would still alert the Ministry to the use of under aged magic… but the magic you called upon to alter those brooms was specifically tied to the magical signature registered in the past." He paused again. "After Mr Malfoy was alerted to the fact that you were the Aries Ollerton at Hogwarts, I have no doubt he has had a advantageous idea of what to watch for."

Estella lowered her head shamefully, her cheeks burning. "I'm sorry." She said, looking up regretfully and meeting the concerned eyes of her three family members. "It's my fault… I should never have done the spell…"

"No, not it's not your fault." Sirius and Remus assured her vehemently.

"I didn't anticipate there would be any harm in doing it." Remus admitted, placing his hand over his chest in emphasis. "I'm older than you I should have been the one with better judgement."

"And I should have started you on a slower broom that our brooms would keep pace with." Sirius added softly.

"I'm the one who underestimated the risks and suggested the idea in the first place." Severus threw in, disappointed at himself. "What's done is done. We can only look forward now."

Three other heads nodded slowly.

"What do we do now, Albus?" Remus asked quietly. "Now they know."

"Well there will be no harm in Estella reuniting with her classmates before term begins again. Most of the school remained over the holidays for the Yule Ball this year, child." Albus replied.

A sad look crossed over Estella's face. When she had been in the past Hogwarts had been within days of a Yule Ball too; and now she was in her own time and while things at Hogwarts didn't seem to have changed, everything was so different. No one who she had been to school with last were students anymore. Not all of them were even alive.

"I'd like to go back home." Estella said looking at her father, Uncle and Godfather pleadingly. "I don't know if I can… if I can…"

"It's alright, Estella, you don't have to try to explain." Sirius consoled her, putting his arm around her shoulder as he tried to fathom how difficult it would be for his daughter to return to classes without the people she had become accustomed to seeing everyday. "Merlin, you're ice cold!"

Estella wrapped her arms around herself and shivered in response. "No, I'm alright."

Remus and Severus looked at her sharply, while Sirius was already hauling his daughter to her feet.

"Infirmary. Now." One of the men insisted.

"No." Estella protested. Madame Pomfrey would go off her nut if she found out she'd been out gallivanting around the countryside on a broomstick. She'd never be allowed to leave the infirmary again! "Please, it's _Christmas_. I just want to go home and sleep in my own bed." Then, looking at her Uncle for sympathy – for she knew the man shared her dislike for infirmaries – she added; "There's no potion there that I can't get at home. I promise I will rest!"

"Headmaster, will it be safe for her at the house?" Sirius turned to the headmaster, his hand resting comfortingly at the nape of his daughter's neck.

"Sirius, she should be in the infirmary." Remus pressed. "Look what happened when she last got released prematurely…"

"Oh, I daresay her convalescence can be secured in a domestic setting." Severus said, leaping to Estella's defence. "The potions supply at the house is extremely well stocked."

"See, told you there was a point to keeping a house stocked…" Estella mumbled sleepily as she leant into her father's side.

"Albus?" Sirius looked to the trusted headmaster for approval.

His twinkling blue eyes silently watching the unique family unit operate, Albus Dumbledore smiled at the protective father before him. "I see no reason why Estella cannot be as safe at your family's home in London as what young Harry is well protected at his family's home in Surrey." He said, noting inwardly that both children's mothers had, to some varying degree, died so that their child could live; and that kind of sacrifice was a powerful thing. "Estella, I look forward to seeing you in the new year. I hope you had a Merry Christmas"

"Thank you, Headmaster." Estella smiled weakly, glad to be going back home for the rest of the holidays. "Merry Christmas to you too."

The older men exchanged their festive greetings and farewells before Flooing back to London.

Once back in the cosy warmth of their rather festive-looking living room, father and daughter collapsed on the couch in a heap while Remus went into the kitchen to make some hot chocolate for them all and Severus went downstairs to fetch a series of potions for his niece.

"You don't seem to have much luck with brooms, do you?" Sirius asked his daughter suddenly. "I'm sorry your lesson was so eventful."

"Oh it wasn't all bad." Estella replied, a wistful look in her eye. "I wasn't afraid of falling… the fog was so thick I just told myself I was really close to land."

"Seeing ahead was another matter, though." Remus said, shivering at the thought of having only a wand to guide them as he walked back into the room having left the kettle to boil.

"Yes, but I trusted that you both knew where you were going." Estella said simply. "Next time it will be better."

"Next time?" Sirius looked at his daughter hopefully.

"Yeah, next time." Estella yawned, resting her head on her father's shoulder. "Maybe we can bring Harry along and you guys can teach me how to play Quidditch."

"What about your vertigo?" Remus looked at her questioningly.

"Well if I wasn't going to fall off flying how we did today, I think it will be spectacularly difficult to fall off otherwise."

"Yes, but Quidditch has bludgers and bad boys with beaters…"

"Oh… oh yeah." Estella said apologetically reneging on her idea to try the dangerous sport.

"That's alright, sport, I'm just happy to see you're able to fly if you need to." Sirius squeezed his daughter reassuringly just as Severus entered the room, a series of vials in his hands. "Right, bedtime Missy." Her father added.

"Do I have to?" Estella asked automatically, getting her answer by means of three sets of eyes glaring at her determinedly. "Oh all right."

"I'll bring you up a hot chocolate." Remus promised her before darting back into the kitchen to see to the kettle.

"Do I have to drink _all_ of those potions?" Estella asked wearily as she rose to her feet. "I hardly think the Calming Draught and the Dreamless Sleep are necessary."

"Just go upstairs and get ready for bed." Severus chastised her lightly. "I know what I am doing."

* * *

Ten minutes later, three sets of weary feet followed the path the belligerent child had stomped up ten minutes previously, coming to a stop behind her closed door. Knocking firmly, they were alarmed to hear no response. 

"Do you think she's already asleep?" Sirius frowned, reaching for the door knob.

"Sirius, wait." Remus said, juggling the mug of hot chocolate in his hand so he could pull out his wand. "Silencing charms on her door, remember? Finite."

The three men started as the sudden burst of blaring music assaulted their senses.

"She said she would take it easy!" Sirius growled, twisting the door knob and leading the way. "Estella!"

Estella was sitting at the end of her bed running a brush through her hair, her bare feet tapping to the beat of the music while her chin nodded slightly. Just as they walked in, Estella had her brush in mid-stroke, the handle temporarily finding itself as a makeshift microphone as the resilient child lip-synched the song's hook.

"I've been looking for this CD!" Remus admonished, moving over to the shelf to turn the music down.

"I thought you were supposed to be taking it easy." Sirius shook his head at his daughter. "You're going to end up in St Mungos if you're not careful."

"What on earth were you listening to?" Severus asked, setting the vials of potion down on her bedside table, his face a mask of revulsion before he waved his wand jerkily at his niece's feet, covering them in thick woollen socks.

"Pearl Jam." Both Estella and Remus answered.

"What's that?" Sirius asked, taking the brush from his daughter and turning down her bed. "Sounds to me like some Muggle breakfast spread."

Estella laughed. "You are sooo sad." She shook her head in mock-disgust. "Try, "What is Muggle band" for £50."

"Music off." Sirius threw Remus a look to where he was standing by the stereo pouring over the liner notes of his recovered CD. Then, looking at Estella he kissed the top of her head. "And you, bed."

"Can't I listen to some music _while_ I am in bed?" Estella whined, snuggling under the covers.

"No." Three voices answered in synchronisation.

"Oh so not fun." Estella pouted. "Moony you just want the CD back so you can drive them nuts with it downstairs all night, don't you?"

Remus grinned wolfishly at her, looking altogether like a cat who had just the mouse. Severus looked at Remus warily and prepared himself for an evening of potion brewing in the house's blissfully closed off lab.

"Oh I don't know about that." Sirius chuckled. "From what I heard of it, sounds like my kind of music."

"Really?" Estella's eyes widened.

"Over half of those old records Remus tells me you keep flogging are mine, you know." Sirius reminded his daughter.

"Oh yeah." Estella said. "Well feel free to borrow any of my CDs whenever. You have a bit of catching up to do."

Standing behind his brother-in-law, who was sitting on the edge of Estella's bed, Severus cleared his throat. "Drink these." He said, handing her a vial one at a time, watching her carefully as she ingested each prescribed dosage.

"Thanks Uncle Sev." Estella yawned, settling back down on her pillows. "Goodnight everyone."

Remus bade his goodnight from where he stood by her desk sipping on _her_ abandoned hot chocolate while Severus wished the child well from where he was clearing away the empty potions vials on the side of her bed. Sirius, meanwhile, did the job of tucking her in and kissing her goodnight.

"Sweet dreams." He said, rising to stand by her bed and activate her night light.

_"_No sweet dreams…" the already half asleep child murmured as the potions in her system began to pull her under. "Had dreamless sleep potion… silly Dad…"

* * *

The next morning Estella awoke feeling suitably refreshed after a long sleep. Pulling her arm back onto the bed from where it had spent most of the night dangling off the edge of the mattress, Estella rubbed it with her other hand to try and get some warmth back into it only to find her hand was lathered in slobber. 

"Oh, gross." Estella screwed up her face in disgust, her eyes seeking out her father's animagus form. "Were you trying to make me wet the bed or something, you silly dog!"

Everyone knew if you wanted someone to lose bladder control in their sleep you put their hand in a bucket of warm water.

Sirius – as Padfoot – appeared from under her bed and barked at her urgently, taking the edge of her blanket in his mouth and pulling it from the child who had settled back down on her mattress.

"Alright, alright, I'm up!" Estella growled, reaching for her bathrobe and slippers to feign off the sudden exposure.

Once she was out of bed, Sirius grabbed the hem of her robe and pulled her towards the bathroom, nudging her in there.

Five minutes later Estella emerged, her faced washed, hair brushed and teeth clean. Still, Padfoot sniffed at her disdainfully and nudged her back into the bathroom.

"What?" Estella scorned, defensively. "Are you saying _I_ smell? That's rich." The dog barked sharply and nudged her a little more urgently. "Alright, I'll have a shower. Anything to get rid of the dog cooties! You're so going to get it later…"

Another ten minutes later, Estella emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam all dressed for the day and with a sly smile on her face. Looking around for her father's animagus form, her grin widened as she snuck up on his sleeping form where he lay curled up on her bed. In one quick moment she threw the dripping wet bath towel – the one she had intentionally soaked in cold water – over the unsuspecting animagus.

Yelping in surprise, Padfoot writhed on the bed in shock, trying to shake the heavy wet towel off his back. Barking at his daughter indignantly, the duped dog rued the child's sense of timing. Somehow she just knew he wouldn't be able to reciprocate her prank while she was all ready for the day.

"Alright, Dad, what's up." Estella said, eyeing the dog carefully when it didn't make any move to pounce on her and soak her through in retribution. "You can transform now."

Sirius barked and gestured towards the door.

"Someone's here, aren't they?" Estella nodded knowingly, smirking when the dog nodded.

"Merlin," she sniggered, her stomach rumbling heartily in her mirth. "I think I am going to rename you, Lassie."

Padfoot barked in protest and squished his shaggy, wet paws over to the door.

* * *

Making her way downstairs, Estella entered the living room where her Godfather was in the company of an older, unidentifiable man. Her uncle was nowhere to be seen. 

"Good Morning, I'm sorry I took so long." Estella explained by way of greeting. "Lassie here isn't that effective at communicating. Uncle Remus I told you we should have gotten that Collie."

Recognising the inference, Remus choked on his tea, coughing and spluttering ungraciously as he tried to compose himself.

"Estella," Remus managed finally after casting a drying spell at the droopy looking dog. "I would like for you to meet Benson Ollerton."

If Estella had been holding anything at that moment, she would have dropped it.

"Oh." Estella said, holding out her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you at last, sir."

The unexpected meeting with the head of her 'sponsor' family from her time in the past proceeded to pass without a hitch. Benson too had been aware of the moment when Estella had called upon his family's magic to modify a broom and had sought Dumbledore out immediately, keen to meet the person he had entrusted with his family's secrets at last. After he had been briefed on the true nature of Estella's passage in the past and her rightful place here in the present time, the simple man had, naturally, been a little surprised; but he took it all in his stride.

Originally, as Benson took great detail in explaining to Estella and her guardian, when Dumbledore had approached him for help, he had only been told that there was a child whose identity needed concealing. Trusting the Headmaster's judgement implicitly, Benson went on to explain about the purpose of her role and commended her on her spell casting abilities.

"When you were made a conduit," He explained. "No one expected that you would actually be able to modify a broom."

"Oh?" Estella's ears pricked up, interested.

"You are a caretaker." Benson said. "Your role was to keep the knowledge alive and pass it on to an appropriate person. It's a unprecedented feat that you were actually able to call upon it for your own uses."

"Oh, I apologise." Estella frowned. "Was I not supposed to?"

"I am not displeased with you, child." Benson assured her. "Quite to the contrary, actually. It is highly advantageous. Tell me what happened. How you did it. Everything."

"Oh? I can't explain how… wasn't it because of the information I sworn to keep safe?" Estella knotted her brow in confusion.

"Quite possibly, Estella." Benson smiled at her warmly. "The situation is quite unique. The rite we enacted was ancient, even then, and had not been used for such business before."

"So it was an accident, then, that I was able to…" Estella said, feigning disinterest in her fugitive father as said animagus padded into the room – suitably dry thanks to Remus' spell – and rested his head in her lap protectively.

"A very fortunate one." Benson smiled. "You see, Estella, the Firebolt is not a Cleansweep broom. That you were able to recreate the broom is a lucky and unexpected happenstance."

"Is that why you're here?" Estella asked suspiciously, her lips curling into a wry grin. "You'd like to know what spells I used."

"Well I did first and foremost wish to meet you." Benson said honestly. "I didn't know the significance of what you did until I got here… though the Company would be indebted to you if you were to disclose details to us."

"Wouldn't that, I don't know, be like plagiarism or something? Sabotage?" Estella frowned, thinking of the evil Mr Slugworth from the Muggle storybook "Charlie and The Chocolate Factory".

"I assure you that all broom companies have entire departments of curse-breakers and charms specialists working around the clock researching other brooms and trying to extract information we can redevelop." Benson explained. "There are patents in place preventing us from releasing a specifically _identical_ broom, though our Research and Development Department team would reward you handsomely for your contribution to their efforts. The machinations of the Firebolt continue to allude my staff."

"I really don't even remember what I did." Estella confided warily. "It was a spur of the moment thing… most likely a fluke."

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to, Estella." Remus patted her knee. "Does she, Mr Ollerton?"

"No, no, of course not." Benson said half-heartedly the imminent disappointment evident in his tone. "But think about it, please? You can name the broom we develop…"

Padfoot barked excitedly, nudging Estella's wand hand eagerly. Of all the times James and he would spend entire Hogsmeade visits cocooned in Quality Quidditch Supplies or sprawled in the Gryffindor Common Room pouring over _Which Broomstick?_ dreaming about becoming famous Quidditch players and having brooms named after them! This opportunity was too good to be true.

"I'll need to think about it." Estella said. "See if I can note down what I did."

"Very well." Benson said shortly. "Though I must point out that my company gets first option. I wouldn't want you compromising your oath in any way."

Padfoot growled softly at the unassuming man's veiled threat while Estella and Remus settled for a sharp look.

"I do appreciate everything you did for me in the past." Estella thanked him politely. "I'm not interested in business. You would be the only one I'd even consider. I just need to get my head around the idea and consult with my guardians. This is all rather unexpected."

"I am sure you are aware of the delicate political climate that the Wizarding world is in the midst of at the moment." Remus reminded the man of the looming issues of war and destruction upon them, trying to give the man perspective. "You appear to be a captive audience for Albus."

"Yes, yes, I do apologise if I came across a little desperately." The man apologised. "I didn't expect to be making business propositions today either. It's just that ever since I became the last surviving Ollerton my company has lost its competitive edge… and well I am sure you can appreciate a man's desire to secure the survival of his father's life's work."

Estella patted her father's head absently and looked at the man sympathetically. In her eyes it wasn't a whole lot different than the situation she found herself in trying to covertly secure her father's freedom. "You say you are the last surviving member of your family? I am terribly sorry to hear that, sir. I had been looking forward to meeting your wife and daughter and thanking them personally one day."

"Yes, well…" The man hesitated, uncomfortable about talking about the emotional topic of his deceased family. Changing the subject, he smiled at the girl before him warmly. "Well, Remus, Estella… it was very nice meeting you…" Benson said awkwardly, rising to leave. "But I should probably get back to my day and let you get on with yours. Thank you for seeing me on such short notice."

Child and Godfather shook the old man's hands congenially and saw him off to the Floo. The poor man looked as though he was eager to get home so he could wallow in the loss of his family – and who could blame him, the holidays were notoriously depressing for grieving loved ones.

"Well that was certainly interesting." Sirius stretched lazily as he transformed the instant their visitor had left.

"Estella, are you all right?" Remus looked at his goddaughter carefully. "You look troubled."

"Dumbledore trusts him, right?" Estella asked warily.

"Yes." Remus said without hesitation. "Most of that family he spoke of died fighting in the first war. Albus would not have sent him on if he couldn't be trusted."

"Then how come Dad had to stay in his animagus form?" Estella challenged.

"Estella whether or not a person can be trusted is one thing." Sirius said, coming over and putting his arm around his child's shoulder. "It's whether or not _they_ can bring themselves to trust our story. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Estella nodded, sighing. "I mean, you can't really go around telling just everyone that you were all illegal Animagi and have them believe it all." She paused. "Still, something about that man made me feel uncomfortable."

"His business is coming close to being bought out by his competitors… it's made him a little anxious." Remus explained. "You should have seen the hope in his eyes when I told him what you did to our brooms."

"Do you think I should do it? Dad… what do you think?" Estella asked.

"I think it would be a nice gesture to show your appreciation for your being able to assume his daughter's identity in the past." Sirius said insightfully, though the childish glint in his eye was barely contained. "And think of it, you will get to name your own model of broomstick! I don't want to push you, but I have a few suggestions…"

Remus snorted derisively. "That's an understatement!" He said, sharing a meaningful look at Estella, the younger child able to recall for herself how manic her father and James had been about brooms.

Thinking about her father and James, however, filled her heart with sadness once more. The thought of her father, free and fun-loving; and James, equally full of life and promise; and how neither boy truly existed anymore caused Estella's breath to hitch in her throat.

"Alright, I'll see what I can do." She sighed, her mind determined to do something in memory of the people time had taken away from them. "Ugh, Dad… you smell like wet dog!"

"Estella's right." Remus chuckled, pinching his nose. "Not good, Sirius."

Growling playfully, Sirius made a show of sniffing himself and looking disgusted with himself. "Not nearly as bad as how I smelt _last_ year." He shrugged nonchalantly, referring to the 12-year-stench he had carried around with him from his time in Azkaban. Making his way upstairs to freshen up. "But a man does have his pride."

"I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be _thankful_ for his sense of pride." Remus said to Estella, grinning slightly.

"I heard that!" An indignant voice cried out in protest from the upper landing. Coming down the stairs slightly, Sirius called after his daughter. "And who the heck is Lassie!"

End Chapter: Flying High


	89. Breaking Habits

Updated: Friday 17th June 2005

Disclaimer: Not mine.

**Chapter Eighty Nine: Breaking Habits **

"…Now I'm ready to close my eyes  
And now I'm ready to close my mind  
And now I'm ready to feel your hand  
And lose my heart on the burning sands  
And now I wanna be your dog  
And now I wanna be your dog  
Now I wanna be your dog  
Well c'mon…" (1) Sirius sang with abandon, lost in his own little world.

"Well transform then, and stop torturing me with that wailing!" Estella leant against the doorframe, an amused smirk on her face as she saw her father startle at her unannounced presence.

"Estella! I didn't hear you coming!" Sirius spun around from the kitchen bench, where he had been making himself a coffee, and blinked at his daughter.

"I'd be surprised if you could have heard anything at all." Estella continued to smirk as she took a step into the room.

"How long have you been standing there?" Sirius mock-scowled at his daughter, slightly embarrassed at being caught out singing to himself so wholeheartedly. "…and don't smirk like that! You look entirely too much like a Snape when you do!"

Estella cocked a brow at her father in amused challenge and took another step toward her father.

"Oh now look, that's just worse!" Sirius shook his head and rubbed his temples, playing along. He too took a step towards the centre of the room. "I fear I shall have to regale you with another song!"

"Oh no, Dad, not another song!" Estella assumed a face of fake horror and covered her ears dramatically. "Anything but that! I can't do magic out of school! There'd be no escaping it!"

"Good." Sirius challenged her with a smirk of his own, and took another step towards her, inescapably closing the gap. Wrapping her in his arms, he kissed the top of her head. "Got you."

"I'm really scared." Estella drawled, snuggling into the embrace and yawning on account of the early hour. "Look, I'm shaking."

"Happy New Year, kiddo." Sirius smiled into her hair, and gave her a final squeeze before pulling away. It never ceased to amaze him just how far they had come since their very first meeting, that night in the Tower. "I can't believe you fell asleep before midnight!"

"Yeah, well, I was kinda tired!" Estella yawned again. "And what are you saying, you're the big lump that fell asleep on my feet first!"

"Yeah, well, I was kinda tired!" Sirius mimicked his daughter. "We'll have to do something nice for Moony, since he got us off to bed."

"What are you thinking?" Estella asked eagerly. "Breakfast in bed?"

"Better." Sirius said, a malevolent glint to his eye. "I was thinking more along the lines of a early morning serenade."

"Dad…" Estella warned.

"What? We missed midnight! I didn't get to sing Auld Lang Syne!" Sirius protested. "I refuse to wait a whole year! Besides, I've been warming up for it all morning!"

"You were going to wake us all up with your singing with a Sonorus Charm, weren't you?" Estella narrowed her eyes at her father.

He grinned sheepishly. "I was going to give you all another half hour, but I see you beat me." He pouted. "Spoil sport. I had it all planned!"

"I'm sure you did." Estella said. "But if you want to start off the new year with a disgruntled Werewolf and Death Eater on your case, then it's your funeral."

"Your Uncle stayed here last night?" Sirius frowned. "Bugger. I'm jovial, not suicidal."

"Good call." Estella nodded, hauling herself up onto the counter, so that she could face her father as he returned to his coffee brewing. "So how long you been up for, anyway?"

"Too long." Sirius yawned, a quietly pensive look coming over his face before he shook it off and stirred his coffee.

"Dad…" Estella asked, leaning forward so that her head rested on his shoulder. Something about the sudden shift in her father's demeanour had sparked a concern. "How come I never see you sleep?"

"Because I sleep when you're asleep." Sirius said simply, absently spooning sugar into his coffee.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." Estella frowned slightly. "You always sleep in your animagus form… and never in a bed."

"What makes you say that?" Sirius stopped stirring his coffee and looked at his daughter. "I am always up before you."

"Not always." Estella gave him a knowing look. "I found you on the couch yesterday, and the morning before Padfoot was giving me a dead leg."

"Got to stop you duelling in your sleep somehow." Sirius joked lightly, referring to Estella's tendency to sleep restlessly, before taking a sip of his coffee and promptly spitting it out because it was too sweet. "Ugh!"

"Something is bothering you." Estella looked at him assertively. "You must have put 8 teaspoons of sugar in that cup, and you didn't even notice!"

"Well maybe I wanted my coffee sweet." Sirius argued lightly, forcing himself to take another sip of the sickening brew to prove his point.

"Dad…" Estella said.

"Estella…" Sirius echoed.

"It's not funny." She frowned. "I'm worried about you."

"Don't be silly." Sirius smiled weakly and tried to brush it off. "That's my job, not yours."

"Have you even been in your room since we've been here?" Estella refused to let the matter rest, choosing instead to ignore her father's banter and lay her suspicions out on the table. "The door is still locked, and the other day I saw you come out of Remus' bathroom grumbling about Uncle Sev taking over the guest room."

Sirius could only stand agape at his daughter while he collected himself together.

"You are entirely too observant, you know that?" Sirius said wearily, wiping a hand over his face.

"I grew up with a Slytherin, what do you expect?" Estella smirked humouredly before re-schooling her face into a mask of seriousness.

"You haven't been able to bring yourself to go back in there, have you?" Estella asked knowingly when her father didn't say anything. He continued to stare at her blankly, blinking furiously as though trying to keep something repressed.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Estella said sadly. "Oh, Dad."

Sirius could only bow his head. Seeking both to give and receive comfort, Estella's hand snaked its way into her father's larger hand. Startled by the intimate contact, the man flinched reflexively and had to consciously stop himself from jerking his hand away.

"I'm sorry." Sirius croaked thickly as he pulled his child into a fierce hug. "I'm… I'm not… I'm not right."

"It's all right." Estella squeezed her father reassuringly. "I know you don't mean to."

"You shouldn't have to see that." Sirius said softly, the wet shimmer of tears absorbed by her hair as he muffled a sob in her embrace. "I'm sorry I'm so weak."

Estella pulled away sharply. "Don't say that" She shook her father back to his senses. "You are the strongest person I know! No one else could have come out of that place after all that time as intact as you are!"

"It was all your doing." Sirius admitted to his daughter. "If I didn't have you… if you had turned me away that day… Merlin if anything happened to you…"

"Don't you talk like that! Don't!" Estella cried, scolding her father harshly. "I worry enough about you."

"That's it, you shouldn't have to worry… that's why I am weak." Sirius sighed self-depreciatively. His mind drifting elsewhere, he inhaled a shaky breath. "She was the last person to sleep in that bed."

Realising what her father was talking about, Estella took her father's hands in hers to ground him and looked him in the eyes. "You have to let her go, Dad." She said sadly, tears welling up in her eyes as the memories of her mother's 15year old self were so fresh in her mind. "We both do. She wouldn't want this."

"You're right." Sirius said gratefully, chuckling mirthlessly. "Merlin, who is supposed to be the parent here?"

"We'll do it together, okay?" Estella said firmly, tugging her father's hands behind her as she pushed herself off the counter and headed towards the door.

"What, now?" Sirius struggled to pull himself together – he didn't feel quite ready.

"I want to see you sleeping in your own bed." Estella urged him. "You will feel so much better for it."

"It's 9am." Sirius pointed out.

"So, you can lie in… pretend you're sick and spend the whole day in bed." Estella rolled her eyes. "I'll even keep you company. We can pretend we're on a life raft in the middle of the ocean waiting to be rescued. I'm supposed to be taking it easy anyway, remember?"

"You can do that in your own bed…" Sirius argued lightly, resisting less and less as his daughter pulled him up the stairs.

"So can you." Estella smirked at him victoriously as she pushed him down the hall. Sirius was had. "Now, where's the key?"

Sirius took a deep breath and grasped the door knob firmly in his hand, twisting it slowly, watching with amusement as Estella's mouth flew open.

"It was never locked." Sirius said quietly, holding his breath as he pushed the door open slowly. "Little trick of your mother's."

"Oh." Estella said, peering into the musty, darkened room. "After you."

"No, we do this together." Sirius said, taking his hand in his and pulling her in with him.

Once inside, Estella was reluctant to touch anything. Standing alone in the centre of the room while her father walked habitually towards the window, intent on throwing open the curtains, Estella had to blink away the sudden assault of morning light and shield her eyes when the room was suddenly bathed in light. Her eyes gradually adjusting to the glare, Estella took in the sight of the life her parents had shared for the first time. The bed was wide and high, dishevelled yellow sheets that were once white preserved the faintest outline of bodies. On one side, her mother's, the sheets were telling of a woman who was close to birth. Pillows still lay near the foot of the bed where the woman had likely last propped her feet in slumber, and a errant strand of dark hair clung to the soft down pillow that had last cradled her mother's head. On her father's side, parts of the mattress were exposed where he had restlessly unhinged the bedclothes in his sleep; and the blankets were tortuously twisted. Estella noted with a heavy weight in her heart that her father's pillows were distinctively closer to her mother's.

He had held her in his arms as they slept.

Averting her burning eyes to take in the rest of the room, the choking lump in the base of Estella's throat only grew as she took in the sight of her mother's presence. The jewellery on the bedside table. The uncapped lipstick on the dresser. The discarded robe on the chair and worn slippers by the bed. The towel frozen in time as it moulded to the shape of the bathroom door. In all it was not too much different from how her mother's room at Snape Manor had been preserved, but something about this room made it different. It was the subtle masculine touches: the Quidditch magazines cluttering the nightstand on the opposite side of the bed, the cologne bottle, the wedding photo on the desk and messily discarded robe on the floor. The room represented a moment frozen in time, a time when her parents were normal people… a loving, newly wed couple with a baby on the way and friends and social lives and freedom and their whole lives ahead of them. It was a room full of promises and a room full of harsh reminders and shattered dreams.

Catching the forlorn look on her father's face as he stood, frozen by the window with his hand still on the curtain chord, his eyes dull and pained as he faced his room for the first time without its cohabitant alive, Estella could stand no more. Her legs crumbling beneath her, Estella dropped to the floor in a unpractised heap and began to sob, the pain of loss evident in the room all too much for her. In a flash, Sirius was across the room and kneeling on the floor by his daughter's side; pulling her into his arms as they held each other and wept – their pain finally allowed to surface and run its course.

After an indeterminate period of time, Remus awoke to find a particular door in the hallway open. His eyes widening at the ramifications, the silent werewolf chanced a look through the open doorway. Upon seeing the father and daughter on the floor in the centre of the room, sobbing in each other's arms, Remus felt an unfamiliar release of weight in his chest. Whilst it pained him to see is loved ones in pain, the wise werewolf was glad to see the closest thing he had to family finally coming to terms with their losses and letting go… just as he had managed to do for himself over the years.

Turning away and walking downstairs to fix himself a coffee, Remus left the pair to work through their emotions together, comfortable in the knowledge that they were there for each other… something that once upon a time he never thought he'd get to see.

* * *

Not long after Remus had put the coffee on and busied himself preparing a cooked breakfast, did father and daughter follow their noses back down to the kitchen. 

"Happy New Year." Sirius greeted his friend jovially, a new light shining in his eyes. Both father and daughter had evidently taken the time to wash away the physical evidence of their earlier tears.

"Hi Moony." Estella said happily, snaking her arms around her Godfather's waist as he dished up their breakfast. "That smells nice."

"So you noticed." Remus said lightly, kissing the top of her head as she briefly rested it in the nook of his shoulder. "I doubt your timing was incidental."

"We opened up Dad's room this morning." Estella said brightly as she sat next to her father at the kitchen table and gave her father's hand a reassuring squeeze. "We're going to make a new start for the new year, aren't we?"

Sirius could only nod.

Catching his friend's eye knowingly, Remus smiled encouragingly. "Sounds like a very good idea to me."

"Where's Uncle Sev?" Estella asked, noting the lack of an extra setting at the table. "Did he even come back here last night?"

"I do believe he was called to the school after you both fell asleep last night." Remus said. "Something about students causing a furore in the Common Room."

"Bugger." Sirius said with all manner of seriousness, causing Remus to stare at him in confusion. Estella, meanwhile, choked on her milk.

"What?" Remus frowned, taking in the body language between father and daughter. "Am I missing something?"

"Nothing you would actually miss." Estella tried to assure him.

"Sirius?" Remus peered at his friend curiously. "Care to elaborate?"

"Not really." Sirius chirped with an air of mystery, though he did start to hum Auld Lang Sine between mouthfuls.

"Sirius, you do know that it's not advisable for you to use your wand until things are cleared?" Remus reminded his friend, not quite sure what the man had originally planned for that morning, but knowing that his fellow Marauder had been planning something.

"Huh? I'm sorry, Moony, I couldn't hear you through my mouthful." Sirius blinked at his friend innocently. "Estella, could you pass the salt?"

Remus slumped back in his chair, defeated. Though he had always been the most level-headed of the Marauder's it didn't mean that he enjoyed being kept out of the loop. Seeing the look of resignation on her Godfather's face, Estella grinned slightly and leant closer to her father.

"You know, there are entirely non-magical means that would assist you to achieve certain goals." Estella said, thinking specifically of her new Muggle boom box and its karaoke function.

"Yes, it is quite remarkable how versatile Muggles have become over the years." Remus nodded in agreement, not realising the double meaning Estella had laced her words with until he saw the grin on Sirius' face. It was all too much like a cat who had just gotten the canary… and all too reminiscent of the look a Marauder got when they realised a prank was going to work. Remus' face fell the realisation he was now outnumbered.

"Why do I suddenly fear for my health?" He mused aloud, breathing a audible sigh of relief when the formidable Potions Master swept into the room unexpectedly.

"Uncle Sev! You're back!" Estella said, her eyes lighting up at the sight of her Uncle. "I haven't seen you since last year! Have you had breakfast yet?"

Shaking his head dismissively at the overworn New Year's joke, Severus sat down at the empty setting on the table. "I had breakfast in the Great Hall." He said. "It's after 10am already, I think this qualifies as a brunch."

"Well in that case, you haven't had Brunch, have you?" Estella smirked.

"Coffee, Severus?" Remus asked helpfully, knowing that the enthusiastic child wasn't going to desist until she succeeded in having her entire family seated at the table.

"I'll get it." Estella jumped up and grabbed a mug from its hook by the coffee pot.

"Aren't you supposed to still be in bed?" Severus asked her suspiciously.

"With this much energy? It's hard enough keeping her in the house." Sirius snorted. "I don't know what's come over her."

The three men watched the bubbly child bounce around the kitchen not just getting her Uncle a coffee, but sourcing a plate full of his favourite pastry and dark minted chocolate; knowing that he wouldn't be able to resist. Taking in her renewed energy and smiling features, it became increasingly apparent what was causing her to act that way.

She was happy.

* * *

"I'd forgotten about this." Sirius exclaimed in awe as he pulled a musty looking tome from the bottom of his wife's dresser. "Estella, come have a look at this." 

Estella pulled herself to her feet from where she sat cross-legged on the rug of her parent's room, sorting through a pile of her mother's hair clips and stretched loudly before walking stiffly to where he father sat at her mother's dresser. In order for her father to move back into the bedroom and be saved from the omnipresent sense of loss that the room's current state provoked, the room was in the midst of a reinvention.

"Do you recognise this?" He asked, an unreadable expression on his face as he held out the well-oiled black leather book to her.

"Of course I do." Estella whispered hoarsely, her mouth suddenly dry. "You gave it to me on Halloween… back then… I couldn't find it anywhere in my old trunk. What's it doing here?"

"Your mother found it in your hiding place after the house elves had been through and packed up your things." Sirius explained, dusting off the cover with his hand and handing it to her. "She took it to Dumbledore to have him pass it on, but when she came back from his office she still had it."

"Did she say why?" Estella asked, falling onto the wide bench seat next to her father as he scooted over and made room for her. "Why didn't he just send it on to be stored with the rest of my stuff from that time?"

"I don't know." Sirius said sadly, a pensive look on his face. "She never said."

"Oh." Estella said, disappointment evident on her features as she held her hand out for the book. He handed it to her. "Um, do you mind if I take this and um, go to my room for a bit?"

Sirius frowned at his daughter, concern in his eyes. "Are you all right?" He asked, rubbing her back gently. "Are you sure you want to be alone right now?"

"Oh, do you want company? I can stay… I'll look at my journal later." Estella reneged. "Or you know what, I can look at it here… I'll just be by the window."

"Alright." Sirius said lightly, smiling at his daughter encouragingly. "You know where I'll be if you need anything."

"Course." Estella said absently as she sat in the freshly cleaned, pale olive green wingback by the window and opened the book; smiling faintly as she ran her fingers over the familiar inscription and looked at her father fleetingly as he turned his attention to the other papers in her mother's drawer.

Opening the aged dusty book to the first page, Estella shivered as a foreign yet strangely familiar kind of magic coursed through her. Blinking her eyes in surprise, Estella turned her attention to the page before her and promptly dropped the book in shock, the heavy-bound hardcover landing on the dark hardwood floor with a dull thud. Sirius' head shot up.

"Estella? Sweetheart, is something wrong?" He asked automatically, his concern deepening when he saw the look on her face – like she had just seen a ghost. Knocking the delicate bench back in his haste, Sirius leapt across the room and knelt at his daughter's feet, resting his hands on either side of her as she sat dwarfed by the larger chair. Casting his eyes to the unassuming book that seemed to cause his daughter's distress and taking note of the open, blank page, he looked at his daughter in curiosity.

"Sweetheart, what happened? What's wrong?" He asked frantically, one hand picking up the book to assess it for any distressing content and the other brushing a loose strand of hair out of her face. "What's the matter with the book?"

"Can't you see it?" Estella gasped, her eyes seeing writing on the page her father was staring blankly at. "That's not my writing."

"What's not your writing, Estella?" Sirius frowned, flicking through the pages emptily. "I don't see anything."

"She… she mustn't have meant for you to see." Estella said shakily, reaching back for the book and turning back to the front page.

"What? Wait a minute… are you saying Selina… your mother… she wrote in this journal?" Sirius' eyes ached to see his wife's penmanship. "She… why would she do that? It was yours… didn't you write in it?"

"Yes, I did." Estella's eyes widened. "Do you think she would have been able to read what I wrote?"

"I don't know, it depends on if you had intended her to…" Sirius scratched his head. "This sort of stuff has never been my bag. Why, what did you write in there?"

"Enough." Estella gulped, averting her eyes to glance unseeingly at her mother's precise copperplate script. "I wonder if she says anything in here about it."

"I wish I was able to read it." Sirius sighed, his eyes sad.

"Well I could read it out if you like." Estella consoled him. "Or…" She screwed her face up in concentration before reaching a decision and pulling a pin from her hair. Sterilising it over a candle flame that sat under a oil burner on the little table next to the chair, Estella looked her father in the eye. "Hold out your right index finger."

Sirius complied wordlessly and watched curiously as she broke his skin, drawing blood, before repeating the process with her own finger.

"Now, let's see if I remember to do this right." Estella said thoughtfully, pressing their fingers together and holding it over the front page of the book until a drop of their intermingled blood dripped onto the page and vanished. "Making mischief." Estella said. "There, let's see if it worked."

"What did you do?" Sirius looked at his daughter in amazement.

"I just included you into my ring of trust." Estella smirked at her father. "If I ever catch you taking advantage of that by reading my diary I will grant my Uncle licence to neuter Padfoot."

Sirius grimaced uncomfortably and nodded his solemn vow of trust. "Turn the page."

"There, can you see it?" Estella asked her father, studying him carefully as her mother's handwriting filled the pages before them. She needn't have sought an answer from the man though as the expression on his face spoke more than words.

Coming to his senses slightly as the magnitude of what his daughter had just trusted him with began to sink in, Sirius rolled back onto this heels. "Do you want to read it alone first?" He asked restrainedly. "Your mother may not appreciate me reading her private thoughts… she and Lily were always on about secret women's business."

"No, I think it should be alright." Estella said after a few moments of consideration. "I don't think I could keep it from you at the end anyway. Let's read it together."

The sorting of the room set aside for the time being, Sirius squeezed next to Estella on the generously proportioned armchair, ending up with her pretty much on his lap, as she sat with the book in her hands.

"Should we read it aloud or to ourselves?" Estella asked, turning her head from its new resting place on her father's shoulder to look up at the man.

"We'll take it in turns. Shall I go first?" Sirius offered. Estella nodded and leant back into him as he placed his hands over hers and guided the book upwards.

_"Dear Estella…" _He began, his voice leaving him as the shock of the opening words washed over them.

"Go on." Estella urged him in a choked tone, her eyes glazing over with unshed tears.

_"Lily suggested that I give the journal a name, and this is what I came up with. One day I would love to name a daughter that. but I have a feeling you already know that, don't you? I say that because I've spelled the pages to only reveal this to either myself or my unborn children." _Sirius read on, his voice even. "_This journal once belonged to another, Aries, but Dumbledore said I should write in it. I don't know why, but he seems to think she wouldn't mind not getting this back. I'm not even sure if she even wrote here anyway."_

Sirius skimmed over the page impatiently. "It just goes on like this. Do you want me to continue?" He asked Estella quietly.

Estella's eyes flew over the page forlornly. "I just want to know if she knew for sure." She said. "After she touched my pendant she looked at me funny."

They flicked through the pages at a efficient pace. Estella would, of course, pour over each entry with more precision as time went on, but at that moment she only wanted to know one thing.

"Here we go…" Sirius said, his eyes having caught something at the top of a page. He began to read:

_"Maybe I imagined it, but I could have sworn I could recognise the handiwork on that pendant of Aries. It was the same sort of feeling I get when I touch something me or one of my family had charmed… but Aries couldn't be a Snape, could she? Did father have a child out of wedlock? No, Aries said it was from her mother. It just makes no sense. There are no other direct relatives of childbearing age, and the connection I felt to the artefact would not be as strong if she were truly a distant cousin or otherwise. Maybe she's really my daughter from the future and I charmed the pendant. Sounds pretty ridiculous, but that pendant is the sort of thing I'd do, and I can't think of any other explanation. I got a very good look at it too, and I'd almost swear that the ruby plays off the light the same way as the horrid brooch my mother gave me. I guess I'll only know the answers in time."_

"How'd she guess all of that?" Estella sat, slack jawed.

"Your mother was a perfectionist." Sirius smiled at the memory. "If there was a puzzle or something that needed solving she would stew over it constantly until she reached a satisfying hypotenuse. I am sure if we read over the intervening entries thoroughly she would have been nutting out a hundred theories before settling on this one."

"Is there anything else about me?" Estella asked, running her finger over the slight indentation of her mother's nib.

"Let me see." Sirius said, flicking through some more pages. "Ah, here's something else."

_"I don't understand it. Why would Aries' parents not permit her to receive Owls? Why would she not want this journal back? It is almost as though she has disappeared off the face of the earth. Lily thinks we should go to Wales and knock on her door, but something tells me we won't find anything. Part of me thinks something horrible happened that day in Hogsmeade, and that the school is covering it up for some reason. When the boys came back without her they looked like they had just witnessed a massacre, yet Professor Dumbledore made a point of telling us that Aurors had turned up and taken Aries to the Ministry to make a statement. Said she had witnessed the killing curse being used on an Auror and her parents sent for her straight away. It sounds like a reasonable enough story, especially since Aries had been home-schooled before and only came to Hogwarts because it was supposed to be safer, but something is not right. Surely she would have Owled us to say goodbye. The more I think of it, the more I think that the impossible truly is possible."_

"And I thought I thought things through!" Estella exclaimed. "Merlin!"

"Oh here we go, she's writing about your time turner now. She wrote it in Seventh Year. Merlin, she was still trying to figure you out, kiddo!"

_"Maybe Aries is from a time where time turners can travel back in years… that would explain why she had a time turner and didn't tell us. Sirius and James seemed to know about it though, but how that happened they won't say a thing about it. It's almost like everyone else has moved on and accepted Dumbledore's story that Aries has gotten on with her life somewhere and we've all gotten on with ours. I think only Peter still looks like he misses her, but then I think he always did have a bit of a crush."_

"That's… that's just… wrong." Estella shuddered, while Sirius growled.

"He didn't try and make a move on you, did he?" Sirius asked, not knowing if he wanted to know the answer.

"Of course not, he's a gutless little weed." Estella scorned the memory of the stumpy little boy who would go on to do terrible things to her family. "Do you have any idea how hard it was for me not to, I don't know, body bind him in his animagus form and feed him to a python?"

"You've really thought that through, haven't you?" Sirius smirked, his eyes glinting at the imagery of Peter – the – rat suffering like that.

"Of course! I had to think of something that would make me smile in his vile presence." Estella made a face. "And to think he probably thought I was smiling at him because I liked his company!"

"Why didn't you say anything?" Sirius asked. "I don't think I would have been able to hold myself back."

"I had no proof. You wouldn't have believed it." Estella sighed regretfully.

Sirius nodded mutely before deciding to change the subject. As much as he hated to believe it, the Marauder had been foolishly blinded by their loyalty for one another back then to ever consider the possibility that one of them was not true. "Shall we see if there's anymore?"

"Alright." Estella yawned and rested her head on her father's shoulder and closed her eyes, losing herself in her memories as her father's voice carried on, securing itself its own place in her mind.

_"Lily gave birth to a little boy. She and James are worried about the prophesy, but Albus will protect them."_

"What prophesy?" Estella's eyes snapped open. "There's a prophesy about Harry?"

"Um…" Sirius swallowed heavily. "Harry doesn't know. Do you want to know before him?"

"No, I don't think that would be fair." Estella shook her head. "Skip over it."

"All right, but I want you to promise me that you won't say anything of what you know to Harry. He doesn't need it at the moment, not with the tournament on at the moment." Sirius cautioned his daughter.

"What tournament?" Estella frowned.

"I'll tell you over dinner when Remus and your Uncle are there to help explain the concept, I'm not too clear on the details except that Harry is involved when he shouldn't be. Do you want me to tell you what I do know now or shall I continue reading?"

"Continue reading." Estella gestured back to the book.

_"Harry looks exactly like James but he has Lily's green eyes. It was just how Aries described Lily's child to her in that game we used to play… Lily's child would look like his father and have her eyes, and my child would look like me and have her father's eyes. Lily and I always thought it was just some sort of reverse parallel that Aries had cooked up on a whim, but what if she knew? What if she was from the future and knew our children? I wonder if Harry will play Quidditch and become a Seeker in his first year? Though I am sure by then Sirius and I would have had a child of our own and I would be able to tell once and for all how Aries fits in. Maybe she just fluked it. Maybe I have been reading too much into it all this time. It was all so long ago now, I can't even be sure of what was real, and what was imagined."_

"Dad." Estella said suddenly, raising her head from his shoulder. "Can you skip forward to when she was pregnant with me?"

"Already thinking of that, Missy." Sirius nodded, hastily flicking ahead towards the middle of the book. "Alright, you ready?"

"Yep."

_"The more the baby grows inside me, the more I feel this sense of de ja vu. The child isn't even born yet and already I feel like I know all about them. Like I've already met them before. The summer Aries came to stay with the Potters was a few days after I came across a girl in my room. I never found out who that girl was, only that she looked remarkably liked me and had eyes that were silver like Sirius'. I felt this same kind of de ja vu when I met Aries a few days later even though she looked entirely different… and she was the one who tells me my child will look like the apparition of the girl in my room. The more I think of it, the more I am beginning to accept the fact that my unborn child travels back in time at some point. Whether Aries and the girl from my room are one and the same, or if they were otherwise affiliated, I do not know for sure, but as I bond with the life inside me, I feel my doubts being swept away. Maybe it's just the pregnancy hormones playing with my mind… but I guess I'll know the answer in a few months time, won't I?"_

Sirius paused for breath, letting the words sink in before he pressed on.

_"Sirius is convinced we're having a little girl. I am inclined to agree with him, but I won't let him know that. I love the anticipation of not knowing, which is kind of funny because I think I've known ever since fifth year. Between it all… the pendant, the Portkey, the time turner, the coincidences and then the little things like how easily Aries found her way around the school and how she seemed to anticipate the boy's actions before they even knew what they were doing themselves. It all makes sense. The way she trusted Sirius with her life on that broom and then forgave him afterwards… the way she looked at James as though she was constantly reminding herself that he was not someone else… the way she insisted on being friends with Remus despite the love in her eyes… the way she worked so well with Severus in potions, doing the impossible in earning his respect and not feeling intimidated by his rough exterior… it all fits somehow."_

Sirius stopped in his reading to kiss his daughter's head as she sighed shakily.

_"Today I went to the jeweller with Sirius and he picked out a design for the baby's pendant. It is identical to the pendant Aries wore, and there's no way he saw it as well as I did at the time. Aries was our daughter… is our daughter… will be our daughter. I can't wait to meet her again… though I daresay she will be grounded till her 18th birthday if she so much as goes near a time turner…"_

"Don't read anymore." Estella splayed her hand over the page, silent tears tracking down her face in a mixture of regret and happiness.

"Oh, missy, I'm sorry darling." Sirius set the book aside and wrapped his arms around his daughter, holding her close and rubbing comforting circles on her back as she sobbed. His own face was etched in remorse of his own… his mind readily recalling times Selina had attempted to bring up their school friend from the past and he had shot her down. To think everyone had just picked up and moved on with their lives, pretty much filing Aries' impact in their lives amongst that of interim substitute teachers and people you might see everyday on the knight bus over Summer then promptly forget about. It was not that they were all inconsiderate, it was just bad timing. War had just broken out, and everyone had so much other stuff to contend with… James had lost his father in his barely six weeks after he got married, and Lily's parents had died shortly after she'd fallen pregnant. Then between his brother Regulus going and getting himself killed, his parents kicking him out of home and Selina defying her parents and infuriating her brother; their school years in general were just pushed into the far recesses of their memories.

Even now it felt like another lifetime ago.

Yet still, Selina remembered. Selina mulled over the mystery silently for nearly ten years. What had driven her to obsess so much? When had she planned on telling him? Had she tried and given up? Sirius frowned. How could he have forgotten? Now he had his daughter back in his arms, the experiences all too real and recent for her, and still his mind had ruthlessly discarded the finer details.

"I'm sorry, baby." He murmured, both to his child and wife. He couldn't quite shake the feeling that he had let them both down somehow.

"What?" Estella murmured. "No I asked you to read it out, it's not your fault." She said. "I'm not really sad, you know… I mean I am because it's terrible that she never got to meet me again and I never got to know her as my mother… but I still got to meet her, and in the end she knew who I was; and that's something I never thought I'd get."

"We all pretty much forgot all about you!" Sirius lamented shamefully.

"A lot happened between then and now." Estella shrugged. "My time as Aries Ollerton had little impact on the big picture, maybe you would have remembered me more if Dumbledore had told you I died… but I just became this person who buggered off rudely without saying goodbye. I'd probably forget me too if someone took off unexpectedly like that."

"I suppose you're right, but I still feel awful." Sirius bowed his head.

"Don't be silly. You didn't know it was me." Estella assured him. "And I know you would never forget me."

"Are you both still in here?" Remus appeared in the doorway. "What on earth are you doing sitting in here in near darkness? How can you see anything?"

Behind them the late afternoon sun was disappearing below the horizon, bathing the room in a shadowed dusk, the only minute source of light being the little tea light candle in the oil burner by their chair. Sliding off her father's lap wearily, Estella stretched and slapped her father lightly on the arm when he overdramatised the 'liberation' of his 'blood-starved' legs; stamping his feet furiously to get the blood circulating again, neither of them had been overly aware of all the time that had gone past as they had sat engrossed in Selina's journal entries.

"Sorry, Moony." Sirius explained, holding up the book meaningfully. "Estella and I were just doing a little reading. Selina took the journal as her own…"

"Say no more, Sirius." Remus nodded sadly. Then, in a lighter tone, he continued. "I just came to tell you both that tea is ready."

"Thanks, Remus, you didn't have to do that!" Sirius thanked his friend. "You've done all three meals today…"

"You both were understandably busy, don't worry about it." Remus waved it off, taking the initiative to turn on the room's light switch, making it so that he no longer appeared as a shadowing figure in the doorway, backlit only by the light in the hallway. "Besides if I was here alone I would prepare all my own meals anyway… what's the difference if I am preparing food for one or three, or four?"

Father and daughter blinked, their eyes readjusting to the light, as they straightened out their robes and headed out of the room, following Remus down the stairs and into the kitchen.

* * *

"Where's Uncle Sev?" Estella asked, noting that while there was a place set for him at the table, her uncle was nowhere to be seen. 

"He had to make an appearance in the Great Hall for dinner." Remus said. "Dinner at the Castle should be over by now, he should be back soon." The tell tale whoosh of the Floo alerted them to their subject's timely arrival. "Ah, there you go, speak of the devil. Good evening, Severus, we were just talking about you."

Severus grunted moodily as he swept through the kitchen after a particularly stressful afternoon, headed straight for the basement where he had left a potion on simmer.

"Uncle Sev?" Estella called after him, frowning. "Aren't you going to join us for dinner?"

"Why do you think I spend my holidays at the Castle, Estella? To work on my lesson plans unseen and brew my potions for the infirmary?" He drawled sarcastically. "I just spent the past hour making my presence known to all the students at the Great Hall over dinner, you foolish child."

"Where do you get off talking to my daughter like that, Snape?" Sirius growled, rising from his chair slowly and cutting off his brother-in-law in his path to the basement. He was still emotionally on edge after reading his wife's journal, and playing civil with his brother-in-law was something out of his reach.

"It is clear the child is spending entirely too much time with the likes of you." Severus sneered. "I do not have time for answering stupid questions with obvious ends."

"I thought maybe you maybe didn't have your fill at the school so that you could still join us here." Estella said coolly. "Or that you might still at least like to keep me company and catch up with my day while I ate. It wasn't a stupid question."

"There, you heard the girl." Sirius snarled, side stepping to block his unresponsive brother-in-law's path. "Now apologise for being such a pompous git and spare your niece a few moments of your time."

"I have a potion on the boil that will turn quite volatile if not tended to." Severus warned, moving uncomfortably close to his brother-in-law in a attempt to intimidate him enough to make him move. "My day has been taxing enough as it is to have to come here and humour the likes of you. Now step aside."

"You are in my house, Snape." Black warned. "You're here at Estella's request. I will not hesitate to throw you out on your arse if you continue belittling her."

"Just let him go, Dad." Estella sighed, picking at her soup despondently. "He's in a mood."

Severus snorted and swept past Sirius, headed into the basement, when the slightly shorter man heeded his daughter's request.

"You shouldn't have to put up with being treated like that, Estella." Sirius growled protectively, eying the basement door like he would prefer to do nothing more than burst down there and trash Severus' precious potion all over his greasy git head. "How often does he behave like this?"

"Not very." Estella shrugged. "Don't worry about it. You've seen how I get in my moods… Uncle Sev and I have just gotten used to giving each other a wide berth during those times. We have an understanding."

Still reeling from the emotional roller-coaster the afternoon's revelations had invoked in him and instantly flared by mere prospect of someone brushing of his child and making them feel insignificant, Sirius' mind sharpened even further at the implications of his daughter's apparent indifference towards such behaviour – like she was used to it. Like her spirit had been beaten into submission. He wouldn't stand for that, and he said as such.

"Dad, you're blowing things way out of proportion." Estella tried to reason with him. "That he has to attend to a potion is hardly something to be taken so personally! If he says it is important, then I believe him!"

"You're defending him? I don't believe it!" Sirius said, taking his daughter firmly by the shoulder from where she had risen from her chair to stand next to him and looking her squarely in her eyes. "You don't have to stand for that, Estella! You're better than that!"

"Please Dad…" Estella pleaded. "He was only that bad because you were here to make things worse. Look, he's clearly had a bad day. You and him have never enjoyed each other's company. I'd be a little irate if all I had to look forward to was the sight of Draco Malfoy chewing me out and telling me how I should behave."

"You're comparing me to a Malfoy?" Sirius shook his head. "Estella go eat your dinner, you don't know what you're on about. I'm going to tell your Uncle how it is. Nobody puts a potion before my little girl and gets away with it."

Estella stormed away from her retreating father moodily and landed heavily in her chair. "I don't know why I bother." She clenched her fists compulsively as she complained exasperatedly to her Godfather. "Tell me, Uncle Remus, is there something in the water that makes them want to kill each other? Why can't he just back off and let Sev be? You know how things were when I lived with Uncle Sev, you tell me, was I ever ignored?"

"Not that I saw. I don't know why your father can't bring himself to see it." Remus shook his head wearily, wincing slightly as he heard the beginnings of a raging fight downstairs from where the basement door had been left slightly ajar in Sirius' haste to get down there.

"He's always been like this… Dad I mean. He's always getting on Sev's case and it's just not funny anymore." Estella cradled her head in her hands, her ears ringing from the war that as erupting downstairs. "Like that day when we went flying, Sev was doing a decent thing in making sure I was alright and not being terrorised by a bunch of bullies, and you all just let him have it. You know it's no wonder he became a Death Eater."

"What do you mean?" Remus looked at his Goddaughter sharply, his heart tingling with guilt. He knew what was coming – the child was far too observant not to see what Lily and Selina had constantly been in battle with them about.

"Well any time he tries to do a good deed, there you all were making him feel like why did he even bother." Estella ticked off her fingers jerkily. "Then when he's minding his own business he invariably stumbles into one of James and Sirius' hair-brained schemes. You guys virtually pushed him into associating himself with that group of losers and you know it. He needed the protection and alliance that they could provide; and he only started retaliating when they had him morally corrupted and drunk on the burning desire to deal out revenge."

"We were kids, Estella." Remus defended himself staunchly. "We all had something go wrong in our lives, Severus just took things to the extreme." He paused. "James idolised his father, but before he became a professor that year he was always away on assignment and hardly ever was home when James was… and you know how your grandparents disowned your parents and made things difficult for them. None of us have had it easy, but not all of us were driven to be so destructive."

"No, you just took it out on those weaker than you." Estella said scathingly, blocking her ears as the shouts downstairs got louder. "Look I don't blame you what happened in the past… you were kids then. But listen to that, it's still happening. They're grown adults! It's got to stop. We're supposed to be family. I thought after Christmas Day there'd be a chance…"

"It's alright, cub, I know where you're coming from." Remus said, reaching over and patting her hand just as a loud clatter rang out from downstairs, followed by an irate Potions Master's shout.

"THAT WAS LUPIN'S WOLFSBANE YOU BLUNDERING IDIOT!"

"WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?" Sirius shouted back, growling in frustration.

"I TOLD YOU IT WAS IMPORTANT, WASN'T THAT ENOUGH?" Severus growled equally defiant. "Oh, of course, something that may have been important to me wouldn't matter to you, evidently."

"Oh, quit blubbering over spilt milk and make some bloody more then if it meant so goddamn much to you!" Sirius snorted, his voice travelling up the stairs and towards the mortified audience in the kitchen.

"I can't make anymore now, you stupid fool. I'm all out of Fluxweed, which can only be harvested during the full moon, and the Aconite needs to simmer for three days so even if I found a reliable supplier for replacement ingredients there won't be enough time!"

"Why do you even bother then if it's all so difficult for you?" Sirius hissed back. "Remus is hardly your friend."

"I don't do it for the werewolf you impulsive, arrogant miscreant!" Severus' voice could barely be heard as he replied in dark, low tones. "If you haven't been able to figure out why I do it, then you're even more dim than I gave you credit for."

"You could have fooled me, Snivellus." Sirius snapped, thundering back down the stairs; causing listening werewolf and child to flinch as the sound of bodies flying against a shelf of glass jars rang throughout the house like a orchestra of tinkling glass. "And what of your snarky, evil attitude? You do that for Estella too? The kid loves you so much it makes me sick, Snape. I don't know what she sees in you. Merlin knows she shouldn't have to put up with your crap. I've seen how you toy with her… running hot and cold like you do. Make up your damn mind! I won't stand for such stuff-arsing around. I've been kept away from her all her life and I know how precious time is… how dare you take advantage of the opportunities you have with her?"

"Unhand me, Black." Severus could be heard saying coldly as Sirius evidently paused to take a breath.

There was another shower of glass as the pair evidently shoved away from each other, disrupting the few little glasses that had remained on the shelf.

"We almost lost her, Snape, don't you realise that?" Sirius' voice was so quiet the ears upstairs had a hard trouble hearing it. "Or is that it? The prospect of losing her is suddenly too real for your selfish cold heart to handle you're pushing her away once and for all?"

There was a pregnant pause.

"Answer me, Snape."

"Get your wand out of my face, Black." Severus said in a warning tone. "I've said it before, I do not have to justify myself to you!"

"And I told you, anything that effects Estella is my business." Sirius retorted in a equally disdainful tone.

Upstairs, Estella was listening to it all. Sitting rigidly in her chair, her meal untouched, the fraught child's eyes slid close in defeat, silent tears painting the pain on her face as her lower lip trembled uncontrollably, stubbornly suppressing the sob that threatened to escape.

"Estella…" Remus said kindly, getting up to comfort the trembling child.

"No." Estella managed, leaping from her chair, her arm flying to shield the sight of tears in her eyes as she brushed past the helpless werewolf and ran upstairs.

Barely able to contain his own growing rage, Remus stormed over to the door that led down to the basement and almost threw it off its hinges as he shoved it open forcefully, guaranteeing the attention of the juvenile brothers-in-law as they bickered down below.

"I hope you're both bloody happy with yourselves." Remus roared uncharacteristically wound tight. "That child you both seem intent to be in a constant pissing contest over just ran out of the room looking like someone had just torn her heart out and dished it up for dinner!"

"Look what you've done!" Sirius scowled at the bane of his existence. "Why are you even here, Snape? We were having such a good day until you had to grace us with your charming presence."

"You're the one who came after me, Black." Severus hissed. "Couldn't leave well enough alone, you just had to come have the last say."

"Damn straight, Snivellus." Sirius sneered as he coloured Severus' cheekbone with a powerful right hook before leaping up the stairs to see to his daughter.

"Was that really necessary?" Remus admonished his friend from the top of the stairs where he'd seen everything.

"Probably not." Sirius shrugged. "But it made me feel better. Where's Estella?"

"She ran up to her room, what did you expect?" Remus said. "You go on ahead and clean up your own mess, I'll fetch a steak for Severus' face."

"Why bother?" Sirius scoffed, sending a spiteful look back down the stairs before shaking his head at Remus and leaving the kitchen, bound for his daughter's room.

"I don't need your mothering, Lupin." Severus growled, desperate to keep a hold of his pride as he busied himself clearing away the spilt potions ingredients.

"Why don't you go up there and work things out with Estella?" Remus suggested.

"I doubt he and I in the same room right now would be very conducive, do you?" Severus pointed out banally. "These ingredients need to cleared away before they combine and become volatile. I guaranteed us some measure of safety by arranging them so that no two conflicting ingredients were stored side by side, but look, there's a blasted slope to this floor." He paused to stem an innocent looking flow of Erumpent fluid from running into a dusting of crushed snake fangs; the action averting a uncontrolled explosion. "Look at this mess!"

"Why not just charm the bottles with a unbreakable charm?" Remus frowned, picking up an overturned cauldron and righting it.

"I do that in the classroom, Lupin, because students are notoriously clumsy." Severus explained impatiently. "But any kind of wand magic deployed in a potions lab can affect a potion's effect, so I do not encourage such measures for private stores. Surely my niece as made you aware of that fact?"

"Actually, she did mention something about proper Potions Labs being wand-free zones." Remus' lip twitched slightly. "That cheek looks painful. You really ought to…"

"There's some ointment in the potion cupboard." Severus said dismissively, drawing his wand reluctantly to vanish the spoiled ingredients. "It was only the ingredients that were lost… though it would have served Black right if his foolish actions lost him his home."

* * *

Estella swung the door shut behind her with an almighty slam, slumping against it and sliding to the floor in tears. Just when everything seemed to be going right, they had to go push each other's buttons for sport and ruin everything! It was not as though she didn't have enough things on her plate to deal with - what, with Voldemort after her and starting school again in the present – that she wanted to deal with the prospect of her family killing each other. 

Suddenly feeling as though she was caged, Estella got up and began to pace her room furiously, stopping only to lock her door and put on a Faith No More CD, cranking it loudly in a vain attempt to block out the echoing torment in her mind. When she could stand being couped up in her room no more, Estella grabbed her cloak and coin bag, secured her wands and put on a scarf, beanie and gloves. Climbing the familiar path to the level part of the roof, Estella didn't stop there. Re-tracing the steps she had taken that first day she had been in the past, Estella left her parent's home.

* * *

"Estella?" Sirius pounded on his daughter's locked door for the umpteenth to no avail. Cursing his stupidity, he remembered the silencing spell on the door – mentally noting that perhaps putting up with the blaring stereo was worth the convenience of being able to knock and be heard. Pulling the spare key to her door from his pocket and hoping she would forgive his intrusion, Sirius let himself in. Instinctively moving to turn off the music that was splitting his ears in two as soon as he had turned the key in the lock, Sirius then began to seek out his daughter. His head began to spin faster and faster when the realisation of her absence became increasingly apparent. Shivering as a draught of icy winter's breeze blew in through the gap in the slightly open window, Sirius' heart leapt at the implication that his daughter had sought solace on the roof. 

Following in his daughter's footsteps, Sirius swore and gasped as his shoes slipped on the icy roof tile and sent him crashing to his knees. Unable to find his daughter anywhere on the roof, however, the pain in his knees was rendered insignificant.

* * *

At the same time, the two men down in the basement jumped at the sound of a house alarm system activating, it's siren cutting through the night like a knife through butter. 

Remus paled and swore. Instinctively, he knew what the alarm next door meant. Estella had run away.

"What the hell is that?" Severus cursed, having bumped his head on the roof of the potion's supply cupboard as he was caught surprised while he had been crouching in front of it, his head peering inside.

"Estella." Remus said, his mouth dry, his feet leading him up the stairs. Calling back over his shoulder, the worried werewolf explained to the Muggle-ignorant man further. "Next door's alarm. Estella must have scaled the roof."

Severus' long legs crossed the length of the small basement lab in a flash and made it up the stairs in no less than 4 leaps and bounds.

"She's left the house?" Severus cursed, both men pulling on their winter cloaks before exiting through the backdoor and into the stone-walled courtyard.

"There! She's going down the alley!" A voice from above yelled at them, pointing frantically from its vantage point on the roof. "Estella, come back!"

"Come, Severus, help me move this crap." Remus scowled as he tried to carve a path to the door that led out into the alley. Turning to look up at Sirius who stood on the roof helplessly, hands pulling at his hair as he fought to keep his child in sight through the foggy blanket of lightly falling snow and obstructing buildings. "Sirius, for God's sake get off the roof before someone sees you! Go get the dog and head out the front way, circle round and meet us on the other side. Hopefully that will be able to corner her off."

Sirius was already skidding down off the roofline and making his way down before Remus could finish talking.

"Oh for goodness sake, Lupin." Severus scowled, becoming increasingly infuriated as the werewolf sought to move each item blocking their way without damaging anything. "Get your priorities straight! Reducto!"

"Nice going Severus." Remus sighed, grabbing the rusted old door handle urgently. "But need I remind you we are in a Muggle neighbourhood?"

Severus said nothing. It was imperative that the child be found.

Using inhuman strength to pull the disused, unyielding door open, Severus and Remus finally made it out into the alleyway, where they were shortly joined by a stricken looking black dog.

Estella was nowhere to be found.

End Chapter: Breaking Habits

(1) Lyrics taken from the song "I Wanna Be Your Dog" by The Stooges (c) 1979 (I think)


	90. New Beginnings

Updated: Sunday 19 June 2005

Disclaimer: Not mine…

**Chapter Ninety: New Beginnings **

They found Estella high up in the branches of a tree that was located in the small park across the road from the house. She had come home without a fight, retreating directly to her bedroom without giving so much as a withering look in their direction. Three days had passed without a word from the sullen child, and her caretakers were growing impatient. The days grew long and weary as the object of their hearts withdrew into herself, picking at her food with disinterest as she sat with them at meal times, stubbornly refusing to even look at them; before either going back to her room or reading a book in the study, or working at replacing the destroyed potions ingredients downstairs.

At the end of the first day, Severus had left for Hogwarts, not intent on returning. For all intensive purposes he had outstayed his welcome, and with he and Sirius no longer able to even feign congeniality when in the same room together, it wasn't doing Estella any good for them to be thrown together in close quarters. When nothing else the remaining two men did seemed to have effect, they had no choice but to turn to Severus for help.

"She's still not talking, Severus." Remus, the nominated spokesperson for the last two recognised marauders addressed the man in the fireplace. "We've tried everything."

"You're trying too hard." Severus scowled. "Not everything can be resolved with meddling intervention."

"Who died and made you an expert?" Sirius spat from where he sat gripping the arms of his armchair reflexively, as though he'd rather be doing it around a certain potions master's neck.

Ignoring the frustrated, tired, helpless looking father, Severus returned his attentions to an equally weary looking werewolf. The full moon had been the night previously, and without the assistance of Wolfsbane, Sirius had had to do the wrenching task of chaining the man in the reinforced room that adjoined the potions area of the basement. It hadn't been a good night for anyone in the London house that night. Remus had emerged that morning bruised and bloodied from where he'd torn his manacles from the wall and attacked himself when the door wouldn't budge. Sirius had sat up all night by his daughter's bedside after the child had woken up screaming; evidently anxious about the risks the night bore. It broke the animagus' heart when the distraught child would not let him comfort her, choosing instead to push him aside and turn away. Not only did he feel guilty for destroying Remus' potion and causing the werewolf to hurt his friend so much, but his child was confused and hurting, and he was helpless to do anything about it.

"You look like death, Lupin." Severus appraised the man, a lingering feeling of remorse evident in his gruff tone as he regretted what Estella had to witness – both that day and in seeing her Godfather look so battered as a indirect result.

"We all had a rough night." Remus said, looking back at Sirius before recounting what happened with Estella. "It can't be good for her, keeping everything bottled up. It's not like her."

"Just ignore it, Lupin." Severus said knowingly. "She's after attention."

"How is that going to help?" Sirius frowned. "This happened because we weren't being attentive of her needs!"

"You've got a lot to learn, Black." Severus shook his head impatiently. Though it hardly made him a understanding man, he'd had many years experience dealing with teenagers. "I don't know what else to tell you. You'll either take my advice or not, I'm not going to try and convince you."

With that, Severus vaporised from the fireplace, leaving the two marauders alone in the room. Glancing at each other contemplatively, Remus spoke first.

"I think it will work."

Before Sirius could say anything however, Estella skulked purposefully into the room, a steaming goblet full of an unidentifiable potion in her hand. She headed directly over to the ragged looking Remus and held it out.

"What's this?" Remus asked, trying to entice the child into talking; all the while smiling at her lightly. "Not trying to poison your old Godfather now are you? I didn't think my cooking was that bad!"

In response, Estella gave her godfather an unreadable look and set the potion down on the coffee table closest to him; making to leave as soon as she had done so.

Impulsively, Remus grabbed her wrist weakly as she withdrew the hand from the goblet she had been holding, the action forcibly holding her in place so he could address her face to face. "Thank you." He said, letting go of her wrist when she gave an imperceptible nod of acknowledgement, her expressive eyes meeting his fleetingly before turning away.

Encouraged by his friend's breakthrough, Sirius shot out his arm to tug at his daughter's sleeve as she brushed past his chair; but the child yanked her sleeve out of his grip and walked away, the repeated apology on Sirius' lips rolling back down the man's throat, seemingly choking him with the lump it formed there.

"We're not getting off to a very good start, are we?" Remus shook his head sadly.

"She's as stubborn as her mother." Sirius stated helplessly.

"Only her mother?" Remus raised a brow at his stubborn friend.

* * *

With lack of anything else to try, the two men implemented Severus' suggestion over lunch, carrying on a colourful conversation about what potions were good for pranks as though nothing were wrong and Estella wasn't even there. Both men were equally anxious about the gamble they were taking, equally worried that their feigned ignorance would only quantify the demons Estella was festering in her mind and serve to push her over the edge; but when they caught the child looking at them intently, seeming as though she wanted to contribute, they knew they were challenging her resolve. 

Using a love-fuelled resolve of their own, the two men resisted the urge to acknowledge the child then by inviting her into the conversation for fear of sending her spiralling back into herself in defiance. Stealing furtive glances at the silent child, the two men could see Estella's resolve slowly crumble as she battled with herself, the apparent uselessness of the silent treatment rendering the protest redundant. When she took herself off to bed that night without so much as a sound, however, Sirius was at his wits end. Tomorrow his baby would have to go back to Hogwarts and he couldn't stand the thought of things still being unresolved between them at that time. It had eaten him up inside to actively ignore his child like that. Though he could grudgingly see the merit in the technique Severus had suggested, he no longer had the time to wait for his daughter's resilience to run its course.

Leaving Remus to his book in the study, Sirius stole up the stairs and crept into his daughter's room only moments after the child had switched her lights off and tucked herself in. Sitting on the edge of the bed and brushing a stray bit of hair from his daughter's face as her head peeked out from under the blankets tellingly, the child desperately trying to feign sleep; Sirius made himself comfortable.

"I know you're not asleep." He said gently, repeating his earlier action.

Exhaling sharply, Estella moved to turn away from him without opening her eyes. Sirius let her, but then took it upon himself to kick off his shoes and lie atop the blankets on the girl's bed, spooning himself against her, trapping her in his arms and her bedclothes as she tensed and tried to roll away. Inhaling the soothing lavender scent of her shampoo while he brushed her hair away from her ear with his hand, Sirius rested his cheek on the side of his daughter's head and spoke directly into her ear.

"Relax, sweetheart." He cooed, willing the child in his arms to relax. "I'm not going anywhere."

Estella stopped pulling away from him to listen, her efforts to get away proving futile. Sirius had incidentally watched an episode of the Muggle talk show earlier that day which featured a Muggle parenting specialist who was informing the viewers of a 'holding technique'; and with having tried everything else, he thought he'd give it a go.

"You don't have to say anything, or look at me." Sirius said accommodatingly. "Just listen."

The child let out a sigh of defeat and stilled in his arms.

"I know it hurts you to see your Uncle and I fight like so…" Sirius admitted regretfully, cringing when the child in his arms stiffened. "There's no excuse for what happened, I see that now… but we're talking nearly thirty years of bad blood here; and it's hard not to fall into the familiar habit."

He studied his words carefully, not wanting to say the wrong thing.

"I want to give you the world, Estella. Please believe that." Sirius confessed brokenly. "I'm so sorry that I can't give you the one thing you need. We tried baby, we both tried so hard to get along for you; but it wasn't enough."

He choked back a sob.

"Your mother… oh Merlin your mother, she so desperately hoped that her love for us both would bring an end to our animosity…" Sirius' voice trailed off as he sucked in a pained breath. "I've let her down. Let you both down…"

Estella sighed slightly and shifted so that she was settled a little more snugly against her father as though to comfort him. Sirius tightened his hold on her in response.

"I can't speak for your Uncle, but I know I wanted things to work. I think he did too." Sirius said, admitting the last part as a afterthought. "I was hopeful that your love for us and our love for you would encourage us to cast our differences aside for your sake and be grown ups… but it's only served to open new wounds."

There was a pregnant pause as Sirius paid mind to how best to phrase his next comment.

"We're threatened by each other. Every time you pay him mind I feel like I am losing you to him… and I've seen how he tries to protect himself against it happening to him. I've no doubt he fears me too." Sirius took in a ragged breath. "We're so wrapped up in our spite and our hate for each other, we don't think of what it does to you."

Estella sniffed softly, and Sirius became aware of the fact that his daughter was crying. Kissing her head softly and squeezing her gently, he tried to pacify her pain, silent tears of his own creating a salty sheen in her hair.

"I'm a stupid man, Estella, I'm the first to admit it." Sirius said regretfully as his breath cooled the tears on the child's cheeks, causing her to shiver slightly. "Sev and I are more alike than either of us care to admit. I regret for your sake that he and I will probably never make amends… but at the same time I don't want to pretend and fill you with false hope."

Beside him, Estella let out a shaky breath.

"No matter our differences, however." Sirius vowed. "I will never let you witness anything like that again. I promise I will walk away before I let him provoke me like that, just like he had tried to do that day."

There was a uncomfortable silence while Sirius waited with bated breath to see if his daughter would say anything. She didn't.

"Please Estella, I don't know what else to do." Sirius sighed into her hair, muffling a sob of frustration. "Please talk to me! I couldn't bear to send you away to school with this between us; I want things to be right between us… I want to know that you're going to be all right."

"I don't want to go back." Estella's quiet voice, hoarse from disuse, sobbed quietly, her resolve shattered. "I can't do it."

The child turned in his arms and clung to him desperately, burying her head in his chest, her tears soaking his robes.

"Oh, Missy." Sirius managed, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm so sorry."

It became increasingly apparent that Estella's averse behaviour over the past few days was not just a catalyst to the scene she had witnessed between two people she loved very deeply, but rather it had been a reclusion that had been building ever since her return; and they had missed all the signs.

"Please don't make me go back there." Estella pleaded desperately, her voice muffled in his robes.

"Oh sweetheart, as much as I would love to keep you all to myself, you have to go back to school. Don't you want to see Harry again and your friends?" Sirius rubbed the child's back soothingly, trying to encourage the child.

"I can't do it." Estella sobbed despondently. "I can't pretend."

"Pretend what?" Sirius asked, coaxing the child to get it all out of her system.

"To hate. To pretend like the past five months never happened. To deny that I care about my Uncle. To act like you're a criminal. To go on as though I didn't just have everything and everyone I came to know in the past taken away."

"Oh, baby." Sirius held his daughter protectively in his arms. Through his daughter's bravado and courage against adversity he had not realised just how these new expectations on her would affect her. "You can do it, sweetheart, we'll all help you."

"But I don't want to do it." Estella cried defensively. "I don't want to just forget everything that's happened. I want everyone to know! I'm not ashamed, I shouldn't have to hide behind a lie anymore. It's not fair."

"I know it's not fair." Sirius stroked his daughter's hair lovingly, relieved that the implication in his daughter's tone belied that the child at least knew that it still had to be done. "There are a million things I'd love to do differently if I could, but I can't. We're in this together, Estella, you don't have to feel like you're on your own. Please don't shut us out."

Estella held onto her father even more tightly. "It's going to be so hard without you there." She admitted. "I don't know how I will do it without you and Uncle Remus… and I won't be able to go to Uncle Sev, will I?"

"You'll have to be very careful if you seek him out." Sirius nodded. "But you will be able to see him, I'm sure he'd make sure of that." He paused. "And don't forget, you're in third year now, Moony and Padfoot will never be too far away from you if you need us."

"Really?" Estella looked up at her father, relief flooding her eyes.

"Of course." Sirius assured the weary child. "Go to sleep, sweetheart. Things will be a lot clearer in the morning."

"Will you stay with me?" Estella asked, reluctantly loosening her death grip, somewhat, in the event that her father may care to leave.

"I'm not going anywhere." Sirius kissed his daughter's brow and shifted slightly so that the child could nestle down in her blankets.

* * *

When Estella awoke, she was alone in her bed, the door to the hallway slightly ajar. Beside her, the warm compression of her father's presence still lingered, the man evidently having only just left the room. Sighing contently, Estella stretched and rolled over on the wide mattress, spreading herself out liberally. Yawning widely as she lolled languidly, prolonging the moment where she would have to face the day – and the school – once more, Estella stopped in her tracks when her ears pricked with the tell-tale sound of tinkling ivories. 

'What the?' Estella's mind was amiss, who on earth would be making such a racket at this hour?

Led by her curiosity, Estella stole her way downstairs, the wild-haired teen was astonished to peek her head around the doorframe of the living room and be greeted by the sight of her father playing the piano.

Evidently, her father had been kept busy during his housebound refuge – but who taught him to play? A wanted criminal could hardly call on a notice in the Daily Prophet! The comical image of her Uncle trying to teach her father how to play betrayed her presence in the room as she snorted derisively. How absurd! The piano would have been hexed into matchsticks.

Glancing around the room unconsciously searching for any sign of tell-tale curse marks or other such evidence that could account for her father's sudden proficiency, Estella's eyes fell on the knowing, wistful smile of her mother's portrait. Suddenly, everything started to make sense. Darting her eyes between the oil-stroked depths of her mother's face to her father, Estella's gaze lingered when she caught her father's eye. Looking up to smile at his daughter invitingly, Sirius didn't miss a beat in his playing. His eyes never left hers as he began to sing the Muggle song Estella quickly began to recognise.

"Look into my eyes, you will see

What you mean to me

Search your heart, search your soul

And when you find me there

You'll search no more.

Don't tell me it's not worth trying for

Can't tell me it's not worth dying for

You know it's true

Everything I do, I do it for you.

Look into your heart, you will find

There's nothing there to hide

Take me as I am, take my life

I will give it all, I would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for

I can't help it there's nothing I want more

You know it's true

Everything I do, I do it for you

There's no love, like your love

And no other, could give more love

There's no way, unless you're there

All the time, all the way

Yeah I would fight for you

I'd lie for you

Walk the wire for you

Yeah I'd die for you

You know it's true

Everything I do, I do it for you"

If the thought of her father singing a demonstrably 'corny song for chicks' wasn't surreal and out of character enough, the sudden exposure of Remus making a grand entrance stage right wielding a wireless fender strat like a vagabond rock star, his fingers working the frets effortlessly as he stood illuminated under a conjured Super Trooper playing the guitar solo, had her sense of reality well and truly evicted and on vacation. The image of her father singing, in itself, was not altogether shocking… for as she had come to realise over the time she had known him, his musky malboro-winded baritone held quite an amenable tune as he amused himself in the kitchen. That said, however, even though the tone of the song complemented his voice quite well, the concept of him serenading her with a pop piano ballad seemed about as likely as her Godfather running off to become the next Eric Clapton on the axe. She'd never even known Remus so much as owned a six-string, and her father was much more at home grunting out punk rock to the beat of his own drummer than expressing his heartfelt sentiment through song.

All of a sudden, Estella blinked to find herself back in her bed upstairs, lying in her father's arms.

It had all been a dream!

On the corner of bedside table, however, her Muggle radio alarm clock played out the ending of the Muggle song that had coloured her waking dream. His chin resting on the top of her head from where he had not moved all night, Estella could hear her father absently humming along to the song's omniscient words.

"You know," Her father said quietly, kissing the top her head in greeting. "I don't mind that song."

Estella shifted so that she could look at her father's face. Seeing the serene innocence of his statement etched on his features, her active mind reconciling it with the surreal dream she had just had, Estella couldn't help but to erupt into a fit of uncontrollable giggles.

"What?" Sirius badgered her incredulously. "What'd I say?"

* * *

Incidentally, at that same moment, an introverted Potions Master sat in a darkened corner of his dungeon abode, his elegant, slender fingers caressing another song by the same Muggle artist from the inconspicuous upright piano he had recently installed. Unbeknownst to anyone – even his niece – the notoriously emotionally bereft man had a hidden appreciation for the more innocuous Muggle releases – ballads, particularly. He found solace in the soft tones of the melodies – distant cousins of their classical predecessors – and identified with the intuitive waxing of singers who could sing what he could not even find the words to speak. 

While he was not fool enough to muddy the perception of the song in his mind by attempting to emulate the practiced etiquette of an accomplished vocalist, the skill-fingered piano man outpoured his inner turmoil into the soundless ears of the finely tuned keys; unlocking the door to his soul in its exclusive company. Recreating the piano score of such songs by ear, Severus found the process to be far more rewarding than wordlessly reviving the most creatively dense concertos, for only could these modern pop classics give voice to his heart's inarticulate meanderings.

Embellishing the simple piano foundation with borrowings from his more inclusive classical roots, Severus gave the song new life as the lyrics he had found so applicable to the way the related to his niece echoed in his soul:

With your arms open wide

Want you here, by my side

Come to me, darlin' rescue me

When this world's closing in, there's no need to pretend

Set me free darlin' rescue me

I don't wanna let you go

So I'm standing in your way

I never needed anyone like I'm needing you today

Do I have to say the words?

In just a few short hours, Estella would be back at the school facing one of the most trying days in her short life. It pained Severus to know what obstacles he would have to induce, and how much more distant and helpless he would have to be in his role as a spy. As far as the greater school population was concerned, his niece had been kidnapped by her father without his approval, and he was not pleased with her. All the disdain, displeasure and indifference he had so habitually reserved for just one other student, he will now have to unleash upon his niece if he wanted to ensure her survival… something he would want to guarantee no matter the personal cost.

Dumbledore assured him that efforts would be made to secure covert – safe – mediums for which he could properly associate with his niece; but Severus did not believe that the act of self-indulgently appeasing his guilt by seeking out the child to reassure her was worth the potential risk. Estella should know him well enough to realise that he would never willingly treat her the way he was going to have to appear to do. Like the song, he shouldn't have to say the words. If she did start to doubt him and believe the ferocity of his act, then it was a punishment he had only brought on himself. Hopefully she would know, as he did, that the strength and believability of the lengths he will traverse to make it appear that he no longer had a familial claim to her was but a reflection of the determination and sacrifice he was prepared to make to keep her protected.

Yes, he will do what the Headmaster asked him to do, and he would do it well… and no one will ever discover just how much it tore him up inside to do it.

* * *

To delay the onset of rumours and unwanted attention, it was decided that Estella would Portkey directly to her Common Room during breakfast on the first day of term and head directly to her first class of the new year. Waiting for her in the Common room would be the headmaster and her head of house, who was incidentally teaching her in first period. 

"Miss Black, I do believe you will find your things in this room." Professor Dumbledore gestured helpfully as he and Professor Flitwick accompanied her to her dorms, the far away child having by-passed the third-year dorms completely on her habitual passage to the fifth year rooms.

Turning back to nod at the all-knowing Headmaster, Estella's face fell. She had not even encountered any of her classmates yet and already things were starkly different – and this was merely the beginning.

"I don't know if I can do this, Professor." She said dejectedly, looking lost. Already the bravado she had coaxed herself into feeling when saying her farewells to an equally affected pair of family men was slipping away. Though it had been but a meagre fifteen minutes since she had step foot in the segregated amnesty of her father's abode, it was beginning to feel like a lifetime.

"Don't fear, child. The anxiety will pass." Dumbledore patted her shoulder gently. "You will feel much better once you start classes and get back into the rhythm of things."

Estella nodded mutely, but inwardly she was not as optimistic. Things were going to be so different!

After quickly seeing to her trunk and other personal effects, Estella filled her book bag with the texts her study schedule mandated that she have on her for the morning's classes and followed her Housemaster to the Charms classroom. The pair travelled the corridor in blissful silence… all of the staff (besides her uncle) were still under the impression that she had just spent the past several months on the run from the law with her fugitive father – the unbalanced man having kidnapped her from her Uncle's estate – and that he had only just seen fit to see her return for the rest of her education.

"Don't look so pensive, child." Professor Flitwick's squeaky voice assured her as he guided her into the classroom. "You have missed quite a bit of work, but I've every confidence you will be able to recover."

"Oh, I'm sure I'll do fine." Estella said, smiling wanly as she inwardly thought how strange it was going to be regress back to the third year curriculum, different from the 70s though it may be. "I tried to keep up with the texts wherever I could."

"Splendid!" Professor Flitwick smiled toothily and scurried over to his desk to prepare his notes before the class arrived.

By the time Estella was re-acquainted with the familiar sight of her proper classmates entering the classroom in a buzz of shuffling feet and lingering breakfast time conversations, the studious child was already taking down the class notes, appearing outwardly unaffected by the upcoming explosion of activity. Slowly, as the students began to mill to their seats, first acknowledging the presence of a new student, then realising with a start just who it was, an eerie silence washed over the room. All eyes on her, Estella shifted uncomfortably in her seat, focusing her attention on the notes on the page before her, trying to pretend that she wasn't the object of the excited whispers that rippled through the class in delayed response.

This was, after all, something she had to become prepared to expect.

"Settle class." Professor Flitwick intervened somewhat posthumously. "If everyone will continue taking their seats and turn to chapter seven we will begin today's class."

"But sir!" A wiry looking Gryffindor shot his hand up in alarm, but spoke out of turn all the same, his mouth gaping like a fish as he stared at her, wide-eyed. Around the room, dozens of eyes flitted between the gutsy boy, herself and their teacher, all seeking the same answer.

Professor Flitwick looked at Estella sympathetically before addressing the class' concerns.

"Yes, as I am sure you have all by now seen, another of your classmates has returned for the new term after a unavoidably long sabbatical." The short, unassuming wizard bellowed powerfully from his stance atop his teaching platform of sorts – a sturdy wooden stepladder not unlike what you would find in a prestigious library in archaic times. "Pupils come and go from Hogwarts every year, class. I deplore you all – my Ravenclaws especially – to not treat this situation any differently." He looked to where Estella was furiously scratching away with her quill. "I am sure Miss Black is ever eager to concentrate on her studies."

Throughout this rather subjective display of attention, Estella was absconded in her own little world. One of the side benefits of learning the process of Occlumency was the innate ability to tune herself in or out of her immediate surroundings. So engrossed was she in the pages before her – her eyes virtually memorising the detailed analysis of the particular charm she was reading about – Estella did not register the silent thrum of the students as they began turning their attentions to their own note taking; and nor did she notice the movement of people sitting next to her – so when they started to talk to her excitedly, the diligent Ravenclaw flinched.

"Estella! When did you get back!" The excited whisper of her old dorm-mate Elsie nudged her back to her senses.

"Where have you been?" Her old first year Gryffindor Charms partner stared at her like she had just been hit with a bat bogey hex. "Are you alright?"

"I'll be alright when I can just get things back to normal." Estella intoned lowly, causing her old friends to rear back warily, before flashing them a winning smile – she was, after all, still happy to see them. "Long time no see!"

"Yes, well, thanks for the Owl to let us know you were alright!" Elsie scolded Estella firmly then squealed without warning and hugged her tightly, causing parchment and quills to slide across the table.

"Elsie, you're going to spill the ink!" Estella scrambled to save the innocent looking ink well that was teetering on the brink of disaster.

Noticing the pointed look their professor was giving them over the rim of his thin-wired bifocals, Victoria cleared her throat.

"Guys I think we should get back to our work." She hissed urgently. "But, Estella, don't think you're off the hook. Not even for a minute."

"We want details." Elsie blurted. Then, considering the content of such revelations, she faltered. "If you can tell us anything, that is."

"Well to save you waiting there's not much I am allowed to say." Estella said cryptically. "Nor particularly care to talk about. The memories are still pretty fresh." She was of course, referring to the pain of coming back to the future to find most of whom she met in the past dead; not any measure of horrible things her 'deranged' father subjected her to when holding her captive; which, judging by the paling looks on her friend's faces, was something along the lines of what they were thinking.

"Forget we asked anything." Victoria said hastily. "We're just glad to have you back."

"I wish I could say the same." Estella admitted without thinking. But then, not missing a beat, she quickly covered herself. "It's going to be a zoo around here for a while, isn't it?"

"Oh, I don't know about that." Elsie whispered, not looking up from the book she was reading from. "Everyone's pretty preoccupied at the moment with the Tri-Wizard Tournament."

Estella looked at her friend quizzically, then it hit her. The day her Uncle and father had their row, her Dad had told her something about a Tournament and that Harry was involved. This must have been what he was talking about.

"Oh well, I'm sure I will hear all about it at lunch." Estella shrugged, catching the eyes of a extremely distracted John and Reg, who, from their places at the back of the class, looked like they were about to leap out of their seats at any moment in their desire to chew her out.

Sure enough, Estella's reunion between the two male Ravenclaws couldn't have come fast enough for the two stalwart all-rounders. Such was the schedule that year, that their morning classes were all double periods, and so the group had to wait until morning tea to so much as say a word to their newly returned friend. The twenty minute break went all too quickly, with the group barely having enough time to retrieve their equipment from the dorms before heading down to the dungeons for their first Potions class for the new year.

"So, have you seen your uncle since… since you've been back?" Reg asked her carefully, sidling up alongside her.

Estella shook her head numbly. "He… he…" She didn't know what to say. Though she had a fair idea what to expect – what was necessary – Estella was apprehensive.

"Oh, come, I am sure he will be very glad to see you back." John squeezed her arm encouragingly. "It's not like you did anything wrong."

"Well look at what we have here." A voice emerged from the shadows by the Potion's classroom, all dark tones and eyes. "I see you have seen fit to grace us with your presence."

Estella's eyes widened at the sight of her Uncle's ire directed at her, as though he were truly resenting that she was her father's daughter. Next to her, she could feel her friend's eyes regard her with a sympathetic look.

'It's all an act… it's all pretend.' She tried to assure herself, her searching eyes finding no proof of deceit in her Uncle's flawless performance.

'Just picture him wearing a long, Slytherin green dress with a fox-fur scarf, a big tall hat with a stuffed vulture atop it and carrying a red handbag.' Her Godfather had suggested to her kindly, an amused, almost reminiscent look in his eyes. 'I shall share the memory with you if you require help conjuring the image'

Remus was, incidentally, referring to the shape Neville Longbottom's Boggart had taken the year he had taught at the school. While Estella did not need the visual aid to picture her Uncle in such a state (she had heard enough about it from the students at the time to have the idea firmly etched in her memory), her father had bolted from the room in search of a pensieve so quickly, Estella thought he might just fall over himself. The supremely smug look on her father's face for the rest of that day was enough to bring a small smile of contentment to her face as she poured over her potions notes.

"Is there something you find amusing that you would like to share with the class, Miss Black?" Her Uncle badgered her, his steely black eyes seeking her out, a solitary brow raised. If Estella didn't know any better, she'd swear he'd been using legilimens on her mind and had seen she was thinking about her father paying him out. "No? Then perhaps you are finding the work of your classmates too remedial for your grossly overestimated abilities and feel you are too good to be in this class?"

Estella shook her head and narrowed her eyes at her Uncle. For purposes of having her 'catch up' on the work she had missed out on earlier in the academic year, Estella was being required to work from independent class notes – the potions she would be brewing, by herself, were not on the third year curriculum; or perhaps even the whole school curriculum. The astute young potions brewer knew that this was her Uncle's covert way to ensure she would be challenged and learning at her own level in his class; but the segregation also opened avenues for her Uncle to target her for criticism. As a rule of thumb, none of Estella's class mates were actively aware of what work their classmate was working solo on. For the most part, they assumed she was merely catching up on potions they themselves had been assessed on earlier in the year.

Frowning as she glanced over the ingredient list of the potion her Uncle had assigned for her to brew, Estella realised that several of the ingredients were not available in the student stores. When she looked up to chance a look at her Uncle from where he sat at his desk, she could see his eyes appraising her knowingly – almost as though he were waiting for her to take his bait and incite a row.

Thinking analytically as she methodically prepared the ingredients she did have in front of her, Estella tried to reason with her Uncle's method. To highlight the fact that she required ingredients from the Potion Master's private stores would reveal the advancement of the potion she was brewing and raise suspicion… yet if her Uncle wanted her to do some work in his class without requesting use of his stores then there had to be an applicable substitution she could employ to the same effect. Was he really just trying to challenge her? Deciding that he must have had that in mind, Estella set to work wracking her mind and what little text resources she had in front of her to analyse the properties of the missing ingredients and come up with an approximate alternative.

Recalling with a measure of satisfaction an obscure passage in an old potions book from her mother's collection that she'd all but memorised Estella realised that her missing ingredient could be readily substituted by equal quantities of hellebore and aconite, prepared in the same manner as the intended ingredient would have been. Fetching the said ingredients from the student stores and setting to work diligently, Estella completed the potion and had it bottled within moments of the bell ringing.

From the competent challenge of her Potions class to the completely foreign medium of Arithmancy, Estella revelled in throwing herself headfirst in a completely new subject she was already behind in. It was not going to be easy to catch up on half a year's work, and it would have been all but impossible had Estella not been an avid reader in her younger years.

Lunch followed soon after, and it was here that John and Reg took great delight in informing her all about the Triwizards Tournament and explaining who the students from the other schools were and how Hogwarts managed to have two entrants into the contest. As soon as she heard the circumstances by which Harry's name was innocuously spewed from the Goblet of Fire, she could tell something was amiss at the school.

_'Harry's involved when he shouldn't be_.' Her father had said to her; and, well, judging by how the Weasley twin's failed attempts to 'age' themselves to fool the goblet into receiving their submission it became increasingly clear that however Harry became involved against the tournament's regulations, it was not by his own design.

Reg and John were halfway through giving Estella a highly animated account of Harry's encounter with the Hungarian Horntail dragon during the first task when the awed Ravenclaw worriedly sought out Harry's face for the first time since she had entered the Great Hall. True to Elsie's word, the general population of Hogwarts was too preoccupied with the Tournament to truly register her return. The Ravenclaws knew better than to pry and detract the object of consideration or themselves away from study; while she hadn't had a class with the Slytherins yet and the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff students she had already encountered were generally too focused on their respective school champions to spread gossip. It therefore came as quite a surprise to the infamous Gryffindor to see the familiar grey eyes of the Black line staring at him from across the room; their owner back from the past, alive, and settling back into school; his eyes seeking her out after Ron's younger sister – who was in her Charms class – passed on the news.

'Surprise!' Estella smirked into her plate, forever capturing the priceless look of shock and awe that washed over the boy-who-lived's face when Ginny's claim was confirmed. It had been a mutual decision between all involved not to inform the industrious Potter about Estella's return in favour of permitting the boy to concentrate on his role in the Yule Ball and giving Estella time to regroup.

Predictably, Harry quickly gathered up his two faithful sidekicks and rose from the Gryffindor table to seek her out. Excusing herself from the Ravenclaw table, she crossed the room to meet them halfway. As she got closer to Harry, however, her emotions spiralled to the edge of losing control. Up close, it was much easier not to mistake the boy for his father; but still, the fact that he was here in front of her at all served as a bittersweet reminder of who had been lost.

Standing toe to toe, the pair didn't hesitate in exchanging a terse, awkward embrace. While for Harry it was a culmination of an apology and relief at knowing, by extension, that his Godfather was out of his misery; for Estella it was merely a need to seek contact from the offspring of two people she had, in her point of view, seen barely a fortnight ago. In Harry's arms she could almost pretend that it was James brushing past her in his haste to get out of a classroom. In Harry's gaze she could see memories of Lily studying her intently as she waited for her answer as they quizzed each other in preparation for tests.

It wasn't that Estella had grown spectacularly close to the Marauders or the girls in their lives. Part of her readily acknowledged that while Peter ogled her like some sick nut with a crush and a somewhat needy and insecure Remus valued the company of anyone who could stand being near him despite knowing his secret; Sirius and James pretty much based their interest in her on the level of what notes she could take for them and her envied connections with the Broom industry; and Lily and Selina were always after a competent study partner. She just wasn't in the past long enough to truly mean more to them than that. As a result, Estella felt that she was also denied the opportunity to really get to know them. Lily would always be the one Selina would confide her secrets to, and vice a versa; and while the boys were a lot more open and easy going, she'd only found out about their two biggest secrets – becoming Animagi and Remus' condition – by accident.

The biggest irony was that it was Peter who invested his faith her most fully, convincing James and Sirius not to go to the drastic lengths of distorting the integrity of what she had overheard by attempting a memory charm on her; but rather to bestow her with knowledge. To think of how alienated and how much less enjoyable her time in the past would have been if the two-timing little rat hadn't vouched for her and given her the opportunity to prove herself to them as being trustworthy.

"Estella?" Harry looked at her concernedly, his hands balancing heavily on either shoulder.

"What? Oh, sorry James… I was in another world." Estella muttered, only to stare wildly and swipe her hand over her mouth in shock when it became apparent what she had said. Her pained grey eyes meeting startled green, Estella shook her head, rattling the past from her mind. "I'm… I'm sorry."

"Why did you just call Harry, James?" Ron stared at her suspiciously, having only been aware of Sirius' innocence and his decision to reclaim his daughter; and not her side trip to the past.

"I suspect she would have been learning a lot about my father in recent months." Harry leapt to her rescue, his hungry green eyes casting her a meaningful look. "It's so great to see you're back! I'm sorry how we left things… I did try and talk to you back then but…"

"Harry. HARRY!" Estella interrupted him, shaking her head in warning – it would not do to have a conversation in public that alluded to her father's innocence. "Please, I just want to leave the past in the past. I have a feeling the future is going to hurl enough stuff this way as it is."

Harry looked at her sharply, his immediate interpretation drawing the conclusion that she was not going to share with him stories of his parents. A reproachful look from her, however, soon set him straight and caused his emerald irises to sparkle like gems.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Estella could then see Hermione give Ron a short, sharp stab in his side with her elbow. Flinching as though startled from a reverie, Ron cleared his throat compulsively and rubbed sweaty palms over the thighs of his threadbare robes.

"I, er, was a bit of a git." Ron averted his eyes. "But that was because I thought your Dad…"

"RON!" Two equally urgent Gryffindors hissed at their friend, warning him of the appropriateness of his content, Harry having had caught on to the earlier admonishment of his own near slip.

"Not here." Hermione reminded him, causing the red-headed boy to flush and step down a peg or two.

"Gee Hermione, you wanted me to apologise, didn't you?" Ron shook his head in confusion. "Make up your mind."

"I don't want your apology if someone else forced you to say it." Estella said coolly, narrowing her gaze.

"No! That's not what I meant!" Ron spluttered looking to Harry for help. "Harry, mate, you know what I…"

"Look I just came to say hello." Estella said, addressing them all. "Now is not the right time to…"

"See, that's what I said, Ron!" Hermione chastised her friend more thoroughly. "Estella, it's lovely seeing you back again. I'm sure we'll catch up more thoroughly when you're more settled."

"Thank you, Hermione." Estella nodded gratefully. "I'm still a little behind the times. Jet lag, I think the Muggles call it." She looked pointedly at Harry. "There was a bit of a time delay between here and where I've spent the past few months."

Harry nodded imperceptibly in silent agreement that they would seek each other out in a more private arena to set aside their differences and get reacquainted. Before they could make any arrangements, however, Draco Malfoy sauntered over.

"Hello, Estella." Draco drawled in a confident, monotonous tone; his ogre-like bodyguards flanking him on either side. "Potter."

"Malfoy." Harry glared, stepping slightly in front of Estella. Then, seeing their eccentric Defence Professor hobbling towards them from over the coy Slytherin's shoulder, he smiled. "Hello, Professor Moody."

Draco demonstrably paled and retreated slightly. "I'll be seeing you later, Estella." He said in parting, quickly making his exit before the overbearing professor would see reason to transfigure him into a ferret again.

Estella could only nod, confused at the normally self-assured Malfoy's complete turn around and the three amused looks on the Gryffindor's faces.

"You must be Miss Black." Professor Moody clapped a hand on her shoulder, sending a cool shiver down her spine. "I am Professor Alastor Moody, your new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher."

Estella eyed the strange man curiously. She had met the decommissioned Auror several years ago at a function the school hosted for what Dumbledore referred to as 'the old crowd' during the Summer holidays; and yet here he was introducing himself for the first time. She wracked her brain fruitlessly… maybe she had him mistaken for another wizard with a wooden leg and a magical eye. The combination was an odd one, but if this man didn't know who she was then clearly it must not have been as rare as she had thought.

"Uh, nice to meet you, Sir." Estella said. "I look forward to our class after lunch."

Professor Moody's magical eye whirled, making her uncomfortable under its scrutiny. "I've heard interesting things about you, Miss Black." He said, giving her an unreadable look as his magical eye lingered on her pendant, as though assessing it. "Enjoy the rest of your lunch."

As Professor Moody hobbled away, Estella rubbed her arms furiously, trying in vain to dispel the rash of goose bumps that peppered her skin in the man's presence, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand on end. She knew from his name that he had once been a respectable Auror, and therefore quite trustworthy, but she couldn't shake the feeling of dread. Something about the man just gave her the creeps… and her pendant was uncharacteristically cool.

"He's a little… different." Hermione looked after the Professor's retreating back, sympathising with Estella's unease. "But he's quite a competent teacher."

"You should see what he did to Malfoy." Ron smirked.

"Turned him into a ferret." Harry nodded.

Estella narrowed her eyes. As amusing as it was, she knew from having an ex-Auror for a teacher in her time in the past that a man with such power would not take advantage of a student's inability to defend themselves by subjecting them to such humiliation. Even Professor Potter, who had a sense of humour and didn't mind the odd prank on even grounds, would never have resorted to transfiguring a student. Something was definitely up.

Her experiences during her double DADA class that afternoon did little to ally her suspicions. Since when were the unforgivables on the school curriculum?

"Miss Black, would you like to volunteer for the class?" Professor Moody's magical eye lolled at her. "I would like to assess how far behind you are."

"Pardon?" Estella's eyes were wide as saucers, as were those of most of her class.

"Oh I assure you it won't harm you." Professor Moody stared at her intently, his wand levelled at her. "Imperio."

_'Come to the front of the class' _Estella heard a firm voice urge her to act, the direction the only point of clarity in her foggy mind. Nothing else mattered at that moment besides going to the front of the class.

Taking but one step forward, however, Estella's mind sharpened back into focus. Why did she want to go up to the front of the class? The teacher this year did not quite sit right with her, why did she want to do as he said? Faltering in her step, Estella could feel the persistent urging in her mind get more forceful.

_'Come to the front, now!_' Her Professor's voice growled in her mind, the man in question now gripping his wand so tightly in his hand as he threw his strength into the spell that the tip of his wand was shaking.

Her eyes concentrating on the tip of the wand pointed at her, Estella's hand instinctively flew to her wand, the voice in her head all but gone in her conditioned urge to defend herself.

"Expelliarmus!" Her teacher's voice snapped at her, the man's one good eye wild and affronted; a single bead of sweat evident on his brow.

"No!" Estella croaked, helpless as her wand flew from her hand.

Almost as though he was just noticing the rest of the class' stunned looks, Professor Moody lowered his wand and looked at her with an eerie smile on his face. Sheafing his own wand to take a sip from his ever-present hipflask, the Professor approached her from where she stood at her desk, somewhat wary.

"Very impressive, Miss Black." Professor Moody appraised her lightly, handing her back her wand. "It takes an extremely stubborn witch to resist the Imperius Curse." He levelled his magical eye at her searchingly. "Tell me, what did you do to prevent yourself from complying with my request?"

Estella shrugged, her fingers twitching over the smooth dark wood of her wand, which she could not bring herself to holster. "Maybe I could sense you were requesting me to do something and not compelling me to."

"Quite right." Professor Moody took the opportunity to redeem himself and grabbed it with both hands. "I would not put full power into such a spell on a student. I was merely trying to let you get an idea on what the process was like."

As much sense as the off-beat Defence teacher was making, Estella couldn't help but feel that there was something contrived in the man's statement. She had not been blind to the effort the man had gone to in casting his spell, and had chosen the Slytherin option of protecting his ego in giving her response. That he had been so quick to brush off her feat as something he had permitted, only added to her unease. Asides from Professor Lockhart, she'd not experienced such a ego-driven teacher, and from Alastor Moody's reputation, he hardly seemed the type. Before either of them could travel down that road, though, the bell tolled to signify the end of classes. Estella was instantly reminded of the well worn Muggle saying, 'saved by the bell'; for saved by the bell she was… or so she thought.

Waiting outside the library for her friends to catch up to her (they had been working on a extra-credit group assignment for Ancient Runes before the school had adjourned for Christmas and had wanted to discuss something with their Professor after that class) Estella was alone in the corridor. On any other occasion, Estella would have just walked into the library; only the librarian had been absent at lunch and was more than likely to be unaware of her return and make a fuss: at least if she walked in with some other students she would have a reason to extricate herself from the awkward reunion.

It was while she stood and waited that, to her horror, he pendant began to warm slightly against he skin. Before she had time to react, a hand gripped her forearm.

"Hello, Estella. We meet again." Draco loomed over her with a wry, false smile on his face.

Judging by his book bag and the pile of books under his free arm, the boy had been on his way to the library.

Noting from that observation that the boy, whose hands were occupied holding his books and her arm respectively, was not in ready reach of his wand; Estella felt marginally safer. Though she had always been a little wary of the Malfoy's political aspirations and careful not to divulge her divergent beliefs accordingly, now that Draco most likely knew now that her loyalties were not in synch with his own, she found that she would miss the Slytherin's company. Despite everything, the boy had been a bright and considerate study partner and enthusiastic chess player whose sardonic sense of humour rivalled her own.

When Estella hadn't said anything in return, the smooth Slytherin removed his hand from her arm and smiled even more benignly at her.

"Have a nice time away?" He asked, his malignant tone all but giving away the fact that he knew.

"It's good to be back at school." Estella feinted, avoiding his question.

Hearing some students approach, Draco brushed past her and pushed open the Library door; hesitating only to look back at her. "My father sends his regards." He said with a smirk so sinister – and reminiscent of his lineage - that it made Estella's insides crawl.

She was still purging her body of the reactive shudders that wracked her bones when she was reunited with her friends. After exchanging the dispersing with the customary small-talk, the group entered the library; Estella making sure they sat well out of the way of a certain Slytherin.

Unbeknownst to the (now) conscientiously studying child, another Slytherin had been watching her extremely carefully. Emerging from the shadows of the dimly lit corridor, Severus Snape exhaled sharply and returned his wand to his robes. He had been on his way to the infirmary, slinking down in the unsuspecting shadows of the Castle's corridors, when he had happened across his niece with the young Malfoy heir. It became increasingly apparent that the impressionable youth was an agent for his father; and that he knew where Estella had truly been in recent months… so Severus knew that he had to be extremely careful how he approached the situation. Anything and everything Draco witnessed him to do to his niece, Draco would report back to his father; and with Severus presently under orders to commandeer his niece, it would not do to present the young Slytherin with news that his head of house had the opportunity to get the child on her own outside of classes – with no witnesses – and refrained. So, Severus stood, watching from the shadows, his wand drawn and ready to put his position on the line if Draco advanced on his niece with anything that remotely looked like a wand or a Portkey. The thought that next time the young Malfoy would be better prepared and that he might not be there in the shadows, ready to intervene, sent a cold shiver down the reticent Potion Master's spine.

He had to keep a very careful eye on the young Slytherin… and have a very strongly worded discussion with his niece. How could she be so daft as to leave herself open, alone in a corridor like that?

As the pensive Housemaster turned and went on his way, his patent black robes billowing around his wiry frame, the industrious Slytherin resolved, again, to protect his niece at all costs. Subsequently changing his course for the Owlery, Severus went over the rapidly forming plan in his mind. He had an Owl to send…

**End Chapter: New Beginnings**


	91. Secrets of the Twilight

Updated: Monday 20th June 2005

Disclaimer: Not mine. Specifically, any identifiable dialogue is solicitously borrowed from GOF.

**Chapter Ninety One: Secrets of the Twilight**

Estella paced the abandoned classroom nervously, wondering if Harry had gotten lost. Maybe the stairwell had changed and he was delayed – yes, that was probably it. Surely he wouldn't have been found by Filch under that cloak of his. Estella had slipped him a note at dinner requesting an audience with him at the place and time where they'd had their first real conversation. He'd nodded at her in understanding, and Estella had taken for granted that the boy would be thinking of the room that had the mirror in it that night a few years back.

A tell-tale noise behind her as a heavy veil of material was uncovered assured Estella that he'd gotten the reference right.

"I'm sorry." Two voices cut each other off in their haste.

Estella stopped her talking to let him speak. The tousled-haired Gryffindor regarded her with a contemplative look.

"I shouldn't have taken things out on you." Harry said honestly. "I was just so… Merlin I can't even describe how I was feeling."

"How do you think I felt, Harry?" Estella asked, the pain and angst she had felt at the end of the previous school year coming back to her. "I felt as betrayed as you did, AND I knew I risked losing your friendship; and for a time there, I DID!"

"I'm sorry I pushed you away." Harry said remorsefully. "I didn't know what I was doing. It wasn't supposed to be something personal against you."

"Well you made it that way!" Estella scolded him. "Would you even be here now, doing this, if things hadn't turned out like they had? If my father was guilty?"

"I don't know. Maybe." Harry shrugged. "I didn't have any friends growing up…"

"What has that got to do with anything?" Estella stared at him incredulously.

"Well, just that I am not so quick at discarding friends." Harry said, grimacing when it didn't quite come out the way he wanted to.

"Well you could have fooled me!" Estella scoffed, referring to how she felt chewed up and spat out by the then-angry teenager. "You couldn't get rid of me quick enough!"

"But you don't understand!" Harry tried to defend himself. "I thought the whole reason we were friends was a lie. It was different! I acted foolishly, I admit. I probably would have stopped blaming you for things you had no control over eventually; but the fact is we were both wrong about things – your Dad is innocent – and as soon as I found that out I felt so bad." He paused to collect himself. "I couldn't help but feel it was my fault that he was ever kept away from you. If he didn't go after Peter that night… you… one of us would have had a parent. I thought you would be angry at me, so I may as well be angry at you. It was stupid."

"I admit, I blamed you for that a bit too." Estella sighed. "I turned you out when you tried to talk to me after that night. I don't know what I was doing – I so wanted to find out what happened after my Uncle took me out of there… but you hurt me Harry, and I…"

"I know, I'm sorry." Harry reiterated. "Forgive me?"

"Alright." Estella smiled slightly… having gotten to know Harry's parents, she felt all the more closer to the boy before her. She owed it to their memories to make amends with their son. "Forgiven."

They shared a awkward brother-sister like hug.

"So," Harry said, pulling away first. "What is it you were sorry about?"

Estella looked at him sadly. "Your parents." She said, her watery grey eyes shimmering like a turbulent sea on a winter's day.

"Tell me about them?" Harry asked, taking her hand and pulling her down to sit with him.

* * *

After Estella had answered Harry's seemingly endless list of questions, it was Estella's turn to inquire after the school's boy-of-the-moment. Harry, in turn, regaled her with stories of the Quidditch World Cup and how he had been going in the Tri-Wizard's Tournament. When the excited boy got to the topic of the Yule Ball, however, Estella grew pensive. 

"Estella, what's wrong?" Harry asked, noticing the sad, far away look on the girl's face.

"The Yule Ball." Estella sighed. "We were at Hogsmeade getting last minute Christmas gifts and we were going to go try on dresses…"

"What happened?" Harry asked her in concern. He'd not even known she'd been back until Ginny had told him and he'd seen her for himself in the Great Hall; let alone how she had returned.

Estella then explained how she came to return to the future, specifically how unplanned it had been and what state she had been in when she had returned.

Harry swore.

"Harry!" Estella scolded him… her eyes softening when he shot her an apologetic look. "Bad choice of word, but I can't help but agree with the sentiment, though."

"Merlin!" Harry toned down his exclamation. "You're lucky to be alive!"

"Yeah, if it gets out, I'll become the 'girl-who-lived' – we'd be the perfect pair." She sniggered. "Only I got away before the curse hit, obviously."

"Wait, did you say my grandfather was a teacher?" Harry backtracked, the information finally hitting him.

"Well actually he was an Auror first… which of course made him a brilliant Defence teacher." Estella gushed. "Don't tell Remus, but I'd say Harry was better than him by far."

"Harry?" Harry's brows shot above his hairline.

"You have no idea how trippy it was calling him that!" Estella smiled wistfully at the memories. Though it still hurt to think of them, she didn't want to forget them at any cost. "Didn't you know your Grandfather's name was Henry? I reckon your parents would have named you that had he not liked Harry better! Hated people calling him Professor, he did. Though only me, Sirius and Remus were game enough to actually call him Harry in class. Your Dad called him 'Professor' just to stir him up." She paused. "They were a lot alike, those two."

"All I knew of my grandfather was that he was at my parent's wedding leaning on a cane." Harry sighed. "And that he wore glasses."

"He must have left his leg without a splint for too long." Estella mused, shaking her head. "I told him he should have splinted it straight away, but nooo he was too busy seeing after everyone else. He was a really great man, Harry. You would have really liked him."

The pair sat in a comfortable silence until Estella let out a shaky breath.

"I miss them." She said sadly. Harry reciprocated by pulling her into a hug.

"Some times I think I am lucky for not having any actual memory of my parents." He said sadly. "But I don't know what is worse, that or knowing what I am missing."

"Not knowing has its advantages." Estella admitted, thinking of how her perspectives on her Mother had changed in recent times. "I never knew my mother before, and now I at least got to meet her I feel like I've lost her for the first time." She looked at him intently. "It hurts to know they were all great people… your parents would have made such brilliant parents, Harry… and your Grandfather would have been so proud…" Her voice trailed off. "And me knowing my mother as a classmate doesn't compare to how she would have been as a mother." Her face hardened. "It makes me so angry, to know that was taken away from us."

"Yes, but we can't change it." Harry tried to explain to her. "You can't get mad like that, it will only eat you up inside."

"I could have changed it though! I could have told them everything!" Estella scolded herself.

"No." Harry shook his head vehemently. "They would not have believed you… and it would only have made things worse here. Think of all the other people that would have died if Voldemort hadn't been stopped that night!"

"I did think of that." Estella's eyes were downcast. "That's why I didn't say anything… but Harry, what if things could have been better if I had? What happens if Voldemort was going to fall soon anyway after that night? There's no reason why someone else couldn't have taken him down that night."

"I guess we'll never know now." Harry said sadly. "It was meant to happen this way. I don't like it anymore than you, believe me, but it's just the way things are."

"It's not fair." Estella scowled.

"I never said it was." Harry said, agreeing with her.

"You sound like my Dad." Estella smiled softly.

"Sirius? How is he?" Harry asked. "He does know you're back, doesn't he? Merlin Estella, he was going out of his brain when you were gone! No one knew if you were coming back or not!"

"Of course he knows I am back." Estella assured the boy, going on to tell him in detail what had happened when she returned.

"You flew?" Harry looked at her, surprised – and somewhat put out that he had been left at the school unawares. "A firebolt?"

"What, are you the only one allowed to have one?" Estella jibed him playfully. "But yeah, I was a bit apprehensive about starting out on such a internationally-classed broom; but it did save our lives in the end…" she broke off for dramatic effect before giving an abridged version of what happened at her family's country estate.

"Wait, you did magic outside of school?" Harry looked at her, confused. "Since when did you know how to advance brooms?"

"Oh boy…" Estella exclaimed exasperatedly, not unlike a certain Samuel Beckett in the television series Quantum Leap that she had gotten hooked on a few years previously when she as last at her godfather's over summer.

Broom adventures recounted and out of the way, Estella was wary to see the same excited glint in Harry's eyes that she had spied in her father's. She groaned.

"Oh no, not you too!" She threw her hands up in the air.

"What?" Harry asked innocently.

"Dad's already given me a list of names that he and James had come up with!" Estella rolled her eyes.

"My Dad made up names for brooms?" Harry asked abruptly, thirsty for information.

"Yes." Estella nodded, then looked at the sponge-like boy with a new light in her eyes. "You know what his favourite name was?"

"What?" Harry asked, feeling subconscious at how Estella was ogling his forehead as though she was suddenly awed by it.

"If he ever swindled a broom maker to name a broom in his honour…" Estella dragged it out for effect, enjoying how she made the excited teen squirm. "He was going to name it… oh Harry… he was going to name it The Lightning Bolt!"

"You're kidding me!" Harry reeled back in surprise, his hand instinctively flying to his scar, which he rubbed furiously.

"I kid you not!" Estella shook her head resolutely. "It only just occurred to me how freaky that is."

"I'll say." Harry shook his head in disbelief. "Wow."

An awed silence followed as the bewildered pair processed their respective input of new information.

"So…" Harry asked finally. "Are you going to do it? Are you going to help redevelop that broom for Cleansweep?"

"Maybe." Estella shrugged. "Dad said it'd be the least I could do for them after accepting their help back then. But I still have to figure out how I did it. I couldn't practice it anymore outside of the school after Malfoy tracked the magic."

"Well now you're at school." Harry said suggestively, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I am sure the Gryffindor Quidditch team won't mind you experimenting on their brooms."

Estella looked at Harry sharply. "Harry! No one must know! While being able to decipher curses or charms is something lots of people can pick up, people will ask how I knew the spells, Harry." She shook her head. "Those spells are not in any school textbooks, Harry. I am not supposed to know how to make brooms fly! You can't tell anyone!"

Appreciating the seriousness of the situation and the importance of keeping anything that could possibly associate Estella with the past secret, Harry agreed. It was bad enough to know that Voldemort knew where she had been – having the Ministry and everyone else know could lead to even worse things.

"I could try and make a few subtle amendments." Estella smiled malevolently, her Slytherin colours flying in clear view as she relented. "I would have to get Mr Ollerton's permission, of course, but I am sure he won't mind me testing a few things out in the interests of research."

"Wicked!" Harry grinned at her, all the talk of broomsticks driving him into another account of the Quidditch World Cup.

"You should see them… they are so much better than Muggle binoculars!" Harry gushed over the functions of the magical Omnioculars he'd discovered for the first time at the Cup.

"You really think so?" Estella shrugged. She didn't have the heart to tell the excited Gryffindor that she'd been using Omniculars for years. "I don't think they're much different from the instant replay screens at a Muggle football match. "You've never watched Muggle sport on telly?"

Harry shook his head. "The Dursleys don't let me watch much television."

"Good grief, Harry!" Estella shook her head. "My Dad's a pureblood wizard and even he can't get enough of Muggle sports! He doesn't quite understand the concept, mind, but he enjoys anything that keeps him occupied… you know, since he's couped up inside most of the time." She paused. "He's spewing he missed the World Cup, you know. He told me a bit about it – and all that what he had heard happened with the Dark Mark. Say… how good is your memory?" Harry just stared at her, not understanding where she was going with her sudden request. She rolled her eyes and explained further. "You remember the match pretty well, right?" Estella pressed, Harry nodded. "I have an idea. Meet me in the library tomorrow after classes. I have a free after Herbology, so I'll be there all afternoon."

"What have you got planned?" Harry eyed her carefully.

"Oh, nothing serious." She said, giggling giddily at her own pun. "I just thought you might like to help me write a special letter… I'll tell you more tomorrow." She yawned widely and rubbed her eyes. "But no offence, I'm too beat to go into it now."

Yawning contagiously, Harry pushed his glasses up his nose as he rubbed his own eyes wearily and looked at his watch. "Merlin, is that the time? We got to be up in a few hours! I'm so going to fall asleep in class!"

"So will I." Estella agreed, pulling herself onto her feet and shaking out the resilient pins and needles sensation that set her nerves on fire. "It's a good thing I have double History in the morning."

"If I could be so lucky." Harry groaned. "I have double Potions."

"Oh boy…" Estella gasped, mirroring her earlier sentiment.

* * *

Even after a restful nap in her double History of Magic class, Estella could not be prepared for the exhaustive exercise her double Potions class was to be like. And to think she had actually led herself to thinking that her Uncle would have exhausted his negative energies on Harry in the previous class. 

"Miss Black." Her Uncle snapped at her before she'd even had a chance to set down her books and collect her independent study notes. Holding up a vial she recognised as her submitted potion from the day before, Estella eyed him curiously. "Care to explain the meaning of this?"

"I don't understand… sir." Estella frowned, moving a little closer to her Uncle's desk so that their conversation would not become a public spectacle… well, less of one anyway, since her Uncle seemed unwilling to lower his voice. "It's the potion you had me brew yesterday."

"This is not the potion I asked you to brew yesterday." Professor Snape glared at her, spittle dotting his chin. It was so much easier for her to think of her Uncle as 'Professor' when he was playing the role like this for it helped her to separate the actor before her with the man she knew was repressed inside.

"Oh?" Estella peered more closely at the vial.

"The potion I requested that you brew specifically required ingredients from my potions store, yet you did not ask me for any." The Potions Master went on. "So how is this the same potion?"

"I improvised, sir." Estella told him factually, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "I substituted the…"

"I know very well what you did, Miss Black." Professor Snape interrupted her with a condescending tone. "Five points from Ravenclaw for deviating from the prescribed instructions!"

"But the potion's just as effective!" Estella growled defensively at him, momentarily forgetting the dual roles that they were forced to play. She did, after all, did not take too lightly to being criticised for no reason. Had it been one of the man's Slytherins who had displayed such initiative, they would have had points awarded for innovation; not been punished in front of the whole class; and act or no act, she still had pride.

"You will desist with your protests, Miss Black." Severus gave her a warning look. "Or it will be ten points."

"Yes, sir." Estella huffed through gritted teeth. "May I have my instructions for today, sir?"

Severus wordlessly handed her a piece of parchment. "A potion the class did in October." He said for the benefit of all who was listening. Then, looking Estella directly in the eyes so that there could be no question, he added pointedly. "See to it that you follow the instructions to the letter."

"Yes, sir." Estella narrowed her eyes at the man and accepted the parchment. Halfway back to her desk, however, Estella faltered in her step as she looked over the instructions – there must be a mistake. To make the potion exactly how her Uncle had instructed on her piece of parchment would undoubtedly cause it to explode! What was he playing at? Had he been up late the night before and gotten it wrong? No, her Uncle was never wrong about such things – especially not such a relatively routine potion, this one actually on the third year syllabus – but surely he didn't want her to make a show of blowing up her cauldron! She'd never heard of something so ridiculous! No one would be able to buy that she, Estella Black, niece and live-in charge of one of Europe's most skilled of Potions Masters, would be able to botch a simple draught!

Then again, perhaps it was all part of his plan… had he anticipated her changing the directions of the previous day's potion; giving himself the window of opportunity to reprimand her and pointedly instruct her to follow today's instructions to the letter? Well, if he wanted to play the game this way, Estella had no choice but to go along. He'd better have some pretty good answers later though, because she could hardly see why things had to be done this way.

Begrudgingly, Estella diligently set to work on creating the doomed potion. Stepping back from her cauldron at the precise moment that it started to shake violently and bubble over, Estella shielded herself from the imminent blast of chunky fluid by casting a shield around herself. Predictably, her Uncle was upon her in an instant.

"Black," He hissed, looming over he desk. "I will not tolerate such disruptive attempts at getting my attention."

"I wasn't trying to get your attention, sir." Estella responded in low tones. "I can't help that accidents happen…"

"Accident?" Professor Snape leered, eying her clean form up and down. "Yet you could clearly see it coming."

"I made a mistake, all right?" Estella admitted grittily, knowing it was fruitless to point out his deliberate act of sabotaging her ingredients list. "But even I could see when it was about to explode!"

"If you had followed my instructions precisely, this would not have happened!" Professor Snape lamented. "Do you think you are too good for this class?"

"I don't think that, sir." Estella looked at him strangely.

"Yet you totally disregard my explicit instructions." He growled at her contemplatively. "Pack up your things, Black. Get out of my class."

"What?" Estella gawked at him in shock. Wherever she thought her Uncle was going with this, she didn't think it would lead to this.

"I will not teach students who insist upon undermining my authority." Severus gave her a pointed look, the slight shimmer of feeling in them betraying his outward features. "Now get out."

Estella stared open-mouthed at her Uncle in bewilderment. She didn't like things the way they were, sure, but she'd kind of got used to the idea of it; even starting to look forward to their misleading banter in class. Now he was kicking her out? When would she get to see him? When would she get to learn potions? The confused girl was halfway out of class when her Uncle called her back.

"Black. Come back here." Her Uncle intoned gruffly from his desk. Estella approached with a almost hopeful look in her eyes – could she stay?

"Take this letter to the Headmaster immediately." Was all he said, handing her a sealed piece of parchment. As his fingers deliberately brushed against her own, Estella jolted as though an electric current had just passed between them. But as soon as it had come between them, it was gone; and when Estella blinked her eyes back into focus, her Uncle was already pouring over his work, leaving her standing there, hand outstretched, like some idiot.

Spinning on her heels obstinately, Estella swept out of the room, her hands laden with her hastily cleaned potions equipment and a curious piece of parchment in her hand. When she reached the stone gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office, the eccentric old man was there, waiting for her.

"Ah, right on time I see, Miss Black." He said by way of greeting. "Come."

"He planned this, didn't he?" Estella whispered in awe as the staircase they were on spiralled up the tower to the headmaster's office. Remembering the parchment she had in her hand, she held it out to him. "He asked me to give you this."

"Oh no, child." The headmaster smiled at her sadly. "That letter is for you."

"What?" Estella blurted before it could sink in. "Oh…"

"It cannot leave this office, however." Professor Dumbledore explained as he gestured for her to take a seat. "I will leave you alone to your thoughts while you read it. Shall I fetch us some tea?"

"Um, thank you." Estella said distractedly, her fingers itching to see what her uncle could have had to write to her that it warranted such an elaborate delivery. "Yes please, I would love some tea."

The headmaster nodded serenely and disappeared into a side room off his main office. Alone in the room, Estella settled in the big comfortable chair in front of the headmaster's desk and tore open the seal impatiently.

'_Dear Estella' _The letter began in her Uncle's finest script… not many people were aware of it, but her Uncle truly did possess a beautiful hand when he applied himself. It was nothing like the impatient chicken scrawls that ran angrily like spontaneous streaks of blood over his student's essays.

_'As I am sure by now your astute Ravenclaw mind has begun to appreciate the necessity of such precautions, I will not explain how this letter has come to be delivered this way.'_

Estella snorted. "Duh." She muttered, reading on.

_'I regret to inform you that you will no longer attend my Potions class with your peers.'_

Estella gasped.

_'The pressure on myself to extricate you from the school and have you held accountable for past events is insurmountable. I will not take the risk of giving Lucius cause to doubt my loyalties in the acknowledgement that to do so would put you at even greater risk. Nor will I continue to insult your intelligence and waste valuable class time with the required charades.'_

Estella snorted… recognising her Uncle's veiled apology immediately.

_'Therefore I have arranged with your headmaster and an old associate of mine for you to be privately tutored. You will be meeting him momentarily; and let me assure you I will be keeping a close eye on your progress.'_

Estella's eyes widened. Who would her Uncle send for to tutor her?

_'On the matter of our continued correspondence I propose that you compose a response within the Headmaster's office and leave it with him. Trust that I will then do the same. It is imperative that any evidence of our correspondence NEVER leaves the Headmaster's office. People are watching, Estella.'_

Estella rolled her eyes… melodrama, much? Her eyes misted, however, when she saw her Uncle's parting words… which, judging by the shaky hand and change of ink, was what he had hastily added in the time that she was preparing to leave his class.

_'I do love you, Estella.'_

"Oh Uncle Sev!" Estella smiled sadly, comforted in the knowledge that her Uncle was evidently feeling the strain of their separation as much as she was.

"Lemon drop?" The Headmaster was sat across the table from her, holding out a small velvet pouch of his favourite sweets.

_'When had he got back?_' Estella wondered, tossing her head quickly to shake the thoughts in her mind as she politely declined the sour treat.

"Further to your Uncle's letter, there are several other directives that he wished to impart." Professor Dumbledore explained to her. "We're all out to preserve your safety."

"What do I have to do now." Estella groaned, leaning back in her chair heavily.

"Ah, I did anticipate that you would be somewhat displeased by the implementation of such special impositions." Dumbledore smiled at her knowingly, his blue eyes sparkling at something behind Estella. "Hence I have called upon an old friend to go over them with you."

Following her headmaster's line of sight, Estella turned around in her chair to come face to face with her father.

"Dad!" Estella cried out. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, nice to see you too, kiddo." Sirius said, looking affronted. "Why, I'm here to do my fatherly duties and set you in line."

"Oh?" Estella cocked a brow at her father… her father whose number one rule had predominantly been: "No rules."

"I'm serious, kiddo." Sirius reprimanded his daughter's blasé approach, cringing at the unintended pun.

"Yes, I know you're Sirius." Estella smirked… but her father wasn't laughing. "Oh, you really are, aren't you?"

"There are certain things even I won't kid about." Sirius said, his face radiating a intimidating strength that would have sent witches and wizards her father had confronted in his time as an Auror running. "One of them being your safety."

"Am I not safe at the school?" Estella asked, an almost hopeful lilt to her voice. "Do I have to come home?"

Sirius sighed. "It's not as safe here as it should be." He said. "But if you follow a few simple rules, you will be fine."

"Are you saying that I, as your daughter, have to follow the rules?" Estella asked incredulously. "You really must be serious."

"They aren't restrictive rules, don't worry." Sirius assured her, sitting next to her on the chair. "But I must insist that they be followed. You don't want to make your Uncle Remus any more greyer than he is."

"Just Uncle Remus?" Estella raised a brow, recognising her father's indirect way of expressing his worry for her.

"Padfoot too." Sirius admitted, meeting her eyes. "He's quite old in doggy-years you know. I don't think his heart could take the strain."

"What do I have to do?" Estella asked with as much sincerity as the occasion called for.

As it turned out, the directions imposed upon Estella were quite reasonable: No going outside after dark. No wandering around the corridors by herself. Don't pick up anything that could be a charmed Portkey. Stay away from the Slytherins and go directly to Dumbledore if she ever saw anything suspicious.

"What about Hogsmeade?" Estella asked hopefully. "Will I still be able to go?"

"So long as you stay in public places." Sirius said, at war with himself – part of him wanted to wrap his child up in cotton wool so tight that there would never be a risk to her; but the other part of him still wanted to have some semblance of a normal childhood; and that included Hogsmeade privileges. "No nostalgic trips down alleys."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Estella shuddered.

"Well that's settled then." Dumbledore clasped his hands together in delight. "Now, regarding your potions tuition… allow me to introduce an old friend… Sirius?"

"All right, I'm leaving." Sirius sighed regretfully, saying a brief farewell to his daughter before flooing away; not before assuring the child that he would see her again soon and that he would keep himself safe.

* * *

The Potions Master assigned to privately tutor her was none other than her Uncle's childhood Potions teacher – the one she too had studied under during her trip to the past. The extremely old man had retired after her Uncle had competently completed his apprenticeship, retaining a close confidence with his successor and offering his services as a third party mediator on select student's assessments – namely, hers. Given a Potion Master's propensity of recognising distinct brewing styles, the trusted man had been made privy to Estella's recent adventure; and he was notably excited to finally be able to explore and nurture the child's potential. 

"I always had a feeling that you were holding back in my class, child." The authoritative man asserted.

"Well I couldn't very well let it be known that I was raised by a Potions Master at the time." Estella explained.

"Indeed." The old professor agreed, smiling at the child's chameleon like abilities. "A Slytherin one at that."

Estella smirked.

"Your Uncle has kept me closely informed on your progress over the years." He continued. "I daresay he is prouder of you than he cares to let on."

At this, Estella was shocked. For fear of giving his niece a 'head as big as a planet' her Uncle had been very sparing and aloof in dealing his praise; so the thought of him bragging about her to his esteemed predecessor was almost an unfathomable thought.

Seeing the look of disbelief on the child's face, the Potions Master shook his head. "I've known the man for over 30 years, he didn't have to say it."

A warm feeling flooded through Estella's heart – her Uncle was proud of her.

"So, about how this will work…" Estella questioned, the group then going into logistics about where and when she would have her private lessons.

* * *

As arranged, Estella was waiting for Harry in the library at the end of classes – after trailing along there with a group of peers, of course. 

"You look like death, Harry." Estella eyed the sunken eyes of her newly reacquainted friend, feeling slightly guilty for keeping him up so late the night before.

"Oh, hello to you too." Harry yawned and took a seat besides Estella at the table. "Why were you in Dumbledore's office this afternoon? You, er, had some rather curious company."

Harry was evidently mindful of any eavesdropping ears.

"I cast a privacy bubble, Potter." Estella smirked at him. "You don't have to be so cryptic."

"OK, why were you there with him?" He asked, a little affronted at the prospect of being left out of something important. "What's happened? Did they find Pettigrew? Is his name cleared?"

"Oh, Harry." Estella gasped, seeing where Harry was coming from. "You would have been there too if it was anything like that." She paused. "Dumbledore just wanted to go over some rules with me and had Dad there to give them credibility."

"What rules?" Harry looked at her sharply.

"Oh just rules to ensure that I am kept safe and don't get nabbed or something." Estella said, frowning slightly. "Just stuff like 'don't wander the school alone' and 'be on your guard'." She grinned. "On second thoughts, I'm surprised you weren't called up to Dumbledore's office to hear it too! So what, you see it on the Map?"

"Ah yes, about that." Harry rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Do you want it?"

"What? You're offering me the map?" Estella stared at him in shock. "Why?"

"Well you have just as much of a claim to it as I do…" Harry said awkwardly, referring to who had made it.

"So? I know my way around the school better than you." Estella said, giving the matter some thought. "You keep it. I'm sure you'd let me borrow it if I needed it."

"Of course." Harry assured her, the look of relief on his face betraying his reluctance to part with it. "So, what did you want to meet me here for?"

"Well, there's this charm…" Estella began, going on to explain to him about a spell her Godfather had taught her that would enable a living memory to be concealed within a letter. "…so…" She continued. "What do you think? Would you mind sharing the memory of the match with him? It would be the biggest surprise for him!"

"Tell me what I have to do." Harry said agreeably, pulling out his wand.

* * *

Severus had night duty two nights of the week… Tuesday and Friday. On those nights he was explicably absent from his private rooms, likely to be found prowling the corridors at any point in the school. It was therefore the perfect opportunity to sneak into the Ravenclaw rooms to check on his niece. 

With the assistance of a invisibility potion – a substance that while not overly difficult to brew was somewhat obscure in its knowledge and entirely unpredictable if not properly administered – Severus let himself into the Ravenclaw Common Room and stole his way down the hallway in the direction of his niece's dorm. One of the perils of using a invisibility potion, as opposed to a invisibility cloak, was that once ingested, one had to let the potion run its course. Many wizards had been maimed and killed by unsuspecting friends or family after said ally was unable to identify who was hiding amongst them. Many more wizards had met with a grisly end after a imbibed invisibility potion wore off whilst in the middle of a expedition into enemy territory. Thankfully, as a highly competent Potions Master, Severus was able to adequately anticipate the potion's effects and orchestrate his plan accordingly. He would have about 15 minutes to get in and out of the Ravenclaw rooms – he could not, by any circumstances, be seen leaving or entering their common room.

Creeping into the third year girl's dormitory, Severus made a beeline for his niece's dishevelled bed and drew the curtains closed, casting a privacy bubble for added peace of mind. Before he could reach down and pull the covers over his niece like he had done so habitually for the ten straight years she had resided with him, his niece's eyes flew open and her hand shot out, reflexively wrapping around his invisible wrist.

Ever since Estella had recovered from the physical injuries she sustained that day in the alley, the girl had become a very light sleeper – one who was always on her guard.

"Who is there?" Estella asked, fear lacing her tone as her other hand shot out from under her pillow blindly stabbing her wand in the air. "Lumos."

It both pained and prided Severus to see his niece be so observant and cautious of her surroundings. He was pained because such vigilance marked an end to her innocence – no child should have to fear being taken in the night – but it prided him to know that she could handle herself.

"Uncle Sev, what are you doing here?" She asked finally, lowering her wand, but not relinquishing the grip on his wrist.

"How did you know it was me?" Severus asked, genuinely curious.

"Who else could get in here, using a invisibility potion?" Estella said analytically. "The rooms are well protected, and if you were someone with ill intent you would have stunned me before casting that privacy charm… which my Lumos is reflecting off of, by the way."

"You weren't supposed to wake up." Severus said lowly. "Since when do you sleep with a wand under your pillow?"

"Do I even have to answer that?" Estella shook her head, blinking with frustration when she could see no traces of her Uncle's presence. "I feel like I am going crazy, sitting here talking to myself!"

"Well go back to sleep, I cannot stay anyway." Her Uncle intoned his invisible hand gently pulling the blankets over her. "The potion will wear off momentarily and I intend to be away from this part of the school by then."

"You're even more paranoid than Moody, you know that, don't you?" Estella yawned sleepily, indulging her Uncle his desire to tuck her in; her heart warmed by the subtle gesture. "I'd say it was good to see you, but, well, I can't."

"Good night, Estella." Her Uncle said lightly. If she could see him, she would have been surprised by the smile that he had on his face. How he had missed tucking her in at night – even before she started Hogwarts and started staying over with her Godfather, she had increasingly 'outgrown' their nightly routine in the pursuit for independence.

"I love you too, Uncle Sev." The child called after him as he made to remove the privacy charm and pull aside the child's curtains once more.

He said nothing. He didn't have to say the words.

* * *

And so it came to be, like clockwork, that her Uncle would visit her in the night, twice a week. As the weeks wore on, however, Estella grew increasingly impatient with the situation; the girl longing to see his face and have a proper conversation with the man… one as they sat in the more conventional climate of the potions lab, brewing potions together, or as they sat in his teaching quarters, curled up in their respective armchairs in front of the fire. 

After his lone attempt at expressing himself in that letter she had first received all those weeks ago, the man's covert letters to her since had mainly inquired after her classes and reminded her to be on her guard. She was sick of having to write her letters to him in a confined period of time, unable to write in the privacy of her room or some other place that wasn't the headmaster's desk. She suspected, that her Uncle, just like she, was inwardly sceptical of the integrity of their correspondence. It wasn't that they didn't trust the Headmaster not to read their letters… well all right, maybe they didn't trust him… but it was definitely hard to write the things one wanted to write when under the watchful supervision of the old, meddlesome man.

"There's a vial of invisibility potion in my drawer." Estella said in greeting as she sensed the privacy charm go around her bed like clockwork.

"Estella, you should be asleep." Her Uncle's voice chastised her lightly. "No wonder you've been dozing off in class."

"You've been checking up on me!" Estella narrowed her eyes in the direction of her Uncle's voice.

"I have been keeping a keen eye on your progress, as I always have." Her Uncle revealed to her. "It is pleasing to see your Transfiguration average improve."

"Yeah, well Professor McGonagall knows Dad's innocent now, doesn't she?" Estella snorted. "She's actually been teaching me this year."

"I trust you have been behaving in class." Severus stated.

"Uncle Sev, save it for the letters." Estella sighed. "Can't we use this time to talk about something different?"

"Estella…" her Uncle faltered. "I don't come here to talk to you." He paused, and Estella could feel his weight sink into the side of her bed as he sat down. "As much as it is a inconvenience for us to be apart like this, I do not care to disrupt your sleep."

"But…" Estella pleaded.

"No. No buts." Severus warned his niece. "If I find you awake and waiting for me when I come on Friday it will be the last time I come to check on you."

"Goodnight, Uncle Sev." Estella said huffily, rolling over in her bed. She could tell from the tone of her Uncle's voice that he was serious.

A lingering touch to her shoulder and then her Uncle was gone, the tall man rising from her bed and wordlessly seeing to his exit.

"Uncle Sev?" Estella called out into the darkness, alerted only to her Uncle's continued presence when she heard him exhale softly. "Thank you for coming. I'll be asleep next time, I promise."

"Good night Estella." Her Uncle said in acknowledgement, his next action of opening her curtains signifying to her that the privacy charm was down and that no more words will be spoken.

* * *

"So, I am going to sneak into the Prefect's bathroom tonight and see if Cedric's hint will help solve the riddle." Harry explained to her later in that week. "You want to come?" 

"You want to bathe with me?" Estella teased. "I think we're a bit old for that, don't you?"

Harry blushed. "No, I, er, thought you could keep watch or something." He muttered, blushing when she gave him a look. "I didn't mean it that way, Merlin you're perverted."

"Harry, I'm only teasing you." She said, grinning victoriously. "I'd love to come, only I promised my Dad I'd not wander around by myself."

"So, I will come pick you up then… we'll go together, under my cloak." He said. "You can even hex Mrs Norris if we see her."

"Oh, so like a real date then." Estella said, straight faced, her resolve only cracking when she saw the horrified look on Harry's face. "Joking… again!" She assured him, ribbing him playfully. "Really, though… why do you want me to come with?"

Harry suddenly found his toes extremely interesting. "I thought it would be something cool that the two of us could share between us, you know, as friends." He explained. "Like I haven't really listened to your advice about things in the past… like brewing the Polyjuice being such a waste of time like it was." He paused. "I could really use your advice on this one."

"Well that's just typical." Estella shook her head. "The one time you show you're open to my ideas, I am not allowed to help you. Harry, you're supposed to solve the task clues by yourself."

"I know… I'm not asking for your help, just your moral support."

"Why, do you have a mortal fear of water or something?" Estella smirked.

"Estella, it's a Prefect's tub, not a ocean." Harry sighed exasperatedly. "Be serious."

"I can't be Sirius, that would just be, wrong." Estella giggled the last of her silliness out of her system. "Alright, what the heck, I'm feeling decidedly Gryffindorkish today so I'll say yes."

"Hey!" Harry hit her lightly on the arm in protest. "I'll tell your father that you were ragging out his house!"

"Well alright, and I am sure he'd love to hear how his godson is luring his daughter out into the hallways at night."

Harry paled… if there was one thing he'd known from the short amount of time he'd spend with his Godfather, it was how he took his daughter's safety very seriously.

"I'll meet you outside your common room at 11." He said. "Don't wait out in the hallway by yourself."

"Oh, yes Dad." Estella rolled her eyes, the date and time of the new generation of marauder's first adventure now set.

* * *

The visit to the Prefect's bathroom had proved very productive for Harry. True to what Cedric had hinted, the Egg's song was much more understandable in there. It did, of course, take prompting from Estella to try and listen to it under the water. 

"You'll need to put your head under, too." Estella yawned, shaking the awful ringing noise from the egg's wailing pitch as it previously had echoed off the room's stone walls.

Harry scowled at her defensively, but took a deep breath and submerged himself under the water's surface. From her perspective where she sat at the edge of the bath, Estella could hear the garbled noises of the obstinately loud egg, but could not make out any words. Moments later, a breathless Harry pulled his head out of the water.

"Hear it?" She asked him patiently.

"Yeah…'Come seek us where our voices sound…' and if I need persuading… hang on, I need to listen again…" Harry replied, not waiting for a response before ducking back under the water again.

A few more renditions later, and Harry had successfully memorised and recited the Egg's song to Estella.

_Come seek us where are voices sound,_

_We cannot sing above the ground,_

_And while you're searching, ponder this:_

_We've taken what you'll sorely miss,_

_An hour long you'll have to look,_

_And to recover what we took,_

_But past an hour – the prospect's black_

_Too late, it's gone, it won't come back._

"I've got to go and look for people who can't use their voices above the ground…" Harry said slowly. "Er… who could that be?"

"Slow, aren't you?" Estella smirked, her eyes darting directly to the portrait of the slumbering mermaid.

Following Estella's gaze, the task became suddenly clear to him. "That's it, isn't it?" said Harry excitedly. "The second task's to go and find the Merpeople in the lake and… and…"

Harry's voice trailed off, and the look of excitement on his face was overcome with a look of terror. Estella watched this change in her friend with curiosity.

"Harry, what's wrong?" Estella frowned.

"How am I supposed to breathe?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Um, Harry… magical world at our disposal." Estella gestured around them blindly. "I'm sure you can think of something."

"You know how, don't you?" Harry looked at her accusatorily.

"What do you suppose they're going to take?" Estella asked suddenly, swiftly changing the subject while Harry climbed out of the tub and spelled his boxers dry, pulling on his pyjamas when he was done. "D'you really think they'd not give it back if you failed the task?"

"I don't know." Harry gulped. "Come on, let's get out of here."

"What the heck?" Estella asked, her eyes flitting over the Marauder's Map in alarm as the pair made their way slowly back to their dorms under the cover of the restrictive invisibility cloak. "Harry, look!"

Harry followed Estella's finger to where it stabbed furiously at the spot on the map that depicted her Uncle's office. "What is Bartemius Crouch doing in my Uncle's office at 1am! Where is my Uncle?"

Shrugging, Harry, gestured silently in the direction of the dungeons and the pair set off to investigate.

They were halfway down a flight of stairs, however, when disaster struck. Harry's foot caught in the trick step, and he dropped the egg, sending it rolling down the stairs with thunderous thuds until it hit the wall opposite and burst into its inauspiciously loud song. Then, somewhere in the haste, Estella dropped the map; and before they could even go into damage control, a unmistakeable war cry broke out.

"PEEVES!" Argus Filch hurried into the scene of the crime, expecting to see his arch nemesis, the poltergeist, but finding nothing. Trapped by the confines of the invisibility cloak and the trick step that had a hold of Harry's foot, Estella and Harry could only watch on in abstract horror as the activated map fluttered innocently on the step below them, just out of reach; the names 'Estella Black' and 'Harry Potter' revealing their location to all who cared to look.

"Egg?" Filch said quietly, picking up the Champion's clue and closing it, stopping its song. "This is a Triwizard clue! This belongs to a school champion! Peeves, you've been stealing!"

Filch ripped back the tapestry below, and the two children saw his horrible pouchy face, and bulging, pale eyes staring blindly at the seemingly empty staircase.

"Hiding, are you?" he said softly. "I'm coming to get you, Peeves… you've gone and stolen a Triwizard clue, Peeves… Dumbledore'll have you out of here for this, you filthy pilfering poltergeist…"

To their continued dismay, Filch then began to climb the stairs, headed straight for them, his scrawny, dust-coloured cat at his heels. Mrs Norris' lamp-like eyes, so very like her master's, were fixed directly on the concealed children. While Harry pondered if cats were able to see through invisibility cloaks, Estella's eyes flashed as she pulled out her wand. Years of cavorting around the school under the protective jurisdiction of her Uncle, Estella had no reason to fear the grotesque caretaker and his feral cat; even if he were to catch them then and there, much like he was oh so close to doing.

"Filch? What's going on?"

Filch stopped a few steps short of the pair and turned around. At the foot of the stairs stood the only person who could make their situation worse – Snape. He was wearing a long grey nightshirt and he looked livid.

Estella was suddenly assaulted with the image of two sniffer dogs out on a hunt, and she had to stifle a giggle. Biting onto her fist, tears welled up in her eyes as her body wracked uncontrollably with mirth. Her Uncle would no doubt go absolutely spare if he found her out after dark – never mind that she was with Harry and what he would undoubtedly do to him – but she couldn't help but find the situation extremely funny. Perhaps it was the nerves of her pending doom that was causing it, Estella didn't know, but the sight of her uncle looking like he had just woken up and Filch being his comic book villain self and then Harry desperately trying to jerk his leg free, it was all too much. Behind her, Harry couldn't understand her humour, and as he wouldn't dare to even breathe at that moment of his imminent torture, he settled for pinching her back to her senses.

"It's Peeves, Professor." They could hear Filch whisper malevolently. "He threw this egg down the stairs."

Snape climbed the stairs quickly and stopped beside Filch. Behind her, Estella could hear Harry gritting his teeth, fearing the moment where, any minute now, either men would take a few extra steps up and bump into them. Estella, meanwhile, was biting her fist so hard she almost drew blood… for Merlin, how her father would laugh at the irony. Sure, he'd probably be mad that she was 'endangering' herself out of bed, but he'd admit that she'd found a loophole in his rules (by making sure she wasn't alone in the hallway) and find the situation as funny.

"Peeves?" said Snape softly, staring at the egg in Filch's hands. "But Peeves couldn't get into my office…"

"This egg was in your office, Professor?"

"Of course not," Snape snapped, "I heard banging and wailing…"

"Yes, Professor, that was the egg –"

"-I was coming to investigate –"

"-Peeves threw it, Professor –"

"-and when I passed my office, I saw that the torches were lit and a cupboard door was ajar! Somebody has been searching it!"

Estella stopped trembling in silent laughter and paled… her uncle's office had been broken into? Crouch had been in there without permission! Abandoning all cause for concealment, Estella made a move to reveal herself and tell her uncle who had been in his office. She was sure he would overlook their transgression if it meant recovering something of his that had been stolen or locating the intruder the man seemed intent on enlisting Filch's help in capturing. He did not seem too pleased at the prospect of having his private office infiltrated. Anticipating her movement, however, Harry placed a stabilising, warning hand on her shoulder, holding her back. Out of respect for the Gryffindor – who would most definitely face her uncle's wrath no matter which side of the coin the galleon fell, she kept mum.

_Clunk. Clunk. Clunk._

All eyes were averted to the approaching form of Professor Moody, whose wooden leg undeniably revealed his identity as he approached, leaning on his staff; his weathered old travel cloak thrown on over his nightshirt.

"Pyjama party, is it?" he growled up the stairs.

"Professor Snape and I heard noises, Professor," said Filch at once. "Peeves, the poltergeist, throwing things around as usual – and then Professor Snape discovered that someone had broken into his off-"

"Shut up!" Snape hissed to Filch, cutting the man off.

Professor Moody took a step closer to the foot of the stairs. Estella saw the man's magical eye travel over her uncle and the caretaker in turn before it, unmistakably, landed on them; causing his mouth to fall open in silent surprise and his one good eye to narrow questioningly. Both girl and boy under the cloak shivered.

"Did I hear that correctly, Snape?" The all-seeing Professor asked slowly. "Someone broke into your office?"

"It's unimportant." Snape said coolly.

"On the contrary," growled the old Auror, "it is very important. Who'd want to break into your office? Not hiding anything in there, are you?"

"You know I'm hiding nothing, Moody." Estella could barely hear her uncle's response for he was speaking so softly, in a dangerous tone she had long since learnt not to associate herself with. "as you've searched my office pretty thoroughly yourself."

Now that was news to Estella. Why would an Auror be searching her uncle's office?

"Auror's privilege, Snape." Professor Moody's face twisted into a smile. "Dumbledore told me to keep an eye –"

"Dumbledore happens to trust me," said Snape, through clenched teeth. Unbeknownst the persecuted Potions Master, his niece was but a few feet away glaring at the paranoid Defence teacher before them, gritting her own teeth in derision.

"Course Dumbledore trusts you," growled Moody. "He's a trusting man, isn't he? Believes in second chances. But me – I say there are spots that don't come off, Snape. Spots that never come off, d'you know what I mean?"

When Estella then saw her uncle convulsively grip his left forearm, a pained look on his face, Harry had to physically hold her back from hexing off the man's remaining leg. The said man having the audacity to laugh at her uncle's self consciousness and tell him to go to bed.

"You don't have the authority to send me anywhere!" Estella's uncle hissed, letting go of his arm defiantly. Inwardly, Estella knew he was referring to more than just the man's right to pack him off to bed. "I have as much right to prowl this school after dark as you do."

"Prowl away," said Moody, but his voice was still menacing. "I look forward to meeting you in a dark corridor some time… you've dropped something, by the way…"

Estella gasped at the veiled threat aimed at her Uncle, then withered sickeningly when she realised that the malevolent old man had turned her uncle's attention towards the Marauder's Map, making their discovery imminent. She gripped her wand compulsively – not to hex her Uncle who was steadfastly approaching, but to curse the hell out of the scheming defence teacher who was, at this moment, eying them carefully with his magical eye. Harry, meanwhile, was beside himself as they could see the comprehension dawn on the formidable Potions Master's face… he'd recognised the map.

Apparently, however, it seems Moody changed his mind about having the pair discovered, for he summoned the parchment to himself before Estella's uncle could get a proper grip on it and claimed it as his own, covering for them solicitously. He uncle, however, was not falling for it; his beady black eyes darting from the egg in Filch's hands, to the map in Moody's hand; his mind reaching its own conclusion.

"Potter." He said quietly, his tone full of spite. Unable to help herself, Estella was again struck down with a case of the sillies, her hand flying to her mouth once more to stop her laughter.

"Potter!" He snarled again, more convinced this time. "That egg is Potter's egg. That piece of parchment belongs to Potter. I have seen it before. I recognise it! Potter is here! Potter, in his Invisibility Cloak!"

The sight of her uncle then, stretching his hands out like a blind man, making his way up the stairs towards them, his face a mask of furious determination; was too much for Estella. Tears of silent laughter rolling down her cheeks, she didn't know if she was deliriously happy or obscenely frightened into turning it into a funny situation in order to survive it; but when she saw her uncle's nostrils flaring – actively sniffing them out just like her previous image had depicted – Harry had to clap his hand over her mouth and grab her around the waist to stop her falling forward and into the man in her mirth.

Eventually, Moody convinced Snape and Filch to leave, leaving the egg and map with him respectively. Once the echoing footsteps of the departing staff were no longer audible, Estella threw off the hot and stuffy Invisibility Cloak and yanked Harry out of his trick step, her face a mask of controlled fury, aimed at the ex-Auror who dare antagonise her uncle.

"Close shave, Potter… Black." Professor Moody regarded them closely, Estella in particular.

"Yes, well, we probably would have been right if someone hadn't alerted Professor Snape's attention to our location."

"Yes, yes. What is this thing?" Professor Moody asked, pulling out the Marauder's Map from his pocket and unfolding it. Swiftly, Estella had her wand drawn and had touched the map lightly, muttering the incantation to conceal it's contents from view.

"Ma…" Harry began, but Estella drowned him out.

"Mine." She said, holding her hand out for the map and giving Harry a reproachful look.

"Professor Snape seemed to think it belonged to Harry here." Professor Moody looked at her sternly, his magical eye trying to discern any information from the unyielding piece of parchment. "There's magic imbued in this parchment alright…"

"I didn't say there wasn't." Estella said haughtily. "With all due respect, Professor, it's not your concern."

"Estella!" Harry gaped at Estella openly, astonished at her subordination. "It's just a map, sir. Of the school."

"You didn't happen, by any chance, to see who broke into Snape's office, did you?"

"No-" Estella shook her head

"Yes." Harry said at the same time, ignoring the daggers Estella was giving him. "It was Mr Crouch."

"Crouch." He said, giving Estella a pointed look with his magical eye as though to reprimand her deceit. "That's very interesting."

"Why d'you reckon Mr Crouch wanted to look around Snape's office?" Harry asked shyly. Despite her anger at the boy for being so damn Gryffindor-ishly trusting, Estella's ears pricked up… her own curiosity piqued.

"Put it this way," Moody muttered after considering the question pensively, "they say old Mad-Eye's obsessed with catching Dark wizards… but Mad-Eye's nothing – nothing – compared to Barty Crouch."

Estella paled, an unbidden, fiercely loyal part of her wanted to leap to her uncle's defence and rip the man to pieces; but she held back, not knowing how much she was supposed to know about her uncle's past; let alone how much she was supposed to be seen to agree or disagree with it.

"Odd stuff's been happening lately, hasn't it?" Harry mused aloud. "The Dark Mark at the World Cup and the Death Eaters and everything…"

"Crouch could be thinking along those lines." The Professor said knowingly, his magical eye drifting to Estella. "There have been some funny rumours flying around lately. It's making a lot of people nervous, I reckon." A grim smile twisted in his lop-sided mouth as he looked directly at Estella, the defiant girl matching his intense stare with one of her own. "Oh, if there's one thing I hate," he muttered, trying to bait Estella, "it's a Death Eater who walked free… do you mind if I borrow this Map, Harry?"

Caught of guard, and extremely grateful for the Professor's help in concealing their presence earlier, the foolish Gryffindor agreed; his mind and eyes far too preoccupied trying to suss out what his well-versed Defence teacher had meant by all the references to Dark Wizards and Death Eaters whilst he had been looking at Estella. Was the man having a subtle dig at his Godfather, whom the wider Wizarding World at large still believed to be guilty, or was there something more to it than that?

Estella, meanwhile, was livid. Short of physically tackling it from her Professor and getting herself into worlds of trouble, she could not really protest. Perhaps it was just paranoia and suspicion fuelled by the man's thinly veiled comments about her Uncle's past that simply had her rubbed up the wrong way; but Estella couldn't shake the feeling of dread in her soul… the feeling of foreboding that suggested that the new guardian of the Marauder's Map really would be 'up to no good' with it. Even though they had not told the man the passwords for the Map, that the man now knew what it was, it was only a matter of time before he would crack it – that's if his magical eye didn't see its secrets already.

Once the unpredictable teacher had made his leave and the two students were left alone in the hallway, along which they were headed back to their respective dormitories, Estella let her god-brother have it. Shirking him off as he moved to cover her with half of the invisibility cloak, Estella stepped away.

"If you think I want to be in close quarters with you after what you just did, you have another thing coming!" Estella growled at him. "How could you tell him everything like that? How can you trust him so blindly? He's up to something, Harry, I just know it."

"Estella, it's Mad-Eye Moody! He's always up to something!" Harry sighed exasperatedly.

"What if my father is summoned to the school for another meeting with Dumbledore, huh?" Estella scolded him. "Moody will see him on the map, you daft Gryffindork! You didn't think of that, did you?"

"Oh, shite." Harry cursed, running a hand through his hair irritably. "I didn't think of that."

"That's right, Potter. You didn't think." Estella snapped, sounding altogether like a certain Potions Master. "Merlin you're just as infuriating as James sometimes, you know that? But by Merlin, neither Prongs, Moony or Padfoot would ever willingly have loaned a teacher their Map! Harry, aargh!"

"I'm sorry, all right!" Harry apologised, trotting to keep up with the girl as she stormed off. "You said I could have it… I didn't think that meant I had to consult you on what I wanted to do with it! Had I known it would have upset you so much I wouldn't have done it."

"Don't worry about it, Potter, it's done now, isn't it?" Estella sighed. "I hope for our sakes that I'm wrong on this, but something just tells me you made a big mistake."

"I'll get it back, alright? Come on, Estella, get back under the Invisibility Cloak, I will walk you back to your room… come on, before Filch comes and finds us." Harry pleaded with her desperately.

"Well yes, I guess we won't be able to see him coming, now, will we?" Estella said scathingly. "You go run back to your common room under your Cloak, Harry. I've been around this school long enough to get around without getting caught."

"But you can't be around the school by yourself… your Dad said…" Harry stammered.

"Oh, so now you're worried about the rules." Estella smirked, the extent of their conversation almost bringing them flush with the entrance of the Ravenclaw rooms anyway. "That's rich."

"Merlin, Estella… is it that time of the month or something?" Harry cried out, exasperated by her mood. He was promptly rewarded for his troubles by a light slap to his arm.

"I'll pretend you didn't say that, Harry." Estella admonished him tiredly. "Goodnight, Potter. Good luck with the riddle."

"Yeah… whatever. Goodnight." Harry replied distractedly, disappearing under his cloak once he had seen Estella enter her Common Room safely.

* * *

The next morning when Estella awoke, surprisingly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, her nocturnal grumbling at Harry was all but forgotten. So what, the infuriatingly rash Gryffindor had leant the map their father's had made to a teacher… it was not the end of the world. Said teacher could have had them strung up by the thumbs in Filch's office, but didn't; and Estella began to wonder that, maybe, just maybe, Prongs and Padfoot would have done the same thing. Course they probably would have been devising ways to steal it back come breakfast, but it was not in the Marauder's Code to let a good deed go unacknowledged; and she could not deny that Moody had helped them – even if it was just by keeping his mouth shut. Just to be sure, though, Estella woke up early and sent her father a letter detailing the night's adventure (for despite his initial concern for her, she knew he'd relish in knowledge that the new generation of Marauders were carrying on with the legacy), making sure to point out that she didn't break her promise to 'not be alone' in the school or 'go outside after dark'; so that he wouldn't get mad. But even if he did get angry at her, Estella knew that it would only be because he cared, and that he wouldn't be able to stay that way for too long. For one, he'd be laughing too hard at the sight of all those feared Hogwarts staffers in their pyjamas, just as she had been. Merlin, she knew she really ought not to encourage her father in poking fun at her Uncle, but well, she was sure if her Uncle could see himself and how he was screaming after Harry like a bloodhound on heat, he'd probably find it funny too – he would never admit it, of course, but how could you not find that performance hilarious? 

Bouncing into the Great Hall with Reg and John before the main breakfast had even began, Estella occupied herself listening to her walkman as she waited for the food to come out. Despite the fact that she had barely any sleep the night before, Estella felt absolutely wired, and could not help but to dance along down the aisles between tables and play drums on the bench top. While Reg and John had become accustomed to their exuberant housemate's candour that morning and nonchalantly went about their game of exploding snap, two curious black eyes observed her silently from the head table.

Seeing his niece look so happy gave Severus great, hidden, joy. That she appeared to have overcome the adversity that was keeping them apart and finding happiness with him necessarily out of her life, however, filled the paranoid Slytherin with a self-loathing sense of foreboding. Was his niece really happier without him? He couldn't think of a time he'd seen her that chirpy whilst in his exclusive company. His heart sighed.

Little did he know that he was one of the reasons for Estella's present mood…

"Hey, Harry!" Estella called out suddenly, waving over at the notorious boy-who-lived as he sleepily dragged his feet into the Great Hall with Hermione Granger by her side. Severus could only watch as the boy-he-loathed strutted over to his niece's table, the infuriatingly know-all Granger following.

"Here, listen to this!" Estella offered something to Harry – Severus couldn't quite see – but then realised what it was when the boy foolishly pulled it out of its socket. She had just offered him a headphone from her Muggle music box.

"Oh, this is never going to work." His niece shook her head and pulled out her wand, pointing it at the small device he was more intimately familiar with. "Sonorus."

Music was suddenly emanating from the Ravenclaw table, and Severus was remotely thankful that the child hadn't thought to exploit that particular spell on her Muggle headset while they had been co-habiting.

"Now, listen!" Severus could hear his niece urge the pair of Gryffindors, the dark-haired one in particular. Curious, Severus pricked his own ears.

_I heard you crying loud_

_All the way across town_

_You've been searching for_

_that someone and it's me_

_out on the prowl… (1)_

Severus could not hear anymore on account of the alarmed Gryffindor male lunging forward and switching the Muggle walkman off. The wheels in his mind turning, the cogs came into alignment when his eyes crossed paths with the amused look on his niece's face. Searching out Potter's face for any sign of confirmation, the wry Slytherin Housemaster's eyes narrowed into thin slits when he noted that the bespectacled boy was making a point not to look in his direction. But, just as soon as the tension was there, it was gone; and as Estella's Ravenclaw friends began talking to the group, Severus lost interest and returned to his coffee.

Meanwhile, down at the Ravenclaw table, Harry was turning deep shades of red.

"Estella!" He said, trying to avoid his Potions Master's gaze.

"Oh, so it reminded you too, then?" Estella smirked, giving her Uncle a furtive look.

"Reminded you of what, Harry?" Hermione asked, curious.

"Uh, nothing." Both Estella and Harry assured her.

"Just the noise the egg makes." Estella clarified when she could see the unyielding determination on the bushy-haired girl's face.

"Oh, yeah, Estella and I solved it, by the way." Harry said proudly. "It's a riddle."

"Really?" Hermione asked surprisedly, making a note to ask her friend when he and the Ravenclaw had chance to work on the clue together.

* * *

That night when Severus went to check up on his niece whilst doing his rounds, the cluey Slytherin had wanted to question the child about that morning's performance – but of course he had insisted to the child upon his last visit that the girl needed to be asleep this time. Of course, she probably planned it that way… sneaky little niece of a Slytherin that she was. 

Smirking lightly under the veil of invisibility, Severus pulled the curtain of his niece's bed aside and stepped into the privacy bubble he had erected. Making note of the deep, even tone of his niece's breathing, Severus leant over and brushed his ghostly lips on his niece's brow, relishing the act of tucking her in once more. Unbeknownst to his niece, while they lived together, he'd never gone a night without checking on her before he turned in. How he missed the simplicity of things back then… where there wasn't things like school and fathers and politics to keep them apart. All that time he had Estella to himself where he had ample opportunity to be himself, but didn't; and Severus was regretful. But, witnessing the child's dreamy smile at his presence; it assured the hardened man that he hadn't pushed her away entirely.

With one lingering look at his niece's peacefully resting form, Severus turned away only when he could feel the tingling sensation of the potion wearing off. Before he could step outside the privacy bubble, however, the keenly eared man heard something that made his blood freeze.

"Proooowwwwlll away." His niece's voice cut through the silence like a wand through a potion; the subsequent snort quickly turning into a snore as the child 'slumbered' on. Giving the child another careful look, all the pieces of the puzzle that had been bothering him ever since the events of the night previously fell into place. Estella had been out with Potter that night… and sure enough he was, at that moment, powerless to do anything about it – the potion was wearing off. Sweeping from the room indignantly, Severus' mind lingered on his niece's happiness. Yes… he decided. He would let her have this one. This once.

* * *

"Oh for goodness sake!" Estella shook her head in bemusement as she came across the Gryffindor trio buried in books the night before the second task. "Don't tell me you still haven't found a solution?" 

"Either help or shut up." Ron grumbled snappishly, the days of fruitless searching taking its toll. Feeling three sets of eyes glaring at him, he sobered slightly. "Sorry. Stress."

"Clearly." Estella smirked and sat down breezily next to Harry. "So, no luck then?"

"No, we found the answer a week ago, we just discovered how fun spending every waking minute in a library could be." Harry drawled sarcastically.

"Oh, so you're a bunch of misplaced Ravens then, are you?" Estella continued smirking. "well you're not doing a very good job of it, guys. Real Ravenclaws know where to look."

Hermione tore her bloodshot eyes from where they were poised barely an inch above an open copy of Olde and Forgotten Bewitchments and Charmes and regarded her with a withering glare, the normally so efficient girl feeling obviously affronted at the Library's failure to provide her with the answer she sought.

"I know what I should have done," said Harry, resting, face down, on Saucy Tricks for Tricky Sorts. "I should've learnt to be an Animagus like Sirius."

"Well then you're definitely reading the wrong book." Estella shook her head, nudging his head aside with her hand so she could inspect the book's title. "And working with the wrong timeframe."

Three heads thudded against the desk in frustration as the three Gryffindors groaned. As if they needed to be reminded of how little time they had left.

Smiling broadly now, Estella lifted Harry's heavy head so that he was sitting up straight again and looking at her with a look of annoyance.

"You know what I would have done?" Estella asked lightly, a sing-song quality to her voice.

"Oh well fine, be like then." Estella said, pulling away slightly and making to pick up her books and leave. "I won't tell you then that I owled Dad over a week ago and had him send some Gillyweed from my private stores and that Aquila should be back with it either tonight or tomorrow."

"Gillyweed?" Harry made a face. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Don't you guys pay any attention in Potions?" She asked incredulously. Taking in their blank looks, she sighed. "Evidently you don't listen in Herbology either."

"What's Gillyweed?" Ron asked confusedly, inwardly correlating the name's similarities with 'Ginny Weasley' and filing it away for later reference.

"It's an aquatic plant, dunderheads." Estella imitated her Uncle in a uncannily accurate fashion. "Harry, it will help you breathe underwater."

"Yes, but Estella… even if your owl returns with it tonight, that's hardly enough time to brew the potion…" Hermione gestured her hands wildly at the clock.

"Yes, but Hermione…" Estella mocked the know-not-quite-all Gryffindor good naturedly. "With all due respect I never said anything about brewing any sort of potion."

"What?" Harry and Ron looked at her impatiently.

"Gillyweed's magical properties are potent enough." Estella explained to them, rolling her eyes and wondering just what her Uncle spends his time teaching them. "Harry, all you have to do eat it… and it will help you."

"Really?" Harry asked, not wanting to believe it had all been that simple. Estella nodded. "Gee, Estella… you could have told me that I didn't have to go through all this stress!"

"But where would be the learning in that?" Estella scolded him lightly, rising from her chair to leave. "The school champions ARE supposed to be working independently, you know."

Hermione nodded with agreement. "Estella's right. Accepting our help Harry should only be counted as a last resort." She said… eying the clock. "And I'd say this figures as a last resort."

"Still…" Ron grumbled, rising from his seat and stretching wearily. "Could have ruddy well have been doing other stuff instead of…"

"Ah, just the two people we had been looking for." The Weasley twins appeared from behind a bookshelf, equal smiles of victory on their faces.

"Who, me and Estella?" Harry asked, mindful of Sirius' situation and misinterpreting the looks that the twins were giving them, well Estella.

"Nope, nice try though." Fred smirked.

"Merlin Harry, not everything revolves around you." George smiled mischievously.

"Then what are you here for?" Ron muttered, not in the mood for his brother's antics when his stomach was making enough racket to rival one of those Muggle mechanical birds that his father had always wanted to fly on.

"McGonagall wants to see the girls." Fred answered, looking at Estella and Hermione in turn.

"Mighty good stroke of luck that we found you both in the same place, it is." George said, relieved.

"We tried telling her that we didn't know where to find the young Miss Black." Fred lamented, hand dramatically held at his forehead, palm out.

"But she didn't listen!" George added, pledging his hand over his heart.

"She wouldn't listen." Fred continued, following suit.

"We tried to tell her, that we did." George rounded off their poetic little banter with a jolly-three step.

"Why is Professor McGonagall after Estella and myself?" Hermione asked, surprised.

"Dunno… she was looking a bit grim, though." Said Fred, sobering slightly.

"We're supposed to take you down to her office," said George.

"Well you'd better be off then." Harry said resignedly, "Thanks for your help, Estella."

"Don't worry about it." Estella shrugged as she brushed past the Hogwarts Champion, pausing to lean in close to his ears so only he could hear. "If Aquila doesn't get back in time, the password to my Uncle's stores is Jabawookie. You'll find the Gillyweed next to the Gnome skins on the third shelf along on the left."

"Merlin, I hope it doesn't come to that." Harry shivered, nodding his thanks.

"It shouldn't. Aquila is a good, fast Owl." Estella assured him. "And Dad'll come through, I know it. I labelled the Gillyweed jar myself, he won't have been able to miss it."

With that, Estella swept off after Hermione, Fred and George, leaving Harry and Ron alone in the library.

"What'd you think McGonagall wants with them?" Ron asked, thumbing his hand in the direction the girls had left.

"I don't know." Harry said, a horrible feeling like he had a golf ball wedged in his throat. "But I have a bad feeling about this."

* * *

All the staff were present in the Deputy Headmistress' office as the Tournament organisers explained the logistics of the following day's task. 

"Are you sure there won't be any risk to the children?" Professor Sinistra prattled worriedly. "What if one of the Champions takes longer than an hour…"

"Will the thing they'd sorely miss most really not come back?" Another worried Professor piped up.

"Ladies and Gentleman, please." Albus Dumbledore hushed his audience. "I assure you that measures are in place to ensure the safety of all involved. The Merpeople of the lake have been allies of this fair school since its inception."

"Yes, but why take children hostage?" Professor Flitwick stood on his chair, fighting to be heard. "Why not a favoured book or broomstick…"

"Not all students value books as highly as those in your house." Severus scowled boorishly from where he stood in the shadows, his arms crossed bodily across his chest. Really, he could not understand why the staff were getting so worked up about the latest terms of the tournaments. As if Dumbledore would allow anything to happen to any of his students! What's more, the little Champion-baits will all be under sleeping charms and unaware of their surroundings… Severus could hardly see the cause for concern.

Just then, the squabbling teachers were pulled into line by a subtle knock on the door.

"Ah," Said Professor McGonagall. "Our participants have arrived." Then, in a louder voice that could be heard outside the door, she beckoned. "Children, you may enter."

At that, the door opened to reveal a mixed bag of faces. Severus eyed them disinterestedly until one caught his eye. It was his niece. It was Estella.

"What's up?" The object of his thoughts spoke, breaking the silence that had inexplicably shrouded the room. "What…"

"We're what will be sorely missed, aren't we?" Hermione asked, looking to Professor Dumbledore for clarification.

"Well done, Miss Granger. You are right." Professor Dumbledore nodded slowly.

A horrible look of resignation befell Estella's features while the other two girls – Cho Chang and a little girl that must have been the little sister of one of the other Champions – looked at Hermione in confusion, the pair not being as familiar with the Champion's clue. Locking eyes with her Uncle and seeing how hard he was fighting for self control, Estella took a deep breath.

"Oh boy…"

**End Chapter: Secrets of the Twilight**

**(1) "When I Come Around" by Green Day**


	92. Murky Depths

Updated: Wednesday 22st June 2005

Disclaimer: Not mine, and anything recognisable is adapted from GOF

**Chapter Ninety Two: Murky Depths **

It was dark. Estella couldn't move… was she tied up? For some reason she was aware of her surroundings despite the fact that she was in a charmed sleep. Around her, a cluster of crude stone dwellings stood, their roofs stained with algae, and their windows heralding the greyish faces and dark green manes of the merpeople.

She was underwater.

Panicking, Estella wondered how she was able to breathe at all… but when she held her breath experimentally for as long as she could before inhaling again, she was relieved to find that her lungs weren't filling with the water that surrounded her.

Estella's memories of the night before were foggily coming back to her… her Uncle storming from the room suddenly, only to be reigned back in by Dumbledore several minutes later. The reclusive Potions Master had feigned indifference and a pressing need to go back to his potions, but Estella knew that he had been concerned for her and intended full well to let the Headmaster have it. In their absence, her own head of house had calmly explained to them the concepts of the charmed sleep, and how no harm would come to them. She specifically recalled the teachers assuring them all that they would not remember anything of their time under water and that they would wake up with there with their champion above the water with no ill effects.

So why was Estella aware of her surroundings? Was she dreaming? A tingling sensation around her neck drew her attention to the pendant that resided there… she must be seeing things through the pendant, she realised.

But why would the pendant feel the need to show her the underwater landscape? Was she in danger?

A whole crowd of Merpeople were floating in front of the cold stone boulder she and the other hostages were tied to. They were singing… words that would only be heard as a wail above the water… calling the Champions to them. On Estella's right, lolled Hermione, and on the other, Cho. Before Estella could discern the location of the last hostage as her pendant bobbed around like a head on a neck would, her vision was averted to the sight of Harry rapidly approaching, gills fluttering on either side of his neck and his hand and feet webbed.

Estella's mind began to despair when the merman refused Harry's request to borrow a spear. The ropes of weed tying herself and the others to the stone were thick, slimy and very strong – how on earth was Harry to cut through them? Thankfully, Harry located a jagged rock and proceeded to cut her free. As she fell loose of her bindings and floated above the lake's bottom, a little ways in front of the stone boulder she had been tethered to, however, Estella was alarmed to find Harry gone… trying to rescue the other hostages!

Unable to see what was happening behind her, Estella fought against the charmed sleep that rendered her motor skills useless and listened.

"You take your own hostage." A merman's voice said, most likely to Harry. "Leave the others…"

Estella heard Harry issue a garbled response… and even though she could not hear his words underwater, the tone alone suggested derision.

"Your task is to retrieve your own friend… leave the others…"

Harry made another bubbling noise of protest, and out of her peripheral vision, Estella could see Harry's hand gesturing.

Moments passed, Estella saw Cedric and Krum come and go…. What was Harry waiting for? As much as she trusted the noble Gryffindor and did not doubt that the Headmaster would not have permitted the task to go ahead if there was any real danger, Estella could not help but shake the growing feeling of dread. Then she realised what it was… her pendant was glowing red hot. The only thing that stopped it from burning right through her was the cooling temperature of the water and the anti-gravitational density that saw the lightweight gem floating against it's chain, not actually touching her neck.

'Harry!' She thought frantically. 'We got to get out of here!'

Finally, as though biding her silent call, Estella felt a tug on the edge of her robes and she was being lifted, pulled along towards the light of the water's surface. Only then, as they reached the atmosphere above, did the pendant stop glowing. Her hand reaching for it instinctively to make sure it was back on, Estella realised with a start that she was awake and in control of herself again, and that they were bobbing in the centre of the lake, the Merpeople with slimy green hair that gave even her Uncle a run for his money were swimming around them, smiling.

"C'mon," Harry said shortly, looking out of breath and rather sickly. "Help me with her, I don't think she can swim very well."

Estella shook the fog from her mind and drowned out the noise of the crowds that filled the stands on the sides of the lake. Nodding distractedly, she flexed her limbs experimentally and helped to pull Fleur's sister through the water, back towards the bank where the judges stood watching. Looking around at the twenty Merpeople that escorted them like a guard of honour, their voices no longer ghostly and eloquent as they screeched their song above water, Estella could have sworn she saw a mane of blonde amongst the dark algae green. When she blinked and looked again, though, it was gone, and the increasingly more at ease child convinced herself that it was but a play of light.

Up ahead, Estella could see Madame Pomfrey fussing over Hermione, Krum, Cedric and Cho, all of whom were wrapped in thick blankets. As inviting as the cocooning warmth of one of those blankets looked, Estella couldn't help but groan at the impending Nurse's ministration. Across from her, as he swam alongside holding the young Delacour's other arm, Harry gave her a sympathetic look: the accident-prone Gryffindor not liking the infirmary anymore than she.

Sure enough, Madame Pomfrey was inhumanly quick on her feet, wrapping her shivering form in a blanket so tightly that she could not move the moment she had stepped foot on dry land; leaving her no discourse for refusing the very hot potion that was promptly poured down her throat. Steam coming out of her ears as the potion had its desired effect, Estella shed the blanket at first opportunity and cast a drying charm on her clothes. Standing slightly aside from the crowds as they swarmed around the Champions and the judges, Estella fingered her cooling pendant warily, her eyes darting around.

Just what had happened down there in the lake? Why could she see what was happening? Why was her pendant burning red? Had someone untoward been in the water, out to sabotage the task? Her mind flashed back to the spot of blonde she saw bobbing in the water a ways away from them… surely not?

From her vantage point by the lake's edge, Estella could hear quite clearly, the headmaster's conference with the head of the merpeople. One of the words she could swear she could recognise being thrown back and forth was 'Portkey' – a word that was the same in any language, so it would seem. Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw the visibly aged man look out across the horizon, his pale blue eyes darkening in concern. The same look of foreboding carried on as the old man turned and scanned the crowd. Following his gaze, Estella sucked in a harsh breath and she saw her uncle, his features masked into a look of suppressed indignation before they sought her out. Questioning grey eyes then meeting steely black holes, Estella exhaled slowly when she saw a flicker of relief pass over her uncle's face. When he saw her holding onto her pendant meaningfully, the man visibly stiffened before nodding at the headmaster and sweeping away; the silent exchange going unnoticed between all but the three participants.

The headmaster was suddenly by her side, a weary hand on her shoulder.

"It seems we have underestimated our opponent." The headmaster spoke as in answer to a unspoken question. "But do not worry, child, you were perfectly safe."

Estella eyed the man carefully: it was almost as though he were speaking the words more to assure himself than anyone else.

"Headmaster…" she said hesitantly, not knowing how to elaborate. "I could see… while I was asleep."

"You did not awaken?" The headmaster regarded her for a moment, Estella shook her head.

"I couldn't move." She said. "Ask Harry, I don't think my eyes were open. My pendant…"

"Say no more child," the headmaster replied, holding up hand to halt her. "There are some things that even I cannot explain."

"Someone was in the lake, wasn't there?" Estella frowned, her eyes lingering on the horizon.

"You saw who it was?" The headmaster halted in his tracks and turned to face her fully.

"No, not really." Estella said, knotting her brow. "But I have a fair idea who it was." She paused, and the headmaster did not speak – the old man was evidently running through scenarios in his mind. "The Merpeople all have green hair, don't they?"

"Yes." The Headmaster nodded. "You saw one that did not?"

Estella nodded slowly. "Above the water. It could have been the sun, though."

"Possibly." The Headmaster frowned, considering things for a moment before continuing. "Estella, I must ask that you do not disclose what has just taken place to anyone."

"Why not?" Estella narrowed her eyes. "Will the Tournament be cancelled?"

"No, of course not child." The Headmaster informed her, the light returning to his aqua pupils as he acknowledged the sight of the approaching Ludo Bagman. "But now is not the time to alarm your fellow class members of a passing threat…" His voice trailed off. "Regretfully, not all the staff in residence at this time can be trusted."

At that moment, the industrious Mr Bagman was upon them. "Ah, Albus, there you are. I was wondering if we might set about awarding some points?"

"A conference before we give the marks, I should think." The old man said, gesturing to the Merpeople who were watching from the watery depths with interest. Ludo nodded and set off to huddle together the other judges.

Turning to Estella for a final time, he clasped a heavy hand on her shoulder once more. "Be on your guard, child." He said. "Continue as you have been and you shall be fine."

* * *

As hard as it was to keep things from those around her, Estella kept tight lipped when quizzed about what happened the morning of the second task. Whenever anyone asked, she'd simply say she was asleep like all of the other hostages, and did not become aware of her surroundings until she was at the water's surface. 

Evidently, Sirius' reply mail with Estella's supply of Gillyweed arrived timely, along with a note for her from her father explaining to her that he would be leaving London for a while, but that an Owl she sent him would always know where to find him. Curiously, he'd also asked after the dates for the next Hogsmeade visit, before ending with a promise that they would 'discuss' her nocturnal pastime at a later time; but that she ought to start traversing around the school with a camera if she wanted to create lasting memories.

Reading over her shoulder, Harry's posture slumped.

"You didn't…" He gulped. "You did!"

"Of course I did, Harry." Estella shook her head. "He doesn't get to have much fun these days, I thought it would cheer him up."

"Why can't he just send me a howler like everyone else?" Harry groaned, not looking forward to the time whereby Sirius would seek him out and lecture him on the dangers of cavorting around the school after dark with his daughter.

"Could be worse, Potter." Estella grinned slyly. "I could have told him you asked me to watch you bathe in the Prefect's bathroom."

Harry rested his head in his hands. "You're going to be the death of me, Estella."

"Relax, Harry. Dad won't be any more mad at you than he would be at me." Estella smiled. "And let me tell you, that won't be much… he's too much of a good sport."

"I sure hope so." Harry grumbled.

"What are you doing with your fingers?" Ron asked finally, looking up from the crossword in Hermione's Daily Prophet irritably, his patience having worn thin.

"What, this?" Estella flicked her eyes down to her fingers as though she was becoming consciously aware of drumming her fingers like so for the first time. "I'm playing piano."

"You play piano?" Hermione asked. "Oh, did you learn the Magical way? I've read about that technique…"

"Is there anything you don't read about, 'Mione?" Ron teased.

"If music has a magical component then I don't know why there's not a Music department at the school." Hermione frowned. "I used to learn piano… the Muggle way, for lack of knowing any other… and I find it very disappointing that the school doesn't offer classes here since there clearly is a magical market for it."

"Oh no, this isn't going to be like another campaign, like Spew?" Harry groaned.

"S.P.E.W, Harry, not Spew!" Hermione scowled. "And what is wrong for wanting to expand the school's array of extra-curricular? You boys would do the same if they took Quidditch away. They have a club for just about everything else, why not music too? Hmmm?"

"Well I guess they don't because a lot of students get privately tutored in their youth." Estella frowned. "Well those with magical families I mean… though you're right, they should offer that experience for the Muggleborn students."

"Yes!" Hermione said passionately, happy to have someone on the same page as her. "Just like we have a Muggle Studies class for students who don't perhaps know much about Muggles, they should have a Magical Societies class or something similar which embodies all the customs and cultural things like Magical Music lessons and so on."

"Wouldn't that be a bit exclusive, like for the Muggleborns only?" Estella frowned. "I think if the school did that the purists would turn around and demand their own Junior Death Eater club."

"There already is a Death Eater club." Ron snorted. "It's called Slytherin House."

Quick as a flash, Estella had leant across the table and slapped him across the face. "You take that back Ronald Weasley or I'll see to it that you get turned into a Weasel and locked in the Slytherin Common Room for all the house to see."

"Estella!" Harry scolded her, pulling her back from where she was leaning across the table and virtually spitting in Ron's face with each word she hissed.

"What? I'm sick of everyone pointing fingers at my Uncle's house!" Estella glared at Ron, who's face had gone as red as his hair. "You know it's probably because of attitudes like that which drives many Slytherins to ruin. Like why should they be good and virtuous when everyone already pegs them for being bad?"

"I was only kidding." Ron said unconvincingly, rubbing his cheek where a small handprint was forming.

"Could have fooled me." Estella scowled.

"Yes well," Ron said snappishly as he rose from his stool. "I happen to think Hermione is on to a good idea. Not all Magical families can afford such tuition, Estella!"

"What are you talking about, paying for tuition?" Estella made a face. "The magical arts are passed on from generation to generation. My Uncle taught me as his Aunt taught him and my mother before me. Isn't it the same in all Magical families?"

"No!" Ron hissed at her. "Not all families have massive estates and legacies such as that TO pass on! You're such a snob!"

"No I'm not!" Estella said defensively. "I just didn't know, alright? Everyone at the Wizarding school in Hogsmeade was pureblood and they were all like me, I assumed that's how we all were."

"Well, we're not." Ron grumbled.

"Kind of like how all Slytherins aren't bad." Estella pointed out.

"Fine. I'm sorry." Ron said reluctantly.

"And I apologise if my apparent naivety offended you." Estella offered. Ron and Harry stared at her in bewilderment for her choice of words.

"Snob." They both said, chortling into their goblets.

"Prat." Estella hissed back good-naturedly before turning aside and starting a intellectual conversation about Magical Music processes with Hermione.

* * *

It was mid-March by the time Sirius' response to the Hogsmeade weekend dates arrived. 

_Be at stile at stile at end of road out of Hogsmeade (past Dervish & Banges) at two o'clock Saturday afternoon. Bring as much food as you can._

Estella frowned. "He sounded rushed." She observed, not liking the condition of the parchment or her father's request for food one iota. "How come he needs food?"

"Perhaps he's gone into hiding again." Harry shrugged. "Don't worry about him, I'm sure he's fine… and if he's not, we'll pack him enough food, that he will be."

"I got to go." Estella said abruptly, rising from her chair in the library. "I'll meet you at the gates tomorrow at noon. Bring what you can, and I'll do the same."

Harry nodded mutely after the girl who shot out of the library before he could voice a reply.

The next day at noon Harry found Estella waiting impatiently by the gates, a large rucksack on her back.

"Where have you been? You weren't at breakfast…" Harry ran to meet her, equally eager to be seeing Sirius again.

"Kitchens." Estella said, gesturing to her pack. "And I snuck into the teacher's lounge and nabbed some spare teaching robes."

"Good thinking." Harry nodded, thinking of the first time he'd seen Sirius in the Shrieking Shack, barely nine months ago. "Wait a minute, how did you get into the Teacher's lounge?"

Estella smirked at him and tapped her nose, but said nothing.

Shaking his head after her in amazement, the pair set off from the gates, a weak silver of sun shining down on their backs. The weather was milder than it had been all year, and by the time they arrived in Hogsmeade, both of them had shed their cloaks. While Harry had pilfered a loaf of bread, some chicken and a flask of pumpkin juice from the lunch table, Estella's pack was burgeoning with non-perishable supplies her father could take with him.

As they walked through the main street of Hogsmeade, Estella unexpectedly pulled Harry into Gladrags Wizardwear to use him as a cover for buying an array of men's toiletries: razors and the like. When the creepy looking saleswoman had peered down her nose at the pair and suggested Harry was a bit young to be needing such amenities, Estella scowled at the woman and said something about not all the places one may need to shave was on one's face. The woman had positively paled and rung up their purchases, and it was not until they were outside that Harry ears went pink with embarrassment.

"You just had to say that, didn't you?" He growled.

"Say what, Harry? I could have just been saying you wanted to shave your head. It's not my fault everyone keeps drawing perverted conclusions." Estella smirked. "Come on, I don't want to be late."

It was half past one by the time they made their way past Dervish and Banges, and out towards the outskirts of town. The winding lane was leading them out into the wild countryside around Hogsmeade. The terrain was less densely populated, with larger properties and mountainous inclines. Turning a corner and spotting a stile at the end of the lane, Estella broke into a run; for there, standing on his hind legs, his front paws leaning on the fence, was a very large, shaggy black dog with a no less than a week's worth of newspapers in his mouth.

"Padfoot." Estella whispered reverently, dropping to her knees in front of the Animagus and accepting the slobbery newspapers that the canine dropped in her lap before knocking her down with his front paws and licking her face excitedly. It seems that the stile could not keep out animals with human minds.

"Ew… gerroff me, you dumb mut." Estella nuzzled the dog playfully, shoving him off her gently. "I don't want your fleas!"

The black dog barked indignantly before turning his nose up at her and padding over to Harry. Sniffing the boy's bag eagerly, Padfoot wagged his tail once and turned, leading them across a scrubby patch of ground at a steady trot.

"Come on Harry!" Estella said mockingly, her arms gesturing wildly. "I think Lassie wants us to follow!"

Catching on to the implicitly Muggle idiom, Harry smirked and followed, helping Estella climb the stile and up over the rocky surface.

Sirius led them to the very foot of the mountain, where the ground was covered with boulders and rocks. It was easy for him, with his four paws, but Harry and Estella – who was not yet used to balancing the featherweight, but bulky, sack on her back – were soon out of breath. Chivalrously, Harry took it in turns to carry the rucksack as they followed Sirius higher, up onto the mountain itself. For nearly half an hour they climbed a steep, winding and stony path, following Sirius' wagging tail, sweating in the sun, wondering when they would reach their destination.

"I feel like a bloody Von Trapp." Estella grumbled, humming a familiar tune. "You ever seen the movie Sound of Music, Harry?"

"Not all of it. I snuck bits of it when the Dursley's didn't notice I was in the room." Harry said tiredly. "I know what you mean though."

"Sing with me then?" Estella smirked.

"You've got to be kidding." Harry scowled manly-like.

"I am… but I got to do something to keep my mind off Padfoot's wagging tail." Estella intoned warningly, giving the attentive dog a sharp look as he turned to nudge them along. "How you can still be wagging the bloody thing when we've just climbed half of Everest is beyond me."

Padfoot stopped wagging his tail at the implied threat and bounded a few steps ahead, astounding the pair when he disappeared between a fissure of rocks. Squeezing into the hidden cave after him, Estella and Harry found themselves in a cool, dimly lit cavern. Tethered at the end of it, one end of its rope around a large rock, was Buckbeak. Estella and Harry immediately bowed before him, and the moment the majestic creature had returned the gesture, Estella was at his side, stroking the fine feathery down affectionately.

"Oi," A indignant voice croaked hoarsely through the darkness, a slightly hurt tone in his voice. "Can't you spare a bit of love for your old man?"

Estella turned to regard her father carefully, her eyes ghosting over his bedraggled frame and dirty grey robes sadly. "Oh, I thought I'd give you and Harry a moment. It's been longer since you saw him."

Sirius smiled, his arm draped around Harry's shoulder. "Yes well you were far too busy with your feathered friend to notice that Harry and I here had dispensed with the manly greetings, isn't that right, mate?" Harry nodded. "So c'mere you."

Estella smiled and fell into her father's arms. "Ugh, you stink, Dad." She said, screwing up her nose as she pulled away.

"Oh, it's nice to see you too." He said, ruffling her hair in response. "You see that, Harry? See how she treats her poor old man?"

"Yes, well, would it pain you to shower?" Estella frowned at him. "Why are you living like this? Is London not safe?"

"Too far away." Her father said distractedly. "Is that chicken I can smell?"

Harry pulled open his bag and handed over the bundle of chicken legs and bread.

"Thanks." Said Sirius, opening it, grabbing a drumstick, and sitting down on the cave floor to tearing off a large chunk with his teeth. "I've been living off rats mostly. Can't steal too much food from Hogsmeade; I'd draw attention to myself."

He grinned up at the kids, who returned the gesture only reluctantly.

"What are you doing here, Sirius?" Harry asked while Estella busied herself unpacking a hairbrush, some scissors and soap from her bag.

"Fulfilling my duty as guardian to a pair of marauding delinquents." Said Sirius, gnawing on the chicken bone in a very dog-like way. "Don't worry about me, I'm pretending to be a loveable stray."

Behind him, Estella smirked. "Well, you know what they say about loveable strays…" she said, brandishing a pair of scissors and a brush. "They're well taken care of."

"Estella, what are you doing?" Sirius twisted around to grab his daughter's wrist as she was about to run the brush through his hair.

"Cleaning you up, what does it look like?" Estella raised a brow at her father before shaking her hand free of his loose grip and waiting until he had resumed eating. "Then I thought I would paint your toenails and give you a facial."

Sirius choked on the Pumpkin Juice he had been drinking down greedily and looked to Harry for help.

"Don't look at me." Harry shrugged. "She just told me to meet her at the gates at noon. I have no idea what she's got in the bag of hers."

Growling softly, Sirius made no move to stop his daughter administering her ministrations as he tore into a chunk of bread.

"Don't worry, Dad." Estella said, untangling a particularly knotted matting of hair. "Just a bit of soap and some old, but clean robes. Was going to buy some new ones in the village but I thought that would raise too many questions."

"They're not your Uncle's old robes, are they?" Sirius made a face.

"No." Estella tapped him on the head lightly with the brush. "But they are clean and in your size, so you will wear them!"

"Yes, mam." Sirius replied assertively, relaxing under the soothing feeling of someone brushing his hair. In fact, if he tried to remember it clearly, the last person who had ever done so, was his wife.

"So why are you really here?" Estella asked, massaging a non-foaming, all-cleaning fragrant shampoo through his hair – one that was charmed to work in deserts where water was not readily available to rinse it out and one couldn't use their wand.

"I want to be on the spot. Your last letter… well, let's just say things are getting fishier. I've been stealing the paper every time someone throws one out, and by the looks of things, I'm not the only one who's getting worried." He nodded at the yellowing Daily Prophets on the cave floor, and Harry picked them up and unfolded them.

"What if they catch you? What if you're seen?" Harry asked fearfully, voicing Estella's own fears.

"You two, Dumbledore and your two Gryffindor friends, Harry, are the only ones around here who know I'm an Animagus." Said Sirius, shrugging, and continuing to devour another chicken leg. "So… speaking of school… I hope you two aren't getting into anymore trouble."

"What do you mean, any more?" Estella smirked. "We'd have to be caught at all to get into any trouble."

"Watch it you." Sirius said, waggling a finger at Estella, who was now sat before him pouring over the old newspaper headlines. "And you…" he said, stabbing a finger at Harry, who jerked slightly. "Take care of my daughter. I don't want to hear any news of either of you getting into any strife."

There was a pregnant pause.

"That's it?" Harry asked, surprised. "You're not going to hex me to Sunday because I encouraged Estella to go out after Curfew?"

Estella smirked. "I think he'd be disappointed if a son of James' didn't." She said, giving her father a knowing look. "And besides, he knows I was within the boundaries he set for me… and those are the only ones that matter, right?"

"Well you do have to abide by the Hogwarts rules as well, Estella." Sirius said almost reluctantly. "The teachers don't take too kindly to catching students breaking them."

"So what are you saying then?" Harry asked, confused by all the mixed messages he was getting.

"Don't get caught." Father and daughter recited, the latter of the pair pealing into laughter at the look on Harry's face.

"So how are you both going in your studies, hmm?" Sirius asked, lolling back on his elbows as he polished off the last drumstick, his stomach satisfactorily full of nutritious food. "Harry, you're not letting the Tournament distract you?"

"Er, no." Harry said, not used to anyone displaying any sort of parental-like interest in his studies.

"He didn't eat for two days before the second task!" Estella dobbed him in, looking at him pointedly.

"Yes, well, someone neglected to tell me that I was wasting all that time in the library looking for a solution!" Harry shot her a dirty look.

"That's not the point and you know it!" Estella scolded him. "You were supposed to solve it on your own, you know that! Besides, there were plenty more solutions to breathing under water without resorting to Gillyweed. Look what Cedric and Krum did!"

"Yes, but they're older. They've learnt that stuff!" Harry pouted.

"So. The point is, the answers were in the library. You just didn't know where to look!" Estella pointed out.

"Yeah, no thanks to you." Harry crossed his arms defiantly, openly glaring at the Ravenclaw.

"Oh, 'but you're older' Harry!" Estella mocked. "How was I supposed to know you wouldn't have known where to look? You never asked for my help! You just asked me if I knew."

"Isn't that the same thing?" Harry cried.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Sirius sat up, waving his hands around, a look of amusement on his face. "Is that what the Gillyweed was for?"

"Yep. Harry had to eat it." Estella nodded.

Sirius made a face. "Ugh, Harry. I can see why Estella wanted to see if you'd find another solution in the library first. Hardly appetising stuff."

"Oh it's not too bad." Estella shrugged, brushing off her father's alarmed look with a defiant stare. "What? Have you seen the size of the bathtubs at Hogwarts? They're even bigger when you're four!"

"Your uncle let you eat Gillyweed?" Sirius glared darkly, momentarily overlooking the fact that twelve years in her Uncle's care had done her no harm. "What if you wanted to get out of the bath? The gills would have suffocated you in the air!"

"I thought you didn't like Potions?" Estella grinned. "So you do like it!"

"No… no… James and I wanted to go check out the Mermaids in the lake one time." Sirius said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Merlin Harry, to think you got to do it in front of the whole school! That's really something!"

"You mean you knew Gillyweed would have helped me breathe underwater too?" Harry stared, open mouthed, at his Godfather.

Sirius nodded, and Harry continued to stare. "What? You never asked me for help! How was I supposed to know what the task was?"

Harry buried his head in his hands… all that time he could have spent flying… wasted!

Laughing at Harry's regret, Sirius turned his attention to his daughter and her academic pursuits.

"I suppose it'd be a stupid question asking how a Ravenclaw was doing in class…" He smirked. "Though how are you finding the new subjects? You're doing Arithmancy and Ancient Runes, aren't you?"

"Yep. I missed out on some work earlier in the year, but I've almost caught up." Estella smiled. "I'd read a few books on Ancient Runes when I was at school in Hogsmeade – I'd wanted to work out what the Runes outside the school said."

"Your mother told us what they were once, after one of our first Hogsmeade visits." Sirius said, a faraway look in his eyes. "She and Lily ran off to the library that very afternoon to consult their texts." He paused. "How are your other subjects? How is Transfiguration?"

"Well funnily enough, McGonagall is treating me a lot better now." Estella said sarcastically, a wry smirk on her face. "So either she didn't want an escaped convict on her case or Dumbledore told her of your innocence – I've not decided yet." She smiled more genuinely. "And I got to say, the pointers you gave me have been a big help too."

"That's good." Sirius said, his mood lightening at the picture of his old housemistress having to contend with a new generation of Potters and Blacks. "What about your other subjects?"

"Well Charms and Care of Magical Creatures are fine." Estella listed off the subjects on her fingers. "Potions is interesting with my new tutor…"

"New tutor?" Sirius looked directly at his daughter.

"Yeah, Uncle Sev kicked me out of his class." Estella smirked. "Said he didn't want to waste class time singling me out in class for appearance's sake or teaching me potions I already know when I could be learning how to make real potions."

"Gee, I wish he'd stop wasting time in class singling me out." Harry grumbled.

"Yes, but you know Harry hunting is his favourite pastime." Estella said, giving Harry a sympathetic look before her face brightened. "I bet he does it every night in his sleep… clutching around blindly and muttering about Invisibility Cloaks as paranoid as Moody."

All three smirked at the shared memory.

"I'm tempted to send the memory to Uncle Sev, anonymously." Estella giggled. "He'd go nuts not knowing who it was – there's no proof that it was us!"

"Well it's all right for you, he can't go near you." Harry grumbled. "He'll find some other excuse to give me detention."

"Well he'd love to give you a detention anyway, so why not give him a reason?" Estella reasoned. Harry shrugged. "Besides, I am sure if you spoke to Dumbledore or McGonagall they'd get you out of it because of the extra pressure the Tournament is putting you under."

"Well just the same, I'd rather not show up on Snape's radar." Harry sighed.

"Say Estella… your Uncle can't go near you, right?" Sirius asked, a foreign glint of malice in his eyes. Estella nodded slowly, and Sirius grinned evilly. "Excellent."

"Oh no… I will not be the instrument of your bidding!" Estella shook her head. "And don't even try to convince me. I've already shown Moody I can shake the Imperius Curse."

Sirius' face darkened. "A teacher used an unforgivable curse on you?" He said in deathly low tones. Both Harry and Estella nodded. "Alastor Moody?" Both children nodded again. "Well I've known Mad-Eye to be eccentric and rather paranoid…" His voice trailed off as he sighed. "I guess things have really changed around here for Dumbledore to condone that kind of curriculum."

"He's freaky though." Estella shuddered. "Especially with that magical eye of his. Makes my pendant tingle."

Sirius gave his daughter a searching look. "I don't want you alone with him." He said finally. "He was once a brilliant Auror, I'll give him that, but years of constant vigilance appear to have taken his toll."

"You think he's dangerous? That my pendant…" Estella trailed off.

"I trust that Dumbledore would not have appointed anyone who would pose a threat to the students." Sirius said affirmatively, unknowingly asserting Estella's own faith in the Headmaster's judgement. "Your pendant is probably reacting to your nerves around him, I don't really understand how it's supposed to work. That was always your mother's domain… but I don't want you to take it off under any circumstances." He sucked in a breath. "Alastor Moody was instrumental in Voldemort's first downfall. I'm sure Dumbledore has him at Hogwarts with good reason."

"First downfall?" Estella asked her father. "You think he's coming back?"

"I don't think he ever truly left." Sirius said truthfully, looking at Harry carefully.

Talk soon moved on to the Quidditch World Cup. Sirius ran a hand over his unshaven face, evidently thinking hard. "All these absences of Barty Crouch's… he goes to the trouble of making sure his house-elf saves him a seat at the Quidditch World Cup, but doesn't bother to turn up and watch. He works very hard to reinstate the Triwizard Tournament, and then stops coming to that too… it's not like Crouch. If he's ever taken a day off work because of illness before this, I'll eat Buckbeak."

"Do you know Crouch, then?" said Harry.

Sirius' face darkened. He suddenly looked as menacing as the night when Harry and Estella had seen him in the Shrieking Shack; back when they still thought him guilty of murder.

"Oh, I know Crouch alright." He said quietly, giving Estella an unreadable look. "He was the one who gave the order for me to be sent to Azkaban – without a trial."

Estella sucked in a gasp, her face rapidly darkening to mirror her father's. Harry's own fell.

Sirius then went on to detail Barty Crouch's rise through the ministry during the first war; how the man had fought fire with fire in a rather unorthodox way to combat Voldemort… even how he turned his back on his own son, leaving him in Azkaban, after the boy was discovered cavorting with Death Eaters.

"He gave his own son to the Dementors?" asked Harry quietly.

"That's right," said Sirius, and he didn't look remotely amused now. "I saw the Dementors bringing him in, watched them through the bars in my cell door. He can't have been more than nineteen. They took him into a cell near mine. He was screaming for his mother by nightfall. He went quiet after a few days, though… they all went quiet in the end… except when they shrieked in their sleep…"

For a moment, the deadened look in Sirius' eyes became more pronounced than ever, as though shutters had closed behind them. Seeing this, Estella curled up by her father's side, both in the act of giving and receiving comfort. Sirius wrapped an arm around her gratefully and pulled her to him, his eyes coming into focus once more as though he was drawing untold sustenance from the contact.

"So he's still in Azkaban?" Estella said.

"No," said Sirius dully. "No, he's not in there any more. He died about a year after they brought him in."

"He died?" Harry asked.

"He wasn't the only one." Sirius said bitterly. "Most go mad in there, and plenty stop eating in the end. They lose their will to live. You could always tell when a death was coming, because the Dementors could sense it, they got excited."

Estella shuddered violently, her breath shaky. Feeling his daughter's distress, he pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.

"It's all right, it's all over now." He assured her.

"No it's not. They could find you." Estella said fearfully, gazing up at him with waterlogged eyes. "I don't want you to go back there."

"I don't plan on it, kiddo." Sirius said, smiling slightly. "But even if something did happen to me…" he paused, taking the time to look pointedly at them both. "I would be alright, and you know why?"

"Why?" Harry and Estella asked simultaneously.

"Because of you both." Sirius said simply. "It brings me so much joy to see you there for each other… I don't have to worry as much any more."

A few moments later, while Harry was half way through his account of the second task, Estella began to fiddle with her pendant absently. Noticing the action, Sirius shifted uneasily and looked at his daughter.

"Something wrong?" He asked, eying the pendant for signs of danger.

"No, I'm just thinking." Estella sighed, looking out through the opening in the rock wall, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth nervously.

"About Hogsmeade?" Sirius prompted, placing a comforting hand on her back as he followed her gaze out unto the township below them.

"No." Estella said, looking at Harry squarely. "The second task."

"What about it?" Harry frowned. "You were asleep until the end…"

"Not quite…" Estella corrected him, going against Dumbledore's request by confiding in her father and god-brother her own perspective of the events that morning.

"So, did Albus actually tell you someone else was there?" Sirius asked, his brow knotting in concern.

"He didn't have to. He asked me if I saw who it was." Estella shrugged. "There was definitely someone there. I told you I heard them talking about a Portkey."

"But only staff members can create Portkeys that travel in or out of the school grounds!" Sirius was wild-eyed, as though searching out the hidden assailant that was staking out the school and threatening his family.

"I know that." Estella sighed. "He hinted at the fact that he couldn't trust all the staff who were presently residing at the school."

"You think that means he suspects one of the visiting teachers? From one of the other schools?" Harry scratched his head.

"I don't know." Estella huffed in frustration. "All I know is that there was someone in that lake who shouldn't have been there and my pendant was trying to warn me." She glowered at Harry. "And so there I am having an absolute heart attack because I couldn't wake my body up in order to move and there's Harry making conversation with the Merpeople like he was out for a casual swim!"

Harry opened his mouth to defend himself but Estella beat him to it. "Relax, Harry, you didn't know anything was amiss. You did a noble thing in ensuring the safety of the other hostages." She looked to her father, who nodded in agreement. "But still, I was freaking out!"

Sirius wrapped his arms around his daughter protectively. "Dumbledore would not have let anything happen to you." He assured his child, despite the cloud of fear and doubt that fogged his mind. "The Merpeople are friends of his… they would not have let whoever it was through."

"I know." Estella sighed. "Whomever it was seemed to get that impression because they didn't come anywhere near us."

"Still, that's a little close for comfort." Harry sighed apologetically. "And that Dumbledore didn't want to say anything…"

"Harry, don't read too much into it." Estella shook her head. "Dumbledore said it was a passing threat. I am sure he's taken proper precautions to prevent it from happening again, right Dad?" Sirius nodded. "See, so that's probably why he didn't want me freaking anyone else out with the news."

"So? You told us, didn't you?" Harry challenged.

"Yeah, but family's don't keep secrets from each other." Estella smiled winningly at Harry, a gesture that was soon echoed by man and boy before her.

They truly were a family.

After exchanging companionable conversation for an indeterminate period of time, Sirius heaved and enormous sigh and rubbed his shadowed eyes wearily… almost as though it was paining him to be the 'responsible one'.

"What's the time?" He asked regretfully. As much as he didn't want the children to leave, he knew that they must.

"It's half three." Estella sighed, knowing what her father would say next.

"You'd better get back to school." Sirius said, getting to his feet. "Now, listen…" he looked particularly hard at them both in turn. "I don't want either of you sneaking out of school to see me, all right? Just send notes to me here. I still want to hear about anything odd. But you're not to go leaving Hogwarts without permission. It would be an ideal opportunity for someone to attack."

"No one's actually tried to attack us!" Estella cried defensively.

But Sirius scowled at her. "I don't care… I'll breathe freely again when this Tournament's over, and that's not until June."

"Alright, Dad." Estella said, nodding reluctantly. "We'll take care of each other, I promise." Harry nodded solemnly in agreement and collected the empty flask and napkins from Sirius as they all stood to leave.

"Now, Dad…" Estella said authoritatively, gesturing the rucksack she was leaving behind. "There's some food and water in the bag, as well as a change of clothes and some soap. Don't worry about the bag being seen, just prop it against the stone wall and it will blend right in… it's Elvin cloth." She hugged him fiercely, deciding against telling the man it had once been a gift from her Uncle. "You take care of yourself. I'd much rather you be in London where Moony could take care of you in a real house, but I am glad to know you're near by."

"Me too." Harry said, also giving his Godfather a hug, albeit a little more awkwardly.

Sirius nodded appreciatively, his heart jubilant at the magnificent pair of children he had. "I'll walk to the edge of the village with you, see if I can scrounge another paper." He said. "Don't forget, if you're talking about me among yourselves, call me Snuffles, OK?"

The children nodded obediently and waited for the man to transform into the great black dog before they left the cave; walking back down the side of the mountain with him, across the boulder-strewn ground, back to the stile. Here he allowed each of them to pat him on his considerably cleaner head, before turning and setting off at a run around the outskirts of the village.

Making their way back into the Hogwarts grounds and into the Great Hall where the delicious smells of dinner wafted towards them, the pair sighed.

"Poor old Snuffles." Said Harry, trying out the unusual name on his tongue as he inhaled deeply. "Imagine having to live off rats!"

Estella sighed in agreement. Her father must be extremely worried about them to resort to living in a cave just to be near them.

**End Chapter: Murky Depths**


	93. Hit and Miss

Updated: Saturday 25th June 2005

Disclaimer: Not mine. Anything recognisable adapted from GOF

**Chapter Ninety-Three: Hit and Miss**

Estella climbed the stairs to Dumbledore's office. It was here that she met twice a week for her supplementary Potions lessons.

"Ah, good morning, child." Her wizened old Professor welcomed her, gesturing her to her chair in the small room off Dumbledore's main office. "Your Uncle has requested that we work on the following potion…"

"My Uncle? Have you heard from him?" Estella looked at the teacher hopefully, then eyed the purpose-built box by the door. "Do you mind if I…"

"Not at all, Miss Black." Her Professor nodded amicably. "I daresay your curiosity would only serve to distract you in class."

"Ah, you know me too well, sir." Estella smiled at the friendly, but firm, Potions Master as she forced herself to approach the letterbox at a languid pace. "I regret to say it's my Gryffindor heritage getting the best of me."

"So I've been told." Her Professor smiled.

"There's nothing here!" Estella's face fell. "And he hasn't picked up my last letter yet!"

"He's been extremely preoccupied lately." Her Professor informed her. "Many of the staff have."

"They're trying to find out who made the Portkey, aren't they?" Estella eyed her teacher carefully as she headed back towards her seat. "Well I suppose that's alright then."

"You know about the Portkey?" Her teacher asked her, seeing no need to deny it.

Estella nodded. "Obviously." She rolled her eyes, catching in her peripheral vision, a slight flash emanating from the letterbox. Wasting no time on pretences this time, Estella bolted back to the letter box, wrenching it open to find her letter gone, and a new letter in its place. "I don't understand…" she said, picking up the letter gingerly. "Wouldn't he have to write this in the Headmaster's office and then put it in here directly?"

"I suspect you have one of two of those correct." Her teacher responded from behind her. "However the Headmaster probably acknowledged that we were in a class and…"

Estella didn't get to hear what else her Potions tutor had to say, for she was already out the door and looking out into the hallway at the top of the spiral staircase; where there, as she had hoped, the door to the Headmaster's office opened to reveal her Uncle.

"Uncle Sev!" Estella cried out, capturing the man's attention.

Turning to face his niece, Severus assessed the situation. Deeming it an acceptable risk – since both of their presences within the Headmaster's tower were warranted at that moment – Severus nodded his head in acknowledgement. "Estella."

"It's good to see you again." Estella smiled at him, a glint in her eye.

Severus nodded to her in silent agreement, his attention turning to the child's tutor. "Professor, how is she progressing with the Potion?"

"We, er, haven't started yet." Estella answered, lowering her head. "The letterbox flashed…"

"…which you would not have seen had your eyes been to the front." Severus pointed out, his lips twitching. "Put that away, child. There will be plenty of time to engage in your correspondence while the Potion is simmering." He looked down the stairwell resignedly. "Morning break is over, I need to get to my class. It's good to see you looking well."

Estella tucked the letter into a pocket of her robes and nodded; the three of them going rigid when the tell-tale clunk of Professor Moody's wooden leg signalled the one-legged wizard alighting from the escalating staircase.

"What do we have here?" Moody's gruff voice leered at them. "Family reunion?"

"Hardly." Severus snapped, his eyes turning glacial as he gave a scathing look towards his niece.

"Ah, Severus, you're still here." Albus Dumbledore appeared from behind his office door. "Do not forget those amendments to the third year curriculum."

Severus nodded and scowled before sweeping away in a flourish of robes, not another word spoken. Dumbledore returned his attention to the other people in his audience.

"Ah, Alastor, what an unexpected pleasure to see you gracing my tower this fine morning…" He said, greeting the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher informally. "Now, Miss Black, is there anything I can help you with, or shall you return to your lesson?"

For Moody's benefit, Estella spoke. "No, it's alright." She said. "I was going to ask you a question about phoenix fire before classes started, but I can come back later. It's not relevant to today's lesson."

"Come and see me on your way out." The Headmaster smiled at her, his eye marvelling at her quick-thinking.

Estella nodded and let herself be guided back into the makeshift classroom behind her by her Professor's steering hand on her shoulder; but not before giving a defiant look at Moody as though to say: '_Constant vigilance, Professor – like to see you poke holes in that_'

"Extraordinary child." Estella could hear Professor Moody comment as she retreated. Before her Potions Master could close the door behind them, she could also hear Dumbledore's response. "She will be quite the force to be reckoned with in her day."

After that, she could hear no more. "Professor!" She sighed at her teacher. "I was listening to that!"

"I know you were, child." Her Professor regarded her with amusement. "But the sooner we can get this Potion on the boil, the sooner you can address your _written _work."

"Oh." Estella said, the anticipation returning to her slowly. "Oh! Yeah, right. What Potion are we making again?…"

Incidentally, her uncle's letter to her was full of the same old questions about her studies and behaviour in class. The man was hardly one for sentimental tidings of longing and love; and so she took the man's continued interest in her life as the sign that, despite the feigned appearance in public, he did care for her. Yet when her Uncle moved onto the topic of the second task, his tone changed dramatically. At first Estella's eyes burned with the derision he was expressing towards Harry – the man clearly holding the boy responsible for being a champion, and Estella the one he'd supposedly 'sorely miss' – but then his tone changed, and Estella could sense relief.

_I must insist that I did not approve of Minerva's decision to nominate you as the one whom Potter would 'sorely miss'. You have had more than your fair share of cold, dark places._

Estella smiled. There was no word about the suspected intruder or the Portkey, and Estella surmised that either her Uncle didn't know she knew already and didn't want to tell her, or he just didn't want to worry her – probably a bit of both. Her hand ran instinctively to her pendant when her Uncle joined her father in emphasising that she never take it off… it or the ring. Didn't either of them realise that despite their best efforts to the contrary, their insistence that she keep the pendant on her person was a clearer sign as any of their concern for her safety? Still, it made her feel safe to know that so many people worried after her and were going to lengths to protect her – her Uncle by keeping his distance in order to lessen the chance of her being used as a liability against him; and her father by hiding out in Hogsmeade to be nearby in case of emergency.

Her Godfather, too, had been writing to her regularly from his posting as a caretaker for Smeltings, the Muggle school that Harry's cousin apparently attended. Dumbledore had sent him there for purposes of keeping an eye on Harry's blood relative, just how another was apparently placed in a house near the Dursley home in Surrey. Inwardly, Estella wondered if Harry even knew the measures that were taken to ensure his safety… but since she didn't know enough of the specifics (asides from Remus working at his cousin's school) she decided not to say anything unless the boy asked. From the pictures Moony had sent her, he had used a Glamourie Charm to alter his appearance – he now looked more menacing than Hogwart's own caretaker. It was because of this new job that, between his duties and the time he already rostered off each month to transform, he had not been able to get up to Hogsmeade to visit.

Estella had barely finished writing back her correspondence to her Uncle when the Potion was ready for its next stages and she had to continue with her lesson. While many other students may feel under intense scrutiny at the idea of being a Professor's only student, Estella was more than used to it… and in fact, when it came to Potions, she was most accustomed to working in this way. She didn't know if it was because of the wider syllabus she was permitted to study when tutored privately, or because of the minimal distractions, but Estella would even go so far as to say that she preferred learning Potions that way. For unlike other subjects where a partner served a practical purpose, brewing potions with a partner more often than not had stagnating consequences, unless, on the rare occasion, that said partner was of equal competence. But even then, mistakes were more likely to happen… if the incident in Potions class with her Uncle in the past was anything to go by.

"You may leave early today, if you like." Her Professor caught her attention at last. "The Potion is ready for assessment, and your mind seems elsewhere."

"Sorry, Professor." Estella apologised. "I guess I did zone out, didn't I?"

"Don't apologise, child." Her Professor smiled. "I will simply need to inform your Uncle that we're simply not challenging you enough."

Estella groaned. The Potion she had just made was not entirely simple.

"I will see you next week." Her Professor bade farewell kindly, once the Potion was bottled and equipment cleaned. "Do not forget to see the Headmaster on your way out. He will be escorting you to lunch today."

* * *

When Estella walked into the Great Hall with the Headmaster several minutes later (she didn't really have a question about phoenix fire), her eyes eagerly sought out her friends. Though she now considered herself and Harry as being close, they still pretty much kept to their own circle of friends… only meeting occasionally at meal times or in the library. 

Sitting down at the Ravenclaw table between Elsie and Reginald, with John across from them, Estella settled into the familiar lunchtime banter. Flitting her eyes down the table in interest, Estella noticed Luna sitting by herself. Suddenly remembering what Luna had said that day on the train, about her father's magazine maintaining a theory of her own father's innocence; Estella excused herself from her friends to go and satisfy her building curiosity.

"Hi Luna." Estella said cheerfully, falling into a seat alongside the rather eccentric member of her dorm.

"Estella!" Luna exclaimed, her eyes widening in surprise as though she had just become aware of her classmate's return to the school. "It's good to see you! We've all missed you in Potions."

"I'm sure you have." Estella smiled. "Though you still get to see me in just about every other class again now."

"You were gone so long, Estella. People started to think you had died!" Luna said in hushed, conspiring tones. "But we know better, don't we?"

"Ah yes, what has your father's magazine been publishing lately?" Estella asked. "I am afraid I was unable to keep up with my subscription where I was."

For Christmas in their first year, Luna had bestowed upon her dorm-mates a subscription to The Quibbler. Predictably, the family-proud Raven needed no additional prompting to start rattling off specifics of the magazine's most recent headlines.

"…of course, since we maintain that your father was innocent, we knew you were not in any danger." Luna said matter-of-factly. "Though I admit not even my father had any idea where either of you were." She paused for a moment, then her face lit up. "Say, how would you like to give a personal account…"

"No." Estella said, kindly, but firmly. "It's not something I want to talk about. It's private." She smiled reassuringly. "But I would like to know more about your theories on my father's innocence."

"He is, isn't he?" Luna asked, her naturally wide eyes no longer belying her mood.

"I didn't say that." Estella said. "He's still a wanted fugitive… I just want to know why you think that shouldn't be the case."

Luna was just about to open her mouth and explain her father's theory when Aquila flew into the Great Hall in a graceful swoop, dropping a letter in Estella's lap. Recognising her father's hand, and the stationery as part of the set she had included in her rucksack, Estella made to excuse herself hurriedly.

"Sorry, Luna." Estella said, grabbing a salad roll to go and leaping from her chair. "I got to read this in private."

Luna nodded her understanding idly and returned to dishing up her lunch. With the explicit rule prohibiting her from traipsing the hallways alone, Estella could only retreat to an unoccupied end of the table to read the letter without interruption.

_Estella – The rules have changed. Promise me you won't leave your Common Room after curfew. Don't even go outdoors unless it is for a class or you are with a teacher – one you can trust. Harry will explain to you why…_

At this, Estella glanced up and over the Gryffindor table where Harry was sitting with his friends, almost visibly squirming in his own chair as he too read over a letter. She read on.

_I'm not trying to spoil your fun, sweetheart, I just want to make sure you are kept as safe as possible. If you're after something fun to do, feel free to torture your Uncle._

Estella snorted in amusement and cast her Uncle a look of consideration. Deciding that, in the end, taking advantage of her Uncle like that would hardly be very respectful, Estella returned her attention to the remainder of her letter.

_If you do not wish to do that, I understand. _

He wrote.

_But I do have one favour to ask of you. One that I really must insist upon. Help Harry prepare for the third task. His name wasn't put into the Goblet by accident, Estella, and so he needs to be prepared for anything. Moony tells me that Quidditch has afforded him good reflexes in Defence, but his knowledge of spells is confined to the class' curriculum. I've seen how much you read, kiddo, and I remember how cool headed you were that day in Hogsmeade. Help him through this, please? Keep me up to date on his progress, I will help you where I can._

_Love, Dad._

Estella spirited the letter away to a hidden pocket in her robes and stormed over to the Gryffindor table for some answers. What had happened to make her father so worried? Why did he insist on her not leaving her rooms after dark? It wasn't as though she enjoyed the dark and was at risk of making a habit of nocturnal wanderings. For all intensive purposes, the trip to the Prefect's bathroom was a once-off.

"Who's he, to lecture me about being out of bounds?" Estella could hear Harry say with indignation as she approached him from behind. "After all the stuff he did at school!"

"He's worried about you!" said Estella sharply, looming over him and letting her presence known. Snatching his letter away from him before he had a chance to put it away, she squeezed into a seat next to him and scanned the letter.

"No one's tried to attack me all year," said Harry when he had seen that Estella had finished reading her father's letter to him. "No one's done anything to me at all –"

"Except put your name in the Goblet of Fire," said Hermione. "And they must've done that for a reason, Harry. Snuffles is right. Maybe they've been biding their time. Maybe this is the task they're going to get you."

"Look," said Harry impatiently, "let's say Snuffles is right, and someone Stunned Krum to kidnap Crouch. Well, they would've been in the trees near us, wouldn't they? But they waited 'til I was out of the way until they acted, didn't they? So it doesn't look like I'm their target, does it?"

"Harry!" Estella cried out. "What were you thinking? Going off with Krum like that in the first place?"

"They couldn't have made it look like an accident if they'd murdered you in the forest!" said Hermione. "But if you die during a task –"

"They didn't care about attacking Krum, did they?" said Harry. "Why didn't they just polish me off at the same time? They could've made it look like Krum and I had a duel or something."

"Harry, I don't understand it either," said Hermione desperately. "I just know there are a lot of odd things going on, and I don't like it… Moody's right – Snuffles is right – you've got to get in training for the third task, straight away. And make sure you write back to Snuffles and promise him you're not going to go sneaking off alone again."

"Fine." Harry grumbled, his eyes meeting the fathomless grey eyes of his Godfather as he stared into the eyes of the man's daughter, as though she were a conduit. "Estella." He said suddenly. "How did you know to come over here? How did you know who that letter was from?"

Estella smiled knowingly and gestured towards the window where the post owls came and went. "You're not the only one who got a letter, Harry." Estella said. "Though by all definitions I am sure if my father could have used his wand without detection he'd have made yours a Howler."

"So what, you came over here to give me a piece of your mind?" Harry said impatiently. "Well take a number and get in line, can't you see I'm already copping it on all sides here?"

"Relax, Potter." Estella brushed off his curt tone. "I'm here to help you." Harry raised a brow at her. "I've been told you need to work on hexes and stuff like that for the next task."

"Snuffles asked you to help me, didn't he?" Harry sighed, a resigned look on his face.

Nodding, Estella pulled out her wand and toyed with it in her hands. "I think he seems to think that you have a problem with asking for people's assistance." She said levelly. "Though I would have offered anyway, if only to practice myself if nothing else." Harry gave her an incredulous look. "Come on, it'll be fun!"

Across from them, at the Slytherin table, Draco Malfoy watched the exchange with interest; his pale grey eyes glinting with hatred. Inwardly, he was conflicted… here was someone whom he had once considered a friend, consorting with his nemesis with a familiarity that burned at his irises like a naked flame. When his father had told him how his bona fide Black 'cousin' had returned from the past, part of Draco had been intrigued to find out what times were like back then… however, as his father went on to further inform him, the girl had done unspeakable things in defiance of their Dark Lord; aligning herself with the light under her father's petulant influence.

Her father.

Draco had known since the end of his third year when the supposedly dead Peter Pettigrew sought refuge at his family's expansive estate, that Sirius Black was innocent of all his charges. It amazed the morally inept blonde boy to no end that an altruistic, Muggle-loving society could be so blind as to condemn one of their own. Their hypocrisy amused him.

Why then, that a girl of such intellect would rather side with an evidently weaker opponent, was beyond the Slytherin's capacity of thought. Were they both, as children, so powerfully swayed by their respective father's influences? Could he begrudge her for falling victim to her father's whims? By all accounts she was still the same person… sharp witted, bright, independent – at least that's what he could still see of her from afar, for the girl went to great lengths to avoid him.

If the constant barrage of letters from his father were anything to go by, Draco thought, she had good reason.

Lucius Malfoy had been writing persistently ever since the girl's return to the school, trying to engineer his son into the position where he could best serve his interests in 'completing his business' with the Black child. The older Slytherin was incensed to learn from his son about his one encounter with the girl, alone in the hallway, in that it was a wasted opportunity to seek his ends. Ever since then, the onus had been on the young Malfoy heir to do his father's bidding – bringing the girl to him. But Draco was at a loss. Estella's own Uncle could not even get near the girl – the Headmaster having anticipated his housemaster's displeasure at his niece's 'betrayal' and taking the necessary steps to protect the child. If Severus Snape couldn't get anywhere near her, then how could his father expect Draco to? He'd dared to tell his father as such, but the man seemed to think that, as a student and established acquaintance of the teen, he would be able to slip in undetected. That Estella never went anywhere by herself anymore was not a deterrent for his father, the man somehow managing to have a piece of parchment charmed into a Portkey that would activate upon her touch no matter where she was within the warded School grounds.

"Use it to write her a letter." He wrote him earlier that day. "I want that girl in my dungeons by nightfall."

Draco did not know what to do. While he did not like that she had changed sides, she was still a pureblood. After being raised to hate and look down upon Mudbloods and Muggles, it contradicted his sense of class structure to turn on one of his own. He couldn't see the merit in condemning the girl for something she did to someone he himself had not even met, nor pledged an allegiance to. The said Dark Lord was weak and might never return to full power. It was not on a Malfoy's agenda to take such gambles without guaranteed promise of reward. Of course Draco suspected that his father was driven by a much more personal vendetta… the girl evidently have done something to err the proud Slytherin… but even then, Draco did not find that reason enough to be his father's instrument. Lucius Malfoy was hardly one to play fair, and if left to his wrath, Estella would stand no chance.

No matter what she did, and no matter how much Draco loathed the fact she consorted with the enemy; no pureblood – well, none of her breeding anyway, deserved that. It wasn't honourable. Staring down at the incriminating piece of blank parchment in his hand, Draco thereby made his decision.

"Incendio" He cast softly, watching the fine linen thread turn to ash on his plate. He'd write and tell his father that something must have happened to the owl… knowing full well that his father wouldn't put it past Dumbledore to intercept the girl's correspondence covertly. Hopefully his father would see reason and not punish him for it. Hopefully the points he scored in his father's good books after he'd alerted the older Malfoy of Estella's involvement in the second task would allow him this one indiscretion.

* * *

For the next few days Estella and the three Gryffindors spent all of their free time either in the library, looking up hexes, or else in empty classrooms, which they snuck into to practise. Harry was concentrating on the Stunning Spell, which he had never used before. The trouble was that practising it involved certain sacrifices on the other participant's parts. 

"Can't we kidnap Mrs Norris?" Ron suggested during Monday lunchtime, as he lay flat on his back in the middle of their Charms classroom, having just been Stunned and re-awoken by Harry for the fifth time in a row. Estella looked over at the redhead Gryffindor with a newfound appreciation, her eyes flashing mischievously in agreement.

"Let's Stun her for a bit." Estella suggested.

"Or you could use Dobby, Harry. I bet he'd do anything to help you. I'm not complaining or anything" – Ron got gingerly to his feet, rubbing his backside – "but I'm aching all over…"

"Well, you keep missing the cushions, don't you!" said Hermione impatiently, rearranging the pile of cushions they had used for the Banishing Spell, which Flitwick had left in a cabinet. "Just try and fall backwards!"

"Once you're Stunned, you can't aim too well, Hermione!" said Ron angrily. "Why don't you take a turn?"

"Well, I think Harry's got it now, anyway," said Hermione hastily. "And we don't have to worry about Disarming, because he's been able to do that for ages… I think we ought to start on some of these hexes this evening."

She looked down the list they had made in the library.

"I like the look of this one," she said, "this Impediment Jinx. Should slow down anything that's trying to attack you, Harry. We'll start with that one."

Estella nodded. "Now you've grasped the execution of these spells, I would like to test your duelling ability." She said. "Knowing the incantations is one thing… whether or not you can aim and pull them off under pressure – especially if you're on the defensive – is another bag of bludgers."

"Oh, yes, Professor Black." Harry teased, sobering under her patent Snape glare. "Merlin you're a face of contradictions, you know that?"

"You'll thank me one day, Harry." Estella said simply. "We duel tonight."

"You're on." Harry shook her hand in formal agreement.

"Prepare to meet thy doom." Estella said in a dramatic stage voice, smiling benevolently at the unsuspecting teen. Sure, Harry was light on his feet, but Estella knew more spells than he did and, recalling the words of the boy's grandfather, she was no longer going to hold back. Harry's life depended on it.

The bell rang. They hastily shoved the cushions back into Flitwick's cupboard, and slipped out of the classroom, going their separate ways.

"See you at dinner!" said Estella to the boys, waving over her shoulder as Hermione proceeded to accompany her to her next class, which was incidentally right next to the fourth year Arithmancy classroom.

They all should have been revising for their exams, which were set to be completed on the day of the final task, but true to the urgency in Sirius' tone, they were all equally committed to helping Harry prepare for the task.

"Don't worry about it," Hermione said shortly, when Harry pointed this out to them, and said he didn't mind practising on his own for a while. "At least we'll get top marks in Defence Against the Dark Arts, we'd never have found out about all these hexes in class."

"Good training for when we're all Aurors," said Ron excitedly, attempting the Impediment Jinx on a wasp that had buzzed into the room, and making it stop dead in mid-air.

"Besides, I really enjoy whipping your arse in duelling." Estella smirked, referring to the solid victory the Gryffindor-blooded Ravenclaw didn't hesitate to lord over the boy-who-lived.

"Yeah, but you didn't play fair!" Harry snorted indignantly. "You used spells I didn't know!"

"Oh well I apologise then." Estella said mockingly. "Next time when I duel a Dark Wizard I'll be sure to make sure to stay within the confines of what they know; as I am sure they will courteously do for me… not!"

"Estella's right, Harry." Hermione goaded him. "She beat you fair and square. In the very least you could have dodged those spells."

"I thought you were going to go easy on me!" Harry groaned, cracking his back at the memory of the impact with the wall.

"OK, so maybe I put a little too much power in that Disarming spell." Estella admitted, sheepishly. "But I was testing your shield." She turned serious. "You really have to work on those, though to your credit I wouldn't have beaten you if I hadn't already spent so much time studying your technique and learning how to read your intentions."

"How do you manage your shields?" Harry said. "You're so good at them…"

"Well I've had years more to practise, that's why… and I think my Pendant helps with shields" Estella shrugged. "Plus, I have disciplined mind control. You're too focused on the third task, Harry. You need to clear your mind."

"Merlin, Estella, you're beginning to sound like Trelawney!" said Ron, shaking his head.

"I don't mean it like that." Estella clarified. "Have you ever thought about learning how to occlude your mind, Harry? I have become so much more focused in my casting since I did."

"What's that? Can you teach me?" Harry asked, eager to try anything that would help him.

"Occlumency, Harry." Estella rolled her eyes. "I cannot teach you because you need to be licensed to do that I think - mind magic is a very fine art – but I have a book that might help you. I'll lend it to you on one provision."

"What's that?" Harry asked warily.

"Don't let anyone know you've got it." Estella said. "Books of its kind are in limited print. The book I'm referring to has been in the Snape family for generations."

"Snape gave it to you?" Harry paled, thinking of what said teacher would do to him if he was caught with such a heirloom.

"No." Estella drawled sarcastically. "The Easter Bunny did. Of course he gave it to me. How else was he to teach me Occlumency?"

"You'll loan me a book that… that… he gave you?" Harry stared at her like she had morphed an extra head.

"It won't bite, Harry. It's not one of Hagrid's texts." She sighed. "I trust you will take good care of it and return it once you've benefited from it."

"But why?" Harry was flabbergasted. "Why loan me a book that obviously means so much…"

"Because we're as good as family, Harry." Estella reminded him. "I've as much as said so before. What's more, you're my friend, and this will help you…" she smiled slightly. "And if you don't take care of it I know I will be fully capable of hexing you where the Four-Point Spell won't point… and if I'm not, my Uncle will surely avenge the book how he sees fit."

"Uh, well, thanks… I guess." Harry gulped. Ron was crimson red in sympathy, and Hermione looked like a dog without a bone – her keen bookish mind piquing in curiosity.

* * *

As the date of the third task loomed closer, Sirius began sending daily owls. Like the rest of them, he seemed to want to concentrate on getting Harry through the last task, before they concerned themselves with anything else. He reminded Harry in every letter that whatever might be going on outside the walls of Hogwarts was not Harry's responsibility, nor was it within his power to influence it. 

If Voldemort is really getting stronger again, my priority is to ensure your safety. He cannot hope to lay hands on you while you are under Dumbledore's protection, but all the same, take no risks: concentrate on getting through that maze safely, and then we can turn our attention to other matters.

As much as Estella tried to remind herself of the conversation she'd had with her father on the rooftop during one of their first nights together – when Sirius had assured her that Harry would never come between them and he'd always put her first. Lately she'd been feeling as though the man was asking after her less and less… he'd even stopped writing to her entirely – choosing instead to mention her in passing in Harry's letters. But even then everything centred around Harry, with her father using that space to remind her to teach Harry this or to do that or rather. Then, with Remus unable to get away from the 'mission' Dumbledore had sent him on – one that incidentally prevented him from sending too many Owls after the Muggle students began targeting the 'strange phenomenon' with rocks and the like – and her Uncle unable to visit her at night ever since she decided to tell him about Moody having the Marauder's Map; Estella felt increasingly alone.

This feeling of despondency was only made worse by the fact that her grief for her mother and the people she had come to know in the past was still largely ignored and unknown by those around her, yet it was still extremely real for her. At times when she felt her 'family' was neglecting her, the loss of those she had left in the past became all the more apparent.

While it comforted her to know that she was building between herself, Elsie and the boys, the same sort of confidence and camaraderie that Selina, Lily and the Marauders had enjoyed but not quite inducted her into; she still missed the company of the 1975 students. But while she felt more included and closer to her friends in this time, she feared losing them just as much, if not more so for in both instances, she was forced to keep secrets. With her mother and father's teenaged selves, it was the revelation that she was their daughter from the future… and with her Ravenclaw friends, it was the fact that her father was innocent and that she still cared very deeply for her Uncle. The only people Estella could be truly honest with were Harry and his two friends… but that was just it, they were his friends. She still felt like an outsider: they were older and had classes in common and were in the same house, different from hers.

Part of her wanted to tell Elsie, Reginald and John her secret, but as much as she wanted to test their loyalty and assure herself their integrity as her friends, there was simply too much at stake… both with maintaining her father's freedom and her uncle's status as well as protecting her friends from being targeted. They couldn't after all, hide what they did not know.

It was a matter of small irony that Estella acknowledged that she was actually more open and honest with the Ravenclaw trio before the events of the previous Summer. At the time they'd all assumed Sirius Black's guilt and accepted that, as Severus Snape's charge, she'd be prone to having 'friends' in Slytherin House. The clever Ravenclaws were open and willing to accept Estella at that time because all they saw was a bright student worthy of their house… and yet still, Estella had kept them at arm's length; spending a lot of her time with her Uncle (and later Godfather) and keeping up appearances with Draco. Now that she was actually open to her fellow Raven's companionship, Estella was suffocated by the myriad of lies and masks she had to hide behind. The period between the previous Summer and the New Year was a no-fly zone for discussion, her Uncle was supposed to despise her for being her father's daughter, and she was supposed to fear her father, the dangerous fugitive. Inquisitive though the Ravenclaws may be, Estella was thankful that they were not openly nosy or curious like Members of the other houses may have been in their stead. The bookish Ravens respected her boundaries and rolled with the waves, continuously forward in their thinking… but even then, Estella knew that they would be subjective to the truths she concealed.

Subsequently, Estella became quiet and withdrawn, alone in her grief and indecision. Ironically enough, everyone simply thought that she was concerned for Harry… worried about how he would fare – but nothing could be further from the truth. Estella had great faith in Harry, and was confident that they had done everything in their power to prepare him as best as they could. If anything she was sad because James wasn't there to see how well his son was doing.

On the morning of the third task, breakfast was a very noisy affair at all four of the House tables. It had become almost habit for Estella to dine with the Gryffindors now… the time she spent there taking her mind off of other things as she drilled the Gryffindor champion on duelling scenarios and outcomes as she had been taught. When yet another post owl from Sirius, this time a good luck card fashioned from Padfoot's paw and the parchment she'd given him; and again no word for her, Estella's heart sank to new depths. Deep down she knew her father hadn't forgotten about her… deep down she knew he was simply short on resources and time… deep down she knew that everyone was in their right mind to be worried first and foremost about the boy-who-may-not-live-much-longer, but Estella was still but a child… barely thirteen… and she couldn't help but hurt.

Suddenly feeling claustrophobic, Estella excused herself from the table.

"Don't you think someone should go with you if you leave the Great Hall?" Harry asked worriedly, mindful of Sirius' conditions.

"I'm sick of being around people, 24/7 Harry." Estella snapped. "Can I not even go to the bathroom in peace?"

"I can go with, if you like?" Hermione offered, putting down her napkin.

"Don't be ridiculous, Hermione. You're eating." Estella said, shaking her head. "Besides, if someone's daring enough to attack two school champions, no less, then what's to stop them from attacking two girls in a hallway?"

"Well that's that, then." Ron said, going to stand. "We all go."

"That wasn't my point, Ronald." Estella scowled. "I meant to say I am just as safe ducking out to the john by myself as I am taking a guard of honour. Now for goodness sake, just sit down and eat your goddamn breakfast and let me have some peace!"

"Estella's right." Harry said finally. "We're way too paranoid. It's broad daylight outside." He turned to Estella, but she was already gone.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, and the Gryffindors were still waiting for Estella to return. 

"Are you sure she just didn't head over to the Ravenclaw table?" Ron asked for the fifth time that minute. "She could have come and gone off with a bunch of them."

"No, I haven't seen her come back!" Harry scowled, his face lined with worry. "Besides, her friends are still sitting at the table, look!" He pointed jerkily. "Plus she knows I would worry, she would have come here first."

"Maybe she's just taking an extra long time in the bathrooms." Hermione said uncomfortably, her mind running over a plausible list of scenarios as to why the young Ravenclaw was taking so long. "Would you like me to go check on her?"

"Would you?" Harry asked, his face relaxing slightly. "We'll come with you… well, not inside… but you know…"

The search of the toilets surrounding the Great Hall proved fruitless.

"There's no sign of her in any of the cubicles." Hermione said as she exited from the girl's bathroom looking slightly pink from having barged in on a unsuspecting first year. "Have you asked the portraits?"

"They haven't seen her come this way either." Harry frowned. "And she would have had to have come this way if she wanted to go anywhere else inside the castle."

"What if she didn't want to go somewhere else inside the castle?" Ron asked forebodingly, his eyes flicking towards the entrance hall they had just walked through with the big castle door open wide, flooding the entrance way with beams of early summer sun.

"You don't think…" Hermione gasped, looking out the door. "Why would she lie about where she was going? Why would she go outside by herself?"

"Maybe she wanted to sneak a look at the maze for Harry." Ron shrugged, edging towards the doorway.

"Or maybe she wanted to sneak off and see Snuffles." Harry said, his jaw set in a line of concern.

"Oh Harry…" Hermione's eyes went wide. "Do you think she's run away?" She shook her head sadly. "We should have seen it coming, Harry… look at how quiet she's been lately."

"She hasn't been quiet, what are you talking about?" Harry snapped, his brow knotted. "She's been too busy drilling me on defence tactics."

"She's been redirecting her anxieties, Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, hitting her head as though a light had just gone off and it was too bright for her eyes. "I don't know why I didn't see it sooner!"

"See what, Hermione?" Ron and Harry called out after her as Hermione started to run towards the Owlery. "Where are you going?"

"The Owlery. We have to Owl Snuffles." Hermione said, urging the boys into action.

**

* * *

After sending the fastest owl they could find, the Gryffindors did not have to wait long for a reply. At first it looked as though the hastily scrawled note had returned to them unopened, but upon closer inspection, the back of their parchment was emblazoned with a single, muddy paw print. **

"Do you think that means he's on his way?" Ron asked, confused.

"Well it certainly looks like he didn't have time to dawdle." Hermione snapped. "Come on, let's go find Dumbledore."

Eerily enough, Professor Dumbledore was waiting for them at the foot of the spiral staircase, the gargoyle already moved aside as though in anticipation for their arrival.

"Quickly now, upstairs." Dumbledore said gravely. "Snuffles is waiting."

How on earth had Sirius gotten to the school so quickly… and undetected?

"Portkey." The all-knowing Headmaster had supplied in answer to their unasked question as he ushered them through his office door, sealing it behind him with a series of privacy charms that not even Moody's mad-eye could see through… marauder's map at his disposal or no.

When the threesome walked into Dumbledore's office to see Sirius sprawled on the floor frantically upending Estella's school trunk and rifling through it desperately, they looked to Dumbledore for answers.

"I think you should sit down." Was all he said. "Sirius, any luck?"

"None." Sirius said in a half-strangled sob. "Harry, why didn't you go straight to Dumbledore? Why did you leave her alone?"

"She said she was just going to the bathroom… I didn't see the harm…" Harry began awkwardly.

"Didn't see the harm? DIDN'T SEE THE HARM?" Sirius said erratically, his darkened grey eyes piercing into Harry's face as he waved his hands around hysterically. "Just like you didn't see the harm in walking through the Forbidden Forest with Krum? Harry!"

"Your Godfather is demonstrably upset, Harry." Dumbledore explained. "Yet I find I must also ask why you did not seek me out."

"I… I…" Harry stumbled over his words, feeling uncomfortably responsible for his Godfather's distress.

"We didn't realise she'd left the castle at first." Hermione explained. "It wasn't until the portraits in the entrance hall told us she hadn't gone into the castle and I couldn't find her in the bathroom anywhere…"

"We figured she'd snuck off to see you on a whim." Ron added. "We thought if we'd Owl you, you'd be able to intercept her faster than we could catch up…"

"Nonsense." Sirius said gruffly. "Estella knew not to try and see me. She knew the dangers."

"Then why else did she go out by herself then?" Harry said exasperatedly.

"She went to the lake." Sirius said thickly. "It was her mother's favourite place at Hogwarts too."

"But why would Estella go there alone when she knew the rules? Is she back?" Hermione was confused. They knew where she was but were acting like they didn't?

"Estella is a solitary creature by nature." Dumbledore observed. "Growing up an only child, she rather came to enjoy her own company. Miss Granger I am sure you can relate." Hermione nodded. "I daresay we were asking too much in insisting that the child align herself with other students at all times."

"She wanted to be left alone?" Ron cried. "That's it?"

Sirius meanwhile sunk back on his knees and leant against the armchair in defeat. "I should have known… I should have paid more attention," he said sadly, his hands fisting a handful of letters from himself that his daughter had cherished… hidden… in a secret compartment in her trunk. "I've been so caught up in the task… we've all been so caught up… I didn't write! Moony can't write her, and her Uncle has to pretend to hate her… how could I be so dense? My baby needed me and I wasn't there!"

"Sirius, Sirius, it will be alright." Harry said softly, coming to rest on his knees by his incoherent Godfather's side. "You said yourself she's down by the lake, right? So we just go and get her, right?"

"But she's not at the lake, Harry." Sirius said, strangling back a sob as he jerked away from his Godson's hesitant touch on his shoulder. "Not anymore." He added, his voice barely audibly.

"Well why aren't we out there looking for her then?" Harry reeled back on his heels, ready to pounce up and spring into action.

"Harry." Dumbledore said, looking older and wearier than Harry had ever seen him. "Harry, do sit down."

"Someone's taken her, haven't they?" Hermione said fearfully, her eyes wide.

Dumbledore sighed, his eyes droopy and sad, as he sat behind his desk and pulled a familiar length of wood from his drawer. It was Estella's wand.

Harry swallowed heavily and exchanged mortified looks with Hermione and Ron before looking over at Sirius, who had his head buried in his hands.

"What… what happened?" He managed hoarsely, his throat suddenly dry.

"Estella did indeed go to the lake, most likely for purposes of getting some time to herself." Dumbledore explained. "When I returned from breakfast and looked out my window, I could see the child conversing with a man."

Three heads shot up… a man? What man?

"… a man, through assistance of Polyjuice or glamour, she believed she knew." Dumbledore sighed. "A man I recognised and thought I knew."

"Who was it?" Harry said demandingly.

"Benson Ollerton." Dumbledore said heavily. "Like Estella must have done, I assumed the man was simply coming to pay me a visit."

Ron's face lit up as he recognised the name. "But how would Estella know a broom maker?"

"Because I introduced Mr Ollerton to her as a man that could be trusted." Dumbledore said regretfully, mindful that other than Harry and Sirius, the other two people in the room merely thought Estella had spent the first part of the academic year bonding with her father – in present time.

"With all due respect, sir, how do you know it wasn't Benson Ollerton who took her?" Hermione asked politely.

"I left my office to greet my old friend." Dumbledore said wearily. "And to escort Miss Black back inside. When I got there they were gone, leaving her wand." He paused. "On my way back to the castle, I encountered a house elf from the Ollerton estate, bearing news that Mr Ollerton had been attacked and was in a bad way. They warned me against the risk of an impostor and urged me to keep Estella away from them as the one who had attacked Mr Ollerton was asking questions about her. I didn't have the heart to tell the poor elf that their news was too little too late." He looked to Sirius sympathetically. "By the time I got back to my office, Sirius had received your owl and used his emergency Portkey to get here. We had been hoping Estella may have arranged the meeting with the false Mr Ollerton in advance and we'd have some sort of lead to go on…" He gestured to the trunk they'd sent house elves to retrieve.

Harry was positively livid. "He found a way to get to her then, through Ollerton." Harry said angrily, looking as though he were going to throw up. "Why aren't we doing anything about it? We can't just give up! We know full well who's got her!"

"Who would that be?" Ron asked dumbly.

"Malfoy." Sirius and Harry both spat.

"I assure you Sirius… Harry… that I have called in the assistance of a few old friends to help us recover Estella." Dumbledore assured them gently. "In the meantime, however, it would be imprudent to alert the school."

"What?" Harry roared. "A student goes missing and you want to continue like nothing happened? How am I supposed to do the task?"

"Yes, Dumbledore, tell me, is this another of your 'passing threats'?" Sirius intoned darkly, his head rising to make cool eye contact with the man.

"Benson Ollerton was supposed to be dead. He wasn't supposed to have a house elf that could warn us; nor was anyone to see Estella with the impostor by the lake." Dumbledore explained. "If we let it be known that we know Estella has been kidnapped and not simply run away, then we destroy any chance of surprise that we have."

Sirius grunted in reluctant agreement. "I don't like sitting here on my hands, Dumbledore. My daughter is out there… Merlin knows…" His voice trailed off brokenly. "I have to do something!"

"Keep yourself safe, Sirius." Dumbledore said. "Be there for Harry." He looked at Harry sadly. "I am afraid that there is no way of postponing the third task." He regarded both of them sternly. "I assure both of you that every effort has been made to secure Estella's safe return." He took a deep breath. "Children, if anyone asks where Miss Black is, simply say that she is sitting a Potions Exam in my office. I know this is a great burden that I am asking you to carry, but I do hope that you will rise to the occasion."

"I don't understand." Hermione frowned. "Estella is so cautious. Why would she trust the form of Benson Ollerton so much to let her guard down?"

"Yeah, doesn't he live out of the country?" Ron asked, ever a source on anything Quidditch of Broom related.

"Well… about that." Dumbledore said. "Harry, Sirius… I believe it's time we told them where Estella's really been…"

* * *

Estella's mouth fell open in surprise as she felt the innocent-looking wood beneath her hands tugged behind her navel and whirl her away in a flurry of colour. The broom was a Portkey! Coming to a harsh landing in a cool, dimly lit, sparsely furnished stonewalled room, Estella sucked in a steadying breath and rose to her feet warily. She was suddenly aware of her pendant and ring burning fiercely. 

"I had only five minutes before the blocking charm I cast on that jewel of yours wore off." The congenial voice of Mr Ollerton leered at her as his form appeared from the shadows, holding the broomstick. "Luckily I picked a good rouse with the broomstick idea. The real Benson Ollerton was quite helpful with information." The friendly smile Estella had associated with the business-weary broom-maker started to morph into a sneer she knew only too well. "Of course I had to curse him within an inch of his life to extract it."

Estella stumbled backwards, fumbling for her wand. "You!" She gasped, panic building inside when she realised she must have dropped her wand when the Portkey had activated.

"Is that anyway to greet an old friend?" Lucius Malfoy smiled malevolently, feigning a hurt look. "Whatever happened to calling me Uncle Lucius?"

Estella gasped in alarm when the Malfoy menace raised his hand and levelled his wand at her; the pendant around her neck not letting up on its warning.

"You were never my Uncle." Estella spat. "You're nothing but a brown nosing inbreed whose only choice of suitor was the bastard spawn that no self-respecting family would want to marry."

Lucius tightened his grip on his wand so much that his knuckles were opaque. "If you think that little pesky alarm of yours is burning painfully, you've seen nothing yet." He sneered warningly.

"Oh what, you're going to curse me?" Estella questioned haughtily. "Why make me drop my wand? Not man enough to duel me like a proper Wizard?"

"Enough!" Lucius roared, recognising Estella's goading as delay tactics that would give her opportunity to plot her next defensive move. Indeed, as he studied the child warily, he could see her eyes stealing furtive glances at her surroundings, as though measuring up places to run or escape to. He smiled victoriously – there was no way out except through him – "Let's see how long you manage to keep that smart mouth of yours, Hmmm?" He waved his wand at her. "Crucio!"

**End Chapter: Hit and Miss**


	94. Unexpected News

Updated Tuesday 28th June 2005

Disclaimer: Still not mine… still borrowing shamelessly from GOF.

Warning: Implications of violence later in chapter.

**Chapter Ninety Four: Unexpected News**

Remus stretched wearily, the ache of the last moon cycle exacerbated by the disguise he was inclined to assume. Knowing the danger that irregular owl traffic posed to his cover, Dumbledore had arranged for his Wolfsbane to be shipped to him by Muggle post, the magical potion disguised as a obscure natural health extract. Given the unappealing texture and pungent aroma of the potion, there was little risk of any curious Muggle student or postal worker sneaking a sample – though even if they did, it would do little more than heighten the drinker's mind, and make then temporarily impervious to pain.

Knowing then, that his Wolfsbane was brewed exclusively by Hogwarts' Potion Master, it boggled Remus as to why other select correspondence to and from the school could not be maintained this same way. Though he knew that everything came down to security – specifically that a innocuous bottle of liquid was easier to conceal than a explicit letter - it frustrated him to no ends that he was unable to communicate with his Goddaughter. He remembered only too well how distressing it had been for her to not only return from the past but leave her support network behind when she left for the new term at Hogwarts. That Sirius was now hiding in the outskirts of Hogsmeade gave him some measure of relief, but if his recent conversations with the preoccupied Animagus were anything to go by, his worries were warranted.

That Sirius hadn't given Estella the mirror was something Remus found difficult to come to terms with. Though he could appreciate the former Azkaban detainee's desire to keep in touch with the outside world, he would have thought that a man would choose to keep in contact with his daughter, over all else. He could only suppose that Sirius figured that his proximity to Hogwarts and the freedom to send his daughter letters was enough. On some level, Remus could even appreciate that Sirius had given him the mirror because both men needed a confidant to give each other perspective, but as the weeks wore on, Remus came to realise that, more than anything, Sirius merely craved the adult company. During the lonely nights in his caretaker's quarters, Remus couldn't deny that he had appreciated the like-minded banter with his old school friend, but if seeing the reflection of his best friend's face did anything, it reminded him just how much he missed his Goddaughter.

_Flashback_

"_So how's Estella?" Remus asked Sirius, and not for the first time that night. Sirius had been full of light when he had instigated that evening's conversation through the mirrors, and as Sirius was quick to confirm, it was because of Estella and Harry. _

"_Yeah, yeah, she's good, Moony." Sirius brushed him off distractedly, eager to get back to his recount. "But you'll never believe…"_

"_Sirius, will you listen to yourself?" Remus urged his friend back to lucidity. _

"…_mermaids, Moony! In front of the whole school!" Sirius continued, an awed look on his face. "Can you imagine what Prongs would say?"_

_Remus took a deep breath. James. It always came back to James. When it came to friendship, Remus knew he always came second to James, and it was moments like this that he appreciated just why he could never come close. That Sirius had been denied a proper grieving process during the time he spent in Azkaban became more apparent whenever the emotionally scarred man had most recently been in the company of his Godson; and while Remus was able to appreciate his friend's pain, his main concern was with what this preoccupation had on Estella. Unlike himself, she was too young to be expected to gauge her father's moods and anticipate his motives. She deserved undivided attention from her last surviving parent, yet whether Sirius realised it or not, the mere memory of James caused him to lose all objectivity whenever he was in the younger Potter's presence. _

"_I imagine James would slap you upside the head for depriving a Godfather of information about that adorable daughter of yours." Remus said with as much levity he could muster. He knew he needed to have a serious conversation with Sirius about things, but if he knew Sirius' emotional vulnerability as well as he thought, it was something he had to do face to face. _

"_Ah, Moony, Moony, Moony, Moony." The visage of Sirius' head shook slightly in the frame. "And to think before she was born I drove people nuts talking about my plans for her."_

"_I can only imagine." Remus said lightly, though his words held a double meaning in that he had been absent the formative months of Selina's pregnancy._

"_Oh." A sobered Sirius regarded him closely, before lapsing into silence. _

"_I didn't mean it like that, Padfoot." Remus flashed him a small smile of reassurance. He had, after all, been referring to Sirius' most recent habit of never shutting up about Harry and the spoils of the blasted tournament. "But if you don't give me an Estella fix, I can't be held accountable for my actions!"_

"_Merlin, Moony, just who is the proud papa, here?" Sirius smirked, a teasing look in his eyes. _

_Great, now he was deliberately going to hold out. _

"_She's fine, truly." Sirius relented, sensing the threat inherent in Remus' growl. "Merlin you look scary in that get up, Moony."_

"_Oh and you're looking just charming yourself." Remus snorted. "Honestly I'm surprised Estella didn't run a mile at the sight of you!"_

"_Well actually she ran straight to Buckbeak." Sirius pouted. "Then she told me how bad I smelt."_

"_That sounds about right. Doesn't mince her words, does she?" Remus chuckled heartedly. Trust Estella to keep her father grounded. "What's that you used to say? You know a girl loves you when they are honest with you?"_

"_Yeah and didn't that come back to bite me in the butt." Sirius grumbled, a smile playing at the edges of his mouth. _

"_So… how is she?" Remus prompted his friend for details. _

"_She's fine, I told you." Sirius shrugged. "Bright as a button in all her classes, just like her mother. Scored herself her own Potions tutor…"_

"_Wait, Severus threw her out of his class?" Remus interrupted. _

"_Yeah, something like that." Sirius shrugged, clearly not concerned with the separation between niece and Uncle. "He didn't want to keep up appearances in class. Worried it might damage her academic development or something."_

"_I'm sure there's more to it than that." Remus said. "I don't think you would particularly enjoy pretending to hate your child in public."_

_Remus could only take Sirius' silence as agreement. _

"_Her grades in Transfiguration are improving." Sirius said proudly, in a obvious attempt to change the subject. "…and you should see it when she and Harry are together! It's like they are two siblings who grew up together… just how it would have been…"_

"_Sirius…" Remus sighed, inwardly cursing the physical isolation his friend was enduring at such a moment._

"_I'm worried about her, Moony." Sirius sighed finally. "Someone came after her during the task…"_

_End Flashback_

Remus shook himself back to the present. It wasn't that Sirius was overlooking his daughter, than he was overlooking the fact that Remus was dependent on him for information. Of course Sirius still worried about his daughter's safety. He would be completely deranged not to worry after what had happened during the second task.

But what continued to disturb Remus was Sirius' habitual ability to turn a blind eye to Estella's emotional turmoil. It was as almost as though unless he was immediately confronted with his child's pain, he preferred to believe it didn't exist.

_Flashback_

"_Sirius, you saw how she was when she left for school…" Remus argued with his friend. "I can't communicate with her directly, Severus is keeping his distance to ensure her safety, and there's only so much you can do from Hogsmeade…"_

"_She has her friends with her, Moony." Sirius shrugged. "And she is throwing herself into helping Harry with preparing for the next task."_

"_Driving her to distraction is not going to stop…" Remus said. _

"_Well she hasn't said anything to me." Sirius assured his friend. "In fact, she hardly ever writes at all anymore." He mock-cried. "Face it Moony, she's outgrown us. She's growing up."_

_End Flashback_

Maybe Sirius was right. Maybe Estella was growing up, and becoming less and less reliant on them. Perhaps her time in the past had given her a measure of independence which now saw her confiding in her friends, instead of them. Maybe she had managed to adapt to the situation at hand in ways that he himself had not. From what Sirius had told him… repeatedly… Estella and Harry had grown close. Perhaps they were there for each other in an unprecedented way.

The foreboding feeling of redundancy made Remus sick to the stomach. He always knew that the time would come when Estella would grow up and rebuke the parental influences in her life, but he was so sure he wouldn't have to confront that for a few years yet. He was even more sure that, if anything, her time in the past would set things back, rather than accelerate the process. Then again, this wouldn't be the first time he had underestimated the child's resilience. All he had to do was think back to how quickly she had overlooked what the wolf had nearly done to her that night in embracing him again so soon afterwards to be reminded of her tenacity.

"What am I going to do with you?" Remus mused to himself as he played a solitary game of chess against himself, his eyes having drifted to a photo of the girl in question. Never before had he ever doubted his relationship with his Goddaughter like this, and he could only reassure himself that it was because of their forced separation that he allowed his mind to run away with him so. Sirius, after all, was in a much better position to observe the child, and perhaps he was selling the Animagus short to assume that he would be too preoccupied with helping Harry through the task to truly pay his own daughter mind. Perhaps Sirius didn't fill his ears with indulgent tales of Estella's progress because there simply wasn't anything to tell. Loathe as he was to admit it, Estella wasn't the centre of the universe.

It was the constant yo-yoing of perspectives that was driving him insane. He no longer knew what to think, and the fact he felt increasingly unable to trust his own instincts, unnerved him.

"I've got to get out of this place." He scowled at his chess board, a frustrated hand movement sending the pieces flying.

Leaving the confining walls of his pokey quarters in favour of prowling the gaudy halls of Smeltings, Remus understood only too well that his Lycanthropy limited his prospects. That he owed his education to the accommodating understanding of Albus Dumbledore, indebted him to accept this position. But as he watched over the grotesque form of Harry's Muggle cousin, any misconception that the nephew of his old school friend would be worth the separation from his Goddaughter was quickly thrown out the window. Remus didn't know what he had been expecting, but the arrogant gait of Dudley Dursley was about as far removed as anything he had ever associated with Evans blood.

Lily had, of course, regaled him with tales of her wicked sister Petunia and her vile brother-in-law to be. Though he'd never thought of Lily to be one to exaggerate, he didn't think a sister could truly be all that bad. If Petunia's son was anything to go by, however, it seems Lily's descriptions of her sister were fuelled by more than one-eyed sibling rivalry. How Harry had then emerged from such an environment remarkably unpretentious and affable, amazed Remus… though he had a creeping feeling that the practiced ease by which Dudley targeted the smaller, defenceless students had something to do with it.

But could two parents be so oblivious to the delinquent behaviour of their child to overlook the mistreatment of their own nephew? Then again, thinking of how Lily told him Petunia treated her, Remus shuddered to think of what example the elder Dursleys set for their obtuse son.

The only satisfaction Remus got in the situation he was in, was in witnessing the prevailing role reversal that was rocking through the Smeltings upper years. While Dudley still terrorised the smaller students, several students who had transferred to the school to do the Muggle equivalent of their NEWTs were older and surlier than the pompous Dursley kingpin, and they were making it their mission to take the reigning school bully down a peg or two. It was shaping up to be a turf war worthy of Slytherin house, and while Remus was quick to save some lowly first year from Dudley's meaty fists, he couldn't help but let the older boys get a few swings in before he ever came to the podgy Muggle's rescue.

His job, after all, was to observe the school and ensure the boy's safety from _magical_ attack. He knew first hand from his rough and tumbles with his Animagus friends in the forbidden forest that a little shiner never hurt anyone, except maybe one's pride. It was while in this state of mind that Remus' late night prowling of the school's unremarkable grounds led him to the scene of the object of his ire being under attack from his foes. After indulging the older boys their fun for a few moments, Remus intervened only when they had drawn blood.

"Jud you waid undil my fadder hears of dis!" The pig-faced blonde boy snarled at him nasally, his head held high as his clumsy fingers struggled to stem the blood flowing from his nose.

"Why, you're welcome, Dursley." Remus drawled sarcastically, reminded, all too ironically, of a oversized Draco Malfoy.

"You dood by and watdhed dem! I daw you!" Dudley glared at him defiantly.

"So what if I did?" Remus snarled back, thoroughly enjoying his role as the snarky caretaker, and getting a whole new appreciation for the smug satisfaction that Severus must get from his own role. Perhaps it wasn't fair to redirect his own anxieties and frustrations about not being able to see his Goddaughter on the unsuspecting students, but they weren't exactly endearing. A small part of him was even unafraid to admit that he hadn't had so much fun in years.

"I dew it!" Dudley protested, stamping his stubby little foot.

"Don't talk, Dursley, you're making a mockery of yourself." Remus' lips twitched as he took in the dishevelled state of the repulsive boy before him. What Harry would do to see this.

"Well? Are you gonna fed the nurd or am I gonna bleed do death?" Dudley scowled impatiently.

"Why would I wake up the nurse from her well earned rest? You shouldn't have been out of bed." Remus shrugged nonchalantly as he began to walk away. "Goodnight Mr Dursley."

"No! Waid!" Dudley stumbled after him. "I can'd go do bed like dis! I won'd be able do breed"

"Your parents haven't given you the talk yet?" Remus leered at him teasingly, one eyebrow raised.

"Whad?" Dudley looked at him, clueless.

"If you require assistance, Dursley, I am afraid you are going to have to ask for it." Remus smiled smugly. "I am caretaker of the school property. I have already exceeded my obligation by saving you from further injury. Now if you will excuse me…"

"If you don't help me, my fadder will have your job!" Dudley growled angrily, his beady little eyes glinting.

"Oh really?" Remus chuckled. "I didn't think a man like '_your father_' would want my job."

"Shuddup." Dudley fumed.

"Now, now, Dursley, that's no way to get that nose fixed." Remus wagged his finger tauntingly. "Didn't your mother teach you any manners?"

"Leab my mudder out of dis!" Dudley rounded on him defensively, the demanding boy fast running out of options – clearly he was used to getting what he wanted by use of threats and intimidation. Seeing that Remus was unaffected and walking away again, he relented. "Plead?" He said quietly, as though his bloody nose was not the only thing giving him difficulty in saying the word.

"Follow me, Dursley." Remus said without turning around, save revealing the satisfied smirk on his face.

And so that was how Dudley Dursley ended up in the quarters of one Remus Lupin.

"Who's dat?" Dudley stabbed an overfed finger in the direction of a photo. It was a candid moment between Godfather and Goddaughter, and, as one of Remus' favourites, was one of the few he had transformed into a Muggle print, stilling the image and transforming his depicted self to resemble his disguised form.

Remus looked up from his Muggle first aid kit, struggling to conceal his confusion about what was what. Just because he had integrated himself into Muggle society, there were still certain eccentricities he found foreign.

"None of your business, Dursley." Remus growled protectively.

"Why? She cannot be yours." Dudley sniggered, though it came out more like a gurgle in his present state. "She's far bedder looking than you."

"And far better than you, period." Remus curled his lip in a sneer. "Though if you insist on knowing, she is my Goddaughter."

"Who wood made you a Godfadder?" Dudley sneered back at him obstinately, and Remus took the opportunity to be none too gentle with his ministrations. "Ow, dat hurd!"

"Good." Remus said lowly, in a tone that even a stranger would know not to mess with. "I don't tolerate people undermining my friends. I suggest you quit while you still have a nose."

"Oday, oday!" Dudley relented, visibly starting at the dangerous look in the mysterious caretaker's eyes.

They were interrupted from further discussion, however, by an old man's voice emanating from a piece of reflective glass.

* * *

It was a lot of information for the two Gryffindors to take in all at once. 

"So, she was like, in the past?" Ron's eyes were wide as saucers. "Wicked!"

"I didn't realise a time turner could initiate travel over such long periods." Hermione frowned.

"And say what, she did what with those brooms?" Ron's mind drifted to the highlight of the conversation. "A Firebolt? Really? D'you think maybe Malfoy only wanted her to charm his broom… ow! Hermione!"

"Children, children, please." Albus rose from his seat wearily and steadied his hands at the children before him. "I am sure Estella or myself will only be too happy to answer your questions upon her return, but as I am sure you will agree we have far more pressing matters to attend to at present time."

"Of course, Headmaster." Hermione chastised herself lightly. "If there's anything we can do…"

"Yes, anything." Ron nodded eagerly in agreement, rubbing his side distractedly from where Hermione had poked him with her wand.

"I was hoping you would ask that." Albus smiled slightly, though for once, the smile did not reach his eyes. "You will be doing the school a great service if you would take Harry and help him prepare for the next task. The timing of this situation is unfortunate, but it will not pay for our young friend here to be unduly distracted."

"Headmaster…" Harry spoke up. "If we had a time turner…"

"Yes, Albus, a time turner!" Sirius jumped up and clapped his hands together as though everything had been solved.

"I am afraid it is not that easy." Albus frowned. "I do not have a time turner on hand, and the Ministry will not relinquish one without due cause. The application process alone takes…"

"Surely there's a way!" Sirius protested.

"I'm afraid not, dear boy." Albus shook his head sadly. "Even if we did have one, who would use it? All in this room were present with Estella in the Great Hall – you would be seen in two places at once! If not by the whole school, by Estella herself."

"I wasn't there." Sirius said resolutely.

"You cannot be seen at all, Sirius. There are eyes at Hogwarts that even I cannot account for." Albus said gravely. "Besides we just do not have a time turner."

"What can we do, then?" Sirius kicked the leg of the coffee table in front of him in frustration and tore at his hair.

"Well right now I advise that the children try and go about the rest of their morning." Albus looked at the children pointedly, raising a hand at them in warning as they moved to voice their protest. "While you and I contrive a way to break the news to Severus. I've sent word for him to meet me here momentarily."

"Professor Snape is coming here?" Ron squeaked, jumping in his seat. "Per…per…perhaps we should go."

The two other Gryffindors paled and nodded in agreement before exchanging their commiserations with Sirius and making their leave. As he watched the students leave, Sirius found that he couldn't blame them for not wanting to be present when the foreboding head of Slytherin was told the news.

* * *

"Oh my God!" Dudley squeaked, sounding altogether so much like a pig that had it been under any other circumstances, Remus would have laughed. "You! You're one of dem! You're like my freak coudin!" 

Distracted, Remus pulled his wand from his sleeve and, without even tearing his eyes away from the aged visage of the Hogwarts Headmaster, threw a body-binding spell at the wide-eyed Muggle. That it was Albus Dumbledore's reflection in the mirror and not Sirius' had him immediately on alert. Dropping the bloody gauze he had been holding in his other hand, he reached for the mirror to respond.

"Wait a moment, Albus, I have a student present." Remus explained hurriedly, before putting the mirror back down and returning his attention to Dudley, who, through the body-bind, was visibly shaken.

A hastily cast healing spell and selective memory charm later, and Dudley was sent on his mindless way in record time. Remus hardly had the time to admire his own crafty handiwork, however, since nothing he did to get rid of the nuisance boy was fast enough to quell his palpitating heart.

"Albus? What's happened?" He gripped the mirror breathlessly, almost too afraid to hear the old man's answer.

'_Estella or Sirius. Estella or Sirius_.' His stomach churned as his mind spun at the possibilities of why it was Dumbledore communicating with him through the mirror.

"Remus, my dear boy, there's no easy way to tell you this…" Albus sighed wearily.

"Oh for goodness sake, old man, get to it!" Remus snapped impatiently. He was hardly the best company immediately after a full moon at the best of times, but this situation would have taxed him regardless of the lunar cycle.

"It's Estella…"

Remus' world spun into a spiral of chaos, the mirror dropping from his unresponsive hand and landing on the rug with a soft thud.

_Estella._

Without even hearing what else the messenger had to say, Remus was gripped with a physical terror. His chest constricted painfully, and his breathing grew into erratic gasps as he began to hyperventilate. Most alarmingly, the normally observant werewolf became all but oblivious to his surroundings. Nothing but the old man's bad news repeating itself over and over in his head made its way past his ears as the world around him faded to black and he crumpled to the floor in a unconscious heap.

* * *

"Moony! Moony!" Sirius grabbed the mirror from the tired looking wizard and shouted into the frame. "Albus, what happened?" 

"I believe Mr Lupin passed out in shock." Albus informed him. "Do not worry about your friend, Sirius, I have anticipated this and sent your cousin, Nymphadora, to be with him."

"He's not coming here?" Sirius asked, his mouth increasingly dry.

"Now more than ever I am afraid he is required where he is." Albus said gravely. "I have taken means to ensure that he is kept well abreast of the situation."

"Oh." Sirius said quietly, not willing to admit that inwardly his stomach was churning at the thought of going through the next hours alone.

"I know what you are going through, Sirius, and please know that I am here if you need anything." Albus said gently. "And with Severus here, you will not go through this alone."

Sirius growled. He couldn't help but get the feeling that Remus' post at the Muggle School was merely an excuse for the old man to try and push the estranged brothers-in-law closer together.

"Albus, now is not the time to meddle with family politics!" He snapped warningly.

"On the contrary, dear boy, if not now, then when?" Albus said knowingly. "You must unite if you ever hope to achieve the same ends."

Any response Sirius could have come up with was cut off by the timely arrival of his wife's brother.

"What?" Severus' hawk-like eyes centred immediately on Sirius, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end when the calculating Slytherin deducted what their combined presence in the Headmaster's company could mean. "Albus?"

"I think you should sit down… _Severus_." Sirius said shakily before falling back into a seat himself. "I think _I_ should sit down."

Severus was immediately on edge. His begrudged brother-in-law did not address him so lightly. Something was amiss.

"Albus, this better not be one of your meddlesome attempts to reconcile our two families!" he looked at the older wizard carefully.

"You two truly are more alike than either of you will ever care to admit." Albus mused quietly to no one in particular. "I only wish things were so simple, dear boy. Please, do, sit down."

Falling heavily alongside his brother-in-law on the lounge, Severus glared at the Headmaster expectedly.

"What is it Albus, I do not have all day."

"Yes, yes, quite right, dear boy. I assure you I am not trying to drag this out for suspense." Albus looked at Sirius sadly before locking eyes with his most misunderstood staff member. "I am afraid I have some news that I know you are not going to like… and I find myself in the awkward position of not quite knowing just how to tell you."

Severus exchanged a look with Sirius before regarding the headmaster with a brow raised in both surprise, and curiosity. The Headmaster was known for beating around the bush, yes… but having difficulty in imparting news?

"Oh for God's sake, old man!" Sirius shook his head in contempt at the fumbling old Wizard before steeling himself and regarding the dark eyes of his foe – so like his wife's – with his own grey pools.

"She's gone, Sev. Malfoy got her."

There was a stunned silence as the content of Sirius' comment registered on Severus' features.

"What?" Severus spluttered, leaping from his seat and looking to the Headmaster for answers. "How could this happen?"  
"Well, if you would mind taking your seat, Severus, I shall endeavour to explain…" Albus gestured slowly to the chair, careful not to make any sudden movements that may set off the volatile man.

"What? No, spare me your excuses, Albus! This should not have occurred! You promised me, Albus!" Severus was aghast. "I shouldn't have listened to you! I shouldn't have let her out of my sight!"

At that, Severus did indeed take back his seat, if only to rest his elbows on his knees and cradle his head in a vain effort to keep himself together. Slowly, he lifted his head.

"I trusted you." He said lowly, a sense of finality in his voice that indicated that it would be a long time before the principled Slytherin would trust again. Then, without another word, he rose to his feet and made for the door.

"Severus? Where are you going?" Albus called after him, rising to his own feet from where he had been seated behind his desk.

"Where do you think, Albus?" Severus looked down his nose at him as though he were addressing the likes of Neville Longbottom. "I am going to get my niece back."

"I am afraid I cannot permit you to do that, Severus." Albus said quietly, unbidden power in his voice as he waved his hand subtly, sealing the exits of the room.

"Damn you, Albus!" Severus hissed and cursed at the door that would not yield. Turning back to face the powerful wizard keeping him captive, he fumed, emanating a power all of his own. "He…" he said, stabbing a jerky finger in Sirius' direction. "…may be blessed with the ignorance of not knowing what Malfoy is capable of; but I will not stand by and subject the child to his hospitality any longer than is necessary."

"Too right!" Sirius, in a rare display of actually agreeing with his childhood foe, took his place at the fired-up Slytherin's side.

"Gentlemen please…" Albus pleaded with them. "I understand where you are coming from, Severus, truly I do, but I must ask you to consider the integrity of your position."

"To hell with my position, Albus." Severus shook his head at the man. "My niece's safety has always come first, you know that!"

"And what of the safety of the Wizarding world?" Albus asked. "You hold a position of great responsibility, Severus, you must not run blindly into…"

"Do you have any idea what that man is capable of?" Severus asked the Headmaster levelly. "Because only then will you come close to knowing what you are asking me to do! I will not stand by when there is something I can do!"

"Damn straight!" Sirius nodded assertively, a determined look on his face. "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm with you, Snape."

"Oh, how comforting." Severus drawled sarcastically before turning his ire back towards the Headmaster. "Give me one good reason, Albus. One good reason why I don't just go and get her back…"

"We must think long term. He won't kill her." Albus said knowingly. "She is too valuable to him alive."

"What do you mean?" Sirius narrowed his eyes at the old man.

"Severus, you said yourself that Lucius had designs on joining the two bloodlines." Albus looked at Severus.

"Albus, I do not believe that is sufficient." Severus said, though there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice. "There are plenty of contenders who would only be too happy to align themselves with the Malfoy line."

"Yes, but none quite so coveted as what young Estella could offer." Albus said quietly. "With the heritage of her bloodlines and the bounty of her dowry, I am confident that Lucius Malfoy will overlook certain indiscretions…"

"I'm sorry, Albus, but since when can you profess to be an expert on Malfoy politics?" Sirius said. "You've given no weight to..."

"Never underestimate the power of blood, gentleman." Albus cut in. "I personally assure you both that everything is being done to recover Estella safely and without compromise."

"With all due respect, Albus, your word has little meaning." Severus said simply, the implications of his words cutting through to the old man like a knife. Seeing the effect it had on the mentor of the light, he relented. "What do you expect me to do?"

"Continue with your duties, Severus. If we are to maintain an element of surprise, it remains imperative to keep up certain appearances." Albus said.

"And what of Estella in the meantime?" Sirius interjected testily as he crumpled on the lounge, struggling to keep a hold of his emotions as his voice began to crack. "What about my baby?"

* * *

Estella ached all over. Lucius' torture of her was methodical and cruel. She felt as though whole days had past since she had last had a meal or lain in a bed, free from pain, but as Lucius had taken great care in informing her; she'd barely been gone a day. What's more, he'd tell her mockingly, Hogwarts was so preoccupied with the Triwizard Tournament, she hadn't been reported missing… and of course he would know. He was a all-important school governor. 

The battered girl wretched heavily, but nothing came out… the breakfast she'd barely touched long since expelled from her system in a earlier fit of nausea. Through the pain, she could not even remember what Pumpkin Juice tasted like… only that it tasted nothing like the inefficiently brewed replenishing potions Lucius forced down her throat so that she would remain conscious and alive enough to endure more of his torture.

Part of her knew that she wasn't helping herself. The potions gave her enough strength to back talk, and it was such defiance that only intensified the strength of Lucius' attacks. On the other hand, Estella reasoned, the longer she could keep the seriously twisted man interested and entertained, the longer he would keep feeding her the potions – bringing her back from oblivion – and the longer her rescuers would have to find her.

Alive.

"Don't you fall asleep now, Estella." Lucius said, feigning concern. "Don't you know it's rude to doze during a party?"

"Some party." Estella croaked, closing her eyes wearily, not wanting to subject her eyes to his leering face.

"Drink up." Lucius said cheeringly, his hands forcibly opening her mouth and pouring a lumpy, stale potion down her throat. Estella coughed and spluttered, trying to catch her breath.

"You know, Lucy, those potions are useless." She drawled, wincing as the burning hot liquid churned in her empty stomach. "Did Draco make them?"

Evidently touching a nerve, Lucius slapped her across the face; an insignia ring on his finger drawing blood. "Do not speak of my son." He hissed. "Not when he is too struck by you to do my bidding."

Estella couldn't help herself, she looked surprised. Had Draco defied his father for her sake? Was there hope for him? She could think no more, however, when her body was wracked with another bout of Cruciatus.

Recovering slightly, Estella spat out the bile that was in her mouth, making sure it landed full well on the materialistic Slytherin's precious boots. "The Dark Lord must have been so proud." She hissed. "To have such loyal followers with such limited knowledge of magic."

Lucius kicked his boot in her side, wiping his boot clean of spilt potions on her robes. "Shall I try something a little different then?" He whispered menacingly, leaning down over her before firing of a series of dark hexes in rapid succession.

Through her screams, Estella found that she would rather have stuck to the Cruciatus Curse.

"Had enough?" Lucius asked smugly, looming over Estella who was struggling to catch her breath as it came in dry, ragged sobs – the tears in her eyes already spent. She fell onto the ground heavily and willed sleep to claim her. "More potions then?" He smirked, before sweeping away momentarily.

Several vials of potions that Estella could not identify except to say not one of them had a pain-relieving agent; Estella sighed tiredly at her captor.

"Why don't you just kill me and get it over with." She said, tired of the vicious cycle. She didn't want to die. She didn't want to beg; but she didn't want to go through another round of that.

"Why? When we're having so much fun?" Lucius smiled. "I think I may keep you forever. Draco could do with testing his spell work on a living subject. Will serve well to toughen him up, don't you think?" He glared down at her levelly, wiping a closely tailored sleeve over his brow. "Besides, if the third task does not go as planned, you will be an integral part of tonight's festivities." He smiled benignly at her look of alarm and poked at an open wound on her arm with his wand. "Or rather, your blood will."

Estella shivered, wincing in pain as the badly healed wound was re-opened. All over, her body was wracked with injuries… the potions barely enough to stop her from losing consciousness. She didn't know if it was because the potions were so poorly administered, or because of the sheer number of curses she had been under; but the potions were little help.

"Ah, speak of the devil." Lucius smiled grotesquely as he pulled up the sleeve to reveal the blaring tattoo of the Dark mark… it was darker and much more pronounced than she had ever seen it. Before she could get a grasp on what he was doing, he had grabbed her hand and sandwiched it between his mark and his right hand. A whole new pain coursed through her as her pure hand fought the touch of evil and her pendant glowed white-hot, and she passed out.

End Chapter: Unexpected News


	95. A Long Way From Home

Updated: Thursday 30th June 2005

Disclaimer: Again, still not mine… and still borrowing bits from GOF

**Chapter Ninety Five: Long Way From Home **

The day had passed blissfully quickly for Harry – all the School Champions were actively engaged in ceremonious gatherings that occupied most of his time. To his surprise, the Weasleys were invited to observe him in the task… although Harry suspected that Dumbledore's motives for having them come along and spend the afternoon with him on the school grounds had been a little less transparent. That's not to say that he wasn't thankful for the distraction.

Dinner that evening in the Great Hall started early, and ran for many courses. Meeting the dark eyes of his Potions Master from where the imposing man sat at his place at the Head table, Harry could almost sense the agitation coming off the Slytherin Housemaster in waves.

'_He feels caged_.' Harry realised with a start as he took in the man's jerky movements and strained expression and instantly related to it. That the greasy-haired professor was usually so deft at concealing his emotions made even this slightest variation very telling. Never before did Harry expect to find himself sympathising with the oversized bat. The sudden thought of bats and the overriding desire to see Estella rescued inexplicably conjured in his mind the image of himself and Snape working together to combat Malfoy. While that in itself was not altogether too out of the question given the circumstances, that he and Snape had been going about their 'hero duties' as none other than Batman and Robin disturbed him to no end. He slammed his head against the edge of the table in a effort to purge his mind of the memory.

"Harry? You all right there mate?" Ron leaned closer to his friend in concern and patted him on the shoulder carefully.

"How can he expect me to just go along with this like nothing has happened?" Harry groaned, the combined stress of not knowing where Estella was and the anxiety about the upcoming task doing nothing for his stomach, which was presently doing its most gallant impression of a washing machine.

"Harry, you must think of what it will do to Estella if word were to get out…" Hermione struggled to reason with the boy who refused to meet her eyes. Little did she know that the over-imaginative Gryffindor was still trying to shake the image of Snape in a bat suit out of his mind. The repetitive theme music in his head was not helping him at all.

He laughed, in spite of himself.

"Harry?" Ron reared back in alarm. "Blimey, you've gone completely bonkers, you know that?"

"Harry, do you require the nurse?" Hermione looked at him curiously. "You appear to be cracking under the stress… I hear Fleur has been on calming draught since yesterday. It will be completely acceptable if you…"

"What?" Harry shook some clarity back into his addled mind and sighed. "Oh, that? Forget it… I just got the image of Snape in a bat suit in my head for a moment and couldn't shake it. Sorry."

While Ron could only stare at Harry as though he had grown an extra head, Hermione spat her Pumpkin juice out across the table. After apologising to Neville (who was in her line of fire) and cleaning the table with a swish of her wand, she turned back to Harry to regard him carefully.

"Harry Potter!" She admonished him, though the edges of her mouth were threatening to betray a smile. "What on earth possessed you to think of that at such a time?"

"Comic relief?" Harry shrugged nonchalantly. "Trust me, you don't want to know."

"What's so funny about picturing Snape as a bat?" Ron was puzzled. "I do it all the time. It's scary more than anything."

"Not in this bat suit he's not." Hermione told him, exchanging a knowing look with Harry, who groaned at the retuning imagery.

The atmosphere at the table lightening somewhat, the trio returned to their meal; with Harry struggling to force himself through a sustainable portion of food. It would, after all, not serve him well at all to collapse from hunger in the middle of the task. By the time the dessert courses started, however, Harry had returned to playing with his food… his mind wandering back to more oppressive thoughts.

Noticing the furtive glances that Harry kept shooting in Professor Snape's direction, Hermione cast a small privacy bubble around the three of them and reached out and grabbed Harry's hand; capturing his attention.

"Harry?" She asked him, concern lining her features.

"I just don't understand it! How can the school just pretend nothing has happened?" Harry whispered. "Why is he still here? Why doesn't he just go and get her back?"

"What makes you think he isn't doing that right now?" Hermione suggested. "If it truly is as simple as that, then maybe that's why the School is able to pretend…"

At this point, Ron joined the conversation.

"How can he be in two places at once?" He frowned.

"Time Turner… Polyjuice…" Hermione listed off her fingers, keeping her voice low so as not to attract the attention of the others at the table. "Think about it, Ron."

"Then why tell us she was gone at all?" Harry cut in desperately. "You saw the look on Snuffles' face! He looked like he'd never see her again!"

"Do you reckon Snape could be helping Malfoy?" Ron said suddenly, doe-like eyes widening. "Wouldn't be surprised if the greasy git was evil all along!" he paused, as though mortified by a thought that had just come to him. "Harry, do you think Snape could have been the one to put your name in the Goblet? That he cursed Krum and… and… and…"

"Ronald Weasley, will you stop this nonsense immediately!" Hermione grabbed the rambling redhead by the shoulders and rattled his lanky form. "Professor Snape is a respected and trusted member of the Hogwarts staff; both Estella and the Headmaster can vouch for that. Besides, you need only look at the number of times Professor Snape has saved Harry's life here to know what side he is on…"

"But Hermione!" Ron accosted her condescendingly. "What if that was all part of his plan… to… to… to suck us all in? And you can't have missed how vile Snape has been to Estella since she's been back! His own niece, Hermione!"

"He did throw her out of his class…" Harry furrowed his brow, casting the professor in question a look that was met with a steely glare. Estella had not been very forthcoming with the reasons for that, though he had his suspicions, and after seeing the flicker of emotion in Snape's eyes, he felt his resolve was renewed. "Maybe he did that though to protect her."

"Protect her? Harry, you're making no sense!" Ron shook his head. "Think about it! She's been under threat since she's been back, and yet rather do what most normal uncles would do and not let her out of his sight, he's as much as played her directly into Malfoy's hands!"

"Ron…" Hermione gestured for him to stop. Their gesturing, and the furtive glances they all kept giving Snape, had begun to attract the attention of the Head table, and Hermione had no doubt that most of the staff would be able to detect the presence of her privacy bubble.

"No, Hermione." Ron brushed her hand away irritably and continued to look at Harry intensely. "If he's thrown her out of class, then that means he's not once been alone with her since he's been back! Why do you think that is? I reckon it's because he doesn't want to become a suspect!"

"I don't know." Harry said pensively, ruffling his hair into further disarray. "If that was the case, then why did Dumbledore send for him while Sirius was still there? Why send for him at all if it was suspected he had a part in things?"

"Finally, I am not the only one of us capable of talking some sense!" Hermione looked heavenward in appreciation. "Now Ron, I know things have been strange since Estella's come back, but come on! Do you really know what you are saying? We only just found out where Estella was all that time – perhaps there are reasons for the way she and her Uncle have been treating each other that we are not aware of."

"You know, Ron, Hermione has a point." Harry said reluctantly. Though he knew a little more about the situation than he was letting on, he still didn't know enough to disclose any theories. It wasn't his place.

Any response Ron could have come up with was cut off by the Headmaster rising to his feet, causing a wave of silence to spread across the Great Hall as hundreds of heads put down their utensils and looked to their host expectedly.

"Ladies and gentlemen, in five minutes' time, I will be asking you to make your way down to the Quidditch pitch for the third and last task of the Triwizard Tournament. Will the champions please follow Mr Bagman down to the stadium now."

From his place at the Head table, Severus Snape watched the Gryffindor Champion leave the Great Hall with renewed interest. Taking this as his cue, he rose from his chair and slipped out of the room via one of the small antechambers immediately to his left. In his wake, the stealthy Slytherin could hear Dumbledore explain away his departure to a visiting Ministry official. To anyone who asked, Severus Snape was required elsewhere in the castle to oversee the end of Tournament proceedings. To those who knew the truth, however, Severus Snape was Sirius Black's keeper.

"I must be going soft." Severus scowled to himself as he made his way down the deserted dungeon hallway that led to his private chambers. Barely ten years ago and he would have gladly handed his childhood foe a Portkey to Malfoy's favoured 'interrogation wing' and stood aside as the foolish Gryffindor leapt into certain death. Never did he conceivably believe that he would ever open up his private quarters to another Black.

"Serpensortia." Severus gave the password to his offices, before crossing through the room and repeating the process at the entryway to his quarters; almost hesitant at what he might find in the place he had once considered his sanctuary.

After the news had sunk in, Dumbledore had suggested that Sirius spend the day in Severus' quarters… perhaps one of the only places in the castle that possessed the calming mark of Estella's influence. Flooing ahead to sufficiently ward the area against unwelcome scrutiny, Dumbledore then beckoned Sirius through while Severus, as a mere tenant of the Castle, could offer little protest. Dumbledore did not want to risk either men leaving the school in pursuit of justice, and so he had actually locked them in the dungeon quarters without prejudice. Asides from the battering his pride took at the notion of being physically confined, Severus took the situation in his stride. If anything, he was glad for the excuse to monitor his unwelcome guests' activities whilst in his quarters and he had been quite reluctant to leave his guest to their own devices when he had to return to the Great Hall for the feast. That he didn't just take the opportunity to leave the school and Apparate to Malfoy was simple: _Harry Potter_.

As much as he despised the boy and all he stood for, Severus was bound. Dumbledore had confided in him the concern that Harry may try to leave the school to find Estella; and short of cursing the boy's stupidity, Severus knew it was his responsibility to keep that from happening. Should Harry foolishly leave the school and meet an untimely end at the hands of Malfoy, then Estella – and the rest of the Wizarding world – truly would be lost. That he stayed at the school and subtly made sure the bane of his existence did not leave was made bearable only for the fact that it was all for Estella… but as the day went on and the time his niece had been missing stretched into hours, he could not help but feel more and more conflicted.

He didn't even want to think of what was happening to her.

Sirius, on the other hand, was having an even harder time of things… the poor man beside himself with helplessness and anger. Though Severus' quarters were exponentially better appointed, just the fact of being physically confined anywhere reminded the haunted man of his time of Azkaban. That his mind was already plagued with the horrifying thought of losing his daughter, the combination of circumstances did not bode well at all, and Severus was forced to sedate the man.

As he opened the door into his quarters and stepped in, Severus couldn't help but brace himself for what state he might find his quarters in. Never in his right mind did he expect to see Sirius Black calmly sitting in Estella's chair, talking to a mirror.

'_Now is hardly the time to bolster your own ego_.' He thought, slipping automatically into his old role as schoolyard nemesis, but refraining from speaking his mind.

"Tonks not letting you out, either?" Sirius spoke to the mirror, apparently having missed Severus' entrance. "Feels a bit like we're in separate detentions again, doesn't it?"

To Severus' surprise, the mirror talked back.

"Just like old days." The voice, which Severus quickly recognised as Lupin's, responded sadly. "Though I can only wish the stakes were as low now as they were then."

Hovering from his place in the shadows, Severus felt as though the last piece of a long forgotten puzzle had just been put into place. _'So that's how they did it_.' He realised, in reference to how the infernal duo of Potter and Black always seemed to know what the other was up to. Waiting then, for Sirius to finish his conversation, he could not help but pay mind to the ingenuity of the then school aged Gryffindors. The Slytherins, as he remembered his time as a student with less fondness, were always so occupied with concocting elaborate schemes, that they so frequently overlooked the simpler things.

"How long have you been standing there?" Sirius suddenly asked him, without turning around. The small hand mirror was now out of sight, and Severus had to question if it had even existed at all.

"I think you already know." Severus replied carefully, reminding himself not to underestimate the Gryffindor's sense of awareness again. He had not made a move since he entered.

Standing swiftly, Sirius regarded him with a curt nod before crossing the room and entering Estella's bedroom. Following at a slight distance, Severus leant in the doorway as Sirius paced the room. Though little had changed in the room since he had last set eyes on it, Severus knew immediately that Sirius had spent a lot of the afternoon in there.

"The Third Task will start momentarily." He informed Sirius, absently rubbing at his arm. Both men regarded each other with a look of anticipation, both feeling within themselves that something big was to happen before the night was through.

"There's a whole side of her that I never got to know." Sirius said forlornly, looking at how at home Severus looked in the doorway; his mind wondering at just how often the unassuming man had stood in that very spot and watched Estella play, read, or sleep. "It was staring me right in the face the entire time, but I never opened myself to it."

Without even having to ask Sirius what he was referring to, Severus nodded assertively. "Likewise." He responded in agreement, crossing the threshold of the room and making himself at home in the chair by Estella's bed.

"There are a lot of photos here that I haven't seen." Sirius observed, still pacing the perimeter of the room; his greedy eyes drinking in every trace of Estella as though immersing himself in her would cause her to leap out of the closet.

"She never truly vacated this room." Severus leant his elbow on the arm of the chair and rubbed his forehead. "I doubt she ever will."

"This is her first home." Sirius admitted thickly – it had taken him a lot to say it aloud. "There will always be a piece of her here."

"I suspect she deliberately left some things in here for fear that I would turn it into a storeroom in her absence." Severus mused lightly. "She didn't appear to believe me when I told her otherwise."

"Oh I reckon she did believe you." Sirius assured the man. "Damn kid can't go anywhere without leaving an impression of herself behind. You saw what she did to my parent's house! I never thought it could be anything but darkness and evil…" his voice trailed off as he struggled to compose himself. Turning to focus his bleary eyes on one photo in particular, he changed the subject. "When was this photo taken?"

Severus rose from his chair and moved to stand at the other man's side. Taking the photo from the father's outstretched hand, he ran a finger over the glass frame, causing the moving image therein to giggle soundlessly.

"That," he said, handing the image of a very young, chocolate-faced Estella back to Sirius. "Was the first time I took her to Diagon Alley."

Seeing how happy and at ease the small child looked in the photo – which Sirius was quick to recognise as being taken outside the ice cream parlour – he looked his brother-in-law in the eye.

"Tell me about it?"

Many shared memories and drinks later found the two men sitting across from each other in the living room, engaging in what could be construed as a cordial exchange. Time flew, and inwardly, each man was silently grateful for the Headmaster's manipulations in throwing them together during such a time. Distracted, Sirius' eyes flew to Severus' piano.

"How come you waited so long to start teaching her?" He asked, gesturing towards the musical instrument.

"I was not of mind to teach earlier." Severus said cryptically. "I'd lost sight of a lot of things."

"Oh." Sirius responded, feeling somewhat confused by the man's answer, but knowing he wasn't going to get any better than that.

"Besides…" Severus said distantly. "There are certain traits in my family that I did not want to see manifest so early in Estella's development."

Sirius' memory immediately flew to his wife.

"You don't think that…" Siirus' mouth flew wide as Severus nodded. "But why?"

"I am not the right person to cultivate such ability." Severus stared into the fire, his own mind assaulted with memories of his sister. "And it was not the right time for her to learn."

"I don't know why I never thought of it before." Sirius frowned. "She loves listening to music."

"She has a good ear." Severus agreed.

"But she never practices playing." Sirius shook his head. "Her heart isn't in it…"

"Perhaps that is a blessing." Severus said. "The Headmaster knows of the possibility, and I have endeavoured to underplay the situation. It will not be advantageous for Estella to be a pawn. Especially not now."

"Albus wouldn't do that!" Sirius said defensively. "You speak of him as though he is a Chess master!"

"Isn't he?" Severus raised a brow in challenge. "Tell me, Black, are you here now by choice?"

Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but closed it when the words did not come.

"My point precisely." Severus nodded in satisfaction.

"I suppose he can be a bit of a meddling old coot at times." Sirius admitted.

"Just a bit." Severus agreed smugly, before gripping his arm in pain and jumping to his feet in alarm.

"What is it?" Sirius asked hurriedly, joining his host on his feet and eyeing Severus' robed forearm with a growing sense of dread.

"Something has happened." Severus winced, reaching for his wand to cancel the block on the Floo. "You're free to go to Albus' office and wait for him while I am gone."

"Wait, where are you going?" Sirius asked. "The Mark is burning, isn't it? You're being called!"

"I must consult with Albus as to my next course of action." Severus said hurriedly, tossing on his outer cloak and securing his wand in the sleeve's holster. Before Flooing to the Entrance Hall on his way out to the Stadium, however, he turned back and added, as an afterthought. "Don't do anything foolish, Black. I'll return with word directly. I swear on your daughter's life."

Sirius nodded, a mask of cool efficiency on his face as his mind slipped back into the practiced routine of Auror response. It was as though a switch had been flicked in his mind and he was able to distance himself from the personal stakes at hand in the name of getting on with business. Though just hours ago he would have bristled and objected at Snape's unwelcome orders, he could not help but comply this time. On some level, it was almost as though the words had come from not Snape, but from his Commanding Auror… or, heaven forbid, Selina herself. Maybe it was something in the way that Severus had looked at him – with eyes so much like his wife's – or maybe it was his tone – so like an Auror's - that spurned him into submission; he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Therefore, as soon as Severus had disappeared into the Floo, Sirius followed, bound for the Headmaster's office.

* * *

When Estella awoke, she found herself in a circle, standing against her body's will, next to Malfoy, who had her in a strong body bind. The man had changed his robes, and was wearing a hood that matched those of others in the circle. They were standing in a dark and overgrown graveyard; the black outline of a small church was visible beyond a large yew tree to her right. A hill rose above them to their left. The outline of a fine old house on the hillside was barely visible. 

The only light available was the faint flickering of wand-light around her, and the twinkling blanket of stars above. As her eyes scanned the sky, she subconsciously sought out her father's star: it's presence standing out amongst all others, filling her with an eerie state of calm. Becoming increasing aware of her surroundings, Estella began to hear voices, and as she followed the sound into the heart of the circle, Estella's heart froze. There, tied to a marble headstone, was Harry; and he was bleeding.

_'…if the third task does not go as planned, you will be an integral part of tonight's festivities…or rather, your blood will.'_

Lucius' words echoed in her mind as she recalled one of the last conversations she had with the man before he revealed his mark and she passed out. She then realised the implications of the situation… Harry was here! They had gotten him during the third task! There was a traitor at Hogwarts! Estella was almost too wrapped up in her thoughts that she almost missed the name of her father's framer being used. As soon as she heard it though, she turned her eyes to the horrifying image of the Voldemort incarnate and listened.

"You returned to me, not out of loyalty, but out of fear of your friends. You deserve this pain, Wormtail. You know that, don't you?"

Estella sucked in a breath. It was Voldemort!

"Yes, master," moaned Wormtail, "please, master… please…"

"Yet you helped return me to my body," said Voldemort coolly, watching Wormtail sob on the ground. "Worthless and traitorous as you are, you helped me… and Lord Voldemort rewards his helpers…"

That the two-timing rat had managed to escape her father only to play an active role in bringing the most fearsome Dark Wizard back to life, made Estella sick to the stomach. She eyed the short, withering frame of the man who had ruined both her and Harry's lives with a burning hatred in her eyes. If not for this man, this man alone, Harry parents and her own, could be alive. Voldemort may have still risen, or never fallen; whichever way you choose to look at it, but without a traitor in their midst, the Marauders would have been infallible.

Estella's heart collapsed into her stomach when Voldemort began making his rounds of his loyal followers. Beside her, Estella could feel Lucius grab for her arm and haul her hovering form forward, so that she could be seen. Harry saw her first, and, in her bound state, she could only blink as Harry closed his eyes in defeat.

"Here we have six missing Death Eaters." Estella could hear Voldemort say as he stood in a wide gap of the circle. "Three dead in my service. One, too cowardly to return… he will pay. One, who I believe has left me forever… he will be killed, of course… and one, who remains my most faithful servant, and who has already re-entered my service."

Estella's eyes narrowed. The spy at Hogwarts had to be that last person, but which of the other two referred to her Uncle? She hoped beyond hope that Sev was the 'cowardly one'.

Voldemort then detailed the workings of how Harry came to join them, and the role he'd played in his resurrection. Estella spied around for the Triwizard Cup… for surely it was a Portkey, for how else was Harry to have gotten there… and finding a glimmer of hope in the arrogantly overlooked fact that said passage back to Hogwarts was lying unattended and not too far away. She shot Harry a look of hopeful encouragement, but was disheartened when Voldemort turned his attentions to Lucius.

"Lucius, my slippery friend," he whispered, halting before him. "I am told that you have not renounced the old ways, though to the world you present a respectable face. You are still ready to take the lead in a spot of Muggle-torture, I believe? Yet you never tried to find me, Lucius… your exploits at the Quidditch World Cup were fun, I daresay… but might not your energies have been better directed towards finding and aiding your master?"

"I apologise, my master." Lucius said deploringly, kneeling at the horrible monster's feet and kissing his hems once more. "I was suitably preoccupied securing you a gift."

Estella's stomach did a back flip… this did not sound good. Not good at all. Harry, hearing this, looked at her in alarm, his green eyes wide and smoky in the dim haze.

"There are plenty of opportunities in the future for you to indulge your sport, Lucius." Voldemort said fiercely, preparing to curse Lucius for his presumptuous insubordination. "I spent the past thirteen years more concerned with returning to a body than I did spend yearning for a spot of Muggle-torture."

"Yeah, that's because existing as a big gust of wind doesn't exactly scare anyone." Estella snorted, not realising she had the ability to physically speak.

Voldemort turned his red eyes to her, staring at her angrily, with his slit-like nostrils in full flare. "Who is this… this… person who dare defile me!"

"Oh, Tom." Estella sighed. "Don't you remember me?"

Voldemort glared even more intensely and moved uncomfortably close to study her more closely. "That tongue of yours is familiar. Shall I tear it out?" He said malevolently, his eyes lighting in recognition as he pieced the puzzle together. "It can't be! You died! I killed all traces of you! You were reincarnated!"

"Oh hardly, Tom." Estella shot back, her tone not betraying her intense fear. Had she had control of her body at that moment she would be trembling. "A simple Glamourie and a well-timed time turner, if you'd pardon the pun."

"Who are you?" Voldemort hissed. "Lucius?"

"Estella Black, master." Lucius informed his Dark Lord with a slight twitch to his lips. "Her parents are Sirius Black and Selina Snape."

"Snape?" Voldemort appraised her carefully. "Ah, the sister who would not follow her brother's path. Lucius, whatever became of the woman?"

"She died giving birth." Lucius informed his master gleefully, giving Estella a triumphant look as she glared back, defiant.

"Let me out of this body bind Lucius and I'll wipe that bloody smirk from your face! A fair duel, Malfoy – you and me, anytime!"

"Spirited little nymph." Lucius recast the binding spell, doubling its strength. "But one who would not be able to stand on her own two feet if I released the spell, hmmm?"

"Oh my, Lucius." Voldemort said, as though seeing the child's beaten state for the first time in the dim light. "You have been busy, my friend. Tell me child, does your defiance speak for your Uncle? I can sense his mark on you, do not deny it."

"My Uncle and I had a parting of the ways." Estella spat with as much contrived hatred as she could muster. "After my father's escape from prison. I do not speak for him."

"Master, Severus was released from Azkaban at Dumbledore's request." Lucius said confidingly. "I wonder the terms of their arrangement."

"Oh please." Estella leapt to her Uncle's defence. "You're just sour because you didn't think of the tactical advantage that having someone thoroughly interwoven into the Hogwarts staff first. My Uncle has spent the past thirteen years as Slytherin Housemaster, moulding their minds and earning the trust of his foes under the mask of redemption. You can't tell me that's a less productive use of time than the actions of a pompous, uncouth idiot who is more concerned with saving public face and can't even brew potions!"

Voldemort laughed at Malfoy's expense. "The child has a point, Lucius. Child, if what you are saying is right, then perhaps I will forgive your Uncle's absence this once." He looked at her curiously. "Though I question why you would seek to defend him if you have become estranged from him."

"He raised me until my father returned." Estella said honestly. "Just because I don't want to lick your stinking boots, doesn't mean I should hate the man who does." She blinked – for she was unable to shrug as she would have liked. "Whatever gets your bag."

"Many a Wizard has died for less than the insubordination you have displayed." Voldemort hissed, his patience once again wearing thin as he levelled his wand at the child. "What reason do I have not to kill you?"

"Well…" Estella said somewhat drunkenly, inwardly suspecting that Lucius had doctored her potions with some sort of inebriating agent. "Lucy here seems to think I make a good plaything, but I think I'd chew your ear off."

"I've never broken anyone this challenging, master." Lucius said with a eager glint in his eyes.

"And you never will, Lucy boy." Estella informed him scathingly. "I will not yield."

"Oh really?" Voldemort challenged, tipping his wand under her chin and lifting her head against her will to stare into her eyes. "Is that a challenge?"

"A promise." Estella shot back, defiantly. "I'd die first."

"A pity." Voldemort shook his head. "I could have used someone with your lineage and passion on my side. Wormtail! Take her to the boy! Lucius, kindly remove the body bind; I don't think Miss Black is in the position to pose any physical threat."

Lucius removed the binding spell, and although the last round of potions she had imbibed and her brief period of unconsciousness had left her with some strength to stand, she decided to underplay her strengths and fall to the floor in a pained heap. Little did any of them know, but she had her mother's wand on her person. While it was utterly useless to her for any sort of Defence spells, if the right opportunity came along to create a diversion with some sort of charm, then she would have a invaluable trump card.

It was difficult though to remind herself that she was supposed to be physically incapacitated during the time the traitorous rat, Wormtail had his hands on her, dragging her over to the tombstone to rest against Harry's tethered form. She settled instead, for hissing insults in his ear.

"I should have let that darn cat eat you, Wormtail." She hissed in a voice so low, only he could hear. Then later, as he shoved her against the tombstone she added. "I wonder what your precious half-blood master would have to say if he found out that his most faithful servant owed a life debt to two of the enemy." At that, Pettigrew froze and glared at her almost pleadingly. In fact, his hand had found it all the way to her mouth, as though to gag her from sharing the information. Moving then to tie her up, he stopped when Voldemort told him not to.

"I want to watch her squirm." The evil git said as a reason; and Estella inwardly smirked at her apparent success in having her strength undermined.

Peter gave her another appraising look as though trying to reconcile her with the girl he knew in his past. Estella sneered at him.

"You're digging your own grave, Peter. My father will hunt you down and kill you, you know that, don't you?" She said with mock sweetness. "If you thought he was livid when you took James and Lily from him…"

"Shut up." Peter hissed, moving to stand; but Estella grabbed his silver hand weakly, causing Peter to linger for fear that the false limb may come off.

"You ain't seen nothing yet." Estella smiled faintly, chilling the gutless animagus to his very core.

"Wormtail." Voldemort called back his snivelling pet rat authoritatively.

"Oh, and another thing!" Estella hissed, grabbing the collar of the snivelling man's robes and pulling him in so that he could look in his eyes directly. "How _dare_ you give that vile man the right to use the name given to you by the Marauders! You're a disgrace!"

"Wormtail!" Voldemort called out a little more forcefully, and Estella shoved the rat away in disgust. Then, for the benefit of the other Death Eaters, Estella began to sob.

"Oh Peter!" She cried brokenly, crocodile tears raining down her face. "How could you! I thought you were our friend!"

Seeing the look of discomfort on the morally deprived Marauder's face, Estella grinned inwardly.

Take that, you podgy rat traitor.

It was clear that the lost Marauder had a conscience… it was just that his sense of self-preservation far outstripped any sense of loyalty or honour one would normally associate with a Gryffindor.

What Voldemort did next, however, stunned Estella. He ordered Harry's bindings be removed and that the boy be given back his wand. Struggling to her feet to stand alongside Harry, although she did have to lean most heavily on the defiled grave of Voldemort's father in order to do so, Estella mumbled in Harry's ear.

"How thick can he get?" She said breathlessly. "Now we have a chance to get to the Portkey."

Harry retained a poker face, but, standing so close to him, Estella could feel his body shudder in the realisation that not all hope was lost. After he was handed back his wand, Estella defiantly held out her hand, eager to prolong things for as long as possible so that both she and Harry could plough through options in their minds.

"Where's mine?" She asked, pouting.

"You wish to duel, child?" Voldemort laughed. "Two against one." He wagged his finger. "Now that's not very fair."

"I can barely stand and won't have my own wand, and Harry is only half a grown wizard." Estella pointed out before giving Harry a sidelong look. "Sorry, Potter, no offence."

"Very well then. Lucius, do you still have Bella's wand?" Voldemort looked at the Malfoy master, who nodded, unsheathing a wand from his robes and holding it out. "Toss it to the girl." Estella caught it deftly, almost as though the wand had been called to her. "There you go, the wand of a fellow Black. How fitting."

Estella familiarised herself with the wand's length and density and flexed into a apt, but pained and stiff, duelling position. Harry did not move.

"You have been taught to duel?" No response.

"We bow to each other first" said Voldemort, bending a little, but keeping his snake-like face upturned to them both. Estella retaliated by jerking her head forward obstinately and spitting a bogey at him in defiance. Voldemort ignored this, but turned towards Harry's continued defiance. "Come, the niceties must be observed… Dumbledore would like you to show manners… bow to death, Harry…"

The Death Eaters were laughing again. Voldemort's lipless mouth was smiling. Harry did not bow.

"I said bow," Voldemort said, raising his wand and casting a Crucio at Estella so quickly she didn't even see it coming. Beleaguered by the afternoon of torture she had already endured, Estella fell to the floor in unbelievable pain; the venom in Voldemort's curse – the power he inflicted into the spell – making it seem like all the day's injuries were reopening.

"Bow and I will remove it." Estella could hear a voice say through her screams; then a scramble of movement above her as Harry desperately moved to comply. The spell was lifted.

"Very good. And now you face me, like a man… straight back and proud, the way your father died… and now – we duel."

Before Estella could even regain her breath from the force of Voldemort's spell, Harry was writhing on the floor beside her, his body wracking under the throes of the same unforgivable curse. Fumbling the unfamiliar wand in her hand, Estella directed a shield towards the angry red beam of light that attacked Harry. The spell itself was altogether ineffective, but the surprise that she was of body to cast it at all caused Voldemort to deflect the spell and give Harry a reprieve.

Turning his attentions to her, he glared at her intrusion.

"It is time for me to do what I should have succeeded in doing twenty years ago." He said, levelling his wand at her at the same moment that Harry stood. "Avada Kedavra!"

"Expelliarmus!" Harry shouted out at precisely the same moment. When the iridescent green light did not seek to claim her, Estella pried her eyes open, expecting to see Harry, lying dead on the floor. What she saw instead amazed her: Green and Red light issuing from either wand, meeting in the middle in a burst of golden light. Estella was absently reminded of the colour of the light sabres in the Star Wars films, but quickly dismissed the comparison when she saw that both wands were vibrating… their owners gripping their wands tightly in the purchase for control as the opposing beams of light fought against each other.

And then – nothing could have prepared her for this – Estella saw Harry's feet lift from the ground. With a taxing burst of energy she leapt for his leg, holding on for all her might as the two duellers and herself were raised into the air, gliding away from the tombstone of Voldemort's father, to come to rest on a patch of ground that was clear and free of graves. Rolling away from Harry slightly as she dropped to the ground before him, Estella could hear the Death Eaters were shouting, asking Voldemort for instructions as they closed in, re-forming the circle around them, some of them drawing out their wands.

Before they could get too close, however, the golden thread connecting Harry and Voldemort splintered: though the wands remained connected, a thousand more offshoots arced high over the three of them, criss-crossing all around them, until they were enclosed in a golden dome-shaped web, a cage of light, beyond which the Death Eaters circled like jackals, their cries strangely muffled now.

"Do nothing!" Voldemort shrieked to the Death Eaters, and both Harry and Estella saw his red eyes wide with astonishment at what was happening, saw him fighting to break the thread of light still connecting his wand with Harry's. Estella stood and whispered words of encouragement to her friend, the boy-who-may-just-live-to-see-another-day-yet grabbing hold of his wand with both hands, making sure the golden thread remained unbroken.

"Do nothing unless I command you!" Voldemort shouted to the Death Eaters.

And then an unearthly and beautiful sound filled the air… it was coming from every thready of the light-spun web vibrating around them. It was a sound both children recognised, though had heard only very rarely… it was a phoenix song…

Suddenly, something started to come out of Voldemort's wand, which was screeching and wailing in pain. A dense, smoky hand flared out of the tip of it and vanished… the ghost of the hand he had made Wormtail… more shouts of pain… and then something much larger began to blossom from Voldemort's wand tip - a great, greyish something that looked as though it was made of the solidest, densest smoke… it was a head… now a chest and arms… the torso of Cedric Diggory.

"Hold on Harry," It spoke.

Estella paled. She had not known that one of the school Champions had been killed. In the meantime, a man and woman Estella did not recognise emerged from the wand… earlier victims of Voldemort's; all three of whom began to pace around the inner walls of the golden web, while the Death Eaters flitted around the outside of it, whispering words of encouragement to them, and hissed threats to Voldemort.

And now another head was emerging from the tip of Voldemort's wand… the smoky shadow of a young woman with long hair fell to the ground as Bertha had done, straightened up, and looked at Harry…

"Your father's coming…" she said quietly. "he wants to see you… it will be alright… hold on…"

Estella stumbled back slightly in shock. "Lily?" She whispered reverently, tears coming to her eyes. Away from Harry slightly, Lily smiled down at her, her translucent glow ethereal, yet so reminiscent of the last time she had seen Lily smile like that.

"Aries?" Lily asked, evidently sensing Estella's unique magical signature. "Your mother was right!"

"Estella, actually." She corrected her Godmother coyly.

"Of course." Lily smiled knowingly before grinning almost mischievously. "I'm your fairy Godmother."

Estella stood, mouth agape, at the woman ghost's sense of humour.

"Sorry, always wanted to say that." She responded sadly, as though she regretted the circumstances that permitted her to finally say it. Casting her eyes over to the shadowy form of her husband, whom Estella had been far too engrossed in Lily to notice had arrived, Lily regarded Estella with a familiar glint in her eye. "Though it is quite fitting."

Tearing her eyes away from the sight of James whispering in Harry's ear, Estella looked at Lily in astonishment. After the day she'd had, everything that was happening at that moment seemed so surreal… and the more she saw of Lily… the same, witty, vibrant Lily she'd come to know… the more she began to wonder if she had perhaps died herself.

"I will tell you what James is telling Harry." Lily said, recapturing her attention and somehow managing to assure her that she was still very much alive and in danger. "You must be ready to run. You must find the strength to follow."

"You're going to distract them for us, aren't you?" Estella managed, her tongue heavy.

"We cannot stay any longer than that." Lily said sadly.

"You truly are my fairy Godmother." Estella acknowledged with a tone of finality. There was so much more she wanted to say… but as she looked into the ghostly green eyes of the woman, she realised just how much had gone unspoken.

"Get ready." Lily warned, before floating over towards Voldemort, who looked livid with fear. Estella didn't dare think of the sort of things the red-tempered Lily might be poisoning his ear with. She didn't have time to think as she saw a familiar rat run across her path.

Wormtail! Estella's heart leapt as she successfully winded the rat with a Impediment Jinx and knocked it unconscious with a Stunning spell. The stupid man had probably lost his bladder at the sight of James Potter's ghost and transformed in fright. She'd barely enough time to scoop up the rat and pocket it before she heard Harry scream.

"NOW!" Harry yelled, pulling his wand upwards with an almighty wrench, breaking the golden thread and destroying the golden web; leaving nothing but the lingering forms of Voldemort's victims; that were, true to Lily's word, distracting Voldemort, shielding their departure from his view.

Together, hand in hand, they ran as they had never run in their life, the force of their assault knocking two stunned Death Eaters aside as they passed; headed back towards the graves which they then zig-zagged behind, the buzzing of curses flying overhead and hitting the stones. Pain, fatigue and darkness descended on Estella's mind as the energy was slowly sapped from her body, but still they pressed on, headed towards the slumped form of their Hogwarts classmate and the discarded Triwizard Cup.

"Stun them!" Voldemort screamed from behind them.

Ducking behind a stone angel epitaph, Harry pointed his wand wildly over his shoulder, bellowing out the Impediment Jinx in an effort to slow down the Death Eater's approach at the same moment that Estella used both her father's cousin's wand and her mother's wand to cast a deflective shield.

"Go. I'll cover you." She gasped. "I'm better at protective charms."

"No. We go together." Harry stressed, pulling her up. They were but ten feet away from their goal and in the haze of the moment, Estella didn't have time to argue.

"Stand aside! I will kill him! He is mine!" Shrieked Voldemort as they hurdled over a tombstone and each grabbed a wrist of the unfortunate Hufflepuff; the Dark Lord but one row of graves away from them both.

"The Portkey! It's too far!" Harry groaned, pulling Estella back when she went to fetch it. "We have to touch it at the same time, otherwise only one of us…"

Harry's voice broke off as Voldemort got closer, his red eyes flaming in the darkness. He was so close that they could see his mouth curl into a smile as he raised his wand.

Looking at each other knowingly, the inspiration hitting them both simultaneously, both girl and boy levelled their wands at the Triwizard Cup and summoned it to them. Thereby, with a hand each on Cedric, and their wands pointed at the Portkey, they deftly caught either handle of the Cup at precisely the same moment.

As Estella let her cousin's tainted wand fall from her fingers in favour of receiving the cup, she could hear Voldemort's scream of fury. It was too late for him to do anything, though, as with a jerk behind their navels and a whirl of wind and colour, his two captives were already on their way back to Hogwarts, Cedric and a stunned, silver-footed rat along with them. They were going home.

End Chapter: A Long Way From Home


	96. Home

Review Responses 

Updated: Saturday 2nd July 2005

Disclaimer: Still not mine…

Chapter Ninety Six: Home 

Collapsing face-first into a heap on the cool, dewy grass of the Quidditch Pitch, Estella heaved a sigh of mixed relief. Both from the pain she endured, the lack of food, and the dizzying effects of the Portkey itself, Estella's head spun; and the Ravenclaw girl had difficulty determining her surroundings. A quick look at Harry, and she could see he was suffering from the same sort of disorientation.

A torrent of sound deafened and confused her. There was noise everywhere: voices, footsteps, screams… the sounds assaulting her senses in a jumble of incoherence that unnerved her. Estella lolled back on the grass, her eyes unable to focus on the bright stadium lighting and the shadows that emerged around them. In one hand she held a fistful of Cedric's robes and her wand, and in the other, she had somehow cast aside the Cup and found Harry's hand. Together, they were anchored, Estella knew; but at that moment all she wanted to do was to close her eyes and rest.

Hands were suddenly upon her, seizing her up roughly and turning her over. With what little strength she had left, Estella flinched and recoiled from the unidentified contact.

"Harry! Estella!" Through the haze in her mind Estella could recognise the Headmaster's voice. Then again, a more wary part of her mind warned her that last time she'd believed someone to be who they said they were it turned out to be Malfoy. Estella groaned in protest, no longer able to form words. She was fading fast, the events of the day and ineptitude of Malfoy's potions, taking their toll.

Dark shadows of a crowd of people pressed in around them, pushing nearer, the ground reverberating with their footsteps. For a moment, Estella was not sure if they were even back at Hogwarts at all, or if they were the shadows of Voldemort's victims and she had passed out in the graveyard. Panic began to overcome her, and her stomach lurched in fear as she struggled to convince herself that she truly was back at the school, and therefore, safe.

"He's back," She could hear Harry whisper, the reassuring squeeze he gave her hand bringing her back to her senses; and she began to relax. "He's back. Voldemort."

"What's going on? What's happened?"

A new voice entered the fray as the pompous face of Cornelius Fudge appeared upside down over them; bowler hat and all, though looking quite white and appalled.

"My God – Diggory!" He whispered. "Dumbledore – he's dead!"

If Estella had a ounce of energy left, she would have slapped the Minister upside the head and congratulated him on his uncanny ability to state the obvious.

Following from Fudge's dumbfounded exclamation, the news spread through the crowd like wildfire; the words repeated over and over like the rustling of trees as the shadowy figures pressing in on them gasped it to those around them. Shouts rang out as alarm set in, and screaming rang cut through the night. "He's dead! He's Dead!" "Cedric Diggory! Dead!"

"Let go of him," Voices said, fingers trying to pry her grip from the boy's body, as likely they were also trying to do to Harry. She could faintly hear the headmaster tell them that it was over, and to let go. Estella complied groggily, her fingers not wanting to release their death grip and flex at first.

Hands on her again, and Estella was hauled up to stand alongside Harry, whose hand she had not let go of. Leaning against her god-brother, the bones in her own legs boneless, Estella could feel the deceptively strong hands of the Headmaster behind them, holding them both up. For the first time that day, she was overcome with a sense of calm… it was as though she could feel the power of the revered wizard behind her, and his presence was assuring her protection.

The crowd around them jostled, fighting to get closer, pressing darkly in on all sides. "What's happened?" "What's wrong with them?" "Diggory's dead!"

"He'll need to go to the hospital wing!" Fudge said loudly, denying the reports that Cedric was dead despite the cold, hard evidence staring lifelessly up at them all. "He's ill, he's injured – Dumbledore, Diggory's parents, they're here, they're in the stands…"

"I'll take the children, Dumbledore, I'll take Harry…"

"No, I would prefer –"

"Dumbledore, Amos Diggory's running… he's coming over… don't you think you should tell him – before he sees?"

"Stay here –"

The voices came so hard and fast to Estella she could barely keep track of who said what and to whom. All she knew was that in one sudden instance, the life force behind her, keeping her on her feet, was gone, and both she and Harry were stumbling to their knees, exhausted. Just as quickly, Harry was yanked from her grip, and she could hear him being half carried, half led, half dragged away; but in the furore of the crowds of people and the white nothingness that plagued her mind, luring her into unconsciousness, Estella could not see who took him.

Rising to her feet shakily, Estella called out to Harry in a choked, weak voice, the effort of breathing alone difficult enough without giving her breath song. Without Harry there to anchor her, or the protective aura of the Headmaster to console her, the dizzying panic that lingered on the edges of her mind threatened to close in. Around her, girls were screaming, sobbing hysterically… or was it her making those noises? Estella didn't know anymore. To borrow from a Muggle analogy, it was as though she had been swept up in a wind storm and deposited in the Land of Oz… only this time without any ruby red slippers or yellow brick road to find solace in.

Taking an experimental step forward, Estella tumbled to the floor, her balance lost to the inertia in her mind. Sucking in dirty gasps of air as her face landed heavily in the dusty earth, Estella realised that she was the one sobbing hysterically. Between the hiccuping sobs she now recognised as her own and the lung-fulls of dust she was inhaling – her body no longer able to bear the weight of lifting her head – Estella began to see dots in front of her eyes. She suddenly felt very alone… very exposed… and as shock began to set in, her body shuddered uncontrollably with cold, exhausting her wrought frame and causing pain to blind her senses.

Yet as soon as she began to spiral into a dangerous pit of despair, so suddenly did the feeling of safety pull her back from oblivion. One moment she was inhaling mouthfuls of dirt in the grass, and the next, she was smothered in a firm embrace, her nostrils bristling against soft, dark material, flaring with the soothing scents of loam and spice, and everything else that was her uncle. It had all happened so quickly, she hadn't even acknowledged his approach, let alone heard a single word he'd said. Realising then that she was not only in his embrace, but in his arms as he moved briskly across the grounds, his long, sure strides carrying them up the hill towards the castle with a power Estella's own did not possess, Estella went rigid in his arms.

"Hush child, you're safe now." He said softly, his breath tickling her ear as he spoke.

Estella croaked, her mind vehemently trying to warn her Uncle of his 'role', but her body uncooperative. Like so many times before, however, her Uncle anticipated her distress and reassured her justly.

"Do not concern yourself with that now, Estella." He assured her. "You are the priority."

Forcing her eyes open to seek out the telling gaze of her Uncle, Estella could only see him staring straight ahead. Around them, the hallways were conversely devoid of life – a stark change from the frantic crowds outside. When Estella noticed they had overshot the passage that lead to the infirmary, Estella shifted in her Uncle's arms and looked at him in question.

"Infirmary?" She questioned, her mind finally of sense again to manage the one, simple word.

"I can smell the potions on you, Estella." Her uncle said gravely, and Estella became distinctly aware of the stains on her robes as she consciously inhaled the scent for herself and was immediately overcome with nausea. "The Infirmary cannot help you now."

Estella sighed and lolled her head back, her eyes sliding closed as oblivion claimed her… before she lost all sense of awareness, however, she was aware of her Uncle calling out her name sharply and quickening his pace.

1

"Fetch the bird." Severus gasped breathlessly as he had literally tore up the spiral staircase and into the Headmaster's office where Sirius paced wildly like an animal caged.

Seeing his brother-in-law enter with a unmoving body in his arms, Sirius' heart flew into his throat. "Estella!" He cried out in panic. "Estella!"

Handing the nearly unconscious child to its unresponsive father wordlessly, Severus crossed the room to Fawkes' perch and coaxed the bird over to the child; which happily flew over to perch itself on Sirius' shoulder.

Laying Estella out on the chaise by the fire, Sirius dropped to his knees by his daughter's side while Fawkes went to work, singing a sorrowful tune and shedding crystal tears over Estella's mouth and face. Severus, meanwhile, stood rigidly over the other side of the chaise, each breath coming in controlled bursts as he struggled to maintain control over his resolve.

Slowly, but surely, colour slowly begin to return to Estella's face, and her breathing became deeper and more even. After three minutes of no response, the rousing child smacked her lips together as though sucking the last of the phoenix's life-giving tears from her mouth. Stirring some more, she then opened her eyes slowly.

"Dad!" She recognised her father first, her uncle still outside her line of sight. "Uncle Sev!" She added as he came into view.

"Shhh, don't talk." Sirius said, smoothing the hair from her face and sending a silent prayer of thanks to Fawkes for erasing the horrible look of pain that had formerly been etched there. "You gave us quite a scare."

"I'm sorry." Estella said quietly. "I went off…"

"Don't apologise." Sirius assured her firmly. "It wasn't your fault. Even Dumbledore was fooled. Do not worry about such things right now, just rest."

"No." Estella said defiantly, forcing her eyes to stay open as one hand shot out, reaching for her Uncle's sleeve. Grabbing a hold and pulling the man down to his knees, level with her father, she slipped her hand up the cuff of his robe and recovered the wand she knew he kept there. With a meaningful look then at her uncle, she handed the man his wand and nodded.

"Estella…" Her uncle asked, bewildered by the display of deep trust the child was showing him by inviting him into her mind.

"Please?" She asked. "I know you want to know, both of you… but I don't think I can say it."

Catching on, Sirius stroked his daughter's hair lovingly. "We'll find us a pensieve when you've had some rest."

"Now." Estella insisted. "Will forget… details… and I know you want to know…"

Fawkes' tears had brought her back from the brink lasting injury, but she was still too tired to form complete sentences.

"Uncle Sev?" She pleaded.

Severus looked reluctantly at the child's father for permission before continuing. Seeing how much his daughter wanted to do this, Sirius could not help but to nod his assent.

"I will put what I find in Albus' pensieve." Severus assured the worried father before levelling his wand at the child. "Let me in, Estella. Fight that instinct to block me."

Estella nodded, looking at him strangely as though to say 'Like I have the energy to do that at the moment if I wanted to!'

"Legilimens." Her uncle whispered softly, and Estella's mind was pulled back automatically to events that had occurred earlier that day.

"What is it? Why did you stop? What happened?" Sirius' worried outcry roused Estella's mind back to the present. Her body was trembling uncontrollably, drenched with sweat; and she was breathless. At some point, her father had climbed onto the chaise, pulling her into his arms; and her Uncle was now resting back on his heels, his hands shaking as they held on to the sides of the lounge wearily. His head was bowed and his shoulders heaved as he struggled to catch his own breath. His wand lay discarded on the floor.

"We weren't finished." Estella said, confused, the replay in her mind that her Uncle had sought out had ended at the point where Harry had deflected the killing curse meant for her with his disarming spell. "There's more…"

"No." Severus said brokenly, raising his head to look at her with more emotion in his eyes than she had ever seen before in her entire life. "No more."

Estella sucked in a breath. Had what happened been so terrible that her Uncle could not bear to witness it? Apparently, it had, for the man now had his head bowed between his outstretched arms again, the man fighting an internal battle with himself for composure. Then, equally aware of her father's arms around her, Estella relaxed into his embrace, willing the resurfaced memories from her mind as she forced her own body to wind down.

Eventually, her uncle stood and, placing his wand to his head, expelled a single silvery thread from his temple; letting it drop and swirl into the retrieved pensieve on the table. Without saying another word to them, the formidable Potions Master strode to the window, by Fawke's perch, and stared out of it, his back to them. In turn, Fawkes flew over and rested on her uncle's shoulder… the silhouette of the pair painting a rather unusual image as the bird sang softly to the man, willing the consummately rigid form to relax.

Seeing that the memories of his daughter's day were now free for him to peruse at his discretion, Sirius untangled himself from his daughter and set her back down on some cushions before making his way over to the innocent pool of thought; his curiosity getting the better of him. Before he alighted into the pensieve, however, he was vaguely aware of a small hand firmly grasping his, and a body leaning against him. Estella had risen from the chaise, reinvigorated enough by Fawkes' healing tears to do so, and joined her father in the memory.

While Estella watched the memories with fascination… with the kind of abstract indifference and analytical disposition one severely detached to the event might; Estella found it astonishing to believe that it was she who had endured all of that… and lived. Seeing it from such a third person perspective, it was not a surprise when her father collapsed to his knees, his body wracked with a mix of anger and grief, his mind unable to cope with the vision of watching his child being tortured.

Squeezing his hand gently and leaning into him more, Estella whispered words of assurance to him and asked him if he wanted to leave the memory.

"No. I want to see." Was his choked reply. "You lived through this, what kind of father am I if I cannot?"

After that he merely held her tightly, his eyes unmoving from the sights he was seeing.

At the end of the memory, father and daughter were expelled from the pensieve to find the room empty.

"What happened next." Sirius asked, choking back a sob as he hauled his daughter up and settled back down with her on the couch; his body rigid and eager to shed blood while at the same time reluctant to detach itself from her touch.

"We got away…" Estella said simply, cupping her father's face in her hands and kissing away his tears. "Harry can tell us that bit, I'm sure."

"Harry!" Sirius' body jerked. "Where is he?"

As though the castle had a innate ability to respond, the office door opened to reveal the Headmaster and Harry. In one swift movement, Sirius and Estella were on their feet and by his side. With the Phoenix Tears still at work in her system, slowly building up her strength, Estella threw herself into Harry's arms, while Sirius lingered back slightly, his face as white and gaunt as it had been when he had first escaped prison. As soon as Estella had pulled away, Sirius moved in, his hands shaking as he guided both children to sit either side of him on the lounge by the desk.

"Harry, are you alright? I knew it – I knew something like this – what happened?"

Dumbledore began to tell Sirius and Estella everything Barty Crouch had said.

There was a soft rush of wings. Fawkes the phoenix had left his perch, flown across the office, and landed on Harry's knee.

"Lo, Fawkes," said Harry quietly from his seat on Sirius' left. He stroked the phoenix's beautiful scarlet and gold plumage as Estella snuggled against her father's right side. Spying his pensieve had been used, Dumbledore looked questioningly at Estella who nodded. With a slowness of movement that betrayed the man's true age, Dumbledore excused himself to observe the memory, returning later visibly shaken as he sat down opposite Harry, behind his desk. He was looking at Harry, who avoided his eyes.

"I need to know what happened after you touched the Portkey in the maze, Harry," said Dumbledore.

"We can leave that 'til morning, can't we, Dumbledore?" said Sirius harshly. He had put a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Let him have a sleep. Let them both rest."

"If I thought I could help you," Dumbledore said gently, "by putting you into an enchanted sleep, and allowing you to postpone the moment when you would have to think about what had happened tonight, I would do it. But I know better. Numbing the pain for a while will make it a whole lot worse when you finally feel it. You have shown bravery beyond anything I could have expected of you. I ask you now to demonstrate your courage one more time. I ask you to tell us what happened."

The phoenix let out one soft, quavering note. It shivered in the air, and Harry took a deep breath, and began to tell them. As the phoenix began to sing, and Harry began his side of the story, Estella shivered and clung to Sirius, memories of the moment when Harry and Voldemort's wands had connected particularly coming to mind. At several moments during Harry's rendition of events, Sirius made a noise as though about to say something, his hand tightening on Harry's shoulder, but Dumbledore raised his hand to stop him. When Harry told of Wormtail piercing his arm with the dagger, however, both father and daughter let out a vehement exclamation; with Estella having listened to Harry's story up with particular interest as she had been unconscious in the graveyard until shortly after that point.

"He said that my blood would make him stronger than if he'd used someone else's," Harry said as Dumbledore rose suddenly to inspect the wound that Peter had inflicted on Harry's arm. "He said the protection my – my mother left in me – he'd have it, too. And he was right – he could touch me without hurting himself, he touched my face."

"Malfoy said something to me about my blood being important for the night's festivities if the third task did not go as planned." Estella mused absently. "I don't think he truly believed that Moody… I mean Crouch, would be able to deliver."

Her father tightened his hold on her impulsively, the thought of Wormtail anywhere near his daughter sending his blood cold. It was bad enough that his canine senses could still smell the rat all over her.

Suddenly, as though remembering an obscure fact for the first time, Estella jerked in her seat, her hand flying furiously to a pocket in her robes.

"Estella? Estella, what is it?" Voices asked her from all sides.

"I don't think tonight has been a complete waste." Estella said, a genuine smile on her face as her fingers closed around something she normally would not dream of touching if her life depended on it. Watching her curiously, three mouths were sent equally askew when she pulled out her hands to reveal a rat. And not just any rat… a certain silver-footed rat.

"Pettigrew!" Sirius and Harry spat.

"Headmaster?" Estella looked at the man questioningly, beckoning the stunned rat towards him. "I don't particularly want to be touching this filth any longer…"

"Oh, of course not, child." Dumbledore said once he had recovered from his shock, and he flicked his wand disdainfully at the rat, encasing it in a small Muggle like hamster cage complete with anti-transforming wards. "Now do we wish to continue with Harry's explanation of events or shall we call for an immediate meeting of the Wizengamot?"

"Wizengamot." Three voices replied insistently, each eying the oblivious rat with disdain. Peter had already slipped through their fingers before justice could be served once… they were not about to take any chances.

1

To say the Minister of Magic was shocked to answer a call to the Headmaster's office to find Sirius Black having a cup of tea with the saviour of the Wizarding world by his side eating a crumpet, while the entire Wizengamot crammed into the Headmaster's office and watched on in awe was a massive understatement.

"If you're not careful, Minister, the wind will change." Estella smirked at the gob-smacked Minister victoriously, the man for once at a loss for words.

A revived rat and testimony under Veritaserum later, and Sirius was a free man, with Fudge even going so far as to issue a public statement of apology to the Black family and provide both Estella and Sirius with the promise of considerable damages.

"It will be a positive spin to the news of Diggory's death." The pompous idiot gloated in relief, happy to be able to weigh 'good news' with the bad in his pursuit to ensure the satisfaction of the voting public.

"I'll pretend you didn't just say that, Fudge." Sirius gleamed, hardly forgiving of the man's ineptitude "or else I will likely do something that will land me in Azkaban."

The man positively cowered, before prattling on in a nonsensical monologue about how the Dark Lord couldn't possibly be alive and that something else must have happened to explain the night's strange turn of events. For instance, Peter was officially charged with the kidnap of Estella and the murder of Cedric, even though none of the statements made under Veritaserum alluded to that fact!

To save another murder taking place that night as both Harry, Estella and Sirius fumed at the Minister's reluctance to pursue proper justice (i.e. by going after Malfoy with the testimonies of not only Harry and Estella, but the recovering Benson Ollerton in St Mungos as evidence), Dumbledore quickly ushered the Minister away to make his speeches and announcements to the public; citing the need that the children needed rest. The Minister's departure incidentally timed spectacularly well with Remus' arrival.

"Moony!" Estella lost herself in her Godfather's embrace as the man held her in his arms, refusing to let go. "Air! Breathe!"

At that, Remus reluctantly released Estella before exchanging less-fierce embraces with both Sirius and Harry.

"I came as soon as I could!" Remus said, breathless. "It took a while to debrief Tonks and have her assume my disguise. She sends her best."

"Well you're getting the short version for now because I don't want to hear or see the grisly details again tonight." Estella yawned, leaning into her father's side. Beside her, Harry nodded furiously.

"Let's hear it then." Remus said, an anxious look in his eyes.

Estella took a deep breath. "Malfoy kidnapped me, Moody was a Death Eater in disguise, Triwizard Cup was a Portkey to Death Eater reunion, One of the Hogwarts Champions was killed, Wormtail resurrected Voldemort, Harry and I were cursed with unforgivables, but when Harry stopped the killing curse with a disarming spell, Voldie and his wands connected and brought the ghosts of James and Lily out of Tom's wand, they helped us to escape… and… er… oh yeah, Malfoy really sucks at potion making."

Four heads looked at her curiously for that last comment.

"What? He sucks! He does!" Estella maintained, still struggling to recapture her breath. Remus smiled mirthlessly at his goddaughter's valiant attempt at levity and sank into a chair heavily. That was the 'short' version?

"Voldemort's returned?" He asked, sucking in a breath… his mind not even wanting to fathom what his beloved cub had endured that night – the distinct, lingering scent of pain still permeating from her potion and bloodstained robes. With a violent start he could tell that it was all her blood, and he pulled the child onto his lap to assure himself she was all in one piece.

"Nothing a good sleep can't fix, Uncle Remus." Estella said, reading his mind. "Uncle Sev brought me straight up here and Fawkes healed me."

"Thank Merlin!" Remus cried, burying his head in Estella's shoulder as he inhaled deeply, reacquainting himself with her scent of contentment.

"Ah, Estella?" Harry asked pointedly. "Aren't you forgetting to tell Professor Lupin…" Remus shot him a look. "I mean Remus, something?"

"Oh yeah." Estella said with an air of mystery as she looked at her father. "Dad? You want to tell him?"

Sirius smiled. "Estella caught Wormtail."

"What!" Remus almost dropped Estella off his lap in shock.

"The Minister just left." Estella said, her lips twitching as she watched the pieces fit together in her Godfather's mind.

"Moony… I'm a free man!" Sirius exclaimed, unable to keep the news to himself anymore.

After surpassing the shock, Remus sank back in his chair. "Well, it certainly has been a long day, hmmm?" He said, hugging Estella tightly before smiling widely in happiness at his friend. "Merlin, I need some chocolate."

Estella smirked and waved her hand behind Remus' ear, bringing back with it a small block of chocolate.

"Oh, would you look at what I found?" She smirked.

Remus' eyes bulged. He sniffed her sleeve for any trace of the chocolate's hiding spot but could find none. "Estella… how did you?"

Estella grinned, not giving anything away. "Always told you if you'd eat that much chocolate it'd start coming out of your ears!"

"Estella! How did you do that?" Her father asked her, intrigued. From where he was sitting next to Remus, he had seen no tricky hand movements at work… the chocolate had simply appeared!

"Oh, nothing really." Estella leant back, smiling smugly. "Just a little something I've been working on." They stared at her quizzically. "OK, OK… I made a deal with the House Elves, all right? Every time I shake my hand behind someone's ear, they pop chocolate into my hand."

"How'd you manage to get them to do that?" Sirius and Remus asked her, astonished.

"I asked." Estella shrugged. "They seem to think it's amusing. That and they have developed a taste for Muggle Music and I charmed a wireless to pick up Muggle radio stations for them in the kitchens."

Werewolf and Animagus shared a nostalgic look. Ravenclaw and bookish though the object of their affections may be, it was becoming increasingly evident that she was the daughter of a Marauder… with a distinctly Slytherin penchant for subtlety.

Spying the curiously proud looks on her father's and Godfather's faces, Estella shrugged and yawned widely. Then, as though it were contagious, Harry mirrored the action. Dumbledore rose to his feet.

"I will say it again," he said, gesturing them all to stand. "You have both shown bravery beyond anything I could have expected of anyone tonight, even those who to those who died fighting Voldemort at the height of his powers. You both have shouldered a grown wizard's burden and found yourself equal to it – and I will not expect anything more of you tonight. Come, now, both of you, to the hospital wing. Neither of you will be returning to your dormitories tonight. A Sleeping Potion, and some peace… Sirius, Remus, would you like to stay with them?"

The men nodded, and stood up, a child braced against each of them as they followed Dumbledore out of the office and down a flight of stairs to the hospital wing.

When Dumbledore pushed open the door, they saw Mrs Weasley, Bill, Ron, Hermione, Elsie, John and Reginald grouped around a harassed looking Madam Pomfrey. They appeared to be demanding to know where Harry and Estella were and what had happened to them. All of them whipped around as Harry and Sirius, Estella and Remus, and Dumbledore entered, and Mrs Weasley let out a kind of muffled scream. "Harry! Oh, Harry!" before recognising Sirius and gasping in shock.

She started to hurry towards them protectively, but Dumbledore moved between them.

"Molly," he said, holding up a hand, "Please listen to me for a moment. Harry and Estella have been through a terrible ordeal tonight. They have just had to relive it for me. What they need now is sleep, and peace, and quiet. Furthermore, Sirius Black is innocent. The Minister has just left my office and will be making the announcement momentarily."

Mrs Weasley nodded, her mind in shock as she struggled to process all the new information. She was very white. She rounded on Bill and the students who had gathered as though they were being noisy, and hissed, "Did you hear? They need quiet!"

"Headmaster," said Madam Pomfrey, eyeing Sirius warily, "May I ask how -?"

"I have been aware of Sirius' innocence for quite a while, Poppy" said Dumbledore simply. "The evidence has only just come to light. I will explain everything in your office to all who would like to know the details before the press release comes out."

Several heads nodded, eager to hear the Headmaster's explanation before they accepted Sirius' presence as safe.

"I would like for you both to remain here tomorrow, until I have spoken to the school." Dumbledore said to the two children, before leaving. "Ladies and Gentlemen, if you'd like to accompany me to Poppy's office for a moment, we'll leave the children to ready for bed."

While everyone was in the nurse's office being filled in on the details of Sirius' innocence, Estella's uncle swept into the infirmary, his hawk-like gaze looking around the room searchingly.

"You're in here!" Her Uncle stated dumbly, a brief look of relief crossing his features. Rushing over to help her climb into the bed; he promptly transfigured it into a much softer, and wider bed complete with her favourite down comforter and pillows. Though by principle he did not appreciate the finer arts of wand-work, transfiguring things for his niece's needs was a skill he had become quite efficient in over the years. "When I returned to the Headmaster's office and you were not there…" His voice trailed off. "Why are you here alone?"

"Dumbledore's in the nurse's office explaining to the Weasleys and my friends about Dad's innocence." She yawned. "Dad and Remus are in there too. Harry's behind the screen there."

Hearing his name, Harry cautiously poked his head around the screen, his body clad in soft cotton pyjamas not unlike Estella.

"Professor." He greeted, smiling slightly. "You alright, Estella?"

"Potter." Severus said stiffly, his eyes quickly travelling towards the door where his niece's other family were.

Noticing Harry eye off her much more comfortable bed, Estella smiled at Harry wryly. "Would you like my Uncle to transfigure your bed into something more comfortable?" She asked, her eyes dazzling with mirth. "I'm sure if you asked…"

Harry looked at his foreboding Potions Master with a horror stricken look on his face. "Oh no, it's alright sir. My bed is perfectly alright." He muttered while Severus regarded him with cool, glittery eyes before ducking back behind his screen in embarrassment.

"Harry, c'mere." Estella called after him before scolding her Uncle lightly. "Stop it, you're freaking him out!"

"The boy faces down the Dark Lord but hides from me?" Severus mused aloud, a self-satisfied smugness in his tone. Estella swatted him with a pillow just as Harry re-emerged from behind his screen.

"Come on, Harry." Estella said, smirking as she patted a space next to her on the widened bed. "Sleep with me?"

Harry watched Severus' eyes darken and blanched and kept his distance; but Estella pressed on. "Oh come on, Harry." She said, smiling fully now. "It's no different from the time you asked me to the Prefect's Bathroom to watch you bathe!"

Chancing a look at his most loathed Potions Master, Harry physically retreated from the murderous look the man afforded him. Estella, meanwhile, had grabbed Harry's wrist and pulled him on the bed; all the while laughing hysterically.

It was the sound of laughter that greeted the bewildered party as they returned from the nurse's office, Sirius in the lead as he didn't hesitate in returning to his daughter's side.

"What's so funny?" Sirius asked, "You tell your Uncle what we did to Wormtail?"

Estella shook her head. She could say no more on account of the fact that Harry had his hand firmly clamped over her mouth.

"You're… you're free then?" Severus managed, his heart sinking at the prospect of losing Estella forever.

"Yes." Sirius said simply, regarding his brother in law carefully as the man did not tear his pained dark eyes away from Estella. Following the Slytherin's gaze to the oblivious child who was too busy batting Harry's hand away to notice, Sirius took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Opening them again, he extended his hand firmly and offered his brother-in-law a peace offering.

"With Voldemort back, it's not going to pay for us to be at loggerheads." He said. Then gesturing his hand. "For Estella's safety?"

"For her happiness." Severus finished, grasping the former fugitive's hand firmly as he looked at his niece as she witnessed the exchange, her face truly lighting up. That she could even smile at all, after the day she'd just had, was the greatest gift of all; and that was one thing that both men could agree on.

"What did you do to this Wormtail?" Elsie asked resolutely, her inquisitive voice cutting through the companionable silence as the rather odd family unit of Severus, Estella, Sirius, Remus and, by extension, Harry, inwardly acknowledged that a time of great change and new beginnings was upon them.

"Well as Professor Dumbledore explained in Madame Pomfrey's office, Peter Pettigrew's Animagus form was a Rat…" Remus began the explanation, causing the lovesick Ravenclaw to blush and shy away under the attentions of her former professor.

"Let's just say Dumbledore's office has a new starring attraction." Estella said with an air of mystery. "Something that Professor Flitwick would be extremely proud of."

"You see…" Sirius said excitedly, sitting on the edge of his bed at his daughter's side so he could be at eye level with the young Elsie Carmichael as he gestured vividly. "Dumbledore charmed this glass cage so that Wormtail couldn't transform or escape…"

"The glass walls were my idea." Harry threw in. "It's what they keep rodents in at the Muggle zoo."

"But aha, this rodent's home doesn't just hold a rat." Remus grinned malevolently, sitting down next to Sirius. "Well it does, but Wormtail thinks he has company."

"And anyone who watches thinks that he has company." Estella said.

"What do we think we see in the tank with him?" Asked Ron, eyes wide in curiosity.

"Sid." Estella smirked, before elaborating with all manner of seriousness. "Sid the Snake."

"You're feeding him to a snake?" Hermione cried in shock, ever the humanitarian.

"No, there's not really a snake in there." Dumbledore smiled. "Though Estella's charm is pretty convincing to look at. It looks real enough."

"Wicked." Reg nodded in appreciation their ingenuity.

"I'd say." John agreed. "Never before have I found myself itching to go to the headmaster's office!"

Ron nodded in agreement, his mouth agape in awe. The adults around them laughed.

"You're all welcome up for lemon drops and a spot of tea." Dumbledore smiled at them invitingly. "I do so enjoy the company."

The students bristled uncomfortably at the idea of socialising with their headmaster, before Hermione broke the silence.

"Shouldn't he go to Azkaban, though?" she asked, her brow furrowed in consideration. "I've never heard of such an unorthodox punishment… and what about a trial?"

"Dad didn't get a trial." Estella said in a low tone, though she was not intending to be harsh towards Hermione. "Besides, it wouldn't work in Fudge's favour to give Peter a trial since the Ministry doesn't want to admit that Voldemort is back and has instead insisted that Peter is guilty of kidnapping me and murdering Cedric."

"But that's ridiculous!" Hermione cried. "Malfoy took you! Didn't you testify to that?"

"Under Veritaserum." Estella confirmed, her eyes darkening to a charcoal grey. "It makes no difference."

"Fudge is a fool." Harry scowled. "And frankly I am glad that Pattigrew is somewhere where we can keep a close eye on him. I don't trust Azkaban to keep him confined, and to give him the Kiss would ruin any chance of proving the Dark Lord's return."

"Fudge wanted to do it though… bring in the Dementors… give him the Kiss." Sirius scowled, shuddering at the thought of the Dementors being anywhere near him. "Just like he'd already brought them into the school to Kiss Crouch before anyone could question him for the record."

"It would not be advantageous to have done so to Peter." Dumbledore said. "At least not until we had more than the Minister's word that Sirius was to be pardoned. For now it is a temporary arrangement… though I could see it becoming a little more permanent."

"Professor McGonagall's animagus form has taken a liking to the display." Remus grinned wolfishly.

"And Padfoot wanted to tear him limb from limb." Estella added, elbowing her father in jest. "Insisted that he had a right to make the 12 years he spent locked up count for something."

"Double jeopardy." Sirius offered, grabbing Estella's poking elbow with his hand and tickling her in the ribs instead. "You can't serve time for the same crime twice."

The children around him looked at him in confusion, whilst the adults nodded in consideration.

"So this way it's like one big detention." John smirked.

"Now that is cruel." Reg snickered.

"And he has no means of escape." Estella's face took on a stony mask of seriousness.

"The charm Estella used." Remus explained. "Works by manifesting itself into whatever Peter fears the most… which, in his rat form is, of course, Nagini… Voldemort's snake."

"Very venomous." Sirius nodded.

"He even speaks Parseltongue." Harry confirmed.

"But he's not real." Estella assured. "And his name is Sid!"

"How positively Slytherin of you." Severus said appraisingly. "If you'd excuse me, I'd like to see this feint for myself."

Estella exchanged a quick goodnight with her Uncle before bidding him leave. Inwardly she knew that he would rather have stayed; but he just didn't fare too well in such crowded situations.

"Why Sid?" Ron asked, once the Potions Master had left and everyone began to resettle.

"After Sid Vicious." Estella smirked proudly. "Unlike what you'd guess from his name, he actually couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag… so I thought it was appropriate since Sid the Snake can't actually hurt the rat."

"Who's Sid Vicious?" Elsie squeaked.

"Aye!" Estella slapped her forehead dramatically. "Sex Pistols anyone? Muggle band from the 70s, people, get with the times!"

"Since when do you listen to Punk?" Sirius regarded his daughter with a frown.

"I don't." Estella shrugged. "But…"

"Estella Black, you better not have watched that movie!" Remus scrutinised her closely, while Ron, John, Reg and Elsie looked on in confusion, not quite sure what they were talking about.

"I didn't!" Estella assured him. "Q had a Punk special in the last annual."

"Wait, what movie?" Sirius asked, scratching his head. He'd heard of the Sex Pistols from the time before he went to Azkaban, but never knew about any movie.

"Sid and Nancy." Estella shrugged. "I'm not allowed to watch it, so I haven't seen it; though Moony said once that Sid and Johnny reminded him of you and James when you first graduated."

"I…I…I did not!" Remus said defensively. "You took it all out of context!"

"Now I really have to see this movie!" Sirius smiled.

Estella giggled softly, falling back onto her pillows and yawning. Next to her, Harry made himself comfortable on his side of the rather large bed, having the courage to do so without retribution in the Potion Master's absence. On his side, Ron, Hermione, Bill and Mrs Weasley sat on soft, conjured chairs; Ron and Hermione smiling happily at the news that Sirius was publicly free, while Bill and Mrs Weasley still looked a little shocked. On Estella's side sat, of course, Sirius, Remus and her three Ravenclaw friends… true friends, Estella realised, now that they had withstood the burden of truth and remained by her side. They fell into a comfortable silence.

"I'm all right," Harry told his friends, who were eying him as though he were fragile and might break at any moment. "Just tired."

Estella nodded in agreement. Mrs Weasley's eyes filled with tears as she smoothed away their bedclothes unnecessarily, taking to Estella like any worldly mother such as her self would endear herself to a motherless child. Madam Pomfrey, emerging from her supply cupboard, was wielding two goblets and a small bottle of purple potion.

"You'll need to drink all of this, you two." She said. "It's a potion for dreamless sleep."

Harry and Estella took their goblets and drank a few mouthfuls. The pair became drowsy at once, everything around them hazy; the lamps winking at them through the screens, their bodies sinking deeper into the warmth of the mattress. Before either of them could finish their Potion, before they could say another word, exhaustion carried them off to sleep.

Mrs Weasley sent Hermione, Ron, and the three Ravenclaw third years off to their dormitories shortly after, insisting that they too go and get some rest. Reluctantly, Bill and Molly soon followed, the Weasley matriarch eager to touch base with her husband, and Bill unwilling to permit his mother to travel alone, even if only by Floo. It was then that Remus and Sirius found themselves alone with the children.

Sitting side by side in close proximity as they sat vigil on Estella's side of the bed, Remus placed a weary hand on his friend's shoulder when he noticed the other man crying silently.

"Sirius?" Remus' voice cut through the silence.

"The things Malfoy did… Merlin… that she is alive defies logic." Sirius asked, his voice cracking slightly as he struggled to keep his voice below a whisper. "How'd she get to be so brave, Moony?"

"She is her father's daughter." Remus said simply, squeezing his friend's shoulder for emphasis. At his questioning look, Remus clarified. "A lot of people question how you managed to come out of Azkaban after so long remarkably unscathed."

"You think I am unscathed?" Sirius' eyes were downcast.

"Compared to the alternative?" Remus paused until Sirius shifted his eyes to look at him. "You do not realise your own strength, Sirius… just as we are so quick to underestimate hers."

"If only Selina lived to see how wonderful our child is." Sirius sighed. "I never even got to thank her…"

"Oh, I think you have redeemed yourself there." Remus said lightly, gesturing his head towards the door that Severus had vacated through previously. "She would be happy to see you two now."

"It's been a long day." Sirius mused, rubbing his palm over his stubble thoughtfully. "I thought I'd go insane being locked down there in the dungeons with Severus. The mere notion of confinement was enough to remind me of Azkaban…"

"…and the company the product of Dementors?" Remus offered, his lips quirking slightly.

Sirius nodded. "His quarters were not how I thought they'd be." He said slowly. "I mean, I never thought he would be the sort to let Estella have the run of the place."

"Her touch is everywhere, isn't it?" Remus smiled knowingly, having seen firsthand the transformation the dungeon quarters had undergone over the years.

"To… to pass the time, I asked after certain photos." Sirius' eyes adopted a far away look. "After a while, I began to realise…" he paused, bringing his eyes back into focus to stare at his friend intently. "He cares about her."

"You're only just reaching that conclusion?" Remus asked, one eyebrow raised in surprise.

"Yes… no… yes…" Sirius stumbled over his words. "I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I always assumed that he only ever took Estella out of obligation. Or some spiteful way to get at me." He bowed his head shamefully. "It was pretty self absorbed of me."

"Well, better late than never." Remus smiled slightly. "Now you're on the same page, you can work towards casting aside your differences."

"But that's just it, Moony." Sirius jerked in his seat as though saying it aloud physically affirmed it in his mind. "When it comes to Estella, there are no differences!" He looked down at the child on the bed and began to absently brush the hair out of her face with his hand. "Before you got to Dumbledore's office… when Severus first brought her in; I'd never seen him that way before. When she invited him into her mind and he – the hardened Death Eater who's seen it all – couldn't bring himself to recover the full extent of details about what had happened; I realised then that I could no longer hate him."

"I know what you mean." Remus nodded knowingly. "For me, that resolution came when I walked into his quarters to find him changing Estella's nappy the Muggle way."

"The Muggle way?" Sirius chuckled, thinking back to memories of Lily failing in her attempt to teach James and himself how to change Harry's nappy without magic. "Merlin, I knew Severus had an aversion to wand play, but isn't that a bit extreme? I'm surprised a pureblood wizard was even aware of how Muggles did things!"

"Believe me, the irony did not escape me either." Remus nodded to himself, decisively opting not to go into the reasons as to why Severus adopted such measures. "You may not think it of him, but Severus endeavoured to do everything right. From my observations, I don't think there's anything he would not do for Estella."

"I have him to thank, don't I?" Sirius sighed.

"Actions speak louder than words." Remus said cryptically. "If I know Severus as well as I think I've managed to do so, he's probably resolved himself to losing Estella to you forever now that you're free."

"I could never keep him from her." Sirius said. "Even if I still hated him."

"Ah, but will you permit Severus into your life out of obligation, or because he is family? He'd as soon as push himself away than feel indebted to your charity." Remus asked, letting the question hang as the two men sunk into contemplative silence.

1

"I'm going to go, Paddy." Remus said finally as the early beginnings of dawn crept in. "Dumbledore wants me to return…"

"It's alright, Moony." Sirius said brightly. "We'll see you in a week. Meet us at Kings Cross?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." Remus whispered, patting his friend on the shoulder in farewell, thinking how marvellous it would be to see the man standing honourably alongside all the other waiting parents as a free man. "Pass on my apologies to Estella and Harry for leaving?"

"I will." Sirius said. "They'll understand."

Remus leant over and kissed Estella's brow, and ruffled Harry's hair gently. "I'll see you soon, Sirius."

"Goodnight, Moony." Sirius called after his friend, his eyes never leaving those of his two children as they slept; his mind furiously going over all the things he was now able to do with his family now that he was a free man.

Tucking the pair in one final time, Sirius graced both their brows with a kiss before leaning back in his chair to watch them sleep. That day had bought with it much heart ache, much pain, much danger… the Dark Lord was back, and the risk to all of their lives had increased. But, Sirius looked out at the dawning sun reverently, and the new day ahead brought with it new life… a new beginning where he had the freedom to be with his family; and in that dawning of a new era, Sirius found that there was still hope.

End Chapter: Home

End Story: Black Light

**A/N: OK, so that was it folks, the end! Now I am really very curious to know what you all thought of the story over all, so please, review! Any questions and issues that need clarification I will be happy to address by return email. Massive thanks to all who have taken the time to review… this story would not have become what it did without the driving influence of you all. **


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